#225 Return Label

Just my asshole? How long was it? Ashol? Yeah? Well I'm dilated? Were you I literally googled last night? Is my hemorrhoid too long? Did you measure it? Honestly? This thing it's its own person. It's starting to grow legs. I think it doesn't hurt like a salamandertail. Yeah, pull off and we'll grow back. It looks like maybe you have to have surgery. Looks like a man that makes salads. That's how big it is. Boy, I think so it's a tong It's cool though, I could tucker tucker and

now it's a girl. Did you did you look at it yet? I haven't looked at I pull on it sometimes so you know you can feel how long it is? Yeah, yikes, when you feel it, feel it or like on it. So then what's then? Who cares? It's an accessory? Does it get the little tail? Does it get in the way from what I mean? Like? Why why did you even google? Like? What's too long? If it's if it doesn't bother you? Um, a question. I don't know that is a good question. Um, it's just unusually long. How

long are we talking? Do we have? How long is this podcast? To say the measurements to the exact numeral it would take it would be like singing pie um again to tell me what are we talking? Seriously? How long? And like, let's be honest here, don't go don't exaggerin show me with your fingers. I don't do this again. I don't. I don't feel, but you feel like if you were to pull on it. Guys, he's doing an inch. It's it's at least it's an inch, maybe an inch

and a quarter. Yeah, it's Wait, and what are the diameter of it? Like? Is it a little like? Is it like a what's the like feeling of it? Is it like rubbery. Yeah, it's like a it's like a rubbery substance. It's like if you pulled you know those like like Plato or like an older rate those a racers that would pull apart kind of something like that. I'm sure it doesn't hurt when you pull on it. It doesn't hurt. The only time my asshole hurts is when I eat spicy food and then it somehow you

know my ass I don't know. I don't know why it hurts so bad. Um, you never looked into that, like why does spicy food make my asshole hurt? I'm busy googling other things. Yeah, like one other thing just every day. I mean it's abnormal. Yeah, that's I mean. So anyways, I got my hips stretched, yeah, and just everything. It's a great experience. And how much is it? Did

you find out? So you can get four sessions for like a fifteen bucks or something and then you chip on top of that, yes, I do, tipper, I do? Then okay, And how long do they stretch you for? Again? Twenty minutes? So it's not long enough. You could do a forty minute option. It be probably, I don't know, like more probably, Um, all right, I could be into that. I mean just the way. I don't know the best

way to do things. But you compare them to massages you get do you roll first before they stretch because stretching I've learned yesterday from my guy. If you stretch without rolling out first, you're pulling on cables that are like taught. But if you roll first and warm up the muscle, then it's going to it's going to be able to stretch like a rubber band. But if you're just stretching cold, like going in and just all right way stretching and not doing rolling out first, you're just

pulling on cables that can't move. So you're saying, my hemorry could be even longer a little roller pizza. Oh my god? Alright, does that make sense that he my guys said. Your muscles are like imagine they're like taffy. If you're trying to pull about taffy and has a rapper on it, you can't do anything. But when you do, you know my o fascial release. By rolling out, it warms up the muscle, it removes the rapper, so then

the taffy can stretch. Now, how sorry, when you roll because when I roll it's it feels like a million bees love it so much. Last night I was like

really getting into it. I did my chest, which is like it is sort Today I went really hard with the thera god and also with like lacrosse ball just like over it and it was so good and um and this morning I do feel like better and more like, oh, like there's more movement in my chest and then um, I rubbed out my um my this with my ands, which is like the lower calf and like all the

oh boy, there was some good spots there. But Chris, my boyfriend who goes to this guy and has been doing it much longer, he was like, you gotta find the because I was doing theragun on my chest and I was like, why can't I just do this instead of the little cross ball And he's like, show me the pressure you're doing and I did the thyra gun in his hand and he was like it's not hard enough, Like you need to like find spots and just push on them and like torture yourself with those little knots

and which is like my favorite thing to do, but it's so painful. It's so painful. I got and I got these I got toad spacers from my Bunyan's are my favorite thing. These seventy dollars. I used to have them, but I lost them and I was that and you yeah, and you. So they're toe spacers. You can't find this kind of Amazon. These are like the other ones are made of like this just such a little rubber. I've tried to hands and it spreads apart your toes and the one between my big toe and my second toe

has like it has a little hole in it. So does the one on the end. And so you can roll up. I rolled up an old set list and put it in there and it made it even bigger space. So now are you wearing those yesterday? Because you posted a video on our Instagram. I've been and they fell up at the very yes, the new ring. They fell yeah, at the other foot. Can I ask a question, huh? This one doesn't have the space because I don't need that. That hurt at all. It starts to hurt a little

bit because it's like stretching up. How long are you supposed to keep him on all the time because you wear yeah, if you wear to spacers and like um Bunyan splints for just at night, like it's you're the way you walk will completely outdo every Like if you take them out suddenly, then the pressure of your whole body leaning on that toe and pushing it back into place, it negates everything. So you just I wear them. I'd try to wear them all day. When you take them,

did you run yesterday? When you take them off, does it feel like remember when we're talking about the arms, when you push up on the arms. I was wondering this, does it feel weird to then have your toes come together at all? Or no? No, no, they just go back right back to the way they were. I love these though. They feel so freaking good. I like left them on first of panky panky last night, and like the pain of these plus I don't know why I

can see my grand but so delightful. I love pain, just like being like your body being forced to do things that like it knows it can do, but you gotta dry really hard. It's just so rot to me, Like I forgot they. I left them on during lovemaking and then after while they were on my foot during it, I was like, this is an added like thing like

for me, I like sex to feel like endurance. Like I'm doing things that are like I'm uncomfortable with physical not like psychologically, but somewhat physically too, And so I think that it just adds to it, like I'm always going to wear my Bunnion splints during sex. Now I really like it. Did you keep the crocs? Uh? No, that would have been too hot. Now is your Is your boyfriend attracted to the He doesn't mind it, They're just they're not in the picture. He's he doesn't. He

puts his fingers and them. That would be cool. I don't think it'd be cool for him. I don't want to speak for him, but I don't. He is not turned on by my feet by any means. He's not a foot guy or anything like that. Everything stretched out. If you don't want to go what a word? No, it is the worst word. But I will say that Lebron James has the worst feet I've ever seen. So if anyone ever tells me, how do we know about Lebron's feet? Do you want me to show you a picture?

