#166 I Yolked

So I I still don't know anything. And if you just kind of mumble it anyway, yeah, and um, you know I took Spanish for six years in college, so um, I know nothing. Um, so you know, I I pretty much know. Uh liked I asked to go to the bathroom. My other thing is like it's like much pleasure, like very well. I only know that from Mujo Gusto. I'm over. I'm um. Andrew did point out a great thing about

me being in a foreign land. Um is that I always had confusion about doors because it says push or poll and I only read the first half of things. As you guys know, books, signs, and so I always just read puh and I don't know if it's saying push or poll, and I usually just suck it up, you know. But in Spanish it's jallet, which I'm saying

that wrong. It's jail or it's the other one sounds like an agelle, yes, helle, and then the other one's like emperor, emperor, emperor or jail and Andrew goes, now you'll know, and I go, oh, yeah, Now it's even more confusing because I don't know what those words even me. It is tough when you're with your boyfriend and you say push out. Yeah. I hate when I tell him to push out and he just comes all in you.

It's so funny. We were also talking today about how um Andrew captioned a video yesterday of him, the one that I posted on our the Nicki Glitzer social um. He posted on his personal one. He wrote a cap what was the captain again? I said, when you nut? So the joke was based off the one you nut and she keeps sucking okay, so, which I don't know that. I guess I've seen it a couple of times. But guys do videos where they're like face. I hate that. I hate like when I nut, I don't want to.

That's why. That's the point of it. They're saying like, it's like those too sensitives, too much. Yeah, yeah, no one likes that. You thought you were the only one. You were missreading those videos, So that was the point of those. So he does the dance and he wrote and he was making a joke off of when you nut and she keeps sucking. I go, when you nut, and then she makes you coffee and then you have a nice emotional conversation while staring at each other in

the eyes. Yes, And I was like, um, you know, he said, I forget how we got on the I was like, oh, I want to start. He was just saying, saying, you nut is the funniest thing. This is the dumbest thing. Just be like a nutted. It's the dicker down guy, Like I nutted hard after I dicked her down. Yeah, it's it's pretty cool. I don't know who the dicker down guy is or just a guy who says that it's my it's my step step uncle, Bobby. Is it is that? What's his name? You want to know A

funny story. So my stepsister uh was married to this guy Bobby, and Bobby wrote on Facebook that she hasn't come home all night and that he thinks he's cheating on her and she came home with a hickey. He wrote this on Facebook. No, when was this years ago? About a probably like two years ago. She's with a guy now with a mullet who has a Mustang whose lights never go off, like the front lights never turn off, the separate general or something. Okay, this my over headlight

onto my cars. I gotta jump it. This guy was like fucking delivered in a fucking tub of jim bean, like like he's such a bad So I figured out out that. Yeah, so um so then she some guy writes on his thing and he goes, hey, man, you know what you gotta do. You just gotta dick her down real good, and like that'll keep her, that will keep her from getting a hickey. He gotta dick her down, and it's just like it's pretty cool. So that was

that was one of the comments on the post. And so he left her right is his girlfriend or his wife? I don't know if they ever got married because you just naturally saw it, or was the whole family like dude, go on Facebook right now. It's going down pretty much.

That Okay, I was gonna say that is so hilarious to air something like you know, when you get it's almost like, I don't want to compare it to the Taylor Swift thing that we covered yesterday, but her sending off that tweet in response to that guy was such a knee jerk thing. Yeah, I know she did that, and she was with someone who was like, do it, do it. She was in a place where her team wasn't. I mean, it was a good move for her PR wise,

but yeah, Bobby's PR team wasn't around at that time. Mechanics. I just I could almost guarantee you what the situation was where Taylor sent off those tweets. And I think that especially the follow up one where she's like and by the way, I wrote this tweet all by myself. It was just she pitched it like I've been in

that position so many times. I don't I think that those moments where you put something out there where you're when you're in in a state of anger, when you're in a state of like high emotion, get away from all. It's like when I'm on used to take the nuts,

get it out. But when I used to take ambient, like the first I remember when my friend lent me some ambient because I was going through a really hard time and I had taping the next day and I wasn't sleeping, and I remember I put all of I put my phone in the other room, I turned it off. I used the actual alarm cluck in the hotel room, like on the nightstand, because I was like, I don't want to I don't want to have a Roseanne moment,

you know, or just put out something really weird. And then I ended up being prescribed ambient for a while, and I remember I never had an issue with it. It may have said this on the podcast, except one morning I woke up and I had overnight on my Instagram story because I checked my story the next day late in the day. Just you know, when you review your own story and you go, God, I'm so interesting. What are people saying of me? You know, when you look at your own story and you're like, what am

I putting out? Like how am I perceived? God? I'm so cool? And most of the time I'm just like, God, you're lame. But I look and I go who fucking hijacked my story? What is this? And it was me promoting Tom Papa's special, which I had not seen, and saying how funny it was, which I guarantee it was funny. But Tom Papa, it's just such a weird thing to do on ambient. It should be on one of the side effects. You may promote Tom Papa and ambience may um, yeah, give a quote for him to put on his next

book or something. Yeah, you're like fun for the whole family. You just start writing like, isn't like arrested development great? And it's like what that was ten years ago? I was just friendly, but I was still lying, you know, because I hadn't seen it, and I phrased it in a way like I had seen it, which I don't usually do. If there's a new special, I'll be like, I can't wait to watch this much A lot of times I won't even watch it, But it is true.

I can't wait is actually a lie. I'm always when people say I can't wait, I'm always like, yes, you can, because you have to. It's not coming out till or whatever. Are you gonna kill yourself because you can't? You just can't wait? You can. I took every time I would take AMBI, and they're like, I feel like it puts so much pressure on you to go to sleep. It's like when I take a zanex, well you have to go to that. Take it when you're ready to go

to see But I don't do that. I don't. I don't do it so it will put them to sleep. But it has to be like when you're ready to close your eyes and make a concerted effort to do it. Which if you're not willing to do that, what are you doing anyway? I don't know what. You're not even trying to that's your problem if you If you can't get to a place where you close your eyes in bed and you just try to sleep, then you don't deserve embim because you don't you're not even trying in

the first place. Your whole thing of I can't sleep is like and I'm not saying people who need ambient you know, do it. I mean it helped me a lot for a while. Um, but I wanted to say the thing about nutting that we came up with. I want to start saying, because I say, jack off it jerk off for masturbating and it's become such a like just I I use it and people always laugh and I forget that it's not something women say like I'm gonna go jerk off, but it just to me is

just natural now. But at first it was funny, you know, and I want to start saying nut. But Andrew and I was like, why can't win and say nut because we come to like I'm gonna nut and he was like, well, you don't have nuts, and I was like, wait, oh, yeah, we don't have balls. And actually nut probably comes from the fact that the seed is in the nut, which the seed is sperm, and we have an egg, and I was thinking, what's inside an egg that we can be like that we and so we're calling it yoking.

I yoked would be called egg egged him because you don't put eggs all. You don't put like it's almost like the casing that the the the yolk actually is the egg and then the egg whiting, the egg white is the stuff is Maybe the more the come I agree with yolks think it does. It looks exactly like yolks, I know, but I'm just thinking now that the nut is the balls, right, So the egg would be no, then we don't know enough about Women's Anatomy or anyone's anatomy.

