#224 STEM by Me

the owl. I didn't have a chance to hoot and holler with her about the owl? Love it? Andrew? Was she rolling around too? I want to No? No, she she had just brought her sister into class, who was a part of the class. So this was, okay, what's going on with your socks? What's the story? There? Is this another case of I didn't look before I bought socks. They're like polka dot black black socks with polka dots with like J Max And so when did you become

a naccinista? I don't know. I was in the Hampton's. I went to t J max It's seven ninety nine for dress socks for Hannah's weddings. They gave you an assortment and at first I was like, you know what, I wish I just got all great one on black ones. No, they're kind of fun. They like they accessorized outfit a little bit. You know, I'm just silly and I like to show it through my fashion. Your shoes are are returning blue? Is that just my eyes? So these shoes

you pay extra and they come dirty? Is that real? Yeah? They're an Italian band, Italian brand, Theodora. Oh and you pay came scuffed up like that? Why did you not get the white ones? I like them a little scuffy. It makes it look like I walked down the Italian stuff. Why don't you buy all your shoes scuffed up? Why have some shoes that look nice? The way that tongue is to the side, will you just please put that in the middle. It is going to bother me what

the tongue is like to the side? How so can you get it for me? Are you kidding me? Yeah? No, I know, I boy that is I would have easily done that. Yes, Oh god, how much did you pay for those? I don't know too much something like that. Yeah, those who has those? Mac Miller in his video right before he died. Oh so those are not in fashion for at least four years. You know, I'd like to bring him back, you know, I p Yeah, I got him in low tops or mid top two and they

but they weren't scuffed up. So I don't know, man, I've never seen him you wear this before? Maybe I wasn't paying at tance. I don't think you're paying attention. But you know, every single girl that we saw that what college do we do or where we were in the know? Um college? Oh we were like in some city that I want to college, the Boston, Boston, Boston, no whatever. Anyways, an every young every girl in their twenties there air force air Force ones, but they're all

scuffed up. So yeah, but the ones are supposed to not be scuffed up. What do you mean they're just lazy? Air Force ones are supposed to be clean and white, like to be as stylish as possible, whereas these shoes, I guess. And then the ones that are like the the brand with like the star on it, girls pay like fo These shoes and they are supposed to look tattered and you buy them that way. And I understand,

I'm not trying to sound like an old boomer. That's like these kids with their jeans all messed up, like it really doesn't make sense because it's dirty. It's a dirty white shoe. I understand jeans being ripped because it does. That doesn't tell me that it's dirty. It tells me that it's like a worn But I guess that's the style as dirty as worn. Yeah, I don't know if it's sexy or not to see, I don't. I mean, what do you got going there? These are just scuffed

up naturally, but I wish they were white. I recently got a new pair that are sparkling white because I want them to be white. They're Adidas Um high tops, and they kind of remind me of like astronaut shoes. They're just like puffy and awesome and they're cute with everything. I'm obsessed with them. I got them in gray, which I could definitely get a lot dirtier. And then I also got them and what these are white ones, but they're all scuffed up. These are like yours that you

bought them. Like, this is exactly the kind of the scuffed up. But I can't. I don't like them scuffed. I like the why you heard of like the trend that came from the pandemic called goblin style goblin style own Yeah, isn't it just supposed to look like a goblin? Is it from a joke? I do think she used to have a joke. I think she has a joke about like goblin mode where she's like and she like

acts like a goblin. If if the rest of the outfit is clean clean, you can't have scuff on guff on scuff unless you're like a very hot male or female model. But you have to be like no, not lately, I'm trying. That's true. You have like more fresh, yeah, more fresh? So I could you know? I got scuffed shoes, scuffed teeth, and then everything in between your teeth came scuff. I bought some white and whitening thing. I don't know,

we'll see if it works. I wonder if I could just turn my teeth around what's going on on the back, maybe it could probably worse. There's definitely if you're not watching the front of them, you're not getting the backs dude, I saw a pitch a picture trying of my teeth right after braces, like a month after, and I'm like, who the fuck mouth is this? Yeah, I remember showing me that to good braces just obviously work wonders and the retainer. Yeah, didn't your braces fall off from natural

current like erosion? Some would say it's natural braces. You didn't get them, Actually you had ripped off or something. No, were They fell off a couple of times and I did not go to the orthodonist to get them fixed. So my teeth actually kept getting worse inside my mouth. So you know, two steps forward fifteen steps back, if you will. So you eventually had an orthodonis make them perfect and then take them. No, they just dissolved, but they weren't like stitches. We never got a bridge. I

don't think a bridge. Some people that did you have that? I still had it from my brothers. Crazy. Oh, I wish I had one and it holds it in place so you don't have to wear a retainer. That's a good question. I mean, would you go to the dentist, do they say anything? No? I mean, at this point I've had it for more than half my life, and the dentist goes, well, we could scrape it off, or

you could just leave it there. Just leave it because your teeth will do weird things after it if it's not causing you any pain or you know, making them gunky. Did you have braces high school or just middle school? Middle school? Yeah? I got them off in eighth grade, and I'm from sixth to eighth grade. Those are the prime years again. Yeah, you're growing. I had the straightest, most perfect teeth when they came off, and then right

away they didn't snap all the way back. But then you know, things shifted very quickly, and then you even do now like I get my teeth perfect, like I take my retainers out or my mislnap for a couple of hours, right back to this tooth pops out right away like fring, like it just but when it's trained to be in place. You know, I gotta I don't know what I gotta do. I mean, I'm gonna be I never really can tell. It's you know. Tom Cruise was famously saw Top Gun Maverick last night hat from it.

I was shocked that you went to see that movie, considering your fear of air shows yeah. Um, Chris, my boyfriend sitting next to me the whole time thought I was in hell because the whole time I'm closing my eyes, I'm pulling my hat down that I just got my my because it was like an event. It was a radio event, and so I was like, I had my hat over my eyes. I would be on my phone. I would look at my phone. It's dim lit, no

one could see it in my lap. But I was just like, I don't want to see planes flying close to each other. It just freaks me out too much. And I don't like fast things. I don't like fasten the fierce. I don't like. I was in the bathroom during it, and I go I would sign a document right now that said, if you will go the rest of your life and never ever see any action sequence in a movie ever, the rest of your life or

a TV show. I would have no problem signing that none because what that does is it stresses me out. It raises my cortisol levels, it raises my adrenaline, it raises it makes my body feel stressed. It ages me because I had to meditate, so I closed my eyes during those scenes because it's so loud. I put in my AirPods and put in the noise canceling because it was so loud. It was an imax. It was way too loud. I mean, this was damaging people's ears for sure.

