#155 Knows One Bound

sometimes we talk, but mostly it's text. And Andrew, I, you know, when we're not doing the podcast, I live with you, and I'm traveling with you, and we're constantly in communication. I have not talked to you at all at silence, pretty much radio silence. Yeah. I mean maybe we've sent each other there one text every five days or something. Um, and I haven't seen you since before Christmas. I saw you in between me seeing Brennan's parents and then me going to Florida. We had a little bit

of a yeah, like an hour of a hang. So, um, it's it's been a while. Um, I'm in Los Angeles, Andrew is in St. Louis. Yeah, it's been a while. Uh malaho, mahllo, fuck mahallow is, thank you. Bill Maher had a joke I was with Bill maher in Bill Mahallow maharow uh in Hawaii, and he had a good joke that was like, Aloha in Hawaii is hello or goodbye, and mahallow in Hawaii is thank you or fuck you? Like,

all right, let's get into Hawaii, shall we? Why why don't we do like each get to ask burning desire questions for each other about each other's I have so much ship that happened, it's like wild, like I don't even know where to start. But okay, wait, why don't we just why don't we do instead of questions? Why don't we do the top three things of note each of us? And that includes you know, uh, because I'm not just you you out you were living life too, Okay,

so let's go round robin the top three. No bottom three? No, uh, we we gotta do. Let's do the top one bottom one vacation. That'll get us into it. No, no, no, top one, bottom one vacation. And we're doing this just on the fly. Let's start we always start with bottom. Um. I hate to start on a negative note for the new year, but it feels like, you know we're gonna end on a positive. So we're starting We're really starting off on on a good one. It is. I'm feeling

twenty two and a half feeling. I've been listening a lot of Taylor. I can't escape Taylor, by the way, because Brenna's a fucking tailor head. But that's not my bottom Okay, well hold on know that before we get to the top one bottom one. Now I'm getting distracted because you brend Taylor and I can't. I can't just let that slide. What song is now in your head? Mostly?

What's one? Are you really feeling right now? Because like most Taylor swift heads, And by the way, I've done a lot of Swifty concerts over the break with my dad, and then I took a hiatus, and then yesterday I went live on our Instagram and had a little fun and a lot of comments saying like I wasn't a

Swifty until you, Nikki, thank you for getting me into her. Um. I want to just warn you if you're breaking into Swifty, if you're becoming a new Swifty, you're going to have romances with different songs that you hear upon first listening, you go, I'm never even gonna care about the song, and then all of a sudden one day it hits you like a freight train and you can't get out of your head and you go, I love this is

my favorite song. So uh. The other day, Chris my lover was like, um, he put so nice puts on Taylor swift just to get me in a good mood. Like if I'm in a bad mood, I'll just put it on. You do that to to Andrew. Every one in my life who knows and loves me knows to do that. And he was like, he has some favorite Taylor so songs, which I'm like so excited about because he hasn't told me that. He's like, actually is like kind of a it's a fucking great album and he's

really into a couple of songs. I'm like, oh my god, tell me which one do you love? And he goes, I feel kind of embarrassed like that. Sometimes. I if I put on a song like you're gonna be a Taylor's song, You're gonna be like, oh, this one sucks. And I'm like, oh, we there's no song we don't love and he goes, I love how you say we and you're talking about Swifties And that's really how I feel about being a Swifty's Like, we all agree there's

no bad songs. Um, there's just ones we don't like as much as the others, but we love them all. So um, not being said, Andrew, what is your new favorite Taylor swis top one Taylor Swift song? H? No? No. The one that I've heard a lot is Dorothea Dorothy? Yes, hey Dorothy, do you ever stop and think about me? Do you know what's about Selena Gomez? Allegedly it's weird because Brennan says when she hears that song, she thinks

of me, so maybe my kidneys are failing. Dorothy. Uh, it's about her friend who is like famous now, and like it's not really it's like, sorry, Dorothea. Is Dorothea the female name for Andrew? Is it? And oh yeah, Andrea? Okay, sorry forgot about that name. Doth? Oh my god, he's so cute. Noah. A million people died in nine eleven. Um, just gonna be the new Like you're so off, but that was a great attempt. Like that's we just say

a million people died in nine O love it? Um, I just thought Drew Dorothea, I don't know you're not. You're not wrong, and sometimes it is like that weird of a original words. So Dorothea though is anyway, it's a great song. It's on uh for Nicky is Dave right? You're right? That is the original um. It's the Gaelic uh version of of nicole Um Andrew. So do Okay, you're listening to Dorothya a lot. Okay, tell me your top or let's tell me your bottom. Moment of your

trip that you know you can you can? Oh, okay, we can start. No, are you ready to carry this heavy heaviness? I think so? I'm pretty sure. Okay, Brennan, I saw a man die on New Year's and it wasn't even dark yet. Okay. So, well, I do know that you on Instagram had said that you I read it like you know one PM my time, Hawaii, that you had already you were already in bed. You had saw a man throw up into it trash can andrew up because him. Oh my god, seeing a man die

it was wild. You want me to tell you the story? Yes, okay. So we were in West Palm Beach to Taylor Swift. I'm just kidding. I'm sorry, Okay. So we're listening to Taylor and this guy get shot in the face. I'm just it's New Year's Eve. We were just gonna like go over to my brothers. I was like, you know what, let's go get appetizers and hang out outside and look over the water and actually enjoy Florida a little bit because there was a lot of stress with my mom,

a lot of this whatever. There were a lot of ups and downs from the trip. I take her to this bar that I used to go to where I used to throw up all the time and you know, get kicked out of and it was called Bradley's, and um, oh to lose him, Yeah, we just lost him. While we're getting Andrew back, maybe we can keep this in. What do you think they saw? How do you think this man died? Predictions? Uh, heart attack, just like instant. I think you. I don't think that would make her cry.

I think it's something gruesome. And he did say, um, we're listening to Taylor Swift and the man got shot in the face. And I think he was joking, but I also think he's not capable of coming up with something that fast that didn't happen. So I think they saw someone get shot in the face. I hope not. Maybe like get hit by a truck. It's gonna be something gruesome. Have you ever seen someone get like like a gruesome like human body thing, not a human. I saw a kitten get run over by a car. It

traumasized me. Oh wait, when you really want the story, Yeah, it's pretty gruesome. I was trigger warning people can skip ahead. Okay. I was driving and I was several feet away from the car in front of me, and I saw a kitten run into the street right under the tire of the car, and only its head got smushed. No, it's like, you know, because of the spine and stuff, it like jumped up and just died. So it died instantly. Yeah that's a good thing. Um, but the body was still moving. Dude.

