Luke wonders if he’s missing out on a lucrative career as a right-wing grifter, while Pete shares his latest YouTube algorithm nightmare — somehow featuring Bill Oddie discussing Jimmy Savile... Elsewhere, Pete reminisces about his childhood pet gerbils and the highly questionable method his dad used to control their ever-growing population. Plus, the lads revisit Pete’s infamous infant chip bowl helmet invention and debate whether chasing pigeons is a fundamental part of childhood. Email us at ...
Mar 17, 2025•33 min
Today, the guys tackle the moral dilemma of a man who saved 2.4 million babies with his blood donations — should he have charged for his life-saving plasma? Speaking of blood, Luke discusses the results of his recent at-home blood test, which, much to his delight, reveals an above-average testosterone level. Plus, the lads dive into the logistics of In the Night Garden Live after Pete boasts about his recent ticket purchase. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Thr...
Mar 13, 2025•35 min
Today, Luke and Pete are all moustached up, comparing their freshly grown 'tashes to thatched roofs, and somehow spiral into the baffling logistics of maintaining a straw-covered house in 2025. Pete’s convinced today’s thatchers are just winging it... Then, the lads take a moment of silence for Skype before Luke gets absolutely ecstatic about the unexpected return of The Beta Band. Who knew he’d be this pumped about experimental psychedelic electronic progressive folk? Well, we did… obviously! E...
Mar 10, 2025•32 min
Pete’s growing paranoia about the state of the world has him wondering if it’s time to start prepping with a lifetime supply of beans. Meanwhile, Luke’s more concerned about his mental decline — is he losing it, or is it just the menopause? Elsewhere, the lads take a deep dive into the baffling world of cosmetic procedures, from Turkey teeth to Botox, and debate whether they should get involved. Plus, an emailer writes in with an allegory about deep-fried chocolate bars, and Luke is horrified to...
Mar 06, 2025•30 min
The lads are back, kicking things off with the internet fallout they got from the horrific childhood story Pete told last week — turns out, Luke got all the messages while Pete somehow dodged the interrogation. Meanwhile, an entirely different horror emerges: the concept of a piss drawer. Could Pete introduce one into his household? Luke has… concerns. Elsewhere, Pete reports back from a trip to Kosovo, navigating local delicacies and questionable Airbnb etiquette. Meanwhile, Luke ponders whethe...
Mar 03, 2025•33 min
Luke encounters a mystery vandal targeting Lime bikes with an unusual weapon—vomit. Was it a protest? A bizarre art installation? Or just someone having a really bad night? The investigation begins. Elsewhere, the lads revisit the ridiculousness of pubs shutting down over noise complaints, Pete gets roasted for his chaotic outfit choices, and they discuss the bizarre social media presence of Gordon Kindness—a man whose life appears to revolve around Greggs, diarrhoea updates, and questionable fo...
Feb 27, 2025•26 min
The lads kick things off with the great Nepo Baby debate—where does nepotism actually end, and is being the niece of Gruffalo author Julia Donaldson enough to count? This, naturally, leads to an important clarification: Pete is not related to Mr. Beast or any other famous Donaldsons. But today's real highlight? A listener email about a truly unexpected photo mix-up involving a leaky balcony repair request… and a very intimate surprise. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touc...
Feb 24, 2025•36 min
Pete kicks things off with a deeply unsettling childhood memory—let’s just say it involves his dad, a used condom, and an innocent misunderstanding that still haunts him to this day. Luke, naturally, has many questions… Elsewhere, the lads tackle the great working-class dad salt obsession, and Pete recounts his trip to Hartlepool, where he received rockstar treatment at a retirement home just for bringing his baby. Then, before they go, they circle back to the infamous Bitcoin tip saga—because, ...
Feb 20, 2025•33 min
The lads dive into the absurdity of modern reality TV, breaking down the viral Temptation Island moment where one man, Montoya, processes betrayal through a mix of heartbreak and deeply unnecessary cardio. Luke and Pete marvel at the sheer spectacle but can’t help but wonder—what have we done to ourselves as a society? Beyond that, they find time to dissect the Super Bowl halftime show, and a listener offers to send Pete a DIY fuzz pedal kit—which he’s already scheming to use for harmonised loop...
Feb 17, 2025•31 min
The lads kick off with their favourite internet cesspit—Nextdoor—where NIMBYs reign supreme, complaining about everything from faint giggles to morally questionable pub patrons. This sets Luke off on a raging rant about a recent article exposing how noise complaints are slowly strangling London’s nightlife. And just when you think they’ve had enough internet for one day, they dive headfirst into the wild world of online conspiracy theorists and have no choice but to marvel at their sheer lunacy—...