Because I was looking at googling celebrities with Bunyan's and all of a sudden his shop showed up, and I'm like Lebron James is bunyan is worse than anyone else's bundion. I've ever seen that. Dude has put more miles on his feet. But no, but other athletes don't have feet like this. They do, they really don't. Like he has a bunyan. Imagine, imagine if he gets corrective surgery and then like he loses his whole game like that bunyon is the for another ten years and that's the only

thing holding him back. M I think I think he has done enough research that if this thing needed to be fixed, Now, what if the doctor said to you, either you could wear those I mean, what is that? My mom has that kind of toe. What do you mean what kind of to his pinky toe where it comes up. Yeah, that's like it's it's be moved over from like two tight of shoes and just weird. That's like the best athletes on earth feet I know. So

I have I have feet that are very similar. I have moren't common with Lebron James than you do, probably I would say so. I mean, I'm pretty my foot looks mangled and now I look at his, like, Okay, Lebron James has it, whereas Chris was saying to me, well, I think think of what maybe he could be without that. I'm like, what what more do we need from Lebron James. I'm sure there's a hot women, hot women sports star that has no bunyans. So I'm more similar to her

than you. Okay, if you want to be a female athlete, for you, I don't wait, So what we're just talking? Oh what if the guy goes to you goes either you wear those spreaders every day or you just never wear heels again. Um, because doesn't the heels affect the bunyan Yeah, but I heels too good. They look, they look, they make they look amazing. It's like they would be like telling you not to wear an outfit that really

elevates your style. You know, Like, no, I get that, but I'm just saying if it caused me pain, and like, that's not causing No, they're already there. That just like irritates them a little bit more than they already would be irritated. They're not. It's not really like making them worse. I only wear heels like two hours for three hours a night, two times a week, which is much. It's not too bad. It's not. That is not what's causing

these things. So um, yeah, So I rolled out last night and then this morning I keep thinking of the ludicrous song roll out Starbucks this morning. Yeah, and I had to write this thing for this book. I just oh my god, this book. I mean, I feel like it's the bane of my exist I'm like, I feel so bad because the woman I'm writing with, I just keep telling her I'm going to like, oh, i'll have this to you by this time. I cannot get anything done. When I say it's going to be done, nothingisments. You're

probably like, but did you get your audition done last night? Yes? I did do that, but I sent it thirty minutes after it was due and it might be too late for it. And I think I may have sent the wrong fucking thing. Like I don't even know, like it's and was it good? I don't know. You know what, though, I feel like everything I do is just last minute. I cannot get him for an extension. I don't know.

It could be one of those things where it's like, okay, yeah, we'll wait for her, like they can always say no. That's my point is like I asked for extensions knowing that if they say no, then I lose the opportunity. And that's that I'm not like I know I'm going to get an extension, Like I asked knowing that the answer could be no, and I go, okay, well, maybe more value to ask for an extension. In a weird way, I just blow past every single fucking time I set

for myself. It's just what did you do in school when you were when you were late with stay the night before everything? I know what made you do it? Though? Eventually punishment because no, because I had to turn it in. Why don't this deadline because there's no punishment. Well, because people make exceptions for television stars. Yeah, I can get away with it. And because I have people working for me, like and I'm paying these people that I'm you know,

not not necessarily the people I'm turning in. Like if someone wants you enough, If someone wants you enough, they'll give you an extension, you know, or if like part of me that allow me to get away with things. But it's if someone goes no, you can't do that anymore. And this is a problem to be like, bit you're on my payroll, what you don't get to tell me. But I also realize I always give people, and I do this for everyone. I hope they know this that

when I am running late about something. Even Matt the other day on our show, like I went long in the casino was pissed at him because it was like, you need to be off stage by twelve o'clock. I was off stage at twelve ten, and Matt got in trouble for it, and I'm like, please let them know. It's my fault. There's nothing you could have done. I don't I disobeyed you so like you are not in charge of me in that way and it's not your fault. Please let them know that, like blame me. So I

hope that people know that. I like Noah when I forget to give her an AD or I like asked for an extension on an ad I'm due to give her. I I it's I never wanted to land on her that it's her fault, but she is in charge of getting it from me. So it does ultimately because I learned my lesson and I always broker for that extra time, so good. I don't know if I told you that, I know you're right because you know now like I am not gonna get I just to work with you.

People learn how to work with you, and that's fine. That that's a part of the collaborative effort. The airport situation we used to like I used to bug me, and then you just adapt and it's not saying that. Like I also learned that your way isn't necessarily the wrong way. It's a different way than most people do, you know, like showing up you leave no time in regards to getting the bag there, getting to the air

But I also learned you can do that. And we've only missed I think two flights in our whole Yeah, I think two three maybe out of like we've made every show. We missed one in in in Bloomington. Remember we got stuck in traffic that wasn't necessarily we did leave late, but that was kind of out of your control. I don't know, it's probably my control. But like I've I've I really have never maybe missed two shows in my twenty year career from but it's been late for

the airport because there's always a way around it. And also I just look at things like it's a show. This is not me going to sign a peace treaty for the end of a war. This is a dumb show at a comedy clup and things, And yes, I know there's a lot of money running on it, but I always try my best. But when you start to look at things of like it's just a show, and then especially for you, like you can look at it like it's not my show. I know that took a

while to get to. Also, you think of whenever you would travel as a kid, there was a you had to get to this thing, Like I remember I missed one flight, you know, my whole life. You don't miss flights really from leaving too late. When you only fly once every five months, it's like a big thing. It really annoys me when people are like, I'm packing for

a trip next week. I got start packing and I'm like what over preparing for things really sets me off when people do that, Like because I'm such a person that doesn't do that that I get so annoyed by people who actually do the thing that I wish I could do that I just I just get so frustrated by them. But these are skills you learn over time. Travel for sixteen years so like, but I never I never passed that's true. For never, I was always the

night before. I remember I missed one flight for like my step family reunion, and I probably missed it because I didn't want to go, like I've really fucked up. Doesn't want to go to step What is that? What am I doing there? Why am I there? It was in the middle of Pennsylvania. It was me and like five Nothing good happens in the middle of Pennsylvania, you know. For Welkes buried. That was a hell of a show. Oh yeah, that's true. And that that plane crash. It

was so weird being my step family reunion. That wasn't a good thing though, but a brave thing that was better than my step family read it was it terrible? So you missed it, So I missed it, and then they had to you know, then they had to change arrangements. And then you know, then you're the one coming. You know, they don't have to do that. That's on them. They think they can just go on without you. You're the one that missed it. You they don't have to change anything.

