#203 Down MacDougal, Left On 3rd Street

some knowledge? You go down to sound effective knowledge? You go down now, you get your good crawfit down and speak. Everyone want to go down to plant quarter? You want to go down your whole set in that accent, just do that the whole time. Yeah, that almost sounds it's the same voice you use when there's up foul ball that goes flying. Oh no, no, no, no, no, to come now, one day it will come. One time I saw a foul ball go so high it actually came

and it was coming at me and everybody. It was such a high, like certain foul balls you don't try. It sounds like the beginning of like the movie Big Fish. One time I saw a foul ball goes so high. I know you've seen big Fish, but I think it's like a tall Tale movie. I love that you haven't seen. I have not seen. I remember seeing ads from big Fish and being like that looks magical, and people always be on Reddit. I love that last name cricket Um Credup is so hot. Oh my god, I told you

I saw him in the Hamptons in real life. He walked past my car. He looked like an old like. He looked like I'm like a ghost kind of yeah, like the woman that the guy in thin Net. He

looked more like just crid. So anyways, this fly ball went so high in the air that everyone like scattered because it was that high, except for one person went like this like you know when you like something's coming at you, so you just duck, you know, so you think you'll be fine, but I know, yeah, you just don't know where's gonna that's me catching any ball that comes at me. Go into the top of the head, top of the head. The one person dead he got credit?

Did he did he die? The boy didn't get right away. I don't know if you've ever seen like it was like it was like a cartoon or like a big bomb. Oh my god, yeah, I think yeah, you got he definitely. Um, but yeah, I'm excited for Texas. Excited um for Nashville as well. Yes, Rhyman Theater. They got the original seats in there. Actually, I don't know if you just tell people that, what do you mean they're like made out of the old wood that they did when the church.

You think people would like some germ freaks might be like, no, I'm not going there if you give the original seats uncomfortable splinters. Okay, yeah I gave. Um. I usually do a little talk before live shows about social anxiety and like if you have to pee, just go pee and all that stuff. Um, And I usually do it before I bring you up, no after yeah, before before you come out, Yes, before I bring you up. It's kind of like a little thing I come out before I

go out. Um, but you weren't there this past weekend, so I wasn't able to like do my little speech, so I just did it at the top of the show. And God does that set the stage for a like everyone just chills out. There's so much anxiety about going to show, Like that's that's not something I struggle with. But people have a big struggle with And it's one thing hearing it from the horses, not calling your horse, but that sounds like a horse cat from the horse's mouth,

the horse's mouth. Did you say horse or whore? He said horse. Let the listeners decide. Um, I'd rather be called a horror than a horse. I think I used that, joked one of the roast. I was like, oh, you know what they do with for girls, Like, I know what I'm gonna get tonight. You're gonna call me a horse horse face but to a horse face or something like that. Um. Yeah. But so drawing Carmichael where I think we talked a little bit. We haven't talked about

his special yet on here, but fantastic. I'm not going to you shouldn't. I haven't seen it yet. You know, he comes out, he does come out of the closet as a white man. Oh yeah, it's kind of crazy. Well he should be canceled because that isn't impressive. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,

it's pretty good. Uh. He has some of the funniest ten minutes on coming, like about being like from a place that isn't cool with people coming out like his family and how he it's so ingrained in him to not be acceptable except towards gay people, where he was like roasting himself for being gay. Like even when he's with his partner, he's like making out with the dude and he's like pause, like like he's blowing the guy. He's like no, homo like like like it's whole, like

like everything in his d whatever. So but at the beginning of his thing, he comes out and his whole, his whole first three minutes is how like, look, we're just friends for this to be great, let's just act as family. Like he gave a disclaimer kind of like what you did, and and it really does you feel it. You feel a difference in the room. It doesn't feel as much as like I'm talking at you, as like

we're like all together in the room. Yeah, And it's just like you just want people to become The only way a show is good is if people are comfortable like that you know what you're doing, that they're not going to be called out or embarrassed. That if because you are, that's it kind of gave me. It was like what no, that I think okay, So, like as a patron of calm many shows and not a comedian.

I think it lets the audience relax in a way because for the people who are there, who are your comedy fans, not necessarily the podcast um uh listeners, you're known and loved for your roast jokes. So they think that if they get up to the bathroom where if they have to walk out or something, it kind of puts a target on them and they might end up being roasted. I guess like in their mind, that's the

story that they tell themselves. So I think it does put them at ease because it's like, no, you can go to the bathroom. I'm cool with it. I hate like they would just happen. You're exactly right. It would happen after Meet and Greece when people be like, I do go the bathroom so bad and I'm like, why didn't you go? And they're like I just didn't want to enter up the show, and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I need to let people know I will not say

a damn thing. If you go to the bathroom. You could literally yell fire and run out and I'd be like, everyone's stay calm, ignore that woman, Like I just don't I'm never I do not go into the audience unless it's absolutely necessary and someone's like really causing a disturbance. I just would never do that to someone so hard, Yeah, because then the second side gets into the bathroom and