Um talking about this, I don't I do know about the maybe the first couple episodes, the first season, and I can't believe that show has been on for like I think, so, yeah, who knows. I think that's going to be like Cockroaches, where it's like the world will like there's being apocalypse and the only thing that exists is like a t V that's still playing Grey's Anatomy and it's we don't know how they're making it. And then also Cockroaches. I yoked and now and he still wait, No,

it goes, it goes. I nudded when you nud and she she keeps sucking, and so it's when I yoke and he keeps licking. Yeah, or eating? Oh? Eating eating is so gross? Why does eating? Plus he sounds so nasty? I don't know. Can I play something that I just found that I love? Um? We were talking about um. Oh, so I had to restart my computer today and I was talking about how why does that fix everything? Which it truly did. I couldn't connect to the internet. I

restarted my computer. Boom, you said it was a lot like blowing into the game disc or hitting your Nintendo or I hit my remote control on my head. Yeah, if we have millennials or like gen Z's listening, you might see this often as a meme. But like on Superintendo, you would take out the games and you go like it's so, but it would work, and it was kind of fun that it worked. Did you play Supernintendo No, yeah, of course. And you would to put the cartridge in

like so it clicks a little bit and like pass in. Um. I don't remember that one necessarily, but I remember you know how the purple buttons that you slide to turn on If you did them both, it would like restart the system. Do you remember Game Genie. Game Genie was insane. Yeah, but Game Genie, let me just take you through what that was. You would have a Nintendo game that you would put into the system. If you got Game Genie, which my cousin j D did, Rest in peace. He

died from Game Genie. Um. He just couldn't stop playing an intend So you would put the Nintendo game into the Game Genie. It was like a separate cartridge that it would fit in, and then you put the game Genie into the thing and game Genie would unlock everything that you would need to do. It would get you, It would make you have all the powers and all the things that you needed in the game. It was insane.

It would just like it was like, I don't I don't remember ever being excited about something that was game Janie because bumper pads of bowling. Yes, yes, it was awesome. I loved Supernintendo. Can I just say Mario Kart Super Mario Brothers too. I didn't like three. I didn't like that little raccoon tail. Do you play with dudes a lot? I just played with my cousin j D. Donkey Kong Country, Holy Ship, Donkey Kong m my favorite Mario Kart guy Oh Yoshi. It was the fastest. And then I loved Um.

I mean, Aladdin, though, was a fucking sick game. And sometimes I will just pull up old YouTube clips of the Aladdin game. There's any bessies out there who played Aladdin for any s um Supernintendo, please reach out to me, because that was fucking great. You wrote a red carpet, there were stars, there was like a cobra that um. You know, when Jafar turns into a cobra in the sand in Aladdin? Did you ever see aladd did? Do you remember that part? So you know what to take off?

You know? And yes, all good, all good, all good girl, all good women. Well was this um? I don't remember. I just remember yeah, yeah, okay. So in you know, in Disney movies, there's like all those things, those little secret pornographic things that they snuck in. Do you know some of them there'll be a penis in the clouds or whatever. Well, you know, the first one was a

little or one of the first ones. I don't know the whole track record, Little Mermaid had a penis as the in the in the cover of it, on the cassette or on the VHS. There is a penis in his castle, like one of the one of the towers, one of the minarets. I only know that word from a Dave Matthews song. Yeah and then um and then also in uh Little Mermaid, which is one of the

most agregious ones that they did. They're the priest. At the end when Ursula is the brunette and she's getting married and she's walking towards Prince Eric to marry him, she kicks the dog. She's walking down the aisle and she kicks the dog and he's like, and U Prince Eric is just like spinny, I like hypnotized because that's why he's marrying her. And she walks up and the priest is like, welcome to the marriage of and um.

His he has a boner. He's an active boner that comes up and then like kind of wrestles around and then goes down. It's like and then I think the animators said, oh, Noah's found it. There we go, look, oh yeah, what it moves. I mean his nose is

more of a boner than his dick. Yeah, I mean it's insane that what that really as a kid when you would have to rewind and like it wasn't just you know, toggling, it was it was actually What I love about these things is that, like it was back in the day, it wasn't easy to illustrate, so like that was multiple, Like that took a lot of thought board those guys are, Yeah, that's true. I just heard

a thing on Chris's show. They they do a thing called Tuesday Tidbits where they just kind of say, like it's almost like the Reddit stuff I use sometimes where it's just like, here's a little fact that you didn't know. Animators don't put have their characters often have three fingers and a thumb like four fingers because they don't want to because it's just like it's just laziness and it saves money because it would take more time to have

more fingers, which I thought was interesting. But um, I love that they threw an extra finger in that guy's being and an extra dick on his face. Um okay, I think can I keep going through all the what were you gonna say? No? Go ahead, So then let's go to the next thing. Breathing in the Beast. I don't remember any being in Beauty and the Beast. Aladdin we have which no one knows very well. She knew right away as I said it. Jasmine is on the balcony. Um,

her tiger pet tiger is uh oh. Aladdin comes to the balcony and the tiger is just like, I'm sniffing this guy out, being like who is he? And he kind of goes up to him, and a Land's going like oh, he's like kind of backed up, almost falling off the balcony because the tigers like trying to like growl at him, and he's like, calm down, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, and he goes. All good teenagers take off the clothes, and it's just a very all

good teenagers take a good ten. However, I don't think. I think it's just misheard. And once you listen, it's one of those things of like some teenagers. You know, it's all good teenagers. It's only eighteen and up at eighteen and nineteen. I'll get eighteen just to keep it leave and one fourteen year old who I met, like, um, So there's that. And then in Lion King, we have at one point Simba as a teenager I believe, falls down in like a homp, like he's like tired, and

all this dust swirls up into the clouds. And I think that's the one you're remembering where there's like a penis in the sky, but it's the dust forms um a shape that says sex and no. You can probably look up that image sex Lion King of it dust and we can see that um. And you can also go to our YouTube page and watch our podcast live. I guess it's like not live if you're an illustrator too, and you're like just thinking about cartoons all the time.

You're probably like so in the need of like thinking about sex all day and you're just drawing like things that kids would like. So then you're like, I'm gonna put sex in the sky. People kind of nutting, You got a nut there's a little secret for them. Do you see how it's has sex? I mean it's written on there. That's not how they did in the hilarious That would be so funny if that. Do you see it? It looks like it's a sex I mean it's you

know what, It could be a mistake. Now, let's keep going. Now, then we go to um, there's another one from won King. If you look in the sky, you could just see it. It's it's from the poster. The poster has a thonged woman as Oh my god, I see it perfectly now, so the line in came now there, you know what. Another thing I just heard yesterday and Chris's show as well, is the super Bowl logo this year. Pull it up, Noah.

The super Bowl logo for this year. They tried to do a thing inside the logo that it looks like palm trees or something because it's in l A. I guess, is that right. I don't make Miami. I don't know. I don't know, um, but it looks like it's dripping blood. It is the worst graphic design I've ever seen. I saw something the other day where it's a robot reading a book inside the nose of a of a what

oh like where you see things and that's what everyone's seeing. No, like inside the Chicago Bull If you pull up the Chicago bulls logo, you can see a robot reading a book. If I was good at a photoshop, it'd be so funny to just put like the most hardcore porn in the corner of like the Simpsons or or like duck Tails and be like, do you guys see this? And it's just like the most like agree, just human fucking you'll ever see in the top corner there that one. Oh,

let's see. Yeah, that's disgusting, isn't that terrible? Yeah? That looks like they're like CTE inside their heads. Oh my god. I want to share with you a thing that I saw. Because I often see things in um, like I see dicks sometimes and things or just different shapes in things. This is what I found. I'm going to send it to you. Noh. Um. I remember I was so depressed. I was in Omaha. I was on the road with

um I guess, uh, Greg Warren and Tim Convey. They were all driving to Omaha and I, um, yeah, well, let's take a break, and let's take a break and we'll come back with the dick that I found and Noah will put it up a thing. Welcome back to the show. We're about to show a penis that I found um in in a hair dryer. Word. I was sitting on the toilet in a hotel room in Omaha.

