#179 Snake On A Leash

Usually we have very different climates. Who do you think? Who do you think is closer to a cactus right now? If I had to do a walk off, yeah, I would say Noah is because she's Yeah, because I'm in a resort, and I think they keep cacti out of this resort. I think mostly palms and in different ferns. God, I feel like cactuses, Like it's like the porcupine of trees. Like I'm just kidding, because because how do I explain that. I know this is very esoteric, but I want to

try to understand what. Um, No, it just sucks to be a tree or a porcupine or a skunk or whatever like no, no, that's why they have it. They like to be left alone. It's not like, um, it's not like they feel like innately unlovable and so they have this defense up like humans have where without being they just gotta fun just dick to pussy. They can't. They can't doggie only, don't occupine. Yeah, there's something. I mean, there's a porcupines do umliferate? Is that the word they procreate?

So they figured it out, whatever it is. I don't think they're and cacti. I love cacti. There's I mean, they just look so cool and like ready to party. Maybe it's just because there's always I always know animatronic cacti with sunglasses on, like dancing like this. You know how I'm dancing right now if you're not watching the video. Um, yeah, cacti are are awesome. And what happened to why did succulents become like the new cacti of like cacti a

type of succulent don't look that up. I don't care. But in terms of like low maintenance, yeah, it's the I bought one the other day. The uh, what's it called everyone gets it now because you only have to put water in it like once every three weeks. Fake a fake tree. Yeah, plants because they well, first of all, they're made of plastic, so I guess that's bad um, but they they do last forever. And it's just there's something so sad about a snake plant. I've never even

heard of that maybe I don't have it wrong. I'm so jealous, I will say jealous, and I know I shouldn't be, but I'm really envious of people who wait, what's the best between jealousy and then I forget what is Like? It's like, for sure, it's like the porcupine, Um, no jealousy. There's a difference one has, like you know, the difference between sarcasm and facetiousness. One I can pronounce a little better. You are killing it today. No facetious

I know is sarcasm without the meanness. Sarcasm is like, oh, like I'm trying to make you feel bad, So like, oh, really, what I just did about the porcupines and cacti that was sarcastic and faious. It though I would say it's it's definitely out of love, but it just is it's there to prove to make a point that you some people hate sarcasm, like they don't like people being funny in conversation. It's very regional. I found there are some places you go to and everyone is sarcastic. Where did

I go where everyone? I mean, Long Island is all sarcasm? English people are all sarcastic. It's very it's a very dry sense of humor because there's no like break in and I like, I'm just kidding, like some people just hold the sarcasm and then that's all that they give you, and you wonder, is this even? There was somewhere I went where sarcasm was so sick. I it happened multiple times where I just took I was very gullible, which isn't in the dictionary, and I really did believe the

person I felt so stupid. I'm I am very gullible when it comes to people's sarcasm. I just and they feel like you can get ship like accomplished within a real conversation. And if it's only sarcasm, sarcasm is it's it's kind of like the the PhD of dad jokes, you know what I mean. It's like a little it's like a dad joke with a fucking one of those graduation caps on it, Like it's a little bit more

sophisticated dad joke. But it's very it's a very simple thing to do, and it's corny and it's easy comedy. So when people on you know, Tinder, all those when I was swiping before, they'd be like, I'm an expert in sarcasm. If you don't like sarcosms, swipe bluff, Like is that sarcastic? Should I not swipe bluff? And I don't know what you even want anymore? Um, Yeah, I think sarcasm is just it's easy. It's it's an easy way to make jokes because you can literally it's kind

of going not ah, it's just taking whatever. It's based on what the person says, and then you say the opposite and you act like you mean it. Yeah, I can't even I use sarcasm a lot in my comedy, though I realize it's just I do do. I used to be very sarcastic. My whole conversations would be there'd be nothing, reflection, there would be nothing. I mean, you still struggle with that sometimes you do, well, that's sorry, that facetious. That's just rude really and yeah, oh my god,

that that bugs me so much. I mean, I'm I'm turning into a porcupine right now. That guy, Wait, I just said porky pine in said a porcupine, a porkypine. Did you ever see the movie Porky's Back Into No, I never did. I know. There's like a shower scene or something like that. No, that's LFC or uf ufl or jfl or FCC or some there's some like movie with No, there's some movie with letters in it that all the guys are like, who could do the people with the girls showering? Well, nerds they do it, okay,

revenge and nerds. I just have a joke that I hadn't. Like I was, I work on my body. I go to the gym all the time, and no one ever fucking sees it because I'm not hooking up because I'm pretty much celibate. So like when I'm in the shower, I hope my landlord has a fucking people because I want someone to appreciate it. I did feel that way at some point of like I wish someone would spy on me just because I want blind open, because that's so obvious. I want to be assaulted. I want, I know,

I want, No, I just wanted. I don't want it to happen with me knowing you know what I mean, But I do want it. I really I gotta bring that joke back because it was like, I don't think I ever put it on anything. It felt so stupid to go to the gym all the time and to have like, and I know you work on your body, say that you look good and clothes and stuff, but there was a um, I looked really good naked for a while and no one saw it except me, and it's just like it wasn't really I used to say,

a masturbate with my eyes closed. I don't need this ship like I don't I'm under the covers. So there was something that felt like sad about it. And I know that's like, oh, you're supposed to do it for yourself. But that was when I was more obsessed with what would you ever feel your own body while masturbating? Does that turn you on? Sometimes I would pinch my own nipples or well, we know you do that any any

time you might be going to the doctor. And one is sexual when I find myself touching myself during that. That's what I know. Like, oh, whoa, I'm out of it because it's just to me, that's not something that. Um. I just feel ridiculous when it comes to masturbation. UM. Not like I'm ashamed or anything, but I just, um, I don't know. I just what about the son of a mirror? Do you like masturbating in front of a mirror? A mirror here? Um? A guy named a mirror. Um,

that's so funny, like a room of like fifty of them. Uh, so funny. I don't know. No, have you ever done that? No? Uh, I can't say that I have. That's okay, Okay, I haven't. Yes, she can't think. It was just like instead of like finding a porn or something, you just kind of like, look at what you're doing. I don't look at my face though. I feel like I've definitely. Um, I don't know. I'm I'm so motivated by performing that anything I do

alone unless there's someone to account for it. I just like when I mastered, But there's it has nothing to do with me feeling like sexual or me putting on a like me, I'm not there. I'm like I'm astro projecting myself into the scene. But that's interesting, like being turned on by yourself. I gotta practice that. I don't think I could look into mirror and masturbate. I think it'd be too much. I'll try it now. That's self

love for sure. And um, I definitely feel really sexy and I like looking at myself when I'm with someone else. But it's the same as playing guitar, like when I go in those Instagram lives and all the besties watched me, like pretty much practice, I wouldn't be good. I wouldn't practice that much. I wouldn't play that much unless I

was performed. I have to. It's I have that same gene to perform with sports, like if I if I go surfing, I want someone to see what I did, like, or if I play anything to the gym, there's gotta be other people there. I'm not going to stay even though I've been playing golf, but you could kind of have You could catch a glimpse of other guys seeing your shot. You know, just someone, anyone, yeah, anyone. Watch.

