Teddy & Mya - He’s a Tool

First Date follow Up powered by the Advocates Injury Attorneys online at Advocateslaw dot com.

Teddy is on the phone today for a first date follow up and he's getting ghosted by Maya. So in a few minutes we're gonna call her see if she tells us why she's ghosting him, and maybe get him another date. But first, Teddy, how long has it been since you heard from her?

I've spent about a week.

How many times have you tried to reach out to her?

Maybe three times? Like what's every couple days? Two or three days, just you know, saying what's up? How's it going.

We were talking before and after we went out that it just kind of stopped.

She didn't respond to any of those.

I know, not not at all.

Well, let's talk about the date and see if we can see went wrong? What and see what went wrong?

We went to a really nice place we went to I don't know if you've ever been there, but really cool. If they have a rooftop dining area. So she suggested, you know that we sit outside because it was a really really nice day.

It was cool.

We had a really great conversation and she's got her head on her shoulders, you know.

In the right way.

You know how a lot of people they focus too much on like social media and stuff, you know what I mean, they say about everything, like their job, and that's I'm not I'm not trying to meet anybody like that, you know. But she really loves her job. She's got a really good job. She works, and she's got goals, which is always a good thing, you know what I mean.

Ye like like a five year plan.

That's you know, that's that's important, and that's something that I was I really thought we hit it.

Off on on that level.

And uh, you know, the food is great and the hobby answer is great.

You know.

So I really can't really think off the top of my head of why after such a nice date that, you know, I just she just stopped communicating with me, Like I can't say that we stopped communicating.

I'm so you know, trying to reach out, you.

Know, but there's nothing on the other end. Well, was there anything awkward that happened on the date at all that you can think of?

I don't know if it's anything I did. I mean, I'm thinking maybe she didn't like the restaurant even though it was great. You know, but I picked it. That might have been something. I will admit. The service wasn't the best. You know, we wanted to sit outside like that she suggested it, but then they sat as were the suns like directly in our faces, you know, so I.

Had to ask them to move us.

And maybe like because the service wasn't so great, I think maybe like the way, you know, I can be a little assertive when I you know, when when the situation calls for it.

And maybe that's part of the reason.

Why A feel like the second time that I had to ask to be moved to get somebody's attention, that might be it, you know. Other than that, we talked for a while. We watched you know, the sun go down. It was really really cool, you know. And again we had a lot in common, and you know, we had you know, we had we talked about goals. That was always really good.

You know.

So like after you were being assertive, she didn't seem to change her on my quote unquote assertive.

She didn't change her demeanor. Do you feel like she kind of was.

Like, what are you doing?

Brow No, I mean in the moment, I can't I don't remember any disagreement I'm going to say.

No, you sound really really nice. So I'm having a hard time picturing that, Like what did that sound like? Do you mind like pretending for a second?

Well, no, because it's like, you know, excuse me.

You know, I don't know if you remember the old US Bunny cartoon.

Where he's trying to see an other animal's attention. He's like, hey, all the animals are just running. He's trying to figure out what's going on, you know, And then finally I was like, hey, excuse me for a second, you know.

Okay, I didn't like raise my voice or anything, but I definitely had to like get up and go talk to somebody.

Yeah, very very tame. That's what I was trying to figure out. Like, it wasn't an excuse.

No, I'm not going to do that. That's inappropriate.

Did you guys kiss or anything?

No? No, I didn't hug. I don't really make any moves in that direction. It was a nice little hug at the end.

Okay, okay, not like a side hug.

No, it wasn't.

No, I wasn't like a side hug, but it was very brief, like oh, thank you very much, A little pack of the cheek.

That was it?

Well, plus song come back and then call her see if she to tell us why she's ghosting you and maybe get you another date.

Okay, okay, great, all right, well plus song come back, you get your first date. Follow up next. Right in the middle of the first day follow up.

If you're just joining us, Teddy is on the phone and he's getting ghosted by Maya. So we're about to call her steps tell us why she's ghosting him, and maybe get him another date. But first, Teddy, why don't you refresh everybody's memory on your date with Maya?

No, we met online, We talked for a while.

We went on a really nice date at dinner and talk for a while, and.

I thought everything was going great. And I haven't been able to get.

A tutter since you ready for us to call her?

Please?

Yeah, okay, here we go, I may I speak to Maya. Please. This is hey Maya. How are you? My name is Jewbell and this is a radio show. It's called the Jebel Show.

Hi, Maya, the whole show's here. My name's Nina Hi, and I'm Victoria.

Hi cool.

How are you?

I'm good?

Are you?

I'm wonderful? Thank you for asking. Well, we're calling you today because we do a segment on the show. It's called the first Date follow Up. What that is is if you go out on a date with somebody and then you ghost them, that person can email us to call you and ask why you're ghosting them.

