In this episode of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast , Brook Olsen sits down with therapist and author Christian Van Norberg to explore the power of radical listening —a practice that goes beyond active listening to foster deep connection and emotional regulation. They discuss how presence, curiosity, and internal awareness can help you disengage from conflict, stay grounded, and support your children without getting pulled into drama. Whether you're navigating court stress or everyday pare...
Jun 30, 2025•54 min
In this episode, Brook sits down with family law attorney Kelli Avallone to unpack the tricky dynamics of covert narcissism in custody battles and high-conflict divorces. They explore why labeling a co-parent as a narcissist can backfire, how courts really view psychological evaluations, and why focusing on evidence-based behavior is more effective than diagnosis. Kelli shares what covert narcissistic traits can look like in family court and how parents can respond strategically while keeping ch...
May 23, 2025•1 hr 7 min
In this episode, Brook sits down with divorce coach Kate Anthony to unpack the mindsets that truly help during divorce, especially in high-conflict co-parenting situations. They discuss why emotional reactions can backfire, how to shift from wanting “fairness” to focusing on what’s legal and strategic, and the importance of boundaries and radical acceptance. With practical tips and compassionate advice, this episode is a valuable guide for anyone facing the challenges of separation. Learn more a...
Apr 25, 2025•1 hr
In this episode, Brook welcomes back Ross Rosenberg, author of The Human Magnet Syndrome and The Codependency Revolution, to dive deeper into the concept of Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD)—a groundbreaking reframing of codependency. Together, they unpack how early attachment trauma shapes relationship dynamics, leading many into repeated cycles of caretaking, emotional depletion, and entanglement with narcissistic partners. Brook and Ross explore the toxic push-pull that arises in high-conflic...
Apr 04, 2025•44 min
In this episode, Brook speaks with John Riley from Gentle Response about the impact of body language in high-conflict co-parenting. They explore the ACE method—Appearance, Communication, and Engagement—and how small adjustments in posture, tone, and presence can de-escalate tense situations, whether in court, mediation, or daily interactions. Brook and John also discuss the power of self-awareness and emotional regulation in reducing conflict. By staying composed and intentional, parents can shi...
Mar 20, 2025•53 min
In this episode, Brook Olsen welcomes conflict engagement specialist and bestselling author Dana Caspersen to discuss how conflict can be an opportunity for growth rather than a problem to avoid. Dana shares insights from her book Conflict Is an Opportunity and explores how our mindset and belief systems shape the way we handle difficult situations. They dive into the power of shifting attention, practical tools for breaking old conflict habits, and an exercise designed to help reframe conflict ...
Mar 06, 2025•46 min
In this episode, Brook welcomes Karen McEnany, The Good Divorce Coach, to discuss how setting the right foundation in divorce can significantly impact long-term outcomes. Divorce inherently carries conflict, but the way we navigate the early stages—our initial conditions—can determine whether the process will be calm, moderately contentious, or high-conflict. Brook and Karen explore how parents can approach divorce not as a battle, but as a transformation—one that prioritizes family over finance...
Feb 27, 2025•47 min
In this episode Brook and his guests Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry from the podcast Been There Got Out discuss the notion of High Conflict Detox. This is where a person/parent is stuck deeply in the habitual cycle of conflict and the nervous system maintains a high level of chronic activation. In order to break the cycle one must endure the discomfort of disengagement, develop a self awareness of the cycle in order to break free of the strong impulse to engage in and continue the conflict. This c...
Dec 30, 2024•8 min
In this episode Brook has guest Rich Carr author of Surprised: The Science and Art of Engagement. Rich brings a bright and engaging look at how we as humans respond or react to an outside stimulus and in understanding the workings of the various part of the brain dictate how you will engage in or disengage with that stimulus. In high conflict or for that matter any relational interaction, getting to the solution with the least amount of conflict and the optimal exploration is the goal. Rich goes...
Dec 13, 2024•14 min
In this episode Brook has esteemed guest, researcher, professor and author of the Polyvagal Theory, Dr. Steven Porges. Brook and Dr. Porges have a robust and educational conversation about how the vagus nerve influences the fear response, social connections and emotional regulations. It is important to understand the functional brain response in order to cognitively intervene for self regulation. This is an amazing conversation for anyone caught in high conflict or navigating life in general. Li...
