#229 That Might Trickle w/ Taylor McGraw

I go, do you want me to say it? And then I make them say it. It's a it's a new trick to figure out your best friends last name. What was that dog name in high school that would scare you from drugs or whatever? Um? Something McGraw McGraw, yeah, scruff mc Yes, was there a face? I hated that guy? Why did he creeped me out? He was in a trench coat. He seemed like I was gonna say, like the Barberry trench. It made me like, No, I didn't like it. He was always sneaky. It was just like

be out and open. Why are you undercover, you're teaching us about drugs. I don't know. I just didn't like he seems like to be, you know, coming out of the shadows or like a dark bar, and he was up to no good. Talk to him when you're high, Yeah after smoking a little weed with McGruff, you know what I mean. Like he seems like what a high guy would do to teach. That's probably what they came how they came up with him when they got high. What if we had a Bassett hound in a trench coat, dude,

and he had a badge that he would flash. Is he on a leash? No, dude, He is upright. He walks on two legs. He has like an attitude like a grizzled cop that's been at it for like twenty five years who's like on the beat. Still should have retired, but he's just too good to give it up. Maybe their idea was like, look, we're gonna give two kids, when they look at a normal dog what they would

see when they're high. We're gonna give it to them when they're not high, so they don't need to get Yeah, you got it on with MCB like all the like Smokey the Bear, the bandit, the like animal that they tried to teach us a lesson through. Yeah, they're like, um, you know, you're burning down my house. He just had big eyes. He looked like Teddy ruck Spin. He just looked animatronic. But I think they Yeah, he just wanted to prevent forest fires. Trying to think of anyone else Dare.

There was no face of Dare. The only people that wore Dare shirts were people that got high. Yeah, it was like the first ironic thing the day after I got stabbed. What It's a whole long story if you've never listened. Someone told me they were in New Orleans and they drove past the hospital where you went when you were stabbed, and they were I was like a landmark tour, just different places. Taylor lived in New Orleans

a year. It seemed like you wrote a story about it, and it seemed like the story I read it felt like you were there for seven years running your bike. Mccroth. I was very grizzled and leaning against brick walls all the time. How old were you, Taylor? Like she was just surviving on nothing like she was. You were basically like homeless, kind of just like making it home, but I had nothing else. I played car check. That's how

I got money. That's where you go and you check the door of cars and if they are open, you may steal anything you find there. You may. That's the law, that's the rule. What did you what made you convince yourse something that's okay? Uh? But you used to used to go around? Would you ever make would you ever make cars go? Yeah? And then you run? But or no? What we would do actually as we would just tip a bunch of garbage cans and around it and like

create a distract. Should they go oh that's why yeah, and be like, oh I phone? What stuff is that? Did you find in people's cars? And what would you I mean you never broke up Big Mac. No, like we would find I found like cigars, I don't know, just straight up fresh my friend ate it, um I c d s and stuff. I don't know. There wasn't like that much stuff change stuff that I did. I would sell anything because Big Mac was not touched. I think it was a trap. Yeah, have to stop getting

in your car? Who's not? And I'm just sitting like, er, where would you sell stuff? That's why I couldn't be a criminal because I would whenever like I see these groups of people that are now going into malls in like groups of seven people and just like all of a sudden, ransacking everything very slowly and no one can do anything about it. I get stressed out for them because I'm like, they have to list that on eBay, Like they have to list that thing, Like they have

to look up the go number. I like, really, I literally get stressed out about like are they gonna use eBay or Poshmark? Like I think of all the clerical work that is on the other side of them scooping things off of shelves into trash bags and then running out. I think pawn shops for that kind of stuff, right, For like perfumes. Maybe one time I stole two bottled perfume and I put it in the butt crack. We sold it on eBay. It was like almost empty. It

was the most expensive perfume in the world. Where was it Lord and Taylor or something it was? I would I would just see all the testers of the expensive thing caught stealing. When I was five, No, I wasn't wait, yeah, I was Chicago Bill. What I did was at some point I just became like sticky fingers MacGregor's and I just took a sushi and then just like went right outside and made it. And then the cop came. I

was like, you can't you just stole it. I was like, oh, there is because they took me in the back and the size of this whole wall I'm not joking was a blown up picture of me stuffing it in my purse. I was like, I got it from CBS. He's like, I don't sail it CBS. That was like that was like a roller coaster ride at the end when you see the photo, do you want the framed version? That would be hilarious to get a picture of you like getting caught like I did ask. I did ask if

I could take a picture of the picture. Yeah, he was like absolutely not this did you get? Like did they just mailed me a ticket for that which I just obviously didn't pay. Yeah, that's what I happened to

urban uppers Um. But like, isn't that That's the thing that happens when you start to just steal so much you just think it like is a thing you can do because you get away with it so much that you just forget to have any kind of precaution because you're just getting away with things so brazenly that it becomes like, especially when you're living in New Orleans and you even phrased opening the car doors like you may take anything you want, Like you created a moral rule

in your head that it lacked it, didn't. You gotta stop stealing? Do you still shoplifts? Yeah, Taylor, why do you do that? I'm just if you want to hate, I don't do from people I know, but like businesses are still trying to thrive, and there's people that like Walmart is trying to thrive, Walmart's driven. I'm I'm the one who's never living. You're doing a crime. You're living a I mean, I guess you're being honest about it, so you're not living at there's no lies involved here.

