Ryan & Lana - Abstinence

First Date follow Up powered by the Advocates Injury Attorneys online at Advocateslaw dot com.

Ryan is on the phone today for our first Date follow up. He's getting ghosted by a woman named Lena, and in a few minutes we're gonna call her seems to tell us why she's ghosting him and maybe get him another date. But first, Ryan, how long has it been since you heard from her?

You know, it's been like a couple of weeks.

That's definitely a ghosting.

Yeah, So how many times have you reached out to her in that time?

You know, just a few times. I don't like to like text too much, you know what I mean? Like you like, I think three times I text her and I'm like, yeah, that's I'm not doing any more than that.

So what do you Let's go back to the date then, like, how did you guys meet? What happened on the date?

So we met on Hinge and then I felt like a really good connection. We both love concerts and like new adventures and trying new things, traveling stuff like that, and like she's very witty and she's very interesting. She's beautiful. So we went to a burger spot on the water nice. Yeah, you know, it was a lot of fun. Like it was nice and like kind of outside kind of area.

I don't know, but that's.

What I was looking for.

But it sounds romantic actually, So after all this time, you know, she's ghosting you two weeks later, the date sounds great, But what is it about her that makes you want to see her now?

You know? I just felt like I had a real connection. We were like kind of similar goals. We both want to travel. I just felt like we we went well together.

Did something happen on the date at all that may have made it go in a different direction?

Well, I will say, you know something kind of not popular now is I have made a decision recently to abstained from sex until marriage.

Okay, and you told her this.

Yes, yes I did, And this is new.

You have I'm always heard okay, okay, right, and you think maybe she had a problem with that because she's like I need you right now.

Ryan.

It's you know, it's possible because like I don't think that's the thing that's common now, Like, you know, some people do it, but it's like, especially you know here, like I don't feel like that's one of those things

Okay, I can respect that.

My last breakup, I decided that I wasn't going to give myself to anybody unless I thought that their energy was good, you know, or that like I wasn't necessarily a marriage thing, but it was kind of the same thing, but it was more about I don't want to like mix my energy with bad energy, you know, because I feel like it does. I feel like you know you do do it does somehow become a part of you. Well, you exchanged more than just what you can see. That

Thank you, because that's for sure. I'm maturing Ryan.

Everybody connection too.

So why do you think she's using you?

Then?

I think, you know, I just don't know if she was comfortable with that. I mean, that's my thought, but like, I don't know for sure because everything else went pretty well. But when I said that, she she didn't have a bad reaction, but it was just kind of like she tend stuff a little bit, you know, and then it kind of like pad a moment passed. So I was like, oh, I guess it's fine.

We'll see if we can figure it out for you, and we'll plays song come back and then call her and see if she'll tell us why she's ghosting you and maybe get you another date. Okay, Okay, sounds great, All right, man, pleas I'll come back get your first day follow up next. Right in the middle of the first day follow up and if you're just joining us. Ryan is on the phone. He's getting ghosted by Lana, and in a minute we're gonna call her see if she tells us why she's ghosting him and maybe get

So I met Lana on Hinge. We connected really quickly. I felt like a good connection with her loss of similar andrest. We went to a burger spot on the water, had a bunch of cocktails and had a lot of fun, and we went for a walk.

We kissed.

Everything seemed perfect, But I feel like, maybe because I want to stain from sex until marriage because of my past, that she might be ghosting me.

Okay, are you ready for us to call her?

Yeah?

Here we go. Hello, Hi, man, I speak to Alana. Please. This is Lana.

Hi Lana, how are you? My name is Jubel and I host a radio show. It's called The Jewbell Show.

Hi, Lana, the whole show's here. I'm Nina. Hi, I'm Victoria.

How are you hid?

Thank you?

Have you ever heard the show before?

I have not.

Okay, I'll let you know something. We do a segment on our show. It's called the first date follow up. What that is is if you go out on a date with somebody and then you ghost them, that person can email us to get you on the phone and ask why you're ghosting them.

So we got an email about you.

Oh and this is from Ryan.

Oh yes, it is Wowway.

Yeah.