Whenever I see an animal run out, I like my heart stops. Oh it's it's I mean, any one, but you know you rarely see it. I mean I hit a man with a car one time, um, which is a story for another time. Twice. Actually, I've hit a man with a car. But Andrew, we're trying to guess what you saw when you went in reverse. Dude, that's so funny. That's so funny, and it reminds me of your friend Diamond Diamond. It's the same joke. I thought it the same thing. I love your brain. Um, what

that's the old Diamond Diamond. He says it once when he goes over. If you don't know, Andrew worked with a guy named Diamond Diamond that was from Nepal. I believe. Yeah, and he said, if you hit a man with your car, you want to reverse back over his body, making him full dead, because then you have to pay the medical bills his whole life. Yes, you might as well. Yeah, but you're you have a better chance of getting off

from her. And apparently in Manhattan, the best way to get away with murder in the United States is to hit a pedestrian with your car in Manhattan and murder like you know, purposely do it, but you'll you'll never be found at fault because everyone gets away with it. Um, in Manhattan, which is where I got hit by a car, but it's not where I hit a man with my car. Um. I've told that story many times on different things, and probably on this podcast. But okay, Andrew, we took guesses

as to what. Um, I'm sorry, not what happened to you. We're guessing how the man died. Uh. Noah said a heart attack. I said, Branda probably wouldn't have thrown up from single heart attack. I think shot in the face because you had made a joke about listening to Taylor Swift and see and get shot in the face. So I'm guessing you just went with the thing that actually happened. So uh Am, I correct because I believe Noah, just there's no way that that that one is. I love

my creativity knows, uh Am, I right, No, damn it. Okay, No, I actually don't think you're creative. Shot in the face twice? Oh God, diamond, diamond, um a million people, I love. Okay, when what happened, Dorothea? Um, So this is what happened. So I went to I took Brendan to the bar called Bradley's. Uh. It was like four pm. We were just gonna get uh you know, drink and some food overlooked the water. We end up leaving there because it was too crowded. We go next door give food. I

come back. I valied my car. Okay, I'm going to get my valet. I give the guy my ticket. I'm waiting for the car, and I look over your car. Did you fly down there or did you drive? I rented a car, got it. So we see this guy and he's like, you know that, like look where your eyes they're just seeing through you. He's sweaty. He's like yeah, but not a meth but more alcohol and coke. But but that same feeling and um, but he looks like a normal guy, like he's not like homeless guy. Shoes

are both on and tied. Yeah, well one's tied, one's velcro um. One bound. So I look over at Brenna and I go, dude, look how fun this guy's gonna get his car. He's so fucking drunk. So we like took time to like look and analyze how drunk this guy was getting in his car. Uh. Yeah, I thought I would have to help him up, but so because

he had a high truck. So anyway, so I'm waiting for him one bound and uh and and he starts to walk off into the parking lot and he goes to grab like a white cone to like hold himself up, and the cone is like obviously not strong enough to hold him up. He throws his drink and he falls backwards and he hits the back of his head and I don't even think he felt. He felt like comically slow, I thought. And blood starts gushing out of the back like just leak, like out of a movie, like leaking

like a river. Uh, he's dead, he's out. Like So, this woman goes, so how away from this man? This is the thing. I was only about ten ft from him. I could have maybe caught the guy. I think, Oh that sucks, man, I'm sorry. So so he's bleeding out. My car comes, I'm like, can I can you move him a little? So? I love how you already have this punched up. Okay, keep going. So that's literally the only punch line. I swear. So then it's not but but no, I swear. But part of me was like,

should I just can I drive around this guy? Is it bad? Is it bad karma? Is it bad? A bad look? You gotta tell me? Like? Are people around him? So I'm telling you? So I'm getting there, So I'm i'd like not to get the car. I I think I'm gonna run up to him. A woman runs up before me, checks his pulse and goes he has no pulse. He has no pulse call, he has no pulse bleeding out his head out, man, probably, I'm thinking. So another

guy runs up starts giving him CPR. Lot, Yeah, in the parking lot in front of Bradley's before on New Year's Eve, so like this is before the party even starts like people won't even know this happened, you know before, which is crazy. So um, guy starts giving him CPR. Brenna starts crying hysterically, yelling like look at the blood. I can't I go go, get away, get away, like it was like this whole like thing. So she goes

around the corner, right. I decide that, okay, this guy's got CPR, Like I don't need to give him whatever c are I go to you know, um tell Brenna to stop being a pussy. No, I'm just kidding. That's another punch. But that was just a random So I punched Brenda and then I do a lone of coke. Anyways, so she's throwing up in the trash can, like dry heaving, like like so loud, and I'm like, babe, it's okay.

You know, I think he's gonna be all right. I think I heard someone say he might have a pulse, and then I was trying no I did hear that from I? Oh? I walked to herd then I walked back, and then I came back again. So she's throwing up. People are walking by, and I have to tell people, look, she saw a dead body. She's not drunk, like, I'm not taking advantage, Like I felt like weird in a way, like people were judging her and I wanted to protect her. Then this guy, I swear to God, this is the

weirdest part of his story. A guy who's like a street cleaner who works for the city comes up and goes, what's going on with her? And I go, she's not drunk. A guy fell over there and he's out cold and they think he's dead and they have to revive him. And she saw it and she's throwing up, and I swear to God. The guy looks at me and goes, that happened to me three weeks ago. What Florida Listen. So then he starts showing a video that was from the security cam of him falling over and dying on

the ground. I swear to God in my life, Brett, I go, she's throwing up from a guy that just died. She doesn't need to see another guy died her. Yeah, me and her. While she's throwing up, she's looking up going there, Oh my god, what I'm like, sir, get out. I'm sorry about your death, but get out of here. So then I go back and they said he has a pulse, and they end up taking away in the ambulance. Hopefully he lived. I googled it and then I drove

away in the valet. Still probably too early, but it was so then the whole night, you know, I had to Like, the car ride was intense, like she was really shook up, and then you know, we played Dorothea, which is the other name for Andrew and had a great time. Oh my god, it was wild. It was wild wild, like everyone that you see walking around will die someday, Like we're pretty much seeing future dead people constantly, but and everyone will die, but we so rarely witness

it in in a way like that. It was. It was intense. I had to convince myself like, oh, I've seen people get hit, like you do a weird mental gymnastics in your head to make it nod as like m m A, but with like dustin Poorrier's fist is the concrete. I swear to God that like kind of went in my mind. That's exactly what I was thinking. Yeah, or like I was thinking about like a guy that goes to war and see ship and comes back shell shocked and to Nebraska with no phone and just thats

the thing about it on a on a porch. Oh my god, wild wild so TikTok to distract. I mean, oh that is people. I mean I've I've been on Reddit before and people have said, like, you know, they share things of like, what's the most horrific thing that's you've ever witnessed? And it's people share things like this.