Dec 11, 2024•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 304
In this episode Brook has guest Elaine Taylor-Klaus, Author and Co-Founder of Impact Parents. Brook and Elaine have a robust conversation about parenting a child that is neurodivergent and the challenges that go with the behaviors with being ADHD or on the spectrum of Autism. Deep in the discussion the conversation move in the direction of generational repetition and as adults having similar diagnoses as a window into the stigma and judgment of the labels. This is a great conversation regardless...
Dec 11, 2024•56 min•Ep. 303
In this episode Brook and his guests Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry from the podcast Been There Got Out discuss the notion of High Conflict Detox. This is where a person/parent is stuck deeply in the habitual cycle of conflict and the nervous system maintains a high level of chronic activation. In order to break the cycle one must endure the discomfort of disengagement, develop a self awareness of the cycle in order to break free of the strong impulse to engage in and continue the conflict. This c...
Dec 11, 2024•56 min•Ep. 302
In this episode Brook and his guest Derrick Chevalier discuss in depth the interconnection between negotiation in divorce and custody and first understanding what is on the playing field and who the players are first, before setting sail in the process. Getting yourself settled and using your unique knowledge of the situation in order to knit together the solution and the proper delivery system ie: Attorney, Mediator and such. By doing so getting to the center of the issues, such as finances and...
Dec 10, 2024•14 min
In this episode Brook and Michelle take another deeper dive into the subject of preparing for and dealing with the stresses of the holidays. When dealing with high conflict co-parentis it is important to have an open mindset of solving the problems out front and deep understanding of how you are stuck trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Challenging your beliefs about what is important vs what solves the problem and takes the children out of the chaos isn't easy. Listen to Brook and Miche...
Nov 08, 2024•40 min•Ep. 299
In this episode Brook has special guest Nicola Ranson L.C.S.W. Brook and Nicola discuss the concepts of Transference and Projection as pertain to working with a coach or therapist. These are always taking place in all relationships and unconsciously affect the interaction. When working with a coach or therapist it is important the coach or therapist is trained to consciously identify it and not get entangled with but use it as an informative process to uncover deeper solutions and processes. As ...
Oct 18, 2024•44 min•Ep. 298
In this Episode Brook has as his special guest Attorney Kelli Avallone in to discuss the frustrations that clients have when dealing with their attorneys as well as those frustrations of the attorney with their clients, in high conflict custody cases. The discussion explores the topics that can cause the frustration and how using a qualified coach can go a long way in keeping both the client and the attorney on a productive path that is efficient both financially and emotionally. Enjoy!!! You ca...
Sep 20, 2024•54 min•Ep. 297
In this episode Brook and Tony delve into the notion of how anxiety is one of if not the main driver of conflict and at the base understanding this and learning how to navigate the terrain of ones own anxiety is the avenue toward a high threshold of tolerance can make the difference in disengaging. The basis in the defensive response even in those with narcissism and other personality disorders can be found in navigating the internal sensation that comes with the anxiousness. Enjoy!!! Join "The ...
Sep 06, 2024•37 min•Ep. 296
In this episode Brook and Michelle discuss the narcissistic practice of email Carpet Bombing. This is the practice of incessantly sending repeated emails in order to hook you into an argument, to tell you are doing it wrong, to harass and demean you and to cause as much chaos as possible to get you to engage. This is an important concept to understand and to get the tools needed to navigate the barrage. Enjoy!!! You can follow Michelle on instagram @coachmichellesd. Join "The Disengagement Zone"...
Aug 23, 2024•39 min•Ep. 295
In this episode Brook has special guest Lisa Johnson from Been There Got Out to discuss how High Conflict Personalities can drive legal abuse in the family court system and how to organize yourself to be able to go it with out an attorney. Lisa brings some good information to a scary subject. You can contact Lisa through their website beentheregotout.com or follow them on instagram, Youtube and Facebook. Join "The Disengagement Zone" Membership! Gain access to: •daily value-packed emails •exclus...
Aug 09, 2024•59 min•Ep. 294
In this episode Brook and Michelle discuss the struggles that come with dealing with a ex that isn't on the same page and exhibits narcissist like behaviors and how to navigate keeping the kids out of the middle of ongoing conflict. Join "The Disengagement Zone" Membership! Gain access to: •daily value-packed emails •exclusive podcast episodes •free masterclasses •personalized recommendations for lawyers and therapists •live Q&A sessions •special discounts •meditation sessions •and fresh con...