I think that's what the fighter pilots right here, like you turned into fighter pilots, probably put in soundproof things in their ears. Right. Yeah. I was trying to comakaze myself, like I want. I would, I wanted. I was like I the whole time, I was thinking, if there was a shooting, I would be prepared for it because of how much I'm reading about Columbine. That is what I was thinking about, because you know, you go to theaters, you think of pack theaters, you think, but you know,

you know there's been the Aurora shooting. I was like, if a gunman came in here, I think, and I don't know, because I have put myself in the Columbine and the Parkland now and I'm reading that book situation so much and I've been so would do guy comes in he's underneath, I would not hide. I would not I would try to. I would try to tackle him, honestly, because I'm gonna get shot either way. I would so you're gonna go at him. I would run for I would just try to run first. I would not try

to hide at first. I might, but my instincts would say I put another pair of AirPods in. Yeah, I mean, I would just just run, play dad if I if I did have to hide, I would just play dad. I would literally take blood off of someone else and put it on my face or something to look like I have a wound that's through your period, that on your neck. That's a good idea. Okay, just make sure you would see any scary movie on my period. That's a good idea. Bring my diva cup? Do you think

still it on my temple? Not to like put Chris on the spot here, but would you go save me? Would you go to the guy correctly save me? Chris would sacrificed himself to save me. He would be a hero in the moment, Um, I would be. That's the best thing like about him for me is that I know he would he would put himself in the line of fire for me, without question, for honest, for anyone. He's just like a person like that. He likes saving

He like he's a hero. Um. I would not do the same probably because I just instinctually I don't go to I go to self preservation. And let me just say most of the people in Columbne did as well, and they had a lot of feelings afterwards about like why did I do that? Why did I not wait for others? Because you were right not too, because you would have gotten shot and so would they. So just run skitaddle. I mean, I think in war time, you're

not in war, it's time to protect yourself. The problem is is after the fact, no one knows what they're going to do. By the way, I'm just saying, I think I run it through my head so many times of what I would do now that I've like when you're reading this book, you're you're there, like my my heart's like for some reason, I don't have adrenaline about scenes like that in reading them. But um, that movie, God damn it, that was so loud. Tom Cruise, I

liked looking at his face. He is so good, lucking fuck. I wanted him to age. And by the way, I know that there's a whole post production team that has made his face look better than going to ask Without question, there's certain celebrities that have carve outs in their deal where they'll only sign onto a picture if they use allocates a lot of the budget for post work. Where you see these actresses on in close ups on camera and you go, god, they're flawless and it's films, so

it must be their real skin tone. No, no, no, no no, there a lot j Lo Anniston cruise. Those are the ones I know of. Also, put a guy in F fifteen plane, He's going to look pretty hot. Yeah, with all the pressure holding them back. So yeah, it was great. Really yeah. I mean Chris thought I hated it. We got out of the movie and he was kind of like like felt bad because at the time I'm just like putting my bill of my hat down and

just um looking at my lap. But I don't need to you witness the action scenes to understand the story and everything like that. I can still enjoy a movie if I'm covering my eyes. People feel good? Sorry, did you feel good going outside your comfort zone and seeing you know, like being his companion for this movie and stuff? Um? Yeah I did it. Was his goose goose dies in the first one. Yeah, did his son come back in

this one? I feel like, really, are you serious? I didn't. Yeah, Miles Teller plays his son, and so is Tom a instructor. Now it's not like a spoiler, by the way. You find that out like immediately, so I'm not reading it. Yeah Tom, Tom comes back. I'm not giving like you know, your must if you don't want to know anything. But I'm not going to give away any I'm not an idiot. I know how to play uh football. Um, there's there's a lot of music callbacks. There's He's just handsome and

charming the whole damned. There is a new guy, though not mysteller. Oh my god, this is probably the the There is a new Val Kilmer character. Yes, like the kind of the asshole of the group, the one that's like everyone ship fat top. He is so attracted, dude. His name is something Glenn Love a hot young man, let me see. And Chris told me that when he was living in Hollywood a couple of years ago before the pandemic, he was going to the gym and him

and this guy we're working out. He was like, we were both chasing the same figure, You're both chasing the same physique at the same time. And he had heard what he was going to the gym with this guy that he was this guy was casting the new Top Gun and so Glenn him he is a cutie if I mean, he is so adorable in this the way you like choose on a fucking I had to kind of.

I've seen movies with Chris before, and we do this thing where like if a hot girl comes on screen or a hot guy, he'll just like slowly put his hand over my eyes to be like don't look at that, you know, as a joke. And we try not to make each other feel bad if we're like turned on. We're not like a couple that goes like, God, he's hot, you know, like we're like sensitive to that. But so I was trying to keep it in my pants. But

he's got like a Ryan Reynolds. He was adorable, and um and uh here yeah, oh yeah, but I uh, I would just do that in scenes where to Chris, I would put my hands over his eyes and scenes where um they were like jets going fast, so like, you know, just like the same kind of thing. But um,

one time we went to go see X Men. One of the X Men a million I don't know anything, but it's the opening scene and Hugh Jackman is getting out of bed and it's just a scene of his back and he just like stretches because he's waking up in the morning, and I accidentally went I like gasped. I was like from from just how hot his back was. And Chris was like, did you just gasp? I was like, I did not mean to do that. And it's been

this like running joke. They talk about it on his show all the time, like at the time, I gasped accidentally. But Jennifer Connolly's in this. I'm just tired of this, like this kind of character that's always like I'm onto you the whole movie. She's just like, go see it and just watch the first scene that Jennifer Connolly's in. She is so I could the screen a million times. I just kept looking at knows. Tom Cruise is love interest.

Jennifer Connolly is like born in sixty I know. But Tom Cruise bang the instructor in the first one, who was older than him. Really, I don't think she was older. I think she's probably at the same age, but we all think she was older, but she was the instructor.

She comes off older on the remember, But I kept killing the screen I never saw the first top one, but I kept killing the screen because Jennifer Connolly's character is just so like, I'm onto you, and she's like this cool woman that runs a bar and it's just so sweet. And you know what character I'm sick of is the daughter of the mom who the guy in the movie is dating, who's like a precocious little adolescent who's like, if you break my mom's heart, I'll kill

you like that. Like she's kind of like sweet and yes, just like this like kind of angsty, likable, like smarter than her age wise, beyond her years, kind of like girl that's like, listen, my mom. She's had a lot of heartbreak in her life and if you do it to her again, I'm gonna kill you like that kind of like sweet. No more, those characters, Stop writing them.

They're boring. Um, what would that real character be? Would probably just go to our room and just be like, one day I'll say something, you know what I mean, Like, yeah, I guess I guess that's all you can only do with that character, because otherwise you'd be like why did they just said that? Were a girl like scurry through the scene, scared, Yeah, just playing with their socks. We gotta go break. I'll come back before Andrew. I'm on the rooftop coming down, flying down on wings, top gets home,

chicken down by and we're back. Yeah. So I saw a top gun, Maverick. I do recommend it. It is um. You know. Chris and his brother and his brother's wife also went with us, and afterwards they were talking about how um they almost like I cried at the end. I got a little, I welled up and a tear did not materialized, but there were tears welling. It's very good, um. But Chris said he almost cried a couple of times.