And there was a Sam Harris interview that I listened to, or he was on did a podcast with Ricky Gervais that I listened to, and he was talking about seeing someone in um I think like Bangladesh get like he saw the aftermath of a guy gets like splattered everywhere and people were throwing up from how like and it was the worst thing he's ever seen in his life. And like people with like there's listeners right now thinking of the thing that they saw that made them I've

never gotten viscerally sick though from seeing carnage. Um, Noah, have you did the kitten incident? We talked about something that Noah witnessed. I don't want to relive it, but did you get Have you ever gotten ill from something that you didn't think would make you ill? Mm hmm, not really, I can't really think of anything. Yeah, I but it it. It happens obviously because especially another human being. You just like the shock of seeing life being able

to be taken so quickly. I think I thought of like because I've been to that bar hundreds of times and yeah, there. I know it's like a selfish kind of way to think of it, but then it makes me think, like, oh, I quit drinking three years like that, I easily could have been that guy. Some article about a guy who jumped a turnstile in uh, you know, Queens or something and he just tripped a little bit and hit his head and died right there, just from

hitting his head. And the people in the reddit subreddit we're talking about how like how the human body can be so fragile yet so durable, Like there are people that have survived like plane crashes, yet there are other people that like trip and hit their head and it's like good night. So it's just so it's so scary. I'm sorry, you witness that is Breno. Okay, yeah, she's all right, she's all right. I mean luckily we had sex before that, because it would have been tough for

her to throw up twice that day. Dimon divon. Um, okay, how about we go to break really quick and Andrew's size deeply. Oh sorry, I was just trying to breathe. Okay, we're back. No, what was your worst thing of your time off? Nothing? Like Andrews actually had a really good time off. So it's hard to think of it, but I guess, Um, I have a group of friends here that we all spend time together, um, and we always get together other as a group. But one of the

couple now is going through a real messy divorce. So just having to navigate the two friendships and you know, like one of them is ousted from the group and Addie and I are really good friends with this person, So it's just really complicated. What what do you do with that? Like when you get ousted? I mean, that's gotta like, why do you do you pick the woman or the man? Did you pick you pick the person

who you feel closest to. Well, I'll say this, I hear both sides, and I can I can relate to the woman more because I've been in the position that she's in and like where that anger comes from. But what I hear from the the guy is that is

a little bit more sensible and like neutral. So when you hear one person gossiping or whatever, and the and the group is you know, trying to comfort them, and then you hear the other side of the person who's being vilified and they're not really you know, it's relationships go bad. There's more to the story than what each person is saying. It's just it just sucks. So uh that book attached. I keep reading it and I'm learning how so many relationships are doomed and people don't even

know it because they're opposite attachment styles. And there there's truly no hope for those people in their There always will they will always be miserable, and they'll stay together and be miserable forever and constantly going on this roller coaster of good and bad, good and bad or um or they're gonna break up unless they become aware of it and really worked, and it's even if you work at it, it's kind of nearly impossible, is what I'm

learning from this book. It's pretty interesting and a little bit demoralizing, but as a woman who like isn't locked into anything right now, um, it's it's eye opening and it makes me feel like, oh good, I'm glad I got to read this book before I made any final decisions about my life, because, uh, this book has just helped me so much, and it's really helped me make decisions that I honestly would have never thought that I would make that are ultimately going to be the best ones,

I think, because I'm just seeing myself in this book so much in places that I almost skipped the chapter because I go, I'm not going to be this, and then I start reading it. I'm like, oh my god, I'm this It's very interesting. No, I'm continuing to read it, like you said, I'm not going to just do a

third of it, and I love it. Um, And I'm realizing I think I've said this before Old Anxious Attached is pretty avoidant recently, but I read yesterday that you know when you're in a relationship where it's like someone's anxious and someone's avoidant like that can't work. But unless these things And I was like, oh good, I'm all of the inn lesses, which is acknowledging it, working on it,

and a lot of avoidance. The problem with avoidance and attached and anxious attached is when when the avoidance becomes avoid avoiding the anxious, that triggers the anxious to become more anxious, which triggers the avoidant to become more avoided, And then they avoidant because more avoided, And so it's like they both trigger each other's worst qualities that detract

the other one. And I though I'm avoided in many ways, but when an avoidance always um typically avoid reconciliation and um talking about what's wrong because if you talk about what's wrong, you get closer to someone. And avoidance biggest fear is intimacy, and so they avoid addressing the issue and I do not do that. And so I was like, okay, good, I don't have that avoided quality. Does any of this make sense? Is the avoidant person doing it to protect

themselves or the other person themselves? Yeah, because they're scared avoidance are scared of intimacy and they want any kind of and and being and losing their independence and feeling like they gonna they're gonna be beholden to someone and they're not going to get alone time and all these things, like they think that a relationship is going to just

strip them of their independence and their autonomy. And they also have a think thing where they think that there's better people out there, they just haven't met them yet, and they glamorize everyone they haven't met, and they also focus on the next Like when they're in a negative place with their partner, they can't remember any of the good. It's like they just rearrange their mind so that the person there with that is needing them too much. The anxious person who is it is coming on too strong

because they're anxious attached. And the only way anxious attach people feel better is if the avoidant person makes them feel better by like being is if someone secure go listen, I hear you're anxious, but this is the truth of the better and I'm I'm with you. Don't worry and

avoid that. People cannot do that and won't do that, so the anxious attach never gets to feel better and is always going to be more anxious and the and it's gonna explode and then they break up, and then they always come back together because they need each other to validate their internalized views of themselves, which is I avoid it. People need a needy person to validate that the world is against them and wants them to, um you know, wants to take from them, wants them to

be theirs, wants to capture them. And needy people need someone who is avoiding them to validate their belief that they are unlovable, so they'll always come back together. It's such a fucking it's uh. It's also the book I was reading called The Human Magnet Syndrome about narcissist and codependence, which is, I guess another way of saying avoidant and um, you know, anxious. But anyway, UM, my bottom was that uh monologue, I just went on mind. No, my bottom moment was I got my first U T I over

the trip, Thank you. I'm a real woman now, Um yeah,

I got. I was very constipated the whole trip. I literally did not poop for like five days, and we were eating like these rich, thick gourmet meals and I was just like just weighed down by like oil soaked veggies, and I was looking at pictures of myself on like on the dinner before New Year's on and we Bill mar and I and Chris read Kid Kid of Kids and play took a picture and I looked pregnant and all the photos and I was sucking it as much as possible, and I was like, what is going on?