it goes, where are you going to? You know, because I say, if you go to the bathroom as a woman, I'm not gonna be like, look at this lady going to Jake Ship. Like that's what a lot of comics do. It's so annoying. And so people like really have bladder disorders because of comedy shows where they're just so scared of being called out. I mean I used to have that kind of anxiety too, of just like I just don't want to be seen. I don't want to be

picked on. I don't and you're watching someone do something if you have a little bit of stage right, that seems so it almost just like watching when I watch a circus act or like I won't go see circulate. Like I was just in Vegas and I had a night off and I was looking up tickets to Love the Battle Show and I won't go see it because I don't like seeing people do things that if I

did it, I would die. Oh so like people on stage. Yeah, And the thing is I'm a professional, so maybe you could watch me and be like, oh my god, I could never do that. That makes me so scared. It doesn't change the fact that they know I'm a professional unless I'm just like making them so sure that nothing's going to happen like that. But search so they cannot

do that for me. There's no way because I'm like, but you could slip, like there's something that could happen, So I can take that because I was considered my act like they're watching like circus in terms of like, I can't even enjoy this because it's so that is such my nightmare if I'm scared of heights, because so many people's nightmare is doing exactly what we do and talking into a microphone with nothing else to help you. But isn't that that's the words that are coming out

of your mouth? But the thrill of circus? What did I call circus circus? Um? It's a chocolate sauce. You don't know if they're gonna fall and die, right, So the idea of you going anyone like I'm just saying, that's what like stand up for, especially with people that they don't know is good or not. They want to see maybe they will fail, like people like to fail. I'm offended by everything you just said, mostly because you said they don't know if they is good or not. Yeah,

I failed that sentence. But how fun was that? What if I told you what was going to be bad? You know what I would say to people who enjoy watching stand up because they like watching people bomb or they want to see someone like uncomfortable. You are sick person. You truly you have a problem. I mean even people who like to go to UM. I hate air shows. I hate diving board things. I hate things that are like you're you're risking your life so much like drag racing or any kind of I have a story in

the news about this. By the way, my Formula one. My boyfriends so into Formula one and I just got kind of an offer to do a shoot adjacent to a Formula one thing, and he's like, maybe we could go to the right, like see if maybe the we could because it's like shooting around like with the theme of it as Formula one and it's happening like a race weekend and I haven't said yes to it yet. But I'm I sent it to him being like, would

you want to come to this with me? Because he's huge into Formula one and I'm terrified to go to a Formula one thing. I don't like fast, loud things, and I don't like things that the margin of error is so small that they could careen into the crowd and I probably will get really good seats and die. Yeah, you're sure, you know, I just don't. I don't like that stuff, and it's just I don't understand people who do.

I don't. It makes me feel really und not close to my fellow man because I just don't get why anywhere are you gonna go? Yeah? Because I love him and it means if we get to you know, I'm still waiting to hear back, but if we do get tickets, I'll go because I know it means so much to him, and it would be like me going He's not gonna die potentially die at Taylor Swift concert. What is the

last game that you experience where someone could die? Like, have you actually been in the stands for something like that? My parents used to go bring me to air shows as a kid, or like um circuses where the motorcycles are in that cage and I would have a panic. I'm not kidding you. I I can't even think about it,

like I just I hate it so much. I hate things that are very fast in tandem next to each other, where if you literally go like this with the steering wheel, it's it's it's a humong Even horse races where like a horse just kind of trips boom. Bike races tour to France when they're also close. There's That's my phobia, is things going fast close to each other. One thing going fast on its own in a desert somewhere. Fine, I don't give a fuck, but together, fast speed skating,

anything like that. No, no, no, I don't like it. I'm just trying to think how you could conquer this fear. I don't want to. She's going to face it with her boyfriend, and that's how you're gonna. I really have to get into this, because we're going to be a Formula one family. Like he wants to get into Formula he loves. He's trying to. I'm trying to get into it. I'm gonna I'm gonna try to get for it. You could buy a car. I'm gonna let me have my own car. You should and you should have a baby

Formula one. It's gonna be the Starbucks car. It should be Formula I'm four. It's just so funny, like a little baby car. No, dude, it's it's uh no, but you could get into I'm sure in St. Louis if you did a Google, Um, you know where do Rednecks hang out? There's like, uh, Formula one is not Rednecks. No, no, no, no no, but the pre pre pre yea. Yeah, that

kind of ship where you get like Grand Prix. Yeah, you get like trucks, that fucking monster truck like he brought his my boyfriend brought his nephews to this, like you know that like this Sunday Sutnday, Suturday, everyone's drawn. Like do you know those weird ads where the guy stocks like this and then a ghost what. I hated

those ads as a kid. I would even during like when I was watching to stay by the bell and they would like advertise those those trucks just going like boom and like falling in the arena and all this dirt digger. I hate thunders. What if it's something you like, it's wrong with people that they like to see people almost die. If you what's wrong with me that I love molestation documentaries and sex documentaries because they're slow. But

you know what the thing is, they're slow, they groom slowly. Yeah, there's no jump scares and a pedophile doc there aren't. You never see a molester in a formula one one only one person can sit in it. It's kind of true, though, I'm not kidding you. I like you, you don't mind a white van that's real slow. Because I really have to think about why I like pedophile documentaries. I really have to. I'm fascinated by pedophiles. I'm fascinated by people

like I want to hear all about the stories. I don't. I'm never like listening to the stories, being like I know that this doesn't it's or scratch some it's for me that is like a it's not a leisurable thing. It's definitely that same thing of like discussed, like that morbid curiosity. But the thing is, I put a thing out on my Instagram story the other night about like, if you have a sex crime documentary, please send it to me, Like I can't get enough of this stuff.