That's why believing in God must feel pretty good, like you always have that, but some people just don't need that. I get jealous of, like surfers or whatever that can go out alone and just enjoy it without like because they're doing it to feel one with nature and like being like, unless I've never felt that, I've never done that, I've never done either. That's it's kind of sad to me that everything I do has to be basically yeah,

other people to approval or appreciate. It's not even other people's approval, it's like I just need someone to bear witness or something. I don't know. I enjoyed practice. Like last night, I was trying to learn a song and it was just one that I had to like really practice. It just sounds so clunky. If it doesn't sound good, I don't want to do it in front of anyone. But as soon as it sounds somewhat good, I need to be like, look look at what I can do. And I would do that way before I was really

good at it, right, you know what I mean? I guess we did that with stand up. We all did it before we were really good at it. But like we were doing that yesterday, we were going over like our first one, Oh my god. Yeah. We went on Instagram Live right after that We did the podcast yesterday and we were I was just playing, you know, a couple of chords back and forth, and um, Andrew I was like, let's just do one liners. I used to

do this with Jay Chris Newberg. He was a comic in l A. And we used to go on stage and he was a guitar comic and he would just he was a one liner guy and he would just play guitar and we would go one we would go joke for a joke, and it was so fun to just do one liners back and forth and have no like, we don't need you don't need to think about the flow of it, any transitions. You just tell jokes. It was so fun. What are you looking at? No? I

found my very first. I was listening to everything you said. I know, it's so funny. Your head needs to go totally down to look at it. Isn't this more rude? No, let's just look at watch watching this. I'm looking at my phone right now. Okay, I see that I have a hump in my neck. But you hold it all the way down in your lap. Yeah, No, I get it. Yeah, so you can pull it kind of in front of you at about learning yeah. Okay, well you got it right right right after we took the news job from you. Yeah,

I got nothing left. All right, we'll tell us some of your first job, first ever joke. No, I want to do you have yours anywhere? No, I mean I never I don't write things down, and they're all on like set lists that have been long gone. All right, these might be terrible to erosion. I haven't even looked at some of these. I probably did say, but these where my very first Yes, this is before I even took my counter. You look at this? Did you find this yesterday after we did the thing? Yeah, so I

was going through my email. I just typed in one liners because I used to one and so I went all the way down to the bottom. So I sent this to like probably like twenty friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And you were trying to write like Jack Handy. Yeah, deep thoughts by Jack? Yeah, Mitch Hedberg, I guess was he? Were you a fan of his? Yet a little bit? I saw him right before he died. Actually, okay, well some of us it looks like if we just what

I killed him. Yeah, I'm just Heath Ledger before he died. So there's a how soon before? Huh, I don't know. They both have like kind of the same name too, Heath Ledger, Yeah, Porcupine. Okay, alright, alright, I'll do something, but these might be terrible. Okay. I remember when I ran away from my parents forget in a divorce. That time, I think it was my fault, not bad kind of like a turn on. I think I remember the time I ran away from my parents after getting after they

got a divorce. That time, I think it was my fault. That doesn't even make sense. I get it like you were doing a joke on like parents always say it's not your fault. Yeah, yeah, that's funny. There's something really good about that, all right. I sometimes was ridiculed for not doing drugs in grade school by my doctor. It's actually not bad for not doing drugs in grade school by your doctor. Yeah, I'm getting like he wanted he

ridiculed me for not taking my riddle in or something. Wait, so like so the joke is like, doctors tell you don't take drugs, but this one wanted you to take drugs. No that he prescribed me drugs and I didn't take them. So where's the joke. The joke is I was ridiculed for not doing drugs and grades by my Like who would ridicule you in grade school for not taking Yeah? Lot of so A better way to say that it is like I was a dork in. I was a

dork in high school. Sometimes I got made fun of, sometimes I got It was very It was hard in grade school. I felt like I didn't fit in. I would get ridiculed for not doing doing drugs. But it wasn't by the cool kids. It was by my doctor. You would have to like feed it a little bit more. I think you're very good at feeding. Yeah, you gotta,

you gotta. I used to do the same thing where the people would go the audience isn't thinking what you're thinking, Like you have to like you have to walk, you have to hold their hands there because you have to set the scene. Because I mean you that one. We were all confused. Hangman is the most racist game I know except blah blah blah, except uh, what what was the game that your your teacher made you do within your nose in the circle? Oh? Yeah, what it was called?

He just said, put your judos in the circus, Okay, except to put your judos in the circle, which was one of yeah, which is my eleventh grade teacher, after I talked heads up seven up, after we played heads up seven off seven times in a row, or like I guess, in a different number. This one's really fucking clever. People who tend to smell in public think they're farting in private. Okay, that sucks. Okay. Dogs are man's best friends. Listen,

no judgment here. These are all like they're not bad thoughts. But so what I did is like no these yeah, alright, dogs are man's best friend. Cats are better as a musical. Whoa, oh man, dude, you're thinking outside the box. What's the difference between sarcasm and facetious? Oh my god, that's good. I mean, I don't hate that. Oh god. I started free diving lessons fifteen years ago, and now I have horrible credit, meaning what wait, hold on, I want to

try to even understand. To say it again, don't explain, I started free diving free diving lessons. Free diving is when you go hold your breath, right, Okay, you started free diving lessons years ago, and now I have horrible credit because you spent money on lessons with my credit Okay. What I think the joke is free to as well. Like the joke is that it ended up being you thought it was going to be free diving lessons. Okay,

so that's funny. So I saw a sign that said free diving lessons, and I've always wanted to do learn how to do that. So I show up and all we're doing is holding our breath and going under. I was like, where's the board or something like where's the where's the diving board? Essentially, Oh no, I that's enough a post on it. I don't have any money to pay. I have no money at the end of the class. I feel bad watching free porn in front of a

hooker free porn? Wait, I feel bad watching free porn in front of oh right, like, because she's probably you're taking away her business. And why would you be watching free porn in front of a hooker? I know that would be mean because I'm not paying her free hookerless Wait, you would be paying a hooker. Oh yes, that worse would be even worse. So I pay for the hookers time. But yet I watched free porn in front of I

think she would love that. You kidding me, don't there's a lot more where that came from, and this is really fun. Yeah, we gotta go back into this little stat Do you stop reading right now? I don't want to. I don't want to get Oh man, some of my first jokes were so fucking bad and made no sense, and we're just there's one that I just thought of it. I can't do it because it um is based on using a word that we no longer use as a

uh pejorative statement, if you know what I'm saying. No, that one still, Oh, I know, I bet it was just I mean, I think you can probably guess it. But I'm not even gonna give the punchline. They say for for the cup of um, the price of a cup of coffee every day, you could save one Ethiopian child, um just for that. But I go to Starbucks and I found out for the price of a fenty double whip Moca double blended with blah blah blah, you can save up to blank. You get it. Yeah, do you

know what I'm saying? People? That is funny to think like, because you think I'm gonna say like eight Ethiopians, but I just say you can save one. Wait, now I'm confused. I'm not trying to make you say the words. No, I'm not going to can you say like the first letter of the word. I just want to say that there are certain things that that drink is um rather feminine and maybe metro sectional, and so you might use a word back in two thousand two to describe that drink,