You know, Tom would just be like talking to Goose's ghosts and be like what should I do go Goose? Or like are you with me? He'd say ship like that and Chris would be like that almost got me. And I could hear sniffles throughout the out of like men just kind of like, you know, waiting until the

next scene. And then they'd like go like, oh I have an inch on my eye, where I was like, okay, now he can wipe his tears because everyone's not waiting, you know, like it sense that a lot, but I said, um, yeah, There was a couple of times that I almost started crying about halfway through at this one part where I checked my phone to see the running time and it was two hours and seventeen minutes, and I was like, Jesus fucking Christ, this is seven o'clock movie and it

didn't start after the previews until seven. I'm getting out of there at five or seven o'clock movie. Get the funk out of here, Get out of here with this ship, even though it did fly by no pun and take top gun, goose ice Man hang man Son too. The hot guy Jesus Christ decided to have a new crush.

I looked him up the six one, and he's dated um girls before that seems like they're not all actresses, Like some of them actually seemed like interesting and to have personalities outside of you know, pretending to be other people. Not that actresses aren't interesting, but come on, let's be honest with ourselves. He looks like buddy that I try to set you up with one time. Really, I think he kind of looks like the guy from the O C. The blonde eyes are close together. Yeah, I like it.

I like a little Ryan Reynolds, Like they're almost crossing. Yeah, we're looking at Ryan Rowns this weekend and I go, he's got He's no Ryan Cyclops. Yeah, I mean, who am I to say anything about anyone's looks like, you know, we're all insecure. We joke. Definitely, Rounds always looks like he's looking at a penis. Oh yeah, everyone goes a little cross side before a blow job, like a penis is coming right, Like we're gonna have fifty dude, hangman, Yeah, I saw. I keep wanting me to say die hard

because six in the morning this morning or something. You saw me at six in the morning, would you saw me? Why were you up at I went to my class at six o'clock? Oh my god, were to radio or something? You know? I was. I was going. I felt like I was catching you, and like whenever you see someone that early, I felt like, you see just driving. I drove literally right beyond in the garage in the garage, and then I was like I wanted to honk, But then I was like, I don't know why. I didn't

think you're up to no good. But I was also like, I don't want to intrude in your good. That's so funny. What would be up to I don't know, what do you think I was doing either? Well? At first, I was like, I just I didn't know. Radio is a good guest. Radio was my number one guest. Doctor's appointment maybe, yeah, it was a doctor's appointment. I went to a body guy, a guy that like checks your alignment and works on like your muscles, and manual therapist kind of guy that

like figures out. This guy through Chris, he sees him for like learning how to stretch and learning what muscles to build to like figure out like the aches and pains, like how it's all connected. And so my bunyans have recently have been starting to run in a different way to like prevent them, and it's throwing off my alignment. And I can tell that there's like things going on that are going to cause injury, not yet, but I'm

just trying to get ahead of it. And so he just he watched me walk and he took pictures of me standing and figured out like how I'm off balance and it's because I have really strong legs, because my um my calf muscles are super super tight, because I have no ass muscles at play, and it's all aligned for some reason. And my chest is really I have no chest muscles. Um, but my right butt cheek is really is pretty strong. My left is not at all.

My calves are too tight. So like even how I'm sitting right here, like I'm supposed to start sitting like this more, crossing my other legs, trying to have to do a share in stone a little bit more because this makes this engages this glute. And um, I stand with my hips. I stand like a banana, So I like stand like like like that. Um, if if I look down, I did have big boobs today, so I don't know if this checks. But if you're if you stand, you're supposed to look down and see your your toes.

And I can't often see my toes because my hips are out so much. I can't see in front of my toes. This isn't about Wait, if you're like a thin person maybe that doesn't have huge boobs, you should be able to see your toes. And so now I have to push my hips back. It's just a whole thing. So it was good though, but I really wanted him to get in there, and like does he stretch and stuff? Nobody's taught me stretches but I was like, I go.

He said something about, oh, this will get less painful because I was doing these stretches that he told me because my caps are fucking so tight and so I was doing these, um you know, rolling out and taught me the specific way to do it, and I was like, oh no, ma, ma, ma ma. And I was just like whoa. And he's like, it'll get way less painful as we go on. I go, is it bad that I don't want to be less painful? Like I love it? And he was like, now, I know you're kind, and

I was like, I just I love the pain. I was like, I don't go get massages unless I'm in pain, like I love it. And he said. I said, I think i'm, you know, a masochist, and he was like, well, I'm a sadist and a massochist, so I like to give people pain. And I was like, please let me in.

But he didn't do any painful stuff to me. I was kind of upset about it, but um he did say I am hyper flexible and that is why I have so my joints are like jelly and I moved too much and I'm too like I am one of those like car dealership things like I can all my joints are willy nillions, so nothing stops me from my arms going all the way back. My shoulders can go back, my my I can do this like over my head like I have. My joints are jelly, so my so

things go out of place and I don't correct. Most people they stop. There's like a hinge where it's like, okay, this is as far as you can go because I can keep going my muscles. There's no muscles needing to like the wrong muscles are holding me in. I guess I don't know. Yah know. My legs are like a screen door, you know, like the that kicks. That's where my hamstrings are. So my hamstrings are very tight. Can I go to add stretch place? Which is pretty lazy,

but it's nice. You know, it's lazy. I mean you should probably stretch yourself, but it's oh my god, I love getting stretched. Do this thing where they'll push that sexual they'll push this. So this is as far as I go. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, okay. So we're looking at Andrew's um. He's probably got about a sixty degree angle between his thigh and then I could do this all the way up but straight my leg. Yeah, I mean that's going to be a different story. Yeah, I

would like to be able to do. But he said to me, he was like, you're a great You're you're gonna be amazing. He was like, you just need a simple fixes. If you do this regiment. He was like, you're gonna You're gonna be Your life is going to change. And I'm gonna be taller because I stand like a banana, so I don't even reach my full height. If you're standing like a banana, you're not doing so I'm gonna gain like an inch or half an inch. I mean drinking now, I mean, look, my dad has a fake

hip or my uncle has two fake hips. You're fake him with those shoes. It's just, you know, I try really hard. I mean, I know, bottom stuff. Mac Miller died in these shoes. I'm trying, Okay, he was lawn mowing. Yeah, they do look like lawn mower like shoes you'd wear. Shoes are coolest, there's no doubt about it. But it's just interesting. I want to know what they did to funk them up. Why there's probably a guy there that

just has wouldn't it be fun? You just know you're probably throw them in a dryer with like a crayol up pet, like some brown crayol uh, and it heats it up and it gets them all. It is weird that they come scuff because it's very easy to scuff white shoes. It takes fucking three seconds to scuff. Yeah, it would take not much time at all. Um. But yeah, so I'm a little worried that I'll have fake hips by the time and like within ten years. But you're going to stretch place of it? Doubt your dad ever

did that? No, my dad? How far away is that stretch? Places? A stretch to get there? It's a it's a rock throw Seriously, how far is it? Minutes? How much is it per se? Not that bad. I'd have to look it up, but it's not that bad. And they how long did do they stretch you for? Do they only stretch or do they like do they do any massage or any massage they'll bring out the thumper or the fucking they talk to you the whole time or can

you do it in silence? Do it in silence? But the problem is it's not an individual room, so you are sitting by a couple other people are there? Anyways? Can you pay more to going back in a room and have them fuck you? I mean what did I say? Like? Literally they have crowd therapy too. Oh you know you've done have you ever done that? Um? No? But what is that supposed to do? Yeah? Where your head sticking out of it? But the rest of your body is like in the chamber. What's it supposed to do? And

then you feel better when it gets longer? Good for circulation, Oh, it's good for circulation. Oh. You know what I did get which has been so fun is a UM I signed up for this like vegan box that sends me like vegan beauty products every month. It's called kinder Box, and I love it. I've learned. I've gotten so many projects. I don't really like those boxes usually, but this one

