In week 6 of Helping Joe, Charlie brings in one of his female friends to show Joe first hand what she experiences when dating online or through Tinder. She also gives him feedback on his profile and advice* on what to do and not to do when messaging women. Tucker makes a lot of jokes and draws out great feedback from her. He is also a case study here for one way to tease and have fun with a woman. *She was good at knowing what she wanted but bad at extrapolating this across women in general. Mos...
Mar 16, 2015•53 min
What's The Bad Advice? A lot of creepy pickup websites gives lines to use or tactics to ignore, isolate, keep pushing, and "attract" a woman when she says she has a boyfriend. This applies to short-term mating situations. Why This Is Bad Advice? You are wasting your time talking to someone who is not into you. Creepy dudes give this creepy advice because many of the guys they are marketing to who follow pickup crap get this response a lot, "Sorry I have a boyfriend." because the women they are t...
Mar 12, 2015•13 min
There are a lot of anecdotes from Reddit's NoFap and YourBrainOnPorn of guys who have issues with masturbation. Unfortunately, there's not much good science and virtually no studies on how much should you masturbate or what is optimal. In this short Q&A episode, Dr. Miller, Tucker, and Nils advise you to experiment, track how you feel, and do what's best for yourself until better science comes out. If you are married, it's better to just have sex with your wife. They also try to figure out w...
Mar 11, 2015•12 min
This listener called in from Boston, which is a terrible city full of awful people. We've had multiple questions about how to handle assholes from there. We decided to answer one of them and rip on Boston in general. In this Q&A, Tucker Max, Dr. Geoff Miller, and Nils Parker explain how male cockblockers are usually not trying to stop you from getting the girl. They are instead asserting their status or dominance by making fun of you. If your friends are doing this, you have shitty friends a...
Mar 10, 2015•22 min
In week 5 of Helping Joe, Nils Parker steps in via Skype while Charlie is playing it away . Nils brings a different set of questions (and jokes) for dealing with Joe’s issues. He and Tucker Max dive a little deeper into why Joe gets nervous on first dates and how to reframe one’s mindset when going into a date to have more fun and be more relaxed, which ultimately will lead to those dates going better. They also talk about understanding women on Tinder and setting better expectations for date....
Mar 09, 2015•35 min
Women give this advice to guys a lot, but it's useless. A better way for you to "just be yourself" is to first figure out what about you is attractive to women. Then accentuate these strengths by putting yourself in places where those best parts of you will shine and your weaknesses will not show.
Mar 06, 2015•10 min
In week 4 of Helping Joe, Tucker and Charlie begin by talking about Joe's first improv class, going out to a bar with Charlie, and feedback from girls at that bar. They then dive into having better and more fun conversations, giving a ton of tips, tricks, and ways to re-frame how you look at making small talk or talking with women at bars or on dates. Also, Joe recorded his last date so Charlie and Tucker could listen to it (not on the podcast). They give specific and sometimes hilarious feedbac...
Mar 05, 2015•1 hr 11 min
When a woman you are sleeping with wants an exclusive long-term relationship (boyfriend), but you are not ready to give that to her, it's best to be upfront and honest about it. Tucker Max was terrible at this when he was younger, and it led to relationship disasters. In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Dr. Geoff Miller explain how it's totally cool not to want to commit long-term to a woman you are having sex with, but it's important to have a clear conversation with her about...
Mar 04, 2015•12 min
This is a great question, but the way this young caller asks it and the background he gives us, which is great by the way because it helps us figure out what's really going on, shows that there are fundamental problems with his mindset, strategy, tactics, etc. He has gotten a ton of terrible advice and ideas from pickup artist nonsense. Tucker Max, Dr. Geoff Miller, and Nils Parker explain the four most common reasons why girls flake, cancel, or don't show up to a date; why this will (and should...
Mar 03, 2015•21 min
Getting drunk, yelling, and/or being rude with women is not an effective strategy. However, there are traits of an 'asshole' that women do find attractive. This was Tucker's mating strategy for almost 10 years. He wrote 3 books about his stories of being an asshole. It is difficult to pull off and works best with a small percentage of emotionally damaged women. We also have a whole podcast on this in our How To Be Attractive Series ....