What are like things you do to make it look like you're buying something because this be the way you were in high school, but we all dropped it and you did it because now your bag I'm old and I don't from now, and I would just be like, oh golly, all like go into lows and like just steal every single thing instead of buying it. And if I got cottage, go gee whizz, Like I'm thirty nine, that's not what happens. Well, gonna get You're gonna get arrest.

Have you ever been cuffed? Not for steel? Really can't catch me. You're gonna get so fucking busted. What's the biggest thing? What's the what's the most the biggest almost expensive? And also we're gonna have to like modulate her voice to be like my back lit. The biggest thing makes me laugh, because what's the biggest thing you've ever sold? Uh? Large? I stole a car. I stole a cop car and row it around for a while. I put it back.

I put it back in a different spot to drunk. Yeah, it was at the Jimmy but it wasn't like on the street. It was the Jimmy Buffett Show parking lot, which I wasn't going to go in the show. I just go to hang out in the parking lot. Me steal all this stuff out of the car cop car. Taylor don't know that that's probably a family. She didn't

steal it. Though I didn't steal it. I stole was bad, But you did steal because you can because his name was Taylor coincidentally, then my friend like he had were passing to be like you could be beheaded in our It's like hitting a like a horse, cop or something. It's probably on that level. It's probably really bad. You didn't do that. You allegedly did it. Your full tall tales. Um, what's the most expensive thing you've ever stolen? Or like

the one that you know? But you didn't. I don't know why would you don't think you stole a cop car? You have to admit that. That is so dumb. If you had children, would you say, yes, mom, stole a cop car? Like god it Please say it was some level of like I was an idiot, nous you're saying it like it was a normal be friends with It's not. How old were you? You were not allowed to steal a cop car? I don't I don't allow that. I don't want you going to jail. It was I mean,

I don't even know what doing. Why were you It would have been funny if you drove yourself. It was because it wasn't okay. Actually, I'll tell you why. The reason we did it is because he left the lights on and we jumped the car. You were helping it. Yeah, so we drove our car all the way across the Jimmy Buffett parking lot through people brought sand. We're skinning in it, you know, like they lay out and the coolers were just drinking everybody's beer. And then so we

decided to be nice and we jumped his car. But then we're like, we're going to just drive it around and then we'll say we were just making sure that we keep running, but we probably where I would always have the excuse when they did catch me, like I was trying on bracelets. I didn't realize I left this one on exactly, you know, like I would create a scenario around we helped the cop in reality, because you got out of the parking lot, it would have been

dead and he would have been in troubler. You need to do better than this. It's kind of a pretty good. Jimmy Buffett stole a cop car just helping him. Stole a bunch of les and coconut bras out of the back seat before we told the car. Okay, are you at a point that when you're feeling that you do do you steal down to resell or do you steal like to keep things, or do you steal just for the thrill of it, because I do know that, really I don't. I don't think. I don't. I don't. I

don't know. I don't get like a thrill. I'm not like, oh, titilating. I like need stuff because I'm impoverished usually just like for some reason, I don't mind that, Like, it doesn't hit me if you're stealing and you don't have that much money and it's a little thing here and there, maybe some toilet paper, a top car. I guarantee you, I guarantee you through that. You can said everyone about capitalism and I'm getting back at the man, but I guarantee you it's it goes down to hurt the lower

classes that trickled down. I bet you could if if big companies are losing money because of people stealing stuff, who do you think they're going to punish in their companies. They're not going to take a bonus there here, They're gonna lower wages and they shouldn't be that big of a company in the first place. They're also they're never gonna Taylor McGruff over here, she's breaking down the big

business anti crime fighting dog kids. You get sticky pass old go to Ikea and like go like grabbing a dresser and then going around and around and then just walking right and ma'am, what are you doing. It's like, oh, another arrow outside by my house. I didn't following the arrows arrows. I just then I went out on the street and there were also arrows there at the light. Um, you asked, well, I just used this eyebrow gell and Taylor, and I was like, you can just have it, and

she was like, no, I'll get something. I was like, I knew you were going to steal it. I had a feeling. I was like, That's why I wanted to give it to you, because I'm like, please do not steal from e LF. They do cheap cosmetics. I don't want them to up their child labor. I don't want them to up their prices because they are cheap for a reason. And I hate when I go in there and I see people have ripped things out of packages. You're such a loser to do that, like just buy

it or don't have it, like they're gonna be like Okay. St. Louis, Missouri, on the second of June, somebody stole this brow jail, which is three dollars. We're up in the price, but trickle down. People do that because they see it's just you know, well if everyone went out and just like throw their ship on the ground, it would add up to a lot of trash. So it's just it's small things. Please stop. What's the most other than in the cop car?

Like you ever get jeweled, like you do a heist a level at which it becomes a felony of like a merchandise. Yeah, it's way more, way more than you say, people to lows and you steal everything. Yeah, I have a vague none also nice, like it's amazing, Okay, I mean I cannot if you've only been caught once and it was sushi and you sat in front of the grocery store, you store from the sushi, Yeah, because I didn't think either was a camera behind the cereal box?