And I had a bunch of people right to me, being like, I like this stuff too, and I'm ashamed that I like it because I go, I like this over murder docs and I'm let listen, a lot of murder docks have sex crimes associated with them too. But I like talks about pedophiles and how they work. I like learning how these things. What I think it is blink like like, um, like, what I'm gonna do? Is I am too passionate about this. I need my knowledge.

I have so much more knowledge than most people have about pedophiles because parents that have kids are like, no, no, no, no no, no, I don't want to hear about it. Oh that's so gross. And it's like, why do you want I don't even have you should want to hear about this, Like why are people know it's scared? Think I get it because you think of your kids and you go, it's not gonna happen to my kids. I protect them. No, I think it's you don't know. I

think it's the opposite. I think it's it's like the other day when you send me that joke and have a rapists in it and changing it to murder actually makes it more palatable. Even though murders some would argue worse than rape. Some would argue murder, which is a fine documentary to talk about that women can go. I love murder docs and no one goes, you're a murderer. But when I say, like, pedophile docs are like you're because more people get molested and murdered, like or like

it happens, like it way more. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So that's why I think it feels more awkward to be like, I'm really into this thing that actually happens. Know that. The problem is the thing is people don't know what happens a lot. Everyone's in denial of it. If you knew the stats, which I'm not gonna, you know, go into, but if you knew the stats, it is so alarming how much more it happens. And the problem is people don't talk about it because it involves sex

and it's the worst thing ever. It's children and sex, and you don't combine the things, and we don't talk about it. And the thing is parents need to know because parents think that they don't. Should we start a morbid documentary podcast about its phile? Honestly, I need to educate the public about this and it's the only way

to defeat these guys. Because Chris and I, my boyfriend, I were just talking last night we go because I was telling him all the stuff I learned from the Jimmy Seville documentary that I watched on Netflix about the Mr Rogers of Great Britain who ended up being like a prolific pedophile like the Bill Cosby this guy you would have I know, That's what I'm saying. So I don't understand the UK has taste and entertainers at all after watching this guy that There's nothing charming about this guy,

nothing funny. He was not even good. I don't get it. Someone tried to explain it. I wrote to Robin my hair and make up a friend and I go, what what was it about this He's not charming, He's just a creep. And yet they when he died it was like a member of the royal family died. In fact, he was knighted, which is a big deal. The royal families are creat Yes, anything, God forbid you say that Brits don't. All right, let's take a break and come

back with more show. We'll talk about freaking Harry Harry and we're back. Um, so what about Harry. I don't want to get into it. I just got a phone call in between the break that said shut the funk up or else or else, and then a little laser uh dot put was on your forehead. It's yeah, but I'm cool now. I love the Royal family. Good people, real good people, strong character. No, but Chris and I were on the phone last night talking at length about what do we do? What do we do to stop

these people? Because there what's what do you do? And I said, it's about education. It's about making kids. Okay with saying I don't like being around my uncle, he gives me a weird vibe. Because the thing is, it starts with a just a touch that just feels a little too long. It starts with a creepiness that you feel long before the molester even does anything. Kids can feel it right away, and you need they need. Don't let your don't make your kids hug people they don't

want to hug, no matter what you think. Don't ever force your kids to do anything or be alone with someone if they don't want to. UM. And also it's about educating kids about like, if you ever feel weird, around an adult. Let me know. It's literally a vibe. Kids get a vibe right away. And if there is a person in you of child molestations happen, the perpetrator is someone that the family knows and trust, so you always think it's going to be a stranger. The word

there is trust. The family already trust this person. So whoever you think in your life you trust the person that would molest your kids, you would not expect it. So that needs to be sunken in. Is that you goes back to the book we were reading that we got besties to read um talking to strangers. We don't know people like we think we do. And the people we do know we think we know so well, but

really people are strangers to us. And these people always start with they do They never just go right to molesting. It starts with they are so slow, Like you said, maybe that's why I like it. There's always there's a beginning and and and because Christmas like so do we just we just have to let them molest? And then the kids tell us And then I go, no, no, no, it doesn't need to get to that. It needs to get to mom. I don't like that guy. Mom, I feel that guy's a weirdough just being able to say

that about an adult. Arlo doesn't like to hug me sometimes he's just not in the mood. And my sister will go, you hug your in it, and I go no, no, no, no, he doesn't. He doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do ever physically with an adult, even though I know I'm not. Yeah, I go no, no, no, I don't want it. I'm creeped out by that kid. Yeah,

