#240 Hot Mess Express

it died. You know anyhow it do you talk about? Do you honor its life through mango every every fourth week? Every time you leave? Do you blow it all the candles? What? What happened? Was it a heater? Uh? What I did is I just lit its tail on fire and it went off to it. When that happens, and you got to pull out the cat's tail before you leave? Serial killers? So that too, I don't remember the other day. Wait? What did what did uh? Compared to your old cat? What?

No I just didn't. I wasn't. I was always drunk and up until four am, so I didn't realize cats stay awake all night because I was awake all night, probably crying and writing poetry. But wouldn't it be like flipping around and doing the things that Mango does, and you wouldn't you be awake for that? You would think I had no regullection recollection? What this capt you? Honestly could be tried like possibly a serial killer based on how tortured that cat was. And I'm too lazy. We've

already established this. Okay, So wait, what's going on with Mango? Yeah, he died yesterday to I froze him to death. I did a different, complete opposite. He slept in my room over and he's been sleeping while now. I was asking Andrew because Buzzy will keep like three either three thirty or four thirty on the dot. He jumps on the bed and he starts making biscuits on me and he's peepers.

It's like, yeah, it's like when the cat purrs and like he needs and I can't, like I have to embrace it because it's so it's such like a special thing. But he wakes me up and it's just it's throwing off my sleep patterns. So I was asking Andrew if Mango does the same thing our cat's nocturnal? Yes, why did everyone know that? I don't know. It's fucking wild what they do at night. I mean I think that's in their blood. But is your cat a kiddie still? And so it's it's still like have that, you know,

like puppy energy. Yeah, I mean Brandon still calls him a kitten. I think he's like seven at this point, but he's he's like ten months. I don't know when a kittens on a kitten you've never googled after this is going to stop. I don't think it's ops it does. You definitely do not hear pat owners saying that my cat goes wild all night every night. Yeah, they do it forever until you train it. You gotta like train it. You gotta feed it early, you gotta play with it

right before you go to bed. You gotta run them ragged. Right, Well, can you just hurt on the white noise and lock it out of the room and then not? Well, that's the rub is is then you start hearing him make a bomb in the kitchen. No. But I mean, if you put on white noise, you hear anything. But as you know, I'm not a white noise man. Oh yeah, Well, um, no, it's not it's not that bad. It's not that bad. I mean it's getting better. He's sleeping mostly through the night.

And also he foxs with Brenna with a nightca so he'll sleep. He'll sleep on her neck, causing a rash, which is pretty cool of him, and then he'll lick that rash a week later like a fucking Now that's a serial killer. That's so weird. Yeah, but he licks the rash, he causes wild Oh my god, how does he get up to her neck to lick it? What do you mean on the bed? So he so she sleeps, Yeah, she sits on her back and he just fucking lads right on her. Did she train herself to do that?

I trained her. I got No woman of mine will be sleeping on their side expecting her face is not touch anything. I mean she moves around, but even on your side. A cat can sleep on your neck. They're pretty limber. Did you ever sleep like have you ever dating one with a cat? Well, my grandma died and we inherited her cat for the like last couple of years of its life. But it just hit underneath the bed and like more into my Grandma. We got on

with our lives, but Tutsi couldn't let it go. We would just tempt my dog, Speedo that we had when we got when we inherited Tutsi, Um, Speedo would be like just so jealous of any attention we gave anyone else, mostly the cat. And so even after Tutsi's passing, we would literally hold anything just go oh Tutsi and he would just be like and like try to get in so forever. I mean, cereal boxes, the mailbox, a blade of grass, We can just go, oh, Tutsie and he would just come over and be like So it was

really cute. Jealous. Yeah. I used to try to fight my parents about how dogs don't get jealous because my dadud be like, we know you need to give while treat and I'd be like, whiley didn't do anything, and treats are it's supposed to train a dog. They're not just supposed to So you know, Luigi would sit, and then we try to get Wiley to said, and he wouldn't sit. So we give Luigi a treat and then Wiley would have to get one because Luigi got one, but Luigi earned it. Nap you already kept him up

all night sleep. I love giving a random treat to a dog for doing nothing. I mean I do that too when you know they they're hungry for dinner too early or something. But treats. I think if dog trained as are listening, I'm corrected, like because they get fat. Otherwise, Oh yeah, I think. I think is going to be a fact. Like cat that like like a kid that's fed McDonald's. You went downstairs right now, where would that cat be? What's it doing? We bottom? Uh, he looks

like a mountain climber. He's got a thing, a lot of things all over your house. My cat is turned. It looks like a burning man for cats. You have all these sculptures and would Yeah, he's got a home. He's got this like weird it looks like a like a Nazi symbol. But fun, That's what I was talking about. That thing, it's like it's like an art installation. Yeah yeah, yeah, it was that Amazon. Okay, Um, so one day it will be a lot though. Yeah, good investment. There's a

thing on the wall. It's suction into the fucking wind shelves and it just cats like to be high. They like to fucking looking guy when they want to fucking tell you what's up? What is fun about having a cat? They're fucking fun. This my cat is dope. But tell me why, Like he'll fucking when he plays fetch. The motherfucker can jump like nine ft in the air. Makes me think a tiger could jump eighty feet in the air, just based off the size. Like, seriously, the cat can

jump the counter you have out there straight up? Oh here, I am how what the fuck? It's jumping like nine times and time when you drop it, doesn't it just land on it every time you can throw it? So he does that, he does this thing. He'll play fetch. He'll literally play fetch. He'll grab it like a dog. He can jump and I'll catch with both hands and do a flip and then lay it like I just watch him in amazement. Yeah, it's like going to a circus, l A. You know, I don't like that. I don't