and so I would say you could. It was a misdirection where you're like, oh my god, but I every day I get this specialty drink, so for the price of this, and then I say all of these like things on the drink with like you know, caramel drizzle and blah blah blah, you can save up to one See that was play more in joke form, like stand up joke form already early on, then would you how would you come up with a break But I'll tell you what I get back a girl in okay? But

how would you back to jokes? How did you know? Because that's a real set up punchline, like well written, Joe, early on, did you watch like did you just fill in the words of like another stand up I just studied, Yeah, I studied other stand up like so hard. So that was almost like you took out words and put words

in kind. Start with um. I would start with the same thing that you were saying yesterday on the Instagram Live of like an old saying an older dodge, A dodge, a a d a g s of like old adage. I think the word is, oh my god, I give says a dodge and a dodgy and an old adele. Um you would say, you would take like you know, um. So the the old adage is that for a couple of coffee, for the price of a cup of coffee, you can say like it's just trying to make Americans

feel bad about their spending. And that was like a thing that you heard all the time, at least I remember it being said. I never saw the commercials where it said it, but that was like a thing. So I remember going, Okay, there's something funny about that. And I remember the Sarah Silverman joke. I really liked that. I've said in the podcast before. I think where she says, um, you know uh, I really I like to do good

and I like to give back. I recently UM sent a village in Ethiopia uh um a an a shipment of these beautiful cow neck sweaters like it was just her being this white dumb woman that doesn't understand that like giving to them isn't the same way that what you would want. And she's like these really creamy, yummy Kashmir cow neck sweaters and I gotta let her back

and it was so sweet. They said they love the sweaters and that they were delicious, and so I remember thinking that joke is really funny, Like what what my favorite communities do is take these taboos of like starving children, abortion, like these things that are like really harsh subjects and like making light of them and also playing this character that's kind of stupid. And so for that joke, it's like sardcast like using no because you're you're you're not

you're playing You're not like playing dumb. You're actually you're actually being a dumb person, but the audience doesn't. The audience obviously knows that you're behind it. But sarcasm is more like really like yourself. People get mad about these racist jokes. It's like, well, why don't you get mad at characters on TV who read who? Why don't you get mad at um Leonardo DiCaprio for saying the N word? And Yeah, but seriously, because why is that different than

Sarah Silverman. I think I'm being gullible right now, because why is that? Why is that different than Sarah Silverman, who had to apologize for all the jokes she did as a character who's this naive She's what she's portraying is the opposite of the person she's being, the Karen. But people, because stand up, they take it as like it's you, and they're like, well, you wrote the joke. Well guess what people wrote if you watch Veep. I've always said this, it's the most racist jokes I've ever

heard in my life. Stuff that if a stand up said those jokes, they would get canceled. But because these characters are terrible people, they get away with it and their actors. Why can't stand ups be actors? You know, like in the fact that Amy Schumer and Sarah Silverman have have to apologize for jokes they made playing a character who is clearly a dumb cunt um, and that's that's what I did with that joke. It's like, okay, so all right, so the cup of coffee a day

you can save any theopian. Okay, Well, what's something I can do with coffee, well, coffee comes in all shapes and sizes. Oh what if I did, what would um a frappuccino save? And I was thinking, okay, the where you would go normally is they would save a lot more people because it's more expensive, so not one Ethiopian child, it would save seven. And then I go, wait a second, I don't want to say seveny theo with ChEls. What can I say instead? That makes me a dumb cunt,

which is one gay Ethiopian? Yes? Right, so because and I go, because that's kind of a fruity drink. I said something like, you know, disparit. But but the thing is what I'm wondering. First of all, that wasn't saying

that drink was um. That actually wasn't using it as a presorative statement, because that's true, that drink is delicious and I love it, but it's a little bit gay in the sense that it's like, you know, it's it has a lot of um, a frappy frappuccino, like yeah, yeah, And where does are you allowed to say that things are gay anymore? That are like uh, or that are like more feminine feminine or um, yes, flamboyant. I mean

you're allowed. I mean culture will say you can't. But a lot of people would say it's okay, because yeah, will culture would have problem with that. Yeah, they have a problem with using the wrong proninent. They would definitely have a problem with say, oh, yeah, that that guy runs like runs gay or you know what. I guess because certain men wouldn't get the drink because I would say if I said that that drink is that's kind

of a gay drink or whatever. If I was just being like fun about it or not meaning to be harsh, I guess it could be interpretive, uh, in a negative connotation because it might mas make mask new men not want to get the drink because of what that would imply. But um, yeah, so I guess it is not that it wasn't. I wouldn't do that joke now ever, because I think it's just it's I mean, it's I was good. No, I mean, it's just to unless I'm being very ironic,

I mean, who says things are gay anymore? I mean, but that was so common that everyone should be canceled based on what how we used to talk. I've seen what show was I was watching some regular show. It was insanely common the O C or something, and I was Taylor Swift as a lyric where she's like, and I'll tell everyone you're gay about like a guy in the song she's like, and I'll tell my friends you're gay. Al Right, well shall we cancel her? Like it was, well,

let's think about this. And obviously we're too, Like I'm maybe a little bit gay. I've uh come to terms with that. I don't know, you know, but I think we're all in the Kinsey scale. But when this is coming from three fucking white people and or white you know, straight people, and they're fucking podcast talking about um, I don't mean to describe the gay experience, but I think that. I mean, we're talking the other day about our high

school graduating class, no gay people in mind. Mm, Like two thousand two, gay people did not feel comfortable enough coming out. Don't you think that in two thousand two, we were living in a culture where it didn't feel. Um, we just didn't know that it wasn't okay to say that because there were no gay people around us, and we didn't know how common it was. We didn't know. We didn't know that us saying things were gay was actually contributing to the silence of those people. We didn't

think of it that way. And it's not to say that it was right or like you should excuse it, like I'm I'm so sad that people in high school who are now gay and my graduating class couldn't be that way in high school. It's like, it fucking sucks because that's who they were the whole fucking time, or maybe you know when they depending on when they were turned. But I don't know. I just think that going back, and it's just about cancel culture stuff like thinking of

these things in just comparing everything to the present. Well then, oh my god, Andrew, you slept with a girl, Um, five years ago, you're cheating on Brenna right now because five years ago, we have to hold you to the same standard right now. Didn't you know you were gonna be with your wife someday back then? Didn't you know five years ago when you were slept with that woman, that you knew you weren't going to marry, that some day you would marry a girl, and that that would

betray her. I'm sorry, I'm sorry to everyone I let down for having sex with that girl five years ago, but I didn't there were no other girls that would you. But didn't you know some day that you would be with someone. I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. I think, like, listen, I'm I'm I'm bearing for I'm like bracing for like you know, uh, someone trying to cancel me based on things that I used

to be okay to say. And it's just like if you if you can look back and go, oh my god, I'm horrified by how I talked or how we talked, or how we've made gay people or black people or anyone feel less than if you can say that, then I think it should be okay and say and you can say I don't do that now, and I would

never say that now. Why isn't that enough? Well, I think what happens to is like, let's say someone goes back and sees that joke because it's on some tape somewhere at some like shitty show you did, and somehow it's pulled up on YouTube. I don't know however they do it. You just type in Nikki Glazer Ethiopian joke and I mean it's not out there because I just