I was like, Oh my god, I am so constuppated. And I don't know if the constipation led to the U T I or the ut I caused the consumpation, but um, no, have you ever heard of U T I? Yeah? I have. Um does it feel like you need to ship out of your vagina and you can't? Yes, like a constant burning pressure. That's what I and I have leading too. Yes. And I was pissing blood clots, Yeah, that's what it is, like like I thought. I literally was wiping and I saw blood and I'm like, is

this coming from my asshole? Because I've never blood from my like pe Like, it didn't make sense that this blood could be coming from anywhere else. Because I was like digging up my vage hole to see if it was like period blood and it wasn't. And I'm like, am I it's from my ass. And then I'm like, but nothing's coming out of there. I was pissing out of my tiny pea hole tissue, blood tissue. It looked like I was like having a miscarriage out of my vagina. Discharge.

Did you have any discharge? It was just like pa, You're like, my PA was bloody and like not like I ate beats, but like blood and um. I was just so, what did you do? I Well, the thing was it would only flare up at night and then I would just like cry and like be like oh, and then I would wake up in the morning and everything would be fine, and then I would still not be shipping, but I would be like, oh, it would be and then at night I would flare up again,

and then it I felt like it went away. And my friend Corey that I met on the trip was like, bitch, it does not go away, Like there's no way, and I'm like, yeah, my buddy just healed it out. And then I came back to l A and I finally got to poop, and I felt so much relief. And then I went to six Flags the other day and I went with my friend Corey that I met on the trip and Chris and Carlisle and her boyfriend Chase, and I was like, I don't know what to do.

And she's like, dude, go to an urgent care or just call, like email your doctor. Do you have a doctor. I'm like I think so, And so I emailed my doctor was like, I have a U t I it's my first one. I'm like, there's like bloody tissue coming out of my pus and she was like, oh, I'll just get you some. So now I'm on anti biox. I've been I've taken. I've been on him for two days and it's it's it was gone after the first pill, like it's it's fine now. But I got to finish them,

you know. So that's that's the worst. That sounds pretty bad because I had been like a swimsuit and I'm just like, have so much like being constipated. It sucks so much. But thank God for the fact that I so on this trip. I was with my lover and we enjoy a type of sex that I need to have, you know, a douche for and uh, I forgot it. I brought all my toys, but I forgot my douche. And I'm like fuck, Like, I can't have anal sex

if I don't have that thing. And so right before we left for the trip, we were in l A for a couple of days. The morning of we walked over to the Hustler store and bought like this, anal douche kit, and thank god I fucking had that because I was in such pain I couldn't poop. I did. We just didn't ever go to the pharmacy or anything. And I was like, it's just gonna it's gonna come as soon as I get on like you know America, like you know, uh, the Contiguous Unit States soil. Yeah,

and it didn't. And then I was like, in the middle of the night one night, I was like, maybe if I because I know that when I used that, I can get everything out. And I was like, what if I did this, And oh my god, it's saved my life. If I wasn't so good at it, I would have never attempted to do that. I would have just been in pain and waited for like a laxative to run through my system, which would have been running

and discussing. Instead, I just squirted water up there for like, you know, twenty minutes and got everything out and I was like, I'm a new woman. God, it was amazing. Being consummated sucks. You feel like a there's like a fucking you know, uh, what's it called a compost pile in your Like it just feels like thick, like there's a corpse of Like yeah, there's like a landfill of

poop in you. It's so close. I feel like I think when Johnny Cash John when John Wayne was dissected or like autopsy, they found him like sixty pounds of like uh ship in his colon, like sixty pounds of compacted And I felt like, john Wayne make my day. Okay. So andrew top top break moment um I had. I had a good amount of tops. Uh. I would say moving in with with Brenna now has been a top. But one of the tops that was kind of sad too.

Um My mom was in the hospital the whole time we were in Florida with um a U t I Uh. She was fucking a lot. No no, no, she she has co op D and she had a flare up with her lungs. So she uh went to the emergency room the night before we went down to Florida. So the whole time she's in the hospital. There's a lot of other drama that like went down with my dad whatever,

but we don't have to get into that. My mom eventually gets out of the hospital the day before, two nights before we leave, so like five nights into trop she got out. She broke out. They were like, ma'am, you need your oxygen. She's like, I'm sucking. She starts skipping.

I don't know. She was excited to see me. Um, so did you go visit her or no. I did visit her with my little brother, and it was an interesting visit because my mom's on steroids, like a preda zone or something, so it's like, I don't know, I just found it weird that, like steroids is for a guy to hit an eight hundred foot home run or to have my mom eat a sandwich, Like I just

find it like those are like the two things. And my mom was like sitting there like she's she's amped, but she also has no energy, so it's like a so she's like talking, but she's also like like barely breathing, so it's like but she has energy to talk, so she honestly, she sounded like the Godfather her like like pay men like that, like that was the vibe and she was sitting in a chair like it was it was.