Feb 13, 2025•26 min
Luke reimagines Glastonbury, wondering why they’ve never done a live show there—until the conversation spirals into a full-blown business plan for a festival burger van. Speaking of food, Pete shares the tale of a very moist ostrich fillet he unearthed from the depths of his fridge, before revealing his wild lunch—trust us, you’ll never guess what he ate! Plus, of course, the lads can’t resist taking a swing at yet more Trump absurdity... Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in t...
Feb 10, 2025•33 min
The lads kick things off with a deep dive into the world of shameless grifters, debating why right-wing outrage merchants always seem to dominate online algorithms. Is Andrew Tate just projecting? And why is Ben Shapiro so obsessed with Barbie? Plus, Pete recounts his bizarre late-night encounter in a Soho public toilet… because, let’s be honest, it’s always Pete that finds himself in these situations, isn’t it? Tell us your wildest public toilet stories by emailing at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ...
Feb 06, 2025•28 min
Should the lads start wearing makeup? Luke thinks he always looks sickly on camera, while Pete suggests a few injections might do the trick. If that fails, he’s considering tattooing his hairline instead. Elsewhere, Pete lays out his very specific travel MO: dawdling, dinner, and—most importantly—an ungodly hotel bathroom session upon arrival. Then, Luke adits he's surprised Pete's never late, but when he is, it's because he’s had a full-blown menty-b. Speaking of which, Luke nearly had one hims...
Feb 03, 2025•31 min
The lads dive into Trump’s latest inauguration, debating whether keeping it indoors was a strategic move to dodge an embarrassingly small crowd, while applauding Michelle Obama for swerving the whole thing entirely and setting a new standard in #NotMyProblem energy. Then, they lay out their own presidential plans—starting with an executive order to ban raspberry yoghurts nationwide. Elsewhere, Pete’s voice machine impression of Luke’s child leaves Luke thoroughly creeped out, there’s another mad...
Jan 30, 2025•32 min
Pete’s buzzing about his latest gadget obsession, which Luke says is just filling “a hole in his soul.” Meanwhile, Luke takes a nostalgic dive into 'Big Break', the 90s snooker-based TV gem featuring awkward catchphrases, deadpan co-hosts, and a young Ronnie O’Sullivan’s debut. Then, the chat veers into a debate on archiving lost media and Pete’s dad’s illegal but oddly impressive DVD stash. Plus, Luke also recommends a gripping BBC documentary on the 7/7 bombings, sparking a conversation on res...
Jan 27, 2025•34 min
Have you ever written a diss track about someone? What about someone who’s in the same band as you and is then forced to play that song every night for years on end? It’s happened to Fleetwood Mac, and it could soon happen to us… We spend half of today's show getting distracted by the 1989 BRIT Awards, wonder what films scare children and get through a few (awful) battery submissions. Not as many as we’d like, because Pete needed a wee throughout. Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get ...
Jan 23, 2025•27 min
With a particular story dominating Pete’s consciousness this week, there’s only one place we could start: penis enlargement surgery. Happy Monday! Elsewhere, Pete’s sporting a new haircut courtesy of a random shopkeeper, we put the music world to rights and a listener has documented the *exact* moment they realised they weren’t young anymore. Anyone else heard of Bloc Party? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X , Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging tak...
Jan 20, 2025•33 min
Today, the lads dive into the perplexing world of rattan furniture: What is it made of? Why is it so expensive? And why was Luke’s cat, Jasper, so obsessed with it? Pete then shares a story about his dad randomly bringing home a snooker table and a bag of balls, sparking a debate about the most inconvenient gifts (spoiler: Luke once sent someone a box of crickets). Elsewhere, Pete declares that the true meaning of life is enjoying the art of antagonising friends and colleagues. Plus, he opens up...
Jan 16, 2025•22 min
It’s a chaotic start to the week as Pete confesses to accidentally installing a secret camera in an Airbnb, while Luke can’t resist another dig at Jake Humphrey’s “sexy chat.” Elsewhere, Pete considers taking wrestling classes as his January fitness fix and reveals some questionable dessert choices - dog cake and Baileys-flavoured squirty cream, anyone? Plus, a listener’s bizarre Airbnb tale and a fiery debate: are rivalries just plain silly? It’s everything you didn’t know you needed. Got any w...