Feb 27, 2015•36 min
Jealousy is the emotion of mate guarding, paying attention to the behavior of our mates around others. There are many evolutionary reasons for this, and Dr. Geoffrey Miller explains why a little jealousy can be good. Also, be honest with yourself about why you are in a relationship. Tucker Max and Nils Parker give advice on mate value in different life stages. And Tucker runs through 5 quick questions to ask yourself to understand if a relationship is going to last or if she will eventually look...
Feb 26, 2015•12 min
This is normal and something every guy goes through. Two effective ways to start getting back out there and regaining confidence are small wins and great friends. Dr. Geoffrey Miller begins this Q&A episode talking about making small steps to be more outgoing, with women and with friends. Tucker Max brings up social relationships and how a great thing to do is engage with good friends in positive, uplifting ways. Many problems start with not having friends. This is something that most dating...
Feb 25, 2015•14 min
This Q&A is for men who are are worried about going bald or gray and losing hair. There are two key takeaways: great hair doesn't matter as much as you think and the simple solution to be more attractive it to shave your head. Tucker Max, Dr. Geoff Miller, and Nils Parker talk about how there's not much you can do to prevent hair loss, but that's OK because women don't really care. Dr. Miller mentions it's not even in the top 30 most important things that women want. However, awful hair like...
Feb 24, 2015•12 min
In week 3 of Helping Joe, Tucker Max and Charlie Hoehn talk about two of Joe's Tinder dates and break down what went wrong and why. They go over his mistakes, including one critical first date mistake that blew any chance he had with a cute Mexican girl. They also talk about improv classes, why they are awesome, and how most guys don't get enough "reps" in real life. They wrap up with a bit about testosterone test results, the importance of social relationships, and how they have a huge impact o...
Feb 23, 2015•55 min
The idea that just believing in yourself, going out there, and faking it will lead to real confidence and long-term success. Confidence is the realistic expectation that you have of being successful at something given your competence at this thing and the risk involved in doing it. Humans developed confidence as a way to track our competencies so that we make the right decisions about various risks. This is not feeling good about yourself. This is not believing in yourself no matter what. That i...
Feb 20, 2015•19 min
Taking yourself too seriously can mean many things like you may have no sense of humor or you're too into yourself. In this episode, Dr. Miller, Tucker, and Nils explain how self-deprecating humor, making fun of yourself, is the best first step you can take to being less serious. Research shows many positives associated with this type of humor. Sometimes, being shy and reserved is a result of your social group. If that is true for you, find people or places where you are more comfortable to open...
Feb 19, 2015•22 min
Women who work are usually paid to be nice to you, especially bartenders and waitresses. If you like her, there are low risk ways to see if she's interested. In this episode, Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Dr. Geoff Miller talk about how to gather information ( Does she have a boyfriend? ), talk to her like a friend, and ask her out in an easy way (think social, not 1:1) so you don't creep out a woman who is 'trapped' at work. Nils, who was a bartender in his 20s, also gives advice on how to tell ...
Feb 18, 2015•14 min
Humor is very attractive and displays many traits like intelligence, social proof, mental health. Not everyone can be a comedian, but you can go out with good friends, make fun of eachother, and bring women into the fun. In this Q&A, Nils Parker, Tucker Max, and Dr. Geoff Miller explain the basics and low risk ways to use humor, be funny, and tease: Making fun of yourself and your friends is attractive Even having just one hilarious good friend is enough to make you better. How to tease wome...
Feb 17, 2015•28 min
In the second week of Helping Joe, Tucker Max and Charlie Hoehn talk about Joe's Tinder profile (what he did right and wrong), his first Tinder date, why small talk is so important and easy it is to do, why making a woman feel comfortable on the first date is critical to it going well (Joe fails at this in later episodes), and how to message or followup with a woman who "goes dark." Also, Tucker and Charlie make fun of Joe and the odd things he says.
