#210 Get On The Floor

have two cameras. There's one beneath your desk, an upskirt. Yeah, Noah, before I said, I like the new positioning of the camera. I can see your whole I can see their whole bodies. I felt. We didn't feel good about that. I feel like a deceased body in a river. Yeah, it's so funny. We were We followed this guy on Instagram, me and Brenna and uh, he keeps claiming that he's living that lake life, but he lives on It's like an old

friend of like like an acquaintance. And we've been following this guy's journey of him living the lake life, but he lives on a retention, Like it's not a lake it's not you know where he is, or she just knows where he's from. We know where he is because he puts his location because he's bragging about his lake life. And it's it's not that he doesn't it's just because

he doesn't know. He's not trying to be cool. He just doesn't know it's not a lake because why would he tag it if he was trying to claim it was a lake life. Well, I think he's trying to be cool, but I think he doesn't realize how uncool. Yeah, then that's okay, I know, I know that's you know, like you don't hate it. It's cute. But like he's like he's got a paddle board. He put his dog on the boat, like by himself, as he have friends. So he got his parents also a house on that

lake life. Oh, he bought his parents a house. The guy's coming up. But the best like the battle boards longer than the lake. Like like it's not like just call it what it is. So it's like a giant like a puddle that just got out of hands. What is it? Yeah, it's like, so you build a aqueduct, when you build a community, you have to melt, you have to deta alpha gamma watery. There's not there's probably

not a fish in this thing. I would argue, catch anything he's catching raised on that lake life like a lake country, And I think it is cute. It is cute, but it is funny to like, it's just funny to see someone brag. It's refreshing in a way. Not the lake because it's not a lake, but it's refreshing to see someone brag about something that's like so wholesome and not like you know, a Porsche or whatever. He's just he's, yeah,

he's carved out little space for himself. Yeah, and yeah it's fun to follow and you and he's not even like it's not like he is putting this thing out there that he knows his ship. And then after he takes a picture, he's like, let's just leave, like he's actually enjoying it. Yeah. I guess it's one man's lake, I guess. But reminds me of when I had some cousins from down south that when we were kids, christian Um Catholic, they're like Arkansas rich. I think the whole

body over there again, right, dude. But they came when we were kids. We like, you know, we didn't really see these kids a lot because they lived down south and like we didn't ever like we knew them growing up. Then they visited one time, maybe for a funeral or something. We were hanging out and they kept saying, yeah, uh yeah, we go. Uh my cousin took us some na house and we were just like what and they're like, yeah, like maybe we can go ctripclose and go see some

Naola house. And we were like, honestly, what the hell are you taking? Yeah, Nickelodeon, no naked live house. Yeah house, we say, neglaholaho Um. It was a weird thing we've ever heard before. But it reminds me late laugh and did you ever go No, that's the same part of our family that describes my humor as back alley humor. You're back alley humor. We don't appreciate down here, you and your family with your back I go the back alleys that we have to go get abortions in because

of your what you believe the back alleys. They have their little Hudson Wait, so they there there It isn'teresting there there there there there? Uh so they're there? Are they really? They really do like break down your comedy and they'll send you messages. No, No, it's just you know, my mom's probably gonna kill me. But we've been we've been told that we that side of the family does not care for my brand of humor in my back

alley humor. What would they rather have you do? Jeff Dunham, Yeah, Jeff, just racist puppets that's hidden behind Yeah, I mean like Jim Brewer doing that fucking act out of like you know, pretending to be a parakeet when he was talking about like Faucci vaccines, like like whatever that was. That was so terrible. I mean like, yeah, sorry, Republicans aren't funny. There is no not on purpose. Yeah, but there's no

like they're not. There's it's rare that they have a sense of irony and like sarcasm and like they and and they call out us for being woke, which of course liberals are fucking woke, but that it's we don't care for that. Well, it's interesting you're asking for naked live hose, right, but your comedy is dirty if you're talking about your pussy, so you can did I not

say white too, white hose? It's implied, right, I know, I guess now when that accent, I mean, yeah, that's but that's the interesting thing is like they could see women as like animals, like let's go look at the animal. Let go hose. But if you talk about your pussy in a smart, respectable way, you're the back alley bitch. Yeah, it's interesting that ball love it. I just watched this Carlin documentary. I'm so obsessed with George Carlin right now. I got asked it comes in waves, doesn't it? Oh

my god, I am. I never knew, like, of course this. I got interviewed for this New York Times piece that's gonna come about George Carlin about like the memification of Carlin of like all these clips resurfacing that are so it's almost like he was like he knew what he

was just saying things that resonates so much now. And it was like forty thirty years ago that he was saying these things about you know, the environment, about cancel culture, about punching down as opposed to punching up um with comedy, and and you look at it now and you're just like, oh my god, this is like so exactly what we

need to hear now, and so it's um. And then I pretty much admitted like I didn't know anything about Like I don't like tend to watch the Greats, the Priors, the Lenny Bruce is, the George Carlin's I knew, but yeah, the Collins, I don't watch those either. Look you're doing stuff back there. Um, yeah, I'm just too intimidated by it. Inaccessible. Yeah, different,

it's too old school different times. No, but yeah, I mean I think George Carlin doesn't really make me laugh per se, Like I don't laugh hard why he does make Yeah? I mean there was a quote in this documentary. I don't want to give anything away because it's not out yet, but it's Jeddapotau and someone else is it three hours? It was four hours? It was too hard for four hours and everything? What is this quote to say how long it would have been? But okay, anyhow,

but yes, what was quote? Um? Who did I just Jerryson was saying he was he was talking about getting into a conversation with Chris Rock about comedians like changing the world or being philosophers and um, and he was like last night I talked to Rock about this, like we disagree, Like I have never had my mind changed. Comedian has never done a bit that has changed my opinion on anything. The only thing that's ever done has changed my opinion about whether or not that comedian is

good or not. And I completely disagree, completely disagree. I don't think comedians are like there are some that are modern day philosophers. Most of us aren't, you know, like most of us put ourselves on that level. And it's like, come on stop it. You have to convince someone you're that you're not that. Yeah, George Carlin never told you what he was. He just was. He did cry one time watching his own speech though I remember, do you remember that that was crazy? It was a bad cut

though from years ago? Uh not even a ham drip fashion egg. That's a fashion egg. U Um so yeah, no, it was, um god, it was so good, but he was. But I disagreed, like have you can you guys think of a comedy, But that has made you kind of look at the world differently because I have so many you're hastily packed suitcase. Yeah, I mean that really has

no I honestly that bid is. I mean, I don't think I learned that much, but it does like you've changed the way I look at huge vaginas like you've made me accept But like back in the day, I was ignorant towards big pussies. I'll be honest. Yeah, I just was like roast. I was the roast beef claim. I was looking at him lave hose roast beef heads. Yeah, you know what I mean. That was a term. I would say, Oh, she's got roast beef, and you thought it meant like she was like beat up and stretched

out or like such a whore or something. No, just a good comic, thank you, you're welcome. No, but yeah, like, I uh, it is funny that we're using that bit. I just thought. But like no, but there are times where I think the less I'm not really well read or like well like so I can see a comedy bit and be like, holy shit, I didn't even like

a lot of comedy. Most people that are smart and well read and they're like, oh, it just happens to be part of something they've already known, but just more precise, yes, you know what I'm saying. Yes, So like yeah, like they take information and they seminate it, which is they make it palatable and funny so that it's like, but you get information, Like I mean, I always say, but Luis Kay's joke about being on a plane and complaining about the WiFi and then going like, actually, why don't