I was so fucking depressed this weekend and I look up in my hair dryer cord has taken the shape of a bent penis and it has balls and everything. Get ready for this? Wait okay, wow, wow, yeah right, that looks like ironwork, Like it looks like the guy that draws without picking his pencil up that you put on the wall. Oh yeah, oh my god, that's so what it looks like. I like the balls have in the infinity sign to like there's so much coming there,

like it's forever, it's endless. So we're in Mexico and um, yesterday was our first day, UM like full day here. We arrived the day before. UM, Andrew and I did the podcast, we went to launch, we talked about the show that we're going to be making, which was really fun,

very excited to do that. UM, and then we went our separate way is Andrew, I want to talk about what you did during your day and and and then I mean, you know, I've heard stories about how does like a golf mecca and you know, I brought my clubs and I'll make it short because I know everyone loves golf so much that listened to this for but uh, yeah,

so I found I went. I was just looking for a driving range, and I honestly didn't think I'd find somewhere that was like cheap and easy to I don't know why, Like every time I tried, do you ever get this? Like when even though this convince yourself, anything you try to do is going to be either expensive or there's going to be some roadblock. Yeah, and I can't. And I like, I get to a new city, even if it's a small town, and I'm like, what do

you do? How do you get somewhere it's like there's four people in the pro Shop, like no one's like everyone's chill, dude. I feel like this is so relatable. Everyone in my family keeps texting me being like, are you having such a good time? And I'm like, I'm paralyzed because I it's not because I'm like the culture is different and I'm scared. It's just like any literally it is outside of the US. I just feel like I am a bother to people because I'm American and

I'm just like a dumb American. I feel like I don't I'm just gonna look stupid. I'm going to pull doors that say push, I'm going to I can't figure things out, and I feel like everything's gonna be more expensive. I'm not going to have the right money. I'm not gonna have the I d to do it. Like, I just feel like I literally im paralyzed here. And I was thinking today like I have to make a Yesterday. I made it concerned after to do something and it was so hard to not just stay in my room

all day. So you had it in your mind it was going to be so difficult and that was gonna be I didn't have a car here until I saw Jen, our friend Jen, and She's like, why don't because we were going to split a car, but we're not stay in the same hotel. Yeah. And so then Jen had a car and I was like, do you think I could use it? Well, your names on on it, whatever.

She ends up letting me use the car, which then like kind of opened me up to being like oh and then you're like, oh god, now I have to Yeah. Well yeah, But I also was like, if I had to uber somewhere for some reason, Uber in another country, you think they're gonna they might kidnap me and murder me, even though like it's like the I put these thoughts on like like or like it will take seven hours

for them to show up. I'm not gonna have the right app It's not gonna do it, or it's like yeah, I mean, honestly, I was saying to Bill and you yesterday a friend, I was like, I'm I miss Cayman so much. And I felt the same way in Camean Island. I remember when we got out of quarantine. You were like going to the gym, you were going to the little grocery store across the street, like little things, And

I was like, what's it like out there? I was just I needed someone to like hold my hand through it. And then and then I ended up knowing that place so well that it felt like home. And I'm missing it so much now because I just want what I know and I'm gonna feel that way. I'm going to force myself to get to that place with Cabo before sooner I got I'm I'm like so whatever. So I

go to this one golf range. They don't have a driving range, they just have like a practice facility, and they're like, well, there's a driving range five minutes up this way. I go up like this kind of hill, like kind of cliff driving up and it's like through model homes and whatever. And I'm like, God, this place is gonna be so freaking expensive. Can I get there?

And I'm like I walk in and I'm like what And everyone's so chilled there, like hey, let me carry your bags like you know, like whatever, like like just like and so I end up I get there four and the driving range closes a four, which was a little sad, but it's ten dollars for an hour of unlimited balls and then twenty dollars from balls all day long. They're open seven to four, and then I go to the guy. I was like, hey, you think I could

get on WHENLY play nine? He's like, don't tell anybody, but I'll give you the special rate, and I think he prices that. Why did you only play sixteen? Because there was two three foursomes that I skipped at the very end because I caught up to them because I was playing by myself. What what did you just say, I don't four people are playing on one hole, so four guys are playing together, so they take longer, got it? And you caught up to them, and so you just

skipped that like two on the front. What did you say? No? I thought you joined their game, like you were trying to catch up to them so you could play with them. Right. See, we don't speak off so it was important for us to do so. Anyways, long story short, so I get out, I play sixteen, and then in the morning I woke up this morning, I was like, I don't know if I wanted and then I wake up way yeah, yeah, I've been I'm like a new early morning riser. Wow.

Is it because living with Brenna partly? And then I just I don't know. For some reason, while I'm here. I really want to like work on my ship and like be like more organized and like really become good at because I have time right now other than are doing. But like if I wake up early enough, I have time. Absolutely I was doing. Man, I did the same thing yesterday of like, I'm going to be different here every set, and I will say, what did you have it? So this morning you woke up and went and so I

ate breakfast. I had my breakfast, I had my eggs with my fruit, and then I drink coffee and I was like, I'm just gonna work. I was like, no, you know what drives the course? It's only five minutes, not like far, but like I go there and the sun is coming up over the ocean. I have shorts on. It's the dude. I put a video It's fucking wild,

and I just hit balls for an hour. And then they have like a practice facility that's like like this course is it's called cup I don't know if I want to say it, because but like, um yeah, anyway, So like I got out there and I'm like really looking around and then I'm like, okay, I'm taking into surroundings and finally I don't know like it hit me like halfway hitting balls where I'm like, you're you're fine, You're home, like not home, but like you can just

breathe now you gotta do you gotta do ship. I felt that way. Um, Like I always feel this way on vacation. I don't want to leave the resort. I'm too especially out of even in Hawaii, which feels like away from the US, like and even you know, when we're on the road, I don't want to go out. Like it's just what I don't know scares me so much, and I really am looking to like I've I mean, I always like to share when I'm just like not

doing that well because people can always relate. But like it's not like I've not been doing well, but I just cannot sleep enough lately, which you know, it's some people go nick you work so hard, it's just your body catching up. I know enough about sleep that you don't catch up. It's like I'm just a little bit depressed.

Sleeping makes me when I'm sleeping, I can't do work, and so it gives me an excuse that It's almost like putting my my phone on airplane mode or like when i'm it's the only time I'm not able to be in touch with someone. And I have a good excuse. I was sleeping, even though it's like you know until but here's you know, I get in bed at like ten. Sometimes I'm like, why isn't later, you know, like I want, I'm seriously like there's something going on where and I

stay up until like two. But I just I know, I know, I understand. No, No, I'm not trying to like like it is the sleep to turn your mind off or is it just so that you don't have to do the work they turn my mind off to. It's for both because if if people aren't able to get in touch with me and I'm not having to, you know, I should be writing my book right now. I have my agent, you know, writing me an email once a weeking like just checking in on how it's going.

And then I have this woman that's helping me write my book. Hey, just checking in. And I know that they're only doing it once a week because they know that if they do it every day it's going to

be annoying. But they're thinking about it every day probably, And so I have that, I have my special that I'm supposed to reviewing, and that wouldn't no matter how good I get it watching myself every time I finished my notes and I sent off the next batch of notes, and then they go, we did your notes, here's the new next version. Boy do I not want to watch it again? And it just takes a whole another thing. So there's always something I think everyone can relate to this.

