The Nicky Glazer Podcast. O Ni Glazers, here's Nikki. Hello here I am, I'm Nikki. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. Good Wednesday to you all. Um, I'm here with Andrew Collin in St. Louis. Noah is in Arizona. What's up Noah? Um, Guys, people like don't believe that I live in St. Louis. It's been the funniest phenomenon of like doing press for this show, Welcome back, Nicki Glazer, because the whole all the precess about how I moved back to St. Louis.
There's a reality show and then afterwards these like you know, people like the Kelly Clarksons, the Doctor Phils, the Caitlin Bristows, like these aren't the people that actually said it, but like that, you know, the people interviewing me off air will go so where do you live now? And I go St Louis Like like almost like were you not listening to the interview? Like did you do the j
Leno thing? Jay Leno Notory Sleep had this moment where he interviewed a celebrity and then saw them in the parking lot less than an hour later, and they say goodbye and he didn't remember who they were or interviewing them because he's so just like in a different world when he's interviewing. But that's not the case with these It's that everyone thinks reality shows are fake, so they think that this was just last yesterday. I did Lady Gang podcast and Keltie from that was like, I thought
you were a genius when I saw this. She just came up with this idea. But you know, girl moves back home, which honestly is a great idea. It's something celebrities would do to create a show. And she was like, and then I watched it, and then I looked into it.
I go, she's actually like at home, Like there's actually footage of her with her parents, like currently, like did she pull a Highlie Jenner and like like back up this footage so that she could have it for when she went away to her stuff, you know, and no, but it's just so funny. It keeps happening where people after an interview will go, where are you living now? And I just like, you had your parents buy that house, build it years ago. For today somebody wrote me and goes,
why don't you pay your parents about her house? Because that house is dope. Also, the house is two stories from the back, bitch, oh from the back. Oh yeah, it's a ramp style on the front, but on the back it has it like a mullet of a house. Yeah, it's like built into a hill. It is a bullet house. That house and the best perfect house to me, Like if I would actually own a house, it's so fucking comfortable. It's like a couch. The house is a nice couch.
I don't know if that's what would here, but but I do love that house and it has cool design in it. They've spent a lot of time like making it look cool. It was just like, yeah, why don't you get her one of those houses in Vegas that are made out of ceramic. Yeah, that would be the one, and with a waterfall pool. And I'm not that rich, we'll get richer like my mom a house rich. I mean, I guess I am, But like then it would I'm saving up for when they get cancer. Yeah, I would
rather spend my money on that. Yeah, I mean I wouldn't rather, but like it going will happen, Like people in my life gonna get sick, and I want them to feel okay when they get sick that they don't have to stress out. I've said this before. When you get sick, the bills that you have, that you accrue when you're treating the illness give you so much stress
that your cancer, whatever it is, gets worse. And if you were to get cancer and like know that it was all taken care of, like you know, living in Sweden or somewhere where they take care of that stuff, we would have less illness. Because people stress causes illness, but stress over paying medical bills. It's just also fucked
our country, so fucked. Buy a house for your mom, like late cancer, so then you get you get the house, you know you can don't even have to move into the master just you know what I mean, Oh, buy my mom cancer I could buy I can't cancer. Buy your parents a house when they're the way I did buy the cancer. I buy them you know, pizza from Emos all the time. People that like I just anyone
giving me any kind of ship about anything. I like you literally ingest animals who are suffering, whose whole lives are stress, who are like eating ship living in shit because you you you know, if you if you eat a ballpark hot dog. Sorry, you're eating cancer. That is like something that will cause something in your body later on. I don't eat that ship. I don't think I'm better
than you because I don't. But you don't get to lecture me about the air I'm breathing or the chemicals I'm using in my makeup that's just on my skin. You're actually swallowing and letting it in you. I'm just letting it like hang out with me. It's like cancer's date raping me. But you're getting like attacked and shoved into a bush. Not that there's any difference between those. God, I'm gonna get you, know what I mean. Like, I'm just like casually dating cancer and you're letting you're letting
it fun you and you're letting it in you. So no, no, no, you know, no, get lecture me. But maybe a vegetarian told you to buy your mom's a house. Vegetarians still are eating processed sheep vegan. Yeah, well I don't. I'm not saying there's nothing. I just don't listen. I lecture people all the time. They doth protest too much. Nick, I'm wearing crocs right now. I got crocs. I am obsessed with crocs, but they look so bad and I have boots on. Did you just get those? Ye, Taylor Stitch. Yeah,
they hooked it up nice. I love them, but I guess most vegan friendly shoes. I don't care. Um are they comfortable? I gotta get used to him. I think there's a It's like, I'm sure Ronald McDonald didn't love his shoes the first day he put them on. But their money maker. That what inspired you to go to boots? Who marketmor in? Hep seeing his feet a lot's feet, his feet, his feet, his feed, his feet on his feet. I just know that he rocks really cool boots and
he has cool good He's a cool guy. Yes, he is a very cool He tries very hard to be cool like older and cool. He always has like he has a look. I think he has good taste, so it doesn't probably doesn't need to try. But like some people that just have good taste, so it looks like they have stumbled into that taste. Like if you look, there's a I actually sent him Twitter he has at the comic strip on the Upper east Side. He's wearing like a comically maybe it's for effect, but he just
looks like the nerdiest like you setn't do him on Twitter? Yeah? Does he want? You know? This was years ago? This is like him? And uh he also is a man that a Jewish man probably of um uh descent, who looks way better with facial hair than no facial hair. If you look at photos of him no facial hair at least I see it, and I see that in myself, So I'm like, well, might as well copy is? Look that makes sense? Like I often do the same thing
with um you know women who look like me. I like, I'm like, oh that is a good Like it's easier to picture myself and what they're wearing, and so it's easier to rip off with their fashion. I just know that I'm not Ah, I would love to be a guy that wears these loud colors and like it's kind of gre all over the place because you were like do I wear loud colors? And now today you're like Mark Maron very subdued. You know, you look like Anthony Mark Bourdaine was buried in today, like you go you
are you are habitual. There's there's a word that comes to mind when I think of you. You are impulsive. Yeah, not compulse of impulsive. Yes, do you know the difference? Last night and three in the morning, I bought another pair of boots because now I'm a boot guy? And twice, why do you need another pair? Because I don't like how these are light on the bottom. I wanted one that are dark on the bottom. Makes sense, I just bought some new Um. I love my Adidas high tops
that I got. I stole that idea from Jen, my assistant, who um just they're They're so cool. I don't understand why everyone doesn't wear them, and I don't understand why I'm not getting compliments constantly because they're the coolest looking shoes. They look good with you get more compliments. I don't know why. I know you because these are peacocking. These are what guys where to get girls to be like,
what are you wearing? And then you then you go I like them, and then you're confident we want to fuck you because crocs. Yes, and I got them from Alex Bordy. I think these are both I know no, I knew no it would park up Alex Borty yok yok board of I forget it's like the last name because it's so Russian. But he is one of the most beautiful men everybody made. It's crazy. He came to
our show in um Fort Lauderdale, Is that right? And he has a fashion and he's like he's one someone that wears like bright colors and like will he'll do He'll run the gamut. But he's like very um, yeah, he's so hot. He would wear a male ramper, Yes, yes he would, and he pulled it off because he's just he's a model, you know, he's like that beautiful. If you don't know, he's a guy that was on um Bachelorette. I forget which season, maybe Caitlin's, I don't know.