like circus. I don't like any of them. But yeah, so he's doing that all day though? Or is it mostly like if you went down there, would you even say hi to him? Like? Is he out? Is he just like waiting for you? So I came in, I was going for two hours. I came in. He came up to me. He laid on his on his back. You know, it's hard for me to get on the floor, but I got down there. I gave him a couple of rubs. I went on the couch. He got on me. He does this thing. What does he do when you're

on TikTok? On TikTok, he's the beautiful thing. He'll he'll do his own thing. Like you don't have to worry about a cat entertaining himself. Yes, but when they want to be dependent, they're not annoying dependent. You know how a dog is like making all about me. You don't

even have time for TikTok. He'll do this thing where like he'll he'll bite me, but not so soft that it feels like a gentle acupuncture massage with his and then he'll claw you in a way, and then he'll use his back legs to hit and it's just I don't know, it's like a little massage. It's like a little massage. You're trying to get your attention. Yeah, he's just having fun. And then I'll go like this and then you rub him and then he goes and then

he'll get you again. And then with Brenna, they're on a whole another plane of like don't play hide and seek, Like he'll fucking go on the floor, She'll be on the bed, he'll look, he'll go, and then he'll fucking jump and then I'll run like like it's like it's like connecting in a way where I think there's more to this ship of like energy. Animals have souls. That's why you shouldn't need them. They have personalities. A pig would have that personality, no offense, but like Jane jumping

ten feet, well it's not about it. But that's the thing that people always just go, how can animals? It's wild that this animal I thought was just this bead eyed idiot, it tends to like other people more, tends to gravitate like they all do that. God, my assistance. That makes amazing means like just no, no, what did you think? Was b e A d y b e A d bead be the eyes visioning like Terence and Philip eyes But anyway, Karence Philip, Yes, yeah, the Canadians

and they have like like pac Man mouths. Yeah, yes, anyways, your assistant, yeah, she sent me a video of from like Planet Earth at one of those Netflix shows about a puffer fish that does this amazing artwork for it takes a week and he's working twenty four hours a day, seven days a week for one week, um to compete with the title like the Currents of the Ocean, and he just like like kind of fluffs along the sand and then it'll take a little seashells and put them

on different parts of the sand that is like raised up and once you zoom out, it's this huge crop circle like thing that has I mean, it's gorgeous. It looks like a dream catcher and it's to attractive mate, and it's it's crazy like you see it like pick up these little shells and just put them at the tops like like it's doing an art project, Like it knows where the shell it wants the shell to go, and it's at the top of this point and then the other shell will be at the top. It's the

craziest thing I've ever seen, is that on? Like what's that on? She just sent me a clip that was I think Planet Earth or one of those like the puff of fish Works installment. Like if you didn't know the puffer fish. It that you would think aliens are on the bottom of the ocean. I mean, you know what I mean, But what what's the difference between that and like, um, yeah, a cat that's playing high seek, Why isn't that an alien? Nothing? Yeah, why don't we

eat cat? Why doesn't anyone eat cat? Because who eats cat? I think some like I'm wondering just for like thevested anywhere, I know, but like dog meat is actually a thing. I'm just wondering his dog more delicious. I think cats cats are just it's too bland. I think I think cats aren't that that don't have that much fat on. But I don't know do I mean, yeah, I think cats are pretty lean. But I don't think you eat fat. You eat usually muscle. Yeah, and I'm not thinking. I

don't think you eat big cats. There's not a lot of them, I know. But what why they would breed? They just breed anything, but they wanted to make it to a tiger farm. They find a way just make them so fat they can't walk like they do with every other animals. So sad when I see those, like just any animal that's like deeply overweight and stuck in like a body that it's owners forcing it to have. I get that way when I see really overweight kids

where it's like they just like I don't have the choice. Yeah, and it's just laziness and these kids are like and they're so lively and happy and yeah, you're they're killing their kids. Well yeah, I think it's more like the it's yeah, it's it's not good. But I always just feel I I like almost like seeing it because I'm like, oh my god, there's someone that doesn't have the cultural stigma yet of feeling in a body that culturally we

so many people don't approve of. Like it's so I like fat babies, where no one's concerned about the baby's health, even though people make snip comments constantly like that's a big baby, like to make the moms feel bad or something. Sometimes that happens though, because of food and securities and people don't have access to healthy foods. Yes, but the problem is that food. Fast food doesn't make people fat.

It's the volume of food it makes people fat. So when I hear about feud in security, I'm sure I don't know what I'm talking about, but it's not if you just eat less of whatever the food you're getting, you won't be fat, Like you could eat McDonald's every night and not get fat. It could hurt, yes, you could have yes, for sure cood. But I always just when I see when I even a dog that's fat,

there is something sad about it. And this is not a body shame podcast, but just the cultural stigma that you carry as someone that's in a body that Americans don't say or say it's wrong or needs to change. I would say most Americans, not all for sure, and it's changing. Um, I just go, oh, it's so nice that like that dog doesn't like Sometimes That's what I try to act like whenever I have an ego, but anything is I'm like, what if I was a mailbox?

