Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to The Mel Robbins Podcast. Are you afraid you'll never have enough money? Or worried that you'll never be able to buy a house or send your kids to college? Or maybe deep down, you're afraid that no matter how hard you work, you'll never get ahead. Or just staring at your bank account make you panic? Well, I know that fear because I've lived with it for a large part of my life.
For maxing out credit cards in my 20s, to spending my money on just the dumbest things to worrying that I would never be able to afford a house. And then, when I finally did, I almost lost it. For years, I had no idea how to get out of debt or how to get out of this spiral and fear around money. Work in myself to exhaustion. Multiple jobs. Feeling like I would never, ever, ever climb out of the hole that I was in.
If the fear of money is suffocating you, you're not alone. And if I can figure this out, so can you. I have changed my relationship with money and today, best selling author and leading financial expert, Farneesh Tarrabi is here to teach you how to face your fears and unlock the financial freedom that you deserve. This episode is your lifeline and guide to a completely different relationship with money.
Whether you're struggling with that or starting to build a little savings or you're already on the path to financial freedom. This is a conversation about money that you and everyone that you love needs to hear. Hey, it's Mel. I am so excited that you're here. It is always such an honor to spend time with you and to be together.
If you're brand new, welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast family. And thank you for choosing to listen to this podcast episode about money. And you know what that tells me? It tells me that you're the type of person that not only values money, but you value your time and you're interested in learning about ways that you can improve your life.
I just love that. And I'm so excited that you're here today because you and I are going to dive into something that so many of us struggle with, but we don't talk about. And that's financial fear. Now, I know firsthand what it feels like to be afraid when it comes to money. I know what it looks like to look at your bank account and not know how the heck you're going to make it to the next month.
I know that gut wrenching anxiety when you go to check your bank balance and you just hope that it won't be in the red. You may not know this about me, but there were days when my husband, Chris and I were so terrified that we wouldn't be able to pay the bills or worse that we were going to lose everything.
Just over a decade ago, we were on the brink of complete financial ruin. I was 41 years old. I still remember sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the pile of bills that have been sitting there for weeks wondering how the heck are we going to pay these things when we don't have any money in the bank.
I mean, at one point, my husband and I were 800,000 dollars in debt. Yep. You heard that right. 800,000 dollars. Now, I don't know about you, but when I thought about my life plan or I made a vision board, I never pasted up an image that said bankruptcy 800,000 dollars in debt. That's not exactly how I thought my life was going to turn out, but what ended up happening is that my husband had gone into the restaurant business and the first location was pretty successful.
So like complete idiots, we poured our entire life savings home equity line, maxed out credit cards into it and boom, the business started to fail. And we were drowning in debt with no way out of sight. It felt like no matter how hard we tried, we couldn't dig out of the hole that we had put ourselves in. And that fear, the fear of losing everything became my constant companion. Now, if you've ever had that fear, you know how crushing it is to not know how you're going to pay your bills.
And I want you to know something. You're not alone. That fear has shaped how I approach money today. And if you're in that place, you can learn how to tap into that fear and change how you relate to money to. I mean, just talking about it, I can still feel the pit in my stomach. There was a time where I felt completely powerless over our finances.
I mean, the debt was so freaking big. It felt like it felt impossible to get in front of it. I felt like I had lost control of my choices, my future, my family's well-being. And even after we started slowly, holy cow, it was painstaking. I'm not going to lie to you. It wasn't glamorous. It was grueling to try to chip away at the debt.
Even as we did, that financial failure, it loomed over us for years. You know, I think as a parent, the biggest fear that you have is failing your kids, especially when it comes to providing for them. I mean, there is a time when I couldn't even figure out how are we going to get groceries on the table this week? How are we going to pay for you to stay in town soccer?
I mean, let alone start putting money away into their college funds. I mean, that's kind of the funny thing about financial advice, right? When you can barely make the ends meet, how the hell are you going to put things away for the future? The idea of not being able to give my kids what they needed, paralyzing, and the guilt and the shame that my husband and I felt, I mean, it was just consuming.