I was so so I never put it on. Let's say you get canceled for that, you lose your show, you lose this show, you lose you lose everything, right, So then where can you go? You can only be embraced by people that are fine with using that word, which I'm not even fine using that. I know, I know, but then you're like, well, I have more embraced by

people that know that. I think most of my fans, even on this show, would understand that that was like a different me, and they would come along and they're not people that currently use that word. That's true, That's a good point. I'm just saying that because then what happens. I think if someone goes, Okay, well I can't even do this thing, well, now I'm gonna be worse for this apology of saying like, I can't believe I said that. Listen. I didn't hear his uh second apology about and I

didn't watch the tape of all of it. It's just I was honestly going to be, I think, too disturbed by it. But I read the things he said, and he was I think, from what I understood, rightfully horrified by what he says. Does that excuse it was it, you know, a different time back then. I don't I don't know. I don't know. I just know that, like when I cannot forgive anyone, I'm not kidding you anyone for anything if they go I don't know what the

funk I was thinking when I did that. I would never do that now, And I'm gonna go forward and actually do good, try to make the world a better place moving forward, knowing what I know about my past actions and how they affected people, Like how can you be mad at that person? First of all, They're gonna

actually probably go out and do more good. And maybe I'm gullible, maybe I'm falling for people's apology, or maybe I'm these people just went their careers back and I should just see it for what it is and it's just a money grab and they just are only But I don't know. I guess I still have a little faith that people can have humility and be really I'm someone who has been horrified by things I've said and done.

Even last week, even in moments of like anger, when I feel like I'm back into a corner and you know, my partner makes me really upset and I say something just out of anger, just to hurt them in that moment, because I just fight or fight, you know, porcupine, and I could be horrified minutes after I say something that is completely out of line, and I expect to be

forgiven for those moments because we all do things. We're all stupid sometimes, and if you're someone out there being like I would never say that word, and I would never make those jokes. We're talking about this at dinner last night. I would never drive drunk. I'm sure there's something you've done in the past that you would never do now that you if you got caught for it, which you just haven't been because there was no record of it, you'd be horrible. You just no one's perfect.

All you got to do is be able to Everything that he did was recorded over the last like twelve year or whatever it's like, over his span. If everything you thought and you had to talk for two hours, you would probably find something pretty shitty that you said. But people argue, I wouldn't have said that, yes, but I would never have said that could be yes, of course, like even I said that, Like if you were to trick me and go I have recording of you saying

that where go. No, I never said it, but me to go, I'm better than anyone who says it. It's like I've probably said things that are qualifying in different ways. Just how I've said things I've said graz just the tone of my voice, whatever that now I have. I'm not kidding you. In with me and my friends, when I have been very hurt by men or really resent full of other women, I have said things that would I mean, probably hold up in a court of law

as premeditated murder. Do you know what I'm saying like that that could that could be treasonous because of Because I'm just trying to really let let my friends know how fucking man I am at someone. I've said things that if they were recorded, could get me arrested, because guess what, in those moments, I just need to let it out, and I'm so embarrassed afterwards, and I have to say to my friends, like, by the way, I don't want to do that to that person. I don't

hope that person does that thing. But we all humans are capable of some of the ugliest You can't help the way you think. But I think that all I need from someone is accountability. That doesn't mean like you can just get away with being a terrible person and just apologize. Oh I'll just apologize every time that I can keep being terrible. That's not what I'm talking about. Don't do that. Don't say that to me of like, oh,

so you just apologize every time. I don't. I don't mean like a guy can hit me and then apologize. But if if someone I I think, I I I trust an apology when I get it, when I feel it sincere and if the person you know does it again, then we have you know, there's two strikes in your out for me. But I will always accept an apology always,

and maybe not even two stricture out. I just feel like humans operate really uh stupidly when they get drunk, when they get comfortable, when they get angry, when they get lonely, when they get tired, when they like get hung like we just become not the best version of ourselves, and that I think we should allow ourselves to I think we should. It's kind of like when that there was you know, I'm a Jewish guy. You know I'm not the most Jewish. No, I'm just kidding. I'm not

the most Jewish porcupine, but you know, I'm Jew. I'm a Jew. And then my buddy Myers Leonard said the word kike, right, and as a Jew, that's like the worst word you could possibly hear. And he yelled it in a in a in a when he was playing a video game like a live stream. He yelled it in in like a way of like you know, talking ship like to someone or just like screamed someone like to to someone like who killed him? He's like, oh, you fucking And was the person was Jewish in the NBA anymore?

Right now? Partly was he was injured? But then also I think people aren't allowing him. Did he say it to a Jewish person? Not that it completely matters, but did he like I think some people take on slurs because they just are these harsh words. No, No, he didn't know the person wasn't Jewish, so he said it too.

There's some context and he was being honest, he said the next day he was like, um, I really don't didn't know that, Like I knew the word, like I've just heard the word, but he didn't know behind the word. And he's done so much work since then with like different Jewish groups. He's like been so public about it where I don't even think he needs to do that honestly as a Jewish person, you know, I wrote him

the next day. I was like, you know, you know, as a Jewish person, like you know, I I get what you know what you did and I'm sure you're sorry and what's that? And I was like, you know what, thanks for being a fan, and if you could promote my next album on your inst stories, I'd be great. No. No, but like no, I was just like I get it right away, like you can see the sadness in them that he just didn't know, Like he just didn't know. You know why people want people to be canceled is

because they're fucking jealous and they want to success. People are people are miserable inside and they need to punish others to feel better. And it's I don't blame them, because it sucks being depressed and having no concept of where your hatred and your desire to ruin people comes from. Anyone I ever am like excited to see them get canceled, which I have before. You know, this is not this is talking outside of like people who have done like

sexually aggressive things to women or other men. Um. But like I've been, I've been like secretly happy to see some people fucking take a turn in their career for whatever reason. And because it's because I'm jealous of their success and that they're happy and that their beloved, I'm jealous.

It all comes from me. And let me just say, in high school, I remember my friend Taylor one time she used to call She used to just rhyme my name with things and be like Nick nickel, nickel, pickle, pearl, like nick nick nick, and she used to call me Nick this Yeah, okay. Had no clue that that word was a bad word until she said it in front of my mom, and my mom said, Taylor, I love that word. No, she said, Taylor, oh my god, don't

you cannot say that? And we we had no idea. Now, obviously my Mayer's Leonard probably had heard that word and NI people bad like that word we didn't know was any kind of bad word. Obviously, he was saying that we're in a event of frustration, so he knew it had some kind of weight to it, but he didn't know the full significance of it. I think what happens is though, is like when the cancel stuff is that will say that word right even though he didn't he

didn't mean any harm. He was just I get yeah. So, but what happens is is people really do shoot up synagogues and people really do have anti Semitism, and so it's like if we could make an example I know, but if we could make an example of him, right, this is a public figure, we could jump on him, which will then hopefully alleviate some of that other stuff like if you even say the word, then you're gonna get canceled, let alone if you do anything worse than this. Yeah,

so it's a way. It's a way to kind of like be like, if we punish him, I just know that what you're doing is wrong the way work, I'm gonna get screwed either way. So funck y'all. Like to me, it says like it's like when your parents are like gonna ground you if you don't um, if you if you drop a little piece of paper on the ground. It's like, well then I'm gonna go smoke crack because it's the same punishment, you know, Like, what is it, Matt, Like when I'm gonna get pun for saying damn. And