There's always something I could be doing that would be something that would um be good for other people. Whether it's calling my aunt back, who calls me all the time, my Aunt Sally, and I never call her back because she talks very slow and it's I gotta focus, Oh my god. I mean most people I wish I could do double the speed um, but for her, I do quadruple because she is We got to call Aunt Sally some time on this show. I mean I could call

her today on the show. It would be awesome to the final just to do something with her, because I really do need to call her back. And I was thinking about yesterday. I was like kind of riddled by anxiety about you know, Bob dying and me being like, man, I got to reach out. There's so many people if

they died tomorrow. I would be so mad looking back at our text exchange of me not getting back to them and feeling like shit about it, and like, oh, only I never responded to that sing I never birthday the other day. I never forget people's my like you know my if it's almost like phone numbers. If you're a new friend, like Noah, I cannot tell you when your birthday is. I know around the time, that's the date. Wise, I don't know what it is. Andrew, I know your

birthday because but what is it? Um? Yeah, and Marilyn Monrose and uh Andy Griffith and um, I've con on Brian's birthday. That's so dope. You know what when your birthday again? April? Oh yeah it was. Yeah, I'll never forget a again. And I and I because I only know my best friends from high school because anything, because

those are it's like phone numbers. I remember their phone numbers, but I don't know new phone numbers because they're just in my phone and just like birthdays, they're just on t Still remember your home phone number, like from actual phone long ago, from when you were a kid. Yeah, and it's it's disconnected so you can call it A nine no one cares, don't. You can make up any number and we'd be like, wow, cool zero. Um. But

I for the other day. It was my mom's birthday on the twenty two, and my mom I had a fitting that day. I had to go trying to but I had a raging U t I. By the way, my ut I came back as soon as I finished my antibiotics. Um, and I have I have a inkling about what it's about. I want to talk about that in a second. But I had a U t I that was like coming in and it just feels for me. You t eyes are not burning burning sensations that a

lot of girls have. Mine is it burns when I pe, But it feels like good almost like I'm like, oh, it feels like you've been holding it in a while. It doesn't hurt. Um, it's like a good pain that I like. It's the pressure in your lower abdomen. It feels like you're pregnant with angry sand that won't move. And then you also have to ship and it feels like you have cold, hard, cemented ship and like I get, it's terrible. It hurts so bad. The pressure was so

bad and hurt on my stomach underwear. The band on my underwear, the loose band on my underwear was oppressive to me to wear. And I just posted a picture last night of me on at Supernova on stage, and I'm so bloated. And I had to wear all these tight jeans because it was the only thing I had. It was so much pain, and I just I couldn't sleep on my stomach because it just felt like I

was pregnant. It felt awful. So I was struggling with that, and I had this fitting that I had to go to and trying all these bathing suits for f Boy Island and um, and then I it was and then I left and my I got a text that my mom. I sent my mom Wortle. You know the game Wortle. You haven't heard of it? Do you know the thing that people are posting where it's like those green squares and they have like a little score. You haven't seen it, but I didn't look into it. Wordle is the best

game of my life. No. You just just google Wordle and it's a game that comes up. It takes you two minutes to play. It's only once a day. You can't get addicted to it. There's definitely apps now that have you know, redone it. But it was this game this guy made for his wife and he worked for companies that you know, he he worked for Facebook or something like that, these companies where he knows what captures people's attention and he knows how to like take your time.

But he decided like, I don't want to make a game that does that. And it's just you guess a fire. Every day it's a new five letter word and you make a guess and then these little squares pop up and if it's a if, if the letter that you guessed is a yellow square, that means that letter is somewhere in the word, but that's not where it is. If it's a green if the if the letter in the five letter word that you guessed is green, that means that letter is in that phase. No, those are

the hints. So if it's green, that means so let me guess. So what if I guess cream okay as a five letter word and C is green, I know that the ned in the in the in the E is yellow. I know that C because it's green is definitely this word starts with C C and then E is somewhere else in it, and then your keyboard lights up of words. And then if it's gray, that means that that letter. So each letter you find out if

it's in it, if it's in the right place. If it's in it, and it's not in the right place, it's it's yellow. If it's in it, it's green, and if it's gray, it's not in it. And that's all you need to know. And you, guys, it's so fun. Every night at twelve o'clock, I wait for twelve o'clock to hit, and it only does your time zone, so it's not like you do East Coast twelve o'clock, and it changes every day and it's so fun and I have connected with like it's like our favorite thing. No,

there's hints, it's like there is strategy in it. That's what makes it fun. But there's also luck involved. So anyway, what was I saying about word al Because my mom loves word games And then my mom's like, i'll download it later. I have people over for my birthday and I'm like, oh, fuck, you want to remind me? And

I go, Mom, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot. I have a U T I I have a fitting and then um, and I was smart though, because I did go wild on Lulu Lemon and send her a bunch of presence, like on the seventh I thought it advanced, which I never sent presents in advance. And I then the next day is Kristen's birthday. I know this, and twenty three my whole life has been mom Kirsten. The next day I forget Kirsten's fucking birthday, and I come go,

it's before I realized, oh my god. And let me say, throughout the twenty three I did think of Kirsten's birthday, but I was doing other things and I was like, oh, as soon as I get off of this call, I gotta make a video for Kirsten, because I usually just send a video being like I love you so much. So I sent her a big text of like I love you so much and everything like that. But man, it's just not like me to forge It's like me to forget buying people presence and not being good about

shipping things and stuff like that. But in terms of reaching out to people via text, I just felt like a shitty friend. And and I've been sleeping, so I slept till Sunday was my first day off and forever, like really day off. I slept till three pm and I went to bed. I fell asleep at ten pm.

I slept fifteen hours straight through because of this U T I. And let me just say, I was in so much pain from this U T I and felt so sick and like down that I think God had a doctor that I could email and be like, can you give me antibiotics? And she was like, hey, you haven't seen me since two thousand eighteen, I'll send this one in, but you need to check up, like you need to pick me at some point. But she sent in the prescription and she sent it in and I

couldn't go get it because I couldn't move. And it just made me think about people who are so sick and have to go get medicine and wait in line at CVS or go through the drive through and thank god they let other people grab them for them. Now, Yeah, but like what if you don't have someone else, I would just honestly I would have just died from a kidney infection with how sick I was and how I couldn't move, and if I didn't have the money to send a a friend or hire someone to go get

it for me. I would have just dot literally delivery before I figured that out, like before Google how to get this. I'm not kidding you. Like everything is so difficult. That's why we kind of like when the pharmacy is like, you don't need a prescription. My mom's prescription for her disease for cp D or in physema is in Like even if you were like the most like organized person and you were like five years old, you would have

a tough time. Like yeah, like my my sister in law, like bless her, she went through each thing and like made it like so like organized. But it's like you're saying, like these old people that are fucking talk about dying have to figure out literally like thirty pills, certain ones you take, some mornings, some things you skip it. It's fucking wild. Ten hours on the what about you need you need a helper, You need a helper going to get meds. It's so hard, and that's why I telehealth.

So many people told me about telehealth where you just do online consultations with the doctor and then if you need test done, they send you to a testing clinic and you just go and it's easy. Jen my assistant slash, you know, cotort manager, she does that. I mean, there's a right, like there's got to be an app that doctors make home calls. There's like this is that this little women days, This is a little black bag and

the little Yeah, they suck your mom. I don't know why I think of the doctor like sucking them, but it wasn't a doctor at the principle. I remember, this is my favorite line of any movie. He walks past forest and forests in there. He goes, he's patting his head because he just sucked his mom and he's sweating. He goes, your mama, sure does kill about your education. Oh my god, I remember that. It's such a good line. Mama, Sure it does scare about your education. But that was

I remember feeling that was so disgusting. I was so mad that Sally Field did that. Um. Even as a child, I remember like knowing like she she let his penis in her so um. But I uh god, we have so much to talk about, um, But I just want to say that Carlile went and got my prescription, thank God for her, and dropped it off at my hotel and she goes. She called my room. I was asleep again, and so she was like, I don't know where your hotel room is. I left at the front desk and

I was down. I I couldn't go down to the front desk. I was like, I just am going to let this infection. I'm probably going to get a candie invention because I can't move. And then luckily the front desk called me and was like, do you do you want us to bring this up? You've got a delivery, and I'm like, yes, thank you, but I'm not kidding you. I almost said just leave it at the door, because even walking to the door was hard. I was such