Are yes, I do, But it was not. There wasn't one. It was the picture was straight on, like it was actually behind a cereal box or something. I don't know how that didn't. Didn't that make you worried like for the rest of time that they were like cameras beon cereal. We can't be living like that. Yeah, I know you don't. I don't want to join. Where are you going next later tonight? What do you want a brow jewel to? Can you get an iron? How would you steal a

golf club? I just take it walk out. If you just you just have some coffid alls, they won't catch. There have been times where I'm like the other day I went to Amazon to return some like or not Amazon, but the Whole Foods where you can return things from Amazon, and I got the wrong flavor of this protein powder and I see the flavor I went on the shelf, and they're like, they won't do it because it's the

time has lapsed because I forget to return everything. And I'm like, but can I just can I just swap out? These two do it? No, because it's in their system. It'll be like, okay, a chocolate one's missing and now we have an extra. It's I'm not trying to be like a goody two shoes. I just think that that stuff a trickles down to like the people in the warehouses being punished or the people being like they're already punished. I don't think okay, so just add on to kick

a horse when it's down. Okay, Why add more punishment just because they're already being punished. That's a dumb argument. I guarantee you if you ask every single person that wear us if I if I saw something, if they would be mad, there would be You can't steal from Amazon. I mean you would have a field day in there. I bet you steal packages off doorsteps. No, I don't steal stuff from people. And also I only st stuff

that I need right now. I usually don't steal packages, because that is like the most that's like, that's like I don't see undy from heaven. I steal from corporations watch out if you are one. But also I don't do from human people package downstairs. And sometimes I'm like, man, I could just take one of these and no one would fucking know. Then you're even more fu But but I don't do it. But there is some part of me that's like, I don't know any of these people's people.

I don't know their faces, so they can seem as entity less or impersonal as a corporation. Really, you can think a person like that, you have a little bit of a moral code. Peter Pan or Peter Rabbit, whatever business okay, Robins, right, we'll be back with Ra and uh and and Colin when we get back. Everyone steals a little bit at a time. But though over time does it add up? It doesn't. When you said, drap

Y that Mike will be gone today, all right, we're back. Yeah, just take a conventory of all of our equipment here because yeah, I'm justifying it. Well, they support you, and that might trickle. I'm gonna get some trickle, like it's gonna trickle to me or no, Nikki's fine, I love you and no, I would never trickle. Dude, Yeah, I get it. I still a Chick fil a sandwich almost in college was every day from now you're talking, but

I didn't even think anything. Grow up and you realize that, like that's not the way you want to and you can get in trouble. That can lead to like a lot of money being spent in court and arrested down the road. I don't want to record, Yeah, I barely want to. You know, an MP three already got a record by I have Spotify. I don't need a record old dad joke in New Orleans. Though you could you can do a lot and get it off your record like we had this um lawyer name because you like

rich dad Fred King. Yeah, but you have to pay Fred King a lot to get it off the record. My record now, but the record got Katrina. Yeah. I had a record in New Orleans and I got Katrina. I called one day. I was like, I need my records, and they're like they are gone. I was like, are you kidding? They all got wet. Yeah, they got stopped. I called the courthouse and yeah I did. For having jobs, you have to like prove what your record is. And so I would call him and they be these are

the crimes, and then crimes come on publication. Hopping freight trains. Who is this hobo? Do you know? Honestly, she was like, just not changed. I didn't even think. I didn't want to know this happened. And why are you hopping trains? It's so dangerous. I don't do it free old and rickety company trains. It's a big railroad from a hobby shopping. Why do you what's going on? How a train just pop right on pop top? Because it's fun? Because fun? Yeah?

Was it? You and your friends? Yeah? Because you don't have to pay, because you could go wherever it's fun because wherever you know where this train is going, because yeah, sometimes you have to like what if you fall off and fall onto? I would never well, I don't think anyone thinks start going to do it. I don't go in a part where you could fall. You go deep within What do you mean? How do you hop on? Then? When it's no? I would not get on off this movie.

You want to still running someone who's trying to say goodbye to their you know, sweetheart going to war, No John, and then you jump on getting on there. I'm not Dane Joe. I hate wherever characters inside the a caboose or whatever what do they call them? The freights that that box cars block card box cars. Did you meet other hoboes? Yeah? How are they chill? We'd like just hang out with hoboes whenever we would be on the trains.

You drink a wild Irish rose and stuff like probably saying Bob Dylan, So you got busted by the cops. How did you get arrested for that? Because? Uh, we're like sleeping on the train and these cops game they're they're called sleeping on the called an a railroad. Guys are called bulls, balls, bol bowls and they saw like little heads pop up and he came like a sleeper car. Is this an Amtrak with like people on it? Are

you on like like trains? So it's like delivering like you know, goods And they were brow gel you believe had good My eyebrows left on that train got back? Uh? No, that we get on like empty box cars or grainers are the ones they have Like a little bit in the bowl caught you and they're looking specifically for hob It was like you, they said, they put in my face, took a gun out. Yeah, and they said I thought

she was the Mexicans. It's been stealing mess sandwiches. And he was like, but I already called duns, so I have to take it to sandwich. But you're in Mexican. First of all, there was no photo of it, Nikki, What do you mean, giant? You can't prove it? Oh? Yeah, I love it. Yeah. So did you go to did you go to a jail cell? Yeah? And what happened to go to a day of my Life? Uh no, because no, I skipped out on that. I went because it was so you had a war it out for