And I got to know him through the outside Lambs Festival and in San Francisco. I was there with Arden Mirren, who does a podcast about the Bachelor, and she booked she was doing a podcast at this comedy festival that was performing at and she asked me to be a guest on it. And then these guys, all these bat l guys, showed up to be on her podcast. So we were just like hanging with all these Batch guys and he was just so nice and normal. But then he and he's come to my shows over the years,
and um, he brought me at this time. He was like, I want to bring you something was going to be that will um that you don't have on your rider, but that you need. And I was just like I didn't know. He was like, what what do you need? And I'm like, I don't know. What's Florida like one of those shirts with like a bikini painted on it. I was just trying to think of something, like I'll
think of something. And then and I was like, oh my god, he's gonna bring me something like heavy, Like I don't I pack my bags for the road and each one of my bags is always forty nine point five pounds. I'm an expert at having no room in my suitcase for literally anything else or I'm gonna be charged. So when people bring me gifts, always like please be the be light and um, and he brought me crocs, which are the lightest gift you can give. And I had this whole bit about crocs that night that I
he didn't know about. So it was just like so serendipitous. He looked up my shoe size on wicky feet, got it right. And I have never been I always thought crocs your feet we have the same, yes, kind of yours is a little bit bigger. But these crocs, I thought crocs would be like sweaty because they're like I just I'm like, why would you want like your wet, sweaty feet in this like rubbery. But there's something about it that they air your feet out. There's no like
sweat build up. You can wear them in the snow, or you can wear not snow, but you can wear them in the rain. They dry out quickly, you can. They give you a little bit of height because they have a they have about an inch I would say an inch or about half an inch of height. They feel light, they look horrible, and they have little holes in them so you can like put in little medallions. The funny part is, Noah, he got me little um I forget what they're called, a little jewels that you
put in the croc holes. But he got those with it, Yeah, and one he got me MG for each one, one end and one g. And he said when he was at the croc store, the little medallions were like turned over, so the cashier had to turn each of them over
to like reveal what it was. And he was like okay, and end a G a G, and there was the other one which was an end and he was like, what is this going to be like that Wheel of Fortune with yeah he oh, I never saw that where it's nagger, So they didn't know what they were spelling. On the redd wart sub. The other day someone was talking about like, my word is so pussy and it just looks like it's pussy. My ward is. It was like,
look at this word is so pussy. If you say my pussy is pussy, it would bleep the first part because see is okay to say what about my pussy pussy? Did they know which one is to get rid of? Yeah, because it sounds pussy. Huh, ride it down if you just write pussy pussy. Oh yeah, people don't know. You don't know which one to blur or which one to put. Those little like stars and what a crock reminds me of if you were wearing a duck's mouth, that's what That's what I would feel like you would feel on
my feet. So weird you say that because they remind me of those duck boats. A duck boats people die on them in the Ozarks. You know, there's been like horrible accidents on those duck boats, the ones that go like on land and water. There was like a really bad storm and I think it was in the Ozarks and all these people fucking drowned because they all are like people who can't fucking swim, and it was like
it was terrible. But yeah, they remind me of those duck boats because their water and land shoes and they kind of look like a duck smouth duck hat. Back in the day, Donald ducking shoes really Mickey Mouse and the Bill with a bill. That's cool Bill. But god, I used to love those Converse shoes that had um Looney Tunes characters on them for a while. That was like very very in. Um yeah, it was a great gift.
But my name does so when I sometimes it'll like I logged into a website or something and it'll be like reminding me what my log in name is or something, and it'll it stars it out so it literally says and I star star star star star star star e R. So it's just end because my first the first part of my name is nih and then the last blazer. It truly doesn't it looks like I've written something, so terrible. I'll tell you what does want anyone go with that?
You know what I mean? No one would expect you to go that route because your name. Oh wait, I don't want to give away your my sister used to. My sister used to um uh screamed name like she couldn't. You know, when kids say names, it doesn't sound like like last night, um Poppy got a baby doll for a birthday and she was I go, what's this baby doll's name? And she was like Alma and I was like, Elma, like that sounds like. We joked that that was like a name that my sister would name one of her kids.
Were like, god, it just Poppy name your children, because my sister's you know, named her kids Poppy, Harlow and Forest. And we're like, Elma, like that's likely. But she was saying Ella. But we just you know, it just sounded different because the kid was saying it. So my sister when we would she would be screaming my name, it
sounded like she was saying the N word. And my mom would have to be like, you need to annunciat the k um because she would just make the k is geez because it's a softer way for the child to say. And when how long did this last? Yeah? Yesterday. Yeah, this was a conversation my mom had last night with her and said, Lauren, we need to work on the case, Like if she wants to teach in this town, she's start telling you what. It doesn't help that my name has three ks too, so I can't I can't escape.