It was interesting. Whatever. So we go to the hospital, me my little brother because of COVID it was hard to like get in there. Um. So she eventually gets out of the hospital and um, I want to introduce her to Brenna, but I have to go to a hockey game that night with my dad and I don't want Brenna to meet my mom without me for the first time. So that was the whole thing about whether or not I should go to the hockey game or whatever. So any long story short, Sorry, my mom gets out

the hockey game. I did, but Brenda didn't mean I went and saw my mom Brenna. I was like, look, she'll meet you tomorrow. We could wait a day. So did Brenna just stay in her room? Yeah? Huh. Your mom came home and Brenna just didn't come to meet her because she just didn't want to, like I would have to like leave her there without I don't know. It was it's kind of awkward to meet someone's parents without. But where was anyone there? Or was your mom just

there alone? No? My brother, and it was. It was a weird thing. It was a weird situation, but so which led to a fight about over GPS, which wasn't about GPS. That's a whole another thing. I love. Yeah, that's another thing, and attached is like couples get in fights and it's never about what the thing is. It's so funny. I asked her where Walgreens was, and she put it in her phone and it was like two point eight miles and then I realized, wait, I know

where a fucking Walgreens is from my brain. But she's like, let's just go to that one. And I was like, well, let's just use my brain. She's like, well, that's only a mile farther, and I was like, well, why does can I use my brain? Like that was but the fight was over whether or not I should go to the hockey game room. And you wanted to use your brain, yeah, and you weren't when you went to the hockey game not at all. So anyways, we made up. It would

ended up being great. But my mom gets to hospital. I go over there. It's just me and my brother.

We have to go to the bank to like talk about like weird shit about like my mom dying and like money being beneficiary like this whole like I don't know, it makes things real, you know, like and um, my mom wasn't able to shower in the hospital for like four days and her hair is like frizzled, and my mom loves to look you know, pretty, and you forget like a woman just wants to even when she's dying, and like and at her lowest point, she's still you

know you want to Like it's like hard to talk about. I'm sorry, Andrew, Oh boy, I promised myself I would cry. No, it's all right, it's so hard. I'm sorry. So, yeah, that's weird. Yeah, anyhow ended my nails in a while? Yeah, like a U T I so I end up uh even in sadness call back dripped, So your eyes are ham drippings some people call my nipples. Just thinking about your mom in the ocean? Do you think about your mom will never get to go to a hockey game again,

something she never went to in the first place. She loved the Rangers. No, so my mom goes, um, will you help wash my hair? In the scene because she can't even shower, And I swear there was just a moment where I was like my whole life, me and my mom never like you know, because of drinking and like whatever, like we never like when she would touch me like later in life, like rub my back or anything.

Like I could never hug her because I felt like, I don't know, they're just wasn't a connection because I wanted her to be better for herself, and I think it caused me to be avoided attached. So yeah, and you have a lot of anger about that. It's like too late, bitch. I'm not saying that about your mother, but like I felt that way too have like don't get close to me now, like you should have done this when I was little, and it just feels awkward.

It just doesn't feel like And so my initial reaction when my mom's like, can you wash my hair? And her hair is like frizzled and like you know, like really like I'm like I don't even Yeah, she's completely frizzled out, and I'm like she's got the she's on the frizze and um, I go. My initial reaction was like, oh my god, I gotta touch my Like what is she doing asking me this? Like and I'm so selfish,

so fucking selfish man. So anyways, I fucking start washing her hair and I put the shampoo in and I'm washing her and I'm knowing that this is making her so fucking happy, this little thing. And I put conditioner in and I'm combing her hair, and I swear to guy like there was like a moment and like it could be like in a movie or like whatever where it's like, oh, I couldn't help her and like I don't have this guard up because mentally I'm okay now

in a way. It was a lot. It's still a lot, and like just combing her hair, and then Brenna cut her nails for her, and it was like this moment of like where we I'm looking over at Brenna like cutting giving my mom a manicure, and it was just like, Okay, this is fucking why relationship sh it is fucking amazing. Yeah, I'm so happy for you. That's a lot, dude, Thank you for sharing that. It's so sweet. Good job, dude, this is like all really it's it's it's good closure stuff. Yeah. Um,

it's really hard though. So and then I went to the bay and can I you know, found out how much money I was getting. I was like, that's worth it for the hair shampoo. You know, Okay, what's your top one? Noah, you see a guy die, so a top one? My top one is very similar to Andrew. Yeah. So, um, you know, I talked about it on the podcast and I had a lot of besties reach out, which was so nice, and Sweden. I realized a lot of other people have a disconnection with a parent. I'm not the

only one in this world. But um, I had been wanting to use the holiday time as a you know, just like an impetus to reach out to my mom and see how she's doing after not speaking to her for a very long time. And um, I did it. You know, I wish you're happy New Year. And I said, you know, can we chat this weekend? And it was

really good. It was a very good conversation. And I this is crazy, but you know I had been thinking about this for a while now, probably over a month, you know, like I got to do this, I mean since the show. It was just like burning. It was just like burning my chest, like I have to do something.

I don't feel good about this and I had this like nerve pain in the back, like it in my back, Like I don't know what it is like wing or whatever, like if if I would have wings, it's where a wing would be just like like a like a just a nerve pain. Then my shoulder her and my neck hurt. I've just been caring that for the last couple of weeks. And after that phone call, it didn't completely go away, but it's like already fifty gone, wow wow, And did

the phone call feel better? Worse? What you expected? Much better? I mean, you know, I have to like think a lot about going into it. What information am I gonna divulge? How am I going to direct the conversation if it starts going to a negative place? You have to do a lot of mental gymnastics. Um. So, my mom has always been very good at being creative and um house decorating. She she's just so talented. She has such good taste.

So I was just like, Okay, I'm gonna ask her for help so it'll give her like a little bit of a purpose. I'll be receptive to that information because I know it's going to be good. And it was.

It was great. Ah, It's so great when the like at what I'm the pattern here is like we can do better than our parents, not to like be like see mom, fuck you, Like I'm going to be different, but like that's why you have kids, is to be better than like you and to heal some of the stuff that you're not ready to you weren't equipped to do, and like it falls on the child to become the adults in the situation. And both of you exhibited that, um in those stories. So good job to both of you.

Thank you, thank for sharing those things, because it's not easy to share that stuff that like can unexpectedly get you into um, like emotions that are uncomfortable on a comedy podcast. So um and I know the besties love you for it. Um My. Uh, my top moment was um seeing a whale, which I posted on my Instagram. UM, and it was so Chris, my ex boyfriend who I'm dating and um who I honestly like. We almost broke

up two nights before Christmas. Um. Uh. We literally were on the phone breaking up, finally being like we're not doing this anymore and it was really just a bad Uh.

We were going to therapy and we had a really bad therapy session and um, we didn't have time in that therapy session to like put up bow on it or like just kind of put a little like even like a cork in it, and we just like were open wounds and and for us to like get through hard times, we need to like talk for hours and feel really understood and we always come out so much better.