you because you skipped a court for sure. Yeah, well I didn't. At the time, I didn't live in New Orleans. I had hopped the train to New Orleans and I was hopping it back and I got buzzets. It was stuck in jail. We're going to drive the train too, like St. Louis, like go back with you. Caught it in St. Louis and wrote it, get fucking greyhound bus for twenty and I have twenty bucks. Do any But I had a Megabus scam that was so good. I

remember that. Yes, I remember Megau. I decoded the like code and back then we didn't have smartphones, so I figured it out. Yes, that's right. She has a flip phone. By the way, I did like the like dealing her math like where I put put all the things on the wall and drop put like a string around it, and I figured it out the code and then I could just change it and then I would just show the guy the code and it worked every time. You like here it was one dollar huh because they would

always offer one dollar rides. Yeah, I was too slow for that or something, or I wouldn't have paid it. I would have done the code got free, right. I don't think anymore that you probably have to have a scan your people, do you. I think there's a part of you that likes being broke, so that like you're like my mom like you, My mom could be a millionaire tomorrow and she would still go to Goodwill. She would still like nicky, we can't get those stickers to

seven dollars not doing it now. I don't need them again. I'll have a couple, but I'm not getting them. And I'm like, you're a million you have endless money. Like my mom yelled at my dad the other day for getting strawberries for four dollars e J, Why did you get those? And my dad was like it's insane, Nikki, Like she can't she's single. Yeah, it's like this obsessive. Don't you think you're like that? You would still go to good Well you don't like to pay for ship.

I don't think I'm like that. I raised with that, but I just feel like, if you have money, you should I like paying for things that. I like supporting things if I can afford if I can afford them, But I don't know, I'm just not if you had if you have millions of dollars, would you still be hobo? I don't think i'd ever have millions of dollars. I can't what if you stole a lot of a lot, I'm saying you would steal it first, I wouldn't get

caught one a million dollars, No, I would still. I would just spend it on taking my friends places and I would Yeah, so good to good will the will? Um? What else did you get arrested for? All kinds of ship? Like? What? Uh? D w? I? Oh yeah, well conducting? Wait don't wait? What how many do you guys? Have you gotten to? Um? And aren't those fucking miserable? Yeahs bad as getting caught stealing.

Like whenever I've been in trouble with cops, it's like it makes me want to just walk follow McGrath and just do what he says, because I have ever deal with that. Again, I haven't been to jail and like fifteen years because now I'm just good Okay, So what were your do you guys? Like? Bang? When I was under twenty one and I was not drunk, it was

like a zero torrance one. The other one was not fair because my friend we only brought to this winery because she didn't drink, and then she refused to drive my old chitty car. She was like, I can't make me marryvous the way I drove it, which I only got pulled over because of tail was out, which it wasn't out. It fell back into the car because car was shitty. Wasn't my fault? Yeah, some a victim of circumstances. You were a victim. So your friend was hammered too,

and me but wouldn't know if she was over. But she wouldn't drive her shitty car because she was scared that she wouldn't be able to. But it was yeah, I've never heard of a car eating it's on tail. And then they said, do the alphabet backwards? I'm like what I could not? C Y X W v U T S R Q and Nicky's m D D. But life,

that's another disease. That's another reason why you should. I used to say that my mom drank so much that when we were little, she taught us the alphabet backwards, trying to save forward and you really good at walking Australia. I don't know what that means, but no, like she's trying to save forwards. But it's just a good thing that drunk people have to say when they do field sobriety tests. This guy you have to do, Yeah, Andrew's

done crime. I've done some kind No, he gets because he's he does things that like he doesn't know our crimes. Like you know, he'll get caught in fight or something and like get arrested for fighting, like stuff, the crimes of passion. You're like, I'm going to hop on this little train. No, no, no, no, I like crime. I do, I don't. I'm not like railed him in crime. It's time for a reason. What's the last crime? We're gonna have to disagree on that right there. Crime is crime

for a reason. It is reason stupid a lot of the time. Um, okay, crime. See you don't like crime. That's why a person who doesn't want to funk up their life because crime it doesn't pay. You pay crime. You end up paying and you have to deal with lawyers and you just like go show a bit of courtroom at a time and like stand at a certain time. It sucks like a dog owner's couch. Something that's not

a crime should be. It should be. But sitting on a freight train going like we need and singing Bob Dylan. I don't get the freight train thing. I don't think that that neither anything that I've done. It's a crime because everyone did it, then there will be millions of people hopping hobo like hopping trains, living on trains that are being used to carry stuff that you can't take up space with bodies. What are you talking about? That's why it's a fucking crime. I don't I think I'm

living in acceptable. I feel like tomorrow people go, hey, man trains open season. You maybe ten percent increase. I don't think think millions of people are scared of coule of people are going to be living in trains. Why wouldn't you want that? And we have a homes times people live on the street. They think they could live in a train, right, no one stopping them from living in a train be dangerous and that people would fall

into the train. I mean people are drunk. I'm sorry, but people who are homeless are oftentimes being drunk or doing opioids to get through the hard I don't blame them for doing it, but you're not supposed to hop a fucking train when you're opioids. It leads to destruction and death and people to clean up your fucking severed head. It's dangerous. There's crime for a reason. I understand what you are with. This is like trickle up crime. I don't like it. I don't like everywhere. I don't know

when I became that goody two shoes. But right now you're saying it's a crime. That's why people don't jump on trains. Yes, it's too spains are there for a reason for people to sleep on the business, But the homeless people right now sleep on the streets and stuff. You think they don't go on trains because they think there's a law against going on a train. Yeah, because it's it's it's Yeah, Taylor arrested immediately by guys that look for hoboes on train, specifically because it's a sandwich.