I mean, you were born to be racist. I was born. There was a subreddit yesterday about um which celebrity name sounds like a porn star? And I was just combing it for my name because my name is well, Nikki is definitely yes, glaze her. That's almost too smart, but you know what I mean, like Nicki, Nicky Rocks or yea there, Nicky Cox, Nicky something more. Uh yours is a little bit highbrow. Yes, but I was looking for
my name. God, I always look for my name on these like like which celebrity is your celebrity crush or something like I'm I'm you know, I'll admit I'll look for my name sometimes because people on Reddit are a little bit more savvy when they know like celebrities that are a little bit more BC list and they think they're cool because of it, you know. And I swear to God the names. Everyone loves the same women, and it's so nauseated. Anna day armis um uh funk, what
are the uh there? There's j La, Like it's all the most basic stuff, and it's like, what would it be like to be one of these women that everyone wants to fuck, that everyone has this crush on. I don't think they take that in. I think I think you can only take in fifty guys wanting to fuck you before it's just like, okay, I get it more than that, but you know what I mean, though many need you or need to want to fuck you. For me, everyone would be nice, every single one truly. Um. Linda Cardelini,
a lot of people like her. Um, she was on Kate Beck and Sale, she was on Jennifer Connolly, that's always one. Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, this is nice. They're all older actresses at this point. Uh yeah, these are the top ones. Oh, Alison Bree always is like Anna day Armist here she is with light eyes, Yeah, with light eyes. Yeah, that's it. The guys are just captivated. Um, Matt Margot, Robbie and Henry cavill is the one every woman says, don't you don't feel he actually looks like
Alex Cope whatever that dude's name. He's just not my number one. Who do you know? Let's go first. Okay, well that's Obama and Taylor Swift. What about actors? That's a good question. Maybe we'll answer it when we get back from the break and I'm over here. Now, come in from the kitchen over the living room. I don't know. We're back. There's not my celebrity crushes. There's no A listers anymore. There's like we saw who was Oh Jacob Ellerty, Oh mama. He's like six six too. He's a tall
man for an actor. He is gorgeous. He's a good looking man. I think it looks kind of weird to me though, Like he's like he's very structured, like almost too structured structure. Yes, he's too handsome, I don't like, very elongated for me. He looks like he has like he's almost like a mascot for a good looking man. Looks like a teenager and he's an old man. Danger. He does seem like his face is like this much of his mouth, eyes, and nose are in the center
and the structure is around. I mean, I know that doesn't make sense. This is what I'm talking about. It's like it's like almost like there's a gravitational pull for his eyes, his nose and his mouth to go to the center, like there's a black hole, like that's being sucked into the drain of his face. But he's still I just love him. I think every time I see a picture of him, go who is that? And it's always jacobell Ardi. He has bed he does really, I mean to me, as a man looking at another man
judging how big his dick is. I think he's a tall guy. He's tall and skinny. He seems to have elongated everything. Why wouldn't it ad belong. There's a CEO of him staring at Lizzo um at the Met Gallery or something like that. I don't know. It was on like the I Heart Instagram and he's giving her these eyes and they're so like tantalizing and it definitely has the b d e Andrews bed bed eyes. Wait, who's yours? Noh,
and Andrew girl, I think I think about guy's ward. No, I think about girls more too, Like Olivia Wilde I think it's just insanely hot market. I've seen her once two on the street. You just go, whoa, whoa what a person that's not a human? I just look at a Miller. I love her. See a lot of these girls. I think guys say that they like them the most
because they're not model tens. There they are there tens, I guess you would say, but there because they think they can find y. I said this on Lady Again yesterday. I was like, you lose followers as a woman. I have follow mail followers on Instagram, and if I post a picture with a guy that might be like he's my boyfriend, I lose followers. And because these guys think I have less of a chance of sucking her, even
though there was never a chance. And I'm not a girl who puts up a kiny photos, so it's like I'm not leading with like you could maybe fuck me someday. But maybe I am because I'm more like approachable or something. But it's just wild to me. Um no, what about you who's um very easy? Uh? Tom? And I'm hardy and in dressed Elba, those are like yes, or I like you dress Alba And he got his start late. I like a nice late start of a hot man,
because you're certainly, yeah, I'm starting I got boots nats. Yeah, I mean you did. Certainly you didn't just stand up comming till to thirty. That's the late start. Yeah. But you're making it. You're making it look good. And I had this hair thing at one point in my twenties where it was just this part. You know, the guys that just have just the chin hair, um just right here. I don't know what that's called, Like, I don't know
the difference chin strap is all the way connected. I don't know what they called whatever this little patch was. That was a phase. Okay, So I'm looking at hottest male celebrities like on Google. That's what I'm just like, height of the average hottest. What do you think? It's probably? Well? These short um wait, who are? Can you say? Yeah?
I honestly like, dude, I don't even think about Margot Robbie and I don't think about it either, So you just gotta come out with Margot Robbie, very very hot, very talented sex she I just watched Tanya for the first time. It's good. Noah, I think you would like it. It's like on I think it's on Hulu, but it's she's so good in it. I feel so bad for
Tanya Harding. I started following her on Instagram just to like support this poor woman that like skating is just such an elitist like white sport that's just for rich kids. It's just grosses me out. And that poor girl like
just really struggled. She had such an abusive mom, abusive boyfriend, like just and who like they they if you don't know Nancy Kerrigan got whacked by her was a setup by her boyfriend and his friend, and she didn't know that it was gonna be that they were gonna send Nancy Kerrigan a like a death threat because Tanya had gotten a death threat and her boyfriend saw how much it threw ton on the ice to get a death threat just from some rando, you know, the kind like
I have gotten in my life that throw you. So they were just going to do a death threat and then all of a sudden, one of these goons takes it upon himself to go, no, we're gonna go We're gonna hit her with a crowbar and the knee. It's like and Antanya didn't even know it was related to them or anything. I mean, it was one of the dumbest criminal movie Reynolds seen him millions of times. Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively gorgeous worked out next to both of them. Yeah,
you did. When I was a dog walker, I got access to the just smiling at each other and like laughing the whole time. Their relationships seems so healthy. They had a trainer, the red carpet. They seemed very like professional in whatever they do. Like everything seems orchestrated. I just saw a picture of nice but like also like they're the most famous couple ever, so they're very carpet like gazing at each other with bringing each other's ear.
It's like it's all performative, y'all. Like there, don't compare your relationship to them. You would be doing the same thing if you had publicist saying like, you guys need to look like a healthy marriage. I'm not saying they don't have a healthy marriage. It's all fake though. Well, and they're looking at me weird because they probably see me as the dog walker who's in the million million dollars he's using of access to the gym. Well, you're
practicing walking. Yeah, it was on the treadmill. Yeah, doing squats to pick up dogship practice your style. Eventually they took the card back from me. Uh, the owners, Yeah, they were like, no, have Carblange. And then they're like, I think Ryan Reynolds hates you. Um, yeah, he's gorgeous, but I just thought this picture gorgeous. Yeah, I just read too much about him, not the nice stuff that I'm just like, none of almost walked his dog. Remember
I had the interview with his assistant. Yeah, like an hour long interview, and they told me that Yeah, where were the what were they ask you? It was in a secret room about forty ft underground one of the subway. Yeah, the dog was there wearing glasses going what do you what do you see in my ship? I don't know, man, yeah, doc, no,
no there. I met with the assistant, who was very professional about this, like, you know, I get it, like you can't have random dudes in Jake Jillen Hall's house and she probably saw that I'd probably smell his underwear or something that you're a comedian and like, oh, you might talk about this or something, which I'm doing. So they told me the one thing that was the funniest part of the interview is she said that, uh, Jake's dog likes to um walk around Soho and loves the
shops for three hours. And I go, I don't, I don't know if this is you know, I've never gone in product. I'm not gonna it's waiting for that dog because they know that its owner is has a lot of money to spend a good celebrity. So they're like, we love this dog. And then the dog learns to love going in shops. And it was one of those dogs that it was a German shepherd where they're like, also, he might bite you if you don't. Yeah, bulberry blueberry whatever,
what's that one? Bulberry barberry blueberry blueberry. I mean, the dogs seemed cool. It would have been a cool thing for a week, and then I would be like over it. I would suck. I guarantee you would suck. Also, I would never meet him. Like in your mind, you're like, oh, he's gonna take me in. We're gonna have fucking he's going to see together that I am, and he's gonna be like, you would be great in my new movie. I'm like, stop, Jake, I can I'm just your dog walker.