But um, we didn't have time, and so we didn't talk for a couple of days and literally broke up on the phone, and then we just couldn't get off the phone, like because once we said goodbye on the phone call, we knew it would be like over over, and then we were like, let's just why, like one of us gave in and then the other game, you know, and um, he ended up going to Hawaii with me on this trip with Bill Maher and it was just like, I don't know, I think that and maybe I could,

you know, who knows what I'll say in the future, but I think that I have in the past like felt because Chris was the only person I've ever dated really like seriously in this way and like is actually

an available person. The only available person that isn't a complete alcoholic that I've dated that didn't have a girlfriend, didn't live in a different city, like he's that I thought, you know, I could have possibly got it right the first time, Like there's just no way, and you know, we don't we're not perfect and all these things, and there's been issues where I'm like, I can't date someone

who does this. But you know, I have all these hard lines, like I think that I uh projected a lot of perfection onto other people or like other relationships and I'm like, I want a guy like that or man, I'm looking at that guy on Instagram and that relationship

with MC. He wouldn't do the things that Chris does in my relationship, like or I have like a friend, I'm like, oh, the way I get along with her, Like if I could just like if if if you know, that could be I want a relationship that's like that friendship but like also a sex and like the thing is like what my relationship may lack in the way

that I look at some of my friendships. Is that my friendships or people's relationships that I look at, I don't know what they're like intimately, but I do know what that that's not fair to compare that and I and I think that I know, but I don't fucking know, And What I did realize on this trip is that I have someone who, like, although isn't we clash a lot on things, like overall, this person is always willing to is now I know, and wasn't in the past,

but it's like willing to work on ever anything and is willing to kind of honestly, we I have the thing that I always wanted that I heard Will Smith has with Jada Pinizsabeth, which is like, uh, you can do anything and there are no deal breakers, like I'll never leave you, Like we can get through anything, and like that doesn't mean he's not gonna get upset with me and we're gonna have weird moments, but we found we found this new way of communicating that I originally

came up with with Kirsten when I was in fifth grade. We like, we're best friends since fourth grade, inseparable from the second we met, and we had this like shorthand speak like that we just we just were real. It was the first like relationship where I was like, I just don't have to be anything but completely myself. I never have to act like I'm in a good mood. I never have to act like I'm gonna like I'm completely real. And one time we got into like a

little fight about something. It was like our first fight, and we went to the limited in West County Mall and we were in fifth grade and we were looking through shirts and it was after a fight. We had patched it up, but we hadn't actually addressed what was really going on, and so we were in this weird area that I think everyone can relate to, where you are just being really like overly like gentle and nice with each other, but you're still like laden with resentment,

but you're just tiptoeing. And Kirsten and I both I remember Kurston might have been the first one to call me on it. And she's like, because I we were looking at some sweatshirts or something and I was like, isn't this cute? This is so cute and she's like, yeah, oh my gosh, um, well, well I'll try this one on.

Do you want? Like what size do you want? Like we were just being so overly nice and and one of us goes, we're acting like new friends and we just kept going new friends, and we called out the awkwardness by saying new friends because this little like fake like oh so like, um, yeah, like do you want to go to dinner later? Like that that kind of like dumb talk you have with your boyfriend after you're like in a fight, and it's helped me so much.

I told Chris about this, and he's like, wow, you guys were like funny even back then, Like that's such a astute observation for like fifth graders. And I was like we really were. Like new friends was the first like kind of bit we ever did. And now Chris and I do new friends and that the other night, that's where we get into trouble ism when we fight, the awkwardness before we go what the funk is this about?

Or like I'll go, hey, I'm really sorry, I'm late, like I was running late, and he's just like it's fine. And then we're in this like new friends, like did you call the Yeah they're running late? Oh I hate this app and like we're just having this fucking elevator small talk. And last night we got into like a little thing and I was just like new friends, you're new friends and me, what's really going on? Like I

know you're upset, what what happened? And it's just like cut through and he like laughed because he knew what new friends meant. It was just like a beautiful way to like cut through the tension. Anyway, I really like fell in love with my ex boyfriend over this trip because on the way to why he was like, um, I thought maybe we could go whale watching, And I'm like, I don't even know we could go whale watching in ha wait, Like I don't even I think of that

as like an Alaska thing. And there's humpback whale watching in a white We're in the middle of the season. We go on a private charter that he sets up and it's just me and him on this boat and we see a humpback whale and on either everywhere in this bay complete there there's hundreds of them, and we see little spouts coming up, but you don't get You can't get closer than a football field unless you get close enough and then they swim over to you, which

doesn't happen. Except it did happen. We we got mugged, which is the actual term for it. We were mugged by a humpback whale. It was circling our boat and obsessed with us and I and I said on the way out I go, what's like he's been doing this twenty five years ago, what's the coolest thing that's happened

out here? And this guy was like, you know, the best thing is when I've had passengers like dunk their heads over and put their snorkels in and they're like, I can hear them squealing because they see the whale like up like they can spot the whale like in the water, and not from like far away because the water is too murky to see it if you put your head in, if it's if we're far away from what the normal distances, and fuck you guys, I saw

I wasn't getting my head in so much. I made eye contact with a fucking wild humpback whale, which I've been obsessed with whales forever. It was such a majestic, magical moment in this whale like I felt connected to it. I felt like it saw me. And these whales are only there to breed and have of birth. They come all the way down from Alaska. There's no food in this bay in Hawaii, like in this you know channel, there's only fucking fighting over females, which they never fight

to the death. They always help each other out. They like kind of bump each other, but they'll never fight to the death. Were very gentle, and there's wing manning.