What if? Like that was what I was trying to describe that one day where I was like, what if you didn't care? What if you had no ego? So like whatever you're worried about, Oh this Nashville show, is anyone going to show up? What if you were a mailbox? Like it's oh, is that person mad at me? What does some one trying to be mad at a mailbox? You would just be like, what, who cares? Like, I don't know why I picked a mailbox, but I really feel like sometimes I just go, you're a mailbox because

I'm no different than a mailbox. I really I know I'm sentient, but like sentience doesn't really mean anything. I'm just a bag of I'm just an object that has the right wiring that makes me feel like I'm a self, but I'm not. So I can be a mailbox. Quite often. I think fear, Yeah, those fears and stuff, and I'm sad about something. I'm just like, would a mailbox, How would a mailbox respond to this? And it wouldn't because it doesn't. It doesn't matter that you can't put on

like imperfection to a mailbox. A mailbox doesn't feel sad that it's like rusted. I don't think it's yes, but I think you can do that to the point of then you're homeless and then like no, no. But what I'm saying, though, is like people being at that show me means money, which money makes her doing it for money as much as you're I get that we're always

doing stuff for money. Ultimately, well, but what money provides, but you can forever, well, you would need a certain amount of money, So maybe a certain amount of ego you need even more money. As I always say, comedians get into it because we are we are self esteem is low and because we want people to like us is it has something to do with that as much as it does money. And I'm just saying, if you remove that, and mailboxes also need money, I guess they

need maintenance to stay with the way they are. But they don't have it. They don't, they don't care. There doesn't matter mail like a mailbox. Say what you're saying. I'm just saying something. You can play this until you're homeless and you have nothing. But then, what everyone says about free will, When I say there's no free will, and they go, well, then what would I just do nothing? It's like, well, that's not the point up saying there's

no free will. The point is that you just need to know that you're you're still gonna want to survive. You're not choosing to do nothing. No, you're you're not. You're not making a choice to do nothing. But I do. I don't know why that works for me. Sometimes it's just to be like, you know, me and Chris are like having a fight or something. I will just be like what if, Like what if I was a mailbox and I and some and let's say I think Chris is mad at me about something and I'm feeling a

lot of shame about whatever it is. I just go, what if someone was like trying to shame a mailbox, Like how would that mail Because I deal with a lot of shame in every aspect of my life. It always comes back to like I'm a bad person. I don't deserve things. I don't I'm not Uh yeah, I don't deserve things and I don't I'm not good enough to get things. And so I just always go, what if a mailbox felt that way? And you wouldn't It wouldn't. You can't. You couldn't make a mailbox feel anyway, and

people can't make you feel away. But yes they can. Well sure sure, but I mean I guess I think there's probably like I just think about like if someone goes your mailbox is ugly, I'd be I could be hurt. My mailbox doesn't get it doesn't change anything about the mailbox, And we could also be that same way of like people's opinions of us could literally matter as much as because the mailbox doesn't have to do anything except collect mail. Okay,

well let's say computer. Let's say my computer had to work. I'm just saying it keeps elevating. The more you have to do to survive. If all, yeah, well survive, mentally, survive, financially, survive, physically. Mailbox just is there. I know that's what I'm saying, But I'm saying that we have to survive. You if you get in a fight with Chris, has to survive. Being shame or feeling shame or feeling like people don't like me is never going to make you do. It's

only when people go no, it pushes me. It doesn't. It pushes you off a cliff. And I could push you in ways to where you don't even really want to end up being yes and hard, But you might end up Tom Cruise, who looks happy but guaranteed miserable. I mean, he's killed so many children. Did you see him on top of that, like du buy things? Sitting up there with no restraint. I mean, get over yourself. How do you get up there? What's he thinking about out there? How good? Is yeah? He probably he is

a mailbox of emotions. Thanks are coming in the movies. Kid, we missed you. We gotta go to break Andrew every rat story. All right, we're back. Um. I went to um the Cardinals radio show remote today where they were broadcasting from Donut Chop. They do it, yeah, a remote location they were. I think it's called doing a remote. But yeah, you're right, broadcast, Yeah, someone you are. Andrew just goes. He was sucking a TV clipper clicker. He

was doing a remote. You know, one of my favorite thing, going to a hotel, taking right out of plastic, right out of way and just sucking. I can't, I can't do it. Yeah, like wait, no, you don't. You don't take it out of the pot. You don't put it out to plastic. Well, you had these slap bracelets at the remote. It was so fun. Kids died from those. Kids died from slap bracelets. I think they got recalled

like those are those were the first jewels? No. Yeah, kids cut their fucking artery, they cut their wrists, maybe with like a faulty one, but I think it's very safe. These are so fun. I don't know why they fell out a favor. Now, they're so fun to do. You just do this very sexual. It's like first experience with cuffs, like yeah, like a slap, and then oh well it is sexual. That's very nostalgic. It's so nostalgic. I was so excited about it, and I was thinking they're so

cheap to make and very lightweight. There would be a fun thing to give out. It shows, but I just wonder if people would trash them. I just don't want to contribute more ship to the ocean, which this probably is. I mean, who's going to keep a slab bracelet for longer than a day? Well, here's the thing, And there were millions of slab races out out of all our listeners. Who still has one? Yeah? Do you have POGs? Slammers? Slammers us spinners with spinners? Sinners that's not that long ago?

Things that you do on your finger and they spin. No, you're talking things forty spinners? Yeah yeah, yeah, where did those all go? And those were just here? Those are in the Mariannas Trench? Pet rock Yeah those are Yeah, that's that's what I'll do. Pet rock thing about that's a little bit above. Does it make sense that like when you go because if someone doesn't like my soda can and goes that's ugly. This soda can is not affected. The chemistry of it is not affected, the taste of it.