It makes you question your worth as a mother, as a provider, as a human being, as a parent. And so, let me be real with you. There is shame around money. And for years, I was embarrassed to talk about our financial situation. I didn't want anyone to know how bad it was. But here's the truth. I have learned over the last 14 years that financial fear is universal.
And it doesn't have to control your life. It doesn't have to drive your decisions. In fact, if you learn how to face it head on, if you lean into that fear and you unpack, where is this coming from? You can flip it from something that paralyzes you into this force that motivates you to do what you need to do to figure things out. And you are more than capable of that. And that's what we're going to do today. We're going to talk directly about where your fear around money is coming from.
And that fear is there. I don't care how successful or how in debt you are. Everybody has a fear around money. And in order to help us tackle this, I've called in Farnous Terabbi, who's one of the most trusted voices in personal finance.
To help us dive even deeper into this topic, she spent over two decades guiding people through their financial fears, helping them not only confront the anxiety around money, but use it. That's the cool part. We're going to use it as fuel to create the financial future you deserve.
Now, Farnous is going to help you unpack why so many of us, especially women, feel guilty or afraid about being financial ambitious. And more importantly, she's going to show you how to start taking control of your money, whether you have any or not, your mindset and your future. And by the end of this episode, I promise you, you'll see your financial fear in an entirely new light, because you're going to know how to leverage it.
Farnous Terabbi, I'm so excited that you're here. I cannot wait to talk about fear of money with you. Thank you so much, Mel. Well, this is an extremely timely and important topic, because there's uncertainty all around us. And there's also opportunity. But what I'm present to, at least with people in my life, is a lot of fear around money.
Fear that I'm never going to make enough fear that I'll never be able to afford the kind of neighborhood that I grew up in, even though it wasn't the world's fanciest neighborhood fear that I'm never going to be successful fear that I'm going to run out of money. Fear that I'll never make enough fear that I'll never get out of debt fear that I won't have enough retirement savings.
Fear that something bad is going to happen and I'm going to lose it all fear that I'm going to make the wrong investment in the stock market. And that's going to be a dumb pick. Fear that I missed out on buying Amazon way back when and now it's that Navidia AI stock that I missed out on fear that I don't understand what's happening fear that I've spent too much fear that I'm an idiot like it's just nothing but fear.
And so I'm not only excited for you to unpack fear, but to normalize that this is a very common experience and that there are specific things that you can do to take control and understand these fears and actually address them. Yeah, I've been a financial advisor for 20 years and people like what you're writing about fear. Yes, because it is the emotional underpinning of so many of our financial questions when people come to me and they say, should I buy a house?
Should I get married, divorce, have kids, take the job, quit the job, start the business, file for bankruptcy. There is advice there to be given that is tactical, but to really get to the root of the solution you have to go deeper and usually address the fear. I want to first start by saying that fear can be a tool in your life. Why are we all wrapped up in this idea of being fearless? I am a daughter of immigrants. I am a daughter of the 1980s and Worcester, Massachusetts. I grew up terrified.
I say things worked out. It wasn't because I abandoned fear. It was because I got to a point in my 20s when I was trying to be fearless and I would get into a lot of dead ends and I would make a mess of things. But I said, you know what, this fear is not going away. I am just that person that has this fervor all the time and I thought, let me look at it and try to understand what it's trying to tell me.
Perhaps fear is here with a message. Can we start by having you just talk to the person listening and tell them what they could experience in their life that's different if they take everything to heart that you're about to teach us today?
Imagine a world where you can make your own financial choices for yourself by yourself. You have autonomy, you have agency, you can choose for yourself, choose to stay in a job, not stay in a job, stay in a marriage, not stay in a marriage. Start a business, not do it. And I'm not saying those things are easy, but with money and with financial independence comes so much confidence. You can sleep better at night and you know the world's a scary place sometimes with money helps.