I was such an invalid. And I'll tell you the second I took a fucking mad the second I popped a pill in my mouth, it went away. Now what that tells me is that yes, antibiotics work, but not that fast. I will it. It was definitely there was a placebo effect in place because I knew the relief was on its way, so I almost like got excited

about it. But then Carlile sent me the Louise Hey book, the Heal Your Body book that I bought but I didn't bring with me to l A slash Mexico and I whenever I have an ailment, I look it up in that book to see, like what the mantra is or what it's about mentally, because everything starts up here. And she sent me the mantra and I put it on my Instagram story and it was UM. I loved it because it's so it's what it what it's um,

it's usually about being piste off. This is for my U T I usually at the opposite sex or a lover blaming others. And so my mantra is I released the pattern of my consciousness that created this condition. I am willing to change. I love and approve of myself. And I was thinking, I've never been happier in a relationship, and this relationship in the eight years him and I have been seeing each other off and on, I feel so secure. I don't know what this could be. This

is not about the opposite sex I am. I have no resentments to him that I can even conjure, like all the ones that I've used to have are like really worked out. And I feel so good. And I realized, holy sh it. The first one U T I got came on on the day that I started feeling like, oh my god, this guy is like it for me, like really it, And then the second one came on,

let me be honest, after that round of antibiotics. It came on again a couple of days later, but it came on literally the day where I was had to talk with him of like we're we're doing this, like this is this is good. We both like love and care about each other and just feeling so safe about it. And I was like, I think this is my body because I've never had a UTI in my whole life, and any was like it's probably from sex, dude, and like you do anal and I'm like, I've been doing

that ship all the time. And I'm more hygienic now than ever. My diet hasn't changed, nothing changed. The only thing that's changed is I feel secure in my relationship for the first time in my life, and I think it's my body, being like, girl, you're about to shut this down forever, like like your vagina is like done seeing anything new. Not that I'm like craving new dick generally, but there's some anxiety about being done, possibly in terms of like like I could not think about new dick,

like you have the dick you want. There's some anxiety in my pus. It's anxiety for sure thing. I'm saying, maybe it could be a good thing, like your pussy is saying like, hey, we're good here. Why would it fire up like a fucking because maybe you don't even think about wandering you ever, I said, maybe it's your

vagina's avoidant attached. Yes, that's what I think. My vagina is like giving one last like we're we're scared to be done and we're scared to maybe have a baby soon or like think about having a baby or whatever that is, which I'm not thinking about having a baby. But when you do find someone that really makes you secure, your body starts like like maturing, I guess in a way. And I think my body is like fighting having the last dying gasps, the death rattle of singleness, you know.

And that's scary to me because I've never felt secure in a relationship where I'm like, I've always kind of thought there'll be others because this is not perfect, and this is good for now, but not now. I feel like this is maybe good forever, and it's scary. So I think that's very I I'm not giving up. I'm not. I like the idea. Some people hate when things are

psychosomatic because they're like, no, it's it's my back. I like when it's something mental because it means I can treat it myself, and it means that there's things going on, like it's it's in my control, which I know it's not because if there's no free will. But do you know what I'm saying, Like I like when things are psychosomatic. I don't want to because honest, like, no, dude, it's your hormones changing, you're getting older. Yeah, there's poop like

in your vagina. And I'm like no, but it could be both, Like that's the thing I'm always there's Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You probably got poop on your yolk. Oh, we gotta get to the news. Let's do it alright, folks. We got uh some good stories here. It's Wednesday, so you know what that means. It is Wednesday. I believe that's mircreles in Spanish. Maybe I'm wrong in your French. Oh so yeah, so I'm probably right. Um, both hard

to spell. Uh, I don't know where that in? Why is it's in there and I hope you're having all the swells and uh yeah, so what do you just strit to buy out there? What's going on with there? Are you're looking over there? Oh yeah, you're just looking. I mean it's a beautiful view even though you don't have a few. Yeah, there's nothing. It's it's a hill with like literally, I'm in a basement of this resort and they tried to dress it up by building like a hill with I don't know what's beyond it. I'm

gonna go hiking today for about four feet and find out. Yeah, I mean that's gonna be it cold tub outside this like, I don't even know what it's supposed to be. It's a pool. I think Tony Robbins put it there. Yeah, it looks like one of those whim off like dunk tanks. But it's definitely not that. Definitely be a hot tub. It should not be a cold tub. I don't know what's happening. It's and it's murky. It's very bizarre. Okay,

what's in the news. A study finds face this satisfaction leads to exhaustion and burnout after video conferencing, so in short, if you don't like the way your face looks, staring at it on the computer screen for a long period of time is psychologically cost Yeah, dude, it's I mean, we're literally doing it right now, you know. That's it's. You know, this comes down to not liking your looks, which honestly, you're allowed to not like your looks and you're not allowed to be like, man, I wish my

face looked different. But if your face makes you like disgusted, you gotta work on that because it ain't gonna get better. Um, And you got to accept yourself. You gotta learn to accept yourself because there I see my face all the fucking time, and it was really difficult for me. Um, you know when I mean, it's always been difficult for me to watch myself or look at videos of myself or look at photos of myself right away. Later on, I can always be like, wow, you know you've changed

since then. But if you're looking if you're looking at your face right now, what would you That's a good question, because now people on YouTube can look at my face, I really have no problem. You know what I was thinking, I'm going to regret not brushing out my stringiness. I kind of have like an iggy pop thing going. But in terms of my face, like, I'm very happy. Let me be honest. I did have filler recently, so I had my under eyes filled here, and so I had

my lips injected. My lips look a little bit like platypus in a way that but I actually like it. Um. The thing that bothers me about my face the most, if I'm going to nitpick, is there's a lot of things. There's just a lot of space here, and it can look like just so I wanted to be more like mm hmmm, like, but you know what. I also in my eyebrows sometimes look like sperms and that bugs me.

But I promise you right now, for some reason, I just when it's just my face and it's in the moment and I can see it like this, there's nothing that really bothers me about it. I'm like, I'm fine the way I am. It's not the best face, but I'm good with it now. If I see this later, I'll go, what the funk are you thinking with that? But it's okay because it will be later and I

can change the thing that I'm mad about. But if You're constantly looking at your and sometimes I'm looking at Noah right now and it makes me mad because she's so pretty, and it will make me upset. You're so pretty, Noah. Okay, so what do you see wrong with your face? No? Right now? Oh a lot. I don't even want to point it. I don't even want to do it. Do

it will be interesting? Oh yeah, sorry, sorry, I don't want to make you do it, but do it so I can take a sharp right now and just market Yeah, for sure, because I have a couple of suggestions for you. I'm just I feel like my nose will look like the wire of the cord of the hair dryer, like the penis. Okay, room, turn it aside. Maybe we could see what we see in a Laddin or whatever. More side, No, your nose is not know what your nose is awesome and it's okay, this is what I wanted to know.

It doesn't matter. But the thing is, your nose does get bigger. And I was watching the Playboy documentary yesterday and Holly Madison, you guys, that is so good. A and E dot com. I can't wait to watch it's on Sling. I also don't those sling Holly Madison got her nose done and nose getting none. They all that's the same, and it is the tentpole to your face. Um, however, no, what what were you going to say about this article?