Honestly though, That's what happened with you walking my dogs pretty much pretty much. You got spot, you got like, you know, discovered. Yeah, I got discovered like a like a young model and a mall by walking a dog with no legs. Um. Yes, I was going to say karma though for me walking that dog with wheels, Like yeah, I think that's why. Well, it's not like you were doing it out the goodness of your heart. You were
getting paid. No, that was a free he wasn't have you ever volunteered, never was gonna say just to take up your bags. That weighs on a man, it does. Sorry. I saw this paparazzi photo of Justin timber Lake and Jessica Biel keeps saying actors that lived in this building. It's so weird. It is weird, but everyone lives in that building. The most famous the Weekend Hamilton's your Boys.
Yeahs anyway, sorry and so and so. There was very gratis of them in like a vacation and they're like gazing at each other and like he has his arms around her and they do not know they're being photographed, and they're like kissing and I just like, I don't know what it is. I just don't think people who are married like have that kind of love for each other. I just I just I'm shocked to see it when I'm like, these two look like they just met, Like
I just think that that goes away. There's there's maybe because they're on vacation, like his hands are on her butt, maybe he's a little drunk. Like I just feel like that kind of affection recently. Yeah, and I'm like they've been married so long, they have kids together, Like I just just call me jaded, call me like, I'm sure
I'm gonna like a lot of jed. I just feel like when you get married to someone and after you've been with them a long time, it takes like a setting like that and to make you like lovey dovey Hawaii or something. You know, what makes you think they didn't because the photo is so grainy, it's like barely you can barely make them out, and they might have been doing it for the people around them or they actually I just realized looking at the photo, like, what's
wrong with me that I think? Like, I'm shocked to see a couple that's been together over ten years looking happy together or just like like being horned up for each other, almost like they it's a photo that you'd go, oh, he's cheating on her with this girl. Whoever this is because his hands are all over It's just the kind of stuff that you only see the beginning of a relationship. Is that me? I'm not wrong though, I feel like
that doesn't that. I know that there are couples that are all over each other, but it's rare and it always has to be like a vacation that brings it out of you. Alcohol and anniversary, both of you being extremely horny, like it's not normal. Tory's display affection for each other. Um, my dad tries to get it and my mom goes, get off of me. J come on. My mom does not like pawing or any kissing. No, no making out. She will not make out with my dad. I told my mom, your parents got divorced in it's
thirteen years of not kissing. Well, my parents barely. My mom's always just like God, can't be honest. I saw my dad kiss my step mom. I'm I'm good. I'm glad you never kissed my mom. Yeah, like tongue. My dad has a very wet, sa RF gross. Where were they drunk? Maybe when I was getting my license? I forget exactly where. Yeah, they were at the DMV behind the counter. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah it was hardly hard kissing. It's a lot. And then yeah, actually yeah.
I talked to my dad and he was like or like my mom was like I think it was on some show I did or something. I forget why I was asking my mom this, but I was like, oh, it was when we were doing interviews for the reality show. And I was like, um, do you and dad ever make out? And she was just like Noah, god, god, no, your dad always wants to. I don't like tongue kissing scross No. And I go, but does he want to? And she's like yes, and I go, sometimes you gotta
do what the other person wants. And I talked to her later and I said, Mom, honestly, if you don't tongue kiss Dad, I would not blame him for going to find someone else to tongue kiss, because that is something that is important. Like, and I even told my dad later on. I was like, I told mom that if you don't start tongue kissing Dad, and like just being just like kissing him, being a being that agent over there. I just sad that my dad wants to
have affection with my mom. And she's like, oh, that's gross. It's like you give I don't. I don't give oral sex to people because I like it as much as it's because I like it because it gives pleasure to someone else. Like what's wrong with my mom that she can't get pleasure out of giving something to someone that would make them happy. It probably goes right to her parents. I'm sure her parents. She's never seen once. The older generation didn't make out hard and pub like or p
d A. I mean, I don't make out ever. Like do you ever just make out with Brenna and it doesn't lead to sex? You just make out and that's it all you do? Really? I mean we have We were very like like we were. I worked out with her yesterday she was wed. I like grabbed her I don't know, I just wanted to grab her butt and like, I don't know, I'm just like really in there, yes, so yeah, I could see. So you just make out for like an hour or like fifteen minutes and it
does not lead to sex. Yeah, we did that. We don't do it a ton, but it's happened. What's the circumstance where that was just in bed and neither We're both lazy enough to not want to have sex, but not lazy enough to want to be close to each other when you just make out like just killing of God, I've never done that. I have never once made out without it leading to sex. No, uh, well, it depends on the relationship, but my current one it always leads to sex. But I do for just making out purposes.
Sometimes I get the giggles when we make out and like, and I know that's not sexy to get the giggles, but making it's funny to me sometimes, like whatever she's doing with her tongue, like if she goes like too hard, or like it's funny. It's a funny thing. Like our
tongues are ridiculous. I just think it's so weird that people are like, oh my god, don't drink out of my drink and then they're like, yeah, it's like I just I think people are such hypocrites when it comes to germs, and they'll like sunk each other's face and have lick on each other's tongues. But they're like, oh my god, please don't eat off my plate. Gross you
touched it. Um, yeah, I think that's There are times I will say there are times almost every single time we do the thing of I've done a thing of No, we just want to like nothing's happening. We're just like cuddling, like we're both too tired. It's never once stopped there, never once. And sometimes I go, you're too tired. I'm not letting you do this because I know that you are about to get into a hard cardio workout. Whereas I do nothing, it's easy for me. I don't do anything.
I never do anything. I mean I do stop like, don't. Let's be honest with ourselves. Everyone is satisfied. But um, I'm sometimes like, no, you're too tired. You need a break, And when's the last time you got on top? Are we talking in ten years? The way you're looking, I stop, I'm not lying years. I just don't do it up there, Nick, No, I don't want to. It's just there's no girl. No. If I needed to, I would, but he doesn't want that.
And I'm not speaking for him, but I'm just saying I have I can sense what we are What if he wanted you to get Yeah, I'm just it's not required of me. Like and when I having sex, I like to be submissive and a girl on top being in control riding someone, I'm I want to be the horse. I'm not the cowgirl. What if you're just up there and he can still No, you're in control. It's a dominance thing. Anyone who's elevated over someone is usually the
dominance on top. But now what am I? Where am I going to use to Yeah, you're just submissive, but while being on I bet there's ways to be submissive while above someone. I've been. I'm on top in terms of like, sometimes other things happen and I'm like I am I'm an active participant in doing things. But if there's generally I would never just I don't like riding someone. I just don't like it. It doesn't feel good to me.
