#239 No Tog

It probably means I have it all right, Yeah, they just don't how to tell you. Yeah, they're they're just having in company meetings about like, Okay, how do we break this to her? She's very emotionally fragile right now? Should we wait till her special comes out? You know? Max is tracking it? Oh Max, see I forgot about Max. Oh he'll he'll enjoy that. He'll enjoy it a lot.

That's my special does come out? Yeah what because you guys dropped that as like a fashion egg the other day and I was like Max, but now, yeah, I forgot about it too. That's a good pool and good mom. What happened ner eye. No, it's from me trying to rip out of contact out of my eye last night. It was like not coming out. So I just like, you know, sometimes you just gotta like grab your eye kind of wears out there, you know what I'm talking about.

But it just I couldn't find where it was, and I just all I needed to do was put solution in my eyes and then rub the top like you kind of pinch the top of your eyelid and you move it down. But instead I just went in with like dry eye, just trying to grab it because I was just in a bad mood yesterday, and um, I've been in a bad mood my whole life recently. I

think like it's just permeates my being recently. And I just was ripping it out and um, and then I just looked in the look it looked in the mirror, and it find me of Amy Sheen where used to have a joke about when she she tried to be believe once and she like blew a blood vessel in her eye because that happens when you throw up too much your eyes pop, And she said, I just looked like an oracle. So I looked at the beer today, I was like, predict the future. Thin. Remember that woman

in that movie Stephen King movie Thin? Nah? And she like brushes her like old Cragley witch hand over his face. She was nah. And then this fat guy just starts losing weight. And then it's funny when like when when we're afraid of like an old scary or a young scary, it's like I could beat the ship out of an old lady or a young kid an oracle with like superpower if she didn't get to made him start losing

weight until he wouldn't live anymore. So first it was great, Yeah, it's like, is that what happened in the movie for a little while almost he's getting a blowjob from his wife and he's on the way home and he's a fat guy that can't lose weight. Yeah, and he um.

And that's the scene where Kerson and I as kids used to like rewind it over and over because as he's getting head in the car, there's the sound that we thought was like a stretchy sound, like a rubber band going like like and we thought penises like had a stretchy sound then, so we would rewind it over and over on VHS blackbuster, Um and go back because we were like we swore we here to go. Maybe, I mean I think I waited sound. It was just a sound effect that was maybe like a zipper or

like a part of his pants or something. No, no, no, So then she's getting it's his wife, I think, giving a blow jup. And then he, uh, maybe her mouth is stretching, and then he that's an old woman that's crossing the road or almost hits her. And then he gets out of the car and he goes up to her and then she like gets up and goes nah, and she like curses him. And then he starts losing weight no matter what he can eat and everything, and

he's just losing weight, and he's like loving life. And I think he's like to be like I don't remember what happens in the film, but he's like loving life. And then it just won't stop. And then he gets he gets starts getting scary and he realized he was cursed. He has to find the witch and stuff. It's kind of like my my laugher for higher movie. Remember I told you about the movie I wrote, But the guy kept getting fatter. It was the opposite. Wait, what happens?

Is there an oracle? Is there? Super? You would think there'd be some kind of crazy like what's really happening? But no, his buddy's just feeding them at nighttime, so in his sleep. Yeah, and he just keeps getting fatter, but he doesn't know why because he's asleep. How did you come up with that? And is that a b blott? Is that a b plot to the left? Yeah? Yeah, it's throughout the whole thing. Did you when you wrote this movie? Were you like no, were you know about

a plots? Be plots? Yes? Because I saw I Sid Fields, I got his DVD, so you like tried to learn how to write one? Really? Yeah? And I wrote it in like three weeks. Was there a course to like teach you how to write one in three weeks or was it just something you Oh no, it wasn't like six minute apps. It was just it was just sid Fields DVD and it just you block everything, you know, like in three acts and this is how many scenes

are in each act, dude, the second act. If you ever try to write a movie, I know you've wrinned show. Have you wrote a movie? It's fucking impossible to fill those pages like it's really you just start putting things in there. Well, I've been watching a lot of um, I'm I'm. I've been watching a lot of Albert Brooks movies recently the best. I've never really seen his movies. So I got asked to participate in this thing about

Albert Brooks. I don't want to give too much away, but you know, sometimes you get asked to comment on like I asked god as be interviewed for about George Carlin for The New York Times, and then I got asked about Albert Brooks. And when you get these asks, I go, well, I'm not a huge George Carlin fan. Obviously I know about him, but it's my knowledge is not extensive. And then a lot of times people with other comedians would be like the same. With Albert Brooks.

I've known him from Curb. I know him as like a voice and uh that Fish movie. I know him as UM, I know him from other things, but I don't know, I've never seen a single one of those movies. I think I saw um, the Defending Your Life when I was like, you know, in first grade or something. So yes, so I've watched so anyway, I got asked to do this thing, and I think a lot of times comedians that if you don't know the subject matter,

you should not do an interview about the person. But I take it as an opportunity to go, Okay, well, so I'm not an Albert Brooks fan because I don't know,

but it's just because I don't. Maybe I would be, and maybe I actually am really good at speaking about things I love, So why don't I just immerse myself in it, take a crash course, watch everything, and I might have a better appreciation and more to say about Albert Brooks than someone who might have been like, oh, I grew up on his movies, Like I might have a different perspective. And I think that some people would go, you're just like pretending to be a fan, and it's like, no,

I'm being honest. I don't know his work at all. And so I asked, like, Okay, you need me to speak on Albert Brooks. What's my time limit here? Like how much time do I have? Do I have to

do this over a weekend. I'm probably not going to be able to talk educatedly about him or emotionally about him over a weekend, but I have like until mid July, and so I'm like, oh, I can easily consume everything, and I am I am, I will say after seeing Modern Romance, Defending Your Life, um, the the The Muse, and then last night I watched half of Lost in America.

I am pretty fucking well versed. And I've watched a lot of Johnny Carson clips and a lot I mean too, but it feels like a lot sometimes because it's just

like comedy was different back then. Movies were different, watching an hour but less happening, just things taking their time, him in a bathroom like in Modern Romance if you watch that movie, and honestly, with all of his movies, there is aside from The Muse, I think that had more like you know, I don't, I don't know how to describe it, but there's just there's a little bit of like they're going to move voyeurism, that's lost in

That's Lost in America, where they're they're driving across the country. I watched all those movies again, Yeah, yeah, I mean, look, there's plenty of albums. It's the first first album you ever heard, you're you become a huge fan. You don't need to know fucking every single Beatles album. This is a better way to become a fan. Like I became a huge fan of George Carlin because I got asked to do that thing, and I was like, well, I'm not gonna talk to the New York Times about George

Carlin until I know what I'm talking about. But I think there is some merit in a person talking about an artist that just got into them, as opposed to like, you can't be in a documentary about Sandling if you yeah, unless you've you've been. I've I've been watching himself. I was Sanders Show fan. You know, I was in ninth grade.

