#222 Call Him "Bine"

gown on and Jim shoes and nothing else. He was definitely a crazy person, but there was something chic about it because he didn't seem to mind that his ass was hanging out in the back and that he just looked like he was just confidently looking for math. I'm sure that could be like if Kanye put that out,

would spend seven on it. I used to always think that, Like I remember in sixth grade being like, bowling shoes are going to be cool someday because they were remember just wearing you How often do you go someplace and you wear a type of you have to wear a type of shoe. I mean, we're not talking about roller skates or ski boots. It's a shoe you have to wear. I mean golf. I understand soccer kids, well, I guess okay, no, no,

But bowling it's a different thing. It's a different you can't wear on the street like you can walk around in a bowling shoe. You might be slipper, but actually they're not slippery because they have to be on slippery floors. Why do you need bowling shoes? Why? Because they scuff up the floor. Regular shoes doesn't get the scuffs off. Why don't they make you wear if you go to a gym like a y M c A. Why don't they make you change into shoes that aren't going to

scuff up that floor. Why are bowling alleys so you know we're bowling alleys? You can't scuff off our floor like you're places are soaked in like urine and PEPSI from like they bowling all are disgusting. Why are they not at my local park? I never had to You don't have to check my feet. Makes you shower before you get in the fucking pool? Why are they not

caring about their courts? Why are bowling shoes needed? Don't actually write in and tell me because I don't care, and I'm sure it's a very good reason to be honest with you. I mean, I think I told you the reason to scuff, But that doesn't make sense because if it's just about not scuffing, first of all, you're not walking into the lane. That would make it an illegal throw, So they don't need to worry about it getting scuffed on the lane, which is where the ball

is rolling, which is what you would not want. Scuffs to impede a bowling ball from doing certain things. So if there's scuffs before the takeoff, who gives a funk? Okay? Do you want to know why? I just googled it? Okay? So your normal sneakers will stick to the lane and cause you to stop abruptly, preventing you from making the correct sliding motion, and that will prevent you from getting hurt because you move better and stop safely with them on.

I don't okay this makes sense. First of all, the proper equipment is needed when you are really training for a a sport. Most people frequenting a bowling alley are just doing it for fun. Bowling alleys, You cannot tell me they actually care about preventing injury to like oh, stopping short, like your r might hurt the next day. They don't give a money maker. They'd rent the shoes.

It's an add on. It's sued they'll no, because I don't think they will, because I think the injuries we're talking about are not like the ball like flying and hitting you in the face. It's like, oh, your arm is dislocated, which is like, that's kind of on you. I mean you could follow the skating rink and they you wouldn't these places have insurance in place to protect them. It's a weird thing, and I think you're right. It

is about money. It all comes down to, like someone figured out, and it makes you commit to the game more, makes you play more aims because now you have the shoes on that you had to lace up and you got the wrong size and had treatment. There's commitment. Once you want, you get someone to commit enough, they go, I gotta keep doing this because I've already what's it called?

Bill Maher told me about this theory and it's well known where if you commit enough to something, you keep doing it even if you don't, even if because you've already put enough money or effort, you just keep going relationships. This happens all the time. Well, we've been together this long. It took us a really long time to get to this place. Even though I'm still not happy. Oh, you know, it's because but the first of all, the past is

in the past. Like literally, the more time you put into the more you think it could be even better in the future because you already put time in. It's like a minor league in baseball, sticking to it even though he's seven years in and the idea of him ever making it in major leagues, yes, but enjoyment out of it. They're making like five bucks a month, but that's a whole love love the game, and those shoes they got them to buy the shoes. You know, those

shoes will keep you committed. I feel like in my own relationship, which is obviously not perfect because none are, I stay in it even when I have times of like this is not ideal and I feel like, oh, this could be a possible deal breaker because I've seen so much growth in the past year from a person, that from both of us who are actually actively trying.

But I think a lot of people stay in things where there's no there's been no change for years, there's no change coming, and they just stay in it because they just go, well, I've already wasted so much of my life on this. I can't like a bad movie. A lot of people keep watching a series. This happens all the time with series where people will be like, oh my god, it was terrible, don't watch it, and I go, why did you see all of it? And they go, because I watched three episodes I had to see,

you think. I don't because I give up on any show that I don't like, and I walk out of movies that I don't like because I'm just like, I don't want to waste more of my life this thing that's already disrespecting my intelligence so much. Horrible bosses. Take your relationship out of this, but like the idea of like actually put it in, rubbing it all. Let's only talk about your relationship that you've been in, Uh where you start, Like, the idea that it's improving is great,

but could it already? Can you already get into another relationship that's either a already where your current one is, or is it already even better where you wouldn't have to work as hard? Yeah, And that's why I'm always I'm not married, so I'm open to that, and so should he be. I think that that's I love CARDI bes thing like, um you uh, with a without a ring on my finger, you ain't going on my graham.

Like yeah, I'll put my boyfriend on my graham. But like my my therapist always used to say, well, you're not married, so you're not married. Like my abuse of doctor mother, she well she used to kind of talk with my mom's cadence, for sure, but she used to say, you're not married, so you can entertain anything you want, and so can he because a man marriage is agreement that we were going to tough this out before you have that. Yes, you can have loose commitments, but there's

nothing um I he has to. We both go out in the world knowing that someone could pull us away from each other, and we take that risk, and we also both I liked I actually enjoy that because it makes me work harder and have to like earn this thing that I love, which I do. I like earning, and people go, you shouldn't have to earn some when you love It's I don't feel like he's like constantly putting me to the test. I like having something that is valuable and that I've worked for and I like

to continue to work for it. For some reason, I've I've First of all, I didn't date for years, right, for years, I would just have drunk sex and not date and be a whatever. And then but in regards to dating, and like, oh, you're not married, so just play the game, but date. Like my uncle would tell me that, like date ten women at a time, and I was like, Dad, sounds exhaust So I was always almost if I did commit at all, I was I was out. I was off the field completely before even

the field, before the relationship. Really, I would get so excited about I just wanted to have a I wanted to I just wanted to, like have someone that I could get be comfortable with, have comfortable sex with, have like inside jokes. Just a friend really, like a friend that you get to fuck. Um is what I always wanted, and that's what I want from my girlfriends too, outside from the fucking. Like, sometimes I just want to rush a friendship and be like I just know, like, let's

just do this. You're one of my best friends. Like the first time I met Catherine at college, I said to her on our first walk, which we didn't even know each other. We met at a frat part we met we were in the same freshman hallway like a dorm room, and she was down the hall and our whole dorm a floor of girls went out to go to like the you know, frat parties. I think it was the first weekend of school and all she knew of a big party weekend. That's when that's a first impression.