you don't know what I'm into. This reverse the pedophilia, like no one's talking about that is that the kids are coming at uncles that are molested by their nephews. They're good friends before. Well, it's just if I were an adult, I would never make my child, even if it was their grandmother, hugged their grandmother, because it sets a precedent that you do things you don't want to

do physically human touch wise with another adult. And it's that's a precedent that when something inappropriate happens with someone that isn't Grandma who we know and trust, maybe I should say quiet about it and just do it and suck it up. And no, you gotta just sucks because like, one of my best childhood memories and it sounds it's being forced to go down in your uncle my second favorite. So funny if you're like seriously though, one of my

favorite memories was being groomed. And this is gonna sound like that. I'm coming out again. So I know my grandpa would give me backrubs when I was a kid. Didn't make you uncomfortable, not at all. I'm fine, I know that, But I'm saying that's what's so sad about this is that there's something weird about that. If you felt uncomfortable, it would be weird. It was my favorite thing. Well, that's not that that was I'm not saying that I think.

I'm not saying that. It's I'm just saying that, like people could through this, what we we're trying to mine is about listening to the children. It's not about looking with your own eyes. It's about knowing when your kid is uncomfortable and letting them say something. You if I saw my little boy getting rubbs backrubs from his grandpa, let's say it's the dad of my husband. So it's not a dad that I've been around as a little kid.

So I know he's safe. My dad he could rub kids back and I would be like, oh, that's fine, that's what you think. Well, I know he'sn't a little girls, not a little boy. So um, I uh, I would if you read the kid, it's not about you being an adult reading adults, because adults will trick you do. Not rely on that spidy sense about adults. Look at your kid because kids know and kids tell the truth,

and they always know. I've heard so many stories about mosticians and the kids are the kids know what's what's happening is not good, and they just feel so scared to tell an adult. And you need to let your kids know. These people are gonna say that you're gonna We're gonna they're gonna murder mommy and daddy if you tell, they're gonna say and they're all lies. So if someone says the stuff, you need to tell them what what they're gonna hear so they get ahead of it. Let's

get to the news. That's my little Uh. This this helps. I'm not I'm not arguing it. This helps. I hope Grandpa is cool. Oh man, it's Wednesday, folks, you know what that means. It is Wednesday. I hope you're having all the swells out there. We're coming to Texas, Austin, Dallas, Houstons. I mean that's all San Antonio. We're not going to We're not going there. You're not going to play. No. Yeah, can you name another Texas down Umbilene. What are your

thoughts on Austin? Um? Um Texas? Yes, um, sorry, ham trap private private. Um, it's I uh, Austin the city. I um My thoughts are I don't It's kind of like a Bourbon Street type thing. I like, don't drink. But I also I think it's just um. I always described you know how they always say there's a garbage patch in this in in the ocean. That's the size of Texas. I a would say that Austin is like that garbage patches, like reusable tote bags of the garbage patch.

It's like, you know, it's like this part of the garbage pats it's like liberal, you know, they're like they're they're a little It's like St. Louis and Missouri, you know what I mean, Like it's different than what you think of the rest of the state. As it's two hyped up though I always feel like people high up Austin. Like, once I get to Austin, my life will be good. Like it's like one of those kind of places. I feel like it's top five wherever you go. Okay, where

would you imagine? Food trucks, That's what I meant, food trucks, music, Honky tonks. Wait, that's Nashville ship. It's the same. I know. I've always had good show. I think of Tobo Chico. That's the first place I had too, Chico. Oh yeah, so I'll have a bucket of those backstage. I'm excited. Two shows. Yeah, so we're gonna be there. Paramount fear alright,

news story, Noah. If you feel alone and afraid, warm up your hands because the study suggests that physical warmth has the same lasting effect as the presence of a social support provider, and physical warmth inhibits fear learning and response. My grandpa's hands. So warm up your hands and then touch yourself or just like warm yourself. Remember he did you? Remember? I never saw it. They say that warmth has the

same um effect as like a social support. So that's why, like we always gravitates to like something warm if we're sick or if we're afraid of something. Yeah, and it's like almost like you know, it's the way we describe people who we want to be around. They're warm, she's cold. This is not even a temperature thing that makes sense, you know. Girls often asked, like a lot of guys put their hands in their own pants because our balls

are so warm and it warms up our head. I always put my hands in mind it's coming to get inside your own flames. Well, I just do it between my lighte or just go like this. You don't need to do your balls. You can just do it between your thighs. That's where our balls are that I forgot that those dangle down. But this all makes sense. So

many guys will watch. Even when you're with your brother, with your brother, with your brother, with your brothers, you will all just look over and there'll be six guys on accouch with their hands on their own dick. It's weird. And if there's something comforting about I mean, I like holding dicks, like when I like I'm falling. Yeah, it's

like it's like one of those slurpies. I don't know, it just feels like it almost feels like I'm holding their hand but it's not as like sometimes when I'm holding like my boyfriend's hand in bed, like I feel like he's probably just waiting until he can like let go of it. But as penis, like, I feel like I can just hold that for forever. It's not gonna it just doesn't. It feels so it just feels like