It's like, okay, well I'm one now. And actually I probably have a better memory of it than you do, because you're not gonna binge the whole series, whereas because you go off of your memory from ninth grade, whereas I have a fresh perspective. So you were an original fan. You didn't like King Joleon the first two albums, You just like after Sex on Fire, Fuck Imposer, and then they get mad at the actual band for putting I think I hope more people ask me to be in

their documentaries or journalists. So I so I am forced to do these things that listen. When I have an opportunity to go watch a movie, I don't want to watch a movie from the eighties as much as I want to watch the new movie that everyone's talking about. Like I, my time is best spent. My time is best spent as an entertainer, I think, and someone who does does a podcast every day and who needs to

have like topical things to talk about. Watching something topical, even if it's shittier, if it's Rotten tomatoes, but everyone's

talking about it. It's better for me to watch that Marvel movie than Modern Romance, which, yes, everyone's seen, but that's not really But now I realize it is better for me to watch those films, not for you know, for the long run, because I'm really inspired by his way, his approach to filmmaking, and how simple it is, and how he is the same character in every one of his movies. He's like this neurotic guy who uh, you know, picks apart like the nuances of life, kind of in

a Larry David sort of way. Kind feel he seems. It's just I just can't believe how much of nothing can happen in Modern Romance. Nothing happened. I cannot believe people. And he was supposed to I learned this Albert Books was supposed to be Billy Crystal's role. And when Harry met Sally and he I that is my favorite movie, when Harry met Sally. I'm not kidding you. I think it might have been better with him. He is so fantastic. He is so that character already he is. I just

love him so much. It does strike me as terrifying how old people looked in the eighties for what age they were. He looks in his fifties and he's thirty two. You know, like this is it's wild. What smoking and just the food they ate. I don't know. I don't know why we all look so much better. We're gonna look sixty or do you think, yes, yeah, yeah, it's gonna be weird if still looking. They already do look so much. And I just think you just saw Elvis.

You were in an Elvis fan, you saw I loved Elvis. My I told my dad Mom last night, I wrote them and I go, hey, Elvis, I go see Elvis at the I go see it on Imax if you can. But I think it's already out of those theaters because it's just like I searched it. It's like Top Gun is still at the Imax. I'm like, Elvis came out sooner, please please, but it must not be making money as much as Top Gun still. But I think top going like pass a billion dollars or something like that. It's ridiculous,

so elvish. I went to go see it for a sneak preview that Chris got me tickets to because through his radio gig, and I fucking loved it. It was the top five favorite films. It was boss like. It reminded me. I haven't seen Gatsby, um Mulan Rouge or or any of the other bos Lerman films, but Romeo Juliette is my favorite. And it freaked me out at first when I watched it in eighth grade, I was just like, what the hell? But it is. He's so freaking good. I am on board with all of his

decisions as a director. To end, this movie is really long. It was two hours and forty minutes. I tried to get out and not get out of it, but I tried to, Like I wrote Chris, being like, this is long, like two hours and forty minutes running time. I have a we have to be up at five am the next day, like this movie is at seven, it's not gonna end til ten, Like just too long for move.

That's why I love Albert Brooks films, every single one of them, one hour, thirty one minutes, every single one of them brilliant, like we don't need more than that. But I'll tell you Elvis did not look at my phone until the two hour and five minute mark to be like, oh where are we at? And that is astonishing for me. I watch a two minute YouTube clip and I am constantly checking how much more I have to go on it. I need to see the little tally.

I can't stand Instagram reels because they don't give you a toggle to like go to the end. There's something so just I can't stand on TikTok when you can't search and like scooted ahead. I know you can if you don't know if it's longer than a minute, but even a minute I need to be then you also miss it sometimes and then you go too far or you started definitely very tiny. Um iPhone I message, get your fucking ship together. When you record a voice memo

on iPhone, I message talk about no toggling. I'm listening to a three minute message from a friend. If you if another text comes up or god forbid, you cant alert on another screen and you gotta start from the beginning. That's he And also they don't have fast forward. They don't let it. You do to one point five times of speed. Not you can't do two times of speed. You have to just wait and listen to your friend talk again, which I love to do. But What's App

is so superior. It's almost like their truck. I think they have money and What's App because why would your thing be so bad that you would that would be the only thing to do if they don't get it together, Please, someone explain to me why you think Apple wouldn't do this literally simplest thing. It cannot they can afford to have this kind of Can you go to the source and say, hey, shorter message next time? No, I mean that's what I do with all my friends on my message.

We all do we send them in one minute chunks. You shouldn't have to do that. Oh, I do five minute ones with my friends like we are doing podcasts all day. I don't know a thing. It's yeah, you can't talgle it. I'm not sitting through. I know it's terrible. That's how much I love my friends, but um yeah, that's what I'm doing all day long. Is it'd be funny if I was your friend and I leave you a for a minute, no tug, and then in the middle of it be like I sucked my own dick.

I sucked my own dick. I go through the whole thing. I hate when I've left twenty seconds without so what happened in the middle there? You know I would listen. This is the problem. I message that I will listen to the whole thing, because I just feel like if someone gives you the effort of writing a voice of memo, I have to get through it. But I message, get your ship together. But Elvis, anyway, it was so moving, so good. My dad I wrote to them last night

ago it's on me. I'm gonna take If you guys want to go see Elvis, let's go anytime you want. And my dad wrote, buck, let me just see what you wrote doing the show in Memphis. We gotta go to Graceland. I've been to Graceland, but I would go again. Graceland, Memphis, Tennessee. So here this is what I said. So how did Elphs not poop for a month and a half because because opio thinks about this opioid, So he just didn't. Yeah, and it just it just packs in your system. I

mean food. When you take the moisture out of food, Yeah, I know you think like, oh my god, I just ate all of that. How could that possibly be in my stomach that can pact? So No, when you when poop becomes, it's broken down by acid in your stomach, so it becomes, it gets dissolved a little bit, and it dehydrates. So when you eat a huge like months and months of food, it's not like this spread that you put down in your stomach. It's it's got done.

And that's why people, if you do hear about opioid schits, they're like botchy balls coming out of it, like just hard. Like really I'm trying to think about like a heavy ball, but like just yeah, like but a tiny eer bowling ball coming out of your ass. Yeah. Croquet croquette, I think it's croque. Okay, So I wrote to my dad and mom I would go to see Elvis with you guys if you wanted. My dad says, too bad. We're at the river. Had to move the boat for the brands.

Whatever that means. He said. I read in the New York Times that it totally sucked. They said it was more like a vampire movie. And I said, it's one of my top five favorite films, no joke. And my mom wrote, oh wow, then we'll have to see it. Um. And then she goes, uh oh. And then she asked me if I wanted to go to the baseball game tonight? Um? And I was like what? And my mom is, my mom is organized all of my family to the baseball game tonight because because of why. Um, here's what I said.

I said, yeah, tomorrow might work. Can you just get me a ticket and Chris one too? If I if we can't go, I'll pay for them. And she goes, okay, Matt is buying ours. I'll ask him five dollar ticket night, baby. So it's because there's a bargain. I knew there was something behind it. Why would my mom want us all to go to the ball game. It's because I got five dollar tickets. We're saving it. Then we gotta go. Even though she doesn't realize, like I could get us

free tickets with the simplest email. Yeah, but you know what, it makes you feel good to sit up in the nosebleeds. She's not even buying it. I mean you find on that and he's, well, then NAT bought them and textas that. My mom goes, I'm paying you back, and he's like, don't make me get into a fight about this, Like stop this. My mom is going considering going to Mexico to save two thousand dollars on getting her tooth removed, because in St. Louis it would be five thousand. In