None of the boys get to go because they are all rushing and like they don't get to go to these parties when the freshman girl yes, and so she had only known of me from we did like we went round robin with like hundreds of kids in our whole building, all the girls, and we like told like, hi, I'm Nikki, and then you like tell a story and

I told the story of hitting the garbage man. And she said, what, that's where you open because we're supposed to say funny, like something interesting about I love that, And my interesting thing was like that's the most interesting thing that's ever happened to me. I also looked like a you know, a little like Mr Bones from Nightmare before, like a Nightmare on Elm Street or whatever. That no,

no night before Christmas. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Halloween is here, la la la la la, Halloween Christmas time. They're taller girls. That's holding you with strings. I can see you now. No one wanted to get him marry. It was so sad. But I remember i' I was like so lost. But we went to this frat party

and we were just like overwhelmed. We didn't know it at the time, but I could tell this girl was like nice because she was just like she had had antirexia before, so I think she kind of saw what I was going through and could relate, even though she didn't appear to have it at the time. She was

still struggling with stuff. But we went to this frat party and I just remember being overwhelmed by like I had just come from high school where we called out constantly with all my friends, Like we did not tolerate it. We mocked it. I always had someone in my corner to call out K and just like you know, it's everywhere in high school and college. That's that's all you

are as kid, especially your freshman year of college. So she had the roommate who was love you to death, Meg, and I don't actually don't mean that, like I love you. You are a good person, but you were kiss fuck. She would just be like very like I'm from New York and she would like play up New York and just be like, you know, this was Colorado. She was just like she was like very cool, but like her New York would come out and she was just like cool, like I don't even know if she was could, but

we caught her being a couple of times. We were she ended up being one of our close friends, but she was and so was I. No no judgment, but she was very cold. And I remember us, Catherine and I locking eyes in the hallway of this frat on the second floor, and it was first week of college. I had no friends, but something could happen and we kind of locked eyes and I like kind of rolled my eyes like I gave like a cut with my eyes,

and she like kind of giggled. And then I walked over to her later and I was like, do you want to get out of here? Do you want to like just go like walk around the city because we were bolder, we had never been there. I wanted to go find John by A. Ramsey's house, so I was like, let's just go walk around. We had no phone. This was flip phones, no GPS, you know, T nine texting at We didn't even have texting, I don't think at this point maybe very very first day of texting and

really ted me. Yeah, liked college, like, let's let's ditch this delta barting. Dude, I'm not been joking, you know. I almost went to Colorado this week to go see Phoebe Bridgers and Red Rocks with Catherine. She still lives in Denversities from Chicago. But um, I almost went out there, and I would have gone had I read this Columbine book a day sooner, because I am so fascinated by Columbine that I want to go see the school as

one of these like losers that wants to go. And I also I've been to the theater where they were shooting happened. I don't know why I liked this morbid ship anyway, I did want to go see the John A. Ramsey house. One time. I was at a college party during the same freshman year. We read a house party where we didn't know where we were. The cops showed up. We had to hide in the basement. And I remember

I was trying to be funny. We were like hidden the basebart like whispering and like giggling, you know, And I go, you, guys, this is the Ramsey house. This is where she was murdered. This is the this is the room. And it was like a big story. And she was murdered in the basement, like that's where the crime scene was. And people all ran upstairs so scared,

and then like like the cops were. I mean, we were gonna get caught anyway, probably, but I know that people did not appreciate that joke, and I thought it was not funny. I'd rather spend a night in jail than with this woman with a girl girl who looks like sticks yeah, this girl who looks like she survived and never gotten Yeah, or to go. Honestly, I was wearing a neutlace that was probably too tight. Um. That's for people who know about the crime. Um. So wait,

so you're at the frat party. You're like, let's get out of you. Yes. So she's like yes, I mean I start walking a lot of like for a young person to go, this isn't for me. That is such a hard choice and I could after we go, like I could talk to you about my first party where I went to complete other way, like my brain was not ready to go. That's I'm out. Well, let me just say that we did many We we put up with many parties, wearing high heels, cold, we treated like

just stupid sluts. After this, like this was just too much for me. I wanted to leave. I saw a girl that I had the same kind of connection with and then we left. And this is what I'm saying about, like I just know instantly, and this is what scares off boys, but girls it doesn't scare off. And that's why lesbians always talking about their their you haul lesbians where they're like after the first day of meeting there

like let's move in together. Like women just they're not scared of that kind of stuff, which brings me to love on the Spectrum to U S edition. But I digress,

which is should be the name of this podcast. I we're walking down the street, We're a block down the street, literally a block away, and we just probably laugh about something in common, or we just have some moment of like well we got me too, and I said, I just want to stop I know this is a really weird thing to say, but I'm like certain our children are going to know each other, they're gonna be friends.

Like that's how much we're friends, Like we're like. It was my way of being like, this is for life, dude. And she was like, I know. And I told that story at her wedding, Um, when I gave a speech and I said, and I believe that that day, and it's not gonna be true because I'm barren, and I thought it would get a laugh, and no one laughed. It was everyone thought I was serious. Yeah, and I probably am. I mean I probably like Jings did at that point. But um, it could have been a Baron

Trump too soon, m M. I Drumpo wasn't around. Baron might have been, but we didn't know about him. Your first party, you remember, I was, well, it's funny because I met one of my best friends ever at the same thing. First party, Glenn, I love you. You're out there you have Uh we did. Um. There was this thing called that that I think it's v a T where it was uh fraternities wouldn't make a punch right like with like one fifty one. So it was the strongest.

Oh yeah, David Spade has a joke about it where he goes, if you uh they practice, we go listen, Um, dude. It's like they would just be stirring at like a cauldron in a disgusting like uh you know, trash can and it was like, you know lethal the amount any They're like, dude, if you give her this much, she's gonna have a good time. Did you give her this much,

she's gonna die. It's like it was like the negligible by like just yeah, yeah, that's from his first special, which I'm sorry he couldn't get away with that joke now, but like it's true. I mean that it was so bad. That's I mean literally when juice they'd make the drink and they'd be like, that's why it scoop your cup red sol cup into it. It was no, like there's no punch. It was so dirty. God, it was dirty

and it tasted like kool aid. You couldn't taste of Arby's shake and it was And I remember I drank one and I was like, oh dude, this goes down so easy. And I went to Glenn and I was just like, let's have a contest. Let's say you could drink it faster. I swear to god, I drank like ten cups like of that so dangerous, And I can't believe you remember anything after that. Well, this is the

thing I don't remember. Apparently at my shirt off. This is my first ever party shirt off, and apparently I was I was kind of biting people, kind of a nibble on people. Nipple. I said nipple, but you said nibble. Okay, I was nibble and nipples. Luckily your teeth are like then they were strong. Yeah, those canines actually may be sharper now from me widowing away ye, like a sword like things you do when you're black out drunk is so humiliating to hear about later on because it's such

a departure from what you think you're capable of. Yeah, I mean, look, I bite someone sober, but not everyone. But I'm biting everybody. Apparently my brother made me leave the party. I'm I'm in the frat house and apparently I'm spitting. I'm throwing up and spitting all over this person's room that I've never met before. And then I somehow stumble back to the dorms. Is my first part. I stumble back to the dorms. I wake up around eleven AM, and my brother calls me. It's like, dude,

are you all right? Like we're what's going on with you? And I'm just like, damn, the coolest thing. I got so drunk. I didn't even throw up. And he's just like, what do you mean you're spinning and sure and like that was my first number night in New Orleans and just like and then I just leaned into that character for another four years because that that guy is funny. The next day, you're like a legend in certain ways.

What's this guy gonna do? Also, you get to shut off your fucking brain, like you found a way to make the thoughts, the insecurities, everything would just go away with one of those cups of stuff we gotta go to break, but we'll come back with more after this, Andrew, I'm over the shadows and through the storms, lightning and crumbles, and so'd to go the way? Oh man, that is a trip into your psyche that you know every day

we get to go on a little excursion there. Um off the heels of Andrew's song in the last segment that we had, Um, did you ever drink that it was storming today pretty hard. Um Oh yeah, oh yeah, I mean I got black out. I don't remember so much of anything in college because it was all just I don't I don't watch ephor you, but I feel like it's like one of those like flashing lights and just people's faces and like hella, like did you ever lean into that door and want to rush a story?