When people go, well we had to do this because of you, it's like that's you. You wanted to do that. Just go on without me. I understand. If I'm the star of the show you got then I'm then I do feel bad and I'm like, I'm sorry, but we gotta go to break. Um. Let's talk more or less about this when we get to this, andrafted every steps co to another step. If you keep stepping up, you never step down. But if you step down, don't be

sad because tom alright, we're back. Yeah, I apologize, I'm the show as you, ending the first segment with a little just like lullaby. Um. Anyhow did I watch? Have you seen the new Jackass? No? I have no interest. I don't like seeing people that. I don't think you would. I didn't finish. So this is the funniest part about Jackass, and I think you would. Really this would be your

favorite prank. They go Johnny Knockaville open. He goes, we weren't going to do another It almost sounded like another Godfather the way he was talking about it. He's like, we never thought we would do another Jackass. And then Tremaine, Jeff Tremaine or whatever the other guys like, we never thought. And then Johnny looks at the camera earnestly goes, but I've been writing for ten years, and I knew I

had to get what I've been writing filmed. Like he talked about like what he's writing is like it can't be more than what we write on our phone in terms of notes of like literally, nephew, like that's what his his. There's no writing that I understand. I called what I do writing too, but it's really just two words in a note. But I would never do writing is more so the first he cuts in the first interview, and it's just a guy putting a tube in his

ass with hot sauce. And I'm like, I gotta see this. I gotta I want to see I want to copious notes that he has taken to write. What you think to draw like a stick figure thents. What if it's like a fifteen page, beautifully written thing about a guy putting hot sauce in his asshole? Oh my god, I was crying, dude, I was crying. Just how seriously he was the only person I ever interviewed that. I was just like, yeah, he didn't he was kid right, I'm

not gonna. I don't like when people go I don't like the celebrity because the one time I met him wasn't nice to me because he who knows what he was going through that day. He might have been up played right deadline, Dude. Every scene is them putting things in their asshole. So maybe I was just sad because something's coming out of yours. I mean, hot sauce inside your asshole. And then they put a popsicle in his asshole to cool it off, and then the guy ate

the pops That's what Johnny wrote. Can you know, sorry, I that's porn. I watched every single day people's Yeah. Yeah, so you know what's funny? Like I thought like if Johnny Naxo was born like five years ago, he would just be those fucking weird people that would come up with different ways to torture. Yeah. Have you ever been in one of those torture room? I remember, I don't remember when I went, but I saw the table where they would like the thing, the thing that just won

the hell why that stratched? But you know they would do that to people. They would have two horses going opposite directions and go like go, and they don't diet, and then they'd rip you apart. That's a fast one. But um man, the one that really gets me, is like the iron cattle or the iron bull, the iron bull, I think it's called. They have this gigantic, hollowed out

iron bull. It looks like a cow and they put a person in it naked, and then they put it underneath a flame and it slowly like heats up and just burned. You're just like, I mean, sorry to everyone listening, um, but that's how you make a good porterhouse man. I thought some really fucking uh disgusting creative ways to torture people, because like the Saw movie franchise, I'm you know, I've talked about it before. I like to read about squid game. I like to read about like really morbid things. I

don't like to see them. But Saw, I love to read the ways in which they've creatively came up with people like to die and like the worst ways. And I've oh I've got that other a final destination. Oh yeah, that one's good too. That's where you start looking at It's like this rackets about the murder me, how would this racket fall and murder me? Um? That that really nothing. I can't think of anything creative with that, honestly, But nothing in this room and electrical man I thought someone

was broken in my apartment today. I was going to murder me. I was in the shower and I heard like a door open, like like someone's and I thought it was maybe you, and I go, no, he doesn't. He would never come by this early. There's no chance that's happening. So I pulled back the curtain. I'm just like listening and Almoso like, and I don't want the dogs with me, so I'm like, funk they would they

would be barking of someone. Then I realized I always locked my bedroom too, so I'm like, so this asshole has to get through two doors. So I was like, I'm is gonna hurry up and finish the shower. And then I just was like, I accepted that I'm going to die. There's nothing I can do right now that is going to prevent me from dying. If there is someone in my house with a knife, I'm dead. There's no me getting out and getting it. Like, so I'm

gonna get I'm gonna be dead and less wet. If I get a towel, I'm gonna like, I just I just like, I'm just gonna still finish my shower because I'm not going to die, but nothing right now, I have no weapons, so wait, so what happened? Do you think someone came in andto it was? I went out? Um, eventually I left the apartment to go get something, and I saw in the in the hallway there's like a maintenance crew, so they were just some bang that happened

out there. They're working on something, so it must have been that. But um, I really it was. It's a weird moment to go. I should just finish washing myself because there's nothing I can do. It's there's really I just looked around the bathroom and I kind of was like, what would I grab? I got nothing? Is there any

part of you? I mean a small gun in your room just in case, a little small gun just because it'd be cute what they delivers or something stop a perpetrator and if she had, Yeah, guns would be too complex. I mean I even learned from you know, my book Columbine that um, Eric Harris broke his own nose with his gun because he didn't know and he practiced with guns a lot, and he broke his own nose from

the back charge of it. And uh, that was one of the reasons he killed himself so early and didn't kill as many people because he was just like frustrated that he broke his nose. Really, the things you learn when you read a book about mass shootings and then a mass shooting happens and then you're like, oh my god, I mean I listened. I literally posted yesterday, Guys, you should read this book park Land about mass shootings because it'll teach you a lot about the like I like.

And then that guy that wrote that book is like, he's the one that gets called in to talk about these things every time they happen, And on his Instagram story is my repost yesterday of him being like, thanks for celebrating my book and then getting makeup to go on TV to talk about this fucking thing. I can't even believe. I did not know about yesterday's thing until nine o'clock at night. I don't know how I missed it.

I got like one alert on my phone, and I don't even pay attention to alerts, and usually alerts unless they say like breaking, and they don't really do breaking anymore, because I guess too many people got I just saw maya news alert did not say breaking. It just said a school and blah blah blah. And sometimes they get alerts that are like a school is doing a new kind of book band, and I'm like, I don't give a funk about that. So I see school and I

don't even think anything of it. And and I didn't know about till nine o'clock at night, and then we look at a phone and we go, Mike, eighteen fucking children. I mean, when Sandy Hook happened, that was but that was Sandy Look, that was combine, was contain plus two sandy look was like yeah, and it was young kids. I mean, it was just but I remember that being like almost like that was the biggest thing to happen

in months and months. This just felt like oh yeah, And I go weed, eighteen kids, Why is this not being governed? I just don't understand. I feel like it just doesn't didn't make as big of an impact. The fact that I, who am on my phone all day, did not know about it. I feel like nine, I feel like, whatever to get your hopes up or whatever, which is on Ford, but it was in Texas, which is the biggest gun happy state. Wait to get my hopes up? What? No, no no, no, get our hopes up?