New Mexico it's three thousand. So she's going to the beach And I said to her, playing a vacation around. No, she's not. It's not a vacation. They're going to someone that's not even fun. And my mom doesn't want to go, but my dad is like, Julie, she can do it. It's fine Mexican. Their friend went to someone. It's a common thing to go to Mexico for surgery. You know, No, I know you go to Turkey for hair transplants. I didn't hear about Mexico for teeth. Why do you know

about Turkey? Are you thinking about going I just like turkey. No you don't, yeah, but you sleep. It does sometimes. I got to go to bed. Let's go to break and talk more about this when we get back. Violent. No, No, this is could be well if you paying attention, put it together. Guys, what's it gonna be? We know what

you're doing. I'm not advocate. No, no, I mean give it to me for a couple of days, for three weeks, all right, we'll be very about Listen, I've heard that in Mexico you can't get good stuff done, and it's stated the line which is what phrase that my sister came up with in sixth grade, she was doing a fake commercial for her like a book report, and it was about like they had to do like a TV show or something, you know when kids have an assignment

like read this book and make it make commercials about what. I don't know, but she was selling dog sleds and it was it was where she read White Fang in sixth grade and her and her friend were like making this video presentation that they were going to show on Monday. And my sister is selling dog sleds and she goes stayed in the land dogs leads only Nona, and we were like, what the state of the line and we really just coldbine state of the art and top of

the line dogs les it could. Yeah, it's great. So state of the line dentistry is to be had, and like, it's not you're just going to Mexico and you're going in a yurt and they're just sawing off your fucking rusty blade. It's it's a real it's a good thing to do. My point is, Mom, let me give you two thousand dollars because I'm not trying to brag. Okay, well that's really nice of you, but a donkey and

a rope a burrow um. But I told her, I was like, can you just can I just pay for this to not so you don't have to go to Mexico for surgery. I just I know that it would be if they built a trip around it. Fine, but my mom doesn't want to go. She's like, your dad thinks I should do it. I don't know. Do you think she would have to wait until January to go

because they don't have to I'm in their schedule. Otherwise she could just go and St. Louis and have her rotting tea taken up tomorrow for extra But but my Dad's like, she can wait, and I'm just like and And the thing is, I don't care if she can have better, even if the procedure is the exact same as it would be in St. Louis the stress that it puts on my mom to travel abroad, to go to Mexico, to then be in a different foreign country when her tooth has been you know, there's healing that

needs to happen, that people around you need to take care of you. You You need to be in a place where it's like you feel safe. And I know my mom is gonna go on price line and get a fucking shitty hotel where you know will we won't even be able to find her. It won't have running water,

like I just know. My So I'm saying to my mom, let me pay two dozen dollars because on the back, this will save me money because the trauma and the stress of that Mexico trip and also putting off this tooth thing that might cause infection is going to cost me down the road more because you will die, you

will be injured. I'm going to cover the medical bills when they get above two thousand dollars probably, so can I avoid some of those by not having you stress out and go to Mexico for fucking dental work just so you can. It just makes me mad. And I said to her, this is why you should let me pay two thousand dollars, because first of all, I will never I won't remember it. I know that's a lot of money to me right now, it is not a lot of money. I just to be honest, it isn't.

And I'm not bragging. It just isn't. And I said to her, this is what daughters are for. This is what having a rich daughter is for like this, this is why I want to make money, is to do stuff like this. You have to let me. And she was like, and I go, I hope that if you had as much money as I had, and I have as much money as you had, and I had was going to go to Mexico to save two thousand dollars on a surgery, that you would do the same thing. No, No, you don't have to pay me back. Just give me

two thousand dollars. And the truth is, I don't think she would. It would be funny if she goes Yeah, I would. I would, but I love point would she take, Like, what if you offered to pay for the whole thing? I would, But she knows that she I want her to be able to pay for what she can afford. That she doesn't feel like I'm just it's a hand out because it's not. It's just it sucks. Well, why doesn't cover? Does not have dental insurance? She does, but

it doesn't cover the full thing. I mean, you want to get into the healthcare of this. I mean I had a by filling yesterday Bucks. I was like so excited, thirty eight bucks. It's like, whoa, it worked. Candy, You're trying more. I love the idea of you as a kid. You were talking about it yesterday, eating candy to get to the drug. That's the only way I'm going to get like seven thou pounds when you're like, I never

been happy. No teeth just rotting. Just suck it on that nitris man, I mean, nitros is what they suck out of balloons, right when people do whippets. Done it? No, but that's what it is. No, because I always heard that you could die the first time you do it something. That's why I've ever done it right. I'm afraid of dying, honey, And look how smart I am. Huh, you're afraid of I'm Did you ever hear that you could die the

first time? I mean that's why I don't if I that used to be a rumor about pot the first time you do that coke like, and now that's true because the fence and all being but um, but that really cut me off drugs. The first time there was a basketball player, um fuck starts with the nail funk. I can't remember ry now he's still alive, but I

think he's probably done some coke with some bud. So this guy did coke one one, that's the thing they always say the first time, and he died, Yeah, and uh, he was going to be like the best player ever, And so people talk about his story die from like overdosing on coke. He probably already had a preaky I had a bite. Died from heroin and they claimed it was the first time. I was like, you don't really do heroin the first, like, you don't shoot up heroin.

I don't know how he ingested it, but I don't know. I was listening to I was just kind of remembering Harris Whittles, who is my friend who passed from heroin and like hearing about just reading about because he did. Ah, you made it weird with Pete Holmes episode right when he got out of rehab, like the third time, I think, and he said on that like if I do it again,

I will die, Like I will definitely die. And and so I was wanting to find the transcript of it because I just wanted to like hear his story again and kind of remember it. And the thing that people just don't understand about heroin is that these people get prescribed these pills for pain, and then the pills, they become addicted to the pills and they're not like it's not because they wanted to be. They just get sucked

into it. And then it becomes even for Harris Whittles, who as a producer on Parks and Rack and ep on Parks and Wreck, a writer on Parks and Wreck um very successful writing movie is so successful rich, it was draining him of money to keep up this pill habit. So then eventually, yeah, like opioids, and it was so expensive that and it starts to be you need more and more and more to get that feeling. And it's the same drug as heroin, Like it's an opioid, and

so shooting up becomes just a no brainer. It's so much cheaper, so much cheaper easier to get probably in some circumstances if you're living. He used to go to skid Row to get it in l A. He drive over from his like million dollar home to skid Row and he died shooting up. But I think people just think of people that shoot up as like the dregs of society. But no one wants to put a needle in their arm and heats. It's because it becomes cost a ficial effective to do that, and it gives you

a high faster. It's like, I just, Um, it was just really interesting to read again in that book Coming Alive, that we're all kind of sort of reading UM. The offense to every Night there said something very interesting. He said, Um, addiction is when you feel. Um is when a person chases this feeling that they got once and they're just constantly chasing it but never achieving it again. Yes, I read that actually yesterday. And something else that addiction is feel.

It was it was chasing feeling good, but feeling worse chasing. Yeah, like that addiction is defined that that you use a thing too because you want to feel good, but it just makes you feel worse. And and the thing is you would go, well, then why would you keep doing that if it makes you feel worse? And it's like because constantly chasing that good because there is a chance

to do enough to get that feeling of there. And I want to say that I don't really relate to all of that because for me, addiction it does feel good, Like I don't feel you feel worse on the back end, but at first you do feel better. I'm sorry, Like I do feel if I shot up heroin right now,

I would feel fucking great. I really would first time. No, but even people that I've watched Intervention the other night and this woman that was shooting up heroin are smoking crack every single time, you'd be like, so, it does feel good. I think people just think that it's all just like hell after you're addicted. People that don't understand addiction just don't seem to like grasp why someone is.