They help each other fuck, and there's birthing, and then they get pregnant and they go all the way back up and then they give birth up there, or they give sorry, they get birth down here, and they go all the way up with their babies because it's safer in these warmer waters and there's not killer whales, and there's no predators in these waters, and there's no food. They're just starving to death here. And like it was

just so fucking interesting. And he put a microphone in the water and it was just like you could hear all the whale activity. It was like you were at a fucking stadium of how hundreds of whales, just like it was just it was so cool. I was blown away. And it was only because like Chris knew I cared about whales, and he knows that I don't really like adventures, but he picked one that was like perfect for me, and I just had the best trip with him ever. And um, I had the best trip with Bill Maher

and all his friends. It was just a great trip. Let's take a break and then we'll come back and we'll do a little bit of reddit dump. Let's do reddit dump karaoke mode. This is your reddit dump, all right, I will I have some good stuff. Okay. So this was in the subreddit sex and it said my husband. I let my husband suck a booby to help with his occasional anxiety before bed. I told a friend and she shamed me hard. So this woman is said that it started with my husband when I was pumping breastmolk

for our kid. I had a bad clog. I guess she was wearing crocs, and he sucked it out of me out for me. Over time, it progressed into a nightly routine. I had finished my last pump of the day, he'd cleaned up, and then we'd go to bed and he'd nurse for like ten minutes. This helps soften my breast so I could sleep comfortably. Eventually I start producing milk and our routine ended. Then something terrible happened. He

had a loss in the family that devastated him. He had a lot of anxiety in the night and would be upset. One night, I was cuddling him to help calm him down, and he was nestled between my breasts. I could feel his breath and lips against me. He started to kiss them, and then I kind of instinctively lifted myself up and so his you know, his mouth was aligned with my nipple. He took the sign and started suckling. He almost instantly calmed down and was able

to get to sleep soon after. So this started another trend in our relationship. It often leads into other sexual activities, but sometimes it's a it's a quick, a quick suck and we go to sleep. I told my friend the above and was essentially shamed. To hell, we are being weird and juvenile. She said, he shouldn't need to suck your breast to go to sleep. It made me feel terrible. What do you think to other couples have different opinions or practices, m M. I was thinking Andrew probably would

be into that. I honestly I started salivating. I was like, oh my god, this is like I want my binkie and it's your tits. I mean, why can't boys? I like, would it hate for someone to suck on my tips like a baby? Like a man? I know that's so weird, but like there's something about it where I was like, I I wonder how weird but before and like, what if they have another baby and then they're fighting over the nipple. It seems like a bedtime thing that like, and it leads to sex usually. I love it. I

think it's like romantic, I really do. I don't think it's weird. I really don't. Um. I mean, I think it's weird, but I don't think I would judge anyone for it. I mean it's weird in the sense that I don't think a lot of people do it, but I think, um, yeah, more people. I think it could be weird if he's like put the diaper on and then like she puts fucking baby powder on his asshole and then she's like my battle. You know, that would

be weird. But if it's just a guy who just need to suck a little bit to like sucking a thumb, and you can provide that, fuck yeah, you could be a manly nipple sucker. I think so too. No, uh well, I don't approve of sex shaming anyone for whatever weird kink they have, even if they're wearing a diaper. But I have this nord Yeah exactly same and I know

that I went too far. I know, I know it was a joke, But I have a weird like fantasy where I want my nipples like sucked so hard that they turned like black and blue, like there's like bruises around them. Weir you gotta do, you gotta get obvis into this. I keep trying. I mean, I haven't explicitly

told him this. I'm sharing it with you first, But I've just got to be a normal fetish like because sometimes I get my tits sucked so hard I feel like they're going to have bruises, and so I know that they're guys like to do that, and babies leave bruise it like it's a very Just because a baby does it and we don't sexualize children obviously doesn't mean it's can't also be sexual and that doesn't mean it's wrong. I don't think, Yeah, I think you just gotta ask

nipples till they're black and blue. No, well, you've got to get it, okay, I'll keep you posted. Yeah, let him know I think you should, uh you split his ball sack with your nose, yeah, and then say, hey, baby, why don't you rough up my nips? And then I don't think he'll. I think it's that weird. Just be like suck harder, sucking them like, I feel like they'd have to be sucked like really really hard for like a good while. Yeah, so maybe that's what you want,

and maybe he would be into that. Like you don't even know, like what's his favorite condiment? Chocolate it there we go throw it on. I was saying that I was so constant because my boobs were huge over the in Hawaii and I was like, I love that. I say it weird, um, And I was saying that I was because Chris was like, poops, Jesus Christ, and I was like, I'm backed up. I was like, I got ship tits. I run a ruined my tits for him.

I was like, they're just they're filled with ship It's all the way to you, Like, I got their ship tits, those full ship tits. Oh fuck my bed is here. Fuck your bed is here. Yeah, we can end the show without you piece out here. No, I'm not gonna hang up here. I'll just it's fine a five minutes. Okay, So there's I saw an ask women the subpredit says, what's what's one tiny daily habit? You have that makes your life run a bit smoother. I was just wondering

what your guys would say. But I want to read some of these. This is obviously just women. Um. This was actually something that a bestie wrote into me that we talked about on the show that helped them. But um, this person says the two minute rule, originally reading it as getting things only read in it and getting things done, which I guess is a book. The rule is anything that takes less than two minutes to do it straight away, writing it down and then doing it later. We'll take longer.

I love that. Someone says my kitchen must be spotless before, but ideally I set the coffee pot too. Um. Someone says I make my bed as soon as I wake up. Um, what about you guys? Anything come to mind that you're like, oh, drinking water in the morning? Yeah? Um yeah, just making a smoothie takes last time. Didn't you think like we always think, oh, we gotta get all the ingredients. I just throw it in there. I started drinking in the

last two days. Very simple food prep That ship is easy. Um. Dividing my clothes like that was a big thing from moving to the new place. Of the like what could go to goodwill? And what do I need? And you just like be like, I can't get rid of things. I have so much attachment to it. And then you're like, oh, that took four minutes to be like I don't need my wardrobe anymore. I like that. Yeah, I don't know

simple things like that that you build up in your head. Yes, I think that because I think you're so efficient with your like time and stuff. Yeah, I think that, Um, I usually am. I just I think that being reasonable about how long things will take is a helpful thing of like, just always add on more time than you think, or just at least start paying attention to how long

things actually take. Um, I think that. Um. One thing I I do now that I think is great is not doing all or nothing things like and I think that goes into the two minute things like there's so many times that I go, I can't work on that thing because I don't have time to do it all. Well, the whole job is going to be seven hours. Why would I ever think I could do it all in

one like, but that's how I work. I do things in seven hour chunks, and then I kill myself and I dread it and cleaning your room, like you can't maybe have time to clean your whole room, but you have time to do one like five minute thing. Put one jacket away, put like one little thing, straightening one little area can give you like a sense of it can spread much easier. And just not doing things in increments and not being so obsessed with perfection and having

all or nothing. And I think that's helped me a lot. Being It's that's how I live my life. Okay, um, this is from today. I learned today. I learned there's an eighteen percent average mortality rate for catch and release fishing, with the rate varying significantly between species. So on average, if you're doing catch and release because and you feel like a fucking hero, almost of those fish one and five are gonna die. But just because you caught them

in the first place. Good to know, I think, because I think people just go, oh, we're such a good person, you know. I mean, yeah, I agree with that. I just feel like they're probably gonna die pretty soon. Anyways, what get eaten by? No, that's not how it works. How do they fish? Like all fish look almost exactly identical. How do they know which fish because experts and they probably are like, I don't know, but you guys, just it's good enough, don't don't probably just no one should fish.