In regards to like any kind of reform is going to happen. Oh, nothing's gonna happen. But I'm done. I have no hope. I'm really one of these people. I don't care. I don't I'm ready to give up because it's it's done. Climate changes, we're gonna humanity is over. Guys, count us out, like no one's going to change anything because I know. But I'm just saying if I would, I need. I just need to sit this one out.

I got. I'm just tired of caring because they're not going to do anything after reading this column, then it will never change. I'm out. At some point, your know, at some point you're on that stretching table and you're going, oh, I hope something happens where this isn't gonna happen, and you just have to accept your fate. That's how I feel. I'm I feel like we are on. But when his daughter asked him, why do you still perform and then

he couldn't say anything, I like that. I like that question because why do anything then if everything's going to go to ship because you you know, um, it's just I can't. This is why I don't get excited about things anywhere, because when they don't happen, I get so sad and it makes it ruins my life to be

in constant states of disappointment about I get that. So if I stop caring what the Republicans I know they won't do, then they can't hurt me, Like if I don't, if I don't have if I have zero expectations for them, because I have zero anymore. They're heartless, money grubbing, disgusting, deplurab like just there the people. I don't even know how they get away with it anymore of just these. Even yesterday I posted they said, Matthew McConaughey hinted at

gun reform. How do you hint about gun reform? Hinting like oh, what a break? And then that makes a news headline? Why because it's bad that he hinted, or because he should be making a headline that he hinted about? Who cares? No, I know That's what I'm saying that I just this is why I can't care, because it makes me so upset because it just doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense, but I can I Yes, I'm not trying to like judge your caring, no way, the

world's gonna end whatever. People don't realize. And it's like the Carlin thing when Roseanne was interviewing him and like, no, you actually you do care so much that when nothing happens, then you're like, yeah, that's why I can't care anymore, because people want to see that you do care them, because when you just go, I don't care because everything's gonna end, they don't realize it's because you care that much.

And I'm not saying that you're public whatever persona because so point being, he bought the guns legally as an eighteen year old. He bought three rounds. What Like who the fuck? Like how is it not a cut off a teenager? An assault? I mean, I'm just saying we're going to take their guns, Like why do they get to do everything to our why do they get to

slowly cut things from um women's health care? And we go, we know what is going You're gonna take everything, And then you get mad at us and go, we're not gonna take everything, even though you actually do and that is your goal, even though you say you're not going to ever overturn Roe versus way, and then that's ultimately what you do when you're chopping away at it slowly,

and that is what you do. And then when we say all we want is more gun reform, we want to be able to have background checks on people before they guns guns. We want to have longer waiting periods. We want we don't want teenagers to have assault right, but we want registries that are actually digitized and not in just these old books. Nothing's in a fucking computer. That's what we want. And you say, no, we know where this is going. You're gonna take away our guns.

Why don't you believe us when we say we're I'm going to because you don't because you know that you don't do it. That's why you're you. You're scared of yourselves because you know you have no backbone. You know you have nefarious um goals that you are putting into place, so you know it's all projection. They think we're gonna do exactly what they're doing to us, which is lie, when really all we want is for children not to die. Have your fucking guns. I don't give a funk if

you like guns, have your hobby. I don't care. How is this I mean, this is ad naus. I mean, who isn't feeling this way? This is the thing that bothers me? How could this is? There's no if you look in this this Parkland book I'm reading ninety, it's like nine of people, even gun owners, agree that they're should be background checks for people before they get guns. The guy in the book says, there's nothing politically that the country agrees on wise, there's literally nothing except this.

Yet they still won't budge because there's that ten percent and the people in the n r A that convinced everyone that that means they're going to take all the guns if we give, if we budge even an inch. So the n r AS platform is we don't budge an inch because they'll take everything. So we state the way it is. And it's like what other, what other any other entity works that way where there's no like being like, oh, let's tweak this. That's why they're called amendments.

That happened because we didn't get it right the first time. You have to amend things. They look. I looked at how much money the n r A is giving. It's not even that much. I mean's not even that much. Is a million dollars to someone a lot of money is a million dollars worth fucking hundreds of kids dying? Not even close. The most mid Roundney gets fourteen million,

but mostly it's around like a million dollars. So for a million dollars where you're already all these people are already making good money, like they have money coming in from all over the place, you know what I mean. Like it's not like, oh, you have zero dollars, here's a million dollars for dead kids. And then they're like, okay, wow, a million dollars got to change my whole life. These fuckers already have millions of dollars. So it's like, and we need to stop talking. I don't want to look

at that guy's face. I don't want to see I don't want to know the guy's name that didn't I don't want to see his face. I don't want anytime you see that turn it off, you guys. And years later, the book I'm reading does not mention the killer. Colum Mine did because that was already out. I don't even know the name of the Parkland guys. He calls him the killer the entire time. There's no pictures, nothing. Someone sent me something about Parkland, and it had the killer's

face in it. I'm like, I don't want to see that kid. Give him nothing, because the reason these shootings keep happening is because these kids want to be famous. They they they all there's some huge like this is all in the Parkland book because he breaks down why this keeps happening, and people don't understand it's because we glorify these people, because we we um put them in the news constantly, constantly talking about them, and these guys

want to be remembered. They want to go down in infamy. And if we stopped talking with these people, they all of these shooters, they go in and they look at what they've been doing, the notes that they have, you know, all the writing they've been doing, all the and they always worship other school shooters. They always they always have a hero complex about these people that we've built up in the media. So it is the media's job to stop talking about these killers in the sense of like, oh,

I could do all this, and I might. They were suicidal. Oh yeah, this guy died, and he died the way that the combat and kids wanted to die. But the Combine kids did not get to go doing a shootout with the cops. That is a way of glory of going out, is being they haven't all built in their head. I read about this kid. He had a lisp. No, I don't even want to talk about We're not talking about the kid the list. Honestly, Let's get to the news.