you be grateful for the miracle of flight. You're flying through the bird the air like a bird. To get from New York to l A. It used to take months, and you would a bunch of people would die along the way. Now you take a ship and watch a movie and you're there, so you have no right to complain about like the signal won't come, it's slow, it won't load, like shut the funk up, or like we're delayed for forty minutes on the tarmac, like shut up. And honestly, I have not I do not complain about

air travel anymore. Like maybe I'll be a little ticked, but I will not be like my rights are being and frightened up on like that. Ads are like I'm just like, just be grateful, you can be about that. Bit that I learned about comedy is that he he was saying that out like to himself. Die the villain even though he was the one that was like this Wi Fi won't work. Yeah, he I thought that was interesting how he turned that but made himself the hero. Everyone goes, oh, that was so genius to make the

other guy. Why not make it, you know, And I'm not saying it was genius. I'm just saying that I don't know that it's comedically better. I think that it's better the rule of comedy, which maybe there are some exceptions to it. You know, whatever is closest to you. So if something happened to your friend, saying it happened to you is gonna make it funnier, Or if it happened to your second cousin, saying it was your brother is going to make it funnier to the audience something

that happened three weeks ago saying it happened yesterday. The proximity to you and what is happening when you tell the joke, your body and your time period is always going to make the joke funnier. That's just a rule of comedy that they teach you. You know, this is comedy class stuff of like rule of three. Move the mic out of the way and put everything as close to the present tense as possible, even if you're talking

out of Nazi Germany street joke. Yeah, well I remember kind of like down the road at these this point, Well, it's hard to like, Uh, there's certain street jokes you can't put yourself. You can't be like, you know, a Catholic. Uh, you know, an Asian guy and me a Jew. We went to a bar, you know what I mean, Like, there's certain jokes that, yeah, that would be weird to

take everything and make it. But if you can, and if you especially when you're shorting out in comedy, you're you're so writing from a place that isn't authentic at all, and you're just like grasping at like any kind of idea that you learn the tricks to just make your set better because you have no other skills, So like, why not operate with the like these rules that work, as you know, applying to them to your shitty joke

will make your shitty joke a little bit better. And then once you learn how to write jokes, you can kind of more tell the truth. But it is interesting that because everyone always talks about that Louis example of like he was the he was the asshole. But he put it on someone else that was so smart, and I go, honestly, I think that was how did how did we even find that out? Did he tell us that? I think? So that's interesting that he told us that. I think it's I think it is. Yeah, I think

you know. Yeah. I I also learned that like with comedy, like I used to, you know, be really into telling, which I did still tell stories, but like I was, like, the story has to be exactly how it was when it happened, has to be truth like like but like to a point where like I was obsessed with the truth, but then I realized, you can play with time a little bit. Yeah, and like is probably not even exactly how it happened, And we have terrible memories that you

should already just tell yourself that you don't. Ye, get over that a little bit, because I think I spent some time on that. Like like the story about getting the h tests as a virgin. I put it with the cruise thing, but it was so I went on a cruise, hooked up the girl. Her vagina smelled. It scared me. I thought I had a disease. But the separate girl you fingered and then you got an eight test, but it wasn't that girl. But it was that girl. But I didn't get the age test till three years later,

which is even crazier. You thought you had it for three years. Yeah, so that's funnier. You should say that. That's actually funnier, I know, but I don't think you'll. Yeah, you can just say, like, I got an A and by the way, that aids us that I got out to the girl was three years later. I waited three years thinking I had ates. Yeah. So maybe you have to tell the story of the rash that you made up when you had scabies. Oh yeah, that is so funny. Circle,

I mean they've heard that story. Oh you mean telling on stage. Yes, yeah, I had a rash. I thought it. No, you had scabies, but you had something going on your tick that was very painful that you waited for so long to get checked out. He goes to get it checked out. The nurse is hot, and so he changes his story to a rash on his hand that is existent, Yes, because he was too scared to show the nurse his dick. But here's the thing, it wasn't my dick. It was

the guy's. Next. All right, let's take a gue break and come back good more after this and else, Well, it could be someone else a story that you heard, you know, can you imagine you don't mind it? No, I would do that, Yeah, I guess back in the day. I mean now I probably have a problem with it. But like you know that people do that all the time. They take other people's stories and make them their own, because what sometimes your friend is a joke and you go,

we're back. Um, you joked about like having that dick's story be someone else's dick because you're saying it. But I think that, like, if someone has a good story of your friends, that would make a great comedic story. Taking it and then making it again, applying that rule of closest to you it did happen to your friend, but didn't just say it happened to you, is going

to make it funnier. Do you have any stories of what's the funniest story outside of yourself that you've ever like, I guess your friend being Yeah, I'm trying to think of what's that you gotta go with? Noah, No, No, is there a story with Kursen? I feel like she's I feel like there are people that have great stories happen to them, and there are people that are just

funny and churs. It's just funny as opposed to like so many crazy things happening like you, just like I've made so many bad choices from just being impulsive, being scared, having anxiety. It's like it takes someone like that, I think, to have the best stories. Oh sorry, go ahead. And I was just going to quickly say, Andrew is a cat with forty two lives. Yes, and I'm forty two and I'm dying soon. Right by the way, cats, this

cat hates me, my cat? What why? It's just like anytime I go to pet it, I might as well have fucking Aid's hands or something. Yet from cruise cruise, I'm fine, Ago, I never got the three years after um wait, just to get the cat hates you. I mean he loves Bretta so much that why does it love Brenna? Just maybe just feminine energy? Yeah, girls are cat softer. I had to learn that you can't pet a cat like you pet a dog. They don't like it.

Dogs like to get their butts scratched, like the top of their back, and they like to you know, like scratched. Cats like strokes and they like like three of them and they're over it, and don't they kind of come up and get you like you wait till they start trying to get it from you. I think I'm too rough. I think I'm too rough of a person. And I thought I'm soft, but I'm not. No, you would be good with the guy. I feel like you just gotta trying with this cat. This cat they like hard to get.

I know, like I fucking you know what it is. We leave for a while and they form a bond. Yeah, they're with brend of the whole time, and then you come back every so often. And so girls can get on the floor easier. I realized this, like to pet a cat like you could just I'm on the floor. Well, six year old women can get on the floor quicker than two year old man with a hernia, especially if there's a school shooter man and woman. But you can

get on the floor easy. Yeah, because I'm a young, able bodied woman and you're you're an older man that plays golf a lot and has tight hips as you are a man. It's just because you don't I don't know why it is, dude, I tried to get on the floor the other day. It took me about nine minutes to get get on the floor. I can't even get down anymore without like I'm standing and I can't get down. You have a life alert, Braise, just to sit. I'm trying to sit to pet my cat. That fucking

hates me. This thing hates me. It's weird to live with an animal that absolutely hates you. And you know what the like this morning right and left, he slept on my side for a little bit. So so maybe she's I gotta get rid of her. I gotta get rid of her. The cat prefers her when you're read. Also, I need a floor that's higher. It's called table. I need a padded table to lay down on the floor.

