Rejoice, for Luke and Pete are back! And this time around they're talking Jeff Bezos' wedding - what's the small talk going to be like? Meanwhile Pete is contemplating living off-grid as long as he can have a superfast broadband connection, which kind of defeats the point, and we hear from a genuinely inspirational vigilante Dad who, in a bastardisation of Liam Neeson in Taken, just wants his son's mountain bike back. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or...
Jun 30, 2025•35 min
In what is sure to become absolutely seismic news, Pete was accosted at a train station this week by a listener who quite simply hates Luke and his interrupting ways. An event that was sure to test Pete's small talk skills to the very limit. For his part, Luke took the events with his usual good grace, by which we mean he became his trademark belligerent self. Also today, there's Rik Mayall, Tim Key, the dangers of buying too much outerwear and, of course, your latest battery submissions. Can we...
Jun 26, 2025•31 min
This is a show primarily about urination. But don't let that put you off! We all do it! But do we all do it on consecrated ground, or off of diving boards? Hope not, hope not. Elsewhere on your LAPS ep du jour we talk cherry trees, Pete's dog going on a mad one with some leeks and the sharing of criminal records between nations. There's also the discovery of an adorable new television show involving toddlers doing everyday tasks. Join us! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in t...
Jun 23, 2025•35 min
Pete’s riding high after winning a 90s-themed pub quiz, but Luke isn’t celebrating – he’s staunchly anti-pub quiz, claiming it threatens the sanctity of the sacred bar area. In protest, he offers up a definitive list of the only pub entertainment he’ll tolerate. Elsewhere, the lads dive into restaurant etiquette. Pete rails against waiters who rush him while Luke boldly declares that small plate restaurants should be made illegal. Plus, there’s a meat glue follow-up from a concerned emailer, and...
Jun 19, 2025•31 min
Scandal rocks the studio as Pete catches Luke doing the unthinkable: eating a snack on air. Things spiral further when Luke takes a swing at pronouncing pain au raisin, leading to a passionate post-Brexit rant about why all baked goods should come with an English translation. Then, in a shocking turn of events, Pete reveals he’s started wearing Y-fronts unironically… a fact Luke finds deeply unsettling. We also hear about Luke’s teenage BMX-building era, question whether amateur cyclists really ...
Jun 16, 2025•35 min
Luke tells Pete about his most stressful Lime bike ride yet – unknowingly cycling home on one graffitied with “Pedo bike” on the side. Naturally, today’s big questions are: should we all be allowed to name hire bikes? And should kids ride for free? Elsewhere, Pete nearly doxxes himself in postcode form, Luke gets nostalgic about beaded taxi seat covers, and the lads confront a painful truth…they've become halloumi boys – and Luke’s had enough of being shamed by performative foodies about it. Plu...
Jun 12, 2025•31 min
Today, Luke and Pete dive into the chemical mystery of WD-40 – is it basically just liquid cocaine? Then they move on to debating the fastest way to destroy your phone if the police stop you with something dodgy on it…just a hypothetical! Elsewhere, Luke’s nearly in hives over Pete’s snack-based mic etiquette, Donny has no idea how Rob Brydon ended up in his contacts, and a listener falls asleep on the toilet during a Ramble Live show. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touc...
Jun 09, 2025•35 min
Turns out your favourite duo aren’t the only Luke and Pete in the wider podcasting ecosystem. So now we have extensive beef with a seemingly questionable Pete and Luke we’ve just stumbled across. That aside, Luke discusses his new potential career as a sleep coach (“just get your head down”) and we finally crack the Steven Bartlett conundrum. Plus, peculiar places to watch the O.J. Simpson car chase, batteries aplenty and the grim, grey line between what’s socially acceptable and illegal within ...
Jun 05, 2025•35 min
Pete and a laryngitis-ridden Luke settle in for a thoroughly analytical breakdown of the current state of the UK box office. Plus, we have to ask the difficult question: is Keanu Reaves actually terrible at acting? Elsewhere we get an update from the Bad Boy of Pétanque, hear of badgers terrorising Pete’s local area and a listener’s going to Glastonbury and hasn’t heard of Neil Young - Luke ain’t happy… Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if c...
Jun 02, 2025•34 min
We’re keeping it British today, as we get through our respective Nando’s orders and rank the frankly outrageous eating habits from our student days. Oh and Pete nearly attempted a park run but got distracted. Plus, some incredible attempts at New Players and we start building our Mount Rushmore of conspiracy theories #doyourownresearch. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the t...
May 29, 2025•29 min
Today, the lads kick things off with a classic Jeremy Kyle moment: a man boldly declares he loves cocaine more than his kids. This prompts a discussion on addiction where Luke accuses Pete of being addicted to papier-mâché (he doesn’t deny it) and Pete issues a public warning about glue powders – specifically the deeply cursed meat glue. Elsewhere, a casual confession about a recent outdoor wee sends them into a surprisingly passionate debate about the regional politics of public urination. And ...