And it's just like it causes too much presure in order for me to not just like sit and just like squish where like to go up and down, you need to do so much legwork. It's really exhausting. I don't like it. I don't like it. I like I like, you're just like that, and I respect. I know for a fact that the person I engage in this way is not yearning for something else. Like we're both very satisfied.
I like, there's no there's nothing that we are missing out on or not doing because I'm lazy or something. It has nothing to say that. It's born of the fact that like the dynamic of you know, when you know your partner, you know what gets them off? Do you go to your strong suit. There's no need to a different relationship. I would explore other things, but for what we both like, like, it's just are it's us. Uh, yeah, it works. All right, Let's go to the news barely
you're having all the swells out there. That's fantastic. It's Wednesday. You know what that means. It is Wednesday. It's hump day, folks. Get out there and hump um. All right, you know, I think takeaway to all right, Well, this weekend you're going to be at the Kirby Center for Performing Arts in Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania. On Friday, Saturday you'll be at the Keswick Theater in Glenside, Pennsylvania. And on Sunday you'll be at the Welmont Theater in Montclair, New Jersey, Sunday, Yes,
weekend long. Yeah, my life never stops. And it's so funny. The woman I'm writing a book with, or who's helping me write a book, is like, hey, checking in, do you want to write this book again? And I'm like, yes, you know, my presence is dying down, I can start it again. And I go, why don't I ever get a week where there's nothing. Why does a week where I have nothing finally have to get filled in by
something like it? No, it does because there's because there's always something in line waiting and on the queue, and it has to get filled in because I've put it off so long, so like, but there's no people don't even there's no even no, there's no one is looking out for me except me, And I have to remember that that I have to like make time for myself because otherwise I'll get time will get taken from me because it's no one's gonna be like, hey, I think
I'm just gonna let you have this break. The only way to learn that is to take a break and realize that the yes, the world's gonna keep going. Yes, you might miss out on maybe another fifty reaches or whatever. But you're gonna realize you'll be fine if you take a week off. But that the only way to learn that is by going to Hawaii and cuddling in the world.
I need to get stuff done, though, I have deadlines and so that that I've put off because of other stuff, and it just always I just looked at my schedule today and I just go how funny that I'm like, next week is my first week where I don't have eight podcasts today promoting this show. And there's no part of me that goes, oh, I might just like fucking do nothing. It's like I have to is the next thing. And I know it's all my own fault, but it's
like it just never ends. I just don't see any end in sight, and it's us really exhausting to your mom a better house, so it's all worth it in the end. It seems exhausting too, just like looking at the houses and signs, and well that segues into my first story really well because scientists scientists say that they
have nailed down the ideal amount of sleep um. The new research found that around seven hours of sleep is the ideal night's rest, with insufficient or excessive sleep being associated with a reduced ability to pay attention, remember and learn new things, solve problems, and make decisions with too much sleep or not enough. Too much or not enough sleep both caused those things. That seven hours straight, it has to be straight. Uh, I've never I don't know
last time I got that. How long are your breaks? I'm usually I'm a three hour man? And then how long is the break on your phone? A lot of times go I'll go over the tou old well andrew. Other research found that older adults who have significant difficulty falling asleep and who experienced frequent night awakenings are at high risk for developing dementia or dying early from any cause. It's funny about this, Noah psycho. Yeah, funny you should
say that you're gonna die. I've never seen Noah laugh, Desard. My dad looks like Anthony Bordain is not the only one buried in that outfit. No, he's gone, you guys, he's gone sleeping. Fear to six is what is that? Eleven six? Are you gonna getting? Are you know you're not getting that? I just recently I wasn't, but oh yeah, I get I get that on on the reg Like last night, I went to bed probably at one, and I woke up today at nine, so I got eight ninety,
so I got eight forty. How are you feeling? I wanted to sleep so much more it wasn't enough. I'm so tired still, Like I'm back on this well, I'm back in this phase of like there was a while there that I was just never tired because I was so tired. And now I'm like my general stasis is never wanting to get up ever, just wanting to keep sleeping forever. I never wake up being like time to start the day. It is always like even though I used to be like an hours, seven hours, eleven hours,
still want more, more and more and more. I've been getting that easier lately. Yeah, I think the post COVID world, I have a second lease on life. You were always getting for the past. Like even when we were in Cambo for Perfect Strangers to you were up every morning at like seven. So is that the he though, should you set an alarm for seven hours? Like? Probably? Yeah, based on what were kids we wake up before. We wanted to wake up so much, you know what I mean?
Every single day for school. Yeah, it's like, but isn't that period for work? I guess so, yeah, we're lucky in that obviously in that, but we actually we start working at eleven, but for some reason it is still feels early to like before ten feels so yeah, we're going to bed at fucking You know a lot of people make fun of a guy that wakes up it for a like the Mark Wahlberg's But you're going to
bed five PM? Yes, I don't know how people do that, Like people go to late dinners, people go like if there's there's good things on TV late, Like I just my day doesn't stop until six, and I don't want to go to bed in three hours. I want to go to bed and I want to day after that. Yeah, you see these TikTok's. It's like I wake up, I put fucking fresh water and I'm a camel's dick on my face. Then I fucking scrub my skin for an hour and a half. Then I read the newspaper, then
I carve a cantaloupe. Then I fucking work out for two hours and it's still fuckingm and it's like, fuck you. But one of those people to get a bunch done in the morning work out you do, like a meditation. I gotta get back in the meditating. But the whim Hoff method, I'm like looking into that breathing cold breathing, yeah, cold owers, breathing things. But I just it's such a daunting um world to get into that. It seems like
I just there's too much research. There's all these different methods, and I just feel like I don't want to do any of it. It's like when I go to look for a new book to buy, there's too many books, and do I choose nothing. I just want to know what breathing thing to do. The colchower too. If I was living in Florida, it makes sense to me, but I can't go. It's you're overheated, go take a coulch that. I know that, I know that, but I'm just uncomfortable.
When I lived in Brooklyn and there was like like there's no heat in the bathroom, so it's like I'm I'm getting the cold. I don't have to go cold cold. Now it's different, I know, but I'm just saying it's harder. Like cold cold is hard, like you're taking a hot shower to finally get away from cold, So now I need more cold. My bedroom is sixty degrees every single I'm it's the best. Yeah, well, I mean sleeping cold is the best way to do it because that's what
we used to do. What animals are human animals are meant to be, like sleeping in caves. Yeah, it's good for your body being. I just don't understand people who can sleep with in flannel pajamas. Like, I've never felt more disconnected from human beings than people who sleep hot. I can't sleep with well, I sit with a T shirt on, but other than that, naked. You don't want that, like Plato body touching you. Honestly, there's a thing where I feel like I hate like my wet I don't
feel like feeling in my hips. It's too wet down there, and I need underwear to like absorb sweat, just leak it Like I hate being underwarless and bad. Hate it like a running car that just has that like weird leakage in the back down there, and you go, I don't know what that is? Is that water? Is that wiper fluid? Is my car horny? Um? Yeah? I just I can't understand. And you've got a lot of like stuff down there, just like flopping around. Don't you want
to keep it tucked? Don't you want to keep it tight when you're rolling around in bed? I mean, there's definitely a reason why I think Brennan like the clean to sheets. More penis is leaking and just like weeping all over the sheets like Cadillac. My dick is like it just leaks, boy, And I'm sure it's my thyroid or something. I don't know. Someone wrote me something about my leaky cock. You have a leaky cock? No, I don't.
