Pomp and fucking circumstance, motherfuckers! The Draft House is graduating this week! We're back with our final episode of the month of August - Back to School month! We're seniors, we're going out with a bang...? This week we reviewed the 2004 cult classic teen movie Mean Girls starring Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Amanda Seyfried, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Tim Meadows, and more! It's directed by Mark Waters (wait, the guy who directed Freaky Friday???). Tune in this week to find out why tables...
Aug 25, 2022•1 hr 7 min•Season 3Ep. 13
We going back to school in the month of April, and this weeks episode is guaranteed to JACK YOU UP! Elijah Wood leads an unlikely group of high schoolers against a threat that is starting among the staff on campus. Only Scat, and multiple t-shirts and stop the inevitable assault of The Faculty. IMDB Synopsis: When Casey Connor, Herrington High School's newspaper photographer, witnesses the murder of a nurse and sees her alive again, he decides to investigate the bizarre happenings. Directed by R...
Aug 18, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Season 3Ep. 12
It's our sophomore week of Back to School month at the Draft House! This week the boys reviewed the 2009 Robin Williams dramedy World's Greatest Dad directed by a dude with perhaps the World's Greatest Name...Bobcat Goldthwait! In this episode we find out Jeff's experience with Chili Dogs (google it...or don't...), Mark's asphyxiation erotica knowledge, why flip phones were cool, and more! We also get commentary of perhaps the best opening scene to a film of all time. You be the judge. IMDB syno...
Aug 11, 2022•1 hr 4 min•Season 3Ep. 11
Mark and Jeff are going back to school in August, and nothing says school like the prom. Jamie Lee Curtis brings her slasher pedigree to this 1980 murder who done it. This movie features disco, mean girls, and Slick! Slick has a bad ass conversion van, and this brings back memories for Mark. IMDB Synopsis: At a high school senior prom, a masked killer stalks four teenagers who were responsible for the accidental death of a classmate six years previously. Directed by Paul Lynch Music this month f...
Aug 04, 2022•45 min•Season 3Ep. 10
Titular MCU actor month closes in rare form with Jojo Rabbit. Scarlett Johansson stars alongside Rebel Wilson, Sam Rockwell, and Stephen Merchant. Taika Waititi writes, directs, and stars. Mark says some things that *wink wink* we don't want anyone to take out of context and edit into something incriminating. It's also draft night and the boys are ready to go back to school. Be sure to wait for Marks final pick. Music this month is brought to you by the Orlando, Florida pop-punk band Magnolia Pa...
Jul 28, 2022•1 hr 6 min•Season 3Ep. 9
Welcome back, family! We're into the thick of July 2022 with "Titular Actors from the Marvel Cinematic Universe in Other Films" month and let me tell you...we watched a disaster BANGAR this week! We reviewed the 2012 true life disaster film The Impossible starring Obi-wan Kenobi, Peter Parker (the good one), and Ann Darrow (aka Naomi Watts who - with as many acting credits as she has - hasn't played any pop culture phenomenon characters). It's directed by J.A. Bayona. Tune in to find out why Jef...
Jul 21, 2022•50 min•Season 3Ep. 8
Titular Marvel Cinematic Universe actors month creeps into week two. Is Ghostbusters: Afterlife all just nostalgia or is there more to be had in this legacy sequel. The boys discuss if a kid based Ghostbusters movie is a good idea, if Zach Snyder should direct a Spider-man movie, and if Sony is a bad movie studio. Synopsis from IMDB : When a single mom and her two kids arrive in a small town, they begin to discover their connection to the original Ghostbusters and the secret legacy their grandfa...
Jul 14, 2022•56 min•Season 3Ep. 7
Land of the free, home of the MOVIE DRAFT HOUSE! We're starting off the month of July 2022 with a literal BANG as we let freedom ring with a new theme! This month we're reviewing films which star a titular Marvel Cinematic Universe actor (think Robert Downey Jr., from Iron Man...but we're not using his bum ass). This week we reviewed the 2020 Netflix original action flick EXTRACTION starring Chris Hemsworth (Thor, duh). It's directed by Sam Hargrave (used to be a stunt man, now he's making fanta...