It's so jealous of women's fucking able bodies. Dude, when you get older, dude, it's it's not women, it's youth. My mom problems getting on the floor. Did you get on the table to the floor. Stop making this. You're dating a woman who's sixteen years younger than you. There's it's not a female. It's not a male female. Think it's an age thing. But you just said you're able bodied, your female you're younger than you, and I like I am. I would remember your mom could get on the floor

easier than I could get on the floor. Especially if body my dad can get on the floor easier than any of us can get on the floor. And he's a man. I'd like to see it. Get on the floor, get on the wait. Isn't that a j LO song? Do you remember a Dinosaurs song? What before? Everybody get on the floor? That Dinosaur? It was a big, like eighties rap song that made no sense. It was during the time of like informer you know, lamb. I wonder what if anyone knows that that like that? I would

feel like you would. You're the kind of brain that would learn those lyrics. I know, but that was I was young for that. You're too much of a floor head for that. That equals young. Um. So last night I did I'm I'm on Watch What Happens Life tonight Thursday night. I filmed it last night. Your days and nights are great, by the way, to tomorrow tonight, watch

What Happens Yesterday. I'm on New York Today. Yesterday I was on the Day Show tomorrow and I'm on Watch What Happens Live taped pre taped tomorrow tonight, so it's right now. Yeah, it's happening right now probably, I mean by the time this comes out. Yeah, tune into a Bravo tonight to watch me and um Kiernan Shipka Madman. She played Sally Draper, whoa Yeah, Little Sally Draper is twenty two? No, Wow's that that's weird? Any questions? Yeahs all,

let's start at the beginning. Andy Cohen from St. Louis. We did radio show right next to him for a long time. Yeah, he had was a radio Andy right next to our serious show and we would we would write up in the elevator with him all the time, right down the elevator with him like there smiles. But I didn't feel like a connection between you two. No, there was not. Why were you not faming this enough yet? Do you think that's what it is? Radio wars? Radio

wars A question? Well, there's a thing I think I don't think. Do you think it was that? No, I think there's a thing about I don't know. I have a lot of theories. But he had me on the show Watch what Happens Live, and it was I was really nervous because I feel like I always because I've never been asked to me on that show. I felt like there was like a really like someone had to like twist his arm to let me on or something, because I just feel like I should have been on

a while ago, just because what high school he went to? Clayton? Oh yeah, that makes sense then, but on and So I was like, I just wanted to really do a good job the way, Just what high school do you go to? Claiming that that's the reason. So wait, so did you come? Possibly Clayton is a good one. Kirkwood's like, you know, public school. I've dream back Kirkwood. It's it's awesome. I don't know my sister teaches that. Kirk. I don't know where the trees stop in the build name begins.

It's not really doesn't really pop out to me. Yeah, your your high school is not supposed to be aesthetically like gorgeous. It doesn't mean that there aren't George Washington University down the road, gorgeous campus. Isn't that a university? Yeah, Step, I'm calling shots. Get on the floor. Okay, back to Andy, So so you're going there, you're guns blazing. Because he went to Clayton you went to Kirkwood. What happens? Um,

I'm not guns blazing. I just want to do a good job because I know that show is like so, I mean that show is a fine tuned, um perfect show. I mean it has so many segments, it is fast paced. It is such a tone that he has set. He has like crazy fans, Like it's just it's it's a party too. There's like an audience of probably like twenty people. It's a little room, yes, very small room, and you just sit in this little clubhouse and then you sit down and then it just goes and then it's thirty

minutes of like boom boomla Like it's fast. Um. Things that people don't know about TV shows is that even if they're pre taped, you still take commercial breaks are exactly as long as the commercial. It's so weird. I always used to think you would just go right to the next thing. Like on podcasts that you listen to, no one's taking breaks for ads, Like we don't stop down for three and a half whatever it is. We

just go right into the next thing. But TV shows, for some reason, I know, I'm sorry, behind the scenes, TV shows, for some reason, they do take those breaks and we have to watch the ads. I'm just kidding that that's don't happened, but we just you just got the products. Uh yeah, good anyway. So wait, so then you sit down, is there more pressure because there's like a shot clock to be funny, to get something in. Do you feel like it's you don't want to step

on anyone? I'm going to ask if you like that format because you love love love. I loved it because it's just so fast and there's like one minute for every ants, like everything, like every segment. It's like, can you do that in one minute? Like it was just like fast, fast, fast. Yeah. I prepared a lot, like I had homework for that show, Like, um, I had to binge Summer House because they were going to talk about you know what Bravo reality show do you watch?

And I was like, I don't watch any of them because I stopped watching Summer House because Hannah's not on it anymore on this season. But then I was like, no, I'll, I'll, you know, I want to. I'm honored to be on the show. I want to give it my Allso I binged fourteen episodes of the Summer thirteen episodes of the Summer House loved it, and so they had like a bunch of questions about Summer House for me of like what do you think about all this stuff? And then um,

and then they had questions about my reality show. And then they had me do this game where Kiernan would be blindfolded and like she had to guess who I was roasting. So I had to roast celebrities. Um wait, hold on, let me or any celebrities. Um. I don't want to ruin it for people, because it was pretty good just roast Andrew. You think it would be that easy people, that's the problem, as they always go. And then we're gonna do this game where you just roast people.

And I'm like, I write jokes that are like math problems. I can't do it in my head like I can sometimes if I've been the break or yeah or just like lazy. It's not going to be as precise as what I'm known for. And I have like a I have like a level that I'm known for, and I don't want to ever deviate from that. So I have to, like I have to like write a lot of jokes beforehand. Um, and so I wrote all these jokes about celebrities. We only got through like four out of the ten jokes

I wrote, or ten people I wrote totes for. But it was really fun and Kiernan was so nice. And then after the show, Um, she was just so lovely and like so comforting and just she's twenty two, but she's just like full of poise and maturity. Like I have jokes about like young girls having old souls. This girl is like an adult. And then after words we're hanging out or we're like taking pictures and selfies and she's like, we need a selfie. And then she was

like can I get your number? And I'm like yes, and then she is Um, she was like, oh, we're going to dinner. Do you want to go with us? And she was there. I saw this woman in the audience, UM know me Fry who writes for The New Yorker, who I like, I am a huge fan of. I followed her on Instagram. She's John Mayer kind of like because of because of her. I checked the mail the other day because I still sometimes get mailed to our old Blaze. You had maybe eight seven New York because

I subscribed online. I don't read the actual one but they still send you. But she's the one that got subscribe because I was getting blocked out of reading her stuff and I love it, so you should act. I saw her in the audience and I was like, oh my god, she's here, Like and I knew Kiernan his friends with John Mayer and I knew no, no, me was friends John Mayor. So I was like, maybe they can't give me another connection that I just realized. So

your stylist Danny and I'm a styled Kiernan not too long? Yes, yes, yes, they that was another connection. I walked to her and was like, do you know Danny and Emma? And so that was that was fun good call. Noah, do you think she's more mature because of the show she was on? It was like based in the sixth it was like a mature show. No, there's just something else going on with her. Maybe, I mean like she grew up on an adult set. But I feel like she just like knew.

I got the whole story from her of like how she Oh wait, did you go to dinner? Yeah? I went to dinner. I like I didn't want to go because I was just like so tired. Yes, So I mean I didn't do a podcast history because I was just like almost in tears of how tired I was. But after in my adrenaline's up and and I'm with Robin and I'm like, I don't want to go. She was probably just inviting me. Yeah, and I'm like, now I'm going to take her up on it, and they're

probably gonna be like, oh God, she's actually coming. But she was like, even if you don't come, like when you're nela like text me, let's hang out. And I was just like, this girl is so nice. She's twenty two, Like what's she But you know the women she's with are in their forties, like her two friends that she's with. So I'm like, you know, I'm actually I'm one of her peers. Yeah, you can get on the floor with her.