Feb 16, 2015•55 min
The Numbers Game ( the more girls you talk to, the more sex you have ) is bad and ineffective advice, even for short-term mating. There are some big assumptions that pua guys make with this that are just wrong. More effective strategies are to optimize your mating market and change your goal when you go out. If you have trouble talking to women or getting a date, playing the numbers game is almost the worst thing you can do.
Feb 13, 2015•21 min
Getting over a breakup is tough. This is the other side of a past Q&A we did on breaking up without being a dick . It's fucked up when a serious girlfriend dumps you by text, but it's likely there were signs of this coming. In this Q&A episode, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils talk about the best ways to get closure, what to look for and reflect on, and how to talk to friends (mutual, hers, and yours) to figure out what went wrong....
Feb 12, 2015•17 min
The short answer is that there's is no right time. Every guy is different. But there are ways to know when to switch from short-term mating to a long-term relationship. Getting tired of sleeping with women that you don't care about is one of them. This decision is best made by emotion, not logic and reason. Listen to your gut. And remember you can always go back to short-term relationships if you want. Tucker starts this episode talking about how he knew it was time to make the switch in his 30s...
Feb 11, 2015•22 min
Career or life anxieties can feel overwhelming, but you don't have to know where you're going in life or have a great career before finding a girlfriend. Women don't date a job. They date a person. In this Q&A, Tucker and Dr. Miller explain how your career is only one factor in your overall attractiveness and not a very important one, especially if you are younger. Research on this indicates that women can find a man's potential for success much more attractive than his actual success. This ...
Feb 10, 2015•15 min
This is a new podcast segment called "Helping Joe." We take a regular Mating Grounds listener and work through his problems with meeting and dating women. In the first episode of this series, Tucker and Charlie learn about Joe's problems and why he's not doing well with women. They dive into how and where to meet women, understanding attractive women, and how to set up a great Tinder profile, including ideas for funny photos and an interesting bio.
Feb 09, 2015•1 hr 29 min
Hooking up is awesome but ending a short-term relationship by disappearing or being a dick is harmful to both you and her. Tucker has learned a lot from ending relationships in a myriad of horrible ways. Read any of his 3 books if you want to learn how NOT to do this well. In this Q&A, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller show you exactly how to breakup a short or medium term relationship so you are both better off. They give breakup conversation scripts and examples you can copy verbatim. Be kind b...
Feb 04, 2015•33 min
The strategies you need to get over severe social anxiety are different than past answers we've given on social anxiety and being nervous. Dr. Miller, Tucker, and Nils dive into extinction theory and how to use exposure therapy to take small steps and build on them. They give many short-term and long-term strategies to effectively manage social fear so it won't stop you from meeting women and talking to women.
Feb 03, 2015•21 min
If you are a classmate, friend, or acquaintance of a woman, you are already a potential mate. Talking is a way to figure out if there is a connection or chemistry. Having anything in common is a great way to talk to her and start a conversation. You can then transition into other conversation topics. You don't have to re-introduce yourself as a sexual being. You already are.
Feb 02, 2015•12 min
The idea that you should wait a long time before texting or calling a girl after getting her number is wrong; you should text a girl when you feel like texting her. In this episode, Tucker, Geoff, and Carin explain why it's dumb to play games, and tell you what you need to do and what you need to avoid when first texting a girl.
Dec 31, 2014•21 min
Sometimes a woman may do something that you perceive as rejection, but it's not actually a rejection. If you have a negative mindset and always assume the worst, you're going to have trouble with dating and relationships. In this episode, Tucker, Nils, and Charlie why a woman might try to reschedule a date or otherwise change plans, what the correct way to response is, and how to improve a negative mindset so that you will be more successful with women.
Dec 30, 2014•12 min
How you move is a key indicator of your sexual fitness, and by developing and displaying physical skills in ways that matter to women, you will become significantly more attractive. In this episode, Tucker and Geoff explain why women find physical skills attractive, how to find skills that interest you, and how to display your physical skills to attract women.
Dec 29, 2014•1 hr 5 min