I really like. Um. But I got these little face suction cups that you put like a serum on your face, like the one I use, the squalling one I use, And then you use this suction cup and then you just suck all over your skin and you just like traveling, and you suck it once so that it sucked, and then you just move it around your skin, and you're skin gets like flushed with like color because all the blood like rushes to it just feels so healthy. Yes, exactly,

I've never done it. The other night it was so fun to do um you didn't get in on it, but me and a Meal did like masks and just like it was I just love Sometimes after my micro needling, my face has been like so much smoother. I'm just like getting into not looking at skincare as a burden. I saw a video of Emmy rossum Um, the actress remember from Shameless. She now has crazy curly hair. She for years for her whole career straightened her hair, did

carrots and treatments and now she's embracing her curls. And I watched this video of her like being like I love skincare. I don't like there was no like these are my steps and I have to do this and it's like O c D. Like I don't like when girls are like O c D about the skincare. But she's just like I just love it, And it was like it made me not look at skincare is like this thing I have to do because I'm trying to stay young and beautiful, but like enjoying just being like

kind to yourself and like massaging your skin. It like it's so much better than being like throwing on doing stuff because you want to stay young. Like it just felt like you're doing it because it feels good in the moment to like massage your skin. And I think it's it's just taught me to look at things differently. Yeah, I you know, I've been I don't think guys do. I don't know one guy other than now myself that does a step process that's like three or five three

to five steps. You know, I could recommend twelve steps to most men I know to improve their lives. But with skincare um, I mean I used for skin on my face. I literally put a dick, a baby's dick on my face every night, and it's it really is. I'm for it has never felt smoother. It's called TNS and it's I don't know, it's they took a foreskin back in the seventies and they just keep replicating it and put it in cream. Like I'm not like a chemists,

but that's pretty much what they do. And so I don't I think of rejuven I think there's a lot of power and foreskin. I guess, Yeah, I gotta get that stuff I always keep forgetting to buy it. You can get online. Yeah, and Liptic is really good for redness. So I get red around my nose and I have psoriasis or dermot tightest so fartests or some ship so fartest. I have a fart face. I have like fart and

ship all over my face. So forever I use cortisone, which is like after the fact, which thins your skin after it's red after it and then you know, just kept before ahead of it, and it's manly. It's manly to get ahead of it. Yes, we gotta change the narrative around therapy and face creams for me. Just got these masks though, and that same kinder box, like I'm not even pay for this thing, this mud one is it is so I've never I've used these masks before.

You know, the sheet masks that you buy and you put on your face and you look like Silence of the Lambs. Those of never made my face feel any different. Girls, if you're out there, does anyone relate to me on this? Never has my face felt better after those I know that it's like supposed to. I've used every single kind but a mud mask that these, and I've used lots

of mass throughout my life. None have worked as well as this one that I got in this kinder box thing and I forget the name of the place, but I just bought all the masks and you get to mix them yourself. They come in powders and then you put a little drop of water and you spin it around with your finger. You're supposed to use like a glass bowl with a brush, but like, no, you don't know, you don't. It's like when they put the eyes ship.

You gotta pat it. You gotta pat it around. Well that's better because you shouldn't like I scratched my eyes. Yeah inside, Yeah, don't do it. Don't do it. Okay, let's get to the news. What it means. It is tunes that not my day. I went to hope you're having all the swells apparently are gumb of you. Pow that's good, that's really good. Yeah, you just have to be uh dumb alright, nook back to you in studio

in Phoenix. The same difference. Yeah, And Idaho man broke a Guinness World Record by running a half marathon while wearing a hundred and eleven T shirts. Uh, and it was to support STEM education. What why would that support STEM education? He was probably fundraising And here I just wanted the record before shirts. Yeah, he's like it took man. It was he a thin man, but then like those shirts all stacked together make him look a lot bigger. Yes, so it took twenty five minut it's for him and

his team to put the shirts on. It added forty pounds extra. He said. His arms lost circulation and after a couple of hours, my hands swelled to what felt like twice the size. My normally loose wedding ring was a constricted ring and I couldn't even touch my thumb across my That's the problem is these when you layer things like that that have elastic in them, it becomes have you ever done? You know? I had two rubber bands and put the and put your hair up with

two ponytail holders as opposed to one. It's crazy how much stronger it is. When you would think it would just be the same but like more secure, But it's like it's stronger. I mean, sure there's some physics law behind it, but I don't have a rubber band on my wrist, like, I hate that feeling. I know people are freaking about a ring I still have on my finger, and I'm not sure everyone that the part of my finger that the ring is on is not making it.

I don't feel it all day. That's not like squeezing. It's just I can't get past my knuckle. But that part that it's on, it does not bother me. I don't think about it. And I'm thinking about buying a condom from my finger so that I can live a normal life because it gets snagged on things and it hurts. Yeah, you don't mean it's cut it off? No, because I kind of want to see how long I can go? You can? Yeah? I mean what is STEM? Is a

science technology, electronic engineering, and math? But is this guy did he he wants obviously people to be able to get STEM. Did he get STEM him so he'll need it after this? What? No, he wants people to be like to study in those fields. It's probably for like students to be able to afford to go to like to encourage clubs or yeah, yeah, different extracurriculars involving STEM or like maybe to raise money for the stem but some states don't allow stem though. Right, it's it is, right.