Let's do one good news story. Lebron first, Lebron James feet see the basketball player shooting someone, those things like, don't come on, do you want to say your thing that you say for the news? Yeah? Apparently. Yeah, it's Wednesday, folks. You know what that means. It is Wednesday. I hope you're having all the swells out there that. Um. I know it's tough right now, but I don't know that. It's not a joke. It's just being honest. It'll happen

again and again and again. It's just gonna keep happening. Don't you know this is the last one? Unfortunately? No? Uh okay, so uh this new star I was inspired by your Instagram live yesterday where you took everyone around your crib a tour of my house and everyone how dirty I am and how messy everything is, just so they could feel better about themselves. It gave me an idea. I'm sure, man, shower, have you ever seen an in Sino man, I'll show you once when he when they find,

they find, they find. You're not spoiling anything for me, by the way. I know, I know, I know. I'm just trying to they find the caveman because there's like a muddy because I didn't. But I wasn't like avoiding anything. I would have showed them that, yeah there's footprints of my like spray tand but look now, okay, so no, what were you inspired by? Okay? So I was just looking up, um, you know, articles about why people buy stuff, and I found something very interesting. You can't buy your

way to happiness. Don't fall into the retail therapy traps. So an estimated one to the population suffers from shopping addiction, a compulsion to buy more even in the face of mounting debt, as people struggle with anxiety, O, c D and other mental health issues. I'm not saying this is your thing. This is just well, you know, point taken. So here's here's what the marketing and shopping relies on. Shopping feels good when we're unhappy because it makes us

feel like we're taking action, psychologists have found. But if you frequently use shopping to improve your spirits, you might be vulnerable to manipulative ads and website designs. Tricks like faux flash sales, meaningless countdown timers, and designs that lead you to click more expensive options are called dark patterns, and research researchers at Princeton found thousands of examples by

crawling through the code of e commerce sites. I mean, there's so many things that get me all the time of like, yeah, fifty to sixty off already like and then you get a discount at you get to type in a promo code, so it makes it feel like you're doing something to to get that discount. Then you but it's already so high price, so it's not even intention. Bloomingdale's is having a sale right now that's like fifty percent off already marked down prices, and it's like, how

do you not fall for that? And then I go and I'm looking at it. I'm just like, this isn't like something special for me, this is for everyone. This is yeah there, it's already so marked up. This is so stupid, you know what you know? When I I buy clothes when I don't feel good about myself, which is kind of what she's saying. When I'm like exercising and feeling like, I'm like, oh, I could look good in a regular plain T shirt. I don't need anything to make me feel like I look good. That in

my mind, that's what happens with me. It's like when I'm more confident in myself and feeling you know, I don't know you buy things you need to dress up the fact that you're miserable. Yes, And so that's usually what happens with my brain. Like I remember I was in a store. I was like, I don't need a new pair of gene. I'm I look good in my jeans like the ones I already had. Like because I feel good about my buy things for sure to feel better.

Like I definitely get in those streaks of like wanting to buy a lot of stuff, like buying like like I'm obsessed buying toys for Poppy and Harlow, like I just because it's for me. It's almost like um, stuff I didn't get as a child that I really wanted, or like just knowing how much it would lift my spirits as a kid, like getting toys as a kid. It's just it's like it was when you get that one like dollar bill to oh my god, when you

get cash as a kid. I don't know if they even know what cash is now, but as a kid, when my grandpa he fucking a request give that money back that you lent them. Yeah, I definitely do retail therapy, And it's really embarrassing to admit that because I'm I feel like I am a savvy consumer, but you really can't outsmart. You're subconscious that these people know how to act and like all the things that they convince you. So take me through a step of like where are

you seeing the are you seeing the ad on? Like? Where are you seeing these ads that get you? Um? Usually you're not on TikTok because that's a good one. They really Instagram. Um an add will come up where I go no. But usually it's it's things that I convinced myself when I seek them out and I find them, but they don't they make it me feel like I've found it. Really they found me. It's like we've been

playing whole time. Yes, So The Strategist, New York Times, The Cut Magazine, The New York Times magazine has a blog called The Strategist, and it's about consumerism. It's like just people who like to buy things and like buying the best of something, which interests me because I want to buy quality things. But that's how New York Times.

It's for smart people or just lay out really like really savvy, chic um good taste people like with good taste, people who are doing a lot of consumer reviews and like so it's always like, um, you know fashion designers favorite pair of jeans and it's like, Okay, well I gotta get these or so that. A lot of times I will go to the Strategists and I will look through that, or it'll be like, you know, Lily Reinhart's things she can't live Without, and I'm like, let me

just see what she can't live without. That's why I have all these new like throat, cough, drop things is because um, there's like there's a Rob Thomas did like ten things I Can't live Without on The Strategist and one of them was these throats. Throats actually is off. Q has the ten Things I Can't live Without videos too, and I'm like, yeah, I look around, I snoop around those Yeah, it's like if they can't live without them,

I can't live without them. But you know what, I guess that's better than almost like being like, oh I need thirty thou Red bottoms, Like there could be the other way. At least you're looking for deals to get like good things, and I'm looking now that I have money, I'm trying to spend a lot of money on things that will last me forever, Like I really would love to just not to get to a place. I'm trying to get to a place where I don't buy things, so I just want to buy stuff that yeah, jerky.

I want all my shoes to be made of beef jerky. I went, I went to a golf place today and freeze right ice cream. And you know, I have these two putters that I don't use anymore that I can trade in, which six months ago I would have already traded in and I would have gotten new iron and I hit these irons and the old me would have bought them, and I'll go, I like like I can somehow. You know, you just do something so much that your

brain just goes this isn't this is an impulse. At least you got to hit them, you don't need them. In a week, they'll just be regular irons and you're gonna want different. Like, yeah, you can already see it. It's so hard to in the moment. It's so hard. Yeah, I mine is always impulsive. I never buy things. If I have a plan to buy something, it won't happen. If I'm like, I need to get a new car. I mean, I've been looking for a new car for

two years. The thing you might have a new car if if you could have just like that, add to car by because it's for me, it's always compulsive and impulsive. So actually them taking so long, it's the reason why I don't have a car. It's a h reason I don't have a car because I just don't feel like sitting. I would have bought that car the other day, but I just did not. I would have a car right now. If it didn't take three hours, I would have many cars.

That's what I'm saying. They're just saving you. You would have your own jay Leno would have a lot more guitars if you, um, if I could, like, if guitars weren't so based on like once I get them in my hands, how they're going to feel. This all goes back to you. If you can't easily buy a gun, you probably want to get a gun as much. It's just like that fucking simple dude. You might think about

things a little bit more. There might be more things that might intervene between you take three hours to get a gun. If it takes three hours to get a car, give me seven hours to get a gun. You have to sit in a room for seven hours. Yeah, and people go, you're going to come after? Point is like, you can't drink until you're twenty one. Why do you get to have a gun. Because you gotta look cool before you can't drink. You gotta saunter into that saloon.