I'm gonna get you know, grounded then funk. I'm gonna go fucking do whatever, mom dad, because nothing you there's no there's no fairness in this. And I think that that makes you just go, this is irrational, and like you know what, I know that what I meant in saying this wasn't wrong, and I'm still being punished for it. Like when I when if someone thinks I'm like doing something wrong, I do it anyway because it's like, well you already think I'm doing it wrong, Fine, I'm gonna

actually do it because who cares. I'm already guilty in that in your eyes. And uh so it's all very interesting. Let's get to the news. A no, uh oh, you have to do the opening. I'm not taking that. Oh well, it's Thursday, folks, you know what that means. It is Thursday. I hope you're having all the swells they're out there, and do you know for the readings? All right, Well,

we have an update. The man who was killed in a horrifying attack by a great white shark and has been identified as thirty five year old British diving instructor who was training who was training for a charity swim and about to get married to the girl of his dreams. No, God, so sad. I heard the father in law paid to shark. That's what I heard. That the word on the street. I looked into this too, apparently, you know, we were we were saying that how could this guy go swimming?

This doesn't look like swimming waters. A lot of people swim in this little where he was out, and it's a very common place. This is a first shark attack in Sydney in sixty years. Andrew, what are you looking at the story? He's just bad. It's just so said, um, can we see a picture of this guy now? Six five? But really, I'll show you the photo. It's really sad. Oh god, do we have any other details of like what I heard? I mean the shark bit him in

I mean he was It was such catastrophic injuries. There was no surviving. What happened to him was a cat. Yeah, that's god. Dang, he is so cute. Simon nella nellist. You know what that makes it look like though, That makes it look like the cat killed him. Okay, was mad. So there's a picture of him holding a cat and it says Simon Nellis was mauled to death Wednesday. Oh no, oh, here's him into the water. He is such a cuteie. All this okay, so sad. Here's what his friend said

about him, just so we can say something nice. Um, everything that is connected to Simon is connected to the ocean. The news hit us like a truck because he was one of the people who makes this earth lighter. Oh no, I did start to tear up when I read it, but I thought we should give an update. Yeah, honor him and give an update. I I looked into it yesterday and I heard I watched some more clips. There was a couple other there was one other clip I saw of people filming from the beach and it was

horrific and people were throwing up. These people like what they saw. Those people also in pain and traumatized. So it's awful. And you know, the shark was just being a shark, honestly, Like I don't want to demonize sharks. It literally just was doing what it would have done.

You know, if that was a seal, we would have that footage would have been seen on National Geographic you know, like it's um, it's like that saying no it's like, you know when people say you, like, you died doing what you love, which he did do in the most like graphic way possible, but if you could look at it as like a positive at all, it's like he loved the ocean, and like the ocean, you know what

I mean? Like like when people say, like, he died doing what he loved, it's usually obviously not his gad. I'm trying to think of like an example of when someone's it's usually a extreme sport. Yeah, it's usually an extreme sport, yea, or like that's not like playing chess and then he had a heart attack or like men who died from fucking or whatever we read the other day, light Head, no heavier. Okay. Tinder channels love is Blind

with latest available feature. Oh okay, So last week they rolled out um tinders new feature called fast Chat Blind Date, which pairs singles without letting them see each other's profiles. So instead of making an initial judgment based off attraction, they have to chat and develop a spark through conversation. If successful, how we're going back to phone lines and only then if it's successful, they'll be able to match and check each other's profile pictures. Oh, but the thing

is like love is blind. Casting really make sure these people are like attractive enough. Tinder is a cess pool and you're going to get you don't want. Voices are so important though, Oh my god. Lisa Gilroy had the funniest um, love is blind like spoof where you know love is why if you don't know? These people are in pods. They can't see each other. They just have to talk to each other and they fall in love and they literally get engaged before they see each other.

You rise, it's wild and they really develop, like like they're all crying and they love each other through a wall. So least Gilroy was like doing this one where she's like um, like there, She's like, let's play a game. Um, I'm gonna ask you a question, like to get to know you game if you're a Sunday what topping would you be? Or like if you were Sunday tapping, what would you be? And the guys like, I guess nuts, okay, my turn, Um, if you were on a scale, what

would the numbers say? And also when the guy was like a picture of yourself inside it under the door and the guy like asking oh um, or the guy saying, I wish I knew what you look like, because they always say that they all because men are so visual, I guess, and women are more cerebe Yeah, you know, but I feel like I I mean, in terms of attraction, I definitely feel like I eat from the first boy I had a crush on who I referenced otherday, Matt Johnson um playing sends up seven off if he touched

my thumb, and I was so excited. I remember realizing in fifth grade, I told my friends, Wow, I didn't even like wasn't didn't think he was that cute, and still I started talking to him, and now he's so cute, and I was like, personality can make someone so cute.

You know, back then we didn't say hot cute, But it is true, Like I I cannot believe who I've been attracted to after I got to know them, and from looking at them, I never would have swiped right, and after getting to know them, that someone can transform so drastically. And I don't know that men have the same ability to see a woman who is who you would know, who would not get your boner, get no blood flow going there, and then after you spend a

conversation with them. All your dick is hard. I mean I just remember chat rooms, you know, a O L chat rooms, and that was before you could really see photos. But you would still go, you know, what do you look like? Oh, blond hair, blue eyes? Yeah, I mean you would say all that ship like how quick? But have you ever fallen for someone? I mean, I know you fall for rundom harder after you know, but she's

still someone that you were trying to do it. Has ever been a girl that you were like nah, but then you got to know where You're like, holy sh it, wait, I think I'm like attracted to her. I mean I just have had so many few girlfriends, so it's like but like anyone that would just go wow, I didn't realize like she actually has a sexual vibe to her that I wouldn't have thought. You didn't have to have

sex with the girl. But like ever, usually it's the other way around, right, and be like, Wow, she's beautiful, And then I'll talk to her and be like how did she get ugly? How did this like gorgeous person turns? So? No? What what about you? Like? Have you have you about guys? I know, I know a guy who Um, that exact

situation happened. You know, the woman that he was with was not exactly his type physically, but he loved her personality and her values and all of that, and um, they got married and now they're going through divorce because it's because they're Yeah, maybe that's attraction is waning, but I think it's it's more than just that, Like probably there's other always going to wane because you turn into an eight year old person. No one should be sexually

attracted to an eight year old person. It is by design that eight year old people are not sexually attractive because they become you know, brittle, a little bit demented, and you shouldn't. They become like babies again, that's why they babies are not sexually attractive, and old people aren't because you become fragile and you can't and you're not able to have children anymore, and you shouldn't be fucking I wonder if really old so we all can end up if we did till death, end up with someone

who is sexually unattractive. Well, but then you're I don't know, it's it's gonna be I don't know. I guess we have to ask like an eighty five year old of like, when they look at another eighty five year old, do they see them as hot because they're eighty five and they're looking at their own body and they're like, well, this is my body. It's interesting Like my mom. I I haven't seen my mom age because I've just been the whole time, like she looks like my same mom

that I've always had. I can't picture, like, WHOA, she's way different looking. She used to be so young. Um. But because agean happens so slowly, I wonder, at what point if you're married very long, like forty years, and

then you look, do you see your partner? And maybe right in if you experience this and you're listening to podcast, I know people are going to say they do, but I'm just saying, no, it's just interesting to me because I'm if you're a guy on if you have your memory wiped of your wife and you're she's an eight year old woman and you see her, there's nothing about an eight year old woman that should set your boner a fire. That's what I'm saying. But there's no biological

reason for that. There's no reason. The reason being is that because you, and like, I want to protect this person, but there shouldn't be I want to fuck this person. Oh my grandma was fucking so she. I mean, I'm sure I don't know Dick is Dick. I guess yeah.