Jul 26, 2024•54 min•Ep. 292
In this episode Brook Olsen and Kelli Avallone Join the Talking Parents team on their Co-Parenting and Coffee webinar to discuss Parallel Parenting and the use of Co-Parenting Apps. During High Conflict Co-Parenting and dealing with Narcissism and other personality disorders the use of Co-Parenting Apps like Talking Parents can be a useful tool in getting the conflict under control and tracking the conversation between parents. The use of such apps can all so help when going to court to show the...
Jul 19, 2024•1 hr 25 min•Ep. 293
In this episode of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast Brook and Tony discuss the difference between Capacity and Competency and that building of the container ( Capacity) has to happen first and then from there Competency can build. Join "The Disengagement Zone" Membership! Gain access to: •daily value-packed emails •exclusive podcast episodes •free masterclasses •personalized recommendations for lawyers and therapists •live Q&A sessions •special discounts •meditation sessions •and fresh...
Apr 19, 2024•33 min•Ep. 287
In this episode Brook speaks with Attorney Kelli Avallone about the in's and out's, Features and Down sides of teaching for "Hidden Assets". Finding Assets can be difficult and deciding to do so should be a "Return On Investment" inquiry. Enjoy!!!! You can reach Kelli at kelli@atty-avallone.com Join "The Disengagement Zone" Membership! Gain access to: •daily value-packed emails •exclusive podcast episodes •free masterclasses •personalized recommendations for lawyers and therapists •live Q&A ...
Apr 12, 2024•40 min•Ep. 286
In this episode Brook speaks with guest Forest Bronzon from Digital Detox. Forest is the CEO of Digital Detox whose goal and purpose is to educate parents, schools and children in the differing ways to use the digital environment in a healthy and connected manner. During divorce and high conflict custody battles it is often hard to navigate boundaries regarding electronics and rules are often different and opposite in each house. Forest discuss some of the ways to help children and parents navig...
Apr 05, 2024•51 min•Ep. 285
In this episode Brook has special guest David Forrestall CEO of SecurIT360 to talk about how to best secure you and you children from the ability of your Ex or for that matter anyone else from being able to track/cyberstalk. Mr. Forrestall give practical and useable information on securing you devices, social media, cloud based storage and applications. Also in the notes below he has provided links to a video he produced with the Cyber help line that will help guide you through many of the proce...
Mar 15, 2024•52 min•Ep. 282
In this episode Brook has special guest Divorce Financial Planner Justin Reckers to discuss the importance of understanding your financial future and having a professional helping you map it out. Enjoy!!! You can contact Justin Reckers at https://wellspringdivorce.com/san-diego/ Join "The Disengagement Zone" Membership! Gain access to: •daily value-packed emails •exclusive podcast episodes •free masterclasses •personalized recommendations for lawyers and therapists •live Q&A sessions •specia...
Oct 20, 2023•48 min•Ep. 263
In this episode Brook and Michelle discuss the variety of ways we get stuck in power differential when trying to navigate financial and custody fights, both old and new. The stickiness of the battle or the lack of information, outside forces often keeps us from finding off ramps to the fight that keep the children stuck and you from moving on. There or costs and benefits to each approach and the options all need to be investigated early so you can direct the solutions. Enjoy!!!! You can follow M...
May 30, 2023•49 min•Ep. 242
In this episode Brook and Tony have a deep discussion about the responsibility of parents to take notice of where they get lost in the chaos of the high conflict situations the arise during divorce and custody battles and sometimes simply separation. This chaos leaves the child having to deal with the sense that no one is paying attention to their experience and they have deal with that alone. Parents need to make attuning to the child a priority and noticing where they, the parent get lost in t...
May 19, 2023•38 min•Ep. 241
In this episode Brook talks about the need to periodically stop and reflect on where we have been, the journey we have traveled to this point and the mistakes and success we have experienced. This is an important part of our growth that takes us away from our own narcissism and allows us to see the world through the eyes of others and to see ourselves in a clearer light. The reflective process is also about where we have been distracted from our goals and helps us move more effectively into the ...
May 12, 2023•20 min•Ep. 240
In this episode Brook and Tony take another look at parenting and the importance of attainment with your children and the special attention that is essential to building as strong sense of self and self esteem in you kids. This Episode is directed at all parents not just those in High Conflict and not just a parallel parenting model. Please share this one with other parents you know as I think it will help wake up new thoughts in the direction you take in your parenting journey. Enjoy!!! Join "T...
Apr 28, 2023•47 min•Ep. 238
