#115 Add It To The Bunch w/ Kerstin!

picture yesterday of Andrew rubbing my feet last night. Um, Me, Kirsten and Andrew were all hanging out, um late night last night. Kursten is in town again staying with me, uh to participate in this thing where I have cameras following my life or whatever. I don't know what's going on. Um, And apparently it got out that's something that I'm hinting

at something. And then they're rushing the announcement because I'm people are talking and I'm like, good, are you gonna like as At first, I was like are they gonna take it away? I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to do it, like I love about before I was like, what are they gonna do take it away and then they're like, um, we might. Um, no, they're not, but it's uh so Kristen's back in town and we hung out last night and she rubbed. We got foot massages yesterday.

We're so good in St. Louis, but there weren't long enough. Um, they're only a half hour and I was like, can I pay you as an extra for another Let's get fifteen more minutes on here, and they were like, we don't really deviate from what's on the menu. And I was like, fuck because it was so good. But um, Luckily I get a package notification yesterday. At the end of the day after I'm in Like Kirsten goes to

bed after we've like rubbed each other's feet. Andrew, by the way, rubbed my feet this weekend, and I think I talked about it, but I know no. I offered him a hundred dollars to rub my feet on in um Atlanta and Luigi's barking at Kirsten. I think she's trying to take him for a walk. He has been like biting her and being such a little bastard to her. He's just he's no son of mine. I'll tell you that um Kurston is okay, he's like attacking me. She said,

one second, are you serious? Jesus Christ. That was so that was so funny. I went out there to just check on him seriously, like viciously attacking her. She's trying to take him for a walk, and he's like and I walk out and he instantly stopped. He's like, my mom just saw me being a bit to the babysitter, and um, that has happened to me before when I

used to babysit for um these kids. One time, the mom overheard the daughter being a little rude to me, like she she didn't realize her mom was in the next room, and the mom came in and was like, is that the way you talked to her? And she was like um uh. And the mom like goes get in here and like you shoot her daughter out around the corner and then she came back and was like nice to me until her mom left again. But that was exactly like Luigi. It's it's just so sad to

see I just don't understand. White dogs can't understand. Like when there's someone I love and I'm hugging them and I'm all wrapped up in them, and they witnessed that, Like, why, here's jealous. He's jealous? Oh whoa, No, yeah, when this lady comes to town, my mom's attention gets taken away. Honestly, he gets more attention because we I like, she makes me see parts of him. Then I'm like, oh, he is so cute and like like dote on him so

much more. You're maybe right, though, It's just it's it's probably he just is jealous of her, And you know we're talking about jealousy a lot on the show today. We already recorded the pot I'm not gonna lie to you guys. Kirsten Um is on the pod later. Andrew is also going to be here, we know that, but he had to go pick up his lady at the airport,

so we had to tape the first part early. Um, what I was saying before about getting my foot rubbed by Andrew, It's so good, noah, Like I thought the photo was so funny that Um that you posted on our Instagram where he had a blanket over his lap. Usually they put the blanket on the person receiving the massage. Oh interesting, Yeah, Well, I will say that he already had the blanket on his lap. He was a cold little boy last night for some reason when he got

I don't understand it, but he was. I guess he's just I think he just got a new jacket and wanted to like wear it around and like show it off. But he what we were watching love on the Spectrum. He got a blanket to like sit with, and then afterwards we were kind of like just talking and hanging

out and I just Curson was rubbing my foot. She's very gentle and like, oh the bones are like She's just like gentle and like she pulled my toe a little bit and she felt it kind of like like like not crack, but like the bunyan like the cartilage I guess made some kind of like you know a little like noise and was just like I can't I

can't d D good. And I just was. I just went over and I plopped up my foot on Andrew's lap and I go, please just a little bit, and he just he gets his knuckles in there and he just does the scraping motion on my foot and it is so good, and he he goes, why do I like this? Because he was doing things that we're making me like literally like squirm and go like like I was like flipping out because I love I love the pain.

I don't know what's wrong with me. No. When I went to go get a foot massage yesterday, I told these women they were like, you know, I was like, I have bunions, and they're like, when you walk out of here, we want your feet to feel so good. And I'm like, I gotta stop you right there. I want them to feel bad like I want to be, and I don't. If you were to heal my bunyan's, I would be sad. Pleasure and pain are the same parts of the brain. Yes, yes, they are love and

haters the same thing. But that's interesting that a gerain pain. They must really I would like to do an m R I of my brain because I really do. There's there's certain pains that I go no, no, no, but these dull kind of like achy and certainly like not like pressing on them and being like you girl, you're not like, oh man, I love it. And um Andrews just so good at it, Noah, like he that's why he probably likes giving them to you, because he's really

good at it. Yeah, it's like my blowjob theory. If you tell someone they're good at something, they'll do it forever, and they'll do it a lot, and then they'll get good at it. That's why you know, tell girls they're good at blow jobs even if they're bad, because they want to. We all want to do things we're good at. But Andrew seriously is good at it. I was trying last week when he was rubbing my feet. I was like, you know what, like the best golfers are also really

good massagers. Like I was trying to just like get like believe. I mean, like I think it really helps her swing, like just catering to his desires. But it's true, like he really is. He knows how to just get in there. I think it's because he has aggression towards me. So what I really want foot wise, no one else can give me because no one hates me as much as he does. But he was just getting in there and it was so good and um, but he doesn't

like to do it. I love to massage people, I swear to God, Like if people liked the same foot massages that I liked, It's kind of like love language is, you know, when you just like give your love language, and some people are like, please, I don't want to be touched. I'm not, but you're like, but I want touched, so I want to give it, like I love. If Andrew wanted his feet rubbed, I would do it forever. And it's just bothers me that no one in my life wants to rub my feet. It's always something I

have to like beg for. I just want, I want, and I know I'm gonna get d m s of like I would rub your feet. I just want someone I already know like, and I guess it's just if I end up with a person, I think it's a deal breaker for me. Honestly, No, uh that if a guy or a woman that I end up with who knows doesn't like touching my feet or doesn't want to give me foot rubs, I don't think I can be

with that person. Like I need it, and um they need they need it and k E n E A D. Luckily, though, as I was getting a little bit annoyed because Andrew stopped rubbing my feet so quickly and I was just like, I want more, Like it just wasn't enough, I get a notification on my phone that I have a package in the basement, and I go down to get my packages and it's gigantic from Amazon. I'm like, what the funk is this? I didn't even remember ordering it. But

I got myself a foot massage. I got myself an electronic one where you put your feet in it and it like massages them. I didn't buy one, I thought, because I was so overwhelmed by the selection. There were too many choices, and I was paralyzed, you know, the paralysis of choice. There's too many, so you just don't buy anything. That's often when I feel in bookstores, I'm like, I want everything, I need less choices. And on Amazon there's literally thousands of these foot massaghers and they all

have like five star reviews from thousands of reviews. So it's like, what do I want? And so I just I just went you know, any meaning money, um, and then pretty much with like with my toes, and I just got one that, um, I don't even know I

chose it. They just weren't that expensive. So I go, Okay, if I don't like this a hundred and twenty dollar thing, that's not like it's not a small amount of money, but it's not a gigantic enough amount of money that I can't just like gift it to someone and then get a new one and just keep doing them until honestly I might because there's no review sites that go We've ranked, We've tried them all and ranked the best. They just all the review sites go off of Amazon

reviews and you can't trust those all the time. So maybe I'll just go through all of them and try them all and have an actual But no one wants the kind of foot massage I want. I want to put my foot in a thing and then take it out and have it be like mangled, like I stuck it in a fucking one of those I don't know what are the machines that um a blender, maybe a blender or like that crumple um cars, you know where they put a car in it and all of a

sudden it's like compactor and it makes a compactor. That's it. I want that kind of pressure on my feet. So we'll see how it goes. I'll let you know, but let's get into the show and hey, Andrewing, good morning. How you know it? I like that one. This one's one of my faves. It's um she she wore it in something like this is the cursing goes she wore that, and I'm like, like a different kind of this one. No, I think you pay nine grand for that because she