Okay, that makes me nervous.

Are you ghasting somebody?

I guess like kin and I feel like I know this is maybe about guess Teddy.

You're correct.

Congratulations, you got it right. You don't get any price for that, but yes it's Teddy. Would you mind telling us why you're ghosting him?

Uh? Well, so we So I met him online and I had when I was when I was online.

And I was like going to the apps or whatever.

A friend of mine was with me, a girlfriend, and she noticed him actually, and she was like, oh, I know exactly who that is, and she was telling me all about him. She like mentioned that he was kind of a tool and that like, I don't know, like dating him is kind of just so bad.

Dating him is kind of like getting a like a loan at a bank.

And so for some reason that really meant that I was kind of intrigued and I was like I want to see if this guy is really like that.

Maybe he's totally not and it'll be great. So I ended up we.

Ended up going on the date, and I just like the whole time he was complaining about things and like making kind of like a fuss about things, Like we were sitting outside and the sun was like on our table and he like made us move, and I just I didn't really mindn't really like totally care. And it was like super busy in our restaurant too, because like

She like, Okay.

I just felt like I had like no say in it, and I was like, Okay, this is kind of strange.

Don't we want somebody that wants to date us?

Know? Of course, of course, I think it was just that he didn't really ask me about any of my hobbies.

He didn't ask me about like anything that I like. He was just like, what's your job? Like do you make enough money to like support yourself? Like what what do you do?

Like?

You know what I mean? Like it was very like I just feel like I was in a job interview or something.

Those are kind of weird questions, especially on a first date.

There's ways to get those answers without asking that question. By the way, you'd like to learn.

But well, guess what maya Well, it's not as easy as you think because Teddy's actually on the phone and has been listening this whole time while to talk.

I don't really know how much I want to have this conversation.

Now. That's that's super messed up.

You know that, you know, you and your friends are making fun of me, And that's that's really what's wrong with these apps. Instead of trying to get to know someone or or share a you know, like anything proper, it's just, oh, let me go see what this person is like really about with a you know, with a with an agenda that you don't even like articulate.

You know.

There wasn't like a vet or anything. I was just genuinely curious.

You're genuinely curious, and you could have just asked that before we went out, all of the questions that saying that we were talking about, you could have asked me about me before we went out.

You could have actually just said, hey, I spoke to my.

Friend, do you know whatever whoever your friend was, and we you know, we could have had this conversation and just avoided all that whole thing.

It's just a little on the ridiculous side, you know, And that's that's that's a problem.

The only thing that you would have just acted probably like like a different way, and then I would have not actually known who the real you is.

Like I just think that that's a silly thing.

I just I went on the date, I like tried to get to know you a little bit, and you did not care about anything I had to say.

You just cared about like the way I like was in my life, like how I fit into your life. And I just think that that's a silly reason.

I don't know about other people online.

I'm definitely me twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. So if you would have asked me, we could have you know, we could have avoided that. All you had to do was ask me about my experience with your friend. And if I could have remembered your friend, I would have told you exactly.

What you know, what I felt.

But when I meet with somebody, when I meet anyone, you know, I'm very straightforward about you know, what's important to me. And I think that we know, what we talked about was really cool, and I thought we had actually, you know.

Thought we had a cool vibe. Now I don't know how it was. You know how much that was you you you.

Know, I mean it was all me. I just I just expected.

I mean I could have actually been a little bit more fun and stuff. But you didn't ask me anything about me as a person, So you got what she asked for. I mean you asked me. It felt like I was in a job interview, Like I just don't get it.

Well when you when you say job interview, if you're going to, you know, meet someone and you want to know if you're compatible, you would ask questions. And for me, I'm a person who does a lot of I'm very serious about.

Work and goals and meeting my goals.

So I just wanted to make sure that I was you know, on the same page as somebody who had, you know, goals.

I mean, do you even have any type of goals? Or was that all just stuff that you were saying?

Of course I have some It's like a silly, silly thing to say, you know.

I just I just expected you to give a little bit more of a crap about like who I am as a person, and all those other things that you're asking of me would have came naturally, they would have come out. You could have like just been a little bit more like, I don't know, like swab about it or something. Because it did not go well, well, tell me one thing that I said about myself on the date.

Tell me because if if it was good, then you should know this, right.

Yeah, but that's not the point I'm trying to do.

All right now.

You know, Hey, Maya, would you like another date with Teddy?

We'll pay for it.

No, thank you, I'm sorry.

I don't want to go out with you again. I get I get it. You know, they just just have fun on your apps.

Maybe you can meet somebody that you're not going to be playing games with from the beginning.

Okay, Teddy, Well, you have fun playing games with yourself. She was first date.

Follow up