So I was going to say this article. The thing that stuck out was, Um, when I went to like photo shoots with you and you asked me to look at the photos because you just didn't want to look at your face like a thousand times, Like now that we're doing everything on zoom and I have to do a lot of conferences on zoom and this recording on zoom, I am not used to being on camera. And the article was like, oh my god, it's so true. I've just been like having to like force to stare at

my face so much. I'm not used to it. And now I really appreciate what Nikki was saying all those years ago where I understood kind of you know, I really understand it. So I think it's like you have to learn how to deal with it. Is some weird thing that people that aren't used to seeing themselves except in a mirror, which is look and it's a choice,

where a zoom is not a choice. But the thing is what I would suggest for people because I go a lot to a lot of twelve step meetings on ZIP, so women have to get dressed up more like for business, Like like you have a ten o'clock zoom call, I have to put makeup in my room for your zoom when you first get on it, and for your peace of mind. Make it so you can't see yourself and you can't there's options. Do that for yourself, girls, because and you'll go but I don't know what I look

like the whole time. Don't If you were in a board meeting, you wouldn't know what you look like the whole time. There's not a mirror, So just trust that it looks good at first, and then shut it off because honestly, you can't focus when I am. And then if you're bored in a meeting and you just want to like kind of mug to the camera and have

some fun, yeah, turn it back on. But like it's so distracting you can't hear what the other persons saying because you're like, sometimes you're just like I look so good. Like sometimes it's the opposite where you're like, oh my god, like I'm beautiful, look at how it looks like when I'm like actually like looking like I'm like, you know, like interested. Wait now that we have control right now, Andrew of like how we like, we have absolute control

of what this image looks like. Let's all try to do our face that we think we look the prettiest in or like the most hot. I can't yeah, okay, wait, why are we to the side, and Andrews? Because I look terrible from the side. My face falls apart from the side, it just becomes skinny. Do me lift up like this and open your mouth a little bit and go hi. That's my biggest trick. Noah's so pretty. This is my biggest trick for girls smiling and for my mom who always does this when she siles and I

used to do this too. It just makes sure you look like Wallace and Grommet when you just put your teeth together and you just sign like this for hecks her. It's so unnatural, the best thing to do. And who gives a funk really about any of this? But because you're lovable as you are, even if you don't have

a mouth. Um, But if you want to look the most aesthetically pleasing, tilting your head like up or like going huh, opening your mouth about it half an inch between your two both your bottom and lower teeth, going hey, when you style like for a picture, I always go, I always opened my mouth for a guy. It looks absurd. No it doesn't, No, it doesn't. Try that's cute. That's really good. That's good. A sea lion. Don't a friendly neighbor so much. Oh that's cute. I like. That's good. Andrew,

that's good. Wait, do your smile and er do like your smile in a picture, not trying to. That's cute. That's good, that's really cute. Okay, now try to do your sexiest face because I was focused on mine. I want to see yours. Yeah, that's good. Now tilted to the side a little bit. Someone told me to actually think like you want to suck me? Wait, Nick Vile talking one where you look up and you go huh and then they click right when you look up. So tell me when to look up. Okay, look up, you

look like a skater that just like sucking found new wheels. Um, it's uh no. But if you go, like, look at my eyes ready right now, I'll go I'm not gonna say fuck me. I'll just be like okay, now just think about, um, your protein powder right now and like power, Yeah, what do you want to suck your protein powder? Holy sh it? Okay, now think no, now I'm going to think about okay, no protein powder, just normal Okay, now think about sucking. You know what happened is calm started

building in your eyes? No, um, no, you you do. You lowered your kind of just squinted more. But I feel you could see it in the eyes. Let me try mine. Okay. This is this is by the way, if you're listening at home, this is a sign to go to YouTube. Yeah, I mean we have to give them something. They have to go in a couple of days. And if you want to go right now as you're listening to this, because you listen daily, just go subscribe. Even if you don't watch things on YouTube, just give

us a subscribe. Subscribe It helps everything, and and leave a nice comment. You know, we we really appreciate it. We love our listeners. Um, okay, so this is nice for that whatever. Regular face okay, regular face. Okay, just okay, now just think about just whatever, just like going about your day, okay, and now think seductive yeah that was yeah. Now you you you you kind of in a bit for me in the feminine energy. No, uh, it's not.

This is me being like masculine energy of like like it's like I can't even do masculine energy because I want to. I guess. Okay, let me see my face. If I was trying to like flirt with Taylor Swift because in a Taylor Swift relationship, in a lesbian relationship, I believe I would be the masculine energy. So would be like this, whoa, that is masculine. Yeah, okay, now this is me if with I'm if with a with a man, oh man, maybe combine them. That's why, because

that feels to me. If I see that guy in a bumble picture, that guy has fun and guys don't. I've said this all the time. Men need to smile in their pictures because you want a guy who's fun and although it's not like sexually threatening, put a picture in there that you're not smiling, and then the rest of them smile. And what do you feel about cap sleeves, um,

because this is the cap sleeve episode. If you are not watching on YouTube, we are capping our sleeves because Noah's shirt naturally does a cap sleeve muscle t um. Let's get to the next news story. Yeah, I just see forehead when I look in these things. You said, my forehead doesn't look big, but it looks normal, and then you can see like a losing hair, and so it's like, that's all I see. Man. I ran into a guy the other night, a comedian I told you

about him. Remember the comedian I told you that asked me out ages ago? He asked me out, Noah. I think this was during U UP days. He asked me out um one night and I was like, oh, I've always liked this guy. And we had like really flirty, fun energy one night and he was like, hey, do you want to go? We exchanged text. I was like, oh my god, I've always thought this guy is so cute, and he's having like a really moment in his career at this time, and he was feeling like he was

just adorable and funny. And he asked me out later that night and he was like, Hey, tomorrow, my friends is my friend's birthday. We're going to this place. Do you want to come dancing? And I was like, oh my god, this is you know post Dancing with the Stars, but I was just like, I don't really I don't drink, Like, how am I gonna But I was like, yes, I'll go dancing, like this sounds fun, So I said, yes,

that sounds so fun. The next day comes, I never hear from him the whole day, and he has written me the day, but this isn't like a week before. He just doesn't write me the next day, and so I went to the comedy store and I found his At the time we're supposed to be dancing, I just I didn't hear from him. So I just took a set and I went to the comedy store and I got his name from the marquis. You know the big when you have your name on the marquee at the

comedy store. It's like a big plastic uh strip that has your name on it, and they just throw it up. They don't do individual letters. And I asked for his name because it's like six ft tall, it's huge. And then I did a video where I was dancing with it, just to be like, oh, I'm dancing with this person, and I sent it to him being it was like I'm so I'm having so much One dancing with you, because I also saw in his story that he was at the place where he's dancing, and I'm like, what

the fuck. I ran into that guy the other night and immediately he's like hey, and I just I didn't recognize him because he got he got plugs, and that's not why I didn't recognize him, though I think other things changed about him too. He like looked taller. I don't know, but um, I was just he's he like looked at me, and I don't usually see him at this venue, and so I was like, you know, I just smiled because I thought he was like a fan or something. And then I walked by and I was like,

that guy looks familiar. I probably know him. And he looked at me in a way that was like we're friends. And then he comes up and he's like, hey, it's me and I was like, oh hi, oh my god, good to see you. And he got plug he's I go, I didn't recognize you, and he's like, it's I got plugs and they look great. Which I really do recommend guys get it if you can afford it and like

want to invest in it. But um I went on stage, he brought me on stage and I called him out on stage and was like, hey, remember when you asked me to go dancing that you didn't call me the next day and he was like, I go what happened there from the stage And I was intimidated, and I'm just like, I know you were probably that's the right answer, but like too late. And then uh, he was like, do you want to go dancing now? And I was like, no, I'm seeing someone too late, and um he texted me,

I'm I'm I'm not kidding you. As soon as I am locking it down with someone, men are coming out of the fucking tsking me out, and it's so nice to say you came about so you don't suck them. That's where my point was. That doesn't stop me. No, that's not I'm not that like I wouldn't want to suck these guys. It's not like that's what's stopping me, is my man, I wouldn't do that, But I know