like like just I'm holding onto something. I don't do it all the time, but I like the feeling of it. You got him buy the balls, No, I like that. But as a guy, I just think, like, you know, there's when you're flexed, you don't want people down there. It's not yeah, but there's a different kind of flaccid. We've talked about this before, but like a true flaccid almost in your body penis. You don't want your girlfriend using as a supporting hand point. You just don't. It's

just not comfortable. As a guy, you wanted you still wanted to be presentable. Man, I love the a c in my room so much. I sleep so cold, sixty degrees sixty. I wake up in the morning and is so fucking cold. I love it so much. I'm just like if I, if I, if I would have taken your room I would be in hell because you don't get they did, just you cannot keep it as cold as I would want it to be. It's just so awesome.

I never want to move from this part. But it's the coldest room I've ever been able to get anywhere. It's actually annoying because I live in the one bedroom and whatever. No one cares about this, but the living room. For some reason, how it's set up and same here too, it just feels more open and the air feels colder outside the bed. Maybe because you like a warm bedroom. Yeah, I like a sixty nine. Now it's so hot. Yeah. And are you wearing like long pants and like bundled

up you know? Oh yeah, you're waiting to pooing? Yeah, all right, let's go to the next story. All right, next story. I have to show you something air show. Okay, no Sebastian student or now. I don't think this happened recently, but I just saw this in my feed. Recently. A German pro surfer rode a wave said to be over a hundred feet tall at Nazari, Portugal, which is the world's biggest wave of the season. And I wanted to show this to you. You do well. I know I've

seen documentaries on it. You know, I'm a surfer. Oh my god, I mean it looks insane. It looks like you're looking at you can't even tell the way the wave takes up the whole screen, so you don't even see the top of the wave. It looks like the sky, and from where I'm seeing it just looks like a jet flying across the sky leaving Camp Trails. Wave is so huge. Um did he die? No, he survived and he set a world record. Dude, my dad's cousin is one of the first people to ever do giants. Giants. Yeah,

he started because he did it. First of all, there's great white sharks out there. It's a fucking like mile pop paddle wave. I understand that, but they're dead. They're dead if they there's jet skis there, there's like I'm my uncle, my dad's cousin, Mark Runnecker. If you look him up, Mark Ronnicker, he is up one of the first big wave surfers ever. Mark fuh is a famous guy that died. He was really good friends with Mark. But um, yeah, my my dad's cousin isn't like all

these books. He was interviewed on sixty Minutes by Ed Bradley about surfing giants, like he's in documentaries and stuff like that, but it's it's a wild The reason why this is crazying. I just don't get why you would do that. The reason why this area is crazy. It's so close to shore that you can see how big waves are. Mavericks is like a mile Like I didn't know that Mavericks is like out out. So that's why your uncle is such a badass, because he had to

paddle out a leash. They they he was really again, I remember when they started using jet skis to pull them out. He was that ship. That's plus ship. Yeah, he used to paddle out. Yeah. I thought this was interesting though, because um in an interview they asked him how do you prepare mentally to take on some of the biggest and most dangerous waves in the world, and he said, for me, the mental preparation and readiness comes through physical preparation. The team has to be the right team.

People must be on the same page, and you have to be able to trust your jet ski drivers and safety team or you just put your hands on your own balls. Solo could be a team effort. Is that what you're saying was, well, yeah, so it's it's interesting that he has to have like the right team around him. And I was thinking of what you were saying when you're on tour and how important it is for you to have like your friends and setting up the right kind of yes vibe so that you go into these

things feeling as good as possible. Well, my dad always quotes this, uh will Lenda guy. He used to be a tight rope walker back in the days and he would do these you know. Yeah, there's like a Lenda family and the father died plummeted to his death doing one of these ty wrote walks, and his wife said that the only time she has ever heard him say like, I'm nervous about this one was the one he died on, and she had never seen him have any kind of

nerves or second guessing before that. Not to say that like that's what did it, but or that maybe he knew. But you know, it's just a lesson about just believe in yourself kind of thing and have this like unshakable confidence. But I don't understand doing something that it goes back to, I mean, that's a very slow death defining thing. Well, Chris, no, it's not as fast you've fallen in your Yeah, he

fall very fast. But Chris, when we were watching and that's if you guys seen sixteen Peaks whatever, sixteen new one by Johnny Hughes, a mountaineering teenager and stereotypes amazing character. Um, what do you mean? Have you ever seen that movie candles? Fourteen peeks? Oh? Yeah, well fourteen Peaks. Did you see it? Yes? The beliefs guy, I saw some of it. I was

in and out. I was watching it with Chris and there's a part that's like K two you know, people who attempt K two one and four mountaineers who attempted die. And Chris was going like the whole movie is like God, I would love to do this ship. And I'm just like kind of biting my tongue, being like, okay, please stop saying that, because I love you and I don't want. But like there's and then when they said that thing, I go, would you do that one? Would you do

that one? And he's like yeah, and I go one and four die? You would do that one? If one and four those are the odds? He was like, I was that mad I was like, what are you talking about? Why would you ever do something where one in four people die from doing it? That is just so stupid to me. It makes me you ever even climb the mountain? I'm just saying, like to go from that to like, well, like he he would work up to that, he's not gonna go do that tomorrow after it hips the Castlewood.