Don't do have a funny joke. Seriously, So if someone tells me I hate your comedy, you're ugly, like I don't like you. Instead of it impacting me and mean like processing it and me it going to get my brain and swirling ground and then literally leading to stress and me working out more me whatever it could just mail teflon Bruce Lee already covered what is it called like a butterfly seeing like a bee? That was Muhammad Ali wadny to like try to come up with like

famous quote that's every like be water. So you take things. You can take ship water experiments where if they if you talk to a glass of water and you go you fucking piece of ship water, it will it like taste or it's pH balance gets changed if you like scold a glass of water all day and then another glass year like your beautiful water, thank you. I swear

to God it's true. Someone just like yelling at I saw a study the other day that I posted on my Instagram, and of course they get a million guys being like not true. I do not relate to this to try to like get in my pants or like I hate these no offense two guys that I know, I don't hate you as much as the guys it. But whenever there's a study that says guys do this, guys don't go down on women. Guys don't like well, the guys always go on, I look, I look smart women.

But the study came out just like the funny women's study, men do not like intelligent women. They like smart women from Afar, and they will like them, I think, like on the phone and if they're in the next room or on video conference in person plummets they're liking of them. Men say they like they like smart women. So the problem is we do not as a species understand what we actually like. We say we like something, but then our actions say different. And this was an extensive study

that found that. Because it makes that, it means that you but what are you are you talking about? I know you know this word opinionated sounds bad, but you Q? Okay, how about it? Okay? Interesting? Yeah, I don't just straight up I Q because there's I don't know how much of it has to be with intelligence verse like it's intelligence man. But why would we hate Why would we hate to someone being smart? Like what does that do?

Because they see through our bullshit and then call us out? Yes, okay, so then let's say a smart person that doesn't always call out ship that they know. You know what I mean. There's a difference. If you, guys know a woman is smarter than you based on test scores, you will like

her less interesting no matter what she looks like. You know, I mean, I'm guessing looks can probably trump this a little bit, but um, yeah, based on I'm just saying, like, if you dated a guy that was smarter than you, that did better on the S A, T S whatever, and then like saw through bullshit that you did all the time, would you hate that he's smarter? Would you hate someone being like well, actually, George Herbert? But it's not like, of course that person is annoying. I know.

Is about men who perceive a woman that they have not met to be smarter. They will not like a woman more based on nothing else than knowing test scores. But you don't know what you actually like is what they found. Because every guy says what you says say and then most of the guys in my d M say is not true for me true? Let me just read some of them. I'm so not true. I'm actually

the contrary. And it's just like cah um. I just wanted to find I wish I wanted to say that I've met a lot of smart people where you have no idea how smart they are, because this is a study where men do know. So if you were to meet someone, if this is when you do find out someone smart, you know, aside from the person yet like a woman less. I wonder like how they conducted the study though, like that's what I'm trying to find because

it's it is. The way they did it was really interesting actually, and that's always what I love reading about these scientific studies is how they do it, and because they're always so um. I mean, it is interesting to think, like if you went on Bumble or Tinder and someone if there was a box of like what's your s a t score and to see how that affects if men would swipe right or not. Men may like the idea of a smart woman, but they don't want to date.

One new research suggests that dating as a woman is in fact the worst. This is from the Huffington Post. Okay, let me just go to it. Oh my god, Men's wait, hold on, Men's say say they want the group doing Andrew talk. Maybe like they're like the woman walked in and she had glasses on, and the like fuck that, I'm not sucking man look at her glasses like like a librarian. He didn't like her out. We look at her with a beaker. Yeah, okay, so until she sp

him with a bracelet. Yeah, so this was this is from I guess this is a thing that was posted a while ago and I just came across it. But this is I mean, the research is all still there. Um do men not actually want to date? A series of studies asked how how far men and women have progressed after looking into mating purposes of more than five thousand men and women. Um. Uh, men desire smart, strong,

successful women. Seven percent of men said they would date a woman who was more intellectual than they were, who was better educated, and who did make considerly more money than they did. Said that they were in to a woman who is confident and self assured. Um, what, this doesn't do it? Maybe it was just like that they say they want no, no, no, this is not a headline, Okay,

so here we go. In the first version of the study, the researchers had this is a different study, had a hundred and five undergraduate men read a hypothetical scenario about a woman who scored better than them on a test, and then asked them to rate how romantically desirable that woman seemed. In the second, they had a hundred fifty one undergraduate men take an intelligence test and then asked them if they'd like to meet the woman down the hall who either scored better or worse than them on

the test. Both of these studies found that when men imagined a hypothetical woman who was smarter than that they were or only knew of the woman in an abstract sense, they were interested in meeting her and even dating her. In the next two versions of the study, men interacted with a woman who either performed better or worse on an intelligence test than they did. After the participants met the woman, took the test while seated next to her

and heard both of their scores read aloud. Male participants were asked to move their hair across from the women's chair. They were then told to take a survey about their first impressions of the other, specifically how attractive and desirable they found each other. The researchers looked at the distance between the two chairs as a measure of how attracted

the man was to the woman. Men who were partnered with a woman who scored higher on the intelligence says felt the need to physically distance themselves from her when moving their chairs. They also tended to rate her as less attractive and desirable to date than men who interacted with the women who scored worse than they had. Boom, But these women look different, and it's and it's after they were like shamed in front of them, you know,