Jul 07, 2022•58 min•Season 3Ep. 6
Tis the end of Van Damme month. Please don't cry. Jeff will do enough of that for everyone. But if you want more, look for 30 days of Van Damme in your podcast app. We close out June with Lionheart. Van Damme and where he hides produce, Paul Rudd and his self affirmations, and it's draft night! IMDB Synopsis: An Ex-French Soldier begins participating in underground street fights in order to make money for his brother's family. Music this month is brought to you by the hip-hop artist Norman Sann ...
Jun 30, 2022•54 min•Season 3Ep. 5
CHOO CHOO! You hear that, friends? That's the sound of the Van Damme train on the pod, chugging right along in our anniversary month! This week your boys reviewed the 1992 action "classic" Universal Soldier, directed by Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, The Patriot, MOONFALL!) starring JCVD (and his ass) & Dolph Lundgren. Tune in to find out why Jeff loves every Van Damme movie so damn much, why Mark hates "classics", a conversation about the best films to blow shit up, and more! IMDB synop...
Jun 23, 2022•1 hr 4 min•Season 3Ep. 4
Van Damme month is great right!? This week them Draft House boys look at 1994's TImecop. It's got the splits, tight pants, and a time machine that disappears when it goes to the past. Best movie so far this month? Also, Jeff is reviewing even more Van Damme movies over on 30 Days of Van Damme . What an idiot! IMDB Synopsis: Max Walker, an officer for a security agency that regulates time travel, must fend for his life against a shady politician who's intent on changing the past to control the fu...
Jun 16, 2022•54 min•Season 3Ep. 3
It's anniversary month and all month long we're celebrating with some VAN DAMMAGE! This week we reviewed the 2008 Jean Claude Van Damme film JCVD directed by Mabrouk El Mechri starring - none other than YOUR BOY - JCVD and some other people you've never heard of. Stick around while Jeff reminisces over JCVD, JCVD's ass, JCVD's chest (read: body), subtitle films, why dubbed films are the worst, and more! IMDB synopsis "Jean-Claude Van Damme gets involved in a bank robbery with hostages situation ...
Jun 09, 2022•46 min•Season 3Ep. 2
Happy Anniversary! We celebrate one year of Movie Draft House by enjoying Van Damme month. First up is Hard Target! Mark thinks everyone is already dead, Jeff tells you what makes a good mullet, and Mark wants to know how you would prefer to die. IMDB Synopsis: A woman hires a drifter as her guide through New Orleans in search of her missing father. In the process, they discover a deadly game of cat and mouse behind his disappearance. Directed by John Woo Staring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Lance Hen...
Jun 02, 2022•55 min•Season 3Ep. 1
Closing out "Movies Where Actors Star As Themselves" month here on the podcast, we reviewed the 1993 action classic The Last Action Hero directed by John McTiernan and starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Tune in to find out why going to the dollar theater as a kid was the best, why Die Hard With A Vengeance was the best Die Hard (sorry Die Harder), why the 90's were the best era for action films, and why kid actors suck....plus it's draft week! IMDB synopsis "With the help of a magic ticket, a young...
May 26, 2022•1 hr 5 min•Season 2Ep. 21
It's Actors Playing Themselves month. Can a movie starting Howard Stern as Howard Stern, featuring pornstars, hurtful stereotypes, and pig vomit, also have heart? Mark and Jeff discuss watching movies with there era they were made in mind, our history with talk radio, and a special moment that, after you listen, you will need to buy new earbuds and underwear. IMDB Synopsis: The autobiographical story of Howard Stern, the radio rebel who is now also a TV personality, an author and a movie star. D...