I mean this is he just says that it would be something he'd want to do in his lifetime. That it made me so mad that you're not allowed to if you if I And he goes, but if I died doing it, like I would die doing what I love And I go, I go, but you care so much about being there for others in your life, like he goes, I don't care if I die that way, that would be the greatest way to go out. And I'm like, but what about me? Like I care, Like

isn't there something to living for others? And I gotta I would love to interview the guy that dies on K two and it's like pretty stoked about how you're dying right now, and they'll be like, like freezing to death, Like it's not a cool way to die you either. I think it's suicidal, to be honest with you, I think it's just people that like to do that stuff are suicidal. Have you ever seen that Alex home in a different way than most people climbs No, no, no leash,

no fucking wire not just I don't get it. Why would you? Can you try to help me understand, like really quickly, why someone would want to do something where guaranteed one and four die? Would you do that? I understand skydiving, You're asking the wrong person. You should ask someone who would be inclined to do it. You know what you're kind of death are? You know? Obviously does like kind of like ice climbing ship? Probably? Yeah? But does that make you mad when you're like, I'm gonna

marry you, motherfucker. You better not be climbing fourteen ers. Next time you get in a fight, just send him a plane ticket. I just get anxiety because I keep thinking like I have to be there and I have to do like also do it, and then he just reassures me like, no, this is something I'll do with my friends. I don't know why it bugs me, because first of all, I want my boyfriend to be alive, and especially if I'm look towards having a life with

this person growing old. I mean, that's the goal, and you're jeopardizing that goal because you want to like take a picture on a fucking mountain and like sit on the mountain, breathe in the air. Like I think his argument. I think his argument would be, or these people's arguments that go, well, if I can accomplish this, I'll feel so good about myself. I'll be a better husband. Do

you I know? But I'm not saying that. I want to be honestly, if if he wouldn't give up that, if he that was his goal, I'd say, then you need to be with someone. I just think you gotta started a smaller mountain started. Why are we going one out of four? I've been suicidal before, and people go, how could you be suicidal? And I'm like, because I'm depressed and I hate life. But if you're someone who likes life, why would you do something where there's chance

you're going to die? Because on the other side of it is glory that you get to be like I survived this thing. Why would you take that risk if you didn't enjoy life? Really? Because I don't think you can enjoy life without doing it. I guess I just don't. I wish again. It just makes me like I don't like that I can't understand it, and I think I just need to. I need to understand it. I mean, I can't relate it to anything in my life where I'm like, there's nothing. Dragon wings at six Flags, Okay,

how many of people have died? Zero? But it was so scary? What about chicken wings at Hooters? Okay, we gotta take it, freak, let's do Why do I care? Why do I care? Okay? Kim Kardashian comments on Pete Davidson's b D E while talking about their first kiss. Oh my god. She said it was a stage kiss, but it was still a little zing. It wasn't anything like super crazy. I was like, wow, I really haven't kissed anyone else in ten years, so maybe I'm just

being stupid. It's just nothing. And then a few days later I was like, hmm, there is some b D action. But the reason why I brought the story up is because I wanted to know if you guys remember your first kisses. And for Nikki, I guess this would be the seventh first kiss with Chris oh, like the first kisses with a person that you're with. Yeah, yeah, no, no, with your partners. Real quick, I just want to say that I loved their first kiss because it was when

they were playing the Aladdin sketch. We've all seen like the still image of it. He for like their anniversary, her birthday or something got her the rug and the Genie lamp in the costumes from their first kiss, and I thought that was, like, I think that's just so sweet, like someone remembering like that first kiss. Time. Um, you know what this tells me? What it tells me. Not many people will have access to Kim Kardashian, you know

what I mean? Like that's all this is access, Pete Davidson, Well, Brenna slid into your d M s and she wouldn't have known about it had she not listen to you on a podcast, Like everything is chance. I get, I get all that, but I'm just saying that, like, oh, you know, like I haven't kissed anyone in ten years. How many guys are even in the circle that can kiss Kim Kardashian. You have to get it ridden into a sketch. It's absolutely she left her husband for one

for the first guy. She guess she didn't leave. I know, but my point, I guess. And my first kiss with with Brenna was actually fantastic. Do where were you first day? And um where was it? The car? It was her getting into her car. We oh my god, we might have kissed before we I think we packed before that, but then it was the kids, before the car and before getting packed, before your first like, why would you peck because it always comes at the end of the day,

you know what I'm saying. I know it came in the middle of the date. I think I'm almost positive. But yeah, we definitely grabbed each other's asses during the date, which was so hot to just get that out of just like doing it as a bit ust. It was. It was bit ish. It wasn't like fucking we can't even stop ourselves from our romance. But I don't know. She was wearing a little dress and her ass was fucking looking great, and but she must have done something that led you to go, Okay, I can touch this

person's ass. You don't just do that. Yeah, that's true. I don't. I can't remember. I guarantee you I know what it was. It was probably like you said, something about like butt and then you're like, I got pretty good when she goes, oh really, and then you're like, yeah, you can feel it if you want, and then she probably didn't you go, you go, I want to feel yours and then she probably was like, go for it, and then stuck out her button. Then you felt it.