I just don't understand how people can be mad at drug addicts or kind of confused by them with I know that you might not be a drug addict, but you can look at someone on the sidewalk, like, how can they be passed out in their own filth, you know, dirty sandals. I was picture you know, dirty sand and just like passed out from crack or shooting up needles in their arm? How why would you do that? Who would ever want to do that? Do you think that

person had a choice? Like you really think someone has a choice of whether or not to do drugs? You're such an idiot and you have no compassion, because why would you ever? No one would choose that. So much of it starts, and this happened with me. I remember I had uh like a root canal, right or like nothing that should have got more than five pain pills. The ladies the dentists gave me forty oxy codein's and then I'm like, I take like two. Next thing, you know,

I'm going out. My tooth doesn't hurt anymore. I don't even know I have teeth. And next thing I know, I'm I'm eating like five or six and then not I'm like, I'm just eating. I'm just taking these. I'm not drinking, so I'm just taking and the next thing you know, you're like, Okay, I'll just take them during the day just to like trying, and you see how easily. And I think that's what happens. I think people get too Oh yeah, I can't go back. What am I

gonna Maybe if I hurt another tooth? Oh dude, if I had to drive thirty minutes, I do it for golf. I guess, yeah, that's true. I literally spend thousands of dollars on gas to just get to a driving range, to get upset, to get upset. You don't feel how much? How do you how much? Maybe this is an addiction, because do you feel? What is the percentage you leave the golf course? Because we're not talking about that being at the golf course, because you're gonna have that dopamine.

I was reading all about addiction last night. Dopamine is the feeling that you get before you get the opioid. So opioids go off in your brain, when you have an orgasm, when you take the hit, when you eat a piece of pizza and you're really hungry. Dopamine is the feeling, is the chemical that is released on the way to that feeling. So there's no dopamine being released, and opioids always lead to a crash a second you you, the first bite of pizza is going to be the

epitome of your enjoyment. It only ramps up to that with like I'm so hungry. Oh my god, I just ordered it, so hungry. Oh my gosh it stuff's coming out of the kitchen. Oh it's not mine yet. Oh I'm so excited. Oh I can smell it. Oh my gosh, it's coming to the table. Oh my god, it's landed on the table. Oh my god. First bite, and then from then on, second bite, third bite down, then all than the opioid hits than the dopamine plummets after that.

And so I'm wondering when you go to the golf course, driving there, it's exciting getting on the course, like all the opportunity, like the the excitement of like what could be, and the novelty of a new place or whatever. How often leaving a golf course do you feel great better than when you left, better than when you arrived? Be honest, no, no, no, of course I'll be honest. I I just it all.

There's a lot of variables. It's one thing if you're just well, if we're going by, but there's a difference. And if I go to a range right that I've never been to and everything's new, Okay, No, I'm saying that most time I'm going to a range, so I'm not going to feel if it's a new rain. Anything new feels good. A new golf course, but even an old one you're going and you're excited, appreciates the happiness. Depreciate because you keep playing the same hole and it's

you could play. Even if you play better, it doesn't feel as good. Okay. So if we're going by, I just new courses first time, all of those, the how you feel going in? How often are you leaving them feeling as good or better than when you came in? I mean, again, it depends how I play, I mean, but let's just say how often I would say, so when I shot the seventy six, I felt fantastic. How often does that a new course? Probably once every like seven times I play? Okay, let's maybe actually maybe one

every twenty. But but I practice more than I play, right, you understand, So if practice the the end. So when you first start practicing golf again, it feels good every time you go to the range because you fucking you're learning something new skill, you're hitting the ball in extra twenty yards, you're hitting it straighter. But now I'm at the point where literally I'm so consistent that you don't see a big wins. Well that's how I feel about

stand up. But the big wins you see though, when you fucking have the special and you fucking realize that word don't feel it. But but I'm just saying I'm trying to compare it. So like when if I take my shirt off on stage and I do something new, that's when I field. That's when I go, oh my god,

that was amazing, like what the fund just happened? And I leave the stage feeling the same way I felt after the first time I did stand up, Like if I bring a new element to it, or if I play music on stage instead of doing stand up, like but doing stand up, I just cannot get that dope. It will never hit the way it did the first time ever again. And maybe that makes people just want

to come to me. That's what mean what I was referring to, Like that feeling, just like addicts constantly chase it, and you know it leads to overdosing and all that stuff. That's what I mean. You're chasing the dret You're chasing that initial feeling that was like, oh my god. But did it feel good to do like the Drake stuff the other night, or like doing new stuff like that. That's that's fun and that gives me a thrillers. Like, no,

I'm not saying it's a negative thing. I think that anything like the thing about the first day on a new job that you or when you get a job, like people forget sometimes addicted to gambling because I won the first time I played. Yes, And then I want to about a PlayStation. I bought a couch, and I'm like,

this is going to keep happening. Think about any times you've gotten a call for like a gig or a job, or you get a job that you know interview for and you work, or you get accepted to some kind of program in school and you like you celebrate with your family, your family literally like we'll take you out to dinner to celebrate, and then the job it's and it's the it's the source of all of your misery and this thing that you wanted to remember. Sat down with my dad one time and he's like, it wasn't

about stand up, was about like copyrighting. He's like, you know, a job is just gonna any job is gonna just feel like a job eventually. And I was like, well, that's so that's sad. Though, Yeah, that's fucking sad, but it's true. But it's sad, it's but that's life. I mean, anyone, anyone you date that you're so excited about, you're never going to have that initial like uh, limerence, which is what it's called when you are just like so in love with each other and just like everything you do

is adorable. You will never get that back ever with that person. And you can tell me, oh, no, we did well, maybe did you have an amnesia or did the person have like like you might get it back if there was like a near death thing and you have like oh, or you break up and you reunite, but you will never have that initial thing again. And that is what I struggle with in relationships, is that you will never have that first high, which is literally

the best part of falling in love. And I know people go, no, it's the deep love that the support you get, the probably do feel it. I get it, but I don't know what that is, but that's what you don't. But it is a thing that I think. It's an excuse people give for like giving up something that they actually do want. Um. But maybe I'm wrong. All right, let's get to the news. It's the same thing as when people go, you know, you know what

I mean. Sorry, and maybe I'm wrong here, But when women age and they go, I actually like being older more. It's like, do you if you could snap your fingers, would you not want to have tighter, younger skin. Of course you would, or maybe not. Maybe they're maybe like the freedom of being invisible to the world now. But I just think that we convince ourselves we like our situation, which is good. We should because you can't go back in time. You can't get that limber inspect so you

have to accept it. But I think that I'm how happy were you when your body was tight? That's what I'm saying, Like there's always that I understand that, but I'm just saying when people go, you know, it's actually my life is I'm glad that that happened. Like I'm glad, And I'm someone who always says like everything happens for a reason. But am I Some people go, you know what, that car accident? I really needed to wake up. And it's like, would in another way have been cool too?

Did you really love that? But I feel have a great like news story please, which kind of has to do with this, which is very funny. But yesterday Anya texted us about I don't know you you have texted Anya and I about oxytocin. And then I went, like, I started googling and stuff, and I found this article that I think you're gonna love. It's a little bit old news, but it's new to me. So as long as it's real news and not fake Yeah, no, no,

it's it's it's based on a real study. So while studying cheating, scientists are surprised to discover how oxytocin appears to boost men's attraction to their mate, even when presented with pictures of other women. M hmm, okay, so it's explain this, okay, So, um, you want to hear a little bit about what they were doing in the study, or what I'm cleaning from this is that they took men who were in relationships, and when they tested the men with higher levels of oxytocin when asked about how

much they love the person there with. That love was substantially more um when shown pictures of other women even and it's not about whether women like other women's pictures make them love their women more. Okay, Under the influence of oxytocin, two areas of the brain responsible feelings of reward and pleasure lit up when men saw their partners faces, but the sight of other women had the opposite effects, suppressing feelings of pleasure. Oh. Interesting is that no connected?