May 26, 2025•36 min
Luke’s livid at the fact he’s stuck with just one Father’s Day while his wife gets to celebrate Mother’s Day in both the UK and US. Meanwhile, Pete’s only just realised you’re supposed to buy your partner a Mother’s Day gift… and it’s her first one, too. Strong start! Elsewhere, Pete confidently declares Neil Young a B-grade artist, but Luke’s not having any of it. Choosing to rise above Pete’s attempt at antagonising him, he dives into the new Becoming Led Zeppelin doc, while Donny reminisces a...
May 22, 2025•28 min
Fresh off a Football Ramble tour, the lads recap a monster journey back from Glasgow, including a five-hour delay, a detour through Edinburgh, and a run-in with a wildly unpredictable couple who produced not one but two cats mid-journey. Pete and Vish witnessed it all, while Luke, blissfully unaware, sat back with noise-cancelling headphones and a Nazi documentary. Elsewhere, the lads get stuck into Glastonbury chat, Luke’s actively praying for a washout, and then take a deep dive into what real...
May 19, 2025•33 min
Pete kicks things off by unpacking the most scandalous moment of the 2025 Met Gala: Rosa Parks printed on a pair of knickers. Naturally, this leads Luke to ask the big question: are we just getting stupider as a society? Then comes the real shocker…Met Gala tickets cost $75,000. Luke’s astounded, and takes it as the perfect excuse to launch into a full-blown rant about stamp duty and the state of everything. Plus, Pete pulls the ultimate contrarian move by refusing to watch Adolescence, instead ...
May 15, 2025•32 min
Luke poses a crucial hypothetical: if music awards only went to artists who’ve never taken a stimulant… who’d actually be left? The lads then dive into the legacy of “straight-head” rockstars and debate whether Winston Marshall’s post-banjo pivot into far-right politics really counts as a glow-up. Spoiler: it doesn’t. Elsewhere, Pete’s parenting takes a turn after he accidentally locks his baby in the car and has to coach her through unlocking it from the inside. And finally, a listener’s clash ...
May 12, 2025•36 min
The lads hop aboard the Steven Bartlett hate train, again, and Pete accuses Luke of being just a little jealous. Elsewhere, Luke shares the tale of a house party gone horribly wrong, involving 30 mates, a wax strip, and one extremely unfortunate soul. Then it’s on to an email special, where Pete proudly declares he’d still jump into a pool even if someone had just done a shit in it…as long as it had been sieved out. His argument? “The water’s touching your arsehole anyway.” Luke isn’t convinced....
May 08, 2025•33 min
Luke’s on a mission to become the most pasty man in Britain, while Pete’s seriously considering a Juicy Couture tracksuit… naturally. Then, the lads weigh in on the Eubank Jr vs Benn fight, the legacy of their famously fiery dads, and Luke recalls being genuinely terrified of Nigel Benn as a ten-year-old. Also on the docket: is it ever okay to let a builder use your toilet? Pete probably wouldn’t mind, he’s got four, and Luke is absolutely astounded! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you ...
May 05, 2025•36 min
After foxes ransack Pete’s nappy bins, Luke suggests a very DIY deterrent: peeing in an Evian bottle to mark his territory… not that he’s speaking from experience. And if he was, he certainly wouldn’t have been caught mid-stream by his wife. Definitely not. Meanwhile, Pete’s overhydration saga hits rock bottom with a full-bladder emergency on the M25, resulting in an SOS wee right outside of a British Airways training centre. Dignity? Absolutely none. Plus, Luke solves a listener’s cat poo probl...
May 01, 2025•29 min
Fresh off the plane back from Vegas, Pete takes aim at the culinary crime scene that is Panda Express and regales us with tales of invisible man matches, and his new survival tool of choice: melatonin. Elsewhere, Luke delivers the brutal news about Chick-fil-A’s problematic past and the lads wonder why anyone cares what other people spend their money on. Plus, Pete narrowly avoids a risky duck blood meal before his 11-hour flight home and Luke’s genuinely impressed with his growth! Email us at h...
Apr 28, 2025•32 min
Pete kicks things off with an identity crisis – he’s convinced he’s 34, and Luke has the unenviable task of breaking the news that he’s... absolutely not. Talk then turns to Pete’s upcoming WrestleMe Vegas trip and the truly chaotic prospect of a 120-man Royal Rumble. That’s a lot of sweaty bodies! Elsewhere, after a brief detour into 'The Slug', the lads debate where the line is drawn between harmless kink and full-blown creep behaviour. Plus, why do homophobes always say things are being jamme...