I always feel bad for the fishes that have their Like it's traumatizing to have a fucking hook in your mouth. A lot of times you can't get it out. You have to rip, like fish feel pain. By the way, So anything you're telling yourself about fishing and how it's like, oh, I'm not keeping it like, well, then you're tossing about in it's gonna die. And I know it's gonna die anyway. But so we're all of us, So should we just all hook ourselves in the mouth? Like? No? All right? Um?

What is this is? From? Ask credit? What's your? I fucking hate this song? Song? Song? Song? Mine is moves like Jagger? I don't moves like Jager? What is your? I fucking hate this song song? Oh yeah, I hate that. I mean, I uh, that one song somebody I used to know went from good for one day to the worst song I've ever heard in my life, said the TikTok song. Oh no no no, oh no, no no no no that one. I don't know that one. I don't like that song. Let the Bodies hit the floor.

Oh my god, I feel like that. I would describe that as the only kind of music you listen to unless it's your nipples that would really hard. Um, that's so funny. Uh fancy like by Walker Hayes. I don't know that fight song. People are saying fight song a lot. I love fancy likes terrible. It's this new country song. Oh, going to Apple Bays on a Tuesday, on a Waynesday, getting drunk brands on Thay. Got Everyone's saying fancy like on this ask credit. I'm an island boy. People hate

that song. That doesn't get These don't kind of songs to me. Um, fight song? Why are people saying fight song? I love that song. This is my fight song. I liked it until that someone said, oh ha ha, that's like oh no no oh no no no no no no, yeah, yes, yes yeah. Shape of You and Baby Shark I love. I'm in love with Shape. People hate that song. I've heard that a lot. Um Wow, people singing fight song because it's the cancer anthem. Oh girls Like You by

Marine five. I kind of like that song. Uh all right, God, it's all the same songs. It's so funny. Um, alright, the ones that are played the most final thoughts, Yeah you're right, but no, there's some songs that are played a lot that I don't mind, I guess, but yeah, you're not wrong. Um. This was true off my Chest. This was from the subread at true off my Chest. I threw a Christmas party a week ago, and no

one other than my mom showed up. A few of my coworkers offered explanations when I asked it about it the next time I saw them, but no one else even gave me an excuse. It sucks too because I spent more money than I should have on the decorations of food, then spent the night staring out the window waiting for guests, only for no one but my mom to show up after I called her crying about it. The whole thing hurts more than I can ever admit. All that sucks. I mean, what were their excuses? I wonder?

I mean, did they say they were going to go? Like? Why? It makes me? That makes me so fucking sad. And we've all been there of like just feeling like no one cares and we're being left out and like trying too hard, like getting dressed up for something that no one else cared about, or like it's just such a lonely feeling sorry for and that the opposite happened. You

didn't have a party and everyone showed up. Well, I had a party and too many people showed up, and some of those people like I had spent so much money on like cold cuts, and like this is at a time where I had like no money, but I really like I wanted to make it a nice party for people. And people came in and they put like their cigarettes out on the cold cuts. It just like went totally out of control. My god, and I had

a similar feeling at the end. I just I felt so like violated and the silver lining and she didn't have to clean up all the ship that would have happened. She had to clean up their decorations that were not even used, and like all the food. It's it's such a lonely feeling for people who don't have friends. You don't have friends, It is not your fault. It is a lucky thing to have friends. Like it's just you're

in the right place at the right time. Some people like live in areas where everyone sucks and you're there because of what, Like, it's not your fault if you don't have friends, especially if you're listening to this podcast, your cool as fuck. Um, And I really mean that, Like, you can't enjoy this podcast if you're not like someone who's emotionally intellectual. And maybe I'm patting myself on the back,

but I just believe that to be true. Um, I think like I bring it back so other people couldn't enjoy it. What'd you say, Like, I'm not that emotionally? Like, are you cried on the show today? Buddy? Never happened? Uh? You cried? Also, can we talk about Larry David tomorrow

to tease it? Oh? Yeah, I mean I was going to talk about, Um, just how that that party thing reminded me of I'm watching Arrested Development again because on the trip, I was with one of the like the I was I was with one of the writers of Arrested Aliltman, who who wrote the first season and subsequent episodes with Mitch Mitchell Hurwitz and who was the creator, and he was like they met and um, they met on the Golden Girls staff and then they Mitchell started,

uh you know, created rest Development and wrote with Jim Valley, like they two wrote it and his name is Jim Valley and he's amazing. He's like the best guy ever. I love him so much. He's so funny, so cool. I got all my rest of development questions answered. Um, and I'm going back and watching the first season with Chris and we're having so much fun. But that party thing reminded me of like just Lucille Bluth. Uh yeah,

the mother, the matriarch. They she's having like a they have a surprise party and no one is there constantly because all of her children like hater and like everyone on the show is just detestable and hilarious. But it's such a fucking great show. And I can't believe I know one of the creators now it's just um or, Like you know, one of the main to write that show is like if Succession had more of a sense of humor. Yeah, absolutely, And I even said that Lindsay

Bluth Pordossi reminded me of the girl what's her name? Oh? Um? Six ship ship ship ship ship is that right? Shift? God? That reminds me of a joke from Rust of Development where the father is in prison and he says Um, you know, I I'm worried about in the showers, like I could get strangled or or something or something worse and Buster goes or like stabbed and he goes in a way or something like that. It was so good.

I just love that show. It's pack shock full of jokes and like you can watch it over and over and like I've seen this season four times and I'm still I don't remember things like it's so nice to

have a bad memory for stuff like this. Um, so much more to talk about, including a running with Larry David and more than a run and a hang out with Larry David Private je It's will watching uh Constipation, six Flags, and much more this week on the Nick you Glazer podcast Don't be cut out there and uh yeah, I've been studying over the weeks