Oh yeah. And it wasn't immediately. Oh my god, got away with My birthday party was last night. It was really fun. Andrew, why didn't you see karaoke? We were talking about it earlier. It wasn't feeling it. I wasn't feeling I wasn't feeling like I don't know, I was feeling insecure about I can't sing that well sometimes I get shy like that was a moment. I don't know. There was only like fifteen people in the room at a time. It just felt very like it didn't feel judgy.

I just didn't want to I didn't. I don't know why. I didn't want to get up. And then we left without saying goodbye, which is a very weird move because I left. There were fifteen people there. You could just go. That was so weird. It was annoying. I thought you went to go play basketball or something. No, I was. I was doing that. And then you have your phone. Well I could have gotten home and scene, Hey, I know you don't have your phone, but I left. I

guess I could have done that. I just I risk goodbyes when it's like a hundred people party and you're not my best friend or fine, but like it's just weird. It's I thought, oh, no, is he mad at me? Like oh no, no, no, no, I mean not at all. I was just really tired, and uh, and I just like I don't know, like you exact reason I didn't

want to have a party. You shouldn't have gone, because what you're talking about I was very I'm talking about No, I'm just saying because I thought, my friends are going to feel like they have to go and they don't want to be there, and that's that's example. But that's not I think I didn't want to be there, You didn't want to sing awkward, and then you left early. You're bringing you were tired. You're bringing up all the negative it's because the train hopping and not bringing up

any of the positives. But I'm just saying I was great for the first I would say I was extremely involved and a great fan, singing along, being the number one supporter, getting the party going, like it's true, and then I just fell off a little bit. I was just tired and it's a long drive. I had two drinks over the night. Yes, I didn't want to have another drink, and I was like, stopped drinking. No I did, I did know I did, And then I just to

stay there. You gotta keep drinking, I know. But you're looking a lot of the negatives when there were a lot of I'm just saying that everyone goes no Nikki, everyone wants to be there, and it's like I just got confirmation someone didn't want to be there. They left early in a sneaky way to like not have to say goodbye and not make it a thing because they didn't want to be there. That's why I don't like parties. It's because of the expert I think you're I think

you're putting that on that. I think the idea that I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be there past a certain time, that's all. And then you were about to sing um uh Stevie Nicks, and I didn't want to. I don't know you were about to have a moment with your mom, and just felt very like, Okay, they're not gonna mind me being gone, like I just didn't feel. But literally everyone said goodbye there except you. You could have just literally gone like this.

It's not like we would have going Andrews leaving right before that. I was getting shipped that I didn't sing a song, So then I think, if you should I just go more other people did. Okay, well, that's not my fault. I I want to know exactly what happened. I and I apologize for not saying bye. Think I did say that, thank you. That's how the conversation started. Yeah, across the board, but you're still going to do it now? I don't. I am, oh, well, are you going to

get that brow gel? And I could pay two bucks? Okay, it'll be very embarrassing if any Well I did at Fusing party last night, despite um now realizing someone didn't want to be there. But it's okay. You did rally and you were really fun and you did My mom did stand up comedy. My mom was the m v P of the party. It was insane. She is so funny. I can't even take it. She was doing she literally was doing stand up comedy. I was just giving her

prompts to talk about and she was killing. I think I have to get her into doing stand up because it was a form of expression for her that I've never seen. And my dad was like, we need to give her a mike more often, because she was just like, Okay, what do you want to talk about? I mean I just had her like list all her brothers and sisters and then rank them from her face and that was pretty fun. And then she was down to do any

of it. And then she was talking about she was just going off like she was just telling stories and and just being like, what do you bit just doing? Yeah, she was kind of heckling. Chris yawned at one point during her like performance and she just goes wake up to like like really quickly to him, and it was like really like pretty great crowd work. I was kind of impressed, so I want to encourage her to maybe

do what Yeah, but she had like jokes. I think like this time, like she just needs to tell stories, Like I need to get her to tell stories. And then because Chris was saying to me, like, I know would be annoying if your mom like started doing stand up and I'm like, no, I would fucking love it. I would love it on stage and do like a Q and A yeah, that would be And what do you know about Q and I? I don't even want to talk about it. That was my mom's like whole thing,

which she was. She was getting a little like, uh felt kind of cornered into having to like a political statement against Yeah, she's she is. I'm just disgusted want to talk about it, um, but she was. She was singing a lot, and she was also she just she wants to sing every song. She's just and she's taking singing lessons and singing teacher was there my art the oneman that Aria that helps my mom and gives her singing lessons was there and like encouraging her long and

she was singing like really hard songs. Was pretty impressed. Um, but overall it was good, Taylor, what was your favorite part of the evening? Um? I really liked what ass Pussy done? My Nikla very like a sweet she just

had a baby. It's um Chris's brother's wife, Emma. She has like a you know, four month old at home, and she was singing wet s Pussy And it was funny because Tim was like kind of blushing her husband, but she was like smiling and like, it's just so funny to see this like sweet mom singing this song. This very explicit and everyone can see what the lyrics are because they're like big on the screen. So this whole room of people is watching this sweet mother sing