You know, a gun I want? I want that lighter gun. That's pretty cool. Oh yeah, god, it's just that's what seven hours, seven hours, seven hours. That is really funny. The way time should be as long as car dealer chefs. Yes, and you have to go through the whole process. They gotta sell you. They gotta be like, well, and then you gotta go through all the shitty jokes that they tell you. But no, you just go to Walmart. You go, hey, I'll take that a r fifteen that could kill three

people in three seconds. There you. Ari has a story. Our friend Ari he uh he worked at um like uh sporting Did you read his story? He worked at Sporting. Good story story store story about a store. He this guy came up to him, asked for a fucking gun, and then when he went to grab the gun, the guy like went to grab it without putting his fingerprints on it and are He goes, I'm I can't. I can't. I can't sell this to a guy that doesn't want to grab it with his own hands. So then he

goes to his supervisor. He goes, I don't feel comfortable, Supervisor felt. Supervisor goes, you go over to this section, and well, I take care of this customer because I want to make commission on this game. Dude, you don't give a fuck. People just don't give a fuck. It's all about making money. You can stand to make yourself feel better. It all comes full circle. Let's why do I care? What's the movie? Why do I care about? All? Right? No? Why do I care? So they don't care about the

lost stuff. I've given up caring. But let's see if I care about this because I can see Maya Henry's belongings are still at ex Liam Paine's house as the singer goes public with new love, Aliana mala. Okay, so he had a baby, right, or she had a baby with him, right, I don't know what the one. I don't know any of the one direct I don't I don't think so they're very I mean there's I think Liam, it's the other one that Zane had a baby. Maybe Liam did feel like Liam had a baby with an

older someone that's older, like nine years right right, right? Right? Yeah? Maybe? Well anyway, she's her things are still at his place. So her belongings are still at his at his place, A pal says, and um uh so basically her car and stuff is that the singer's house. This is such a blow for Maya. She's making arrangements to get her belongings out of his house so she can move on

and forget they were ever together. Um. And I wanted to know, have you guys ever lost something in a breakup because you just didn't want to go pick it up? Just my heart? Well besides that, I've kept, you've kept, yeah, because it was just too much to get back. And I also thought that if I gave it back, the person would probably throw it away. And I actually want this thing, and it's tough for you with returns, maybe eighteen episodes. What if your ex boyfriend gave you a

return late. That's a good idea. That's a business x X return labels. It's not a bad business. Yeah, I like that. That's hilarious. But did you not want to see him face to face and give it to him? No? I think it was just it was like a birthday present I had given him that I thought was really cool that he didn't like. And so right, I just sensed he didn't like care about as much as I thought it was cool. And I thought, if I give this to him, it'll probably remind him of me and

he probably won't keep it. So I'm just gonna keep it because I like it was painting teking you in my living room and he sees it every time it comes over. But it's true, like I think that he just didn't like it that much. And like sometimes I do this, I buy guests for people and they and I think it's great, and I think they're gonna think it's great because I think it's so great. And then they don't those earrings you got me, Yeah, my parents to them. Maybe you need to get your earspers somewhere

and have those, that's true. I could just repair some one that my dad said was infected with gay pretty much. But you know, you know he didn't say it was. Again, you never had any girlfriends that you've like exchanged stuff with though. Besides the oh god, gross fluid is also another word, mucus. Terrible word. I mean, who's tossing that word around? It's like, I don't think any It's not a word you hear a lot outside of sickness. Yeah, music next, that little bugger guy, Oh yeah, that's a

good mascot. I like it. It definitely makes you want to buy the product. If I could get rid of that guy, if I can inconvenience that disgruntled overwork alcoholic booger in my nose like a pusive to his family, I'll get him out. I'm going to have victim. No. Mucas came up because Brenna was sick again and had mucu is coming out of her eyes. Mucus eyes brand eyes. Yeah, I don't know, No, that's an infection. Then mucus is in fact, she's on antibiotics, and I thought she got

COVID again and two in a month. No COVI, just old school old Yeah, yeah, dude, remember those Yeah, I mean sinus infection. Oh yeah, I used to get all the time. I was like chronics. I think I had a science I'm not kidding. Yellow and mine was always yellow, it was orange. Mine was Sienna burnt Sienna. And I'm like, dad, so I need help. Let's get to her Wednesday Wild Card segment. We're doing finish my sentence, but it's not finished my sentence. We're doing finish my where eats order.

Uber Eats, of course, is the app that you can get, you know, stuff delivered from restaurants, but now they can deliver pretty much anything, pretty much anything, not actually anything, but you can get anything from the uber eats app

within reason. So Andrew and I decided to uh do a little experiment where we try to finish each other's Uber Eats orders where we get things that are you know, like you can get stuff other than stuff at restaurants, Like I always thought Uber eats is just restaurants, but now you can get stuff from pharmacies, like the stuff that you need around the house, grocery items that you

might need. So um, if you check out the uber eats app, you can see in your area what kind of stuff you can get, and it really is like almost just about anything that you need, household items, grocery items that you think, oh, uber eats doesn't have that they actually do. So check it out and you'll see what we got each other. So Andrew piduck grocery items for me because last time I did his grocery order and this time, um, I placed his pharmacy order. UM

and got things for him from a pharmacy. He got things for me from a grocery store. And now we're going to go through each other's orders that we placed for each other, trying to get the order as correct as possible that each other would make if we were up to it on our own. And you yourself, just like me, and Andrew can order with the uber eats app today. All right, Andrew, you want to go through what you got me first, and yours was grocery items.

I'm dying to know what you got me. I really hope you did a good job because I want I actually want things I'm going to use. Okay, but here's the thing. You're not easy to shop for, especially grocery wise. That's not true. I couldn't be more explicit about what I like. I'm I've been on the grocery app and there are many things on there that I liked that I didn't get for me because I wasn't able to place it because I was placing it for you last

week store, same store. There were things on there that I go, God, I hope Andrew gets this for me. Eventually, I said. It is always just very hard me because I feel like, how can my friends ever think that I would need band aids three weeks after I bought them? Yeah, but your band aids again, the ones you got me were gigantic ones that you used to cover up a gunshot wound. Sorry ham trip, But like I need little ones. Yeah, but you had that intruder just a few hours ago.