I think it's just like I'm not kidding, Like there's some places that you can't get stem cells, stem cell stem stem cells are different than stems. Stem is an acronym. No, stem cells are is an initial sorry acronym. No, stem is an acronym. Stem is for science technology. Uh would you say engineering? And right? So that's just it. Stem is those things. I thought he was doing stem cells over here. No, stem cell is, yes, step out of

those are the things you put in your face. Yeah. Yeah, so usually you hear STEM with when people are talking about women. There's not enough women in stem science, technology, engineering, and math. Yeah. People really came at me saying there were no female architects. I stand by it. Do you stem by it by me? Now? I think there are female architects, by the way, Yeah, I would think there are, right, Yeah? Yeah,

did you say there weren't. No. I think it got misconstrued that I said that I was saying that there's not enough women in engineering in that it should be and I think that it came out as engineering and architecture. Okay, right, all right, Well, I mean it's not wrong. I think there are less women in STEM fields and that's why there's a huge focus on encouraging women. Yes, oh for girls, Well, for girls are just stem in general in general. Okay, Well,

let's go to the next story. Yeah, let's do it. Okay. I was trying to make a stem joke, but I can't come up with anymore nice stems. That's what I say to girls that are scientists, and I go, just focus on your legs, lady, don't learn maths. Don't worry about it talking about your stems. So you might know that the Can Film Festival is going on con it's Can. I'm just working around don't know. I don't know either,

it's Can Can. Okay. So, a screening of David Cronenberg's Crime of the Future starring Kristen Stewart prompts walkouts in the first five minutes as child mutations and people orgasming while licking open wounds are shown. But the reason why I felt compelled to share this article is because this image from the movie Oh No, so it's a blonde wolve to get my scalpel, Oh my god, to another woman's foot, and it kind of looks like you and Sarah Lena. God, it really does. What is she doing

to her foot? Can we see what she's doing with? Like what she's scraping off? She's just like doing surgery, you think, Um, I'll have to text you so, yes, my god, I would walk into that film. I would pull up my hat bill so I could see it all. What is the point in this movie? Is this movie like in the future or something? That's the word future in that right? Yes? So the point of the movie is um. It's set in the near future and centered around a performance artist couple who grow and remove new

organs on stage in front of a live audience. Oh okay, okay, this is you. Gotta send me that picture. I want to send it to Sarily. Know. That's so funny. It just texted I did you speaking of I don't know why this means. I guess it. Films that made me think of did you Did you watch Adam Sandler's whole speech to the n y U class. It was really really good. It really wrapped me up a little bit at the beginning there. Well he did that as a joke, I know, but it went on for like fifteen minutes,

just being like we're the best. What did you do tissues? Yeah. I couldn't believe how long he kept in that character, and then he broke character in the story of his roommate. Was really touching, and I that was awesome. He's the best. He just seems everything you hear about him the best. And when my baby said for the appatiles. I did talk to him on the phone once and he was so freaking nice and he asked me how my night was, and he didn't even know who I was. I was

just a babysitter and he was like, how's your night going. Oh, it's Adam Sandler. He said, it's Adam Sandler. And I thought it was a joke because who says it's Adam Sandler. But when your parents get a call, he thought I was maud Um Judd's daughter, and so he was like, hey, mod it's Adam Sandler. And I was like, this is not It's like sounds like a prank call of Adam Sandler. But you realize that when your parents get a call from their family friend, they usually say first and last name.

Like when my dad would get a call, it would be like, hey, it's Dave Miller calling you. Know they don't, so it checked out. But I loved his speech. He does this thing. So he goes through and he's like he's talking to the class and he's like, you know the n y U school, Tish School of the Arts is where he went. He's like, Tissues, you could do anything, Tissues. You are the performer. You you didn't go to you know, med school or you didn't go into business school because

you care about changing people's lives with performance. You care about you know. Take his he's like saying all this stuff, and you can start to go, wow, he's just doing a sincere speech. But it was all so that he could do the joke, which is the turn where he goes now dishes, I need you to come your ears. I'm going to talk to your parents for a second. Parents, you really fucked up if you think you're gonna at

least they're gonna need you so much more. During he goes, he tells the parents too pretty much, um move uh, don't don't tell your kids where you move from only cards message. Yeah, but don't give them your location. You've already given them enough tuition for four years at Tissue is enough. You've done. You've done enough, Yes, slip, and then he tells them to slip. Martin Scor says, he who's there at the ceremony because his daughters are graduating.

He said, slip. Martin Scor says, you a headshot of your kid. It will work. That's how Leo's mom did it. It was really good. I mean it is like I don't know some part of me, like I look at that college crowd of these like all these actors, and they still have this optimism that they will. You need that. You need that blind like faith and going to make it and you'll become agents. You'll give up and become agents. Yeah, what do you mean a part of you wants to

have that? You still have it. I mean you can't shake it. Anyone who enters into show business is thinking that they are going to defy. It's like entering the lottery, Like you think you have a chance, and you do because you I mean, they're people do make it. Yeah. No, I but I do believe there is a point where you should go. This is it for me, And it's not because I'm not talented. It's just because I just

am unlucky. Because making it is. Yes, it's hard. Work, but also being someone who works hard is based on if you had the right kind of parents, if you have you know, if you have a good job to support you through being able to work hard, if you have supportive friends, if you have self esteem that isn't you know, diminished by getting bullied in school. It's like, you're it's all luck. Why why anyone makes it? It's

not because you're not talented. So I think a lot of people should give up and stop chasing this stupid dream at some point and pursue better things because I think that I don't know if I think if I wouldn't have made it, I always say like, oh, I would have killed myself, because that's a better story than being like no, I would have just found happiness elsewhere, and I I would have you know, I'm just I'm trying to think, like if you went to school just

for entertainment, you know, just to be an actor, I think spensive school like that, But I guess with an English degree. I mean as an employer going to go, oh, you know you went to school, you went to tish, We're not gonna hire you at this marketing firm, you know, Like, can you do have something is not enough room for all the actresses that want to be actresses, so like it is possible to get trained in something that you just you can't get on the ship, Like there's not

enough room on the boat. There's too many people that are trained to be on the boat, but we can't fit you all, so some of you can't come. I know. I'm just thinking though, like and that's okay, what are

you thinking about, like getting another job somewhere else? And because yeah, like if you had a degree, like I can't imagine my dad paying for a four year degree where it was like I was gonna be a thespian and it's gonna be a hundred and because you're gonna be acting, like it was your choice to not pursue

that the rest of your life. I just know I just didn't decid I did that acting was just like an empty pursuit and I didn't want to do it anymore when really, let's be honest, I mean we like that was a joke, but I do think that it some people are better off just leave acting. Is it's way fun to do when you're young and there's less competition in your community theater or high school, and then the more you get and you see more talented people, you realize, like, fuck, this is hard, and also this

isn't that fun. It's auditions constant rejection, Like the dreams you have when you set out on these goals when you're young, when you're a child, even if you're in high school senior or when you're thirty, you don't know until you get there, and then you go this kind of sucks. I wanted to be an actor's until I got to my theater auditions and I saw these losers yelling at it themselves in the corners, reciting these monologues

and like caring about movement work. No offense to losers, but to me, they were like, these kids are losers, Like they care so much about these dramatic monologues that I just don't care. This is to me. I don't want to say a loser. That was mean. I call them losers because I couldn't be one of them. But I say, like, it just didn't interest me, and I thought it would have. I liked I liked performing, but

I didn't like acting. So sometimes you just don't know. Well, you know, we both watched the Carl I finally got to watch Carlin documentary and he said, you know, I'm a stand up comic. I'm not Hollywood. Wanted to be an actor really badly, wanted very badly, and then he realized that wasn't for him and he was never really actually trained in it, but he still wanted to be that. I wanted it so badly because he the people he used to admire, we're actors, and we're really great comedic actors,

and he wanted to be like them. And he even got his own show eventually, the George Carlin Show, which was you know, his signs and his sixties and it. He wasn't good at making things with other people, and Jerry seinfelt kind of comments on it during the documentary of like comedians don't have to deal with other people weighing in on the wait for that be done talking yeah, oh yeah, yeah that's but also like the network winging, like you can have this great idea, like look at milaney.