Apr 24, 2025•32 min
Today, Luke reflects on the pain of a joke that doesn't land with Gen Z — but insists it’s them, not him. He also shares the story of his Seven Sisters hike gone wrong, which left him injured and his wife unimpressed. Elsewhere, Pete reckons he might have worms after a week of dodgy meals — there’s always a gastrological problem with him isn’t there! The lads also dive into golf’s strangest traditions… like the Masters champion choosing the dinner for the following year. So, what would you have?...
Apr 21, 2025•33 min
Today, Luke and Pete dive into the UK’s sugar tax and discover why Mexican Coke is far superior. Luke confesses he can’t stomach the punch of full-fat drinks anymore, unlike Pete, who’s mesmerised by the sheer amount of sugar he could consume — enough to make his liver beautifully sweet! Elsewhere, they reflect on how acting has improved since the 80s, with Pete arguing that we’re expecting way too much from actors these days. Plus, he’s got some choice words for the kid from Adolescence, who, i...
Apr 17, 2025•31 min
Today, after Pete introduces us to the world of expat DJ channels, Luke is left wondering why some expats seem to loathe British culture — especially the ones who spend their days googling Sadiq Khan and eat only English food once they've moved to Spain. Luke wants absolutely nothing to do with it, so Pete offers up an alternative: life in a swamp, anyone? Plus, someone’s eating sunflower seeds with the shells still on…pure lunacy, and Pilot Dave is back in the LAPS cockpit! Email us at hello@lu...
Apr 14, 2025•32 min
Today, Luke and Pete tackle life’s big questions: how much money would it take to make them disappear forever? A hundred quid would sort one of them, apparently. And whose teeth would look better in whose mouth? Elsewhere, Pete reminisces about the time he got hench for a bit, before he pitches the idea of having entrance music in the office like a WWE star. We also wonder if Elon Musk has daddy issues and Pete has a few words for scarily ambitious voiceover thief Charlie…not from Carlisle. Emai...
Apr 10, 2025•33 min
Happy Monday - it’s time for some more carefully curated nonsense. Luke recounts a bizarre standoff he had in Pret involving a truly odd policy #JusticeforMoore. We also get into the latest internet controversy swirling around our beloved Pete and blast through plenty of emails - including a listener who writes to us a few minutes before his vasectomy, an update on Norwich’s cultural impact and some breaking news concerning Stubbington Study Centre. Join us! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com...
Apr 07, 2025•36 min
Pete's latest predicament: finding appropriate places to urinate. Mainly because he's drinking upwards of nine litres of water a day. We work out how best to tackle that and dissect the most terrifying brunch experience imaginable. Plus, batteries aplenty and fixing kids' computers in the local neighbourhood. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X , Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us o...
Apr 03, 2025•29 min
Today, Luke and Pete stumble upon a truly baffling real estate listing — a London flat with a full-size swimming pool directly above a Chinese takeaway. What could possibly go wrong? The lads weigh up the pros and cons of living beneath an indoor ocean and debate whether they’d take the plunge. Elsewhere, Luke is horrified to learn that Donny refuses to moisturise, while Pete shares his survival guide for dealing with a toddler who has zero respect for bathroom privacy. Plus, the lads dissect Ne...
Mar 31, 2025•32 min
Pete’s gearing up for a deeply inconvenient 5 a.m. Jet2 flight, and Luke isn’t holding back on how much of a terrible idea that is. This sends the lads down memory lane as they relive their school trip adventures — leading to Luke’s tale of a hellish coach trip to Switzerland. Elsewhere, they weigh in on Tesla’s latest embarrassment, Musk’s ongoing public meltdown, and why some people just don’t seem to grasp the consequences of their own actions. Plus, Pete fully succumbs to AI madness as he us...
Mar 27, 2025•27 min
Today, we take a deep dive into Switch Bitch — Roald Dahl’s surprisingly adult collection of short stories — while Pete grapples with his confusion, and slight heartbreak, over why Quentin Blake didn’t stay loyal to Roald. Elsewhere, Pete explores the bizarre world of pay-to-shoplift experiences in Japan, sparking a debate on whether fake theft really scratches the same itch. Plus, the lads weigh in on the Angel Boys’ return to social media. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get i...
Mar 24, 2025•35 min
Today, Pete’s got a confession: years ago, he went to New York for a wedding but ended up battling a truly catastrophic case of constipation. Cue a desperate Walgreens enema purchase, a brutal two-and-a-half-week ordeal, and a story that Luke will not let him forget. Elsewhere, the lads dive into the misery of kitchen appliance repairs, with Luke recounting an awkward run-in with a deeply grumpy Zanussi repairman. Plus, a discussion on the baffling modern career of Neil Young somehow leads to Pe...
Mar 20, 2025•30 min