Is it pussy? No? No, No, I just mean I think the older you get, the more you gotta pat your penis after you pee. Know what do you wear underwear when you sleep? My favorite way to sleep is totally naked, but with a bunch of blankets on me. But don't you feel like your vagina gets like like just there's just like, you know, more moisture down there, and like I just hate getting it all my sheets and I have to clean my sheets. That's basically what
I'm preventing. Um, it does happen, but it doesn't bother me. And then your sheets are your underwear. If you're not wearing underwear. Whatever you're on becomes your underwear, and you would never wear your underwear two days in a row unless you're Andrew Colin, but like, no one would ever. Hey, I have a lot of clean clothes. Now, That's why I don't understand gene get When girls wear no underwear,
how do you can wear those two days? Your jeans are your pussy then, like, because if it's in my own like it, if it's in my underwear, that means that at no point during the day didn't have time to breathe. You need to air it out, and sleeping at night it's time to air the baby out. But it's not being aired out because it's like under a bunch of heavy blankets. My mind, it does make sense in your mind. Do your vagina is always engulf I never air out my like, there's no time where I'm
spread eagle. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The only way to air out of vagina is so you really got to air it out. You can't. It's always stuck in there your vagina. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, I mean balls you have to air out because you like it doesn't mildew it does, I guess it does. Yeah, that's what people get easy, just picturing people from e like this is the first. Oh my god, sorry, welcome to the show.
Why do I care? Why do I care? Okay? Ireland Baldwin says an ex wanted to fuck her mom Kim Basinger. The revelation part of a TikTok trend in which people respond to the question what is the one thing your X said to you that you will never forget? Um, that's a that's a good one. I could see that. But why would they say that to her? Uh? To hurt her? Yeah, to make her feel less? You're right, yes, she said that. Yeah. Yeah. The full comment was You'll
never be as beautiful as your mom. I've always wanted to suck her and I'm just not really attracted to you like that. Oh my god? Why would you be your boyfriend? Then? Mean, people are the worst. What's the worst thing that a person's ever said to you that you're dating? I don't that I'm crazy, nothing that I can really remember that you're crazy? Being called crazy is like the worst that they want to suck my hot
dad and make out. It's so funny to think of of, Like because Kim Baije's like when the hot doest people have so obviously the country wanting to suck her, You're the odds are someone's gonna want to suck your mom if you're dating a guy, yeah, if you're but if it's specific to someone that's just a doctor, just your mom who chopped a good will, that feels a little
bit more hurtful. When people think my mom is beautiful, I'm always like yes, because that shows that they are like into older women and I'm going to age and they'll like me still then, you know, and so I like it. You know, bet are generally that I've dated, have have you know, said the opposite, which I know is to be true, is that my sister is prettier than me. They're always like, I'm more into you. It's like, and thank God for it, because most people are into
my sister more than me. Like you're different looking than your sister. I know. So there are guys that are more into like blondes, like just like you know, raspy blondes, and like you know, um, your sister Jennifer Connelly and you're Margot Robbie. Well okay, thank you. I'm saying like in the guy's mind of like yes, like the different coloring. Yes, yes, my sisters like milky skin. I have like orange spray
tan speckled skin. Um. Like my older brother he would do so much better with women than me because he had confidence, and he he has a good he has better teeth than he has all his teeth, and he's rich, but like he's very he's so he's so good with women to the point where and I would be the better looking brother, but it wouldn't even be close when there was a group of girls, like when we were in Europe or whatever. Like confidence is every like is
everything with men. I'm just in the corner like a lot of men like feel like, oh I'm not attractive, What am I gonna do? And it's like confident confidence, But where does it come from? It's gotta be real. Actually doesn't even have to be really. You can figure out how to just fake it. You just you just do things that are egregiously awful, and then you practice being confident about them. And so when people go why
are you wearing that? You go because I like it, And then everyone just goes, oh, I guess he's confident. I mean, that's why stand up committy and get laid so much. It's like fake confidence when really they're deeply insecure. But it's like comes off when people are like, Nikki, you're so confident. I'm always just like that doesn't resonate with me at all. It's so bizarre. The worst thing a guy ever said to me, though, But you will ever love you, just as a joke goes, oh, no
one's ever going to love you. And I started sobbing, like like a downpour like that you know where you go. Oh my god, there's no sign of rain and all of a sudden boom, and he was saying and he freaked out because he was like, wait, what's going on? I was just joking, and I was like, that was the meanest thing, like because it just confirmed what I like thought and ready to go for years, you know
what I mean. All it took was one little It's like a damn that breaks, yes, but the water has been on it the whole time and you have no idea. It's like birds chirping, like peaceful, serene, like just like a gentle stream. And then I've had those moments where it's just like something just brings it on out of nowhere.
I've been holding it. But he was only saying it because he was trying to hurt me, because he he was saying it jokingly to protect him, to be like, I was just joking, But he was saying it not because he meant it, but because he knew that we he could never have me and he's not good enough for me, and he had to say it so that it could protect him. I know that it's very transparent, but yeah, I mean he could love my mom though, and he thinks that she's very lovable. Let's get to
our Wednesday segment. We usually do a game called Finish My Sentence, in which Andrew and I try to complete each other's sentences to try to guess how we would answer it. Today we are doing um a uh, we're doing Finish my Sentence, but it's now going to be finished.
My Uber eats order. Uber Eats, of course, is an app that I use all the freaking time on the road and at home to get anything like not literally anything, but you can get grocery items, um, and you can get convenience store items like anything that you need that you go, oh my god, we're out of dog food. Oh my god. We're out of toothpaste. Boom. Uber Eats you can pull up and you can see that they're not just restaurants anymore, which is what a lot of
people think about Uber Eats. So Andrew and I placed Uber eats orders this morning and got in like ten minutes, yes immediately, So they're here, and we tried to order what he just has everything hoarded. It was so fast and it's all a bunch of stuff that like, you just don't think you could get that fast. I ordered grocery items for Andrew, Andrew ordered convenience store items for me. So we're going to finish each other's Uber eats order.