When you experience fear in your financial life, which for me sometimes is a lot of the time, I think that if you are able to apply some of these learnings, you will not experience fear as paralysis.
You will experience it as opportunity to know that when fear arrives in your financial life, it doesn't want to create stasis or keep you stuck. It wants you to find a solution to help you to engage with your fear is to engage with your values, to engage with what's important to you and what you want to protect. And you have to be clear on these things before you make any financial decision. So when you're good with fear, you can be good with money.
So I take it, it's normal to be afraid of my I'm yes, I mean, money is a limited resource. Okay, money inherently creates scarcity in our minds and that is terrifying because you make a financial decision.
You can't rewind and now you're with less money than when you started potentially, there is risk inherent to making certain financial decisions and money is personal. So when we make a financial choice or decision or we think about something financially related, we can't help but make it really personal and think about, well, what does it say about me?
If I do this thing, how is it going to reflect on me? All the list of fears that you mentioned make a hundred percent sense to me because as humans, we want to protect our resources, right? And money, I mean, talk about an important resource. Well, and a lot of times I didn't have it. So I was also afraid of never having that resource. How do you want someone to think about money? What is money?
It's a tool. It is an important tool. It's a tool that's going to give you access. It's going to help you create a bridge in your life when you need it most. I got into this space as a financial author, as a journalist, not because I had all the credentials.
Because when I was young, I saw my parents argue about money constantly. I saw how it was weaponized. Listen, money can be a tool for good and it can be a tool for evil, for bad. And in my parents marriage, I saw as a result of my father being the breadwinner and the fact that he was a man and he associated his manhood with financial dominance.
My mother also had her own issues in terms of not speaking the language. So she wasn't able to work right away in America as immigrants. They came from Iran. And I watched them fight around money. And on the one hand, I was grateful. I grew up in a household where we did talk about money freely as Middle Easterners that culturally it's not as taboo.
But often the topics around money were discussed with I say with fist banging on kitchen tables. It was a lot of crying. It was a lot of silent treatment. It was and I quickly saw, I mean, this was it. This is my origin story. I saw how, especially as a woman, if you don't have access to your own money and feel empowered around your finances, then someone will make the decisions for you.
And they're not always decisions that you want. They're not always in your best interest. So money, you need it. It's not a nice to have. Everybody needs money, particularly women. We don't think that it's our domain. Because we've been told it's not it's he'll take care of it.
I've been to restaurants where they give me a menu and my menu doesn't have any prices on it. This is on America, by the way, this is when my husband I went on a trip to the Caribbean. And I go, what's going on? It's a prefix. Like, did we miss the sign in the front? This is going to be like a, you know, and the waitress will say, no, no, my damn you should not have to worry about such things.
And I said it like it can't escape me. This follows me everywhere. And I make more in my relationship. So I had to have a good laugh about that. Because it's like, really, I don't have to worry about money. It's all I do. I think that this is important for women to believe that it is not just a nice to have that being financially dependent is your right.
I'm glad that you're saying that. And here's why I look at money like a tool, but I believe money is power. And I say that knowing it's very loaded word.
And the reason why I say it's power is because when you have your own money and you are able to make your own money and you're able to choose what you do with your money without feeling a consequence or that you're going to get in trouble or that you got to hide the packages, you have power, you have power over yourself, you have power over your decisions. And the other reason why I use the word power is because I think about the way in which society has glamorized success and glamorized money.
And certainly makes all of us believe that when you have more money, you have power. And in our lived experiences, we know when we see people that have a lot of money that they do have access to things that maybe you don't have access to because they can afford it. But I think a lot about that moment when you're at a restaurant and the bill comes. And who's going to pay? And the person that reaches forward and grabs it if that happens versus we're going to split the bill.
But even the ability to split the bill is power. Yes, I agree with you, money is power. The complexity arrives when you're in a relationship and you think that my power means I have power over you as opposed to I have power to heal, to support. There's a difference. There's a difference in how you wield that power. And I want every woman to have power and to use money as a tool for power.