So I went, and I didn't know if they were going to meet up with other famous people, Like I just via Kuroda, which is this place that I've always that it's I see it on demas all the time. Anya used to go there all the time. It's like a celebrity Like where's they It's in the village. Is it like it's like really nice or really yeah? It's not like it's it's just yeah, it's it's delicious and

like gorgeous food. And I didn't see any others, but um, we got there and we I just had the best time with these three girls that I just met an hour before, and they were so nice. We had such good conversations, and um, it was all because this twenty two year old just like extended this invite in the most sincere, your kind way, noke. She was so unca there's no like pretension or like like celebrity about her.

And you know, they're saying like they're telling stories at the table and they're like, oh, yeah, well I should tell Taylor that, and I'm just like Taylor, I go wait. Because there were times where they would say, oh, we know each other through John and I'm like and and and and Ben or something, and I go who are these people? And then you find out there like they

continue the name and their celebrities names. So when they're like, oh, um, oh yeah, that that was the one where Taylor, you know, and Taylor was there and I'm like Taylor, who and she's like and they're like swift and I'm just kind I just like gulp, you know, just like I'm keeping it in. And then I realized and she's like, I

have to text Taylor about that. She said she said that about something that they were talking about, and I was like, I can't believe my contact is in the same phone talking to her like through a medium, Like like you're like like, like, what else could you out? Taylor?

I was just I just is that someday Kiernan and Taylor hanging out add for my show comes on and Karenan goes, you know, she's so cool, and then Taylor goes, really because she is really annoying to me with how much she obsessed with me, but maybe I'll let her in. This is the girl that talks to me through you. No, I wasn't. I didn't say anything. I wasn't like telling me about Taylor. I was just like I just clocked.

I just go Taylor who and they go swift and I go oh and then just you know, wet myself and then stole our number. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's I guess it's one degree of separation, like the Kevin Bacon thing. Yeah, I'm there, I'm on, I'm on the precipice. Yeah, I mean it's very close. But this girl Karnan, she is the way she was with me, she is probably friends with fucking everyone. She is just the kindest person,

so nice. And and then later on in the dinner, they're like, oh, kas is going to come by, and I'm like, who's this and eventually was like, who's kaz And they were like from Kazzi from David, Yes, Larry David starter Kazie David who I've never met, but I'm a fan of her writing as well, and it's so weird, like the two women who's writing I like seek out when they write anything, were you know, me and uh Kazi And they both showed up and Kazi, man I I love her so much, so funny, so like just

saying things that like you know, you go, I like I was biting my tongue a little bit sometimes not to like be too mean or like ship talkie or like just say weird things. Kazi came in and just like cut cut into that, like she's and she's friends

with them, so she was more comfortable. But it just made me go, like I was just like, oh, this is no, no, no no. But it was like it was a eight hang and she was only there for like the last fifteen minutes, but I was like, I love her, like I really want to be Like they're like we don't need Nikki as our friend, like she's fine,

but like I don't agree with that. I think I want to be desperately to be friends with them, But I just I think that they're probably good with like just knowing me from Afar based on just yeah, there's so many famous friends and it's like they don't need me, but Cassie needs me. There's just like a comic energy to it of like there's these these women are intellectuals by like Kiernan and uh, you know me and her

friend Alissa who does a podcast with Lena Dunham. They're like intellectuals and I'm I'm smart enough to keep up, but like you're definitely smart enough. Don't put people on a pedestal, don't put them off the on top of the floor table. Oh I mean I'm on, I'm on my own pedals. Still, it's just a different one. Yeah, but I but I really loved these Did they mention a about like seeing the rows you're seeing your stand up? They were fans of mine? Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. They're

saying the same about you somewhere. I'm sure she's talking to Taylor right now there in pajamas, lay in bed,

that nicky glazer. Man. You think she's funny in person, Man, she's I just couldn't believe how nice these girls were because they just I look at them as like such, the like cool girls, and I just and I know that people consider me like a cool girl, and I forget that, but I just don't feel that way like ever, especially on the day where I was like on like in the Andy Cohen space of like this is a world where I'm like, I'm just grateful to be here, Like I know, but dude, if you did that show

five times again, it will be it's not. But it was so it was just like I was like, this was such a I made four four new friends, um in one night. And it was all because I did something socially that I let me be honest, I didn't want to do because it's awkward. I didn't even know if they wanted me there. But I just go, you know what, I gotta go because I gotta be open to things and and they wouldn't. I'm going to take

them at their word. They wouldn't have invited me if they didn't want to, and if they made the mistake of inviting me when they didn't really mean it, well they're gonna They're gonna rue the day because I'm showing up and they were so excited. I was there and it was sincere. It was really cute. I just love her here and in chip check out her new She has a new show on Roku called um oh God. It was like something about I can't wait to watch it. They showed a clip of it and I was like,

she is going to win an oscar someday. She's captivating. Um But yeah, she was Sally Draper in Madmen. She just her parents are in real estate. They from Chicago, and she just told her parents like I want to go to um l A for pilot season when she was six. She didn't even know, like she just had heard of it and she was like, I just had so much confidence. And she booked a movie. And then she booked Sally Draper like right away and as so fascinating to hear about her, Like that's kind of what

Taylor did in Nashville. Yeah, just a young age. I think the same thing. But my parents are like, no, yeah, I think I told my mom I want to be a model when I was like seven, And she's like, is the is the series called Swimming with Sharks? Yes, swimming with Sharks? Thank you? It looks so good. Um, she is so beautiful. Jesus Christ. It is alarming. It doesn't it's it's unreal how pretty that girl is in person. There's some people that are just like porcelain dolls. And

she's so nice, like really really nice. God, her parents did a great job. She's a great person. All right, let's get to the news. It's Thursday, folks. You know what that means. It is Thursday. I hope you're having all the swells out there. We're gonna be in Minneapolis, and we're gonna be in Madison, Wisconsin. Two shows in Madison, one in Minneapolis. Minneapolis is tomorrow. Friday. Yeah is Saturday. Uh yeah, I hope you're having all the swells again.

And the Sunday Sunday Day Day. I'm getting a facial to day after that on Monday. Yeah, well then premieres Sunday night, another big thing. Yeah, today is Nicki Glazer Day in St. Louis. I'm taking a nap after this, and then I'm going to go throwing out the first pitch. I keep looking at your arm, thinking of the ready. Really, we'll get you in the news. Okay, cool, alright, you know it's looking at that arm and that whole body. Whole body over there. Okay, this story is crazy. I

think you're gonna love it. A pet duck led police to crack the case of a missing North Carolina grandmother who vanished over two years ago, and led to the murder charges against the victim's granddaughter and grandson in all, wait, how did a duck cracker case? That's okay, So both of these people were under investigation. The body was nowhere to be found, since like, don't tell that to a duck. A breakthrough in the case happened this month when a

pet duck got spooked and ran underneath a trailer. The owners who chased the duck found a container that had the woman's body in it. An we do not believe she was killed at that address. She was killed at another location and then transported to where her remains were found by the pet. So the duck just like got spooked and like went to a place where people when they went to go find the duck. The duck wasn't like it's over here like it was Gilbert Godfrey. I

feel like that is God. That's got to be God. Those kind of things, like when a runner finds a body and like, oh I saw one hangnail underneath elite, It's like, that's not coincidence. That's something bigger. That's like the one time. I'm like, really, that's the one time, just the one when runner finds a body. See, I don't think I think it's a complete coincidence. But I also am open to like they're being now with Tyler Henry. I believe that there are people out there, but I