That's a good point. All right, Well you're right, Okay, go on, I see you by the way. I do you know he doesn't see you this grocery store. All right. I got you your favorite bubbly water. I got you Seltzer water from a place in Texas that you really like. Ok. I like that of those and big daddy ones. Okay,

like I got you your favorite. I know you don't make coffee at home, but in case you do eventually, or if you want more and they're not putting enough, and that's always a good thing that like you if you have one of those coffee makers with the pods. I got you in milk. Oh, you got me almond milk to put in Okay, great, now is it? Well? Let me how many how much sugar is in this almond milk? You can keep it? Go on? There wasn't zero gram. I'm guessing there probably was. Here's the thing

to a quarter of it? That's true. No, no, no no, no, I'll actually use that. I'll use that. But it's a it's a little still seen I'm seeing man. Okay, you're not a huge gackhead anymore. No, but I will. I'll get back into walk. I need, you know what, I need a gateway walk to get me back into it because I forget. Sometimes you forget how much you love a food. And that's one I'm actually craving right now. A rice cake. People think I eat rice cakes because

it's like it's anorect sic food. I love the consistency of a rice cake. I love how you know we talked about peanutver and jelly sandwich. Is the bottom of your lunch bag? How they absorbed the peanutter and jelly. I like that a rice cake absorb. I just love the consistency. So I will put clacamole on a rice cake immediately. Okay, I got you your favorite protein bars? Oh really? Are they ones that don't have any dairy in them? Yes? Based on the name, Okay, yes, love it?

And is it is the flavor possibly something that I'll be celebrating next week? They didn't have that? Okay, Well, still I like all those flavors a lot, and they just I know the bar you're talking about. They recently READID the chemistry of it. So it's a lot, like not a lot. So many? How many grams? What? Six? How much? I don't know. They're like two grams. I think that those bars have like two grams total sugar, but total carbs. I don't give to talk about carbs.

Maybe let's go back on this almond milk. Yeah, I'm talking about sugar my in oh five sometimes the Net. It's a great documentary about a guy that I don't. I think the whole carb graze is just so stupid. And I know that people are gonna write to me me and be like, Nikki, your comments about sugar are really triggering me today. You know what they trigger me to. I'm just being honest with myself. Sugar is something that I get obsessed with and I don't like a lot

of it because I don't bost my teeth enough. And also carbs. I don't give a funk about carbs. The nets. There's net sugar, so I learned about I want to talk about. Oh, they used the fibers to subtract. I learned about fibers of nets. Fibers and nets, which is a new movie coming out from Okay. Is that is that what you got for me? Is there one more thing? One more thing? And this is I think really seen. I feel like you don't have this enough around the house. O. God?

Is it pepper? It is the condiment. It's a seasoning blend, which I just love a seasoning blend. What kind of seasoning are we talking about? You don't want to give a you know, a brand name, but you can say what kind it is? Like a mixture. I don't know what's in here? We'll just tell Okay, oh she's married. The woman that made this, this this blend is married. She is married, but you know what she could leave in any second? Oh yeah, okay, what's it you got onions?

How much sodium are we talking in this thing? What percentage of my daily sero? Really? Herbs? It's hers? Oh? I love it, I love You're just changing my life, Andrew, good job you did. Okay, let me get to yours. I know what you got me. You got me my anus. Okay, well I know it is this week earlier this week that you had your hair was a little bit fluffier and poofier in the front. And you had told me that you used a gel correct a paste, A paste? No, no, no, okay,

I'm styling cream, a styling cream. And I thought, you know what would maybe work better for him is a styling moose. So you got you a curl moose. Then a moose people who don't wear moose anymore, Yeah, moose is a very popular thing for curls. Um And then I got you, um, so you told us about the tale that's coming out? Yeah, yeah, so I got you medicated wipes that hemorroidal wipes with Witch Hazel their maximum

strength formula. They're flushable, they're cooling, soothing, gentle soft, they're individually wrapped for convenience, and they're easy to use for hemroidal and vaginal care. So you know Brenna can use to use. Well, um, yeah, don't do that. That sounds great. I love those. I love those. Yeah, so that'll feel good. You can just keep those in your wallet next to condoms or whatever. I guess you don't use. Then I got you. Um, I know you love Oh. I got

you this thing. I don't think I've ever heard you really try this. But if you ever have sleep problems, especially on the road, if you're having trouble getting to sleep, I got you melatonin in a very low dose, the lowest jose I've ever seen. And they're gummies so that your boy, your boy will eat well. This will keep you from meeting them because you will fall sleep you eat things. So then I also got you. Um, this is cool. I like putting moose on a little asshole. Jo.

This one you're gonna like now. Um. This is for when you go up to the golf course or you're ever outside. It's very masculine, but it is. Do you wear a SPF on your face? Need to so good that you do? I got you thing that is for it's it's like branded for men. It's kind of like it's UM seventy plus SPF UM. It won't cause your pores resist sweat off an oxybend zone free. It's water resistant for eighty minutes, and it is for it's for sports,

and it's number one dermatologists recommended. I didn't know either, remember putting on like fifteen as a kid. So and then I also got direct to skin heat wraps. These are powerful pain They're hot therapy to ease away the pain plus deep muscle relaxation. And I'm keeping these because I never got by heating pad, so I got myself these and it was a lot cheaper than the heating bad.

By the way, this was, this was a fraction of the I almost bought myself eating bad, but it would have cut into your supplies too much, so I got these for myself. What's SPF stand for? That's when you get that, Charlie both Yes, when you get a hair in your mouth, you um son protection forever. I just want to know how to break it down. I just don't know what. Oh, you know what it is. I think it's the minutes it lasts. It says, Oh yeah,

it's like that's the amount. It's like, if you would burn in three minutes, this will make you burn seventy times that like, you can go seventy times three for the amount of time that you won't burn. It's some protection factor. Okay, So isn't it like whatever the number is, it's that you can times the amount of time it would take you to get burnt, Like, you'll get burnt seventy times. What do you do? What I'm saying? No?

What is she saying? So it's eifen even one minute, if you get burnt, this will make it go to fifteen minutes, it'll take you to bird, So fifteen times the amount of time, God, seventy minutes. You could probably not it could be wrong, but that's if you get burn in one minute, if it takes you fifteen minutes to get it's seventy times fifteen minutes. Seventy times the amount of makes sense. Yeah, so it's got to be thick.

Are you excited about any of the items I got in your I'm excited to put that on my nose and act like, you know, an old lifeguard. Well, let's not zinc. It's going to rub in. Do you want to try it now? Do you want me to give you a little bit, Yeah, put a little on there. I'm going out in the sun. There you go, rub it, rub it all over this. It is not going to clog your voice. I think Brenna will be appreciated, like will like it because it's you know, um perfect. Yeah,

and this heat wrap. I'm so excited to get this going. My period is until no stay away. He's practicing being a lifeguard away hundred yards away from the pier. They're fishing. They're fishing. I know you want a boogieboard. That's where the waves are. But I'm sorry, seriously, no, rub it all in, Andrew, rub it all in, get away. I always wanted to be that guy. And then they get angrier and angrier. Yes, I watched last night. I watched

um So. By the way, anyone can use the Uber eats app, so make sure you try out getting just random grocery items, things that you need from the pharmacy. Just you know, any of the stuff that we just ordered you can get right away to your door, your front door, so much faster than making a whole trip of it. Because sometimes you just need one or two things.