And men too. But when you're in the context of a relationship, it's about how to sort of dance with money, you know, and not be sizing each other up based on what you earn. This happens all the time. Imagine a world where you can roam freely and choose for yourself by yourself. You can afford yourself options. You can say, you know what, this doesn't suit me anymore. And I can leave. And I know there are some risks and I know there's uncertainty down the road.
But I have money. I have not just money, but I have financial autonomy. This is what being truly wealthy is. It's being able to understand that the world is scary place. Yes, money does not solve all of the problems, but money does give us a runway. It gives us resources. It gives us confidence sometimes to believe we can do something and arrive on the other side safe.
And as women in this world, I know this personally, I've seen it. I've witnessed it. I've experienced it. Money helps. Having your own money. Someone else's money is not your money. Your parents money is not your money. Your partner's money. To an extent, you share in that. But do you have your own bank account? Do you have your own credit card? Do you have your own source of income potentially?
I think that if you are willing to prioritize your financial well-being and say that not only do I need this, but I deserve this. It is my birthright. Your world opens up. Who doesn't want options? I just love the way that you talk about money. I know that we're only just scratching the surface. There's so much more that we're going to be covering, but I need to take a quick pause so we can hear a word from our amazing sponsors.
As you're listening to our sponsors, share this with someone in your life who needs to hear it, which is basically all the people that you love and don't go anywhere because we're going to be waiting for you after a short break and you're going to love where this conversation is going next. Stay with us.
Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins. And today you and I are digging deep into the topic of money with financial expert, Farnoosh Turobi. So Farnoosh, what are the top five fears that people have about money?
Just five. So I would say that the biggest fear is the fear of not having enough, which has real. There's a realness to that. I mean, look outside, things are expensive. And so there could be a real actual religion reason for that fear. Then there's the fear of even if you have enough losing it all, right? You're just one job loss away from losing your house, you're one bad investment away from not being able to retire.
There is a fear of wanting too much and this affects a lot of women, the admitting of I want to be rich, I want to be financially successful. That's a scary thing to come to terms without loud in front of others because you're worried about what that might say about you and your priorities.
The expectation is not that you're going to be that woman right the expectation is maybe that you're going to prioritize caregiving, you're going to prioritize your family, you're going to prioritize other things, not money. So we fear we fear that we fear as parents sometimes and caregivers raising our kids in such a way where the cycles get repeated or maybe we grew up with a fear of scarcity and now we're bestowing that on our children or on the other end.
Giving them too much and then they don't appreciate it. So again, it's sort of what we all have, which is that lack of financial literacy, I think it's like 60% of Americans didn't speak a word of money growing up and as adults that becomes a fear of its own that not only you're not going to have the sort of fluency and confidence around money, but that your kids who are watching you are also not going to be able to be strong in that department.
And then I think for those who are perhaps the boomers, my parents, this fear of dying without a real financial legacy, you know, it's that's important culturally to Americans is to be able to die with the will to pass on some assets to the next generation.
And again, I think part of it is like this fear of thinking about death and not doing the proper estate planning exacerbates that. So those are the five things and I tried to pick the ones that kind of go through the the generations. There was a recent study that actually found that Jen millennials Jen why they're the ones who are most afraid of running out of money.
Wow, what's interesting about hearing those five top fears is that if you put it in the context of the issues that money can create with couples and in your relationships that if you are not able to talk about money.
If you don't feel equal in your relationship when it comes to money and these fears are lingering underneath the surface, I can see how if you're fighting around what are we buying the kids in terms of the sneakers and we're going to spend this and it becomes these surface level arguments.
Yeah, one of you might be having a budget conversation the other one might be having a concern or a fear about kids who grow up spoiled and if you don't understand your own relationship to money and what you value it's going to keep coming up in all of the conflict that you have with your partner as you argue around the things that you're buying or what's happening and I can see how this creates a big divide.