Because I rushed what's it called? What is it called rushing? Yeah? I mean I was kapapa gamma. Oh I didn't know you went all the way through. Yeah, I dropped out like halfway through the year, but I went. I got in Kamma. You pledge kapaabagame, but you never were officially. I was. I was in it. I did the whole ceremony with weird leaves and like a coffin, and I

believe there was a coffin. We went downstairs and there was like some kind of like thing we had to like like hold these leaves and say these weird chants and learn a handshake and do all this these ritual. Yeah, it's just like you know, it's like scissoring with your having. Are you are allowed to talk about this? Isn't this private was a pike and you had to put a finger here and cover up. It's so stupid. Yes, get canceled for that. I don't have any respect for any

fraternity or sorry, no respect for you. None like a special charity you do. You're all just it's just a big front to look cool and to meet friends, which is a noble pursuit. But it's all to look cool and make T shirts and like, you know, get Bulimia, I get laid um. Yeah I was in Cambriana and um, but never I never told the story that I realized I wasn't going to be a good cap like I wasn't.

I was doing it to make friends. It's like the same reason I do everything like Dancing with the Stars or like all these things where I get like I go one of the first pitch, like saying yes to things because I didn't want to regret it later on and be like I have no friends and be like, well, it's because you didn't do that, bitch. But it turns out all my friends did not rush, and those were my friends that I wanted to be with and everything.

Like anyone in your pledge class, there's no one that you're still friends with no. Oh god, no, I don't really remember their I was like they fucking hated me. Yes I did. She was very nice. I think her name was Taylor, but um, she was really nice. But I I this was when we when we fledged day

when we found out you were capas. We all loaded into this double decker bus and we are going to this park to go drink and celebrate, and we're on the top of this double decker bus and at some point I was like, hey, guys, we I hope we don't go under any low bridges because we might get decappa tated. Great joke, And this one girl goes, did you just think of that? And I was like yeah, and she was like oh And it was silent, like nothing, dude,

nothing it was. And I just realized, no one's gonna give me credit for that being kind of clever and fun and like the fact, like I connected a lot of things there. We were in a bus that's not just it was like doing a dad joke that like it was a pretty skilled dad every it's still pun but it takes into a lot of things into account. So it's like, fuck you got. And then we just had to just I'm so happy that I am a Kappa Kappa game, like all these different tiers. I knew

then though, that I had to get out. That was the moment where I was I just will never forget. Did you just think of that? Which for some reason? Why is that? Why is that a question anyone else? Did you just think of that? It is the answer you want? Yes or no. I never know what to give people when they say that, did you just think of that? They want you to say, I know, I

thought no. I planned this. I was waiting for the perfect time, and I actually suggested we get these busses so that the joke would work because someone wanted us to get a bunch of limos, and I said, nay, that will not work for my joke. I need to be elevated to the point where our heads could get chopped off there for decapitating. I hope she's out there something about a joke at that moment to where it's like there was there a lout of silence? Was it

out of nowhere? Do you feel like do you think you you sold it too hard? So I was thinking about it a little bit before of like when is this going to be a good time to say it. But I'm I'm guessing I came up with it within the seconds and I probably sat on it for maybe a minute tops, And then I think I probably I'm not an idiot when it comes to window put in jokes. I remember it being met in such a way that I go, you guys aren't cool, Like that was not on me. Maybe it was a little lame, but I

know when I'm lame, that wasn't lame. That was actually fun and that should have gotten me friends. And none of you, I like, none of you. What's interesting, Like I'm thinking back at I was a pike at two Lane, and uh, you know, I've told some stories on here about it before. But I was so depressed my freshman year in college. I wasn't going to class. I was watching Rudy and one porn every day Columbine kids pretty much. I just didn't have a trend stary. That's all I

can think about right now. Yeah. Um, and I was I and my I know, sheets on my bed, and I was anti fraternity. I was doing a fraternity because my brother was in the fraternity. I think about this now like maybe I was actually a little bit ahead of myself, but I didn't do anything about it in the sense of knowing that this wasn't for me. Although I do have great friends from that fraternity, But the whole idea of hazing I never hazed. Even when I became of good, that's good. I'm glad that they you

made it then, because you were maybe changing that. Oh well, yeah, well plenty of kids got hazed, right. Difference trying to start a podcast and he's like, all the podcasts that are successful with three guys are all just like so BROI and like sports and like and he's like, I

just don't know that we can do that. And I'm like, that's why you need to do it, because they're if they're all like that, we need you need you joining a frat, a guy that's not gonna hate is you need someone to go Actually, if we're gonna try something different and maybe no one likes it, maybe they go

get out, you fucking lose. There aren't a lot of podcasts where it's just too platonic friends that are man and woman, you know what I mean, Like where we don't have an agenda and we just go boom boom boom with the news. We get through so many stories. We are on fire every day just going through the topics. Topics topics. Um yeah, I mean my point was you need to get when you aren't the same as something,

it's maybe important for you to join. It's hard because you're like, I don't fit in because you don't know you know, like anything. It's like, what's my friend group going to be like outside of that? You know? Like if I decided to quit this fraternity freshman year after I just again, I gave six months to it. So now that I gave time to have like huge regrets

in life, I think about this. They were talking about it on Millenny and Conan when they were talking about on his podcast, Uh well, he was talking about people that say like or Conan, I guess said like people that were like no regrets and Conan regrets working too hard at SNL and taking it too seriously and not having a little bit more fun and enjoying the process. And Millany talked about how the first time he did SNL as a host, he was in his head that

everyone doesn't want me here. They look at me as a writer, They're like, why is this guy coming back to host? Like so much pressure he had like no fun the whole time and it went well. But he promised hisself even if he ever did it again, he would have fun the whole time. And he did it again, and he made sure he had fun during the process. And then he said, if the show isn't as good as it doesn't matter because I want to enjoy my life. And and they're talking about no regrets, and Milani said

the funniest thing of um, yeah, no regrets. Uh that's not something we uh, we talk a lot about and there's no like no regrets rehab. He's like, that's not that's no, it's all regrets like you you should there's no regrets thing. But I do believe I have no regrets because I there's few there's fewer regrets in my life than I would think that I would have because most of my regrets have led to things that I

wouldn't see happening. But there are some things that I go I wish I would have done that differently, But not a ton. Do you have any that come to mind? I think when you become successful or whatever your idea of successes and what you're pursuing, it's hard to go back and you go. If that was different, I wouldn't be here exactly. So then I think it depends those kind of people say no groups, no, what do you want? I think it depends how much you like yourself at

the moment that you're being asked that. I don't think it depends about that or where you're at in like whatever you were pursuing. But that being said, I mean I could go back to a time in high school where I know I could have tried harder and worked harder in regards to sports. Also school, but also mostly sports were like I just I went by because I was decent at so I didn't try that hard. I think about that too. With those kind I'm like, oh, I wish I wouldn't have listened to that person that

said I was a good singer and started younger. And then I think maybe have already been burned out by now. Maybe I would have played and been like this, like I know so many guitarists who are just like, yeah, I'm good, but I just don't even play. And I'm like, the enthusiasm might have from guitar right now in my life is just I would not write that for anything. It's the best feeling in the world being this novice

and like being cited about it. So in some ways, I'm like glad I didn't or like the way you like. I feel like for so long yesterday I was trying to add the podcast and watch you go live on our Instagram page Nikki Glazer Pod, and you were just going boom boom boom through all like these different genres

and singing, standing, sitting. I just to I played for like three hours yesterday and it's it's and it's it sucks because I have to be on my phone doing it, and you if you go away from the live to check an email or anything, it goes blank and you lose people watching. And I just don't want to disrespect people that are like giving their time to watching me play guitar, you know, as good as I can. Um'm not gonna insult myself, but you know what I wanted

to say. And so I see all these texts coming in of like from my assistant being like, hey this email I just sent you responded. I'm just like, for this moment, no one can get to me. It's kind of beautiful. It's like I'm on airplane mode. I'm on Jefferson airplane mode and sometimes I play a Jefferson. No, I don't know any of defferent airplane songs, but I it's golf. It's the same as golf. To me. It

is my favorite thing to do. People that watch on our Instagram live, thank you so much for being there. I would perform for two of you. But the fact that there's a lot of times, like fifty people watching and a lot of people who are confused. Um, it's it's my favorite thing to do. I mean, I still remember you like debating on plane in front of people, and then that was kind of like the first thing you did was go on live and it gave you a confidence. The first time we were on live and