might have wore. If I could find something she wore, I would. I just want to. I would love to feel what she head. No, I don't want her pennies now, that's that's invasive. But I would take a shirt that smelled like her or something. If I found my my mom my dad's cousin had um cigarette butts of John Lennon's that they snuck into the hotel and like stole his cigarette butts, and I alway thought that was really cool. They were in like a ziplock bag and like had

his DNA on them. Essentially, I would I would take something like that. Would you them? None was just I don't think they're worth anything. Are there any swift ease out there who have figured out what kind of perfume Taylor swiftwares? Has there been like a breakdown girl laundry detergent bit about that? I mean there's definitely like in the in the subreddits, there's like what are products or what are things that Taylor loves and it's like every

like kind of food or whatever. But um no, if I found out what fragranc she wore, I would buy it within uh, Like it would just it would just buy Apple pay, would just go we know you want this and just buy it would come from inside your body something. Yeah. And the thing is that it wouldn't smell the same as it does on her, like not

everything's going to translate, you know. It is weird like with somebody celebrity things like the cigarette butts thing like if you could prove it, I don't know how you that's the thing you can't prove unless you did a DNA test and contacted Yoko and was like, can we get some hair from a brush or you know, there's every you leave behind. I was reading some article last night about having kids in um now that the world is kind of like ending, and this woman the headline

really got me. Was in New York magazine and it was you know, on Instagram, they'll post like a quote from the article and then they're like click through and you gotta go to the link and then click the picture and yeah, well it was a great piece that this woman wrote about being pregnant during the like, found out she was pregnant in January two twenty gave birth while while they were like evacuating from the wildfires and there's a pandemic, like the world was burning around them

when they had this baby. And her dad had said something like, um, let me, let me look at the quote. But what they were talking about was, um, I don't even know how this relates to Taylor Swift or anything that we were just talking about. Wait while were we just talking about? Because I had a point it all related as I look affriming that it comes from a celebrity, like the cigarette butts and stuff like, Yeah, I mean, that's not helping me at all. I don't know where

my mind is. Oh, this was the quote. Um, My father keeps talking about how crazy it's gonna be for Jude to learn Judah's name of her son for Jude. Oh, there we go. Yeah, I'm totally I'm sure that was it. My father keeps talking about how crazy it will be for Jude to learn about the day he was born in a pandemic while evacuated for wildfires, And all I can think is how much I wish Jude might grow up in a world where the Summer of sounds aberrational.

I suspect he won't. So it's like these kids. I always say that too, like, oh, my god, you had a baby during the pandemic. That's gonna be crazy. That baby, for the rest of his life is going to know when we God, I was born during the craziest year. And it's like, or is that just gonna be the new norm? We keep talking about um my special and how we're not going to shoot a lot of audience because they're probably gonna masked and we wanted to like

stand the test of time. And I'm like, well, then we should probably show them in masks because that's going to be the way the world is potentially. I don't think master are to go away, well, I think, but what do I I literally don't know anything. Well from all my research, I love that like, yeah, I read I saw a line somewhere. Yeah, and uh I clicked on it once. I didn't even look at it, but like I think I know about it. Yeah, Like I feel pretty deep about my um like my science. You

do know a lot about like that. You were like kind of educating me on some COVID stuff because I really tapped out well apparently apparently apparently it's gonna be kind of treated as like we're not stopping it, We're not going to completely get rid of it, but it's going to be like a common cold, terrible cold, but if you have the vaccine, it is like a very bad cold. And so that's eventually where we're going to

get to it. Yeah, okay, well, I mean, isn't that where we're at kind of but I mean people are still dying. I mean, it's just so interesting. I can't I can't get away from the fact that, like when performers used to perform with the flu, they were like applauded for it, Like can you believe Taylor Swift had the flu? Like Kirsen even saw Taylor at the Reputation tour and she was like, I just want to be

honest with you, guys. I'm not feeling great. I feel like I have I'm coming down with something and everyone's like, yes, girls, she did it, And it's like, now that would be like, why wouldn't you protect us from that, Taylor? And I mean I would be like, Taylor spit in my mouth. I would love to get your COVID. I won't be able to smell the fragrance that I get. Yeah, you finally reveal it. I think in history though, I mean World War One, World War two, like people were born.

Like in World War One, like thirty million people got killed, like and then just you know, twenty years later or whatever, another twenty million About the first Prince. I didn't know about the pandemic of nineteen whatever. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. I thought you were like eighteen hundred. I'm like no. But my point is is that there were probably people in that time saying, we're never going to

get out of this. We're never gonna Yeah, so this will probably get forgotten and then something bad will happen. Don't get forgotten because the world is on its way out, y'all, Like humanity is on its way up. The Earth will still be around. I mean, how many years do you think we got left here? I think, uh fifty to a D for humanity truly. I mean, the climate change is getting so scary. I've accepted it a lot, like I have to accept anything else. I can't change it. Um.

But oh, I know what I was talking about. This woman was saying that for her to have a baby, um the amount of carbon emissions that you consume being a human. Like when you bring a person into this planet, you you when you have a baby, you're putting the planet like you're you're taxing its resources, like you're that's

just what you're doing. And she said, even being a vegetarian for twenty five years, that will be counteracted all the good I did by not consuming livestock that put you know, whatever, my carbon footprint from my baby in one year, my baby being alive for one year will undo all the good I did in twenty years of

being a vegetarian. And it's just in just what I was saying was, oh, I know where it connects is that every single person consumes so much trash and like puts so much waste into the world and like puts their DNA all over it that like you know, for me, if I found a fork that Taylor Swift used at a restaurant, I would be like, oh my god, she touched this fork, But like she touches thousands of things every day like she it's every things are everywhere that

celebrities have touched. Like I guess what I'm saying is like it's not that John Lennon probably smoked like a hundred thousand cigarettes in his lifetime, and so it sounds pretty cool that my aunt has one. But it's actually one of the most common things of John Lennon's ever was would there be anything of any celebrities that you would keep? If it was like something either you couldn't wear, not something you can use, it would just be a keepsake. Do you have any keep things that you keep that

aren't on display? Are just like it's cool that I have this. Yeah, Like my mom we went to a black Hawks hockey game when I was a kid and my we were sitting by the bench and my mother goes my son's We didn't even like hockey at the time. Really, I like how you just called her your mother, Yes, my dear mother, my mother or mother gene like you. The more like you like get nostalgic about your mom, it turns into your mother. Like you were never like mother.

I want to go to the hockey game. That feels very psycho ish. If you call mother, if you call your mom mother, I'm so sorry about your childhood. Mama, my mama. She took us to the hockey game, and uh, we want to do that segment. So no, so she took his dog game. She goes, hey, my sons are in the hockey. They gave us two broken sticks by Chris Chelios and Steve Larmer, And if you know anything about these are like big deal sticks. And they gave us three hockey pops, so that was like a cool

I don't know where they are. We literally were playing with the sticks in the front yard that week, like we got home and we were using so that they got even more damage. The DNA was wiped off like most kids would put that, like if you like how you would frame that ship. Yeah, but you used it, but I think you should use it in a way. I agree. I don't. I don't think that. You know, everything has to go someday, you're not going to be

able to take anything with you to the afterlife. So like these this idea of even money, like when people just save money and you're like, you're eighty starts, but you have millions of dollars. You couldn't spend all of this money if you wanted to like live a little stuff being so frugal, you're gonna or give it to your kids. Now, dad, don't wait, don't wait till the end, you do if you bother a windfall of money, right, Like,

what would be the first thing you bought? And I know you're like, oh good owd of this apartment and my own place a good away from you know, I could eat that without that. I'm trying the markets. I wouldn't even buy. I don't even want to buy anything. I just like having the freedom I get more. I'd get fancier sushi rolls, like I really don't like, uh yeah,

I don't know. Maybe you don't give me a little bit more yourself with sushi rolls because you don't have the money for him, Like you really look at a thing and you go no. I mean that was kind of sarcastic, but like I but I'm actually being serious. Yeah, no, I'm I know. I'm thinking, like I I really have everything I kind of want, Like I think it might What if I forced you to spend a hundred thousand dollars today, what would you buy? Like you have to

spend it today? No, you too. You have a hundred thou dollars. You've got to spend it today, and you have to spend it on something for yourself. You can't donate. It would be tough. I'd get I'd probably get some new clubs again, but that's when you like and then a tesla. I think that'd be fun. Okay, like the two door just a fucking badass. Okay, easy answer for me, because I keep wishing that i'd have a hundred thousand dollars.