Sometimes people say another name, so we know they're ghosting multiple people. But you're obviously just ghosting Ryan right now.

Uh.

I would say that I have not exactly been ghosting Ryan.

That wasn't my intention. I was taking time to process what he told me. At the end of our date.

Ryan said that he is waiting until marriage, and that is not something that I've ever done in a relationship. I have always had intimacy with all of my partners and it's a really big part of a relationship for me.

So it was not my.

Intention to completely ghost Ryan. I really was trying to take time to think about if this could be something that would work for me. I had such a good time. Yes, it was so magical, and he's such a spiritual guy and we really connected. I felt like he was really seeing me. But I'm afraid that if we get into this relationship without you know, the intimacy that I'm usual will one, this sounds bad, but what if we're not good together physically and we find out too late?

That's fair.

And another thing that I have been thinking about is what if it becomes something that gives me, you know, reason to stray, our thoughts to stray because I am a sexual person.

Yeah, so you're processing a lot of different things.

Yes, absolutely, I.

Could understand that. Yeah, I mean, it's not something that you hear all the time, and especially if that's a way that you connect and share yourself with another person. And then that's a lot of pressure too, right because you're like, wait a second, so we're doing this, I'm gonna get excited and want to unwrap the present, but I can't marry you.

So what if we could convince Ryan to sleep with you before you're married? Would you swallow with him again?

But would you?

I would love to sleep with Ryan, But if this is a boundary that he is setting I and I were to get into a relationship with him, I would I would want to respect that. I would not once I am in the relationship, I would not. I would have given up any plans to sleep with Ryan.

What if we could convince him to go back on his morals. Though, well, she's.

Respecting his boundaries, maybe you should respect his boundaries.

I'll respect his boundaries for now. Lona Ryan is actually on the phone listening and wants to talk to you.

Oh hi Ryan.

Yeah, I know it's probably like the most awkward way we could meet again. But I want to say, first of all, I respect that, like you respect my boundaries. It was nice to hear that without you knowing I was there, because like that, that proves to me that if we can make it work, that this could work. But I just want to say, like for me, I don't see intimacy as just there's physical, emotional, mental intimacy that can be built. Like you know, we can have

So like where do you draw the line?

Well, I think that's something that we have to discuss, right.

I respect that, and that does make me excited to hear that you have interest in being intimate with me. I am My biggest concern is still I just am really concerned of.

Straying and that's not your fault, not your fault at all.

That's something that I need to decide and you know, make a plan with my morals that I will not you know, if we were to be in a relationship together, that I will not feel that I'm not getting what I need and then look for what I need elsewhere.

I think I can find ways to take care of what you need.

At least sort Ryan.

Not that I'm trying to get you to rethink the promise that you made to yourself, but I'm trying to get you to rethink it. When I decided to do this similar thing, I didn't make it about marriage because you know, like you should really get to know somebody for it, and it can be a long time before marriage, so that's a long time not doing it. But me and my therapist came up with I will not give myself to anybody until I know I have a secure connection with them.

Well, I think that's fair. I think that's a healthy way of taking of the two.

So, because does it have to be like a ring and a ceremony and all that for Ryan to get it out?

Okay, I don't think it has to, but there definitely has to be that line where it's like, I know I'm building a future with you at the very least.

I think there's a lot of talk that we're getting ahead of ourselves here a little bit. You guys like each other, and I think there's definitely stuff that you guys can explore to even see if you're gonna make it all that way. People just tell me not to get ahead of myself, and I feel like we're gonna ahead of our selves here too, So I don't know that there's a possibility of you getting your needs met in a certain way. Lana, and Ryan, you know you're

Yeah, I think that will work.

I do think that it may be cheesy, but I think that it.

Is very sweet that you brought me on the radio to call me for a second date. I think that is very romantic and I'm willing to try it. I think that we have such a good connection.

Solana, you'll go out with Ryan again. We'll pay for it.

I will.

I would love to see you again. Ryan. Awesome, that's great. I'm glad to hear that. It's like, it's I'm so excited, you know.

Yeah, you guys are cute.

I'm excited too, me too.

Yeah. Congratulations, Ryan, you did it. You got another date.

Double's First Date follow up