I was like, can I play one song? And then you just like sing to it because it was just always like I don't want I never wanted to be like I always wanted it to which I do this with stand up to like if I feel like my stand up isn't good enough all, like have a dance at end of it, like something you can get from it. So like if you didn't like me singing, at least Andrew is gonna be funny in this. So like I would incorporate Andrew like you can get something out of it.

And now at the this point, everyone that's watching knows that I don't think I'm good. I don't think I'm cool. I kicked Kyle donn again out of it yesterday. He showed up and I was like, buy gyle and I literally kicked him out because I was like, no, this is for people who know we're not gonna I mean, Kyle is so sweet and he wrote and he was like, you're so good. Why don't you let me watch? I'm like, because you're a singer song. He's a musician and a comedian and it would be a fun live with him

and him play piano. Is it? You can't go live with someone? It because the delay you cannot sing with someone. Um, it's kind of a great thing because that way I don't have to like sing with I could just keep it because I just find so much. But people go, how have you gotten so much better than the last time I checked? And I'm like, this is the only

thing I do. I don't practice that much outside of that, and if I do, it's so nice because I'll work on a song and I'll bring it there and people will be like, whoa, this is really good, and I'm like, oh my god, practice works like it's like at least two hours. Do you know that? Right? Yeah, it was like I have to put the pot out soon. I

know it's it was ridiculous. And you luckily came into the chat and we're like, hey, could you review the UM imaging for like you were like sweet, being like I'm just gonna go in here and bring her in box tours like it's time you got I. Speaking of golf, I gave Andrew this UM. I bought him some golf magazines for his birthday, and I went through it and I did what my friend Taylor does, which is a

great gift. If you're a funny person and you like writing jokes, going through buying a magazine and then writing things in the magazine, making like little captions, making fun of stuff in the magazine is just a really fun thing to do. So I just want you to flip through that and and maybe read some of them. I don't even remember what I did. This was, you know, April seventeen, but you know who's counting. I did her on the seventeen, is what I'm saying. Oh you did

the day before? Okay, um retrodus easter Okay. Ellen Wood said, if she tack Tiger today, this would it's an ad for a golf It's an yeah, yeah, yeah, so this is an ad for a golf club. Uh. Ellen is Tiger Wood's ex wife. And what Nikki thinks the ad should be is ellen Wood said, if she attack Tiger today, this would be the club she'd used. And it's actually did you know? Did you? Is it the same kind of clumb No, But there's a second joke here that I don't know if it's called rogue, So going rogue?

Who the club is called? Like that, she would have gone rogue? Okay? A blade unlike any other, Men love a try hot putter. Men love when things they buy are displayed in pieces. So it's like a deconstructed putter. It's like, so either I make a comment about the ad itself, or I act, or I put it in quotes like the add is saying it, or I put in quotes like the man in the adda saying it. So what do you mean by that? Like like like let me give you here, no no, no, like in pieces?

What do you mean by that? Like Men love when objects that they want to buy are like deconstructed to be like this part goes into this and like if they buy a toaster, they want to see like the insides of it, like this is a machine like Tesla is always like I was going like really dark terminator no, no, terminator no, not like up in its guts. I was seeing like a body like Jesus. Okay, well come this John baname in my head. Alright, one size doesn't fit all.

This is all for drivers, different drivers, the Stealth Driver, the Rogue and the LTD l as Nikki Road. If your club doesn't look like a Transformer Goose, then you're a little pussy bitch. Yeah, these clubs are like Transformer gooses. Wait, just show it really quick, No, turn it around. So the goose heads are. If your club doesn't look like a Transformer Goose, then you're a little pussy bits I like that one. It is it is they all are like they all look like like big man toys. Like

that's what this is all about. They all look like Transformer like toys that you would buy your nephew at Target. What does that say? I probably can't read it really Wait, let me see all right, it's it's an article that no one reads. It's in the front. It's always these like long articles that are by the editor. The editor is always like, hey, I'm ted, so this week's this month's issue is really part of my heart. You know, when I first grew up in South Carolina, it's always

this like something that literally no one ever reads. Or the articles about last last issue. Hanging out with Tiger all day it was so amazing. So this is a feedback we got from the Tiger WOZ article was fantastic. Yeah, this is a this is a bubble coming out of the guy's mouth. Is this what he's saying? Yes, no one reads these ever. To prove it, I wrote the N word above below a bunch below. Yeah, well that's

that's not a bad thing. No, no, no, I literally could write the N word a million times and he wouldn't get the board because no one's ever read a note from the editor. Actually, it's golf magazine where people would buy it. Um, these are missing. Okay, this is oh okay, okay, let's go to this one. It's a man and a woman. Uh, the guy standing next to his golf clubs and the woman just goes, why am I here again? I feel more warmth and affection from

these clubs. And then the clubs have something to say about it. They say they leave her. John. So it's a woman next to a man who's standing next to his clubs. The woman is not why is she there? We don't know. It's just to be like I have a wife and she's probably like I'm getting in on this photo shoot John, And I like that he has two sets of clubs, Like yeah, it's like just like he probably has two sets of girlfriends too. Um so yeah, that's right, Like you just's I wish you told me this.

I thought you just bought a magazine, like you know what. I thought you open it up and will be fun surprise, because I thought you would open up magazine that I what did I spent on that? Like? How much are those? It's it's a customer mountainda. Well we were. I was thinking about Canada that day. I was thinking about m the police officer. Let's get to the news. This guy is awesome. Oh boy, you heard it here first. Apparently hope for having all the swells out there. It's been

a hell of a week, got a great weekend. Coming up in Boston and Foxwoods. I got four shows and two nights. I'm bringing it. I'm gonna have a very I gotta I gotta get these shows tight. You're not getting an hour and a half from old Glaze Dog because I will not be able to give a good show if I do that. So I'm keeping I'm figuring out my set list tonight and I'm gonna do a very concise boom but new jokes, rapid fire fun. Just like the news rapid fire. We're not gonna go over.