I would just do everything that the house that I live in needs, Like i'd hire a handyman and just say go to town on this house here. Okay, you you don't nothing specific though, Like is there anything you would like tell him, like start here because you only have a day to get all this done. Uh yeah, I mean I don't know. Just like fill in the cracks, fill in the crack. What would you do? Give the charity? I can't do that, but I probably would, but no

charity straight in my rule, you can't. I would Oh god, Um, you can't give it to anyone else. Um, you have to buy something for myself. Yeah, it's so hard. I don't want anything. I would probably buy a super nice car just to be like, okay, boom, that's done with, Like I just need that tells me what kind of car I'm supposed to get. I need to spend it all, So I'll just I mean, what car is a hundred thousand dollars? Yeah? I know what else is expensive other

than a car? I mean, I guess by a put down a down payment on a house, but then you gotta pay for that mortgage, and then you got to keep up the up deep and then you gotta pay for the m O or whatever. Maybe I get like a you know what I get. I get a I get a bird, and then I would get someone to take care of that bird for like a year, like by myself, like a bird sitter that could come over

when like is on call. So that would cover the salary of someone who would be on call to birds sit and hang out with my bird whenever I wanted. What if I got a grill like as like to cook out no mouth grill like diamond and crusted. I think that actually is so your style. Let's get Kursten

in here and see what she says. I bet she would buy as a kettle bell, but like a golden yeah, Kirsten, Yeah, I wonder what she would buy kurston Um pick up that mike and then put on those headphones and let's get to business bitch puts on headphones like you, it couldn't take you longer. I love when Kursten goes slow around you. Well, I mean we you do because you've got to get out of here. I don't go slow. No, You're just a You're just a delicate person. I'm not

getting mad about it. I just am saying I'm commenting that I'm a fast like. No, I know, that's what I know. It's just you always faster than me. I don't know. I mean, I've always been like do you remember it? Welcome to Show. Kursten my best friend since fourth grade? Um, and she was on the show last week. She's back again. And you don't remember Nikki being like, hey grabbed my book bag for school and her being very quick? What I mean, come on, you can just

tell you do I remember? More like I remember in high school, you'd be like third period, I was just like zip things fast and like books were just like we had. Didn't we share a locker? Yes, don't even act like you don't remember. Usually don't you petition the school to change lockers because you were so disgusted by me? You did? You were like I remember you like talking to our other friends being like, I can't take Nikki's messiness anymore. She's just like so out of control and

like in your year we shared a locker. See she's acting like she didn't remember exactly time out. Why are you sharing a lot because there there was a limited amount and we like love sharing things. Yesterday we went to a spa and we were like, can we go to the bathroom? And they were like, there's one over there, and then there's one and we went in the same one and they go, you don't need to do that.

We like, but we like spending time together where to like grown women just going in the same So did you have to get your own lot? Like what was the messiness? Like loose papers? I imagined there was like loose papers, maybe like old band aids, right, I mean it was just loose yeah, hair brushes, gym clothes. No. When I would open my locker in high school, everything

would fall out every time. Then I push it back in and then it would fall out, and then yeah, I was just really I was going through a lot, like unmedicated, and you couldn't pay attention to it, thank you. I never had school supplies reading. It wasn't because my parents didn't buy me things. My car was fun. I opened up the trunk and like, uh, you know, how

embarrassed do people get? Sometimes sometimes we have an uber driver that's just like that that is a d D and has a messy car, and they shove all the mess in their trunk. But then we have luggage and they I always commiserate so much with someone who's trunk gets open before they wanted to be open, and we'll be back there and they scrambled out of their car like do the one way. And it's like because when you open the trunk, it's like a looking inside their brain.

Things aren't remember in high school closing my like not fully open because I had like an SUV so you could see everything. You know, well, I showed kursed in my back closet yesterday. I let her in. You've seen this thing. It looks like order. And I don't judge anything because whenever I'm in your room, it's because I have to like get in there, and I know that you didn't give me permission. So I walk in and I go like it's a judgment. I don't even remember.

I almost like men in black blankie thing myself. After I leave because I'm like, I can't use this again against him in the court of podcast because he didn't permit me to be in there. I was, you invited me in, but I was, literally, I gotta fix it up. I gotta, I gotta do something. I mean, there's a lot of my stuff in there, but it is it's what is the back closet. It's like our storage space in addition to the sports space we have downstairs in the garage. But it's like a room where he just

throws everything that he doesn't want to deal with. Like it's like the junk drawer of closets. But it's a giant room. No, it's like a walk in closet space. Yeah. I could really utilize that room a lot. It could be a yoga studio. I mean it's like so big it's stuff. Yeah. Person wanted to do that to our locker too, and I was like, there's not enough space. Yeah, we almost opened a spa in our locker that years

in question. I give you a hundred thousand dollars and you have to spend it today and it can't be on anyone but yourself. What are you gonna buy? Oh? I would buy a like I would buy several reformers. Oh, we're gonna put like a Pilates dungeon, like a layer. I don't know. I would get I would get but where and you do you have a place so smart buying like a like a little shed or like a hut, or like a little space I could go to like a hang out space and you would you train out

of there and start a business. No, it's interesting because none of us thought about starting a business with this underground, were like, how can we get rid of it? Start a business? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I mean like I maybe I'm gonna drive Upert with my new Tesla. You don't know, that could be a little business something not with that dirty trunk. Don't Um, that's a great answer. Wait what would you I mean? Um? I I said, I buy just I would want to get rid of it. Well,

I would try to. I would probably donate it get a reform but I would I would get a Transformer. I would get a m Yeah, I would get a Transformer. I would get a Tesla or some kind of like really expensive car that could just get rid of it in one No. No, I said, I'd get a bird, and this put a bird sitter on salary that would always be at my beck and call cuck birder. Yeah,

last night we had so much fun hanging out. Kirsten and I were talking about like she came to stay last week for like five days, and then this week she's here for two days. And like we were talking yesterday of like she as a husband in a house and a life in Kansas City, but like there's a part of her that said, it would be nice to just have two lives where it's like one life is like I live with my best friend because we like

just we are. I love living with friends. I like could I mean we probably it would be nicer if you had your own room, because it would just probably end up being annoying for both of us. But like I love living with you, like I love living with Andrew. And it's just sad to me that when you get married, you just can't. And we're talking about friendship and like you said that the only friends that you hang out with are ones that either your sister or like girls

that aren't married. Well, like on a casual basis, its totally different, Like hey, what are you doing Wednesday? Let's go like just walk I know but like, let's do girls night. Everyone's gonna get a centner, We're gonna all get dressed up. It's like it's nice to have casual friends. You can just last night we stayed up talking to eleven. Oh my god, that was so fun. When I thought it was going to end, and well, I thought, you kept You're always the one that's like, guys, I just

don't think I have to. I can't do this. You gave me. You were like that that you were watching Love on the Spectrum and then we were just talking. We were playing, we were stretching, we were rubbing each other's and it was just like I went to bed being like that is my ideal life, Like I want

to live with friends. That's why I want Ideally I would live in this sort of not commune, but like I would want um houses like around each other, not even on a block, but maybe a subdivision where we all get along with each other and have each other's like partners and stuff, and then we funk each other. We all like I can stop buying like mass suicide like David koresh Yeah, and then eventually we get bunk

