In this special Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have fun with a narcissistic caller who is upset that he isn’t dating women who he thinks are on his level. This is a case study of problems that come with being over-confident or arrogant. They give a funny reality check and explain why women are better at evaluating your mate value than you are, how high quality women can be very picky, and why it’s important to be honest with her about what you want. If you have...
May 06, 2015•30 min
This simple answer is to just be honest and tell her because it is NOT a red flag to never have had a serious girlfriend at 25. In this Q&A, Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller explain why this is not a big deal and how to be honest and tell her this effectively, including conversation scripts if you are totally lost. Also see past podcasts we’ve done on big changes in mate value former fat guy , Impostor Syndrome , and what to do if you have little experience ....
May 05, 2015•13 min
In this episode of Helping Joe, Tucker, Charlie, and Nils help Joe figure out what to do after he blows it with another great girl. They explain how to improve his texting and communication to avoid this problem in the future. And while Joe continues to cripple himself by not opening up, he made big improvements by being a little bit vulnerable and connecting with a cute, smart girl he met on Tinder. They explain what Joe did right and why this was a fantastic date.
May 04, 2015•1 hr 13 min
In this episode of Bad Advice, Tucker explains how being unavailable, distant, or hard to get to signal that you are high status or high mate value is in general a terrible way to attract women. It works for a certain small % of women, but is a huge turn off to most. This episode is sponsored by Dude Wipes , the first flushable wipes for men. Check them out on Amazon for free shipping and sales this month....
Apr 30, 2015•11 min
If a guy with cerebral palsy is going out and dating women, you have no excuse to not get out there yourself. In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Dr. Geoffrey Miller give many pieces of advice for meeting and dating fit, athletic women if you have a physical disability. One important point to think about is that overcoming a disability is a huge positive signal of effectiveness to women. This episode is sponsored by Dude Wipes , the first flushable wipes for men. Check them out...
Apr 29, 2015•12 min
We’ve done past episodes on mating markets in the past. This caller is from Charlotte, and in this Q&A episode Tucker, Nils and Dr. Miller dive into why Charlotte is a tough mating market for men. They explain how census data can be misleading (ex. Chicago), what Operational Sex Ratio is and why it matters, and how to test the market to see if the problem is you or your mating market. This episode is sponsored by Dude Wipes , the first flushable wipes for men. Check them out on Amazon for fr...
Apr 28, 2015•22 min
In this episode of Helping Joe, Joe finishes Level 1 of improv but has insecurities about moving on to Level 2 with his class. Tucker Max and Charlie Hoehn help him put his progress in perspective and convince him to keep going. They refer back to how meditation and journaling can change ineffective thought patterns and explain how with more demonstrated performance, real evidence of increasing success, Joe will build real confidence in his social life and with women. They also dive a little dee...
Apr 27, 2015•1 hr 10 min
In this episode of Bad Advice From The Internet, Tucker breaks down the idea of "peacocking" or "dressing like you're somebody" and related ideas about male fashion and style. Very few women decide to date or sleep with you based on what you are wearing. If you dress in a way that isn’t who you are to attract women, you are sending dishonest signals (lying). Women will inevitably figure out who you are (from of everything else about you) and lose any good first impression they had of you. Your f...
Apr 23, 2015•20 min
This is a great question for Tucker to answer because he has been through this exact issue multiple times in his life. In this Q&A episode, he, Dr. Miller, and Nils, explain how if you are still dating someone because you think you should , that’s a bad sign. Be honest with yourself about what you want in life and in a woman. If you’re not ready for a long-term relationship, the perfect woman is still wrong for you. This episode is sponsored by Dude Wipes , the first flushable wipes for men....
Apr 22, 2015•13 min
This is a bullshit question that we get a lot from guys: “Is it okay for me to feel [insert any desire or subjective emotion]?” In this Q&A, Tucker Max, Dr. Geoffrey Miller, and Nils Parker talk about how whatever you feel and want is cool. Your emotions, what you are feeling, are always valid. If your girlfriend changes, you are not obligated to be attracted to her and those changes. In this case, his girlfriend is trying to shame him into ignoring what he feels. This is ridiculous for many...