I think that's exactly what happened. I mean, I'm not joking you. I know, I know that's what happened. I know how you work. I know I would like artiness works. Yeah, like that's the only way that could happen before a kiss. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, is you going? You you

conduct it if you want to feel it. And then you flexed and she was like okay, and then yeah, and then you made it and she goes you can if you want, and you go, oh my god, and she bent over and you're like, this girl's cool, and then you did it. Yeah. I think that's exactly what happened. Yeah. Do you remember you? Yeah? Yeah, my first yeah, first kiss. Oh is the best kiss of my life. The first first one was U was the first time that I um said, you know, I'm not going to be the

first one to do it. I'm gonna wait. I would have kissed. I would if I was sixth Avenue. It was um the comedy, you know. We had hung out a little bit, but one night, one day before then, and I would have probably my old ways would have been like can we just make out like I always did that bit, you know, and then it would break the tension and we would kiss, and then the guy would eventually not like me because I took control of

the situation. Even though he was like, that's awesome that you said that, it would never work out in the end. So this time I was like, I'm not going to make the first move. I'm changing my ways. And we hung out and he didn't make a move, and I was just like so sad, and then um, I had given up on him. And then I was doing a set one night and I was just like, you know what, I'm going to throw out one more chance, and I was like going to the convert at eleven o'clock on

a school night. We both worked on Nikki's Air Live and it was the next day and he lived in Queens in green Point and Brooklyn, and so I was like I was in the city and I was like, hey, any chance you're in the city and he was like it was ten thirty and he was like, or maybe it was like nine thirty ango. He said no, um why and I said, oh, well, I have a set at the Cellar tonight at eleven and I'm headed there now.

And I thought, if you were in the city, it would be cool if you dropped by, and he was like, I'll be there, and I was like, oh my god. I remember going running out of my room to Onion being like he's coming. Oh my god, this is happening. And I was just like he's like, this guy is putting an effort. He's gonna come to the city on a school night to hang out with me late at night. I'm going. I was just like so excited, like suddenly this thing. I had had a crush on him for

like two months at that point. Every day see him at work, just like falling on the floor like I love it. And I was so excited. And then he shows up and we are just like at this table, like awkwardly, like just sipping Seltzers, and I go down and do my set and I'm like, please don't come down and watch me, because I knew that that was just like not gonna give me. I was just just

too nervous. And then I came back upstairs and he was like made best friends with the table next to us of this like table like fun ladies, like middle aged ladies that were out, and he was they were just like we love him. And I was just like, oh my god, like he's sitting with these ladies. And then he comes back to my table. Already. Lang comes in and I had just done his like show, and he was like, hey, Nikki and like came come up

and gave me a hug. And Chris is a huge dirty work fan, huge, and so he was like I cannot believe already, Lang, your friend's dirty l So it was like kind of like a good and then and then it was just so late. It was like two am.

The place starts almost like closing, and I guess the point where we're just like okay, and so we're walking out and I'm just like I don't know what to do, Like I know that I want to kiss this guy, and like it's he's he's hung out long enough, I know he likes me, he knows I like, and it's it's I'm terrible at flirting, so I'm sure that was giving him nothing. But then we walk, you know, we walked down with double We take a left on you know,

we take a left whatever, it doesn't matter. We take a left on fourth Street, third Street, and then we get to sixth. We get down to sixth Avenue and sixth Avenues goes uptown and I was going to grab a cab to go uptown and it was also the train entrance for him. Now, Billy Joel, okay, did you

go on a bridge over trable water or now? And then uh So I'm just like waiting and I'm like, NICKI do not fucking say anything because I wanted to break the tensions so bad because we're just kind of like on the corner like okay, well, and I just like kind of like I'm looking down, I like look up at him, and he just goes get over here, and he just like grabbed my wrist and just like pulled me over and we just like made out and it was it was the best and I was just

so glad, like great, we kissed, it's over, like end of the night, like I could just go home. Success. And he was like, do you want to come over? And I was like, no, tomorrow, and I was like taxi. He said he could not believe how fast it happened between like kissing me, going no, yeah right, TAXI pulls up, I get inside it and I waved goodbye, and I'm like, yeah, I got it, you know, and that was it. I like that you didn't let him go home. No, I would never have, as I was like, I was such

a I'm such a prude. I would have never done that. Initially, I was very like I just wanted to kiss him, and I was so glad that I still liked him after we kissed, because that for me, it always as soon as I knew a guy liked me, I would always not like them anymore. Um. But I was still very like, just like so into it. I was so excited, and I was like scared of like penis, Like I still was like, oh, I don't know what that's gonna be, and I don't know if I'm good at stuff and