don't think they affect the laws of the universe. Souls don't like can't tell a duck to go do something, but eventually a duck's gonna I wonder what this woman had in common with ducks, Like maybe there was something like she really liked ducks, duck, like like one of those cement ducks in her garden. Um, so they duck growing up? How did they connect it to the people that How did they figure out who killed the duck? Well, she killed the duck, who killed the grandma. So both

of the of her granddaughter and her um husband. Um, both of them were kind of like stealing money from her account and her prescriptions, and they were under investigation with the connection of her death, and they were both charged with concealing a death. The investigators just didn't have the body to I guess finished the conversions where. I mean, these people got to put bodies in better places. Probably tupperware, yeah,

nice top, probably concealed the smell pretty well. I mean, how far away was this from where they killed her? People are people are lazy about the people who murder. People are dumb. It's like to be to have the kind of anger and like did you hear kind of impulses kind of a body and be like whatever, it's fine,

what would you do to get rid of her body? Wait? Sorry, There was just like a huge case in Queens, New York where, um, a woman was having an affair with her handyman and he like, you know, I guess she was trying to break off the relationship with him, and he chopped her up and put her in trash bags and just like carried her out of the house. And he was caught on like surveillance camera because everyone has surveillance cameras through like ringing and all that. It's been

so easy back in the seventies and eighties. You could be so lazy with it. You could bring it out like four could literally like just roll it down the stairs. You won't even have to cut it up. How getting away with murder now has got to be so difficult. You're such an idiot if you try to kill someone now, I mean, really, just gun fine people, Duck, That's what I'm saying, Like, if you're out of if you're poor in a poor part of town like Tiler and you know,

we don't we don't care about poor people. Cops don't care about poor people. It's that there's no money in caring about poor people. Yeah, so who So how do you give Carl and duck? And so I'm a little bit on this like yeah, like he has this great bit about like you know why there's a homeless problem because there's no money in fixing the homeless problem. There's no money. And interesting, there's money in the drug problem.

There's money. Like, there's no money and the homeless So that's why it's we're not going to do anything about it. He's so good. Um, I had a duck growing up. Did you know that? Did you? How did you kill? My mom got it from an owl? Killed it? What? Yeah, we woke up one day and an owl had picked it up off the ground and put it on a table the higher ground on actually the railing of our debt,

you know, the deck that killed it. And oh ye had ripped it to shreds on the and just left it out there like almost like did your grandma's dumble upon it? Wait, no, but like how did you How did My mom went out in the morning on Sunday morning and just like saw the duck. But it was

so cute, that little duck. We named it um, like we're trying to come up with a name for it when my mom brought it home and it was the same summer that that song like Maria Maria was like big and so Kursen for some reason, because she's the funniest person alive, came up with um. Remember that part where it's like play it. It's like the your nick named Dame Brown Burn Brown Brown and he's just played

by Carlos Santana. So Christi played by Carlos sun Quackers and so his name was Carlos because of that song. Did you buy the stuff? My mom bought him at the Sulard market. She just came home from the market out of tuck and we were just like, when did mom get cool? When is mom bringing home in pets? She was never a pet person? So where does Doug live inside in the backyard? I mean, we didn't do a good We didn't. We didn't give that duck the life it deserved and that's why that an owl got it.

But you know, did the kind of nature it too was definitely natured out. Yeah, all right, let's get to the next story. Okay, have you heard about this? Olivia? Olivia Wilde was served custody papers by her ex Jason Studakis while on stage discussing her new film in front of four thousand industry executives. Her new film That where she met Harry Style. Harry Styles. Studakis says he had no idea custody papers would be handed to her so publicly. Yeah,

I don't think that's when I heard that. I was like, Jason Sudekis is not a type of person in my like what do I know? But like that would do that? I'll tell you that that's funny to think that I didn't do it it will let Yeah, yeah, it seems it's another one of those things. If you didn't talk to him, you would think like it was a spiteful move because she did have an affair. Hair Styles is so good looking. Huh. I don't think that's I think you're confusing. Like Amber heard in her they do like

she had an affair with Harry. I don't think that she's obviously still married, but I feel already broken up when the Harry thing started. That's not what I've I think they met before they broken up, but I don't think they started dating until after I mean separated. I mean he dates other women too, So you're thinking that they met on set. It happens a lot where you end up dating someone that you know before you break up with the person, and it doesn't mean that anything

squirrelly was going on before. You're giving her the benefit out Harry Styles. In the whole thing is that she left her husband for Harry Styles. What are we talking about here? I don't know. I don't think that. I don't know that it was it. I don't think that I'm not she was unhappy in the marriage. No, I understand that, But don't you think, well, she's allowed to date someone after you get separated from someone, after you break up with someone, you're allowed to date someone else.

Report of law. Apparently, I'm just saying, like in the this is about custody. This isn't about her cheating. There's never been that. This is a custody about. This isn't about him like getting more money or him not giving her money because she cheated. There's nothing like that in this story. Don't you think Jason sadig Is would probably still be married if she didn't end up hooking up

with Harry style. I do remember the stories we're saying that Jason Studakis was like heartbroken over it, and they were presenting him as like taking a long time to get over her, right, I did remember that too. Yeah, That's what I'm talking about. I just you just never know, because I just don't know what's going on right now. Hours. So Harry is that good looking where we're not gonna say that he broke up a marriage. No, I'm not saying. I just think that if if he did, how did

he not break up a marriage? What are you talking about? Someone can be in an unhappy marriage and then meet a guy on set. It doesn't mean that they're like, I'm going to break up with him for this guy as soon as But then when you break up, you go I'm single now, and then all the sudden people that the marriage with Yeah, example of the marriage break up the marriage part I think I think can be true here. I don't even put the blame on Angelina Jolie,

like that marriage was already gonna end. Branson and bread Pitt and Angelina one. No relationships end. Relationships end. And also, I'm sorry if your husband's cheating on you or your girlfriend's cheating on you, you have some you have. People are going to come at me for this. You have a part to play in it. I feel like I'm eating crazy and you don't have a part to blame it, Like you need to seck your husband's dick more, bitch. It's like you are with someone who doesn't like you

and who would cheat on you. Therefore you are not You don't know the person you're with. If you if you think that person you're with could never cheat on you, you have a harsh lesson to learn, which it might not be it's not your fault, but like good, you don't want to be with that person. That should end. That's an unhealthy relationship. It's not because of that woman. It's not because of that man. As a girl who has been the other woman, it wasn't my fault that

your relationship was shit. If I hadn't come along, it would have been someone else. Bitch. Look, I would fucking suck Harry Styles dick too. Is that what understand why we're having a hard time understanding that? No, I just think we are like I I agree your dad and mom would have divorced had it not been for your stepmom. Sure, okay,

well there, okay, how about this? If Ivy was out on a fucking work trip he sleeps with another woman who knew about you publicly because you're married with two kids, don't care. We have no evidence before, no one cares. It's fine. But also we don't have any evidence that Harry Styles and she slept together before they broke up. That's there. There's nothing yet that the evidence is that they hooked up. Where divorce? There's no evidence for that?

Where is that evidence? Why are we playing dumb? Like? What is going on in here? I'm not playing dumb. I swear to god they might have had like like she might have been like, oh my god, if I was single, this would be something I would pursue. But you don't leave your husband because you have a fun little flirtation with someone. No' is exactly right. Like if Noah wouldn't blame if it wasn't this woman that Abby met, it would be someone else. Their relationship is not healthy.