I got what you're saying. You know what you're saying is just like due, my uber app keeps crashing, so I can't like go yeah, Like it's like your parental controls on your own pussy. Yeah, but it was. It is interesting that I keep getting us out. But it's so fun to say to them, Listen, if I wasn't seeing someone, I would definitely entertain hanging out with you. But I am seeing someone. And by the way, they don't go, hey, can I ask you out so we

can work towards having sex? They just go, hey, do you want to make me get a bite sometime this weekend? And then when I say, hey, I'm seeing someone, they go, I just wanted as a friend, and I'm like, no, you didn't, ye don't. And it's it's not bad that, by the way, I said that I would go if I wasn't seeing someone, I would entertain this, but I so, why are you covering it up? Like and also, okay, yeah, let me go over now as a friend. But the

thing is they think they still haven't. They think they hear that you're dating someone, and they still think that maybe it's not going well or something. I've been that girl before where I'm like, oh, well this is gonna fall apart. I should just get in there. But um, but most of them are one response I had and he's a listener, and so I'll say I really appreciate it, because he was like, I hope he treats you well. You deserve it. It It was a very nice thing. And

to that person, he is treating me well. And I felt like being like, you're the screenshots of the nice things he has to make to prove that this guy treating me well. Um, let's get to the next news story. We gotta go to break, we gotta go to break. Um, let's do that and then come back with why do I care? Or maybe just another news story that you like. Alright, we're back. Why do I care? Um? Why do I care? Mind? Do you care? Okay? Should we do Kim Kardashian is

how what makes her horny? Or do you want to do Kate Thurston antidepressants before Bachelorette? Or do you want to do the most embarrassing style trends the year you were born? Um? I wanted to hear about Katie Thurston, and then I might want to hear the other ones. But let's talk with Bachelorette Katie Thurston. I tried to watch The Bachelor last night that aired on Monday. I

couldn't do it. It is I'm so they did this whole group date where they're in a circle and they're talking about like they're sharing their like most like like their intimate things of like I grew up not feeling like I was pretty, and like one girl's like I grew up and everyone thought it was too skinny, and like, honestly, I do know that that's a real thing. Girls that are naturally skinny. People make fun of them for being antorexic, and there's you can be insecure about your body if

you're too skinny. But it was funny to see all these girls that around the circle just being like, yeah, but you were too skinny. That's like so sad. And then just all these beautiful people just being like I thought it was ugly, But the truth is, beautiful people think they're ugly more than not beautiful people. To be honest with you, as I've seen in my most beautiful friends, I just keep hearing a Marilyn Manson song while you're talking utiful people, the beautiful Oh my god, did you

hear about him? And yeah, okay, I love that. We all didn't see that coming. Um, okay, Andrew, uh, tell me about Katie Thurston And he took out a rib so he couldn't rape someone, Okay, anyways, we could take that. I thought that was flee Uh Katie Thurston. She started taking anti presents before the season. Uh Sparks. I once felt for life or doubts with judgment and criticism of not only strangers, but even once I worked closely with.

I was drowning, trying to articulate a little bit. Yeah, it's like you're drowned my tears blah blah blah, unable to even recognize the girl. But whatever, I started thinking, it sounds like when I'm gathering from this. Noah, let me ask you about the handle negativity. She took them. She took them because yeah, so it wouldn't affect her as much. Um yeah, I mean it was this before the season came out, so just to be prepared. She

was already getting these negative comments. She turned off her Instagram and like put her phone away and tried to

block out as much negativity. Do not if you go on a reality show as a normal person who was not used to being in the spotlight and you do not have fucking panic attacks about how then you then there's then you are superhuman, because it is I would never I mean I'm just I'm so grateful that I did not get famous and have people have opinions about me until I was in recovery for my eating disorder and listen, it started before, but it didn't get intense

until before um, and it's still not intense. I don't want it to get any more intense. I love the level of fame of Matt. I want my besties and that's all I need. Um, But there's nothing, like you said, Noah, being on Zoom and seeing your face you didn't sign up for. This is not what you a part of life that you wanted to stare at your face all day. That's why I don't even like going to the fucking hairdresser because you got to look at the mer the

whole time. And I'm like, this is like forced zooming. Um, if you're let's be honest. People think they want to go on a raility show, that's why they go on it. But it's Holly Madison in this playboys show called The Secrets of Playboys on Anny. I'm it's I'm watching it two episodes and it's great. But Holly Madison, who was on Girls next Door, she had so much confidence. Who's this, you know, small town Alaska girl so much confidence. Always

felt like she thinks she has aspergers. She's not diagnosed, but she's like, I think I have aspergers. So she's like me just diagnosing herself with autism. So she um. She had so much confidence and then being in the you would think that the validation of being has chosen

girlfriend would give her confidence. She was suicidal in there, like yeah, but he represents that the cog of being hot and like judging women and that harshly, like there's no as a woman when you get older and you get sexualized, and especially in entertainment, when people start having judgments about your body, and like you have to be in the spotlight so much, you just buckle up, buckle up, and we I just I gotta start something for young

women that just prepares them for this, because it's unavoidable in this day and age to not be judged to not you know, you were saying that to me about like you're like every girl got it. Every girl has issues with her looks, no matter how like just the more friends that people you talk to, it's like it doesn't no one avoids it. Men do too. I'm not

making this just a woman issue, but women. It's really interesting, like with women that get famous through like a reality show when they're younger and whatever deemed hotter, right, and then they have to then come out with a show of saying how horrible their life was just to be

able to garner It's not attention. But what I'm what I'm trying to think about though, is like it's like like you are doing it because you want to tell your story, but there is money involved because but then the other but but I'm saying the flip side tod that is like you're aging, so then there is no other option for you to make money. I found like

it was, Yeah, that's a good point. Well, I found that because I was watching a lot of this last night of these you know girls on the Bachelorette saying like I used to hate the way I look and and be honest, they all still do. These are young girls. They're not unless most young girls. I know, if we're get a group of twelve of them, I don't know that they've all had body four hours ago. I hated my face. Yeah, but I I've changed now that I'm on TV crying about it next to the guy I

want to marry better makeup. It's the thing I was realizing is that women who are sexualized and spend time in the spotlight and look like they're living the best life, it's almost like the pendulum will always swing the other way. It's almost all like these playmates, all of them. There's just like dozens of these women that like we're in hell and hate their bodies and like felt like abused.

It's there's always this other side of it that is so dark and sad, and it's like I just feel I feel for young girls who hate the way they look now because or like what that are struggling because I think about even myself now when I look at the mirror and I'm like, oh myself, It's like, bitch, this is not going to get any better for you in terms of like funck ability. You're only getting older,

so you better like yourself now. This isn't gonna If you can't accept yourself now your life, you're gonna be set up for misery. Almost. I don't know how to fix it. With age, you start letting go of some superficial things and then like you don't that's what I don't try to keep up. You don't try to like you're at it. You got you. You wen't just gotta wait for age to make you not give a ship.

You literally have to work. I remember being like knowing that my my face was gonna fall, things were gonna get worse and sagg ear and everything, and that I was in a mad dash to accept myself before that stuff started happening, because that the way I used to judge myself there was I wasn't going to survive that, and you do. You have to. It's not about like looking in the mirror and being like you're beautiful over and over. It is truly, um it's it's a spiritual process. Honestly.

It's about like accepting that it's not your faults. The way you look. It's not up to you the way you look, even though you think you you have some kind of say in it, it's not. And even if you were a burn victim tomorrow you would doesn't mean or like disfigured facially or you know, had some sort of condition that made you balloon up. Like those things can all happen like that. So do you kill yourself because of those things? If all of your worth is on this so you have to get to a place

where it's like I'm more than that. I think what happens is like you try so hard, whether you're a woman or also men, but like you try so hard, like for me personally, like you would try, like I gotta get my body right, I gotta look good for this spring break, Like I gotta like be as ripped as possible. I gotta like I can't have a receding hairline. And then what happens is you get a little bit older and you get to like thirty, and you're like, oh man, I'm older now, none of that ship matters.

And then you go almost the opposite of letting yourself go like I'm just an old man. Now, I'm just I'm a man, which isn't good either. So then you gotta find a way to be like, oh no, you can still exercise and like be you're like whatever, best self feel good. Yes, it's for your like working out for your mental health, not for your physical I mean, because when the mental is good, it goes outwards. You couldn't even stop it if you wanted to. It's all

about up there. That's why I'm just like this U T I ship I refuse to believe it's a physical condition. I know it's something going on upstairs about me not accepting the way the things are, or it's like ship in let's get to the Wednesday wild Card game of the week. It is uh and we're gonna play it.