Mullaney is the best comedian going, without question, but his show wasn't great. Why not because he wasn't great? It's because too many cooks? Yeah, have you ever seen too many cooks? The adults swim masterpiece. Oh my god, if if you are a listener out there who has not seen Too Many Cooks, which is this weird thing that adults swim uh aired at like four am one night randomly in two thousands, I think eighteen, and it's this crazy.

It seems like an intro to a nineties sitcom like Full House, you know, like everywhere you look, and it's like different characters and they're posing with like it seems like a show. It's a show called Too Many Cooks, and it's like too many Cooks will spoil the broth, but we're gonna make it with love. And it's like too many looks and it's like it looks like a classic t G I f opening to a song, but then it does not stop going for fifteen minutes and it gets so fucking weird and it's so fun to

it's I watched it at least twice a year. It is so because the best part is no one warned

them that they were going to air this. It just aired apropos of nothing at four in the morning when usually they would be doing these like infomercials, and it just came on and you just got to think about the high guys that used to be watching Adult Swim late at night and would go and would just be like watching you know, like Aquitine Hunger for Us and like yeah, man, and just left it on and then all of a sudden watched Too Many Cooks And just imagine you're a stoner at four am and this thing

comes on with no introduction, there's no no one knows what the funk it is. And that's the beauty of Too Many Cooks and it's it's the best. It's one of my favorite things to watch. You know. The one thing I loved about the Sandler speech speaking of like how many opportunities there are for people that are pursuing this insane you know goal he talks about his roommate and then he goes and his son is on l

That just made me because please don't destroy those three guys. Yeah, and they're great, but he's like, be easy on them. They're they're trying hard, like like like because a lot of people are giving them. Those guys ship because their dad was a writer, Like two of them, their dads are writers, and then maybe that was one of them. Yeah, Nepotism is it's literally everyone in Hollywood is the son or daughter or are you like, well, they're probably talented

because they are. But there's other people too. That's the problem. That's the problem. Uh, as someone who is not a part of nepotism, I am like anti nepotism, but if my dad were famous, I would be pro nepotism. So yeah, of course who knows. Let's um, let's uh take a break, comeback with why do I care? No? Why do I care? Why do I care? I bet this story involves someone whose dad or mom is famous, because literally everyone in Hollywood is a product of some is a progeny of

some famous person. One of these names is going to be someone guaranteed. Possibly I heard you. I mean I saw this on your Instagram, and I really wanted to get your full perspective on Mick Jagger. Responding to comparisons made about him and Harry Styles, he says he doesn't see too much of himself in the twenty eight year old Yes. He also says, I like Harry, we have an easy relationship. I mean I used to wear a lot of eye makeup than him. Uh, A lot more

I make up than him. Come on, I was much more adrogynous, and he doesn't have a voice like mine or move on the stage like me. He just has a superficial resemblance to my younger self, which is fine. He can't help that. Yes, I think I think the context of which he said it sounds like he was being snarky. But if you read that like, yeah, I think he's a great kid. Yeah, what I wore more islander than him. He just happens to look like me.

We sound very different. If you say it like that as opposed to I mean or like we I mean, he sounds a lot different than I do, that sounds like shitty. But if he sounds a lot different than me, that sounds nice. Like, I think Mick Jagger is a fan. How could you not be? Harry is so amazing. Mick Jagger's son starting a HBO show. Mick Jagger's son started an HBO show. That doesn't shock me. Harry Styles is

not connected to anyone. Uh So that's interesting because he he had just auditioned for the fucking X Factor or whatever it wasn't he got he got, he didn't get past and then they put them all together, they put five kids, Okay, Yeah, and then Um, Mick Jagger obviously he I bet he was not the son of anyone famous, but who knows. I feel like it's the generation after that, you know what I mean? Like I think his kid helps like what his daughter's like a model or I

don't know, if it's a Jaggers kids. There's a couple of models. There's his son was an actor some movie, played a rock and roll Georgia May Jagger is his daughter. Um, yeah, so what are you gonna do? Yeah? I mean we're all something because our parents. Because my father was successful, I was able to go to college for free. Like there's all steps. My parents are reality TV stars because their daughter. Wow, you flipped it on them. Your mom

is a child star. It's the other way around. Can I just say based on um, I didn't see last Night's Two Nights ago his episodes. Yes, my mom played with me as a child in in the thing, I say my mom didn't play with me as a child very much hurt her feelings. She thinks that everyone thinks that she's a bad mom now, and she thinks that I said that to make her feel bad, which maybe I did. I don't even know what kind of fucking

mood I was in that day. My mom did play with me as a child, there is I just don't remember a lot of it. But I don't really remember my dad playing with me either. I just know that I see I remember more later in life. But I told my mom today because she was upset with me about it really hurt her feelings because she was like, I did play with you as a child. No, they didn't. I was like, I do think I told my mom.

The reason I think I'm obsessed with the fact that you didn't play with as a child, or that's the story I tell myself, is because I don't like playing with babies. I don't like playing with kids. I don't like playing barbies. I don't like playing pretend or like making voices or like I'm gonna get you. I don't like it. I'm not good at it. I don't want to do it. If I ever have kids, I don't want to be the main person I will do it. But I want to find a husband who's good at that,

because my dad was really good at that. And I I think that I personify my mom that way to make myself feel better, like I'm that way too, and my mom was, and so it's okay. And I think that's why I say it, because I don't like playing with kids. I really don't even I don't like I like having I like talking to her like a real person and asking her about things she likes and why she likes them. Like I don't like going like I'm alma on, I'm gonna get you like. I don't like that,

Like I run out of things to do. I'm not creative in that way. I'm my brain is not good at that. I'm kind of in the same boat there, especially with legos, like I can't handle I can't I can't go through these steps. You know, there's eight five steps to put together some kind of Star Wars thing, and I'm checked out after seven. I don't mind that because there's like there we're doing something. But if I have to go like I'm gonna get you on, I mean man like or in that bob that, I don't

want to have to come up with stuff. I just want to be That's why I like stand up and not acting. I don't want to be someone else. I just want to be me, And I think the kid would be fine with that. No, they want you to go they want you to play with that, but no, no, no, the kids do. But when my nephew wants to play with me and they want to play baby, So here's you know, the other day, I was playing babies with Poppy and I was just like, Okay, I'm gonna feed

this one. And I was being very like. I wasn't like I was like what what's her name? You know, I was like asking questions that I would normally ask, but there was some element of like, Okay, this is a doll and I don't care about its feelings. I have to pretend like this doll has feelings, and I'm struggling to do that kind of thing, you know. All right, so my mom played with me. That is that. And let's get to Reddit dump karaoke mode. This is your

Reddit dog, all right. Um let me start with uh, we have some vis videos to show, but um let me start with uh. This was on too afraid to ask. It's the subpredit. It was a question is it okay to wear lingerie for my husband that I've sucked other dudes and before I met him? Amazing question, right, amazing? And yeah, yeah, I was predicting Andrew would say absolutely not. You just don't want to know about it. Oh, I wouldn't want it to be like, yeah I sucked this guy.