May 19, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Season 2Ep. 20
We're moving along in the month of May 2022 with the "Actors Playing Themselves" theme. This week we reviewed the 2010 faux-documentary I'm Still Here from 2010 starring Joaquin Phoenix as himself. We touch - hey! - on Hollywood penises, why Jeff loves this film so much but hates Casey Affleck, Jamie Kennedy in Hollywood (was he canceled?), and the legend Bob Saget! Be sure to subscribe/follow and throw us a 5 STAR REVIEW! You could be entered to win some Movie Draft House merch (not really tho)...
May 12, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Season 2Ep. 19
New month, new theme, new music. You know the deal by now. The theme this month is movies where actors play themselves. Why not go with a movie where nearly every actor is performing as themselves. This is the End shows us what a biblically accurate apocalypse will look like. Stand back Lahaye and Jenkins. Also a classic episode filled with digressions. Enjoying art by canceled performers, Shia Labeouf, and why Grown Ups is a modern classic (or pile of trash) IMDB Synopsis: Six Los Angeles celeb...
May 05, 2022•58 min•Season 2Ep. 18
As we've come to the end of "films that don't take place on Earth", we mercifully give you a film that, not only starts on Earth...but ends there too! This week we reviewed the "animated masterpiece" (Mark's words) WALL-E from 2008 starring Ben Burtt, Elissa Knight, and Jeff Garlin. The film is directed by Andrew Stanton. It's a Pixar film, so you already know! Listen in as we discuss what makes a good robot, what makes a good "animated masterpiece", why consumerism in animated films is bad...an...
Apr 28, 2022•55 min•Season 2Ep. 17
"Movies that don't take place on Earth" month just keeps going doesn't it? Fear not as the Schwartz is strong with this episode. On an unrelated note Mark is on the look out for a VHS player. Please reach out to him @iheardyouliked. IMDB Synopsis: A star-pilot for hire and his trusty sidekick must come to the rescue of a princess and save Planet Druidia from the clutches of the evil Spaceballs. Directed by Mel Brooks Starring Bill Pullman, John Candy, Rick Moranis, and Mel Brooks Music this mont...
Apr 21, 2022•1 hr 4 min•Season 2Ep. 16
Welcome back to "Space Movies That Don't Take Place On Earth" month! Hey...we did it! We finally (after only one single episode) found a movie that does not have one scene on our good old planet! Rejoice! This week we reviewed the 2009 indie film Moon directed by Duncan Jones and starring Same Rockwell and cancelled-Kevin-Spacey's-voice as a robot. Tune in to find out why we talk about a ton of ass, jizz in space, frankenstein-the-podcast, and what's coming next! IMDB synopsis "Astronaut Sam Bel...
Apr 14, 2022•44 min•Season 2Ep. 15
I want to tell you a story. A tale of a young screen writer who set out to craft his masterwork. After years of toiling, he had finished it. His greatest story was filled with social commentary on the overcrowding of prisons, and the inhuman way convicted criminals were treated. He hoped to shine light on how the government favored the rich and left the poor to fend for themselves. His name was Luc Besson. His script, Lockout. Little did he know that once Hollywood sunk its teeth into his work, ...
Apr 07, 2022•51 min•Season 2Ep. 14
We're closing out Musical Month with "all that jazz..." - sorry - as we review the 2002 hit film Chicago! Tune in to find out why Jeff hates musicals, we BOLO for Renee Zellweger, Wild Things makes an appearance....so does Kevin Bacon's penis. It's a doozy! We're also drafting for next month... Directed by Rob Marshall starring Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta Jones, Richard Gere, and John C. Reilly. IMDB synopsis "Two death-row murderesses develop a fierce rivalry while competing for publicity, ...
Mar 31, 2022•54 min•Season 2Ep. 13
A movie first. Musical theatre second. Then a movie based on the musical. It's week 4 of musical month and we hop in the time machine back to 1986 and watch Little Shop of Horrors staring Rick Moranis, Ellen Greene, and Steve Martin. There are also several cameos to boot. Finally, Homeward Bound makes us cry, but were grown ass men and we don't mind that you know that about us. IMDB Synopsis: A nerdy florist finds his chance for success and romance with the help of a giant man-eating plant who d...