If he's even able to do that, it's not that woman. The two of us are responsible for our relationships, so I would put the onus on the two of us getting to the point where one has to cheat on the other. Yes, I'm saying I'm not disagreeing like I think you're coming at me, like Elain up the marriage. I think a lot of people put on the third party. But there is another perspective to be had, I guess,

and that's where me and Nikki are. I just don't think that she and Harry Stiles did anything before they broke up. I would believe that. I just think that she is a I mean, I don't know her, but I just and what do I know? But I am giving her the benefit of doubt that she did not betray that relationship and broke up with a relation. To be listen, you can't help the way you feel if you do develop a crush on someone while you have a husband, while you have a boyfriend, while you have

a girlfriend, whatever. You can't help that you have a crush. You really can't help that. There's yes, you can distance yourself from them. You can do things like but if you're constantly thinking about someone, there's something wrong in your relationship, or you need to be in an open relationship, or monogamy is not cut out for you. But like, that is not that other person's fault, and that is not that's not even your fault. I'm just in a relationship.

The point of all of this was that if he did send those papers out of spite, I could see how he could be spiteful if his wife left him while she was on set with someone else. That's all I was saying, no and not believe him while she was on set with someone else. She just met a guy. It's nothing about said. Okay, so if you and Brenna broke up and then Brenna starts dating someone that you knew, she knew before you broke up. That doesn't mean before that happen on this way. But this is what I'm

talking about, what I've googled it. There's no evidence that they hooked up before they broke up, no evidence. So but would you like is that would you then blame that guy for your breakup? If Brenna happened to date someone who she had no sexual relationship with, no even flirtation, was just friends with, and then it happened to develop in something more after you guys broke up, that wasn't

that guy's fault. That wasn't Brenna like pre planning it and breaking up with you so she could be with him, which actually people have every right to do if they broke up. If they broke up, they can actually break up with someone before they attempt to do something physical with other person. And that is not cheating. That is realizing I want something better than what I have final answer, not final thought. And you're gonna get a lot of d ms being like go Andrew go, because there are

girls that are like, I've been cheated on. It's it's not my fault. I'm not saying it's your fault. Boys, I'm not saying it's your fault. If you get cheated on, it's no one's fault, but it means your relationship. It

would have happened anyway, it's not that person. And if you're and if it was that person, that person tricked your boyfriend into hooking up or tricked your girlfriend and seduced them, then you're dating a fucking weak idiot that you shouldn't be with because that idiot I'm saying that, but I'm just saying that. I'm saying Olivia Wilde would be the weak idiot if she left him because she was seduced by Harry and Harry had and she would have stayed with Jason forever had Harry not come along.

And what wove as spell like and she's disillusioned and they're not even gonna last, and Harry just wanted her first, Like maybe they're actually meant to be more than Jason and her, And she should leave Jason for the leave her if he needs someone that's better for him. People should not settle. You should constantly be having to earn the person you're with. Look, I'm not arguing with any of this. Go to break, Let's go back with our sports, and we're back Sports Moment of the Week Gears Andrews

Weekly st Huh, I didn't see a movie. That was the last They were banging the whole time they made it. Oh wait, okay, are you going back and what you just said? Originally? Maybe? Okay, I'm gonna read this, but I have no idea what it means because it's sports. But it has something to do with the Cardinals bench clearing. Bra Yeah, there you go. Uh Mets Cardinals brawl erupts after um, a Mets hitter got hit by a pitch. J D. Davis left the game in the eighth inning

after b hit in the left ankle. A brawl broke out between the Mets and Cardinals and St. Louis when Mets reliever Yoan Lopez retaliated by throwing high and inside at Nolan Arnado. I mean, these are guys acting like five year olds and somehow because it's tradition. It's fine. What's tradition a brawl? Grown men running out and fighting each other the benches. The whole team came out and they just started everyone even like who brakes it up.

It's so funny because like baseball players, they're so like kind of out of shape in a way because it's baseball. It's not like they're in shape. But they're not like they run from the from the deep. I'm talking like five feet away. You know, you have five on your feet. They're winded and it takes so long. How long did it take to break up? And did anyone get hurt? No one really ever? Like nowadays, like back in the day, like people begin hit with bats and ship like straight up.

But now it's more like an ego thing. I was like, it's a lot of like in your face, hold me back, a lot of hold me back. Yes, like hold me back. The umpires have to break it up. There's are those are old umpires. There's also now there's you know security, but um, just don't throw the ball today at at the pitch or Nikki when you're throwing first. It's a different team. I told Nikki about this. I said, it would be great if you actually start to brawl going again,

Well it would be a funny comment to say. I just hope I don't hit Arnato's ankle, Yes, like isn't that what who had made the brawl? Oh, I'll try not to hit you are are you gonna be on Mike, I don't know, but I'm going to give some statement, like they're giving me the key to baseball Ballpark Village, and then they're giving me a star on the Walk of Fame, and then I have to make some statement afterwards. And then I go throw the pitch and I get to bring my family out, my mom and dad and

my sister coming out to the mountain with me. It's gonna be fun. Are you nervous? No? I literally gives a fuck what happens. Like, honestly, I don't care. I don't care because it's just I'm not a baseball player. I don't even want to do this. I asked if I could say this the national anthem, sing the national anthem. They said no, we'll do the first princh. I'm a girl who does not claim to be good at sports.

It's just a fun thing to do. I am grateful that I get to do it, but like, I don't like I feel like more like Andrew and Chris are more like obsessed with like how well I do than me. The only thing that I will be upset about if I throw a bad ball is like how disappointed Chris and Andrew. Well, I won't be I swear to God, I don't like it. They'll know, they'll be embarrassed on my behalf. But I won't be embarrassed, won't. I won't from a friend, I really won't. I just won't be.

I just don't care. I'm and I'm too tired to care. That is other things, the words the better for me, not beat for your embarrassment, just because it doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Also, there's never been a first pitch other than unfor George Bush when he threw that saved our country. Oh oh, that's been so good. That that's been so good. A great one, bad one. Yeah, I mean he throws its six ft to the left, and he's you know, he's athletic, you know when whenever, being a man has

got to have a little bit more. Yeah, people, as long as it goes somewhat straight. No, it actually doesn't even matter. It doesn't matter at all. It doesn't get tired.

I'm excited though today because I don't have to like do it like I've been having to do press all day, every day, every damn day for like weeks and weeks, and it's a lot of interviewing, it's a lot of answering questions, and today it's just I give one little statement after they give me the thing, and then I go out and throw the pitch and I'm not even miked.

And I might, like, you know, boomerang some fucking shirts with red Bird and the fucking Cardinals gals into the stands, but that's it, and then I'm just My only thing is like it's like going to be a big party with like my family, Chris and his family, and I just might not be like I'm not like that awake for it. I gotta find some fucking meth or something. I gotta I don't know how I'm going to get

through today. I am so tired. I'll try to. I'll try to, but I'm gonna sleep all tonight in Minneapolis and Madisone are going to be so fun. And then Sunday I'm going to sleep so much. But we might do a viewing party in which we have like the public come out, so it'll be another thing. I'm like, I just need a tape off so bad. It's like, please give me COVID this weekend. If you have COVID, we come cough in my mouth. I'm desperate for a

day I just please. All right, let's get the fan trax alrighty, all right, UM, let's start off with Molly, who needs some advice. Hi, besties. So I'm calling in today a little bit nervous, but with a vulnerable topic and that question that I've always been wanting to ask you guys. So this past week or so, UM, I've really been trying my best and more dedicated than ever

to quitting weed. Um, I don't drink. I stopped drinking my sophomore year of college just because I just really never liked it and we'd became my choice at that point. And I've been smoking every day since I was like eighteen, and I'm now twenty three, and I'm really trying to quit because I've been going to therapy and making such great progress and just doing all of the other steps that come along with bettering myself. And we need is something that is the center of my life, like a

true addict. And I just love you guys so much. The show means so so much to me, and I know that you know I relate to you, guys, and your advice would really speak to me and maybe anybody else who's struggling with the same thing. So yeah, I hope I said everything, and I hope you guys answer and I don't know. Thank you, thank you so much for everything you do. Joint. Oh my god, Molly, that is so nice. Your voice is so soothing. Whatever pot

smoke does to your voice, it's really good. Added oh man, I mean, this one's a tough one. But it's like it's so hard to quit weed, especially after you like you know, it's the thing that works for you. It's the thing that you feel like as someone who really relates to I can function on weed. I can. I like it every day. I feel like it was medicinal. It helps with my depression, it helps with my anxiety.