So anagamous love as time goes on and couples become less intimate. Uh, The scientists whatever uh said that linkage can decay because of that, but activities that release oxytocin, such as really looking into another person's eyes, holding hands, kissing, and having sex may help restore the connection. Yeah, so it sounds like um. Oxytocin is released when you do

loving safe uh, intimate things. And so if you and when you have a lot of oxytocin going off in your brain that comes from those things, that you will have a you won't be feel more connected and more desirable of your partner, no matter how long you've been with them. So what it tells us is that we need to keep those things up of like deep eye contact, like cuddling, touching, all those things to sustain to prevent

us from being attracted to other people. Because if the actually it's hie from those things, you won't be attracted. It doesn't have to be only in that moment, right, we're not sustained. You so has like a you know, I'm sure you've done this with Chris or whatever, where I'll go maybe a few weeks without you do take your partner for granted, for like how gorgeous they are, like how how much they make you feel happy, Like you don't take it in, Like a lot of times

I don't take it in. And at times I'll just stop and like really like like this is my person and those are like loving deep love winds because you go, you could go. I could go a couple of weeks with my A D D brain and not really like take her in, you know what I mean? So like you're almost recreating that feeling in your raine of like the first time seeing them. I don't know, it's a weird little win I I I feel I feel that, yes, yeah, that you I think everyone relates to that. But I

think that it's distance. It's like not you're not touching them enough, You're not like stopping to actually look at them. Like all you need to do is figure out time to just stop and look where It's like I can't do that because I'm on the road for fucking fourteen days and I can't look at the person, I can't

touch the person. And so I always find my relationship HiT's like really rocky territory whenever I've been gone too long, because there's not that there's not handholding, there's not touching, there's not eye contact, there's not all those things, and it's like it's like first because we're usually broken by the end of it, and so we when we see each other it's you know, in the waiting room of our our couple's counselor, and it's like awkward because at

the end of a trip along trip like it's it's gone from being like, oh I miss you, so watch very good and at the end of fourteen day trip you're coming out of it and you're used, there's some conflict that hasn't been appropriately addressed on both sides, and then it's just it's fraid because you you don't even you can't even picture the person, you can't smell the person, you can't So it's just like I don't even care about working it out with this person because I'm not

connected to them in any way. They're literally a stranger to me because their body chemistry is so the other night, I like had Chris's shirt and I was just smelling it because I haven't seen him forever. So I was just trying to remember, like get those oxytocin and chemicals so that my brain would remember I love this person, I'm connected to this person, like I would do anything

to work out at a difference with this person. And I think that that's when like little arguments can just turn into like, well then we shouldn't be together because you forget how bonded you are because you don't have that. I wonder if it's good won or not good or bad. But to go from like fourteen days off and then the first time is couples counts like it seems like another not extreme, but like it's not like we planned

it that way. It's like we don't have time in our lives to fit in a couple's counseling except one when we're both not working. I mean you trying to be with someone who has our work hours from four thirty am until eleven am, and then you have to work from eleven am until six pm. So it's and then that person has to go to bed because if they get up at four, So it's hard. It's really hard.

I think that. But it's so true that it's touch, eye contact and love making that that make you have those that's the that feeling in your brain, that fuzzy feeling that makes you go like I love them, and just sharing emotionally sharing, even like someone being like I don't know. Whenever I hear my partner be like you know, like I love you and or like I it really feels good to hear that, like talking about his feelings. I am like any issue I have with our relationship

literally evaporates, like it like it can be. I can be like in a swarm of mosquitoes of like things I'm annoyed at, and they will all be completely zapped and fall to the the floor dead the second he goes I'm feeling really I feel really good about what we've talked about, or like just says some feelings I don't know why it's so erotic to me, or it's so soothing to me, it's so like reassuring to me. It just makes me feel like I could put up with anything.

But I know that's I mean, that's the double yed sword, though, is like is it is it a drug? Is it just an am I just like la la la la la? Like am I googly heart? At least have half the mosquitoes still around? Right? No? They go for me. It's all the mosquitoes. I am so black and white. It sucks because it's so polar. It's like a sense of um approval that whatever it was that you discussed or worked on was the right way to go. And then like,

you know, he's definitely on the same page as you. Yeah, I think it's like an understanding or just like I just want someone to when I feel like my feelings have been addressed and like that I'm not crazy for my feelings and that you know, I get him to a place of understanding that I'm not trying to be mean, I'm not trying to be evasive, I'm not trying to lie.

I'm just like I'm feeling anxious or I'm feeling scared, or like if he knows the root of it, which isn't this nefarious route, Because I think a lot of times in relationships, not just mine, you get into fights where someone thinks the other person is like trying to dodge or like avoid, or like trick the other person or deceive for my own well being, when really, anytime I am ever being a little bit um obtuse or like a little bit avoidance, it's because I'm doing it

for not just for me. I mean it is for me, but it's because I want that person to love me. I'm trying to avoid that person hating me. And it's it's like, you know, it's kind of like pat Riso Neil's bit of like we cheat for you, wait for you. Like I'm not saying like, oh I get to lie and be to sea because I'm I'm trying to keep you.

But I do feel like there's sometimes in my relationship or even in hearing my friends relationships, where I'm like, the thing he's getting mad at you about or the thing you're mad at him about, don't you realize he's only doing that because he wants to stay with you, like he's trying. Does that make any sense to you guys like they're doing that thing not to hurt you.

They're doing it there like, I'm not telling you the truth about this thing because I think that if you find out, you'll hate me forever and not want to be with me. When I know the thing that I might be lying about or evading the truth about isn't really a deal breaker and shouldn't be a reason you hate me. If I'm cheating on you, yeah, I feel like you should probably find that out and leave me.

But if something, if I'm not telling you something that I think you'll just be so disgusted by or so just like kind of gross out by, and maybe I'm gross out about it by myself too, I'm doing it because I don't think it's something that you need to know about, and it your response, I don't trust your response because I don't trust obviously, and I might have feelings that I'm inherently unlovable, and I think that that detail might bring out your disgust with me in a

way that you'll reject me. But I'm doing it because I want you to love me, and like, so if you're worried that I'm trying to get away from you or like do or hurt you. It's actually the opposite. My only concern would be if I was doing something to get someone else to love me, right, but it wasn't being true to whatever I thought I was. Then I feel like over time I'm hurting myself and has

nothing to even do it. Well, that's without saying I feel like that's I mean obviously, yeah, I mean, I'm saying I'm not talking about excuse the person who's lying to you or evading things and let them do that. Just start from a place of of course they shouldn't be doing this. Let's get to a place where we can totally be honest with one another and transparent and

no one gets hurt. But acknowledge that the root of this is this person being scared that you'll leave them and that they'll lose you, and if you can, it's not good that they're doing it. Yes, we need to get at the we need to stop doing this. I don't want to be someone who has to, like you know, of avoid certain truths about myself. But if I do it and I get caught, know that I'm trying in my own way to figure out a way to do it.