wet as pussy. And we were going back and forth with it, and it was funny because Chris goes Tim, you know how I feel now? Like because there Tim was feeling a little bit embarrassing like how raunchy Emma was being, and he was like, now you know what my world is, and it was like, oh, that's nice to see. Okay, we'll be back with some fan tracks. Alright, we're back. Let's do fan trax. M All right, let's get to it. Noah, what do you have for us? Sorry, Luigi,

you can't get up here. Do you want to get up here? Come on up? Yeah. Let's start with a voicemail from Luke. Okay, Luke, Noah, Nikki, Andrew, this is Luke from Lincoln, Nebraska, and I'm calling about episode to nineteen and two twenty, about that college in Canada offering that Taylor Swift class. And I couldn't help but think what band might be least likely to have a class about it? And I couldn't help the thing about my favorite guilty pleasure band, Third Eye Blind, specifically that song

semi Charm of Life. You know, I want something else to give me three of this simmy job con in life. Right. So the music sounds so that summer fun vibe. Yet the lyrics, if you read them, they're pretty dark and dirty. Maybe a fun game you guys could do is play is this a Third Eye Blind lyric or something from your mom's adult romance novel collection? I don't know, just a thought. So I love you, guys, don't be and had fashion. Oh my god, wait hold on, let's look

at those lyrics. And I love that song. This guy was cold, there was no okay, so it says, and to speak to you like the of course, it's to the verse, chopping of a line like a coda with the curse come on like a freak show takes the stage. We give them the games we play, and then it goes on to this guy was gold. It was rose. I was taking SIPs of it through my nose and I wish I could get back there, someplace, back there, smiling, and the pictures you would take jing crystal meth would

lift you up until you break. I won't stop. I won't come back down, and keep the TikTok rhythm, A bump for the drop and then a bumped up. I took the hit that I was given, then a bumped to get, then a bumped aget said how do I get back there too? And then I believe in the sand beneath my toes, the beach gives a feeling and earth and earthy feeling. I believe. Okay, so um meth.

This song is about math. Yeah, it's about math. It is weird when you like, start singing songs and look up the lyrics to go, whoa, this is what it's about. What did you think there was some song yesterday that you were like. I always thought it was someone said they thought hey Jealousy was hey, Chelsea, you thought it was hair jealous, hair jealous, hair jel I see, um, okay, that was a great suggestion. And I love the band would be your least like like you Be forty, like

Red Red One or um. Honestly, Maroom five Mos like Jagger is my least favorite song of all time, but they have a big catalog. Du teach maybe like a one hit wonder to do a hole actually like a lot of Room five. I just hate that song so much. I hated that. I'd like to know more about Mr Big. Come on, little Girl that Mr Big? I think? So whoa? I thought he was just about chumba womba. Oh I ohe the do you do a class on it? What song do they sing? I mean, it's hard to break

it down. It's get knocked out, but I'll get help again. That's it's it's pissing the night away. I think, yeah, when you really break down that, I mean, what's spend. What's he doing? She did, she needs club? She so we're going to professor stand up about her family? She just yeah, um yeah, I guess that that would be my least favorite. Is just a song a musician. I don't really hate any musicians, like the DJ Khalid okay let's and I'm calling him a musician is quite a

strap would be the greatest because he said so. Okay, um no, next fan trax. Al Right, here is a story from Taylor. Okay, hey, besties, this is Taylor from Chicago. I was just listening to the Reddit dump uh Bukaki episode um, which it totally does sound like bullshit, and I think I might start using that as a synonym for bullshit. I wanted to call it a misuse of word. Story.

I used to work at a salon as a receptionist, and it was at the front desk one day and the stylist brought up her client to get her all checked out and on her way, and the stylist said to the client like, oh, your hair is just so much brighter now, like it's very rejuvenating and blah blah blah, and then she goes, yeah, it just really euthanizes your look and sit there with that straight face, and it was honestly one of the hardest things I've ever had

to do. Um, I just wanted to share that with you because it's absolutely ridiculous and other people need to know. But I love you guys, love the pod, and I'm sure I got nothing. That's what was the days we don't either. That's so funny. I used to have a joke that I was like when I played a like kind of Sarah silverman ish joke where it was like I say things that I don't know that they're bad, and I was like, I took my dog into the you know vet and he was looking old. So I

was like, is there anything you could do? Like I heard about this thing where you can euthanize him to make him younger, and they and so now I don't have a dog anymore, and they killed him and I actually surprised about it. But that is so funny. Yeah, really euthanized. You've got correct people on that you gotta go And it's so fun The two people that you listen to, it's like they both think that that's a word. Yeah, you could correct them. I don't because oh I know,

or they just want to take it away. Well I don't know who, but that's too funny to go. You just picked a word that it's not like it means something that is it means to put to sleep forever. So it's like, it's it's funny that that's a funny correction to make to someone. I would I would think it's not like being like, well, excuse me, I think you mean that you think that, Yes, it's not that um, but that is so funny and it does sound like it should be. Yeah, you use For a second, I

was like, what's wrong with that? Yeah? Right, Oh, but I like the two people were just like, it does euthanize you? But that does that does sound like a treatment I would want to have as the euthanizing face mask. Yeah. It just makes your hair look dead it Yeah. Do you know that's why you look shiny with botox is because when you become dead, your skin atrophies and it becomes very shiny and botox people you get shiny forehead when you get botox because your skin kind of thinks

it's dead. I don't know the exact chemistry of it, but there's some kind of thing about that that yeah, with people on it. Well, there weren't because Tailor lapped for me, but open because Taylor, because it was if there's a casket that's opened, it is your duty to take the big mac. Wait what wait what? Wait? Who's who did you see dead? I mean my uh, my grandma's boyfriend, which sounds funny, but he was like nineties something. Um,

because I've only seen one, he already looked dead. He already looked like he looks like the guy in seven Coughs up Dust and I think he's dead. He already looked like he looked alive. They gave him a little like bronzer um the I that my friend who shot his blew his head off, essentially. I could not believe they would do in an open gasket. But they really fixed him up in a way that like he just looked very pale, yeah, and like yeah, it was creepy.