you know, all that fraught stuff. So let's get a final thought. Do you think you meet it's probably a good like uh, a good venue to meet someone at, like the seller, like it gives you a sense of value, right because it's something you do, you're gonna you're gonna

look cooler at like that stuff for a man. For me, I didn't do it as I just was like, this is a place I'm where I It was just a place to go, and it was a thing that I could make it seem like if he didn't like me at least, it's just I'm inviting a friend to come to this thing. It wasn't me being like, look how cool I am at all, because first of all that the women don't do that. Men think that way. Women. It doesn't work for us to be like, look how much value I have? We don't. We just know we

may try that in the beginning. We see you do it, and we know it works on us, so we go, maybe it'll work for me in a way with already being there like it didn't. That didn't affect him liking me. It was like cool moment I was like, oh maybe I have some class. It didn't. He doesn't give a funk like that. That was just where he was like, oh that's cool, but it wasn't didn't make him want he's kind of in that world. Yeah, he kind of

in that world. Anyway. He agreed more sexually attracted to me, whereas women definitely get more sexually attracted to someone who seems to have like famous from What was it like though, being on stage and performing in front of him? Was that like the first time you did in front of him down he didn't go downstairs to watch me, so, um, I actually had him not watched me for like it was like six months he never saw me do stand up.

I forget the first time he saw me, but I was really nervous and um, and now it's my favorite thing to perform when he's watching, because um, I just know like he is he's he's not, it's a it's another thing again of like I don't think it gives He's not more like corny for me. Afterwards, he's just like I can't believe how good he's just like proud of me, like almost the way like a family member or a friend would be of like you're so good,

Like he's just a fan in that way. But it's not like, um, it doesn't contribute to our romantic relationship. How does the field perform in front of Brenna when the crowd is tired before they really get in? Did they when they're light laugh. We talked about that, right, Yeah, they were quiet crowd, That's what she said to me. They were quiet. Oh my god, Chris is seeing me bomb so much? But this is the thing. And I thought, God, I would admit that I I didn't bomb, but it

felt kind of like a bomb. Especially I didn't feel like they were quiet audience until I heard her. Yeah, And it was just it was funny. I I really did enjoy it, but it was circumstantial. Yeah, how does it feel performing it? I like it like I could. It was funny on one of the jokes, it's like a delayed kind of laugh. You know, it's a thinker. Which one is your delayed laugh joke? I want to know. I just want to know. It's the end of the dog Walker story. How does tell me? But I made

more money that joke? Okay, yeah, yeah, I got it. So it usually takes a second. It took this crowd. I'm not kidding. It's so weird when I'm not saying I must no comedi, I'm not Dmitri Martin up here. No one ever would would think that. I mean everyone probably think, no, I know what you're saying. Though it took I'm not kidding long enough where I almost just I almost started going almost good night. No, it was

my closer. Oh my god, so I almost get went all right and just ended on the and I gave it, and I heard Brenda laughing in between the She would

have probably been on this. There's something you did that night that Because St. Louis is not a dumb audience, they tend to get stuff like I've performed with them enough and I know where some audiences are a little bit slow to like just you know, jokes that are a little bit more under the radar, and you gotta gotta listen like Kevin Neil and his stuff for it, like you got to be listening to get it. St. Louis isn't like that. I'm thinking you must have done

something that made it a little bit more. It needed more, they needed more time with it. But Brendon knows the joke, so her laughing allowed me to pause just long enough for a hit. Yes, and it hit hard, really hard, because they're proud of themselves once they get it, the more work they put into it, it's a thing of like, oh wait, we can say it's like the edge thing.

You don't you guys can't handle this. And then when they when they work for and go, no, we can, they put in work and so they're gonna like it all the more. And when an audience feels proud of themselves for getting something that's like they feel smart, they laugh so much harder. That's why you always when you do a joke where it's very niche and only like three people will get the reference, people laugh super Those three people laugh super hard because they want you to

know I got it, I'm smart. I do the same thing I've I've done that too, you comedians where I'm like, I need them to know that I got that because I'm on the same wavelength and I'm smart. Mark Marrit like, I know a word you chose Gary Goldman, Yes, yes, but I know that Gary is not impressed by like pseudo intellectuals, so I would never try to even I know he's so smart that he knows I'm dumb, so I wouldn't even try to convince him that I get it. If that Yeah, it's like your word choice, man, you

could have win with a different word. Oh my god, I know, man, Yeah, I know, but anyhow, Yeah, I saw Dmitri Martin perform at the West Pond Beatim probably fifteen years ago. My favorites of all time. But like I would say, the crowd didn't seem like the smartest crowd. I would say of the crowd would laugh just so they didn't No one knew they were dumb, like I

honestly could. Like I remember looking at tables, going, you didn't really get that, You're just looking around, and then laughing because I'm trying to think of one of his jokes and I can't recall any of them. But so good, Okay, that's arched over today. We have another so tomorrow that we're about to record. I can't wait for it. Um, we'll see you then, don't be n that's why we haven't tried