And as always, um, you can use the uber eats app as well, um today today even yeah right now, you gonna get anything you want, anything that you're thinking listen again, yeah stop it right now. Well Uber eats downloaded. At least download the app so that when you want it, it's ready to go, because I hate when I like have to download a new app and then you have to wait for to connect to WiFi and that little
thing is yes, it's just a big thing. Download it so that when it's so nice to pull up the app, when someone's like, I need this thing, and you go ordered it already, like and they go, wait what and they're still like searching for like how to get it and where the nearest Walgreens is or wherever, and you're just like, it's gonna be here that the other day. Yeah. Times people do that. Okay, So who's going to go first? Um? I will go first. Okay. So this is what I
would get at it at a grocery store. I got you something that you put in an oven that is made from cauliflower, because you you think that anything cauliflower is as healthy. Yes, because you're a boy who doesn't probably nutrition facts with mayonnaise. Yes, it's very healthy. I also got you something that is also you cook you can put in an oven, but most likely a microwave
that has the word cauliflower in it. Again, that is probably not that healthy, but because as cauliflower in it, you'll go, oh, it must be like a diet food. My mouth is my dad's mouth right now, I'm water. I got you, Oh these things that I love so much that are a dessert that have protein in them and also are creamy and chocolate e and are like a frozen dessert that are a hundred calories each because
again protein cream. Yes you don't know if it's ice cream, but yes, it is an ice cream creaming as protein in it. And it also Um, it's like, you know, a hundred calories per which you'll eat the entire box in one sitting. I know that because I'm the same way. It convinces yourself that you're being healthy. Um, I got you something for mango. Um, yes, I got you some little tree some cauliflower treats for mango. Now, I got
you some candy that is low and sugar that I love. Like, I got you all like diety things, like not diety things, but like healthy things, not diety with fake stuff in it. I did get you. This is funny because is um, whenever when when you guys were living together, you were always concerned that Andrew doesn't have enough snacks or food. So I feel like this is you never does fulfilling
that from the past. It is these are all things that I would have bought him when I know that he has no food at home, and he'll he'll come out of his room really leary eyed and be like, do you want to get tie food? And I'll go and they closed it eight there's nothing they get. And then he'll just start looking in the cabinets and he'll pick out all is in there is like old food from our green rooms that I've kept over the days,
and then he just um. Then he'll just start eating some weird thing that we have on hand, Like one time, like our building gave us like a Christmas present of like chocolates, So he'll start eating these like bags of chocolates that because it's all he has. Do you do that a lot at your own home? Does brendan to keep you guys pretty stacked? And I like fifteen meals ready to go? Okay, Well that makes I've been um okay. And then I have this candy that we talked about recently.
You got way more money than me. I spent fifty. Then I got this candy that we talked about recently that is probably trains women to be good at giving head. Oh you eat it and then there's like there's it's a solid and a liquid fuit snet that gushes in your mouth. Yes, yes, yes, um. I also got you your favorite drink that that one guy drinks that you just think it's gonna like your calories. Yeah, of course
people are addicted to this stuff. It's this energy drink that Andrew saw one guy be like, this is why I'm jacked. It's not because he spends eighteen because yeah, cauliflower. And then I also got you a morning recovery shot because you drink now, and could I drink now? Yeah, I've had one drink in three weeks. People who are twenty one and older can get alcohol on the movie it's up to Yes, I almost got you alcohol, but I don't want to encourage that. But I did get
you a recovery shot from the morning. Um, you'll see, I'm excited. Actually, no, you take it in the night. You take it in the night, and then in the morning it makes you feel better, So you take it at night with your drinking, and then in the morning you're very hydrated and and not just hungover. And I probably don't think it works so well. But food is you got way more than me. I apologize because I'm just good at like looking at prices and making like
you could have done the same thing. But I bet you were just like lazier about it. Okay, thank you to make your order. How long did it take you to make your order three days? Not true? No one, No one knows how long did it take Andrew to give you what he was going to get? Boys are so funny. They don't look at pieces added stuff to the shopping cart. That's what he yes, and he didn't. But why didn't you? But you look at the total in no, it was clear like not over fifty dollars.
So why didn't you follow the rules? Because your boys a fucking badass that wears boots. You don't give a funk that he went four dollars, but he didn't think I didn't go to like huh, I didn't go to like ninety. I went to fifty seven, all right. I thought I would make up the seven dollars and I throw it back to the old imant. It's what you probably that was a lot of stuff for fifty dollars
that I got a lot. I didn't mind you. I'm way under fifty dollars because one of the things, one of my put one of these in the I want to put this ice cream in the freezer because I don't want it to freeze, Okay. And that's the best thing about Uber Eats is that you can get ice cream and it is still intact. It doesn't melt. Ice cream bars melt. Then they get all like like, what would I get? So I went to a convenience store. I didn't get to go to grocery convenience to a pharmacy. Yeah,
like items that would you know, populate my bathroom? Yeah, or I don't think you have them, but it would be nice to have them. I thought. I thought of things of like what would you want? A convenient story that maybe you'd forget to get, or something that's like needed, things that I don't actually want or need, but that you think I need. Maybe maybe well maybe you do need interested I got you stuff that allow your eyes to not be read? Wait, why would it I need that?
I dropped? Sometimes? Could you wear contacts? Okay? So sometimes you might be tired, you're overworked? You just you really took it literally? I think you really phone This is why. Well I would have if I were you, I would have gotten me bunyan pads or something funny like that. I would have gotten me word remover. I would have gotten me um you know, just like funny funny stuff. Okay, but yes, I do like would I used to smoke pot. I used to love eye drops. Now I don't struggle
with that as much, but I appreciate it. Okay, you sound appreciate. Yeah, I really am. Okay, I got your bandage, yet I just feel unseen bandages. Yes, I do need bandages because I'm always picking up my nails. That's a good one. Are they a bandaged like small bandages? They're good for your nails. Well, these happen to be extra large. Okay, so that's not for my fingers. Idea being that you can put all your fingers in one. Okay. Honestly I didn't see the extra large, but that was my thinking.