It is interesting though, like I have no worries about getting older with a partner that I find that it's like loves me and like I know that the like I would never be with someone who was just with me because I was hot or like really needed me to stay hot, or I felt like if I gain weight, they're not going to like me anymore. Something I would. I just it would never happen for me. That's just such a requirement that I already put so much pressure

on myself in that way. I could, and people are too lazy to do, like a Tinder where you have to write, or at least when I was dating online, like I could, I had laziness and I could you can see the photos, like if I had to go through five photos, that would be annoyed like hinges and was annoying to me because I felt like how it's

set up, like how the app is set up. I loved those dating apps because I feel like you I like going through all that stuff, and I mean after a while, you're just like, God, there's just I've seen you swipe on the first photo when you're single. What do you mean you go first photo you're in or out? Oh yeah. But if someone is like, does spark my interests? Then I dig around and that's fun. But you can tell from first. But they dig your interests by looks.

What I'm saying to imagine trying to dig your interests by just hobbies like that you're actually seeing them and it's not causing you to you would have to read too much or talk to them to if you have to talk to each one. This is going back This is going backwards. Like you said, it's like the phone.

But I honestly think that if I listened to a voice memo of ten seconds of someone just talking, I would be able to be attracted to them much easier than just looks, because I just think there's something about the way of a person talks and like how they that I've been attracted to people from just their voice before, Like what wou do you think I look like just by hearing my voice? All right? You ready? Hey, what's up? I hope you're having a great day to day. I

had a good day. Really tall and thin really yeah, wow with a huge day. Yeah just no ah, animal, this is the nicest day on her YouTube. The next news story, Um, do you want to take a break. Yeah, let's take a break and come back with a weekly sports moment. Alright, we're back. It's our weekly sports moment, gears Andrew's weekly sports moment. Okay, a rare signed Michael Jordan's Kobe Bryant jersey card is up for auction. It previously sold for five whoa what wait? I would have

guessed thirty dollars? Okay, what thousand dollars? It's a jersey or a card. It's a card that has their both their autographs and pieces of their jerseys. Me okay, and there's ten copies made. Ever, so they cut up the jerseys and Kobe passing away this card that funk. I literally forgot about that. I'm not because I don't care, but no, no, I know. It's just like life. So did they both signed car? Is it like they just

put the cards? Okay, let's see because million It was released in two thousand, So it's a card and it has like a little fabric swatches. But it's like a really decorative looking card and it has both their signatures on it. It looks like they're signing, like uh uh, those don't look like autographs. They look more like they were signing a like a you know, like a doctor signing.

Yeah no, or like um, when you were signing a bunch of papers for like the real estate, you know where you just like write it very small and on the line and uh you have your like lawyer pointing at like a highlighted section. All right, So this same this same card sold for five okay, and so now it's up for auction again. No, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. The same card but different. So there's another one up

that recently sold for a five D sixteen thousand. This one is now up for so we'll go around prior to the the same price. Um, anyone who's I saw a TikTok the other day and this kid, there's this guy who goes up to like people driving really fancy cars and he's like, what do you do for a living? And this kid goes, oh, I sell real estate on the in the metaverse, and he just sold an n f T for a house by like a celebrity's house

for five thousand dollars. So it's like, what is that? Like, I can't remember when baseball cards will go like a Horace Wagner, which is like the most expensive. It's like, for some reason, the most expensive baseball card go for like over a million dollars, and we'd all be like it's just like I'd be like, just minimum wage has not gone up in like twenty years, but like being

a millionaire means nothing anymore. Like it's like, honestly, it's not even that when people go, I'm making six figures, it's like, well, that better being the high six figures, because I'm not impressed by, yeah, the sick figures. Now. It's just it doesn't mean the same because things are

so fucking expensive and then people are billionaires. And didn't you say the other day that crypto it's like of crypto is or bitcoin, Bitcoin is owned by the top of It's like the same thing with stocks too, but stocks are just harder to manipulate than bitcoin. But it's just, you know, I just like it's wild because I remember just being like, what the funk why would baseball code? You're just paper. It's the same ship with n f T. It's like, huh, it's not even paper, it's a number

on your screen. Like that was what was wild, was like when you get money, it's not like there's like a vault with a bunch of cash and it's like take it from she wants some cash. We'll go into the will spin the wheel and then the thing will crank open. You go in. It's just a fucking number. It's just a decimal point. Well that's why it could go down, and that it's like metaverse for like we already are working with the things that aren't real, that

aren't tangible. Yes, I think that's already not tangible. Yes, well yes, I mean I haven't put cash in my wallet. What's the most you've ever spent on something? My condo that was worth Oh yeah nothing. I would love to look up the right now. Do you ever look at that? Yeah?

It was don't worry about that, Fairways Beach, Florida. Yeah, um, yeah, I think the most I've ever spent is like, yeah, putting down payment on an apartment or like you know, first and last month plus the deposit and being like but you've never dropped like a chunk and that's something you guys actually used. Like what have you ever sent an exorbitant amount of money on something that you just display on a shelf in your own house. I mean I bought that Taylor Swift guitar that was a sticker

of her autograph. That was probably what did I spend on that? I think like five? I know, but you said that, like, whoa, that's a lot on a fake out. But to them, I bet you anything that that is a penny compared to what they actually have in their bank account, Like it's nothing to do so it's all you know. Oh my god, dude, what they're back in the same price that I paid, We're more expensive. Yeah,

well let's get to fan tracks. Motherfucker. I bought it at two twenty it was worth sixty and now it's back to one here for two it dude that Yeah, I didn't have any money to hold on. God my car got repot out of my dad's house. So embarrassing. Okay, you're coming through so much, you gotta write a book. Okay, it's time to hear from you guys. What do you have for us this week? Noah, Who's who's talking to us? Okay? We have a lot of great voicemails. Let me just

pull up the names. Okay, these voicemails. Actually I agree with your point, Nikki, about knowing if the person is like you liked them or not. Yeah, I mean this is love is blind. Oh good point. You just get a good sense of like what they might look like. We should try to guess what these people look like today. Okay, well, here in your photos after Okay, here comes Tony. All right, did a great impression of our opening music. Mhm, Hey, Nikky, Andrew Noah, big fan of the pod, been listenings and

stay one and listened to every single episode. Calling in to tell you guys about a time that I was a sales rep for a company and I was given a list of customers to contact, and so I caught one of them. Uh, And I asked. The girl answered the phone and I said, I can speak to the colonel. And there was a pause and she said, do you mean the colonel And I said, oh, yeah, the colonel kind of speak to the colonel. And she said, oh no, I'm sorry, he died about a month ago. Oh my god.