beds and we um. Yeah. I thought about it when I was going to bed last night, I was like, if I lived alone, like I really needed people to talk to yesterday, and like we talked a lot, and it just felt like, oh, I would have just slept on that and that would have ate me up, and then in the morning, I'm anger. Would have went somewhere, probably towards the Starbucks person or like towards something. Traffic on the way the doctor. Yeah, traffic on the doctor. Oh,

by the way, I'm dying. I forgot to tell you. I know, I wanted to talk about what your diagnosis was. But you're right, Like, if you're out there and you're a really lonely person and you live alone, and like just open your mind too, even if you're like in your late eight like your middle aged or even older, open your mind to having roommates or like finding another lonely person and living with them, because it's not the same as like being with a husband. You you can

have good boundaries. You don't always have to hang out with each other, but there's someone there when you need it. That's why I love retirement homes are just wait to just play canast or whatever the funk you do. Like with with women, and just like cackle and like be gossipy little. It's like high school again. It's in college door. The new wave though, No, you don't have to wait too long. The new wave of these communes start across

from our house. They're building one. It's called Active Adults. It's fifty five and up. So you're getting in their more close brought I'll be able to move in with him there if she yeah, you can get her as a special needs pet. Um. Wait a second, No, what

what do you feel like? I feel that way. I'm not I'm not shaming marriage because it's great, but it is interesting that the only kind of socially acceptable way to live with someone is either a retirement home situation, college dorms college like roommates, but after adulthood the only

kind of acceptable one. And I understand that having roommates is acceptable, but like the one that's like, oh, of course you're going to do that is marriage and why does it have to be Well, there's also the connotation of like your failure if you're living with someone else past thirty. Yeah, if you say I have a roommate, there's just like, wait, no, what do you think about all this? You guys like you just need to break the chains of like what other people think in regards

to your living situation. Um, but I'm more people to feel this way too, and I feel like I can make the change, but other people are very like chained up. Yeah. Look, I liked living with a roommate up until a certain point. I like living with my fiance. Um, we have very good boundaries. And we also you know, like he'll he'll travel and leave me and then I'll be like living alone or I'll have a friend over and stuff like that. It just depends what you work out with your partner. Um. Indeed,

space I love that. Um Ariana Grande has a song called Nasa and she's like, uh, in a world, um A need space, um A need space. And it's like like n A s A like she needs space, like Nasa needs space. And it's about like, um, you can miss me on the phone tonight. We don't have to see each other. And she's talking about like when you get in a relationship all of a sudden, it's just

like you're never apart. My parents were apart because my dad got COVID and he had to go out to their cabin and they were apart for like a week and a half and they both like missed each other in a healthy way. But nothing would ever get them apart like that unless it was COVID. And it's like, why why can't we take breaks from each other without it being like what we do? We go on girls

trips and come I don't think most people do. I think most people I just know like or like it has to be like a bachelor party and then every guy's like they're all like pent up, and yeah, they're like, I need dispatch your party. I gotta get away from my wife and get like maybe like once every three months. It's completely acceptable to take a week away from each other. Let's not even think about It's not because our relationship

is bad. It's just mean. Andrew's girlfriend is in Chicago and Kirsten, do you feel like when you go back home to your husband, there is that like you know that that extra fire burning totally whenever we have time

away makes that even more ignited. But it makes me sad that when people but I miss I miss like being like like when I leave here, I think you missed me, Yeah I did, I left I think you unexpectedly, like I don't, but I do think that you You made some comment to me like I was telling Corey

like I felt alive there or something. And it's like, I think not a lot of women get I think a lot of men, And maybe I'm just doing this from what I observe of, Like my if my mom goes on a girl's trip, my dad's like, well I want to go to a a trip. Like it always has to be even, you know, like there's never like I think in a lot of relationships, it has to be like, well, if you do this, I'm going to do this, and it's and then if we both can't do it, then

neither of us do it. And it's like just allow people in your life to have space from you and know that that's like a loving thing they're doing for you, and not like they want to get away from you, like I think people take it so personally and then people feel trapped. There'd be a different word in space. I feel like space when someone says, hey, I need space, that's like, oh, that's a precursor too, I'm gonna want

to separate, you know what I mean. Like in the h in the lack of con we think like, oh, space oh you want space, that's net. Oh you don't like me anymore, you don't want to be um, I need a girl's trip. Well then it's like, oh, so you're gonna go out with your slut friends and and suck dick. I know your friend Bridget, she's a fucking whore and she's gonna want to go to bars and

get drunk. I know what you do with her. In which case, if you have a guy that talks to you like that or talks about your friends like that, get rid of them. But like, I do know that there are a lot of husbands that get jealous about girls trips, and there's a lot of wives that get jealous about guy's trips. And don't even get me started on a guy wanting to go hang out with girls.

I mean that's another. Like girl friends, the idea of having same or opposite sex friends is completely fraught, and I I'm guilty of it too, of of being like my boyfriend shouldn't have like, shouldn't love his girl friends as much as like that. He says, I love you two girls, straight girls that are single and pretty. I don't like that, Like there's the only thing that makes me jealous about that is that she has a vagina. There's nothing like if she if it was a boy,

I would go, oh, it's so sweet. He says, I love you too, Ron, you know, like yesterday. But instead it's like, why does he love her? Why does he have to say I love her? It's like, what because she has a vagina? You're get mad? He don't you trust him? Not to You gotta trust your partner, hopefully that if they want to be with someone else, they

would be so trust that if they're with you. I remember my ex boyfriend said that to me once when I was like, I don't know, I haven't heard from you in like twenty four hours, and like, I feel like you should just text me at least like once a day. We were like easing back into getting together, and he goes, if I don't want to be with you, if I don't want to be your boyfriend, I'll let

you know. Like because he could sense that, I was just like, you don't want to be with me, You're just doing it to be nice or like, and he was just like, I'll you'll know. It's not going to be like a guessing game of like does he like me or not like trust me. And it just like took that. It took the edge off so much because I was just like, oh, yeah, do I think he's like I'm tricking him into being with me? And the

answer was kind of yes. And as soon as I was like, oh, he would leave me in a heartbeat if he wanted to, I could relax. If that someone loves a friend, if you're not getting the same the same or or or more for that matter, it shouldn't feel as like like, well, yeah, I get that. That's

a different story if you're not getting the love. But if they're if they're just giving love to everybody, sure, no, no, no, If they're I'm saying, like, they give you enough love, but you're getting threatened by the fact that there they

love a friend. And and and if you if you're jealous of like your husband's girlfriend or your wife's boyfriend, and if you switch their gender, and you go, what I have a problem with that, And the answer is no, then you've got a problem because the only reason is

because of gender. If it's because they like them, I mean I would get tealose of a guy if my boyfriend didn't love me and was talking I love you too, a guy friend, I would even get tellus of that, you know, not in a sexual way, but just so I think it's like whenever I also say that to

girlfriends who have like guys that they bring around. One time, I remember at the seller um, one of our friends brought around some like really idiot, like some just dumb guy, and I go, next time you bring someone around the table, if it's a guy, why don't we run that through the same litmus tests that we would bring a girl into this table. Because I'm very much more discerning about girls I bring into my groups, my my hangs than