So I'm just trying to keep you. It's it's my it's my weakest self, giving into my fears of abandonment. So yes, it is not a good thing to do. I don't want to be someone who is pretending to be a different version of someone so that I can keep a guy. I would love to be myself, Like that's my goal in every aspect of my life. For me, in relationships, it's really really difficult because I think I'm gross, I'm too masculine. I have really really weird anxieties that

make people uh their lives feel burdened by them. I have my whole life like everything I'm scared of or everything that I'm like anxious about takes the fun out of things. For Okay, so everyone can't go and roller coaster because Nikki doesn't want to go on it. Okay, well, I guess we can't go to that thing because Nicki scared of fireworks. Oh we can't do that because Nicki's scared of the highway. Now we all have to like

tend to her needs and it's so annoying. It's never met with like, what's going on here, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way or that you have to you have to act this irrational way because you're in pain. It's it's never that, it's like, why are you doing this? Why are you trying to ruin our time? Why are you lying to me? It's never why wait, why are you doing this? Like? Can I understand? Like? Are you

in pain? What are you avoiding? Like? Do you not think I won't love you on the other side of this, because I do love you. I want to make you feel safe. It's always just like, why did you do that? You're a bad person, You're an anxious person. You need to make everything about you. Oh, Nikki scared of air shows, so the whole family can't go to air shows. How about I'm scared of air shows, so maybe tell me some facts about air shows to make my irrational fears

a little better. Why don't we go through the facts about That's like the bus incident, Yester, you know this weekend, so scared of writing in those fucking busses and I was going to cancel it, and then Kristen goes, why don't you have Jen my assistant, ask about the schedule of the busses, and like, you know, the protocol for the bus drivers and then all of a sudden, I was like, wait, you can do that, and it was like information sets me free, or like compassion or someone

just being like, oh I have I have irrational fears about this other thing. Let's talk about it as opposed to Nikki is weird, because not only do I feel weird, but I I think I grew up as a child just feeling like all of my fears. People thought I was trying to get attention, which maybe I was subconsciously.

I didn't think I was, or that I was trying to be the center of attention, which, let me tell you, maybe that's a little bit of my goal now because I'm a comedian and trying to you know, a famous person, so obviously that's a goal. When I was a kid, I did not want I hated that I went the bed and that I was scared of IMAX movies and I was scared of movies and like I was scared of ghosts, had to sleep on those are all embarrassing. I wasn't like I can't wait to be like I'm

not a one of these girls. It's like I hate the word moist. That's my personality. I wish I wasn't like anxious and scared. I hate these things about myself. So when so I think I still struggle with when

I have anxieties. I think sometimes or things when you have anxieties trying to think how to phrase like you put on a front that like I don't give a fuck when you might give all the fox, and I think, like as a friend of yours, like sometimes I don't really know that it's coming from a place of fear or like why you're acting in a certain way, So like I don't really because it doesn't feel vote like for you know, like I don't know there could be I can't think of an example right now, but like

just like a little thing where like instead of like you being like, well, I'm actually just afraid of it, it's it's more like it stronger, So like I don't know exactly something, but that's what I'm saying. That's exactly what I'm saying. Is like when when I do react in a way that like maybe I lash out at someone or something, and yeah, that's it's inexcusable. I definitely deserved to give an apology to whoever I'm doing that too.

But when people lash out or when people scream or like even hit someone, you have to understand that that is coming from a place of intense fear, and you, like I even sometimes you need to try. Everyone needs to try to try to That's what I do. Try to do it. I apologize that I go to therapy, I meditate, I read books like That's the thing when people go, well, Nikki, this just gives you an excuse to just be a bit all the time because you're you. Oh, you had fears as a child, and you weren't you

weren't cared for enough as a child. That just gives you an excuse to be a terrible adult, a drug addict, anything you want, because you go, my child and I didn't get enough love. I have anxieties. It's not an excuse. All I'm asking for and if I'm able to even acknowledge that, that means I'm doing work that I'm trying and I can't fix it overnight. And I'm not asking for everyone to forgive me whenever I transgress or whenever I lash out in a way that you know I

I don't have a plan. I'm trying my best. It's just and even if I'm not trying my best. There's also probably a reason for that, like not everyone can go to therapy, not everyone can meditate, Like there are things that people can't do. I just I wish I need to do it myself. I want everyone to have more compassion for everyone. Even before when I said you were an idiot that you don't understand addicts, if you're some someone who doesn't understand addicts and has no compassion

for them, I actually don't think you're an idiot. I feel sorry that I'm not feel sorry for you, but I understand that you have you were raised, and you have a brain that's different, that doesn't maybe have as much empathy as another person, which is something you can learn because I had to learn empathy, so I have empathy even for you, so you can extend it to anyone.

I just wish I would get it a little bit more often in my life because I think that, Um, I just I'm just like realizing I I at my core, I feel like I'm a bad person. I feel like I'm self serving. I feel like I'm a narcissist. I feel like everyone things like oh, Nikki just makes up things so she can get attention, and because she's being a widow baby. And the truth is, even if I am doing that, which I truly do not think I am on any level, that's the sad thing to do.

And someone should feel sorry for me that I do that. Like when girls are like, even girls are like, I hate moist, don't say it. That girl is I know it's annoying, but she just wants attention. This poor girl. How sad is it that that's how someone is going about getting love that they don't like the word moist? Like, even that is sad. You gotta go to and we're back. We're back. It's time for Wednesday's wild Card segment. Um, it is time for Andrews Sink Short Story Circles segment.

You know, I really can bring it together when I want. You know, it was how many takes to that take? I think that was two? Yeah, it's pretty quick. It was quick when I turned. It's funny because the thing we wanted you to do, which was like have a lisp and kind of slur it, that's usually the thing that you would make you do another take, So it makes sense we asked you to fuck it off. I mean yeah, I mean it's I didn't have to get

method for that. You know it's already there on the surface. Um, okay, So what's today's story and why Well we were talking yesterday. I think we never got to the dentist thing that but you said that you had. You were like, oh, I have a dentist story, and you said, we don't have time. And then Noah was like, oh tomorrow, let's do this. When you're poor in New York and you're picking up dogship for a living, and you have a no dental insurance and you have a tooth problem and

you can't get to Mexico. You can't even find Little Mexico in New York. You can't even get there. Where would that be south? So so I was fucked. I was like, I went to a dentist. They're like, I had a root. Now that the route whatever came out. So there was a hole in my teeth that came out. Oh my god, So you could get so that the cap came off. The cap came off an old do you know that you're route that the cap is just covering a giant hole. You could then get to the nerve.

So then everything the nerve's gone on a root canal. Buddy, Okay, so maybe this was, but it could cause infection of just like food packing up in there, trying to think what exactly because the root canal I do believe takes out them. It does. But for some reason I was having a ton of pain. Maybe it was another nerve, however, was I was in a ship ton of pain? It was like you doing O oragel? Thank thank God for ambasol and oragel. Can I just say someone who went

braces and who also I know it? Probably? Oh it's good for two seconds. It's like juicy fruit. I put so much of that in the You know what I would do? That was really disgusting. Wait, I could probably guess. Can you give me some clues. Well, let's say I had a hole in my mouth stuff it with um. Okay, let's say it was stuff with food. What would I used to take that food out? A key, A straw, I wish a straw, toothpick, A toothpick, that's a normal thing. What do you think Andrew did a piece just a

lamb in it? Like Bill would know? People, I just ran off the road. No, it's okay, listen, think about how dirty of course, because your brain why would you I've done disgusting stuff. I will not I will know it's bad. It's you always a dollar, and that would be weird if you got it out with your um

you can scoffle you want to. Andrew's struggle here. But when you're depressed and like you do not care about self care, especially when you have a tooth pain, that pain is so gnawing that you don't even have the wherewithal to be like this could be dirty. He just wanted out it's dirty. Two um so minutes. It was one year for each tooth minus seven um so. I went so my cousin Neil. He's a dentist. Oh my god,

well i'll tell you after the show. But so he he's a dentist, but he's not like a third like I needed an oral surgeon for this. He's like, I could do it for like a hundred hundred bucks. So I go to my cousin Neils and I'm like, okay, well, I'm sure I'll have some of the materials. I'm like, dude, this motherfucker took my twoth he had to take out, so they're still part of your tooth in there, but it is that's a Mohler Like that's like you can't

like just get it. This motherfucker. I can't even explain to you. He numbs it up. So he gives you the local does give me. Yeah, He's like you just take a little were jealous, that's all you got. It's like he's like bite on this spoon essentially, and he's fucking using I don't even know what instrument it is, just like like a fucking yeah yeah, he's a dentist. And he's like he's using like a wrench like an old school like like a thing to get horseshoes off.