Like I do know though that like you want to quit for a reason, and I think that's an important thing to remember, is like if it was serving you, like things that aren't taking away from your life, you don't seek out reasons to quit, so like that is already there, right, Like I think it's a lot of times we can convince ourselves of things we want to quit, like no, I don't need to we like all of a sudden go oh waits like what was I even thinking?

It's like, well, have you ever wanted to quit watching friends? Like have you ever like sought help, like I need to quit I don't know walking my dog Like this is a problem, like if it was, so, if it's it means it's a problem that you want to quit. But it also means though that like I think that it's really scary to think of your whole life without weed.

And I think that's something that like holds me back from quitting things, is to go, oh my god, I'm gonna go the rest of my life with this thing that I, like you said, is the center of your life. So and I don't think though that like, oh, I'll just take a month off. Those kinds of things are very helpful, even though that's a thing that a lot

of people do, like sober January or whatever, sober October. Um. I think that I think what you should do, Molly is just experiment with like allowing yourself to have it. And I've said this before, but like really not having shame in it, because I'm sensing probably like a lot of shame of like, oh I'm doing it again. I need this every day. I'm such a loser. I probably have to waken like I'm guessing you're like me. You like wanted as soon as you wake up in the morning.

It's like replace coffee for you in ways. You want it before you watch TV. You want it before you go out and hang out with your parents. You want it before you go walk the dog, like you want it before everything. It's like makes everything better. Let yourself to have it because those urges to have it. You're doing it for a reason. You're not doing it because you're a bad person and you want to like fucking

get you what. You love drugs and you love being like out of swords and you love being like a worse friend and not as present. You're not like no one wants to be that. You're doing it because you're in pain, and it takes you out of your pain momentarily. That is why you're doing it, which is like who would ever fault someone for wanting to do something like that? And yeah, other people can fault you for it, but they don't. They have their things that take them out

of their pain. Yours happens to be weed. That's the way your physiology works. It just works for you, but in the long run, it doesn't work because it takes you out of your pain momentarily, and then on the back end, it's your pain is still there after you're not high again, and then there's more pain because you have the anxiety of failing and smoking the weed and feeling bad about yourself, And then what do you have

to calm that anxiety? More weed? So like I would try to first experiment with just like because I remember and maybe you've heard me say it when I quit weed, which I felt like how am I ever gonna do this? I just changed my attitude about it and was like, you know what, you deserve this, like you need this. God only knows what you would do if you didn't have this. It would be like maybe you would kick your dog, Maybe you would punch a wall and break your hand, maybe you would cry all day and not

be able to work. Like this is the least bad thing you could do right now because you're in pain, Like, so just let yourself have it, and I think that you'll see that you it will slowly fade away and you'll get to a place where if you're practice being gentle with yourself and kind to yourself about your usage of weed and not judging it and not feeling like dirty and like bad and secretive, just being like I just need this and if I didn't, I wouldn't be

doing it. You will be able to be because you smoke weed, because you're you're not kind to yourself, you know, like you're smoking weed to a suage anxieties. Anxieties come from like self hatred, thinking about the past, thinking about the future, worrying, thinking about yourself, yourself, yourself, I hate myself.

I'm a bad person, all these things. And so if you start by like eliminating the guilt of you're a bad person because as of the weed, that will take some of that pressure off, and then eventually you learn to be better to yourself. And there's also twelve step programs for marijuana that you can look into and you just can type in twelve step marijuana, And there are

meetings that you can attend that I'm aware of. There are there's like whole support groups for people that smoke weed, and I think it's marijuana is anonymous is what it's called m A. And there's meetings on zoom all across the country that you can go to and get help from people that are suffering from the same thing as you and don't listen to people who have normal relationships with weed. Don't convince yourself you're one of those people.

You are not. You're not. You wish you were, so do I I wish I could just have one glass of wine here and there. I wish I could have just one hit of weed here and there before a movie. It doesn't We're different. So don't listen to those people that go, oh, I just haven't like when I want to, like feel like laugh a lot at a reality show and just and you go, you know what I could

do that you can't. Girl, You're not. You're different and you're special, but you're special and way and so that's another thing that gets in the way of quitting is just being around people that are have a better relationship with things, and you go, why can't I do that well? Because you also have brown hair and they have blonde hair. Like It's it's as simple as that. You're just not the same person, so we can't all be the same with drugs. I hope that helps, And you can DM

me if you want to talk about it too. Um all right, next panther Rex, thank you for letting me monologize another person asking for help tiny candre. And my name is Raley from Bulgaria and I'm calling for advice, but most teachers to talk to my friends. You know, I just felt like talking to you. I'm in such a stressful situation in my life right now, so much problems in stress. And I've been talking to this guy

on bumbo for like two weeks. We just wanted to hook up, but and what it was supposed to be today, It was supposed to see each other today, but um, I just woke up to human matching you. We had such a great conversation. It was so fun and flirty, and we were sexting and all that. It was exciting. I'm just so bummed out, honestly, Uh, just feeling kind of desperate and kind of sick of all these social media and dating apps and just you know, what's your advice?

Thank you? I love you so much and I just want to hug you. You know, I have a great day. We w don't hug you too. What was her name? Rally? Rally? Do you have anything to say to Rally as a guy on the other side of bumbles? I mean, yeah, I get I get how it can just be the dating online just the the endless Everyone has a million people on their phone that they can go on a

date with. There it's an endless buffet. It's you're searching for, like and there can be There's been plenty of times where people get positive connections through these uh fucking bumble Like just the name bumble doesn't sound like you're gonna marry the person. I would say, maybe step away from trying to find love in a place where you repeatedly aren't getting it, and maybe you know, go like just try to like not even think about trying to find

someone for a couple of weeks. I know it's harder, easier said than done, but like I think chasing it and constantly being disappointed is to chase even before being disappointed, that is setting you up for these like bad feelings and like these feelings where you're feeling you know what I mean, Like so I don't know, like for me, like when I stopped like expecting, like and it's not just with dating, it's with anything, Like I just I

feel so much happier. I know it is very hard, just like people always used to say that, like when I was single, Like, oh, like you've got to stop searching when you see it is to search you will find and I just don't I don't know. That doesn't do it for me, because it's just how do you

stop searching? You you want someone, you care about finding someone, the time is of the since, especially if you're a woman in certain like and then you want certain things in your life, it's like it's hard to stop looking.

But I do think that in this scenario, like I have been here so many times, girl of like having so much hope for a guy where you're like connecting, you're sharing, even if it's via text, Like there's there's amazing connections that can happen via text um that a lot of people I think could roll their eyes about it, like you didn't even meet them and you're feeling this sad.