I am with guys. Like guys were just like she's saying, this new guy and he kind of sucks, but like, let's let him in, let him ruin the whole knife for all of us. Change the gender of the guy and made it a girl. Would you want to hang out with that girl with your girlfriends? And if the answer is no, then later onto the news apparently, oh man, it's Wednesday. You know what that means. It is Wednesday. It's Wednesday. Definitely Wednesday, Yes it is. I hope you're

having all the swells out there having a great week. Yeah, sure, Are we in fall yet? Are we done? Really? Huh? Fall fall begins the September, so yes, we are definitely so we're falling? All right? Well this first story, I think we all remember this, but biseet bracelets are making a strong comeback. How do we feel about this? There was like cuffs, there was one with a snake. I remember, like a barbed water around your No, no, that's a tattoo. But like a bracelet, like girl would wear like gold

bracelets around. That was like maybe early two tho we go again. You know, low waist, low rise jeans. Early two thousands is coming back again? What is going? Why do we keep eating things so much? You can do that's the case. And let's be honest, a lot of too in um you know, bell bottoms and like late nineties that was a repeat of the seventies and so like it's there's what, oh, yeah, that's back. So like nineties just had a renaissance. Yeah, come back stronger than

a nineties trend um. But then now it's two thousand's we're getting into like I think it's on a thirty year site. Would you rock a bicep bracelet? It's it's a strong name, like any kind of ex if I liked it, if I thought it was cute, yeah, I would do it. That area fluctuates too much with me, Like it will be like one size one day and then the next day it's like your jack you have

like muscles. But then even if like women know, like your biceps like fluctuate based off your cycle and like what you yes, like they could be like real one day and then one day they could be like like that's like elastic then like a slap bracelet. Yeah, feel like like those are nineties and they're not in anymore. Kids were dying from this. That was weird from slap Yeah, that's why they stopped making them. They were cutting their

risks be met. Oh my god, that'd be so crazy if like you were like my son committed suicide out of nowhere. He did it with a slab bracelet. No, mom, it was an accident. Please don't put that. Oh wait, curson's putting. Uh this is like turning. That's a um hair. You have too much skin in your upper arm to make it. No, not you, I'm saying people, And oh how dare you sacious? Skin? No? No skin, no skin. I like it. I like jokers. I like um, I

like like girly like accessories. I used to not want to stand out or take many fashion statements back when these kind of things were going on, I wanted to kind of disappear. And so now I like really like my body and I don't mind fun accessories and people going oh what does that? What does that say? Or like, oh I like your I like kind of like having conversations about fashion. I used to think it was like and you get attention, it's like, yeah, I am trying

to make some friends. Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah, anklets, let's bring those back. Remember the ones that had little bells on him that would go like those are I kind of like those two anklets were so toe rings. I remember your sister and Becky Eaton had toe rings. They of course they kind of feel weird to a to ring on. I don't know why. Extra yeah, yeah,

you don't want stretching out her lobes. Doesn't like anything other than studs in her ears, because it stretches them out and makes them like oh and they start like sagging. You know old ladies lobes where it's just hanging on by that little thread, like heavier, all the good earrings, you're like, oh, these are cute, put them on. It's like it's just there, like kettlebells on your ears. How do you feel about guys with rings? I mean, are we I get it? Like that? Do joke I've been doing.

It's been killing about that? Oh yeah, what was it again? It was when you look at a gut. Sometimes you look at a guy's hand to see if he's wearing a ring, and sometimes his hand is moving kind of fast because he's playing guitar, jerking off or whatever, and so you can't tell which finger it's on, and you're like wasting it on his ring finger. And it's like, actually, I hope it is. I'd rather this guy be married than just a guy that wears a ring, So look

for that in my next busial. But what are you married to? If you're wearing four rings? I feel if I could do my whole special, but I just quoted like piecing together. Oh I have a joke about that on this and then it would just be all my special, Like I could just do it that way. Oh yeah, I have a mismatch. Just each podcast clip of me, Like I have a joke about this blah blah blah blah. You know, someone please document them because I'm not keeping

sure your neckflix. Like when you talk about guys wearing necklaces, Yeah, that's that's a fun one. That was his grandfather's true things. I don't mind guys wearing jewelry. Now, I don't mind a ring. Okay, how about this. You go to have sex with a guy, would you want him to take

his rings off before having sex? No? I always when I was with someone who had rings, I was like, leave them on, let's get let's make those fingers even chunkier, lick it off the ring, Like I know, I would really stay on and I would want to be like, I'll get it off, Like I'm kind of gross. But you don't want to ring inside. You know it's not gonna come off and added to the bunch. It's a lost and found. Yeah, I sound like a jewelry box when I'm on a treadmill. Um. Yeah, it's a rock

tumbler in my us. Yeah. No, I don't mind a ring, and I don't mind them leaving it on because I just like, I think it's kind of like I think it's you know, I think things are funny and like doing things with like calm is funny or like your own like I like licking guys fingers after do you ever do that? I don't. You don't have to answer, like it's just like you deal with like dirty rings like your locker night school. And she's like, yeah, I don't,

like I don't want to those rings in our locker. No, And I'm making a long time I was crude in high Schoolgan Megan Trainer, Oh, I know about this. They have toilets next to each other. Yeah, it's a lot, I think her husband. Yeah, her and her husband have toilets next to each other. Which was an SNL like big commercial. Yeah, I mean so she wanted they were having kids. They had kids, so they don't have a lot of time. They pee next to each other a lot.

They only pooped next to each other twice. Wait thirty seconds, like what we there's something about that and then we go to the bathroom together. That's true, Well, but you're you're in there. I sometimes do like I'm talking to someone I'm hooking up with and I go pee, and like he just doesn't want any part of seeing that or hearing that. And I'm sometimes like, I just want to keep the story going well, Pete like, I don't

mind the sense. I don't mind. I think maybe guys associate sitting down with taking a poop, so then maybe a message with their head. No, I don't. I think that's a weird thing to do. But you know what, great that she's in a relationship with someone who feels this has the same kind of boundaries as she does

when it comes to that. Like, I kind of like couples that just agree like, yeah, farting in front of each other does not make us less attracted, whereas some people are like, God, I would love to fart in front of my boyfriend or girlfriend, and then the other person is like, don't do that, and so you have

to like hold in your farts all the time. I mean, I know some that are like, from my own perspective or anything, I don't have personal experience with holding in my farts till it burns and I have to walk outside and pretend I'm walking the dog that we don't have. Wait, do you think that there should be some thing's left off like them? Yes, but that's to each their own. I'm just saying everyone is different boundaries and they seem to have like coincide with the same ones. What what

you and Brenn are now fart in front of each there? Yeah, well I fared many more times in front. She's done it once, so one for every seventy five of mine. But I thought it was adorable. I really did, like I thought it would in the past, and maybe I would think it would turn me off, be like what, girls don't far, girls never ship. And now it's like, let's keep going, let's let's keep this train going. No, what's gonna happen next? Maybe fart in front of you?

And you really were uncomfortable with it for a while, and now I just let it go so much that it's like I feel like it's now not so much like a You used to like giggle so much when I would fart, and I'd be like, I'm sorry, I'm farting,

like that's the thing I do. It's just funny because like you see a girl and they're like, you're not dainty, but like you you have a girl face, and then the hero it's like an opposite, like like it sounds like you have the lead singer of Metallica in your asshole, and but you look like you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's just that I think opposites and like just see like they're very low like all farts, you know. I don't know. I feel like like, oh my gosh.

Kursten used to like like it, says Charlie pooth Yea. Kurston used to be able to suck in air through her butt and then blow it out. She was so talented. Your legs up up in the air like yeah, kind of like almost like child's pose. And then like her, she would be on the ground with her like doggie style with her. I could like reach, like you can still do it, bitch, I know you can. Don't think, oh my god, this will be amazing, go like this. Yeah that would. I would kind of lock my elbows

and I'll go. But I honestly I tried to do it recently. I can't do it. You have to have your pants off to get the air in your butt or no, can you get your butt through as we all know from wearing masks and move him so I can say, oh, yeah, he is so mean to Kurston Lee. He's been biting her and like snapping. I love the video you took. I took last night if you like.

I'm like, there was a kid in our high school who put his like his talent was sucking in air and farting, and he did in front of whole high school and we're we're all dying. But like he did as a talent. I was like, that's so we're like, we're okay with that. Yeah, we called him he looked like Beavis from somebody. They call him Beavis, like butthole accordion like her Yeah, yeah, yeah, And he would just and that was he would do it on stage, and he did it on stage. Never Oh you wanted to write?