Oh, yeah, I mean, that's why I often say before you get into the nitty gritty of your finances, you have to talk about how you grew up with money. That is a it's so foundational to really understanding your partner and so when you when you see them when you witness them being tight with money or over spending or not wanting to talk about money and not wanting to have that confrontation, you don't go what's wrong with you.
You go, oh my god, I understand where this is coming from. So let's unpack that, you know, sometimes the exercise I often say is when you're experiencing a financial fear of any sort is to trace it to its root. Where did this fear come from? Is it even my fear? It may just be my parents fear from the 1960s from the 1970s latched on to me because yeah growing up there was scarcity and that was a scary time.
But that was also time when I was nine and I didn't have agency and I didn't have control over what was happening with the money and so my parents fears became my fears I inherited that and I never let go of it and maybe even just maybe that helped me for a while as I got older having that fear of losing money made me a super saver.
But now I still have this anxiety that I'm going to lose it all but I have savings I haven't a job I am and yet so this is when the fears are longer serving you and you need to kind of go down memory lane find it sores and make the adult decision that
this ends here this ends with me right now and I'm going to rest this fear I'm going to thank it maybe for how far it's taking me but now it's not serving me looking at the facts of your life that you do have I remember this woman brought this woman wrote to me she said
I'm in my 50s single mom I've helped my boys get through college I grew up in scarcity and poverty and it actually that fear led me to be very financially in charge of my life I started a business I bought my house I single handly raised my boys and I just fear like I'm going to lose it I'm going to
I'm a one bad decision away I don't trust that this is going to endure and so what I said to her was first let's like let's trace this wave everything I just told you this is your mother's fear this isn't you and this is this is real I mean not to say that this is a fabrication it happened you were once this young girl experiencing lack
now is that true you know look at look at everything that you have take inventory of your life you have done amazing things with your money you have not exhibited a pattern of making bad decisions with your money and so sometimes you need that wake up call you need
someone else to tell you here are all the things that you've done or you need to take a really honest look at all of your accomplishments I say is taking inventory of all of your accomplishments and all of your assets that no one can take away from you like yeah maybe the market will tumble and you have no control over that
investments do dip and that may mean that you don't be able to retire you know at 65 as you were planning but does that mean you've lost it all and you'll never regain it because you are who you are at the end of the day you've gotten to where you are for a reason
and that is not something that can be taken away from you when people get laid off and they're afraid of never getting a job again I say okay that that's scary you don't have a title you don't have an income you source a lot of your sense of self worth and identity and that job it's gone now you're worried about uncertainty but here's the thing when you fear financial uncertainty which is what that is what is your body want you know it wants
certain ice cream it wants ice cream yeah I look at the makers as a woman who has been laid off twice the first time it happened a lot of Bridget Jones diary a lot of Chinese dumplings and you should allow yourself a pity party like that is to be allowed
but I say you lost the job you lost the income but what did you not lose what are the things that you are still taking with you and that is your experience your network your accomplishments even the failures are assets you learn the lot and that is the stuff that you're going to be able to take into your next into your next move
so we lose sight we think that our accomplishments are measure of value is just in these sort of tangible things you know our income our title our job but it's also in the life that we have lived all of these experiences in the people and the network and the health that we have this is all these are all assets and so when you're in that terrifying moment of feeling lost and life is uncertain the fear is telling you hold on to what is certain what is certain
and I think you will find the courage and the motivation that you are lacking you know furnished there are so many people I want to share this conversation with top of my list my daughter's and Kendall and so I'm sure there's somebody that you want to share this with to we're going to take a short pause so we can hear a word from our amazing sponsors share this with somebody who you know will benefit from this conversation and since we all have a relationship with money that means everybody
and don't go anywhere because we got more to cover with the amazing for news to Robbie and your relationship with money when we return stay with me and I'm going to talk about your friend Mel Robbins and today you and I are learning from leading financial expert for news to Robbie so for news what about the person who's afraid they are never going to buy a house
this is a good one because my gosh what is more American pie what is more American dream than buying a house right and I would say to that person let's first unpack why you're afraid you'll never be a homeowner