It's not gonna be about one bit. There will be no but I do want if you're going to the meet and greets, um, we gotta keep it quick, especially if it's on the first show. Like, I know that that's a lot of pressure. Don't feel that pressure. Don't be like, oh my god, I don't want to waste your time. Take your time. But like, we're gonna have to make him a little bit snappier. So just think about what you want to say or don't or just wing it fucking I don't care. I love it, but

make it quick, seriously, like speed it up. The family of a twelve year old boy is suing Apple claiming he has permanent hearing loss after wearing his air pods during an amber alert. It caused tonitus and now he suffers from dizziness and must wear a hearing aid. I would not, um, I would. I bet this is the thing. I mean, those amber alerts are so freaking loud and uh,

you can't the volume. That's what they're saying that even though he had the volume down while he was watching like a Netflix movie or something, the amber or the amber loud comes through louder, almost like an ad for amber. Ale Um. Yeah, I mean those amber alerts and they win any kind of siren when I when a fucking fire truck comes by, plug my ears. That stuff is so damaging. I think so many people have tendedis tenitis um and suffer with it because we are living in

an age of like loud. You know, since the sixties, it's been just loud music. I know, I just what you think. It's a little litigious and ridiculous. I don't know. I mean, look, I I always find it interesting when these things happen and then it's like, oh, we get to sue now, or like they connected dots, like anyone that died from mesotheman noba or whatever the hell that word is. Like they're like I almost died listening to try to get through that word, and I'm going to

sue you. You have tendonitis in your ears? Tis anyhow did they win? How much money are they? I know what you're saying, Like do you feel like people just get to like excited as soon as think bad episodes? And they're like suit, well that in like connecting and to the amber alert. I guess maybe the kid came in because it's like I'm sure he was like and like threw him out of his ears. So, Nikki, you've you've talked about wearing your air pods and now like

they just cancel all the noise outside. You're so it's so blocked everything is I've never um, but now it makes me a little bit nervous. I'm sure they're going to update something so that it doesn't happen that way, but they do block out the noise in such a way it is. I wore them yesterday without any noise. Like you know, I was listening to a podcast something

that distracted me and call came through. It didn't start again, and I just had them in my ears with the air, the noise canceling, and I was like hearing my thoughts. I was hearing my brain like making connection. I'm not kidding you. Like I felt like I was on drugs because it was so like my mama open nutcrating dum, I'm not putting with a glossop dum. I could hear

like my dogs looking at me. It was so weird. No, I get that's what I was also on mushrooms, but no, I also think it's so funny that this family's like suing for the amber alert, and now amber alerts are just gonna be like, hey, there's a child can like they're no, what's good? What's that is that an amber alert doesn't sound like an alert. That sounds a lot like a whisper, a baby in a car somewhere whatever.

I don't even hear it. Actually, that would get my attention more of someone's Like if my phone was like, yeah, what's that there's a baby I just got stolen by it's dad. What's the license plate? It's XR too, uh huh killer b b k k L. Then the amber alert person is going to sue that their kids didn't get found because it wasn't loud enough. Yeah, I mean, I'm I hate to make it about combine, but I always do. Dude, I am this book. I cannot recommend enough.

I have never you know, I don't recommend things this heavy, like I recommend everything, but this is like, this book is so fucking good. I already searched the guy to go what else did he write? Guess what? He wrote? The book called Columbine. It's called Columbine, by the way, A lot of people wrote me being like, what is it called? He wrote another book park Land, So I'm just like, he's just writing all about all. He's so good anyway, Um, a lot of because of the killer.

The killers killed themselves obviously at the end of it. People didn't have anywhere to put the anger and to blame, and so the guys that sold them the guns unknowingly fucking people sell guns to miners accidentally. I think the time they got he got you know, the maximum penalty and then ended up being you know, but like did they they had to punish someone, so they that was the only person that was dried for this, and then you know, their parents got sued, you know, the killer's parents.

You know, people were just suing everyone after the fact, and it's just a fascinating rate. Oh my god. And I just got to the part like do you want to know why it happened? Do you want to know why he did it? Why? Eric Harris did it? And Dylan Clewold was just more of a follower than anything. He thought he was going to kill himself before it actually happened. He really didn't even want to do it, but then he forgot to kill himself or he like didn't get the nerve to kill himself, and so he

was like, funk, I gotta do this. He really didn't. He only like shot like five maybe like he compared to Eric, He's not like two percent of the bullets that Eric shot. Eric was the mastermind, did he Yeah? They both killed themselves. Why didn't do you know why? Eric? He was a psychopath, which is a very interesting thing to go why is this happening? Was it about the jocks? Was it he was a nerd? He was mad about

a girl. He know he was a psychopath, always go to murder, but he was a murderous psychopath, which is a small percentage of psychopaths. But this goes back to and they are incurable. Okay, but people go and I get giving someone that's mentally insane, I feel like we give him like the benefit that like, oh he's not going to jail. He was, you know, he complete insanity, but the jocks didn't play play insanity. Oh and he

had nothing he didn't care about talks. No, no, no, my I'm saying though, like a lot of times we separate those two things. I feel like, yeah, I mean it was definitely like you know what I'm saying, the fact that he was able to get guns helped the fact that he was able to uh yeah, and I'm sure he's mad at someone he was a psychopath. But other things leg no, no, no, he I mean, yes, things, things lead to things, but he yeah, those things would

not affect him if he weren't a psychopath. I go back to my point of all this is that so this buffalo shooter that happened I was fucking horrendous and fucking had the N word on his gun. He had someone that whatever he was insane racist that was people are claiming people then go, he's a psychle Like Tugger Carlson didn't take any blame even though he fucking puts

his ship in people's heads. He goes, well, he was a psychopath, and then once you hear something, it's like it's a way to like go well, oh, then it's a way to get out of it. Well, all the racist ship was still there. He's also a psychopath. Yeah, they pick an avenue. I mean Eric Harris was a racist too. He was completely into being a Nazi. He used the N word all the time throughout the shooting throughout What kind of nazi is not a cycle bath? Like?

But that's the thing. It's like psychopaths, Well, if they are said on destruction, like and are these two different types of psychopaths are the ones that commit mass murder like this? Uh, there's many different psychopaths, but there's two types that they've found that are like the ones that do this. They it they'll find they will be racist. I mean it's I know these you know Fox News and Stuthing that definitely got in this kid's head. But um,

without his I'm not saying it's an excuse. Without him being a psycho, Carlson can't even help the fact that he's a fucking idie. It, Like, I almost don't blame him for that I'm not. I don't blame literally anyone for anything. I just think it's unfortunate because there's no free will, and i'm you know, operating on that level. It still makes people still make me mad, and I still go like, fucking you need to be stopped. But no one can help the way they are. And it's

so interesting just to hear that. You threw this throughout this whole book, You're just going why did he do this? Where was his motive? He had a good life, he was a he was a cute kid, He got laid, he had a job like and it was because he had an extinction fetish. He wanted to like, he wanted the whole world to burn, and he wanted to bring

about the extinction of man. He hated humans. He was he saw himself as a god, not God, but a godlike And it's fascinating that it's just a really I mean, I'm sorry to spoil it for you that he's a psychopath, but it is an interesting part of the book where you go why because he seems to have compassion, even people that watched I mean, sorry to there's this thing a catalyst. No, no, it was always it was always gonna end this way. He became. Yeah, he became more

and more. There were different things that happened when he got He got arrested at one point, and that made him really angry. He um, he his one of his friends got a girlfriend. Like there were things like that that pushed him along. But um, they're almost There's a part of the book where they said they went through his journals and they read, well, if it wouldn't have gone this way, here's another way it could have gone.