Not really, I was too scared. I didn't. I wouldn't know what you're part of you that was so like jealous of people that could get up there. I'm projecting I always know. Yeah, yeah a little bit. But any time I was in a play, I'd started shaking and I just it wasn't for me. I was too way too nervous. How did you get over that? I know you got you got the sasquatch to play music with you while you deliver jokes, but like, how did you

conquer being shaky? Because I I don't ever have an answer for how I did that either, I don't really have an answer other than taking the class. How I guess taking a comedy class, although it's not the real way to do a pea that. No, they don't, huh. I mean, I think you're putting that on it. I think comedy classes are a great way to break I agree. I think so. Yeah. Um, a lot of people say that you've got to get out there in a real mi You can't just actually, but you can start a

comedy of course. Yeah, of course. So that's what I did, and it got me the training wheels on, I think. Yeah, eventually they came on the confidence um yeah, and the do you remember the Talent Show? And Kirk what did you do? Did you do one? Yeah? Do you you don't remember Junior year? Do you play guitar? I don't know. Annie Saracino did, and Leslie Lambers and I and Annie Sarracino and I think Emily Herster as well play guitar girls. Yeah,

we're saying indigo girls least complicated. I didn't realize. And Anna Saracino is now a very open lesbian woman, and um, Leslie was kind of like hippier. I mean she she is not uh, she's straight, but like it's you know her and I, I don't know. We just loved that song and I didn't know it was like a very I ran because did you just stick it in out of uterus and get it lost? Um? I loved that complicated, the hardest to learn what Lee scoplacate? How did it go? Oh?

We fucking crushed it. And I wish there was a video of it because my parents were in Paris at the time of this. Yeah, maybe the video. I don't think they do. But it was so it was so rewarding, and even though it was one of the gayest things I've ever done, and I was just I don't know how people weren't like Nikki just came out like they all just but we It was so fucking fun. I should play that again and learn it on guitar. Okay, let's take a quick break and come back with what

I care? Why do I care? I have no idea? Why do I care? God? She sounds so fun Okay. Oprah Winfrey said she only has three closed pals. I don't have a lot of friends. Oprah says she only has three friends. Funny because everyone claims to be friends with Oprah. You know what I mean? Oh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, Gail King, Reese Witherspoon No, Jenniferransten, Ellen Steadman, Um do do I may Angela? No? She has three friends with Tom Cruise. No. Is it someone I know? Yeah, one

of them? You know? Can you give me some initials? Ms? Oh Stewart No? Um, uh your sort of note. Um, don't know what it is. It's it's what's his Arnold Swarzenegger's wife. Who is uh? Maria's striver? Yes? Really they're friends and Bob Green three years. They've been for years. Yeah, she met Gayl and Marie around the same time. It's been forty two years. Oh my god. I um, I really love Oprah. She has a good quote. She goes, surround yourself with someone who is as happy for your

happiness as you are for your happiness. I mean, you need friends that are happy in their own lives so that they can actually be authentically happy for you. It doesn't open need that, because how hard would it be to be Oprah's friend if you weren't, if you were at all insecure about your own life. I mean, she's you're always gonna pale in comparison if you're comparing yourself to Oprah. Um. And yeah, so she's obviously friends with very secure people. Oh that's cool. I mean, um, I

like that. I've always loved her and Gail's relationship and me and Halla call each other Oprah and Gail Kerson loves her job, and I think she is genuine. She runs unhappy. Yeah, Curson is such a happy person and and like only once the best for me, and uh is it? You know? I I have trouble with that, Like I'm not the best at if I'm I get jealous.

I'm getting way better at it. But it's I used to get jealous of friends that would get boyfriends when I wanted one so bad, or you know, get um, you know, in the business, get opportunities that I some stuff I didn't even want. But I would just be like, oh, now that they have that, they're going to get other things that I might want. And it's just like it's such an ugly place to be, but you know, I try so hard to not. I mean, Kristen, do you ever get jealous of people? Yeah? Well, is it? There's

jealousy and then there's envy. There's a difference, I know when we never know the difference. I think envy is like you want that thing. Jealousy is you want the thing, and envy means you resent them for having a thing you want. I think envy has a connotation the bad one, right, Yeah, well then I didn't do the bad one. I do the good one. I do the one. I mean, I let it. What do you get jealous of? I try

to let it motivate me. That's why I don't go on Instagram a lot, because like I get kind of envious of, like, oh, look at this friend who has like these cute kids and looks like everything is perfect and they're making cookies on a Thursday morning and I'm slving away with But then I think about it, I assess it, I feel the feeling, and then I go

but I don't really want that. Yeah, you were showing me something on Instagram yesterday and you're like, look how perfect she is, like our perfect little kids and she's still in love and she's beautiful. And I was like, this sounds posing at like a waterfall in the woods with a photographer that you have to like hike out there with and your kids. You have to have that get them matching outfits, and you have to clean off their feet because their feet get all dirty walking over

to the waterfall. And then the kid doesn't breakfast that morning, and they're like they you have all these like amazing poses where they're like, you're a mom me by this waterfall and it's just like you didn't see all the

bull shit around it. And so like when I think about those things, I think, Okay, if someone were documenting my life, like seeing me like haughing, like with my client, like having a moment of fun at work, or just like hanging out with Corey and here's my dog, and then I would think, Okay, I'd be probably jealous of my life. I have gotten jealous of my own life before. I'm not kidding. I used to go through my Instagram.

You ever go through your feed to go like what do people when I used to be dating and like meeting someone knew who didn't really know who I was, And then I'm like, oh, they're probably going through my Instagram. I want to just see what they see because I don't even you know, I post things and I don't ever look at what it looks like as a whole, and sometimes I'll go through and be like, oh my god, like and I'll start to feel these feelings of jealousy

on my own life because it's a lie. Yeah, we trick ourselves and like I'll see myself in like a suit with like smiling and I'm like, and I look really put together, and I was like, I was never sadder and more depressed than when that photo was taken and we lied to ourself that was a great night. That was a great time because you know what I mean, like, because then it's too sad to be like I was sad there. I was there. I was sad that, you know what I mean. Yeah, So like I think, I

think it is easy to be. Yeah, you get jealous of people, but then you think about it, You're like, I don't really want I have to say, I don't really want that. How that looks. I don't want that I want And I just know that so many people that I had to get been jealous of over the years and have either looked the way I want to look or and especially look I mean the women that I look at that I go, oh my god, I would love to look like that. It takes so much time to give to work out all the time, you

have to eat a certain way. They're really they're dieting there. There's a lot of times they're just I don't I don't ever wake up and go, oh, I have to go do this thing I don't want to do, Like I don't have to go meet with no offense to training like some people love it. But I used to get out of bed and go I have to go to like I had to go to the gym. Was

a slave. Yeah, but you make working out fun and and and something you can work into your life when I have in the past, and I think a lot of people approach working out this way, are going to the gym. It's like if you skip a day, you feel like the worst person, and then you can plummet into like it's either all or nothing, and it feels

like a prison. And when I see these people with perfect bodies or perfect asks or like perfect wardrobe, like they're spending a lot of time doing all of that, and I have extra time to do the things I love. So I just always try to think about and I

know a lot of those people are fucking miserable. It's interesting that Kirsten's like, I hate when I see a mom with two kids making cookies, and then you're like, I hate when I see a girl in a bikini on a beach like that, It's like interesting what we can get jealous about, Like I don't get tell us of a supermodel in this world of like I always get jealous of supermodels, and I always wonder why Kristen doesn't.

I go, like, after we are with Sarahlena for a weekend, I'll be like, it was really hard, Like every it just is very hard for me to be around someone that every time they leave the room or every time we get to talking about beauty, it's like we would kill to be Seelena. Oh my god, she's oh my god, look like she's just the best. Like but saying that, I get it, but like why that to me? I can't get over that. Here comes my person with autism brain. I can't get over that because I because I go,

it's well, then there's there's a value judgment there. If every girl that I'm with and every guy I've ever talked to you goes They're the most beautiful person I've ever met, Like, oh, I would kill to be with her, It's like, then if you're with me or you are you look like me, then it would if you got to choose, you would rather look like her or you would rather be with her. And to me, it's like, well, then I don't want to be with someone that would

always want someone better if they could get it. The reason you're with me is because you couldn't get see Lena. The reason you look like no, they like you because you're not Seelena, because you have a different characteristics, different personality like I don't. I don't think because there with they can find Sarah. You can find someone gorgeous. There's obviously better looking than I mean, that would never end. Then you're gonna set yourself of her failure all the time.