Apr 21, 2015•15 min
In this episode of Helping Joe, Tucker and Nils finally get a look at Joe’s deeper emotions after he reads Daring Greatly . They talk about how the book affected him, what he learned, and how to apply the lessons to his dating life. Connecting with friends and girlfriends is essential to living a happy, fulfilling life. Making real connections requires vulnerability, opening yourself up, letting people in, and showing them who you really are. Romantic chemistry is exposing one element (you) to a...
Apr 20, 2015•1 hr 8 min
In this episode of Bad Advice From The Internet, Tucker explains how pushing your honesty onto other people who are not directly asking for it signals a lack of social intelligence, which makes you less likable and less attractive to women. For example, if a woman asks, “What are you looking for?” and you blurt out, “I just want to have sex and not date you,” it’s an immediate turnoff for her. Women look for physical safety, social safety, and emotional safety before dating or sleeping with you....
Apr 16, 2015•16 min
This is a big question that could take 5 hours to answer. In this short Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Dr. Geoffrey Miller broadly explain love, why we evolved to feel love, what love is not, and how to think about love and the relationship you are in. Watch out for desire, lust, obsession, and analyzing resume traits, which are all NOT love. Also, love takes time to figure out. Tucker developed slowly and didn't figure it out until he was 34. This episode is sponsored by Dude Wip...
Apr 15, 2015•18 min
This call is from a man who was sexually shamed most of his life and is transitioning out of that. In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Dr. Geoffrey Miller, and Nils Parker knock down one big assumption with his question by advising him to ask, "What do I want?" Not "What should I do?" Explore who you are to figure out what you really want (your mating goal). They give many suggestions for how to do this. This episode is sponsored by Dude Wipes , the first flushable wipes for men. Check them out...
Apr 14, 2015•24 min
This week of Helping Joe is a continuation of Episode 10 where Joe talks about recent dates with girls from episodes 7, 8, and 9 and new girls he is seeing. Tucker and Charlie break down his irrational, ineffective thoughts and how to replace them to get better with women. They also get into advice on texting, going back to her place, being honest and funny about your insecurities, and why you don’t need to have all your shit together before a woman will be very into you. This episode is sponsor...
Apr 13, 2015•1 hr
Tucker Max explains how this is some of the worst advice that women give men. Being too open with your feelings too early in the relationship signals desperation and low mate value to a woman. Only crazy people over-share with those they first meet or don't know well. When telling her how you feel, it's best to emotionally follow her lead in disclosing more. This happens piece by piece. She gives a little and you give a little, escalating vulnerability and honesty until there is a high level of ...
Apr 09, 2015•16 min
This caller has the mating equivalent of a white people problem . He has a great girlfriend but doesn't believe he's good enough. Many guys have this issue of Imposter Syndrome when they are improving in dating and other areas of life. Tucker and Charlie have talked about this on Helping Joe when he loses confidence on dates. In this Q&A episode, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller explain exactly what Imposter Syndrome is, why it's common with rapid improvement, and how it can be ridiculously arro...
Apr 08, 2015•19 min
After making a few jokes and explaining the obvious, which is to learn skills and get a better job, Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Dr. Geoffrey Miller talk about how to be more attractive while poor. Getting in shape with body weight only exercises ( Convict Conditioning ), wearing simple & clean clothes that fit you, and having a great attitude (fun, kind, smart, or interesting), will put you in the top 25% of men out there. They also give some great free date ideas. This episode is sponsored...
Apr 07, 2015•29 min
In this episode of Helping Joe, Tucker Max and Charlie Hoehn catch up with Joe on all the dates he has had in the last 2 weeks. They recognize and celebrate these wins to reinforce that Joe is on the right path and making progress. A huge part of building confidence is realizing the strides you’ve made since starting and internalizing positive feedback, from both the women you are dating and your friends (or coaches here). Later they get into mistakes Joe made on these dates, including his funny...