Because he was already writing about fantasies of raping and ripping girls throats with his mouth and crushing their skulls like visceral, disgusting things that I mean, he would have turned into a a Damer or a Ted Bundy type Like this was like, what's gonna break? Sorry to get so much into this, but it's such a good funk. I'm so fascinated. We're gonna breaking come back with fantas We're back. We're gonna skip this sports moment today. We're just gonna get right to fantex. We got too much

to get through. Let's do it. One guy angry, like picturing a guy with one of those finger things and he's like one time a week. Now he's a psychopath shooting come on. Okay, wait, So I wanted to start off with the letter that we got um an email to the Nicky Gleser podcast at gmail dot com. Okay, and uh it comes from bestie Sarah. Photo of you guys. Oh cute that was in um? Where was that? That was that in Stand Francis? Maybe? Uh? New Jersey? Oh

that was last week? Okay? Cool? Okay, so she goes. Hi, Nikki. I just wanted to write in and say thanks for such an amazing show in Montclair. I had the best time. You and Andrew both killed it. Okay blah blah blah at the meat and greet. I also wanted to give you a little plug to encourage other besties to attend your show alone if they can't coordinate something with friends. I was really nervous beforehand, but as soon as I sat down, I met another bestie and we hit it

off right away. It was exactly what you said when we instantly had so much to talk about because we both love the pod. Then throughout the show, it was so fun to have someone to turn to and laugh with when you reference something we heard on various episodes. Yes, so anyway, thanks again for all you do. Love you

bestie XO xo. Sarah's connection kind of story through you. Yeah, it's like it's that's that warms my heart so much, And I so appreciate people just like having the nerve to go do something that might be scary for them to go alone and then to strike up a conversation

with someone else going on. It's just really cool and using that probably should say it off air, but because it could probably be impossible to do, but like a st section like all the people that do it would be so fun and don't tell him though and have them figure it out. But no, no, it could be really cool. It would be fun to have like a little section where they you just we direct certain things to them, and then it would get other people that don't know about it to be like, what is this thing?

I want to know what is Anti speaking of? So I was watching you on with um what's his name Kevin? Oh yeah, on KFC Radio KFC Radio, Yes, and he brought up cut and it was so funny because at first he just kind of kept talking, but then you're like, yeah, this is a word that I use and it was so he liked its incredible. I was what I thinked about it was that he wasn't like he just got it immediately and was, you know, just tickled by it.

And I really appreciated that response as opposed to being like, Okay, this is so weird girl with a weird word. But it's like, choogie is another word that the kids are using that means kid. You know, we're we're talking yesterday about Taylor Swift saying, um, things are cringe, but it's just me, oh, he gives me the ick. But choog e h e u g y is a thing that kids are saying a lot that you know, gen z is.

But it's I think if like really took, I've just wanted to took all um who said could to me yesterday? Oh yeah I ran into a bus down the street yesterday and she was like I think she mentioned cut. I mean, I just love anyone mentioning cut because it really is a thing. And especially in the barstool world, I mean, oh yeah, they want to call out every day,

those guys fucking c ship or here ship. That's so BROI and so just like fantastic that they're like really like, just because you're involved in it doesn't mean you don't see the dumb ship. Kevin Clancy, I do like because he he knows that Barstools cat and like there's a I like those guys some Twitter where someone was calling them out for going back I'm liking Big Jay's song about you or something. Oh yeah, well he apologized to me for not defending it during the during the Legion

of Skanks. Oh you said it, you said it. I've heard that they are mad that I'm not addressing which podcast it was. It's Legion of Skanks. If you want to hear them talk about I still have people like I went Live with Rachel the other night on Instagram, people were like, alright, peebop sag it. Like I could see like those guys like making fun of me. Um no, I Big j and I are actually hitting the road with brit Chrisher this summer and we got we got some plans and we are don't worry about us. We're

doing just fine. No, it was nice of Kevin to say I should have stood up for you. I mean he was It's hard, and maybe maybe he was just saying that that's fine too. I don't call him, call him a gass kisser. I don't give us Columbine, Columbine, it's so funny. Oh my god. Okay, the next story boom boom. Okay, let's go to Emily. Since we're on the subject of Hi, Nikkio and Andrew. I'm Emily from Denver, Hi, and I wanted to share a potential co with you.

It's actually perpetrated by me. And I'm afraid to tell anyone else about this because I think it comes off so caa. But I joined a band and after a lot of our shows, like drunk strangers, strange guys like will come up to me kind of expecting a hug, like opening up their arms for a hug, and kind of touchy and talking to me like they've never seen

a girl playing guitar before. It's just so annoying. Um. But I feel like if I were to tell anyone else this, it sounds like I'm just complaining that people are just so into me because I'm such a cool rocker, right and I just have to beat them away with the stick. But it's really not like that. I just feel like I just have to deal with these drunk

guys punishments because I want to play guitar on stage. Um, but I'll defer to your your judgment, Cat and I'll wait sencing because they're well, they're they're they're just trying to get laid and trying to I mean, as a female comic, people always want to go like, you're the only female comic good like or like. I don't like female goes. But you're people like, and they're not a lot.

We don't see a ton of female I don't know what guitar, lead guitar whatever, you never you don't see a lot of female shredding as much as you do men and the whole idea of lead guitars. Keith Richards fucking to do Dramara Smith the other guy? God, will you send me? I want to see you, know what I mean? Guys do it in Denver. I have friends in Denver. I'll have them come see you. That's so cool.

But no, I don't think you because I often talk about things like, oh I have a lot of people saying this to me, or I've got recognized here, and it's like you're just stating facts you're not saying a lot of times people do say that stuff to be cool. But sometimes it's just a fact. And it's like some people get mad when I'm like, well I'm a little bit more famous now so this they go, oh, why are you saying that? It's like, because it's true. I'm not saying I'm fame like I'm Angelina Jolie, but it

is true. More people know who I am that I don't know, so that equals true. So it doesn't just because if it's it's cool if you're saying it to be cool. But if it's true and you're just stating a fact to support another statement, not so I d M you not gavel not. Yeah. And she also like some people it comes off but they're just they're feeling embarrassed or if they're they're feeling insecurity and hugging you, they're not being cult. They just don't want to hug you. Like.

That's I think people forget that sometimes that people can come off as like to cool to care for school, Yeah, they might be scared of journeys. Also a lot of times besties, I'll be like this person hated me, and then afterwards they write me and they're like, I got so nervous. I don't know what's saying. I'm like, I never ever think someone hates me now when they're like a little bit weird, don't worry. You will not offend me. If you don't know what to say and you're like,

I should probably think I'm an asshole. I know so much now that that usually means they like you a lot or I just protect myself in that way. So um not alright, So up next, we have been with a little bit of information for you since you talked about this recently. Hey, Nikki Andrew, this has been big

fan of both of you. I appreciate this podcast and puddles and hook to golf with Andrew that sometime in my lifetime, at some point in my lifetime, I was listening to the most recent episode owed where you were talking about how much of soul ways and I've been an I See you nurse for several years. Several and multiple families have asked me to weigh their family members as they were on comfort care and dying, so like, while they're on a morphine drip and they're still breathing,

they'll have me weigh them. And then when they're declared Claire dead by myself and the doctor, then they'll have me weigh them too. Uh yeah, to see. I think it was like they wanted seven or something. Um and yeah, so far from me, the weight has never changed. Um and yeah. I had never heard about it until the family member asked me to to do it on you know, the way, their way their family member. Interesting. Anyways, I was just thinking about thinking about you guys in that scenario.