And sera Lena, by the way, it has the same in securities that everyone has. Right just where you look at her and you hear her going like a girl, look at this girl that he's dating. Now she's so like, look at her hair, and I go, what are you You were seriously but I'm not. No, No, you guys all just said she's I'm not serian about a professional model friends, No, but I'm saying she has imperfect. She

has imperfect. Sea Lena has like a beautiful personality that just goes Yeah, like if she didn't have her personality, I really see who we're talking about. It Sarah Lena C E R E l I N A N y C. She's just beautiful in and out, and I think it's it's her personality that really makes her like all of her beauty shines. Well, you can't see her personality when she's doing, you know, photo shoots and she kills. You're right, we actually can. She can tell her personality the way

she walks in the room. It's like a playful she It makes her even more. But I mean, let me just say final thought on this chunk, and I just I'm not trying to be like I'm not pretty. Guys tell me I'm pretty. I'm just saying that when you acknowledge when when I'm I just feel weird when I am sitting Like there have been times where I have a crush on someone and they meet Sarah Lena and then she gets up from the table and the guy is just like, oh my god, She's like the most

beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. And it just and the person may or may not know I even have a crush on them, but and they may not think that would offend me because obviously she is, but it does. It hurts my feelings because it's just I just don't think it's fair that, like God gets like that, and I just feel like, well, then you should be with her, like you shouldn't. You should shoot

for the stars. Like I don't ever want to be with someone that is less attractive than the most attractive I want. If I thought someone was a sere Lena, I would settle for nothing else lower than that. Like when I like a guy they look like see Lena to me, Do you know what I mean? I'm never settling for like someone who like, oh, I can't have that they're a model. I like, I go for that

if I want them. And I'm not saying that. And I know what you're saying is like Nikki, people like you because your personality and all these things that a lot of models don't have. But when someone like Selena has the personality and as a model, why would you ever go for me? Because she has different kind of issues, there's different she's uh, I mean, if it's just based off of me, because they can't get her. No, I don't. I think that's like, I mean, she looks different. She

looks extremely different than you. If if the guy that likes blond and you know, different guys like different looks. But would you ever date a guy that said, uh that she was like the like they can't even speak around someone that you were sitting at a table like if I I've had a crush on a guy before.

I remember the seller that like she came by and then she got up and they just like felt like the same thing that always happened in high school with my sister, You and Kurt, You and Halla and Huffy. Whenever my sister would come and be like Nicky, can I borrow some jeans? Or like what she wouldn't borrow jeans because she was center than me, but she'd be like Nikki, um, can I get my jeans back that you ruined or whatever? And then she would leave and

shut the door. They would all fall on the ground and go, God, your sister were so because we had like acne and we were secure and that we were high schoolers. That would never be the case today. No, you do it everyone, You guys all do it with Sea Lena when we're on trips, you all when she leaves the room, you go, God, look at her ass. It's perfect when I'm with someone. When I'm with like Brenna, like that Jordan guy came to the show and he

and he's an attractive guy. He's tall. I'm like, God, he's tall and whatever, and we like joke about how he has these qualities, these physical qualities that I don't have. And sure my little insecure about it, but I feel like you can like talk about it and not like get like jealous about it, more joke about it, like like my jealous My jokes are are inside jealousy, Like sure, I'd rather be taller. And I think you're talking about but Brenna is not saying Jordan's the hottest guy she's

ever seen. And then you're still like her. Would you still like a guy that said, wow, that person? Would you still like a girl that in front of you said about another guy that's the most attractive person that's ever lived. I think I could handle it. I think I would laugh about it. I think I would be like he is, he's a beautiful man, but you know what, talk to him for an hour and you're gonna well, I mean, this is my like, you know, insecurities bubbling up.

And I will go back to what I said at the beginning, which is if they wanted to be with them, they would, But that's where I go back to, Well, they can't because she's at their league, so they have to settle for old Glaze Dog. And then I feel like, well, I don't want to be with you if you're settling for me. I know it's psychologically, isn't it, like evolutionary. They're going to give you credit for that joke, and that's my joke. By the I didn't want to, don't

you don't give away that joke. That's a good one, I know, but don't give away that one. I save something for this one. We like naturally seek people on our level though, like we do, but we like that because it's familiar. It's like, Okay, I assess you have these trades that are attractive. I have these that are attractive.

But we're both not tends, right, But I for some reason, you just said something on the podcast about this about guys and girls that we always go for like what we are and like or like around what we are. If you're an eight, you'll go for an eight or whatever. Aside from if you're like a man with money or fame,

you can get whatever you want. But but it's true, um, I would just I think it goes back to my problem with like people put so much value, like moral value on looks, and I'm talking about like whether you're good or bad, Like looks equal good hot, the hottest person equals the best person. And I'm I know that's not through. I know that there are models with garbage personalities that are like the most gorgeous women in the world, but they would suck to be around. They're not funny,

they're not interesting. But I don't think the men that I witness dating women, they it's it's very I think that men don't really need personality. And that's where I get mad. It's like, Okay, well, yeah, a guy might like me because I have a better personality than a model, But then don't actually care about personality, I think because it's the only thing that doesn't age. I do. I do feel like guys care, I really do. I really do.

I think that like at first hook up, if you're just fucking you know, and it's like, yeah, I want to funk the hottest girl. I don't give a funk what she I don't care. Hopefully she doesn't talk. But if you want something real and something like authentic, then like you take out her vocal cords and make sure she doesn't talk, you know what I mean? Yeah, you get an octopus which to test a spell on. Here alright, final thought, let's it's a collection of kids getting ready.

So that's your voice getting ready for some kids. Okay, noah, we have um our listeners sending kids and let's hear what what what? Let's hear the kids. And if you don't know, you know, means when you're trying to be cool for other people and it's doing something you wouldn't do if you were alone. So that other favorite part as a bestie, this is my favorite part when I listen to you guys. So yeah, okay. This one comes from Brie Hi Nikki Laser podcast, My Name's Free. I

wanted to submit my cub moments. I was at a bar with my boyfriend and his friends. Somehow a guy that I knew from high school I knew one of my boyfriend's friends and was there with us. It seemed like he was trying to maybe show off in front of everybody, and we were talking about baseball, and he said, true, how bad was my rage and the dog out when we were playing baseball? Ways, I like to add to cook and make it sound like I'm throwing up, so in my brain when he said that, I just went,

oh my god, you're so good. WHOA that was so good, dude, that is so good. That was the kiss thing I've ever heard. Dude. First of all, let's let's break down this jacket. For sure, he had rage, and he's bragging about rage. That's already annoying. Number two bro, he started with bro. Number three, he thought he was he was. He was asking for validation that he wanted to when he had the rage. You can tell he marked it like, we're probably gonna talk about this later, and it's going

to be it's gonna be a good story. It's gonna make me look like I care about the game a lot. So I bet when he threw his fucking baseball glove or whatever, there was some part of him that was like, I hope this gets brought up later when we go out to dinner, and then it didn't. So he got a little bit drunk enough to get the courage to actually bring it up himself, which is so cut to that guy. Literally an hour later, he's gonna be overly drunk.

He's gonna be literally raging. He's gonna try to fight somebody who said that he's probably wasn't that good at baseball.