like embarrassed for getting a lower score. So did that hook? Guess what? That's what's going to happen in a relationship of your data woman. If you took two women, one being dumb as fuck and also not attractive, and then one means smartest, fucking attractive, the chairs going towards. In the fifth version, men were either told they were there was a woman in the room next door, or they

were seated face to face with a woman. Participants and the woman shared basic information like name, relationship status, age, and you're in school. Then they took an intelligence test side by side, and we're told their scores allowed. The men were told the woman either scored higher or lower on the test, no matter how well they did. Finally, participants filled out a survey measuring how much they related to various stereotypical masculine qualities and how interested they were

in the Roman women romantically. Um. The last two versions of the study found that men were less interested in dating and interacting with a smarter woman when she was face to face with them. However, in the fifth study, when she was psychologically distanced supposedly in the next room, there was no difference in men's desire to date or interact with her, no matter how well she scored in

the test. So multiple tests confirm that a woman, regardless of her looks, when in a room with a man and she knows she's smarter, doesn't want to be near her. But when she's in the other room and they don't

actually have to be near her. This reminds me of um guys before they realize like the responsibility of having sex with a woman and what it means, being like I would love to be in a relationship, and then they fuck you and then they're like change their mind or like just saying what just assuming that you can do things, Oh, I can jump that high and you try to jump on the counter like you can't and

you can't, but you can't. Like you want a smart woman, and yet when you're faced with one, no, like, no, I get it. I mean I think a lot of men are insecure and fucking they're little bitches when it comes to empowered women and like independent women and women making more money and women being the breadwinners. They hate it. Yeah, but it's it, says the takeaway. We don't always know

what we want, even if we think we do. It seems that even if men say they want a smarter woman, when push comes to shove, they're not so into women who threaten their own intelligence. Uh, They're finding suggests that there are conditions under which self protective concerns may trump qualities of partners that seem desirable at a distance. Translation, men who blow off intelligent women might just be protecting their fragile, masculine egos. It's a bummer. I feel like,

I mean, it's not good me. No, like like look great, drool. I think like you could date intelligent women and you could be smarter in other ways than her just being booked. I know, you ever pretended to be dumb in front of a guy or just knew that your intelligence would threaten them, so you just kind of play dumb. Honestly, I do it all the time, all the time in work settings, not in my relationship because I used to do it in relationships when I was not in healthy ones,

but in work settings all the time. And I I just want to say, because I am a feminist, I want to say I use it to my advantage and if a guy is dumb enough to fall for it, it helps me get what I want. So agreed, I mean, we do stuff. Can you remember points in times where you played smart as smart as you can? And I'm backfired? So that's what I'm saying. So why are we playing dumb? Why are you? Because I've never tried to play smart? I know, But why would do that thing? I'm smart? Interesting?

That would make me lose a job. But but we don't know that. I mean, there are times where I know that when men like to be cocked a little bit, and they love us, they love a woman telling them what to do, and especially if but if someone is mine if I'm a subordinate, No chance am I ever? When I because I just have. I think women are good at reading a room because we have to be, because men can murder us. We have to know when

they're going to be ticked off. Um we have. We just have better instincts for reading people than men do. I think, and I think that I can absolutely tell when a man. I've seen it happen before, where men just turn off or turn just stop talking to you or stop addressing you because you've you've um been smarter about something than they have, and so you just have to go. I don't know how to you work this remote ox, I don't know what is? How do you

put it? I don't do that, just like match it or I just like I'm very curious about things and ask them questions, like explain things even though I might know already. But it's like disarms them and then go in for the kill. Yes, I mean yeah, I won't play to me, but I will not try to I will not. I will help them get at the answer themselves, almost like a second grade teacher being like, and then what if I do carry the two there? What would happen?

You think and then they go for and I go, oh, yeah, okay, good job. I wouldn't have gotten that. I think that. But it's just interesting. I think it's a lot of things happen for women to play smart because I don't think i'm smart, so I kill it with So if I'm in a room, I go with humor, and that's

how I get things. Yes, that's how I get a job, or how that's how I go you know what I mean, Like, it's never high play up to my highest intelligence because I don't know, right, I've seen you be smart in the room and then you say something like, um, well, like you'll say you'll use a word wrong, which isn't really about intelligence. I mean in some ways it is, but you'll like say, um, what was the one that

you were like, I'm on hyenas. You'll say something like that and people go hyenas and you go, well, I'm Tom, I'm Tom com guy, I'm not top top you. Literally that isn't exagerate. You'll just go, wow, I'm done, I'm coming, and then it's like you're turned off. I'm turned well, yeah, I mean there are down because you just go, oh god, I'm stupid. Because it probably brings you back to being so I feel like if I'm not being listened to,

I'm just something like don't we are listening? As you said, I strong first of all, that was three times, you know, like I think those things are not signs of intelligence. That's you just like not caring if it's sirked or circus olf. I'm getting stuff from someone that maybe I would want. I I tend to shut down instead of pushing even harder to make them like me more. No, I can't. I just can't. Yeah, I've done it before, and it's just and you never get the reaction that

you are pushing for usually, I mean it doesn't really. Yeah, I used to when when a boyfriend would get mad at me, or and then you go to like talking like this more and like being like oh this is yummy, or like just being like fake like new friends. What person I used to say, like why are you being new friends? Suddenly it's like downtown this is this isn't a best get um, but yeah that's get uh Yeah, I mean that that is that is very hard for

me to do. Is not turned into people pleasing when like someone doesn't like me, even a girl getting really really nice, where I will actually treat her better than anyone I've ever treated anyone in my life because she doesn't because she's a horrible person, and she ends up getting the best of me, like all my energy to be so kind, so complimentary, so sweet because she's a cunt. It's so weird when that happens. It's whependency because we

are desperate. But codependency isn't a bad thing. Like I think codependency gets a bad rap, but like, no, it's not like we need each other. We humans need. No, no, no, you're looking. It's codependency is um basic happiness this person like me, basing your happiness on someone else's feelings, it's not that like we rely on each other. That's what I used to was as well. But it's the emotional thing, right,