Apr 06, 2015•1 hr 1 min
In this episode of Helping Joe, Joe went speed dating for the first time and Tucker Max and Nils Parker break down his mini-dates. They give Joe much needed fashion advice (Joe makes big mistakes here. Jokes follow.), feedback on his first date (and first meeting) conversations, and more ways to reframe his dating mindset and goal so that he has more fun and better results. They revisit Joe’s critical issues like cursing under his breath, not internalizing positive feedback, and changing his ine...
Apr 02, 2015•1 hr 13 min
In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Dr. Geoff Miller explain the internal worries (How am I doing? Does she like me?) that many guys have on first dates and how to replace those thoughts with more effective ones (How can I have fun? What is interesting about her?). Also, check out the psychology of choking in our Choke Book Notes or buy the book here. Also, Tucker, Charlie, and Nils have spent the last two months answering this question on the Helping Joe series. It’s one of Jo...
Apr 01, 2015•19 min
In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Dr. Geoff Miller explain that alcohol lowers your inhibitions and the worries about what others will think or how you will look, which all get in the way of being funny. There may be a deeper problem with your social skills, confidence, or shame. These can all be fixed (check out our other podcasts for more in depth advice).
Mar 31, 2015•16 min
This episode is a continuation of Episode 7 . Tucker Max, Charlie Hoehn, and Joe try to regroup and talk about Joe's other dates that he went on, but they get right back to emotional issues that caused him to completely lose confidence in himself on a different date. The reason for this is absolutely ridiculous. You will laugh when listening to it. Joe thought this girl was out of his league and rejected himself even though she was into him. There are a lot of lessons to be learned from his mist...
Mar 30, 2015•37 min
This Bad Advice is from old people who are angry about new technology like texting. 20 years ago when calling was the default, this advice would have been valid. Now the default is texting, especially for young people. The data shows that many women under 30 think calling is an intrusion of privacy and inconvenient or rude. To them, you are not more manly, courageous, or gentlmanly. You are just weird. This is why understanding social groups is so important. Everything you do is contingent on th...
Mar 26, 2015•8 min
In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Dr. Geoff Miller break apart this question, the details he gave, and the assumptions he is making. They explain how if you see a guy who is to be subservient to or "pussy whipped" by his girlfriend or wife, you are only looking at a small part of their relationship and making assumptions based just on that. It's unlikely that you know their entire relationship history and all the dynamics going on. Sometimes, a woman is just awful or the man ...
Mar 25, 2015•25 min
If you live in a very racist state (Arizona) or city (Boston) move! In this Q&A Tucker Max, Dr. Geoff Miller, and Nils Parker explain how sometimes the problem is 100% your mating market and not you. If that’s the case and you want to be successful with women, you need to leave.
Mar 24, 2015•17 min
In week 7 of Helping Joe, Tucker Max and Charlie Hoehn dig into Joe's mess of emotional issues after he has a great date, but ruins it by blowing off the girl he liked. What starts off as a small celebration with good tactical advice gets heated (Tucker gets angry) after they learn what Joe texted after. They rummage through some of his emotional baggage and explain how his fears are crippling his mating opportunities. As Tucker put it, “Joe is a wantrepreneur with women."
Mar 23, 2015•1 hr 18 min
This is the idea that the right way to get over a bad breakup, when you feel like shit, is to just sleep with other girls. It's actually only half wrong. For more long-term relationships, where you loved your girlfriend and were together for a while, it's awful advice. In this episode, we talk about how sleeping around in response to a sad breakup pushes off pain that you need to feel. These emotions are inevitable. It’s better to address them upfront. We talk about how to do this and how humans...
Mar 20, 2015•15 min
Both men and woman can have difficulty realizing they are more attractive after a big positive change like losing weight. In this Q&A Tucker Max, Dr. Geoff Miller, and Nils Parker talk about how to accept and believe you that you are more attractive by getting feedback from women, starting small with exposure therapy, and testing your mating market.
Mar 19, 2015•18 min
In modern society, there is little threat of violence day-to-day. So how you do you display the Defender part of the Tender Defender model to women? In this Q&A Tucker Max, Dr. Geoff Miller, and Nils Parker break down a big assumption of being a Defender (It’s not all about violence.) and explain the many ways you can be a Defender without fighting. A better way to look at it is being an Effective Provider can solve her problems.
Mar 17, 2015•15 min