And I have a feeling this guy does not rage because people that actually have rage issues are very ashamed of it, and I don't think this guy, um, he wouldn't be bragging about his rage unless it was like he probably watched something where a woman once said, like I like a man who just like the sexy when a guy loses his temper, and so he was probably thinking is cool he saw a clip of a baseball player like throwing their mid it was like, wow, that looks cool, or someone was talking about in a way

that he thought it would look cool. But I'm guessing this guy doesn't rage. No, as someone with uh rage sometimes, do you think this guy has rached? Yeah, I mean definitely like the alcohol that contributes to it. That, yes, But I don't think. I think if you're bragging about your school over your rage, it's just compensating for it. Was sold in the dugout, not just like up in the stands like he's I mean, bringing up anything high school related is a little It was high school. Yeah,

oh he was referencing in high school. But he was like, I'm sorry, I didn't even know that. It's like an out Bundy four touchdowns in one game anything. He got some attention for it back in the day and was trying to impress whatever girl was there. I bet Bree is cute, and even though it's his, she has a boyfriend. He was still trying to seem like macho, Oh, it's just so sad and okay, can I play this one for Mary? Yes? Okay, Hi there, Um. I would like to report a I was on a zoom call for school.

I'm in a master's program and we were sent into breakout rooms to do some group discussion. And when I opened my breakout room with three others, one man was casually reading a book right in front of the camera that he was not reading before the normal class um, but I guess he decided to pick it up. He was reading for the breakout room to start, which takes like two seconds, and from the cover, I just said Philocybin mushrooms and everyone was finally in the room and

we started talking. He was like, oh, sorry, I just wanted to read a little bit. Nobody thinks you're fucking cool for reading two second break, so very clearly put it right in front of the camp and no one reads like the book there facing anyway, thank you for giving me this word to describe a lot of things. I see you girl, Yeah girl, you guys love you too.

Oh my god, Mary, Like, that's such a good one because pretty much any time you can see what someone's reading, if while they're reading it, they're being cut because no one needs to read like their bell in Beauty and the Beast walking through the like look there's she goes and things like that's the only time you should read

with your book up in your face. Okay. It's very like you know when you're on the subway in New York and it's like a guy has two stops and he picks up this book about like like Latin some word, and like, I just have a joke about people that read books on the train. I would just like watch them and they always just they do the thing where they are reading and then they go and I would just go fuck you, we get it? And are you reading? But you're you're laughing at literature? Oh my god, do

you even own a TV? Like those people? They just they love I laugh a lot at um. When I was reading David Spade's book on my phone on the plane, I was cracking up so hard that I felt kid because I thought people might think I was trying to get attention, because sometimes people do that even when they're watching shows. They just laugh a little too hard because you're like working out in the gym and then listening to this and it's like and they laugh and they

try to hold it in they go. But sometimes he would do so I don't know when that's killed literature. Very funny because he had the book and he was dying for someone to go, wait, Jane, and so yes exact do you wait? Have you taken those yes? Wait? I thought those were legal. Wait a minute, but can you imagine being on a zoom call and reading a book so that it is up enough for the screen to see it. I mean, that's insane. Mr Corman. He

was doing a zoom on a first date. And then you stopped watching that show, But well America did because it got canceled. Oh well, I watched the last one and in the in the last buy, but he's on this first date and she's like, oh, I see a guitar. Do you play guitar? And in background he was like, oh man, I didn't want to my guitar out, but like it's like having like a guitar in the back. Oh, I have guitars in the background of all my pictures.

And someone last night goes, do you play guitar? When we posted on our Nicky Glazer pod, we post a picture of Andrew rubbing my feet and someone goes, Nicky, do you play guitar? And I thought they were being like you showing up your guitars, like they were saying, like, I promise you. I've never been like I hope someone in the background sees my guitar because I I'm not

a almost worse than laughing. Oh sorry, go ahead, go ahead. Well, I just want to make sure that these books are these here to be, These books are now here to Becuse it's Gary Shandling's book, which is just like that's a good It's Seinfeld is there, It's Jerry Seinfeld's book, Cathy Griffin's book, and Howard started, it's not trying to because these are just things I like just checking and

I've never even read most of those books. I love when people read books too on trains and instead of laughing, they they get this look like they just learned something like like that's almost worse to me because it's like very subtle. It's like I'm smarter, Like I know more words since saw dude watching porn at Starbucks. I'd rather that. Yeah,

I mean, honestly, you're right. Someone just starts laughing or going like that's how you learned the reverse cow girl kind of that you tread all right, let's get to the last like this, you wrap them around them. Yeah, I told them. I told people about it, I think in the in my alone time a couple of days ago. This one's from Lindsay. Hey, Nikki, this is Lindsay and Arizona, longtime listener, first time caller. I had a moment happened to me today that I thought I would share with

you and get your input. So I was with the customer doing a site tour, walking around the building premises, and neither of us had our phones on us and needed to know what time it was another guy was walking toward us opposite direction. So the dude I was with said, Hey, Toby, do you happen to have the time? This Toby guy responds in military time, like who are you? You're so cool, dude, because for knowing military time, I'm sorry, but read the room. This was not a military situation.

I'm so confused. I don't know military time. So my question to you is was this a co moment on his behalf or mine or not knowing military time? Maybe that's a normal thing. I don't know. Anyway, that's my story. I love the show. Thank you so much for the like he probably talks about, like when he's like far, he's like, yeah, we're about four clicks from the Walgreens, like everything we're gonna have to send in the Alpha

data team. Yeah, like what are we doing? So? Yeah, him giving some telemarketer his last name, it's a Delta alpha, Like he's memorid threes. I the military time, and you know who does that to doctor? They live off military time. Guess what? Like if you are I can maybe understand someone's listening and going like, well that's what I know, you know, Like that's just what I'm used to knowing tough luck, don't you. You have to realize that other

people don't live in that world. Like that's one of the kidst things you can do, is like uh, abbreviate something and when you're talking in a group, like everyone fucking knows who it is, like like if you do, Like last night, my dad goes, um, yeah, I mean I was accepted at CCM. And I'm like, no one knows what CCM. It's like, you have to say Cincinnati Conservatory of Music. That's kid, you know, he didn't mean to,

you know what. I hate what's very when someone when American person says cheers at the end, I don't know why that really signature cheers. Well that and then personally cheers cheers. I don't know really for an identity so much if they're but that's military Timey Clayton Champagne, his last name is Champagne, and he used to say cheers and that I didn't mind that because his name is Champagne. That's a fun little thing. Yeah, that's better than have

a good day. What do they say? People say cheers as a way. I've just been like Starbucks, thank you cheers versus snaying have a good day. I don't know I have a good dad. Okay, Well, like it's weird you care about them having a good day. I will say that sometimes if someone's read to me, I'll go have a good one, and they don't know that I mean death. So I'm not lying by being like, have a good one, and it means like means I hope you die, like and that's not real, but like I'm not.

I can still get away with saying something positive without being a dicker. Ahead I'm a dick. Here's good day. Um. Now they say it though, like like they say it like they read like like it's it's all the same kind of person. It's like this like identity thing that you're saying, like they're searching. You don't have to search that hard to have an identity, just kind of you're cool already. It's generally white people because we don't have any culture and we are searching for one all the time,

and like something that sets us apart from that. We can be like this is my thing, and it's just find something other than you're the guy that says years or your jackpot or something. Yeah, like don't get jackpot freaking tattooed on your arm because idiot. And don't get a jaguarre tattooed on your arm because you think it represents Florida, which it doesn't in any way other than there's a football team that you don't even you're not even like a huge fan of that football I don't

even know where they are. Wait, Jacksonville, I know, all right, Jacksonville organ c. Did you just like almost hit my boob? Bob, Sorry, it feels good. They're really big, They're they're heavy because we're both p ms. Our booms are both like so big, not big, but like heavy. Two cows over here. Okay, guys,

keep looking up because I send them in. We fucking loved those those a plus because to Bree, Um, Liz and Mary today like those were all very different and one time he thought of before and Lindsay, Lindsay Mary and oh sorry, I said, Liz h and Brie, thank you so much. I remember those names because they're all different cheeses, just kidding. Only one is Um, don't be cut out there look for Cause and Kay