Oh my god, that's my whole thing. Like I I think I'm shipped, So unless someone else thinks I'm good, then I must be. If anyone ever has any seeking suspension that I'm ship boy, it's just then what then what does my The only thing that's holding up my tent is the tent poles of people thinking I'm better than I think I am. So those go away. I've got nothing, you know, like that water tent. Well t Yeah, a tent that's doesn't have polls or doesn't polls is

still a fucking tent. It's so true, it doesn't really matter. I'm a mailbox. Um, all right, that's gonna be. That's gonna be my wooco song a mailbox. Alright, guys, let's take a quick break and something like that. Alright, we're back. Let's do the news you heard. Oh man, it's Thursday, folks. You know what that means. It is Thursday. What are you gonna do is July four? If you fire off fireworks out of your asshole or are you gonna suck

it down like an animal? I hope you're having all the wait what, um, what are you doing for fireworks? There's gotta be something St. Louis. Are you leaving guns or something in Louis or something? I mean, every night, how do you think that's your life? That's January one, that's New Year's that's that's a real thing. People still do it. I mean, you don't have to worry about bullets fly. It's not like floor bring a steel umbrella like on the third floor. I'm selling range. No, I'm

the twelve. It's gonna hit me first, gonna shoot up and go right down. We're gonna be yea, we are gonna be off on our birthday. Where you going? I know it's no nation. Um, I'm going to upstate New York. Keen New York girls trip. No, no, no, I'm going on boys trip. Yeah, I'm going with great Nikki. So I have a I have a great story for you. Yes, okay, so okay, so just y I for your future trip

or trips. Traffic to the Hampton's has gotten so bad that rich New Yorkers are getting bladder surgery and bladder botox to avoid bathroom break on the drive. That's so stupid. I love a bathroom trip. I love going stopping on a rest stop for a bathroom break. I love it. The problem doesn't take that. That's why I gotta got it. Okay. I thought people were just like I don't want to stop. I'm trying to think, Yeah, there's a stretch there all go through your Hampton's cattle. Yeah, back in the day,

there's a stretch between East and South. For a while there, people are just helicoptering in hilicopter. H No, I've I've taken helicopters in and out to Hampies and so really I would not do it again. And onlyopters really very scary, so scary. Um I would take a passenger bus now though, because I have no fear of that. But um, I'm going on a girls trip with eleven girls on my

nightmare kid. But this week get I'm going on a yeah upstate to watch fireworks and um jump off cliffs and uh and I'll write a suicide not before I do that. No, it's like a cliff situation. I'm not doing the cliff jumping. No. Sere Lena did it once and she got a she it looked like a bullet wound. It was this gigantic bruise. She was like, Nicky, never do that. Ever. She was like, you know all the boys do it. I have no interest in doing it. Shallow one short one. Maybe I'll feel that. No, it's

it's I don't. I don't want to do anything that is not actually approved by state law to be safe. This is just a bunch of boys being like that's fine. Also like bladder surgery, dicks and European gatorade. Yeah, you need more gatorade a lot more than you think. It's wild. It's like you were talking about poop, Like food compacts down too little. I don't know what's going on. Someone's saying some mean stuff to out water. Um. Yeah, it's

so hard. I got so much pissed all over me. Yeah, I mean I might as well just have pissed all over myself and save the gator Well. It's also hard to figure out what as a woman, where the pea comes from, and where to put the bottle over because it's just like starts just going everywhere, because especially when you first start peeing in a car, it trickles out. Yeah, like if you I would just put it like up in it, like on it, covering all every space. Used

to just put a yeah, just right up there. But it's hard to pee not in the toilet because we're so used to going to toilets. You guys are used to standing up it being like maybe going in the woods. Can you cut it off like guys cam. Yes. My friend Holly can't though, because she was warm shirt and

she doesn't have any eiggles. Man, she needs a whole leader. Now, that was that was what we discovered in high school she had a peining problem where she would pee every time she laughed too hard, and it would all like she would plug up her vagina with her foot, like she'd fall to the ground, plug up her vagina with her heel. And once it started, though it was too late,

which I didn't understand. None of us understood. We just thought it wasn't that big of a deal because if she pete a little bit, like, who cares, it's funny. But we didn't realize is that once Holla starts beeing,

it does there's no off switch. And we didn't realize it until one day when I was in the bathroom and I was talking to Hollow, like I had a bathroom off my bedroom, and I was talking to her from She was in my bedroom like all my bed, like flipping through my CD book or something, and I'm talking to her from the bathroom and I'm like, so later on, what movie do you want to watch tonight? And and she talked and I couldn't hear her over my pace sounds, so I stopped my peace dream and

she answered, you know, like dropped dead Fred. And then I was like, oh, that's a good idea. And they started peeing again, and she goes and then I was, all of a sudden, her face around the corner, and she goes, what the funk was that? And I was like, what do you mean? She was like, why did you stop being in the start again? And I was like, what do you? What do you I couldn't understand it, but she was like, I don't know what that is. She had never done that that. It just everything comes out.