what is it about are you worried you're not going to expensive we ask for more than that if you don't buy the house you won't be wealthy you won't build wealth you want have security for your family you won't be able to be considered a financial adult because we associate so many of those things with the act of a home purchase in our culture
so I think that also the there is also a fear of like if I don't do this grand thing with my money if I don't buy a home am I really financially mature am I really going to be doing the right things with my money rent oh I just heard that that's money down the drain so I would look at that I would examine that and go why do you think this who told you this we grew up a lot of us with that sentiment you know it's making me realize that underneath every financial
fear I'm afraid I won't be able to pay for my kids college is a deeper value and I would imagine that it makes you feel like maybe I'm not a good parent or maybe that's what I believe a parent should do what about the fear I won't be able to retire
that's a real fear that's a real fear because the cost of living there's so many unknowns in retirement the cost of health care and we're living longer so we need more money to support us in retirement so if that is your fear then I want you to imagine go to the dark place your 75 years old you still have to work you don't want to be working and you're tired
and you don't get to see your grandkids you don't get to see your friends are you motivated to do something after hearing this I hope so I would this is what I'm trying to condition you to be inspired to do don't just sit in the what if go to the place where things have really fall in a part for you because you are scared now
but I'm going to tell you there's a lot scarier things for you waiting for you if you don't do something today and that's what we have to sort of hold fear and balance you know what you fear today
versus the scary place you might be in five years from now ten years from now because you didn't act healthily with this fear you didn't use this fear to motivate you to take some steps that could help you make some progress I totally get it you're basically flipping the fear from something that paralyzes you and keeps you feeling insecure to using it to activate this motivation to do something now yes and to look at it now and see that you can figure it out now so it's not a fear at all
I mean Mel you just that story you gave about the restaurant going out of business and you just you were afraid you and what did you do you went out and made a ton of money and you worked and worked and worked and it wasn't sustainable but and it wasn't a ton of money in the beginning let's be honest it was like let's get some groceries on the table let's make sure the lights don't get turned off how can you stop fearing money
so I don't really like to talk about how to stop fearing it want to reframe is how to have a conversation with your fear so we tend to go through life reacting to fear often in knee jerk ways we freeze we fly and we what's the third one freeze by fly fight I want to offer a
fourth option which is figure it out that's my fourth f and by figuring it out I mean like realizing that maybe fear shut up for a reason and I'm not talking about like fear of heights or fear of you know I'm talking about like when you're at the crossroads of life and you have to make a financial decision the stakes are high if you're afraid there's probably a reason because you're worried about risk you're worried about losing money this is not a small thing and so in that moment I offer
queries in the book here things that you can ask yourself that can help you create some sense of a road map for where to go next like fear does not want you to keep you stuck Diane Fossy she studied apes she was a primatologist and she essentially taught us all that fear has an evolutionary purpose it's here to protect us you know she wandered around with apes in
one experiment and realize that inevitably there was always a subset of apes they're always on a periphery they're always like sleeping with one eye open and she wondered what if we remove them from the community and when that happened the community was obliterated and she realized that in culture and society there's always there's always sort of like a border of people who are always like sort of on the
French were that were that I'm on the tower suit in far seas like the fearful one and I'm proud of that because for me it's how I protected myself and as we've evolved as humans you know maybe we're no longer in primitive era but we have evolved and fear has evolved with us to be there for us when we're trying to make decisions that are more self aligned that can we can feel like protected doing
something that is scary so honor it and how you honor it we've talked about it already so a little bit is like sort of trace it to its root figure out how it got here what's the story fear of losing money could this have been sourced from when you were younger and you saw your parents go bankrupt you saw your father lose his job or your mother lose her job and now you have carried that fear
into your adult life and you don't believe that you can have it any better sometimes that's important because it's a wake up call I would also say if you're somebody who's afraid of losing it all imagine losing it all like go to the dark place because what we have found is that the fear of losing money it takes place that fear sort of bubbles up in the same place as