That's all I have for you, Wow, Jack Russell. What people ship theirselves when they die? Oh, but the ship would be on the scale with them if they were like if the scale was the bed, you know, or I was thinking the morphine drip could like add to them if a little drip. Also, I think it's I think it's not something that would be negligible on a regular scale. I think it's like Grahams, which is like

the size of like, you know, a few feathers. I think that's what like a soul ways, it's something there's some movie called something Grahams and it's Yeah, but I don't think that's right. I think that was twenty one Jump Street is what I was thinking of. I just combine thirty three dresses. What was that dresses? I don't know maybe yeah, your soul wass twenty seven wedding dresses. Um, okay. Next that that guy, I really man, I want to know his story. I want to know the things he's seen,

what's brought him there? What? And how does he not see it at night? And how does he how does he separate the two things. I don't understand how people can parliamentalize. I never understood how my dad could do it. That book that I read about hospice care nurses or Chaplin was so good and talked a lot about it. All right, thank you, ben Um. We want to hear more from you, and we hope you're doing okay. You'd be a great guest. Oh yeah, like end of life

stuff talking to him. But seeing I see you nurse fuck yeah, okay, maybe we'll have him one nurse. Um, see you, nurse Colin Bine and I see you nurse ahead. Yeah, I mean we're on a roll today, heads rolling, okay, alright now, Next fan trax Okay, next fan trax is from our bestie Jordan's Oh j Hi, Nikki and Andrew and Noah. I hope that all three of you are

feeling all of the freaking swells today. UM. I just uned yesterday and I realized it is the first birthday in a really long time, UM that I was not like overly sad or crying on my birthday, which is honestly really rare. I thought that everybody is sad or overly emotional on their birthdays. UM, but then I found out for my friends, so that is on our own. So anyway, UM, two parts of the question. One, I'm curious if any of y'all feel overly sad or dramatic

or just emotional on your birthdays. And too, if you had a song or a song lyric that you think fully encapsulates, um, your twenty five of your life. What would it be, something that encapsulates your five or that you wish you knew at what would be? What a good question? Anyway, I love you guys so much. This podcast has truly changed my life. I'm so so so grateful for you guys, so so much. UM, don't be just um Jordan hap Um. Okay, First, do you guys

get emotional on your birthdays? I think I don't. If anything, I go to the other way and I try I don't make a big deal out of it. Usually is it to avoid the emotion maybe and to avoid the people like celebrating you and like talking about probably and just you're older that and maybe I just don't want to talk on the phone on my birthday. Yes, oh my god, there's those things. But yeah, I definitely I don't get too emotion I don't think like, oh another year,

Like I don't go that deep with it. Usually I wonder what Jordan's If we could figure out what Jordan's getting sad about, I'm sure there's something deeper than just like, oh, it's just my birthday gets sad like you know what I mean, it's and it's if she does it every year and it always has been this way as long as she can remember. She's a young girl. It's not about aging, I doubt. I doubt it's about it might

be about like aging out of childhood. Maybe it started for her that but um or another year she was thirty five, I could see her being like I could sad because that's when people start going, I'm old even though you're so fucking not. But um, And I say that as a Roman who is about to be thirty eight in like a week. And I I will say, though I get really sad on my birthday because it means it's almost over and I don't and I don't believe look forward to my birthday. I don't even look

forward to my birthday anymore. I don't like I'm not It's almost like a burden because I have to do something and I have to like answer but you calls and text and stuff like that. It's it's left over from childhood of being so excited about my birthday, a day all for me, fun, presents, all the things, and just that residual um hangover of like so much fun and now it's over and I have to wait three sixty five days, sixty six if it's a leap here

for another one. And that's so like this year, I'm doing karaoke on my birthday, but I'm doing it my birthdays on Wednesday. I'm doing it on Tuesday because I want. I don't want to feel sad at the end of it, like at least tomorrow is my birthday and it's not today. Some people do birthday months. I'm trying to bring in a birthday year. This year, it's my birthday. I celbert the whole year that every year it's my birthday. Um, Noah,

what do you what do you feel about birthdays? You're someone who's kind of like yeah, So, UM, I think even though I would probably want to say I'm not emotional, I think the fact that I don't like I try to push down my feelings about birthdays means that I am emotional. Yes. And Um, I had a huge breakthrough because I did the hypnosis thing last day about like being like center of attention and all that stuff, and um, I just I had a memory of when I was

a kid, like maybe thirteen or something. Um, I don't have to like, I don't know if I want to go all the way into it, but I connected the two about me wanting to be like not wanting to be center of attention or not having eyes on me

and stuff. And basically the reason for it is because one, I'm a middle child, so I was always craving attention, but whenever I got attention, it was always because it was always negative, because it was always like if I did something bad or you know, just like a negative comment or something. So it's like you crave it so much, but when you get it, it makes you feel bad. So I'm avoiding it as an adult, because I my

brain thinks that whatever it's gonna be, it's gonna be bad. Yes, if they do see me, if they do attend to me, they'll see that I'm doing something wrong if they look too closely, Like if I do get seen, because in the past I've been seen what I'm doing something wrong. Therefore, if someone looks at me, they'll start to notice she's actually not that cool, like something wrong that's interesting. And the whole thing with like the wedding dress and stuff

and not wanting to do a wedding or anything. I just could not believe the memory that came to me. So I'll I'll tell you real quick. When I was a kid and we moved to this country, I only got hand me downs from my cousins who were had big breasts. I was like the skinny little thing. Nothing ever fit me. My mom used to so close together for me, and she was not a seamstress. It was just like I just looked so gross. I just hated when she sold me stuff. So we had one big argument.

She made me wear this like velvet black dress that she sewed, and it just looked so lopsided. And we were supposed to go to like the ballet, and I just remember having so much apprehension about being outside and people seeing me in this ugly fucking dress that she made for me, and um, that is connected to my ill feelings about being in a wedding dress because I had no control over what dressed. That you were out of control and that was going to give you attention

which you already were scared of getting. Oh my god, I was just like, I can't be outside. I don't want anyone to see me like this. I just wanted to like crawl into a hole and die. It's so wild. So that came up out of nowhere, that memory, Like you had not thought about that since then? I haven't

thought about that dress. And that was how hypnosis. Yeah, I got brought up because I love it were under hypnosis when they got brought up, Like did you say that verbally and the guy bring sets it back to you or what happens? Yeah, So it's like a whole process. You talk through stuff and then um, you know, she'll

she'll count down. And I felt like I was like partly awake and I was just trying to like whatever the first thing that came to my mind that's what I would say, And that was the first thing that came to my mind, that that memory. I love that because it's it's again no free will, like you can't control your thoughts. I love when a thought of cursed to you where you're like, I don't know where that came from, that just like came out of fucking nowhere,

which literally every thought comes out of nowhere. But when you really feel like, well that was somewhere, this memory, and it just served up, and like, I think that gnosis can really let you see how much and also meditation you aren't in control of your thoughts and that things come up that you might need someone else to help you, like give clear the passageways for those things to come up because they're trying to get through and they might not be able to and you're repeating behaviors

to yah and those thoughts. It's definitely being exposed to meditation and having done it, even though I haven't done it for a while, which I probably should get back to. Reason why makes me? It makes me think about why I don't like birthdays either. And I'm a middle child as well. But I think if I had to connect the dots, the bar Mitz. I was kind of happy about them. My parents were officially divorced. And any time there was an event where it had to have both

parents there, it had to be organized. One had to do it, the other one didn't. It was always there was a lot of anxiety leading up to it. S your mom get nervous. You would see just like it would just be a whole thing. That's definitely maybe through hypnosis of Noah got hypnos final thought, can you come to my birthday next? I think it's next Tuesday. It's to tuesdays from now. Well, Chris is going to find some room to get Karrie. He it was so funny.