It's like a sprinkler system in a you know, if you set up the sprinklers, they just don't stop until they're all out right at the top of the gatorade, and you know you're gonna get piss on you, but you just can't help. You can't stop it either, and then you stop it, but then you always get shot when you see bottles of Gatorade with pissing them around New York City with tax cab drivers, just like, why did it always Gatorade? Because I think they had like a bigger hole at the top. Um I have a

confession the owner of what's going on. So this has not happened to me yet, but last night, after Buzzy woke me up in the middle of the night, I went back to sleep and I had a dream, and uh, it was a dream that I was hanging out with you, Nikki. You were in my dream. That was really cool. We were like in this like mansion and we were outside at the pool and you decided you didn't like your

bathing suit anymore. So you just like got out of the pool and all of a sudden, you like pull your entire bathing shoot off, and I saw your puss. Oh my god, what did it look like? It was no, huh, But she's playing down it like like she didn't want to intimidate you. It was she isn't another room, so you might be okay. It was bald, and you were going to go inside the house to look for another

bathing suit. And I'm thinking, like, oh, but there's people in the house and think he's gonna go in there naked. She's just gonna do that. That's kind of like my new thing. I want to be more naked. Uh. Maybe that's why of it, I really yeah, maybe it is in line with like exactly what I want to start doing. Like I just I think that we need to just have our bodies out and make people deal with them no matter what. You look like, like, just take your

fucking shirts off. I'm just so I want I want people have to look at our vaginas and have to deal with like, this is what it is. I want to bleed everywhere and be like, this is what comes out of me every fucking month, you know, like I want people to deal with it, because I mean, I talked about it before. I can't believe that I never knew how much blood comes out of me, and so one day I just didn't decide to put a tamp on it. Our whole lives were just like no, no, no,

keep it in, oh, keep this away from people. Don't don't inconvenience anyone with this. Now, I want to spin up a little tamp on around on a string and fulling it at your fucking forehead. So mad, I'm so mad. I was. I was like, I don't know, driving to that thing today, the radio thing, and I'm just like furious about Roe v Wade. I just like and I was, I was leaving on your voice message about just being angry about other stuff, and she was like, dude, it's

like everyone, we're all like so simmeringly. If you're not mad, you're not paying attention and I hate when people say that, but it's true, like you're not It's just, um, I just looked at a p heard myself on stage on Thursday night versus Saturday, and it was a different person. I mean not my shirt was on in one and my shirt was off another. But I just think that it was just like, I don't know, I'm just I'm just not, uh, not feeling very good about stuff. I

hate the Pantrex. It made me feel better, even though those people that left those notes probably did it before Rob Way got overturned and so it was a different world. We let's listen to some hope in women's voices for the last time. Let's get to fan trax. She's getting an abortion. I think most anti abortion. Okay, so let's start with calls from this week. Um, and let's start with Shamara pay Nikki Andrew and this is your bestie

Shamera calling. I'm sure you remember me our meet and greet Nikkinie Andrew in Royal Oak because of my unfortunate events, um, like breaking down and the people help you get The besties helped me out and I made it to the

show on time, which was really cool. And then I just wanted to say that I had so much to say to you guys, but I was a hot mess, express super nervous, and I just thought it was really awesome that like besties in general are like people that help others and we're like a little community and it's really cool what you guys have created in the pod.

And I work as a firefighter e MT and when I'm not taking calls, I really enjoy listening to the pod and laughing, and I've been listening since you up days. You guys are just really great and you did great at the show and do and Jaded, Oh my god, Jaded. Yeah, she was so nice. I remember her. I remember that name. What a name, Shamearra. Also, what a badass firefighter? Fucking I know she's e MT firefighters. She's not taking calls out your show. She said, well, you gotta pass the

MT before you get firefighter. Wait, you have to pass what might you have to start as an EMT? You know this? No? All right? Because does he want to be a firefighter. Um No, he wants to do more like rescue stuff in like wilderness. But he did he has volunteered as an EMT with the fire department, Andrews not wrong. Well, he's in a If he wants to do that, there's gonna be more like fires fighting fires

out there. Is that what he wants to do? Or just rescue people off cliffs like Girl Scouts that didn't go in groups of three? Yeah, just like rescue a group of people mostly guys and the one girl that doesn't want to jump off the cliff, he wants to rescue her. Yes, okay, sweet, I'll see you this weekend.

Did you know that Girl Scouts? You should always go places in groups of three because then someone there is to stay there with the victim or the person that's maybe injured, and then someone goes, so you always have two people in one place. I don't know why I remembered four four We'll get you by Smokey the Bear on the Woods. All right, next father, All right, here's another fun one from Justine on something you revealed this week. Hey guys, it's Justine in Michigan. Just so you guys,

when you were in Royal Oak a great show. So I just listened about how your dad would freak out if the tiniest thing goes wrong, which actually made me think of my dad We literally nicknamed him wcs worst case scenario because he always jumps to the worst thing. If I came home and I was like, I have to tell you guys something, he would immediately respond with your pregnant. And I was like, no, I just got a bad grade on a test. But now I guess

it doesn't seem so bad. So when I was sixteen, I drove to the mall to go shopping your jeans screwed out American Eagle. It was considered a mini skirt back then, but it was still like mid five. So I came home and he saw what I bought and immediately took it from me, drove back the thirty minutes to all to return it. Basically, you thought if I wore that, I'd get pregnant. Yeah, psycho. Anyways, just had to show that story. I love you guys. That's so funny. Yeah,

you know again, men just thinking we're sluts. No offense to your sweet dad. But men are conditioned to just be a dumb sled or too smart. Yeah, well, we're supposed to dress slutty to attract you. When you want to read getting too I do, and you realize you gotta put on skirts to attract a man um and then they hate you for it when they can't fuck you, And it's not that's not your dad thinks that men won't be able to resist you if you're wearing that skirt.