And I had no response to it. I just hung up the phone. And moved on to the next person on the list. But even thinking about it to this day, it makes me cringe. And um, yeah, thank you for sharing it with uh. I love the pod, Love you guys. Jackie Slater, Jackie Slater. I think this guy has a strong jaw and maybe dimples. I feel like it's dark and good hairline, dark care, spiky a little bit. I bet he's wearing a He's like a polo and he works out a lot. He's like bulging muscles. He's wearing

a black working in sales usually work out too. Um, Tony, that's so funny because that word, by the way, I'm with you the worst. I don't understand the echnology of it. K e r n a L Colonel, Well, colonel, like a popcorn colonel is about k e r n e L. I believe close enough. Oh so colonel missed thing. No one should ever get it right, and everyone should always

get it wrong. And the funny part of this story is though, that he fucked up colin colonel, and then the colonel's dead, and I wonder if the colonel is really dead or they just knew he was a marketing call telemarketer, and that they did. It's the old My dad's in the shower. You should have said, is he all naked and soapy? Said he's dead? Is he in the ground rotting? Is he? By the way, it's got to suck to like work really hard in the in

the army to become like a colonel. Don't only when people and I think colonel, I think Kentucky, right, chicken, Like I never wanted to think of a like a guy that worked hard in the army. Oh my god, yeah, you're so right. I only think about chicken. I that

caused me. Documentary was a big part of it was about him getting his doctorate in education, which for anyone who's a doctor in education, like doctors laugh at you like it's the no one respects a doctor at an education If you call yourself doctor, you're kind of like a people kind of like laugh at you and think you're an idiot because you're just obvious, like trying to be like I would. It's like um and Becausby didn't. He didn't even write his thesis or his his dissertation.

He hired people in The Cosby Show to do it. And he didn't never go to class. And he also made his character, Cliff Huxtable, a doctor on a show because he wanted people to just think he was a doctor, and he was a do you know what kind of doctor? He was a geologist? Oh? Yes, he really was. And do you know where his office was in the basement of his house. It's so disgusting, you guys, Like everything he was like the whole documentary is about how he

shown us. He all along was just creeping us out, but none of no one was looking at it. His office was in the basement of his house where he was examining women. It's like when I lived with the vagina waxer, who would do it in our living room? Yeah? But when he were a serial rapist. Doctors get like a tax credit or something if it's like a home office like that. Uh Still, why of all the doctor

things you could do, would you pick that for your character? Partly, I don't know, it's pretty doctorate if you think about like doctors that work in emergency rooms and then nurses have to do everything, and then he just comes in and goes, uh, huh are you doing today? I know the doctor's fucking feel like it feels like they don't do ship. I mean they do, but it's just like this is so funny how much the nurses have to do,

like the thesis, and he just comes in. He's like hearing your doctor like down the hall, like coming to your room. All right, yeah, we'll get that on stat and then us just have them clear the milligrams or and you just like hear them like stepping closer, and you hear them like saying goodbye to another patient and the door and they're like, hey, you're coming, he's coming, he's coming. And then you hear a door open it's next door to you, and you're like, fuck, I'm not next.

There's all you just are always waiting for the doctor like a fucking woman that's about to lose her virginity to like an old man, and like you're just like a woman in waiting. All I'm thinking about when I go to doctor is him putting this steath of scope and it being cold on my body, and I'm just like, God, I'm thinking about do I shake their hand? Do I say I'm you never say where they go hi, I'm like they bott of them put it out. I don't remember.

Then alright, let's sit in the basis this one's uh for Andrew from Amanda. Okay, Hi Nikki Andrew, and no uh, this message is specifically for Andrew. I just listened to yesterday's podcast and you were talking about there was a kid in the background and secure about your puffy nipples. And you've mentioned it before in a few other episodes, and I always was confused, like what do you even mean puffy nipples? What is that? And I looked it up because I just wanted to know, like coffee nipples

in men, like what does that mean? And they're just normal, like my my dad has nipples like that, and actually so does my fiance, which is kind of weird that they both have it. But I try not to think about it like that. But I think it looks good, especially if you have nice pecks, a little bit of chest hair, if you're strong, you work out. I think it looks good. So you need like five other positives to care about or worry about. It definitely looks good.

Um and the haters and anyway, I love you guys. I saw you at the Paramount on Long Island, if you know, crushed it. It was so hilarious. I hope you come back and I love you guys that Jack. But I'm looking at puffy. I'm doing what she did. I said, puffy nipples on men on Google, and you're right, they don't look bad. I mean, I want to see what what they're claiming that are puffy because I don't think my I think the older I've gone and I've

grown into them, right, you know what I mean. Yeah, I'm gonna send you some puffs right now, I'm gonna text you some puffs. Yeah, that's that's pretty much what I was talking. Yeah, I mean, they're they're not They're not bad at all. Like I think, it's just it doesn't matter, like what even it's it's hard to erase childhood trauma of feeling like another and that's what happened

with you, and so that's your thing. Even if they puffy nipples became totally like the coolest thing in the world, it would still linger in your what happens like like look at this guy for example. I love that message. Yeah, this guy's he's he's in very good shape, but his nipples they stick out more because he's in't. So that's like the dilemma is like because the more RiPP you get, then the more pronounce your nipples will be but if you're a little chubby or with chest hair, your nipples

kind of gold. Say, though, I wear tape to put down my nipples sometimes, you know, um, you can get if you're wearing a shirt that you don't want them to embarrass thing though to do that, I could never wear a thin white T shirt, but maybe just use a nipple cover. But what if someone sees that's the most embarrassing, and then I'd rip out my nipples hairs.

It would be cool to just be like, I'm wearing nipple covers because I just don't like the way if you Stefano claims to have very puffy nipples, he definitely does. He has definite puffs. Yeah, there's nothing about that guy that I would say, Oh my god, I'm here to say that. I'm yeah, that was a really I believed her. I love that message alright. Next Casset, So this one is from I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing her name right, but it said, oh wait, what did she look like?