He wrote me a list of people. He was like, I wrote a list of like people to invite to it. I have, like I have no friends in this town, and I'm not asking for any because I'm a little like backed up, But I've got I might I might put out the like I might say Bestie's invited. I'm going to see how big the space is and what

we can do with it. Um but again it's gonna be I like karaoke, because I want to do every song and I don't want Bettie's just have come and watch me and my f But if that's something you might be into knowing that your song might not get picked because the priority is going to be my be and my family. No offense. Um that I love to have and we and I would definitely hug you and take pictures and talk to you and accept your gifts. I'm just kidding. Um. Yeah, maybe I'll put it on

Instagram live too. That's a good idea because it would be Oh my god, my parents and me doing karaoke. It's gonna be so fun. My mom always hurts my feelings because I want to sing a song with her

and she just wants her own song. And I think karaoke is something that you can do with someone no no, no, like with people you like no. I know, I'll sing with Bessie's yeah, like and I think that's that actually is better because I think karaoke is so embarrassing to be like when you're really belting something out and trying to like own the room like an American Idol audition, it's like you like said no, she was like, I

don't want to sing with you. I want my own song, and I'm just like, okay, Actually I would never sing with you unless you were my daughter. Exactly hurt. My mom goes, you know they made me say that. I don't know they did it. No one, no one even knows that that's the thing that you could even possibly think, Nikki. I was given them what they wanted. When I said that, I was given them what they wanted. No, Mom, no, you weren't. You were being honest. It's okay, you're you

wouldn't be a fan of mine. But I know, my mom is you didn't see the card, Nick, My god, I know it's it's so I've been in that situation. Mom. They did not ask you to do that. You could have said any number of things, supportive things actually, and that would have been fine too. He chose to say a thing that no one would have even come up with of, Like the thing they wanted you to say was if she wasn't my daughter. I could enjoy this, but it's hard to listen to my daughter talk like

a porn star. But instead she gave them If she wasn't my daughter, I still wouldn't like this. The only reason I'm here is because she's a mother. Always bothers me about being a mother or being family is that they love you just because they your family. I'm like, I want to earn it. I want you to love me because I'm nice and I'm fun and I'm funny, like I don't like with everyone else though then that get that is the beauty of unconditional love right too?

Because I didn't I didn't do anything like I understand like, but I want I want my mom to like me for me, just because I came out of her. That's what I'm talking about. So there is an episode coming up I think where I go, Mom, why do you like having me home? And she cannot come up with a reason. Got I think is a sugar substitute that has no calories. Um oh yeah, Zeba, alright, one more

fantast of your time. Sure, Actually this is right on on subjects right, Okay, So here's a voicemail from Anna, Hey, Nikki Andrew, Noah, my name is Anna, and I just wanted to come on here. I don't have a script, so I'm gonna sound like a crazy person because I have a d D and I'm gonna go all over

the place and I just know it. But I was like, I'm listening to myself put some advice on how to set boundaries with my mother specifically, because I just feel like she's still trying to keep me in her little

child bubble, you know what I'm saying. Even though I just graduated and became a fucking doctor, she still is just acting like I'm her little daughter and wants to know what I'm doing all the time and wants to know when I'm leaving town to come visit my hometown, which is about an hour and a half away, And I just I can't anymore, and I just need some help on how to address it. I know that I rely on you guys kind of for a lot of different advice because I feel like people ask the same

sorts of questions that I do. But anyway, I also wanted to say a thing that my mom does because I'm just annoyed and like going off in my head about her a little bit lately. And it's the Costco cards, man, the Costco like showing your little membership card when you walk in the door. It's so cup like they don't even look up even to you. But you have to have it hard to get in, Like if you don't have it, no one care. You don't get in. It's just so it's so cringe that we're like flashing this

little card like below our belts and it's just so weird. Anyway, I love you guys so much. Oh my god, and jack Off, I love that I got off. She's fun. Um Okay, I think Anya actually gave me or you some good advice BacT stage, we were talking about something related to this, where someone is like really annoying you with something they're doing. You just go. I love you too. I know you love me, and I know this is

how you show it, but it's pushing me away. And I love you so much and I love that you want me in your life and that you want to know what I'm up to all the time. But I'm just letting you know that you know if anyone did this to me, and I know that you're my mom, and I know you can't help it, but I'm telling you I can't help that. I know you can't help it because you're my mom and this your instinct, but

I can't help that. This is making me resent you and I want to love you, and I know this is coming from love, and so I give you the benefit of the doubt. But I'm going to have to say to you, I I'm this is this is making me so every time your name comes up on my phone, I roll my eyes. And I don't want to feel that way about my mom. And I don't and I and it doesn't have to be this way. Here's a

way that it doesn't. So how about we you you just give her certain things that are off limits, like I've I've had to do this with my mom with certain things where it's like, you, please don't call me when you're drinking. I just don't. And then if she calls me and she and I can send she's drunk, I hang up the phone immediately, because that's a rule we've established. It's good for our relationship. I get triggered, even if she's being so loving and fun and like

she's not really she's had one glass of wine. I can hear her voice. It makes me upset, and I hang up the phone. And if she texts me when she's drunk, I can tell that too. I sometimes engage because it's fun. But you know, my mom does not have a drinking problem, or like my mom does not, her drinking is not does not do to me what it used to do, but because it upsets me so much and I know it's gonna set me off and

I cannot help that. It's my problem, not hers. I set the boundary of if you're gonna drink, it's so fine. I don't give a funk. If you drink, have so much fun, but I'm not going to be around it. But I do not judge you, and I want you to do it. I'm not going to take it as like you love drinking more than me. I just can't do it. And it's really just it's been a great thing for our relationship. Actually, I feel like, yeah, setting boundaries there is something to you know, she became a

doctor like you. I feel like we get we all we have all these moments in our life where we're like, I'm an adult now. Now my parents are going to treat me like an adult because I accomplished this. And what you learn is you're still their kid and you're always be in their eyes unless you go, look, you

have to say something. They're not just going to learn on their own because they still see you just like you saw you see your mom and dad is like whatever age they were, they see you as a fourteen year old kid that you know you just graduated middle school exactly, So I think you just gotta go. Look, mom, I'm this many years old. Scope actually works, it's all a plastic play school one. But also also I would urge our bestie to remember that this is how her

mom shows her that she loves her. I love you too, Mom. That's what Anna said to say, Like when someone's doing go Like if someone's like, hey, did you do you do that thing? Yet? Hey did you do it? Like bugging about something, just go, I love you too. This. I know you're saying that because you love me, but I for some reason that one that really bothers me. So you gotta set boundaries with your mom. I feel like I've been going on too long. But we got

to close up the show. We always do it with a rap, and that was that, and this is that. I don't really know what else to say. There's a llama and a hedgehog sitting in my way. I'm gonna toss it over to Andrew because it's his turn, and you know what, we've got less than to learn. Yeah, you gotta tell your mom that you know a lot about tonsilitis and all the organs. And ship tell her to back off. Say look, mom, I got it. Tell her look I could get into an R rated movie now.

I don't need you to hold my hand. Your dumb bitch, don't say that that was a joke. But if your mom holds up that Costco card again, you know what to say. Call your friend Larry and he'll funing call her a bit. Make sure you get those free samples at Costco because that's good. Alright, guys, don't be cool and uh, we'll see you this weekend in Boston in Connecticut. I think tickets are still on sale. We are also on tour all next week as well and up until

July four, pretty much. So check out those dates and we'll see you on Monday. Je Different grumby Old Men, Classic Two Guys