Jan 13, 2025•31 min
Today, Pete can’t stop raving about WD40, while Luke ponders how parenting life has crushed his spontaneity. Then, the lads debate nap time efficiency, the dread of “circling back in the new year,” and whether cash really is king...should we really be handing a stack of cash straight to the doctor? Elsewhere, Pete pitches "Lukey in Lagos", a foolproof idea for Luke to become a YouTube sensation, while Luke debates the right approach to plane food — spoiler: just say no. Plus, the lads have a Bea...
Jan 09, 2025•31 min
This week, Donny shares how his infamous “C*** mug” kept making surprise appearances during adoption meetings, leading to a frantic mug switcheroo every time it landed in the wrong hands. Of course, this sparks a full-on mug-off: Who’s got the best collection? Does Luke have a serious mug hoarding problem? And why does tea taste better from a stolen mug? The lads then turn their attention to the gentrification of Margate, posing the question: is it a seaside gem or... just a sh*thole? Plus, Pete...
Jan 06, 2025•32 min
Thanks to a LAPS in judgement regarding the use of protection spells, both Pete and Luke were cursed by the lurgy witch over Christmas, which means they couldn't record the final episode of 2024. Never fear, they're starting a brand new year with some great brand new stories (that MI6 agent who zipped himself into a sports bag in a bath in Pimlico). Hello@LukeandPeteShow.com if you've had a memorable new year - let us know! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jan 02, 2025•34 min
Today, the lads put the piss in precipice as they bid farewell to 2024! Pete shares the tale of throwing his shoulder out while shadowboxing to impress the wife he has access to, while Luke issues an important year-end reminder: never trust a man selling both a car battery and a deli block of cheese. Plus, listener emails bring plenty of laughs, including one poor soul’s cold shower encounter featuring horse-related podcast banter and an awkward run-in with their head of department. And just whe...
Dec 30, 2024•32 min
Happy Boxing Day! Hope you and yours are having a smashing festive week - certainly more than a listener who emailed in with a shudderingly cringe Christmas proposal story… We then celebrate Christmas in the only way we know how: by charting the bizarre history of Lads’ mags and sifting through some disappointing battery submissions. Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X , Threads or Instagram for tales of festive cheers, beers and rears. ***Please take the time to rate a...
Dec 26, 2024•32 min
Luke’s been drooling all over himself on the train up to some important meetings - nice. Speaking of drooling (stay with us), Pete has some truly lovely news to share… We also get to the very bottom of the TikTok algorithm, continue to snoop on listeners’ LinkedIn profiles and take some fish to be fried. Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X , Threads or Instagram for tales of festive cheers, beers and rears. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify...
Dec 23, 2024•31 min
After inadvertently being poisoned by Pete, Luke finds the time to update us on his recent quest to deliver Christmas gifts to the bloke who owned his house. It has taken a depressingly predictable turn. James McCartney also continues to astound - you’re a grown man, James - and we get more details on the Nugget Power Hour. Plus, we try to ensure this week’s battery selection has a festive flavour. Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X , Threads or Instagram for tales of ...
Dec 19, 2024•28 min
Today, the lads unwrap the baffling Christmas tradition of ‘Hide the Pickle’, courtesy of a listener email. But the real showstopper? Luke can barely contain his excitement as he recounts the heroic tale of how he saved Christmas! Then, Donny steps into the spotlight as an unexpected Christmas tree connoisseur. Elsewhere, Pete shares his love for Skunk Anansie’s Post Orgasmic Chill—and his equally passionate hatred for the weatherman behind the Children in Need 24-Hour Drumathon. And in true Luk...
Dec 16, 2024•30 min
Luke and Pete endlessly trudge through snow, hail and the bodies of deceased pets to bring you another slice of precisely nothing. It's the Luke and Pete show, baby! We need your Christmas tales, like Christmas pudding needs brandy: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com for tales of festive cheers, beers and rears. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dec 12, 2024•32 min
It’s an email special! We’re down to *only* thirty-three pages of unread emails, so let’s dive into the bulging postbag for a rummage around. We’re talking things that make us proud to be British (spoiler: not many), which way to go down a Japanese escalator and how you’d go about eating a McDonald’s nugget every minute for an hour. Rest assured, we also recap Pete’s interview technique with Green Day back in the day. Remember, just wear a t-shirt from an obscure punk band. Either that or dress ...
Dec 09, 2024•31 min
Ever wondered how to future-proof your wardrobe? Simple: just buy the same two shirts in every single possible size, to account for life’s weight fluctuations. Foolproof, even at Christmas! We recap Luke’s awkward but enjoyable night at a recent awards show, and trace Pete’s recent skirmish with some debt collection agencies. Stay tuned for our totally legitimate advice on how to deal with them - plus, batteries proved a mixed bag… Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, T...
Dec 05, 2024•32 min