Is you pick your nails a lot, maybe you forget, like, oh my god, I need I picked up a band aid off the ground in a bathroom the other day because I saw that someone had dropped a band aid that was unused, and I picked it up and put it in my purse because I always need bandages. I'm always digging up my nailse who's talking now, it's good, it's a good purchase. This one is for your sinuses. It's a pot for your sinuses to clear them. I think I needed that in my life. You've used it before,
a nutty pot. Yeah, you have used this at your left No is the thing that you put over your whole face and it creates like a steamer. And also Nettie's kind of fun done a good thing to water plants with. It's fucking wild to do it. I know it is wild and it looks like a dick. But you can't. I'm too lazy to use it because you have to boil the water beforehand so you don't get a bacteria in your nose that like eats your face,
you know, like people have died from that. Really well, that's well, that's kind of like I think Western medicine has tried to scare people from using these Eastern medicine techniques, and so they want you to go to the doctor and use their meds. So they spread these like propaganda of like this woman died from using tap wires. You gotta boil it first, and I'm a lazy bitch, But that will come in handy. So the idea, granted, I only got you three things, that's it. Like I said,
I got you four. It was not available. What was the one thing that wasn't available? It was a menstrual heating pad. That would have been nice. And so can you take back all the mean things you said that you don't feel seen? I mean, come on, well, that's the point of this segment is like, can we see each other? And I felt unseen? Path No, you like thees and then be out of it. But you're you're
not wrong, but very small heating pad. Maybe I'll have from my sleep my idea, my thinking honestly behind this. Granted it was quick, Quick doesn't always mean worse. What were you doing while you were doing this? Shopping for myself? No? No, no, you were you like watching? Were you golfing or you on the golf? Of course I was laying down on the couch. I was watching Winning Time on HBO, and I thought, you know what, I thought? This was my
thought process. I wasn't thinking funny. I was thinking, what are things that like for me? If someone went to convenience store for me, the nicest thing ever would be things that like I could keep reusing. I would forget we're in in the house, kind of like you with me with snacks. I forget snacks, You forget bandages the same idea. Yes, you're always bleeding from and I'm bleeding from my stomach with all the traps. I think we're just a thing. That you were just like okay, the
eye drops was was me thinking? Like said she was tired. He's not wrong about that. Your eyes get red from from from your contacts. Now, I'm just feeling insulted. You bleed from everywhere, lady. Yeah, I got Well, Um, this was a success. I am glad I got that. I'm gonna probably give you that any part because I just don't I does don't think I'm gonna use it, but um, I'm going to regift that to you. But I am so shocked that we could get all this stuff so quickly,
within like minutes. And you can too if you use the uber eats app today. Go out there, get that Uber eats. Final thoughts, um, what are you up to today today? I have a workout class. I'm getting a facial night diamond glow. What workout class? I have a new thing I'm going to what is it? What did you call media impulsive? You a new one? What's called you just say? Fuck Trump? No? Uh uh? F forty five is an Australian workout class. It's it's very cheesy.
It's very compy calories. I don't really functions functional, that's the what the F stands for. So what do you do during it? It's it's it does everything for you. You're just a computer. You're like, come in here, here's fifteen different workouts. They put it on the screen. You don't even have to think, and you're done in forty minutes, in and out. Yes, it's a little like cult cross It's like if cross fit was more relatable. How did
you find out about it? My little brother does it, and so yeah, I went with Branna yesterday and she did not like it at first. Why because it's hard, it's just very like and she just wants to do her thing. Oh god, I hate that celebration like you could do it for Rachel finds in as a great bit about spin classes. Why why do you hate it so bad? Because I don't mind it because it's exhausting to cheer and be like excited, like I just want to suffer alone. I don't want to share, and I
don't want to act like this is exciting to me. Yes, it sucks that you have to match the guy's energy.
I'm sorry. I just have never seen people in those classes who I want to look like they all like the they all just look like they're always running up at the last second because they're late for the class, and then they like leave afterwards, and I know they just go and they eat so much, just like Kim Kardashian, like there's always if you do too much, there's always gonna be the negative, and you'll never blame your workout
class and like you always blame yourself. You're like, I'm weak, But the problem is, these fucking workout classes are just not here's the thing with this workouts. I agree with you, I'm projecting a lot because I can't handle myself in those. Yeah, I don't think you'd want to be around this many people. It's very bright in there, Like it's just it's it's cheesy, but it's not. It's feel good afterwards, you feel good and it's not so deplete. I don't feel deplete. Sometimes
workouts will make you feel more depleted. Yes, this is not one of those, so I don't mean to shit on it, but I just like, and I don't want to get jacked anymore. I just want to be able to get on the floor. You want to be able to like stretch and like be yoga something gentle. Why does that have to be punishing because yoga, that's what I wonder, more punishing than me. Takes classes to punish themselves. Yoga.
It's more punishing than me than these classes. Because I'm and I know this is why I should do yoga. I'm so tight in my hip and my lower back and all that ship with yoga is perfect for It's a goddamn disaster for me to do it. It's very hard, and I try. I've leaned into it. It hurts. I get bored. I have a d D. I just want to run around a little bit like a I can't understand. Again, I don't relate to people that do these classes. I know people love them. I am in the minority, and
I'm like some people have a very healthy relationship. Yeah, I've done, but I went. I went with you and a meal to that bootcamp class in Nashville. Remember that I've done. I've done spin classes, I've done I've done every one of the yoga lass. I've walked out of a yoga class because I was just like, this is I'm sweating too much, I'm slipping all over the mat I hate this and I walked out. Um. For me, it's I get too competitive and I feel like a
loser because I'm not as good as everyone else. I feel like I just I hate the chipper instructor who's making everything looks so easy, and I get jealous of her because I go, oh, she's done seven them these today. I'm never going to be as good as her. I'm not as healthy as her. Like there's always there's too much comparison for me, I just can't do it because I'm too wrapped up in like I'm not as good as other people, and it's a constant comparison. I've gotten
to the point in my life that's healthy. I don't. I don't give a funk about any of that ship anymore. I would. I used to, for sure. I used to be the most competitive person. It's not like I accept defeat and I'm just like whatever, I suck at this. It's like I'm pretty good. Yeah, I don't need to be the best at this. I don't want to be able to. I agree with you, Nikki. I used to think the same thing, like, oh, this is so punishing. But for the people who show up on a regular
basis to these classes. They kind of become your support system and teammates to try to help you get through the class, depending on, of course, on what it is. There is something about that like a group, like we are supposed to work in groups, Like I was always someone who had never liked group projects because I knew that I would probably be doing most of the work, or the smart girl would make me like, I don't like that's a that's an issue with me, like that
I have to resolve. But I just basketball, Yeah, I don't like aspects. I just want to get it on myself and if or I just rather not do it, Like I don't like doing things I'm not good at and and I look at exercises not like at least now, I don't look at it something that like I gotta get this done. It's like I want to go and any kind of scheduled class is not going to fit with my desire to work out. It's always going to seem like a chore and it's always going to seem
like work, and to me, it's the opposite. I'm gonna take the work out of working out, but that's what that does for me. I'm just like, oh, just show up. Yeah, I don't have to think it gives you a schedule. You'll think, yeah, yeah, and it's and it's nice to have something else in my life that I don't have to be the best at it. But it's nice to see improvement. And I know that I'm not. It's not vain.
I'm not really doing this. To be sure, I'll look into two months out of you staying in my green room to check out your own body in the mirror. I was going to say that, I was going to say. I said, I still will check out my abs in the mirror if there's great lighting every once in a while. But mostly it's it's about now as opposed to it is probably but your boys. You know I wear boots now, me and Mark Marin, we're the same person. All right, Well we have a show tomorrow for you, so um
check it out. Then this is all for the show today. Um, Andrew have a good day. Noah, have a great day. I hope our listeners do. Are you okay? Staring despondently, Oh no, I'm just thinking about my workout, classic out there and muscles, I like it. Not believed yet