But I couldn't believe because I was just like where where is? I was trying to look for them because the back of his head. Yeah they can, they can do amazing things and dark. Yeah it's start as fuck. But listen, um, I saw my grandpa. I was like he's not in there, like there was nothing in there. Yeah.

I just read this really sad story about a woman who was like writing about, you know, losing her child in Sandy Hook and writing like a kind of a letter to parents that lost their kids in this recent shooting about like here's what I went through and here's what to expect, and like she was talking about like holding her child's hand after it was like she could, and she was just like it's just it's it's they're not there. They're not there, you know. Oh, shush, I

know children might be listening. Oh my god, I got a moment with your dad last night. This makes me ago. So your dad, you know, telling his story. He's like, I'm losing my voice, but I'm also going to talk the whole time. My dad was I mean, he sounds terrible, but it it sounds like that. So he sounds like he's drowning in mud constantly. He's fucking it's really awful. He was telling his story though, He's like this guy we were going around tayling stories. We were at the graveyard.

Oh yeah, he went to his fifty year aa and then all of his friends walked around the graveyard friends, they took him on the life support and then he did he lived another four years, and Taylor goes, that doesn't really make sense, and you can just see your dad. I don't think you've ever been called out on like like everybody did say that the wife yanked the chord

like she was starting a lawnmower. Definitely, guy said the joke of so this guy got taken off life support, which and lived for four years, and then about he said three times, No, that did not happen. First of all, my dad exaggerates by so if it's four years take off, take off, it was, it was at least two years, but not more than three. Everything my dad does is exaggerated everything, every number, every quantity, every length of time,

any kind of number. It's always gaggerated because he knows that's not all a good story, is what he'll say. And I say, no, you know how to lie constantly. Well, it's funny the thief called out the liar. Oh yeah. A moral code when it comes to telling tall tales. Is that what you guys do on the railroad. You make sure everyone tells the did you did you read the sober and as a child, No, I don't read fiction.

It's like Taylor is sham because it's a lie. I hate you don't read fiction, No, because it's fucking made up lies. But they're just read things that are real. I understand that. I don't like fictionalize things either, but you have to understand. I under for me. It's not my preference. But don't act like it's not valuable in society. No, I just want to see it. No, I'm not saying you only need books about like Spider and how to pin them in a and Taylor's. Taylor's hobbies include um,

collecting bug specimens, cartography of old rock quarries. This is real show. No, it's not the Taylor shame show. You're so interesting. I don't understand you and um and like you should. But Taylor loves collecting bugs, and you make your own. What's the best bug you've ever stolen? I stole his life a scar rub. Wait? Do you ever kill bugs to take them? Or do you think I just find them dead? Yes? You want to kill him dead? Damn it. Well, if you don't want to make this

a shame show, we just walked into a territory. I don't have I don't kill dogs. It's just a little bug. I would protect you and you would be piste. How do you kill them? And I have a collection? Wait, how do you kill them? Do you have any centipedes? Oh that's not an insect, but I mean I do, actually, but an arthropod? Really? Is that right? Actually? I don't know. I only know about insects. Okay, let's do almost. And Taylor has given herself all of her tattoos. These are

all her own. She does her own tattoos with pen on the freight train, on the freight train with a thunderstory to mosquitoes and put in her arm. It says obscure facts on here that doesn't see like my dad was trying to when you got you have an Apple Core. You have something that says mag maggot magic. I guess I'm not that you better euthanize that sentence. God. Okay, let's let's says maggots final thought. Let's go to another fan trax if we have time for it. Yeah, okay.

So this is a message that came from Kira on Instagram, and you guys are going to be in Pittsburgh on Saturday. So she wanted to share some fun facts about Pittsburgh, please, Okay, has more bridges than any city in the world, fourty five, which is why it's called the City of Bridges. Didn't Okay, there's suicide joke TVD. Which one do you pick? The world's first t Rex skeleton is displayed at the Carnegie

Museum of Natural History in Pittsburgh. Whoa it was until Taylor stolen and put in her favorite band is t Rex? Is it? There was one point? Yes? Score? Okay, how about this one. There is a gravity hill in North Park where your car will roll uphill. We know who's probably driving. It's going somewhere. It just took it for a spin around the law. I was borrowing it for gravity research. Crazy okay, So gravity like doesn't work somewhere the card maybe because of the moon or something. Okay, Um,

any other facts just famous people from Pittsburgh. Yeah, let's hear him, all right, Jimmy Stewart, you can stop, all right? Yeah to Stewart. We like to be Stewart. Uh, you know, wonderful life. Harvey. I don't know that guy. I mean, I've heard you hear his name, but I don't know what I know. He's an actor comedian kind of thing, really, but I've never seen his work. Jimmy Stewart, he talked like this. I think they all back then. What you've heard of this? It's a wonderful life. Right, it's a

it's a movie. It's another movie, but it's a wonderful life. Okay, who else? Um, Gene Kelly? Oh another oldie? Anyone within the last two centuries? Mr Rogers? Again? What about that's a Christina Aguilera. Oh there we go, Come on over. Um, who's do you have any like? Famis from Port St. Lucy besides Megan Megan Fox. Oh yeah, there's the thumb thing. It's something about their thumb. That's a good one to have from your town. Where about your from your own