And he's just like fucking like, I'm telling you, I'm not I'm not exaggerating. He's putting some forty minutes into it. He's great. He's sweating, and I'm in like his office, which feels like yeah yeah yeah without yeah. So so he's like feed me, see mall and he's sucking, grinding, like I'm telling you like that, you know I'm pressure and um, but I'm telling me, is he playing You're a crazy bit butcher? Fuck I'm rock hard. It's pretty cool. And so like I got another fucking canal. You can

take stuff. And so anyway, So he's fucking grinding and he finally like, I'm telling I figured in this attic the Dennis also has soft rock playing like Michael that Michael McDonald dot dot. He's like, so, how's your mother? He's doing all right. I'm like, dude, just get my He puts the TV on in the corner. Just let me show you some old photos of your of your

O'donald show is playing. That's always what was playing. Okay, going, we used to play baseball and flushing at that park and yeah, and so he finally gets it out and like it was insane. I left there like feeling like I was abused for like a like like a like a like water boarded but some kind of Yeah. And I left there and I was like, this is why poverty, Like it really hit me, like if you don't have money, like that's the surface. Yeah. And I love him and

he's a good dentist. You should go to him as a dentist. As an oral having to do this which is outside like this, he's my cousin. Oh, it's your cousin. God. It sounds like a scene from the Nick. Yeah, it sounds terrible. I mean, can you imagine they used to do surgeries with no an I mean a childbirth, even with no like just in every movie it's like, here's so simple whiskey. You bite on this fucking belt or

spoon and we're gonna cut your leg off. And my mom always braggs that she didn't have This is a joke from my act from a while ago. But my mom, it's true. My mom had natural child Yea, my mom um said that when my mom always likes to bragg that whendn't she give birth to me and my sister that, um, she didn't know drugs, didn't use any drugs. What's the punch line? She drank alcohol, no drugs, didn't take any drugs. Uh no. But during my conception I needed drugs, needed

all of them. But when I was to see she was fucked up, she had a spinal tap. Final thought, I wanted to say, it reminded me when you're saying that when they were giving me the novocaine yesterday to shoot into my like when they do, they go, it's gonna be a little pinch, you know, when they shoot it all in there to numb it up. He gave me a he tried, he did a vibrator. He was like, and I'm gonna vibrate and use this vibrator he said, vibrator, which I was just like that word, like you just

like don't ye sax rock hard cock. But it is good because they used to do that at my arm for pain. If you distract the body by like what you do with your yes, it's distracting the pain. Like when I used to get Brazilian waxes. I used to go to this Indian threading place. I wasn't It was a wax for your pussy, but threading for your eyebrows. And in the back room they did waxes and this sweet woman used to when she would be she would rip it off and then she would just like this

on my thigh like rub it. Yeah, she would uh wipe on white boff just really fast, and it was just like it would feel so nurturing and like nice that there was like some other like feeling happening. So did he vibrate wild? He was distracted? He was, you let me know if it helps, and I was like, I can't really tell because I didn't have it without it, but yeah, I mean, it's just the more stuff going on. The less you're gonna focus on. That's when you have

a vibrator when you're having sex. Do you feel the penis less? Yes, because it would be more stimulation, you know, so like you you have, but it all together feels. Yeah. So like if you're doing a pie chart and you're only having your clip rub, the whole thing is going to be clip and maybe like a little bit will be like whatever noises you're hearing. Another thing will be like the pressure of his body on you. And then

you add another stimulus. It's going to take up more of the pie chart, but you're not going to feel that part of the pie as much if it was the whole pie. Yes, yes, the whole pie would be like all all of the fields. And then um yeah. And then there was another thing you said that reminded me of something else. Fucking vibrator teeth, novacane no vacane um yeah, just opioids, Um yeah, we got we were talking.

It was interesting for me to learn the difference between dopamine and then opioids and having like dopamine is yes, the pleasure leading up to it, which I've always thought about that when you get a notification, they always say that's a shot of dopamine, that's opioid. Yeah, or it would be maybe it could be like the I mean, I'm sure it's a mixture of both, but it's two

different chemicals. And the dopamine is really like the anticipation, the like, like what the excitement when you're when you're feeling excited about something, and then the dopamine and then the opioid is the rush of like ah, fought like relief that that that anticipation is finally and then after

that dopamine. So the dopamine is when you post, when you're about to post something and you're getting your post ready, and the opioid is like the first of like thirty six likes within a second, and you're like, Okay, this is gonna be it. But it's psychology and instagram Instagram terms. Oh my god, I mean it's it's so that one book that I read at the beginning of the pandemic

that was called um It was like about addiction. Joe Rogan had posted on his thing and I just downloaded immediately, but it was about phone addiction and technology addiction, and boy do they have it. I mean, we already know this from watching that one documentary on Netflix that they did. Yeah, the documentary, the Albert Brooks documentary. He's all that on Netflix. No, it's um the social thank you about how these people

they've hired people who work in casinos to figure out that. Like, that's what candy Crush is addictive because when the way the star lights up, the way the sound, the way the star will everything, it's and that's why wort All was so cool because he did not want to make it addictive. He wanted, well, that's why because people have a normal relationship with it. And candy Crush is all about money. I mean, I'm sorry these I'm really disgusted by consumerism and capitalism at this point in my life.

I just think everything is about how much money you can make. Like, oh, Wendy Williams, I just saw this headline. Her show got canceled because she wasn't showing up puting into podcasting, and now she's going into she's getting a show. It's serious. And her her line, which maybe she said more stuff so I don't want to, you know, take it totally out of context. But I think she's someone who represents just do whatever you can to get more money,

say whatever you want to get more money. If you know, bad press is good press, doesn't matter who you hurt, what you say. She's not the one who really thinks before she talks. I definitely have that in my system too. But she said her response was, which is such a trumpion, Like, just don't worry anything that's rejected me, anything that's failed, it's it's good. I didn't even want it anyway, or it was a lie, you know, like anything no defeat,

there's never You've never made a mistake in your life. Literally, can you please, can anyone give me an example? I would love one of Donald Trump admitting that's somewhere he has made a mistake, that he has been fallible, even in the slightest ever. If you would send me an example, I would really love it, and it would give me some compassion for him. But Wendy Williams said, I, um, you know, uh going to serious? Um? Actually this is a pretty good Wendy Williams And I don't know where

I'm going to serious. And I just want to say that I am making more money than I would ever make doing that TV show, So it's good. Like it was just about money, It's like what happened to I don't know. I liked having a TV show, all the people that worked on it with me. I'm sad to see it go. Man, this sucks from what I read, from what I read about this story, because I was thinking about doing it for news. For um, why do

I care? She did say that podcasting is more simpler than TV, and she was like, over, I like that that whole production, But I just hate this thing of like, oh, it doesn't matter, I'm going to make more money there anyway, Like since what so then why don't you just marry the richest guy and not even care about love or whatever? Like why do was it? Everything just motivated by oh, well,

I'm making more money, so it doesn't even matter. I can just you know, my whole family died in that house fire, but you know what they cost money, So I'm going to make more money now in the future, like my next house is gonna be That's how people. That's how much insurance money I got. Yeah, okay on psychiatrist call. But it just reminds me of clicks. And And there was this person that went against Dave Portnoy from barstool, and she actually had some really valid points,

but really went after like the strong headline. And when he interviewed her, she was just hon and she goes, look, I just knew would get a lot of clicks. And he had no defense because she was just so honest, Like this is it. This is the old we live in. But that's the problem that everything that's about clicks, and then you get treated better and more clicks you get. It's not about how good the substance is. No, and that's what all people care about because clicks equal money.