What did we think she looks? Oh? I forget what she sounded like. I mean I I hair, yeah, yeah, kind of a lot of hair. I pictured like a like a brown brown hair ponytail. I'm always picturing people in their car when they do this too. And so

she's wearing a seatbelt. She has on like a yellow shirt that's like kind of fitted and like it's like a little bit cropped, and she's wearing like Lulu Lemon joggers or like uh tights, and she was like sipping uh like like with a she has like something with a straw, and like she just has like she doesn't have that much makeup on, but her skin is like clear. Maybe she has like a little bit like she has

like uh, freckles makeup. I don't know what really, I feel like minimal makeup, but I think when she goes out she wears makeup. And right when she was doing that, she was like coming from the gym or going to the gym, or like dressed for the gym but not going to the gym that same thing. Yeah, oh my, okay, and likes and like just like okay, next one, you know what I mean? Yeah, Okay, this one is from

I think her name is pronounced Anisia. Okay, Andrew, Nikki and Noah, and I just wanted to share a recent cut that I saw. So I was recently dating a guy who I was explaining the Nikki Glaser podcast too, and how I listened to it on my way to

work every day. Um and we had decided to go out to do a movie date and we stopped at the bar because we had some time to kill and the bartender went to the middle of the bar and turned around and yelled at the waitress and she proceeded to throw a drink straight up in the air so that he could catch it. And he did this several times throughout the night. Each time he would scream so that everyone around him would look at him first, and

then he would catch the drink. And I just thought it was really funny because me and the guy was seeing totally looked at each other and we're like, that was so and it's just funny because I had just been explained the concept of cut to him. So I just wanted to share it out with you guys. Anyways, Thanks love the pod guys, Thanks Anisia. Um So, bartenders are some of the kiss people you'll ever see anyone who were in the bar industry because alcohol culture is

to begin with. But um, Chris, my my lover, Chris uh. He We've always made fun of people who bartenders who shake drinks and they have to do like they battle it and they get their shoulders into it, and it's just like just shake it a couple of times, like it does not need more than that, and they just but they're doing it so loud because they want attention. And that guy throwing doing a bar trick. It's all.

So I'm so happy that story ended the way it did, because I thought her date was going to end up being and I was bracing for like her night to be ruined on another day. I want to know it sounds like he likes this guy. This guy sounds awesome, by the way, because he embraced right away. He was down to hear about her interests. He's like adopting them. Oh she Um, I think he thought. I think she is has is a different ethnicity, like as a darker tone skin. I pictured like very straight black hair. I

pictured like very manicured like. She sounded like she has glossy lips, really, dewey skin, um, great eyebrows, long eyelashes, um, delicate features. Um. Really I bet her. I bet her hands are like I bet her hands are so soft and I don't know that she is like when I say well, manicured, not necessarily her hands. I bet her nails are manicured, but I don't think she has like long, like fucking fake nails and stuff, and that she wears

like cozy. Like she dresses like cozy and like kind of loose fitting clothes, but she always looks like elegant, but in like a cozy way. Interesting. I see like her kids being on our shoulders. Oh, I know what you mean. Yeah, they're up there. Yeah, because in the middle of that she was like, yeah she was that's what I saw. I don't know you here in the last recording the there was a in the background of a guy. It was so awesome that you caught a

cut during your recording. It was amazing. All right, let's do final thought. Okay, um, here's just yeah, go hear it. I know I'm doing Nikki. This is Pablo calling in from London. I'm a major bestie Nikky found from way back when she was doing You Up and Not Safe. So I've been listening to the pod from episode one and I've always wanted to call in, but I was always afraid that I had nothing funny or interesting to say.

But now my time has come because I have something you uful to say, and I think that's way better. Um So, I was listening to the fun facts from Stephen South Africa into these episodes and he said the words that none of you quiet go. I was listening, and I'm pretty sure I know what he said. I'm pretty sure he said I slowly. So I think he's he hates the sound of someone boicing into a nice slowly and a nice lowly is just what they call popsicles in the UK and Africans uh sometimes us British

words when they speak English. Um So, yeah, I hope that was useful to someone, and okay, that's good. Um I love this guy. I just want to hug this Okay. I know what Pabla looks like. He's not a big guy, No, he looks like justin Timberlake. He has curly blonde hair.

I know that's crazy curly blonde hair with and he has tiny glasses, and he's wearing a turtleneck and he is up at a desk and he has many books around him, but he has He's very hot, but like in an understated way that if like he's almost like nerdy hot where you have to take off the glasses and be like wait, oh my gosh. He's like like

he's he's bookish hot. I don't know. I see him like an all leather with like a wooden spoon in his mouth and he's biting down on it and he's like, oh, like, I know what you mean, Like that kind of guy with the biting down on the wooden spoon guy with all other Yeah. Like I think he's like out like outside on a building, threatening to jump, and everyone's like, WHOA leave the fan Rex first, that's right, And he's got like a snake on a leash. Yes, okay, yeah,

I know we know that guy. Yeah, we all know that. This is my new favorite game. Is I actually try and you say the most surged? Oh man? Um oh yeah,

so ice lolly. It's a popsicle and and I that sound not a People were saying that they don't like the sound of like the teeth scraping on the wood part of the what is biting through a popsicle that isn't like isn't melted yet, and it's just like like that sound of like a really oh boy, I don't mind the party hitting the wood part, but I just don't want it breaking through the ice part or the part or the ice lolly. The red one so it's like really cheap red ones. And they have like that

gelatin on the side. For some reason, it's just congealed like sugar syrup that's like too thick and like it's all settled there. It's like melted at one point. And then yeah, ever die rappers? Oh yeah, I love white rappers. You ever did you ever dive into long ice pops that were like really you could buy like seven, like four bucks, the plastic bag that you like, they're in plastic, those ices. Yeah, those things are so good. The blue was the best, dude, I can knock down. I'm not kidding,

knock down them at a time to see. Yeah, they're like diet cokes. Still, I'm still off the sauce by the way, going strong off diet coke. Get you know what, I'm not getting off. Don't get off, don't get off. It's it's fine. Drink them around me. Um, but I it's I miss him. I miss him so much. She's talking about, Yeah, diet cokes, I really miss that. Um, just that first step it's almost like a cigarette, Like, you know, I just with the first puff of a

cigarette's the best one. The worst part of a diet coke is like the last set. Well, the frizes died, the frizz frize the spice, it's just the frienz is dead. Also, here's the thing. Have you ever tried to drink a diet coke when you're really thirsty? Yes, you cannot. It's the worst possible. It's so weird. Oh, like when you're really thirty and you're trying to chug it to like get your just any kind of um oh yeah, because

they're not really hydrated, like a hangover. And my mom always would chug diet coke when she was hungover, and I would always love diet soda when I was hungover because there's something about the seltzer that like soothes you. The flavor you need something. But I mean, isn't that so funny that nothing tastes better than water when you're thirsty when you're Oh my god, last night, I woke up in the middle of night and I felt like

I had a cactus in my mouth. And it turns out it was a porcupine that you picked up we gotta go, and but you drunk chug water and you it's just the most delicious thing. It was insane. I had like three of the smaller ones and it was the water is so hard for me to drink when I'm not thirsty and I know I need to, but when my body tells me I need it. Oh, it's almost like worth waiting till you're super thirsday because of

how good it tastes. You feel so human. When you just chug water and it tastes good, you feel so like, yeah, it's it's a it's a coke. So leptern uh you guys, thank you so much for listening today. Thank you all the busties who are just die hard busties that listen every show. Even if you don't listen every show. We love you so much. Thank you for listening. You're so

sweet and I love you. And make sure you you know, watch us on YouTube, subscribe to our channel, and also, uh definitely get on Instagram and subscribe or you know, follow Nikki Glazer Pod because we go live a lot on there. I don't go live on my own Instagram ever, I only go live on on this on our Nikki Glazer Pod Instagram, so make sure you follow that because we do really fun stuff on their. Love you so much, have a great weekend, don't be and j Jack chest

like Jack Jack a jacked chest. Okay. Also with you're an NBA team there signed Meyers Leonard so just do it. H