In final thought, I love how we're I love how we're transitioning from like just this really like body positive, like feminist like energy into the most misogynist game I've ever encountered, which I want to thank Barstool Sports for putting out this game called Answer the Internet, which is a downloadable app, and Kevin Clancy, who is one of the guys from KFC Radio, which is but KFC was

the one that sent me. He did the grunt work of sending me the code so I could get the superpack of this game that usually have to pay for. So shout out to him, even though he trashed me on that podcast about my song for Bob. Okay, so, um, let's get to it. You even have a music career, just he Oh that's nice. Okay, then I'm back on team team plans. Um let's get to um. So we have we have definite um my deck's Okay, best of deck number one, Best of Deck number two. Okay, let's

do this. Start playing. I'm only one with the cards. So have you ever dated a person you banged on the first or second date? Have you ever? Yes, you've dated them? I fucking dude. I was like, dude, I can't believe I'm gonna date to slip no offense. But weren't you and Brenna? Like the third date just doesn't count that one? Yeah, so you're talking about someone else you dated second completely Okay it is I'm saying for its first or second most. I've only been in three relationships.

One girl I waited about seven months. Another girl, Yes, it was like the second date and then second day. Okay, but yeah, but you know what, yeah, I don't even know. No. What about you? Have you ever dated a person you banged on the first your second date? Yes? Her heart? You know what I mean? Yeah? Alright, my answer is no, but I would have liked to. They just didn't want to, all right, damn? Okay, Okay, Andrew, this one's for ye. Okay. Would you rather have one giant dick for an arm

or have all your fingers be dicks? This isn't real question. You guys. I wait, do you still have a dick? Another dick? A regular dick? Yeah? Then in that case, I'd rather have one dick being on an arm, okay, because I'd be pretty You don't get to answer it because we don't even know what to be like to have a dick? Okay? Would you rather have a vagina for an arm or five or five vaginas for fingers? I mean what then? Would even okay, would you rather

the would you? Would you rather be naked all the time or clothed all the time? I mean clothed all the time? Who who would want to be naked all the time? You couldn't live your life, can you? And what's hotter than like like pulling the panties to the side, you know, but that's not that's partly I don't know. That's well, these questions you can interpret them as you wish. Would you have to tell your mom everything sexual that you've done or have to show her your entire born y?

I'd rather show her my entire porn in history. She's not the younger when she was younger, I would definitely she's older, dude, when older, don't think like I like, yeah, gross? It was like before, like you even moved out of Chicago. Dude, Oh my god, what about you know, your mom hearing about every sexual experience you've had or your porn hitting me? Probably porn history because it would devastate her more, honestly, might oh, because it would devastate her more. Jesus Christ,

that is a great answer. Holy Ship. Um, that's so funny. It would kill her. Honestly, My porn history is so much worse than the things I've done. And I've done some really gross stuff, but my porn history is so much more embarrassing. I wouldn't even want to show my lover my porn history. You talk about your porn history all the time on here, Yeah, but I'm not telling you the real It's insane. Yeah, it's weird. I really feel weird about it, Tom Papa. And what's the other one? Uh?

Would you rather fight? Oh? This is the worst one. I hate that one. Um oh no, oh my god, this is the kiss. Would you rather be drunk twenty four seven or never drink again? Man? I mean I think we answer to whatever. Dude, I'd rather kill a family at nine am then live happily in my life. You know, my god, this is the worst one. Andrew, would you rather these are all for boys? But honestly know what this one? Because are we doing what they

do to this song? Like about Yes, but I'm calling you rather make fun of someone singing about a dead celebrity? They kind of know the monetize and uh I would I would say no, because nothing about this is edgy. No, it's not right. Okay. Would you rather sit on a dick and eat a cake? Or sit on a cake and eat a dick? Okay, so you have to have a dick in your butt and eat a cake or sit on a cake and eat a dick. That's kind of a good question for you. You're eating the or

you're sucking a dick. Um, I think I'd rather let's think about you have a normal asshole. Let's think about that. That's good point. So a normal asshole, normal mouth and teeth. I have all my teeth and no anal fissures. And okay, I would say I'd rather, you know what, part of me no, But part of me thinks like if I'm eating a cake and it's delicious, it will distract distract me from the assidu like the dick in my mouth and then I'm not even getting cake it. Um, yeah,

there's that one, like pretty like real, like I really was. No. I think you should know what about you and let's think of it as obvious. Oh, I think sitting on a dick and eating a cake vagina? Do a vagina? To split it up? Would you rather sit on a croissant and eat a vagina? So? Would you rather scissor a girl and eat like rub clips together and eat a cake or sit on a cake and eat a clip? I would rather sit on a cake and eat a clip, same,

because I just don't want those calories. I don't like sugar. It's honestly about that, more than actually sitting on a cake will give us a yeast infectionause of the sugar. Kind of want to do it? Wait? What would you would you want a big gas candle on there? Boy? Uh? Yeah? Like one of those um yeah, like the ones that are in churches that are like for a number in the dark. Wait what? Um? Why don't you like what the idea of scissoring with a girl is that? What

is that? Due to your brain? When you think about it, it kind of turns me on. It's just like anything like, Um, I'm I don't. I think on the Kinsey scale, I'm probably a two in terms of like if if gay is zero in ten or seven is straight, I think it's one to seven. I'm like a two. Um, but I could definitely, Um, I would definitely do that. I think it would be kind of fun to like. And the thing is like sexist all the things I think about where I'm like, oh, i'd be nervous about doing that,

eating pussy or whatever. Um, I just feel like at this point in my life, I'm just so I can be so honest about how what I do not know and what I do know in bed that it would be And I'm so much more open with women in terms of like being able to be like insecure around them that I honestly think i'd be like, I don't know what I'm doing and just be I mean, I

will hook up with a girl someday. There is something about becoming so comfortable with a friend that it's like it's not even like sex, like you would never do it with a friend, but but like the idea of like okay, because I would want it to be because then you can't go back to like it'd be like looking up with your guy friends. What if they just forget? What if they just forget like them? My point is is like then it's just like, oh, it's my friend,

You're just like eating an arm. Okay, I have one question to finish us out, Andrew take us out of the podcast with You have to pick one food for your best friend. Let let it be me to chew up and spit in your mouth. What food do you choose? Pussycake? Yeah, that dick because I like little dicks. One food just chew up and spit in your mouth. I would have to say shit, that's tough, man, I don't want seeds. I would say avocado because you've made guacamole. That's good,

But it would be like spitty. I would choose like something that you could liquify so that when you spit it, it would be like, I convince myself it's liquid. Okay, yeah, it's kind of already a mucacie. I would pick like watermelon because it's so lottery that the spit could like and it would be like watermelon juice is so good. By the way, does it bother you? If a girl you're dating makes more money than you go. We have to go. We have to go to break. Thank you

guys for listening. Think about ponder that question. Not your Wednesday said break. Yeah, we're breaking till tomorrow. No, I don't don't think that I meant that. I really fucked up and said break, but I saved it. That's like when you when you fall back in a chair and you're like, I meant to do that. That was fun. Yeah,

it's sweet, dude, I meant to trip and falling. Kerston and I used to make fun of guys in eighth grade who would lead back in their chair so much and then they'd fall over and they'd be like, well, that was actually fun. I want to do it again.

The first stand up joke I ever like laughed hard at is a black guy was doing a joke where he goes, you know, when a white guy falls, he's like, but when a black guy falls, he goes and then he hits a jump shot like he like turns it into like he meant to fall to then like back, and I just remember laughing. Never seen a black eye fall. I've never seen that. I don't know bucket list. All right, guys, we gotta go. Thank you for listening to the podcast Don't Be Cut and Jack Sparrow, Oh, it seems new

to me. It feels new.