It's probably his reasoning, not that you were some like you trollop. But at the same time, there's some kind of implication that you want men to rape you if you're wearing that. Like the whole what was she wearing thing is obviously what people say in a cartoonist world, which is not really that far off from what people actually say. Are you sure you want to report that that's a powerful family in these parts? Like that kind

of ship? It is? It does I have a new and I don't think this is a new theory, but I do have a theory that all of the stems from men thinking we're sluts, being wanting us to be sluts but only sluts for them, and the fact that if they can't fuck us exclusively, and then then they don't want us to be sexual at all. Sorry. It fits in sliding scale to like men not being able to handle that you've had an ex boyfriend, or like that you fucked other men they know that you have.

They can't hear about it because it's just too threatening. Tor He goes, what is that? Why does it lead to legislation that takes our ability to like control our own bodies? Why does it lead to that? Andrew? I know it's not your fault, but it's on the same continuum. Do you know what I mean? And we it's not that women don't get jealous too, but we don't try to stop you from coming. What is it? I don't know as someone that do you agree with me? Final thought?

What do you think men taking away all right to abortion is about? No, I think that has to do with it. I think it has to do with um.

I just don't think they want independent, empowered women that can think for themselves and will probably vote against him because they're mostly men in Government's my reason why I don't think they want women to be empowered, because if we all get together and we really harness the strength of our sexuality, which is the thing they want us for, and then they if Monica Lewinsky wearing a little bit of a short skirt walking by the Oval office made

some made a man give up every risk losing everything that his whole career had built to the number one position in the US government. He put that on, he put that at risk in the line of fire for a blowjob or two. What could women do? How much could women take over the world by just being a little bit more, Um pointed, And you know, organized about how we use our sexuality and how we don't give it away, how we use it to get it, we could take over the world. That's why they don't want

us to have our sexuality. That's why they don't want us to want to feel like people poor. You want to keep everyone poor. The more kids you have, the more poor you're gonna be. That's how they look at which I find kind of weird because I'm like, then are they gonna Are these kids gonna vote Republican when they get older? I don't know, they're not going to vote.

Poor people don't vote, and so their vote is negligible, like it doesn't the poor people can't get off work to vote because it had to be in an Amazon boxing facility for a hundred hours a week. So poor people don't vote because they also don't have a good education because they live in communities where we don't let them have good educations and they're working all the fucking

time to make a wage that isn't even living. Talking my dad yesterday because my mom is like you and I are getting out right before it gets really bad to my dad, because it's true. They are the perfect for humanity. Being born in the fifties was the best time ever because you're gonna be gone before ship really starts getting funky. They had to go through Vietnam and

ship my dad didn't get dropped. I mean there's always war. No, no, I know, I'm just saying, compared to the the atrocities of even modern times or and if we're going back further back in humanity, being born in the fifties in the United States is the greatest thing that could have ever happened. We're the lucky I mean you and I being born in your nineteen sixty three and me and we are so lucky too. But got hot in there.

I always think kids should stay in I think kids should be in the womb until there are four or five. But then I guess as a woman, that would suck to be pregnant four years. But um, we got it. Then you don't have to deal with the baby it's not about the Well, this is kind of going again. Last and at the game, the baseball game to with my family, I hooked up for us the baby too myself, like we were almost going skydiving, like he was in

front of me and I was his instructor. And it is so easy to have a baby like that where it's just attached to you and you don't have to hold it. Why doesn't every person carry a baby that way? I really need to know. And I understand it takes like a lot getting the baby and you fall on your stomach, it's dead. Well, if you carrying a baby, it's not a good thing either. I mean, I'm just saying that's what I think it is. But I don't

think that's what why they don't do it. I think it's because they're like, well, you gotta put the baby in and you have to strap it in. There's got there's gotta be a way that there's a thing an apparatus that you can wear where the baby can get in and out of it very quickly and you don't have to Like when I carry maryan a satchel, carrying something even a slightly like ten pounds become very cumbersome after a while. Oh my god. I was walking around

that game and I was invisible. I think about flying. I look over people with babies when they fly. They can't nap. You gotta be fucking awake the whole time. This baby. Would you ever want one? Um? Last night at the baseball game, I went with my nephew and thee's another nephew. I was walking around the park. I got recognized a couple of times, but then I put that baby on my body and no fucking men looked at me. It was like I was invisible because they

knew that I couldn't get fucked. It is insane how invisible you are when you have a baby on you, like from you think being pregnant. It's almost like sexual because you know that woman, like she's not burdened by a baby, yet you know she's the baby. You can make time to suck your dick. Still, Uh, there's not a baby. Yeah, But it was weird, like I went from I really felt invisible when I was holding Poppy's hand.

I had this baby wrapped on me and no one looked at me, no, like you can tell that, And I looked cute. I was wearing short shorts, blong blonde hair like I was wearing a tiny tank top with no bra, but there's a baby from There's no one looking at me, and it was it just made me sad, maybe sad that like as soon as they're like, oh well, someone already came in that I don't want it. I'm sorry this is a man hating episode, but I don't

hate all men. It's just a lot of you. Any final thoughts from you, Oh yeah, if you're going all right, guys, don't be cut and Ja