Well no, but it's like old clothes. It is to found out later on that it was something that she had for her ex boyfriend maybe gave her, not that she like she wasn't keeping it because it was a present from him, but she just like liked it, so she kept. It's tough for me is when I see like a big oversized T shirt and I'm like, oh, that was an old boyfriend T shirt that you're still

sleeping in. That's tough. But pajamas or lingerie that you know, I don't want to know the exact specifics, Like I bought it on a Thursday because he had a heart on and he loved this, like I didn't want but you know a guy like fingered her through it like specifically for sex. Yeah, yeah, it doesn't bother me. Uh. Someone commented I love this comment. You are sucking him with the same pussy that you fucked other dudes with. That would be so funny for guy was like, you

need to get a new pussy. Yeah, um, all right. Uh, how would you guys feel if some guy I guess guys don't don't put on anything really specific to get fucked. I don't care about any of that. I really don't. If I feel like they still like her, then then that's an issue. But if you're with me they don't like her. What about a sex toy, same condom, sex toy? I would not, I would not. That wouldn't bother me

at all, because clean them. I mean, like I I use, I wear use clothes like I wear like that's a very intimate thing that's rubbing on their skin, like a silicone thing that you can clean, that can get very clean easily because it doesn't have a lot of nooks and crannies. It's just like a sleek like there's nothing about that. I wouldn't people that people put in their mouths at restaurants and you clean that, Like, what's the big deal? I get that. I think if you could

separate that, good for you. Okay. This was an ask men, okay um, and it said what is one thing that you would like your ex to know? Mm hmm. One guy said that my life has been mostly a series of dreadfully bad decisions. I considered getting back together with you the worst one. I've ever made. Whenever I'm going through a rough patch in my life, I still chuckle, knowing it's nothing to do. It's nothing to what I endured with you. You are the standard of which I

measure measure misery and pain by. Thank you for that. I don't want anything to do with that. Someone said, she taught me to take it slow so I don't wind up in a relationship with someone like her again. Wait, what why you don't want to have anything to do with what? The anger and the fucking feeling that he wants to tell her that she's miserable and all that ship. Yeah, I mean that guy is still holding a lot of anger.

Someone said, can I have my guitar back? You sort of forgot to give it to me, So I was wondering, you forgot to give it back to me if it's

worth it to me. But for my last serious relationship, I would like to apologize because and you know, like I um, I was clearing out all my text to like save room on my phone and I found our last text after he had broken up with me, and I read it today and there were so much pointing at him, like you did this and you knew about that and you knew what I was asking for and I read it back, you know, me and the present, and I think that like he was the one who

urged me to go to therapy. And I think if it wasn't for him just breaking up with me and putting me at like my lowest point, I probably wouldn't be close to where I am today. So I probably say thanks and I'm sorry. Oh god, I bet he would like to hear that. I'm like to reach out. It's too too weird. Um, that's interesting though. Have you read any like last exchanges with an X and just kind of seen it through a different lens? Um, I

have apologized. I apologized to one of my axes really in a very sincere way, and um on the show, on this show made amends. Yeah, I mean to Zach, I did, but then to another one I did. Um. I gave a really I made a voice memo and I just sent it to him and I was like,

you know, not even a memo that disappears. I gave him like I recorded it and then just sent it over and was just like, because I didn't want to be interrupted, I just wanted to get it out there and just say like, hey, I fucked up and I shouldn't. I was sad you rejected me and I handled it in a bad way and he accepted it and never since then we hasn't felt like hate. At least from

my perspective. It's so nice when you apologize, you just don't you If they're mad at you, it has nothing to do with you anymore, because you've like the past for you as the past you've made up for for. In my mind, I don't think I left anything untouched of that I owed an apology for, and if if I did, I would love to know it, and then I would make up for that too. But it just feels like freeing. But if I could say something to my X, I would say, I'll see you tonight, babe,

because I'm back with him. Um No, I have so many things that I would like to say to certain people, but it's almost not worth it because, um like, I don't want to engage. I don't want that, I don't want to have I don't want to talk to them again, and it's but there, Yeah, there are things, but I'll just write them in songs for jokes and then they'll see it when they watch my thing and then they go, oh god, I wish I would have not sucked that up. And but the thing is, even if you didn't, I'd

probably have realized you were not good enough by now. Anyway, That's what I like to tell myself. Yeah, I wouldn't want to re engage if there's no If we were friends, still we're friendly, then maybe I would maybe bring something up. But I'm not gonna write someone out of the blue to get my whatever emotions out. Ye. Also, I don't want to like then you have to get an email back, and then do you have to email back to that.

If it was an exchange exchange back and we knew that it was done, then I could maybe do something, But I don't want it to be seventeen messages later and then fighting again about the same thing. That's so funny, then you gotta break up with it. Yeah, it's it's like I was saying about, like the megreets guy grabs your ass and you call him out for it, stopped to do just like let it go. Wait till you stopped walking like a banana. You're gonna get a lot

of more ass grabs. Oh my god, that thing's gonna be sticking out ready to go um. Whenever I really do feel like I want to like get out some anger about an X, I sing the Taylor Swift song I Bet You Think about Me? That song really kicks into some feelings. But it's but if you do have things that you still want to tell an X, it's because you're holding on to some kind of resentment that has more to do with you than than them, And it's a sign that you gotta gotta keep working. There's Keith,

how do you like me now? On my way you think? And it's just him talking ship to an X about like he's done everything to communicate with people. If you're an artist, I mean, as a comedian, I find it very therapeutic to write bits about people and like surreptitiously like address things. But man, a really good song that people that that person has to hear the rest of their fucking life. That you get successful from you if

you get up. She wrote that song Mean about a critic that made fun of her voice at the Grammy, And she wrote the song mean about how like you're limetic and alone and life and mean and mean and mean, and at the end of it, she's singing it at

the Grammy. She goes, someday I'll be singing it at the Grammys and all you're ever gonna be is mean, And so she sang at the Grammys, wrote the song because he trashed her for how she saying at the Grammys, and then came back and one album maybe album of not album of the Year, but one for that song. That's that's a that's a great, that's a great. I don't know if you can break up with someone and

then write this song, Yeah you weren't good enough. There's a lot of breakup songs that I hear that are like, I'm sorry, I just had to go and I yeah, take it easy on me, so good, Yeah, easy on me. That one's really good. All right, let's keep going. So let me see. Um uh, this is a good one. This is a good story. Okay. So this is from true Off my Chest. It's where people just let something out. Says I'm divorcing my wife because she has been late

for nine of everything we've ever done together. Everyone we know is shocked and confused, But I don't care. This guy is awesome. No, I'm not having an affair. No, I'm not having a midlife crisis. No, I'm not looking for a younger woman. No, I'm not hiding anything. My wife and I have been together for twelve years. During this time, she has not made even the slightest amount of effort to be on time for anything we did

when we were dating. Average weight times, we're fifteen minutes to an hour for her to finally fucking show up. I waited because I loved her. After marriage, she somehow got worse, and after childbirth she got even worse. She used to blame circumstances for being late every time, but now she just blames our son. I put up with it because I loved her. Example one da da da example to da da da da da. Example three Da da da da. I'm so sick and tired of it.