But like, start paying attention to what people, the decisions people make, what they do. I just want to say one less thing because I'm actually I have time to do it. No. Um uh, last night I got so I came across I was watching Our Books movie and I was on my computer and I saw um Daily Mail like buried deep down, which is I barely read the Daily Man because it's so right wing leaning that it grosses me out. But they do have the best paparazzi shots and stuff. But there was this article that

said UM, and I sent it to him. Let me just send show this picture. Hold on, I just want to talk about this um really quickly. Um So yeah, a double final thought. Um I sent him a thing. It said, whopper of a donation. David Spade gives five thousand dollars to underappreciated Burger King employe who has never missed a day's work, but was rewarded with a Measley can measly candy goodie bag. On his twenty seventh year anniversary, David Spade surprised a hard working Burger King employee with

five thousand dollars. Um Spade sent forward a sweet direct message via Instagram that read keep up the good work twenty seven years. In response, according to a screenshot of their exchange obtained by TMZ, he replied, holy shit, dude, three shocked face emojis. The fast food worker also expressed he couldn't believe Spade's kindness and was looking forward to using some of his paid time off. Um Ford went viral earlier this week, so he posted this video about

like I've worked for for twenty seven years. They I've never missed a day and this is what I get for like my anniversary, like this goodie bag. And so Spade saw this and not to get any press, like really, I know that you might roll your eyes at that not you, but like the listener. And so I wrote to him and I go, this was really fucking cool because it was buried. It wasn't like this wasn't top headline nose. No, you probably saw it did have it in because the guy screenshot at it and then put

it on. So he originally tiktoked about being Yeah, he took talked it. Also should add that he had he has a go fund me that raised a lot of money from from people who saw his story, aside from from David Spade. Yes that he's putting to his grandchild's college tuition. Um uh my point I was supposed to. I really sucked up anyway, so I can probably get on the last half hour. Um, but I wanted to

say that. I wrote to Spade and I said, you know, this is so cool and he was like, yeah, that's why I do it, you know, so it'll get out, And he was like, no, it's I go, it's really cool because it's an amount of money that can change that person's life, Like five thousand dollars is a fun ton of money, not just I mean to anyone, but especially to someone who's a minimum wage. I don't want to say minimum, he's probably had a little bit of

a raise in twenty seven years, but maybe not. But anyway, um Spade wrote back and was like, we just got into this exchange about um how much money he's given over He's like, listen, he goes, it is You're like, he goes, You're right, because this feels so much better to give this because of all the clicks, No, but because it is actually I see where, I see where it's going. I see how great it's making this guy's life,

how how appreciated it is. How he's like, I've donated this amount of money to the Red Cross for the hurricanes, this amount of money for the Red Cross for the earthquakes, this amount of money to you know, California firefighters for the fires, this amount like it was so much money. Like I just have to say, he's one of the most generous people celebrities I have ever heard of. He has never once told me about any of the stuff. There's no data about him donating all this. It's not,

you know, just for tax write of purposes. He has donated so much. But he's right, Like, when I donate a big amount to somewhere, I'm like, it's probably just going to buy paper cups for their meeting that they're having, about planning a party, like about the government about giving taxes because they don't know where it's going, they don't trust. But if you could see where it goes specifically, and you get a little TikTok video being like they keep

your money. Now we now have a pothole, like you killed in this pole. But I really want to start doing that more often, Like I pledge as a celebrity that gets paid more money than I probably deserve to be paid because I'm lucky. I want to start doing these tips and I'm not going to do it for and I'm not trying to say this. I just think that everyone can add an extra five dollar tips sometimes if you can afford it, and even five dollars on

I've said this before. When you're a waitress and you have a someone's bought a thing and you get five dollars as the tip, an extra five dollars a tip is enough to literally put a skip in your step and make you like, wow, I just got an extra tables worth of money for and it's five dollars. So you have the ability. Everyone has the ability to do this during the day, and if you don't have money,

you can do it with compliments. And by the way, men need compliments, is what I've learned being around a bunch of men lately. They need compliments. So, Andrew, your facial hair is in great with your beard and your mustache. I really like the look. I missed the mustache a little bit, but you know he'll come back. Um, you look handsome today, so I just need you to know that you're a handsome guy. We gotta go. Instead of doing raps, we're gonna sing songs. This is where I

sucked up. This is where I went wrong. I was supposed to have a psychiatric meeting with my psychiatrist. I only go to him every couple of months, or maybe every nine months, to get my medications back on track and to make him make some money so that he doesn't just keep writing descriptions for and I'm sending descriptions instead of prescriptions. So then I scheduled this meeting, and I thought I'd go in person because I haven't seen

him in a while. And I sucked it up because in my mind it's still a telethealth meeting, and they just wrote me and said You're supposed to be here at eleven thirty. It's now twelve oh five and I still haven't been there and I'm not gonna come. And I wrote them, hey, can I wait five minutes? And they're like, what do you mean wait five minutes? It's been thirty five minutes and you're supposed to be here and it's not tell health. So everything is fucked and

he's probably gonna put me on Mormon's. I was thinking that that they would end up working out for you. Yeah, it's like, I'm clearly he needs to be on something else because you've really fucked us up. I gotta go one. Okay, my girlfriend's car, it has a bad engine. She brought it to Firestone they quoted, so then we brought it to Honda and they said nine fifty. Then I put

on Instagram story, will anyone do a brand deal? I know it's kind of weird to put that out there, and I just was kind of kidding, but I kind of threw a fishing a hook out there, and someone said, yes, I own Honda a little bit farther away from St. Louis, So I go, okay. I talked to the guy. He really made it feel like I'd actually get a car for a year and have no charges and everything was great. But then I bring n nave naive and I bring the car in. He's a new famous guy and he

thinks perks are all free. But there's always a prize. There's always a prize, a prize. The best part is they go, we knocked it down for you, and I go, yeah, but you forgot about the five other things the last place said, so actually it's not less, it's more, And they gave me ten. How many times have I thought I was getting a deal and I spend so much more. It reminds me if your mom goes to Mexico and she ends up spending seven thousand, because yes, and she

will because of all the resort fees of the travel. Okay, thank you guys so much for listening. If you do have any car deals that you can help Andrew out with, didn't do it out of the kind of stuff your heart. We're not trying to do any any deals here, but

you know. In August thirty, go to Nashville, UM to see Zaney's, to go see Andrew and support him and his first headlining gig, and quite some time, So that would be awesome if you guys all came to that and hung out and and really had like a bestie crew to support your your best friend Andrew support your theater shows a lot, and I have a lot of story and good clean Felth is coming on on HBO July sixt F Boy Island is going to be out July four. It's a big week that's coming up. Make

sure to watch F Boy Island season two. Andrew also worked on it. His jokes are all over it and you'll be able to pick out which one I know and then um and did anyone win? And then my special will be going out on that Saturday. So make sure to check out the trailer and if you could share it on your socials, that would mean so much to me to get people to watch it. And I love you guys so much. In uh Tobeka and Chick Russell Terrier