It's like, no, you can really share a lot, and especially if you're sexting and you get so excited, like finally this is like you're you're thinking about this person all the time and then all of a sudden, unmatched. What I'm thing happened is that this person reconnected with an X. It's always that way. It has nothing to do with you, even though it seems so personal. They reconnected with an X, or they met someone else, or they're already with someone yeah, or they got caught on

there or to get off yeah. Um it is so frustrating, But I I really do think that you don't have to stop searching, but search for like a new hobby or something that you can get really into that isn't boys, Like keep looking for boys, like keep having fun with that, stay on the apps like do that, but force yourself because it's harder to shut something off than it is

just pick something else up. So focus on something learning a new skill, learning a new language, sign up for duo lingo, like, immerse yourself in something new, just to shift your focus instead of just trying. Because if you just try to stop being boy crazy and you have nothing, replace it with like what goes in that void? Nothing like of you can't do. You can't shut your brain off,

so you gotta fill it with other things. Um. Also that would open that would open her up to opportunities of meeting people with a similar interest who might introduce

her to somebody else. It kind of goes back to what you were talking about earlier today going out with Kiernan and the um Times magazine Lady h New York Magazine, Lady Sorry, and just like opening yourself up to meeting other people and like in in real life, knowing that I can walk into this with no expectation, just bring my full self to the table and hopefully connect with these people or just have a story to take away

from it. Yes, it sucks too because you you know, you get on match with and then you're tainted with anything like you know, you get hurt, and then you're gonna you're gonna bring that fear to the next conversation. You're gonna go, well, why am I gonna go through this same thing again? If I'm just going to get the same end result. But that's not what happens every time.

Getting to I Do, I'm not getting read Getting too I do like immerse yourself in that because it's so interesting and it's still about being boy crazy and it's a different approach. Getting too I do, it's like and really I would not there's nothing wrong with what you did because I did it all the time. No sex stuff, no sex thing, no no even like you can flirty, you can be flirty, you can be you know innuendos.

No actual sex talk before you actually meet this person and get and um are you'll read about this and getting to I do, but like it. It is always a mistake and you didn't even do anything wrong because I've done this and I still do this sometimes just out of habit to get sexually intimate with a guy via text in person before you have a commitment from of what you want. And I know that sounds crazy. How am I going to get a commitment before I even have sex with them? You can do other stuff,

but like having talks about sex, they guys get. Guys get turned off by that because what they think is this person is too easy. They gave it to me, they barely know me, and they already are having phone sex with me. This girl is probably doing this with everyone, and guys guys don't judge you. Guys may think you're a slept, but what that means to them. They might say, oh, that means she's a slept because it protects them, But

what it means to them is they're not special. And guys want to feel special and it makes them feel threatened. And so try to keep that really like you can be winky and flirty, no more sex, And I think having a new approach to this whole thing might give you, um, might give you different results and give you something new to focus on other than just like matching and connecting. Final thought. Yeah, let's do final thought, final thoughts. Okay,

it's do one more. I like these advice segments. Yeah, we got a lot of questions for advice. Um, okay, let's try Mark, Hey, Nikki, Noah, and Andrew. It's uh five twelve in the morning, driving to work on my day off. If that tells you how my day is going, well, I don't know what else does. But anyway, I'm still a couple of parts behind on the podcast, and uh, it's ready dump and Nikki said that the cry of a newborn baby is called a magitice, which sounds like

a disease you get from a vagina. And yes, vegetice does sound like a disease, but you know it sounds more like a disease you'll get from your vagina, vegitis. I literally said veginas out loud and burst out laughing. So this pronunciation story with me myself and I in the car on the way to work this morning. So I thought it was pretty funny. So hopefully you don't get vegitis anytime soon. I love being a bestie of the pod and Jack in the Box. Jack in the box.

Maybe it is pronounced vegitis, like what a baby's cry is? You know, I didn't even I don't even remember. Like I love this guy. He speaks in a in a guy is me right now? Of like my tiredness goes from like manic and like so like like we could do anything to like so dead, like cut to that guy at hairedness is weird. I love his energy though, that guy, I want him to host a game show. He's fucking fantastic and wherever he's driving, Sorry, you have

to work on your day off. I'm sure when you get that call at five in them more like you probably get it at like what he does well that night? You're like, hey, can you cover for Jeff? He's uh, he went skydiving and never came back. He never came back. Yeah, he's on the floor forever. Yeah he got attacked by

a duck. He's sucking somehow, Oh got him? Um yeah, no, I mean I love how like you either can attack that in two different ways, like that guy upbeat and like maybe at two pm he's gonna want to kill himself. But yeah, that's like what I tell people when I look in the mirror and I like look disgusting or like have gain weight or like feel like now myself, I just having the attitude of like, well look at you today, glace, these pants are too tight and you

look a little bit masculine today. We'll go get him, Go get him. Yeah, Like it's just to have that kind of attitude and like just like yeah, make fun of it and have like a little bit of like pep in your it's a good practice instead of the I'm just like, well this is it. I think that's I think that's honestly, rally who's dealing with the guy stuff, maybe trying to look at it like as that vegetosis guy.

Just be like, hey, funk that dude, I got on match, happen again, happen again, connected with the guy and he fucking unmatches me. Well, well, par from the course, baby, let's keep on going and swipe it away. Like yeah, I think that's a good I mean, you could do both a little bit of both. I think I think one I I used to I'm not used to be there.

I ain't still am that guy where it's like, I'll you know, something serious will happen, and I'll be like, not take it in, kind of keep it on the surface, because if it gets into deep, your boy's gonna be sad. Yes, then you can also look at it and analytically and like be like, and should I be working at a job that is taking advantage of me and making me work on my day off at five in the morning,

and in my Oh yeah that's good. But you could even go even if you were, you could go, well, I'm surely getting taken advantage of sounds like Andrew needs to look for another job. We'll get to it when I can. But this is life and I have hands and I'm grateful. Yeah, man, I think that's uh. I

think the same with the weed girl. Like it all comes down to, like you can make really great adjustments and be serious about taking control of your life at the same time do it with a silliness in a in a way that won't be too shout out to anyone out there who's tired. Though I am so tired this week, and like, I don't know how people do it. This really makes me scared to ever have kids or ever have like I I am so grateful that I was able to cancel the podcast yesterday and like it.

I was just like, yeah, of course it's fine, and you were like so fine with it, like it's without that I would have I would have like ended up crying on the podcast. I was so tired and I was so just like I could not find a nap anywhere yesterday. It was like, but I know there's so many people out there that just that don't have those that that leniency in their life of people letting them like nap or just like, hey, I've got this, I

got the kids. You go in the next room. So if you're out there and you're tired, I want to hear from you how to funk do you do it? And um, I hope so badly that you can find rest and I'm gonna go get some I'm gonna sleep until two. I get two hours right now. Yes, I'm so excited. Thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast all week long. Sorry we didn't do yesterday.

I just needed a nap and I didn't even get one because I was just like anxious the whole time, having like fever dreams and I was gonna miss watching as live watch it tonight. Please watch our show this Sunday. We'll be back on Monday with a recap of the episodes that you watch. We'll talk all about it. So excited um, and we'll see you in Minneapolis and Madison

this weekend. Cannot wait. And if you go alone two shows, know that you buy a ticket going alone, you can just DM me in all caps going alone, with your full name and the show you're going to. If you're going to Madison, let me know which show earlier late and I will put you on the guest list to do the meet and greet and Dolbyka and Cha moves like Jaggers. Daggers