Oh wait, you're from here, Bob Costs. I mean, before we leave, I just want to say that Taylor was in the car with me when I hit a garbage man. Been through a lot. I cried, you were in the car, She was in the car. Can you do you want to tell what your perspective was? We were rocking out. We're going to an eighties game, basketball basketball game, eies because we're in the pup. Yeah, and he jumped right out. I mean I was I testified you did he jumping?

So I don't like get in trouble. I've been to court. I don't like it. Yeah, why you don't start off fifteen minutes saying you're a thief and then is the person back? You know your one story when you killed a guy. I didn't kill him. I'm sure he got jacked. Yeah, I don't. Wasn't even really hurt. Yeah, dude, the stories

me a little bit. He did flat, but it was like Superman through the like he jumped and was like literally it was like he hit the front of my mom's bad It was yea, what did you keep driving? We started laughing. We used my mom's cloth, We laughed. I laughed hysterically because and that's what happens a lot of times when you have a traumatic event, people just laugh hysterics. I think something weird is happening like that, Like I did. I remember feeling really guilty, like why

am I laughing? But it was just so little. I mean, I know, I can remember exactly how he looked, and it was funny. Yeah we looked. We were in eighties gear and we were just like did you on with your mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I was like, there's a garbage man down and we got out of the car and there was a part of me that was like I should leave, Yeah, I should, just I didn't think that, Well that's what you think. Like, honestly, I

understand hidden runs. Would people just run because you just like you're so You're not a bad person, You're just like, are so scared, like and you think they might be dead? So what are you gonna do? Like, I don't know, there's you do weird stuff. Oh my god, my Aunt Sally's calling and I've been avoiding her call. She gave me a card for my birthday from my mom that said pick up your fucking phone. In the middle of the card, you open the garden says happy thirty birthday,

pick up your fucking phone, Love Aunt Sally. It was written like jail font chicken scratch. She was she's in a wheelchair and can barely write, and it could be why not jail It looks like one of your tattoos, magic callback and um any other memories from our childhood that you want to share tree court days we were we used to rule the roost it um. We were the mayors of the space called Court, and we were just that's where harassed people. Harassed people you have, like

the all the lifeguards. My god, we were so in love with the would like stalk them and write poems about them. And there was one guy that looked like the Tom Everett Tom Scott Everett from American Werewolf in Paris, and so we called him a whip because it's American Werewolf in Paris Paris, So we called him a whip.

And there was another guy that want sunglasses and we were like, he looked like cool, like zoot suit riot, so we called him Swinger and so swinging a whip board these like hot lifeguards that we were like drowning or whatever to get them to like pay attention to you. Taylor got like one of them. You started dating Swing Swing so jealous, and I remember one time I was like we were just I was so interested in sex, obviously,

but none of my friends were having it. I wasn't having it, and I thought Taylor was a little bit more experienced than me. And I remember going over your house and being like, what did you would swing or do? And you drew a picture of a hand and you just circled the figure, and I was like, I was so crazy to talk about what we did. I can just go you circle a finger just one second. Oh my god. Well Taylor's here. I gotta go. Um, I'm going to another show. I'm going to a radio show.

It's in Chesterfield. Taylor's going to drive me. Um. I don't know how I feel about that, but I actually do. It's gonna be fun. She's driving me in a car. Is it the one that she stole a couple of years ago from New Orleans. No, she had to give that back because it had a fucking siren on it. This one's her mom's Kia Sorrento. We're gonna have fun. Never let go. We've always ended this. Sometimes I think about jumping on a train, but I feel like I'll bring my parents so much pain. But I get back.

I sit back and I relax when I eat the sandwiches like a Mexican boy who gets um. Told that he did it, but it was really me, and I feel really bad because he got hit. It won't be taken out of contact. Want to wrap about. I'm sorry about all the shame I've caused the Glazer name by telling you about my crime at this very hard time. That's good. I did not mean to shave you, but I do want you to stop stealing. And I thank you so much, and I thank you so much for

being here. Like we've never had anyone this interesting on the podcast ever, Like I can't even believe how crazy your stories are. And I want to have you back. And I hope you don't feel like it was a shame fest. I can't use a little shame every once in a while. Well, shame is my That's what I did. Yes, it's what Well, that's what I love doing to myself, so I give to other people quite often. I'm sorry about that gay giving. Andrew, you should have said good

bye to me last night, but you apologize. I apologize for my crimes. Um, I was just bringing that, but as a joke. I really wasn't. Not being again, I accept your apology. App thank you. It's a rap as a W A R P. Al Right, guys, thank you so much for listening to the show. Well, look at Luigi, he knows what I'm saying about. Don't be kidding out there. And what Jackson eyes Jackson eyes