physical pain in the brain and what do we want more than anything when we experience physical pain we want a solution we want to fix it so I often say when people are like sort of just living in this cloud of fear like what if what if what if it's like no let's actually make it really urgent like what if tomorrow you did lose your job what if tomorrow you did make a bad investment and wiped out your savings go there
and imagine what you would do in that moment who would you call what would you stop spending your money on where would you allocate the resources and rather than making a hypothetical this is your road map this is your plan of action this is what you need to do today how I see so in the hypothetical you force yourself to face it and you ask yourself while you're secure right now what would I actually do and that proves to you that you could figure it out you could figure it out
we often live in this like cloud of fear you know I say people often worry about what if and that's normal you know what if this happens what if that happens but you're not serving yourself when you just are going you're chasing your tail so stop and this may seem really mean to say but like I want you to go to the edge I want you to imagine like what would actually happen if you did if that what if became what now like it's happening
it's happening today bring it to your doorstep and how would it play out you're not going to just sit there you're going to do something you're going to be mobilized and now you know what you have to do
so for the person who's afraid of losing their job it's amazing what happens so many chips fall into place like I'm going to go figure out what my state's unemployment insurance is I want to go look at my budget actually because maybe I would have enough to cover me for a couple of months while I'm getting back on my feet
what are your parting words on this topic of fear money it's normal when you fear money you're a human being there is cause for this but what if I told you that fear can be your friend that when fear shows up it's an opportunity to listen to it to you know when you're back at when we are able to face our fears I think we're only getting closer to who we really are what we value what we want to protect and what a way to walk through life
and accept that and appreciate that especially the context of your financial life fear in your financial life it will make you more motivated and more excited to do the sort of nitty gritty with your money which is you know the saving and the investing and all that but now you really have this desire
because what fear has taught you is that you have a lot to protect you've a lot to honor in your life it's my offer as so many people have come to me over the years asking me about how to do this how to do that and I go wait a minute yes we're going to get to how to but let's talk about the fear that you're feeling and why it's there and what it might be educating you on amazing my biggest takeaway is fear is the biggest obstacle all the stuff that you need to do your capable of you address the fear
and you'll actually do what you need to do and address it don't be fearless there's a great book out Caroline doon or wrote a book and in it she said if you if you protest if you are proud of the fact that you are fearless I'm sorry to tell you but you're a psychopath because what does that mean it means that you're not you're not afraid of risk and consequence you're not worried about things backfiring
you're just walking through life believing that you're invincible I can't afford that I can't personally I can't afford that I need to be constantly thinking about how this is going to impact my life my kids lives and that's that's okay I don't want to lose that fear I want to be able to have a relationship with that kind of fear Barneuch thank you thank you thank you for being here in arousas studios and helping us with this really important topic and honestly life changing skill
Oh thank you Mal, it's my honor thanks for bringing back to my roots this is kind of near where I'm from so I feel like it's such a privilege to be here what I've loved about everything that we've talked about today is the fact that money in your relationship to it is a critical part of your life and you deserve to have a powerful relationship with money
and I don't want you to ever shy away from that in fact I want you to embrace it and in case no one else tells you I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to change your life and what you learn today will 100% help you create a better financial life already I'll be waiting for you in the next episode Barneuch Trabi Mel Robbins holy cow you're here this is happening pinch me okay great great okay great thank you for that
okay this is Kevin you ready for me to read this now or do you need different file oh I understand now okay I understand that now okay gotcha gotcha gotcha oh my gosh such a such a proud wow you know when I first learned I was going to be under a podcast I was like I'm not a scientist I'm not a doctor I know but you're I was very intimidated by just knowing the caliber of guests you bring on and I was hoping to you know a rise to the occasion I hope I did
well you did thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you Kevin thank you team who's listening thank you everybody for hanging with us thank you for showing up oh and one more thing and no this is not a blooper this is the legal language you know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you this podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes I'm just your friend I am not a licensed therapist and this
podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician professional coach psychotherapist or other qualified professional got it good I'll see you in the next episode stitcher