You don't want to make a whole grocery store trip because then you go and you end up spending so much more money than you would if you just got someone to go get it for you. You don't have to leave. Treat yourself. Try the uber eas app today. Final thought, Um, last night, are you watching Love on the Spectrum? The USA USA, the U S Edition? It's really really good. God, I love that show so much.

It's sweet, it's everything that this, um you know the other episodes where yeah, um, I was also watching the new Ricky Gervais special. What do you think I didn't watch enough of it? Yeah, but so so I went from jackass, Okay, I want to hear someone actually talking. I just put who actually wrote yeah, And then I was like, I don't want that either. I don't know what I want. And then I put on Ricky Gervas fan. I'm a fanish of him. He comes off a little

pompous to me, but I obviously appreciate his work. Um what you call it? And then I put on Letterman interviewing someone, and I hated that I couldn't find anything that like, oh yeah, for the this is my next guest or was Cardi B And it was just like it was I'm very uncomfortable watching a Letterman right now. I just I don't like when people come out of

retirement to do things. I'm just like, go relax. Like it makes me sad because it makes me realize that like because I project, and I think that someday I'm going to want to quit, and then I'll quit doing whatever I'm doing, and like I just finally have time to hang out with my family and leisure time, and I'm going to want to keep working and I'm not going to really have the same like Gusto that I had before. There's just something I just want Letterman to

just go. But your celebrity status, right like, I think you're fusing what's up? What's up? I just know that I'm not going to be running on any wet surfaces if you're around, I'm scared to get yelled at. Look it's not I just want the best for what's on the beach. I'm not like somebody. I do not relate a lifeguard do being on the beach. I related them to being at a pool. Rusty was a lifeguard my ex business partner. Wait, what's the thing that you're going

to say about David Letterman and my celebrity status. You said he interviews like what you considered the A of the A list, and that kind of annoys me, Like, and I'm not even close to like that world to think. You know, I've had dreams of Letterman interviewing you where he came to my house. Wait, that's what was your dream? Yeah, he came to me. That wasn't even a show yet. He was only still doing his studio. When when you were dreaming of him coming to Wyoming, are you in Wyoming?

I've never even heard you say that word. I already retired and I was living on a pasture. I already made enough money. Letterman still alive when you're retired? Yeah, I hit a big fantasies making no fucking sense. What's that one movie? Um? Hangover? Okay, but go on, So I was kind of that realm. You know, what's his name? Alf GalF Nakis lives off the Grid? Okay? Oh oh, I was not his character in the movie. Know him now? Okay? I pictured myself as a Bill Murray ish, I'll come back.

Letterman still had his late night show that you would fantasize about him interviewing you, and it wouldn't even be in his studio, would be on your farm in Wyoming, which wasn't the thing that Letterman wasn't doing, like house call, No, not yet. Okay, So whoever annoys you because you are you, you think I will never be able to be interviewed by him that and it just comes off very like elitist, elitist,

And that's the same thing that I don't like. Elitist is um and it's someone Letterman supposed to be a man of the people that just like it's like funny and like doesn't take celebrity too seriously. That was the whole thing, that was his whole thing. Now he's worshiping Cardie and Billie Eilish, no offense to them their extraordinary talents. But like, I just don't buy he's never he's a comedian,

He's not an interviewer. Letterman was never someone that was like getting the truth out of people, like I want to see Katie Kuric interview someone I would see Meredith Beer I want to see you know, I don't even know like Brian ed Bradley, but David Letterman, he's supposed to do comedy. Why is he going to the words? Exactly how I feel? And then I go, you know what, though, it goes back to him going to Wyoming, him going to them. He's losing all his power. He had power

when he had the show, he had the desk. You had to impress him. Now he's trying to impress something. I feel like he has dropped a little bit of that, like ego, and so he's a little bit more like receptive to like getting to know people and being interested in them as opposed to like in Yes, that's the problem, but guess who isn't who isn't innested in a lists? It brings us back to everything like everyone wants money, everyone wants fame. That's everyone I know. But I just

I I have trouble getting caught. And I'm excited though, because he interviewed my friend Robin Tran, she's transgender comedian for that Netflix Is a Joke Festival, and did an interview with Robin, and Robin is by no means an a list or, and I thought that that's gonna be cool. I can't wait to see that rose. But got interviewed by letter. It was like a stand up showcase kind of thing. Oh my god, Oh right, okay, well that's

gonna be so good. Um, but Ricky Gervais is special. Um. He comes out of the gate and like, I know that he would say no, I would. I would know that he would say, like, take a joke like this is why there are no funny female comics, because they all He comes out of the gates saying there are no funny women, and he makes he doubles down on the joke so many times even though he says, now that's funny because it's obviously I'm saying something that isn't true,

that many funny women, like um, eddie is it? And then he got like he goes on to keep saying women aren't funny, And yes, I don't. I don't think Break Eat Your Rays really thinks that women aren't funny and that there aren't funny women. But I do believe that him saying that makes people who are dumb think that they're on funny one. And then that who really gives a ship If I get to be successful but it does affect Yeah, and there's truth inside. They're they're laughing.

He's saying we noticed a joke, but I would say audiences like, yeah, there aren't funny women. All Right, we gotta go. You gotta sink on your nose. This is the end of the shows and it's been a good run. We got one more to do tomorrow. Um, things are won't be filled so much with sorrow, but they probably will because it's gonna keep happening. Nothing's gonna change. And it's not because I don't care. I do care a lot. You should watch the Carlon documentary to get the reference

that Andrew made before. Um, this rap is uninspired, but I'm starting to perspire because it's not going well. And that's what happens when I start to bomb, I start to sweat, I start to feel wet, I start to regret starting this rap. And to take it from here, it's really becoming spoken word is like I'm just too tired. I'll break it. I'll bring it up. Come on, bring it up. Man. Yo, you might want to back up a little bit because I'm about to spit. Yeah, I

spit far like my fucking hemorrhoid tail. I'll fucking put zincon because I never fail. If you're getting close to the pier, you better stay away because it ain't happening here. I'll take a crab out of the sand. I'll have a claw your nuts. I'll put it on jackass and say Johnny knocked the road it with his fucking pen. Yeah, good, have you stepped it? You gotta go. We love one more. Start tomorrow. It's round out the week. Can't wait to see you. Then, thank you so much for listening to

the show. Trying to uber eats app Uh, don't be right that I did. He did, He did for me