Mar 24, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Season 2Ep. 12
On this week's episode the boys discuss the merits of musical theater, love, romance, John Williams v. Lin Manuel Miranda, Tom Brady and why Jeff is stuck in the past. We continue right along with Musicals month here on the podcast with the review of Tick, Tick...BOOM! from 2021, directed by (first-timer) Lin Manuel Miranda and starring Andrew Garfield, Alexandra Shipp, Robin de Jesus, and Vanessa Hudgens. Make sure, if you listening on Apple or Spotify, you're leaving us a 5 STAR review! Much a...
Mar 17, 2022•1 hr 11 min•Season 2Ep. 11
Musical month continues with the most unique movie on the list. A musical and a slasher film all in one movie. No way this can go wrong. What does homely mean? Is Mini Driver in this movie? Is School of Rock a musical? Find out this week. Directed by Jerome Sable Staring Minnie Driver , Meat Loaf, Allie MacDonald , and Douglas Smith. IMDB Synopsis: A snobby musical theater camp is terrorized by a blood-thirsty killer who hates musical theater. Music this month is brought to you by the funk duo T...
Mar 10, 2022•1 hr 10 min•Season 2Ep. 10
YALL...we're back in the month of March 2022 with a brand-new theme! This month we're reviewing musicals and we start the month off with a fucking BANG! Kicking it off with the 2017 hit The Greatest Showman starring Hugh Jackman, Zac Efron, Zendaya, Michelle Williams, Rebecca Ferguson, and Keala Settle. Join us as we absolutely gush over this one. We pile on The Clouds of Sils Maria and thank Jesus we made it Hugh Jackman's greatest performance. Make sure you give the video below a watch; you wo...
Mar 03, 2022•1 hr 13 min•Season 2Ep. 9
The final week of Make Me Like Them month concludes with the toughest test of all. Kristen Stewart. Jeff is up to the task of making Mark see Kristen Stewart in a new way. Thong, Bush, Tabs, Minnie Driver. Lets go! IMDB Synopsis: A film star comes face-to-face with an uncomfortable reflection of herself while starring in a revival of the play that launched her career. Directed by Olivier Assayas Starting Kristen Stewart, Juliette Binoche, and Chloë Grace Moretz Music this month is brought to you...
Feb 24, 2022•53 min•Season 2Ep. 8
Welcome back! This week, Mark and Jeff continue the month's "theme" of "change my mind on _______" where they each gave the other a list of actors that they typically don't enjoy and the other picks a film that may persuade their opinion otherwise. Confused yet? Us too! This week, Jeff gave Mark the actor Kevin Costner and Mark selected the 2020 revenge thriller Let Him Go. The film is directed by Thomas Bezucha and stars Kevin Costner, Diane Lane, Lesley Manville, and Jeffrey Donovan. In this e...
Feb 17, 2022•1 hr 20 min•Season 2Ep. 7
This month Jeff and Mark are trying to sway each other on actors who's work they do not enjoy. Now Jeff is tasked with changing Mark's mind on Andrew Garfield, so he selected Silence from 2016. They answer the burning questions like, "Can you swim away from a stick?" and "Is Adam Driver actually in this movie?" IMDB Synopsis: In the 17th century, two Portuguese Jesuit priests travel to Japan in an attempt to locate their mentor, who is rumored to have committed apostasy, and to propagate Catholi...
Feb 10, 2022•1 hr 20 min•Season 2Ep. 6
Welcome back to The Movie Draft House! We're back with a new theme for the month of February! Bear with us as we math equation this theme...Jeff and Mark gave each other five actors they cannot stand (from an acting perspective...we love everyone) and they were tasked with choosing two from the list and choosing two films that star those respective actors that may sway their perception on the actor. This week, Mark chose Owen Wilson (Jeff hates him, but loves his brother, Luke :shrugs:) from Jef...
Feb 03, 2022•1 hr 25 min•Season 2Ep. 5