Dinner reservations are always a toss up because restaurants in her area of no chill, and we'll cancel your reservation if you're a minute late. Blah blah blah blah. He goes all the way down, He goes um, meeting up with friends, going to a children's event with our son. For Fox's sake, even trying to take a walk is walk is an ordeal. Of trying to get her to put the goddamn phone down and get ready so I

don't have to stand there like an idiot. I think my boiling point was last week when I stood at the entrance of our house for twenty minutes with our son as he grew increasingly impatient, and then seeing she had abruptly decided to start vacuuming the house. I'm getting spammed with calls from mutual friends and family. She went and told everyone that we're getting divorced. Everyone wants to talk me out of it. I just broke. I just broke after years of patience. I have no regrets. What

do you think final thought? I mean, she'll probably be on time to get that Alimoni money. No, I'm just but they I think it's good. I don't think it's the worst reason to not get divorce like that. I've heard like and I think throughout that start, I mean to skip a lot, but I think it's if it's something that you've addressed and said, this is something I can't put up with and you need to fix it

or I'm gone. I think it's like a like agoraphobia or something like that, some kind of she keeps delaying it or like a social anxiety thing, and she just keeps sabotaging people who are constantly chronically late. And I'm I'm one of them. There have been times in my life where I just am seven minutes late, ten minutes late, fifty minutes late to everything. But I tell people how late I'm going to be. Generally this god excluded because

no one knows at this point. Like, but generally, if I'm late to something, I say three minutes, seven minutes, I don't say these people that go, I'll be there in five minutes and it's twenty minutes. Fuck you, fuck you. It's fine, you're twenty minutes. Like, don't lie about it that no one's believing that that twenty minutes was five minutes because you lied about it. You. I know you can't help being late. I really do believe that. But you need to be accountable for what you are and

you need to try to fix it. It is not something that's unfixable. You can be on time. We're choosing not to address the issues that are keeping you chronically late. Yeah, it's like you know someone will go, well that's my thing, Like I'm just late. This has nothing to do with you. But then if it does affect you negatively, it does have something to do with you. Yes, a lot of people hide behind well this is this has nothing, This

isn't you. This is my thing, but your thing creeps in to your your thing is Actually I don't want to be around it anymore. So if you want to stay with me and you love me enough to I'm important enough to you more than it is keeping this habit going, or like addressing the issues that you're scared to address that keep you late, then buy. And I'm sure in her mind she might have a thing where it could be out of spite that he's doing something loving her. I think he should have done it much

sooner before a kid. But but you know what I mean, like there could be something on her end where I'm sure he had this conversation with her. Yeah, he sounds really great, sounds like yeah, okay, let's get to this next one. This is from me I r L, which is like just tweets that people reposts that are like this is so me or whatever. So this is from

average average underscore dad one on Instagram. In college, I had a roommate that would set his normal alarm plus a separate alarm for three am, so that he would wake up in the middle of the night and be excited about how much longer he had left to sleep. Still not sure if he was a genius or a psycho. I wait, wait, how what where were so? He would say a roommate. I killed the guy. No, but I mean just the idea of setting an alarm at three o'clock.

I love when I wake up at three o'clock and that your things creeping in the mind thing if it was if he wore headphones and got the alarm inside his own head. But if you're waking me up every morning or every day at three, he's gonna train you to just keep waking up at three when you could

be sleeping. Yeah, be careful. I love sometimes I will set my like if I have to get up at seven, Yeah, I set my alarm four or five thirty so I can just keep pressing snooze because that five thirty, knowing that I have an hour and a half left, It's great And I'd rather hit snooze continually then then have the first time I wake up be when I have to get up and I've known that's probably the worst way to do it. This is from Made Me Cry. Um. But when you do that as someone else in bed

with you, No, I would never do it, that's my point. Okay, yeah, I mean that's but that's what that kid was doing. Yeah. I mean if I'm in college though, and I'm just like, have a roommate, now, get really about them, because I'm a college kid. I mean, now, I wouldn't do it. I mean yeah, yeah. Um. So this is from made Me Cry. It says I mean I'd rather die. Okay, so it says um. This is from a tweet from Ashton law a s h t y n Law. My dentist gave me a stern talk when I said I

hadn't been to a dentist in thirty years. I told her I couldn't afford it and had no insurance. Well what did you do when you were sick, she asked. She looked at me blankly when I said, I waited it out until I thought I was going to die. And isn't that what we all do? People are afraid of a doctor, afraid of a dentists, or we put things off. I gotta go to dentists. What's a good I don't know. I'm sure I have about worth of work to do in my teeth right now, at least

I can literally feel it with my tongue. My back teeth are falling apart. You should go to the dentist. You have money now, you know, like take care of yourself because down the road is going to be even more money. And just so you know, Andrew, I had a period of like six years and I was terrified of going to the dentist. And I finally did it, and uh, he did, you know, Like he did the inspection and everything. They did the cleaning and he's like all right, and I was like, that's it, You're done.

He's like, yeah, we always do that with doctors. We always think they've never seen this before. I don't have cavities. And he's like, do you want to have cavities? Yeah? You kind of want something, right, you want something in there. Remember I told you that dentist asked me if I was a smoker. Oh my god, that is so funny. So how long you've been smoking? I go, I've never smoked. And he just goes interesting. Interesting that haunts me. Interesting. Um,

I'll close with this. It was a tweet that I can't find anymore. But it said, um oh here does this is from zeal On t Zelon zeal Zeloton PC from technically the truth is the is the things that things that are technically the truth that says condoms are for fucking pussies just straight up yeah, because they are for fun. Did you see what he did there? He changed the words, he made it different. It's so absurd. We gotta go. Um, I gotta do an audition. Am

I going to practice? No? Man, Chris is gonna come over. He's gonna help me put it on tape. We're gonna read the lens together. But I haven't even printed the stuff yet. I like how you're I love how you're just going off script. You're not rhyming worth a ship. But I'm not mad at it. I hope you get this audition and you fucking nail it because it's inside you and you're a dreamer and you're a tissy. Well you didn't get in. You went to Kansas cy and

then don't freaking interrupt my wraps. I'll freaking slap your crap. I'll eat your DJ Kellid Nikki Glazer. We're the best podcast, Okay, done. I'm sorry. Don't ever, don't you and Jack Jack rappit. I like that, okay,