Before we get going, a quick word about our fellow radiotopia show, This Day in Esoteric Political History. It's a long title but a short show. And as you may have noticed, this is an election year, a very, very strange election year. Luckily, history can help provide some context. Throughout the year, this day is doing a number of special election-related series that will help you get through this history-making cycle.
They're doing theme weeks on debates, third parties, conventions, political advertising, October surprises and more. All alongside their regular collection of fascinating and informative stories from the past. This day is hosted by Jody Avergan, formerly of 538 and 30 for 30. And two actual historians, Kelly Carter Jackson of Wellesley and Nicole Hemmer of Vanderbilt. Stories are serious, silly, from recent history and from the way past. This show is short, it's fun, it'll make you think.
Check out this day in Esoteric Political History wherever you get your podcasts. From Mermaid Palace and Radiotopia, welcome to the heart. I'm Caitlin Prest. Okay, guys, I am here to give you a little update, a little window. We're doing the time travel now. The journey that you're about to go on with me begins in late October when I sent a belated birthday message to my friend, Mehiga. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.
A few days later, my friend, Ollie, is texting on a group thread, asking for people to buy eSim cards for his journalist friend. This is the first moment that I know that something has happened. The second moment is when Mehiga sends me a message back. It was and is very strange to celebrate with the backdrop of what's happening in Palestine and the Nali Kim. I mean, we were just not in the mood for anything. October 20th, 25% of homes in Gaza have been damaged.
I opened up Al Jazeera for the first time in 10 years. Hundreds of Palestinians displaced. And I let it make me cry. They believed it was one of the last remaining places of safety from Israeli bombardment. There were no weapons or anything in the church. Children are missing. We can't find them. We're still unable to find them. Enough is enough. We are having time. October 27th, 59, healthcare facilities have been paid. Natalie and I have started a system of a down cover band.
We all agreed that I am the best candidate to perform the role of Surge Tanka. The lead singer of this iconic Armenian heavy metal band. It's also time to break down all the walls of hypocrisy around the world with all genocide's known and unknown, accepted or not accepted. Surge Tankin's words were the soundtrack to my teen years. I would scream them at the top of my lungs, driving way too fast down the dirt roads of my country upbringing.
Making bows that I would commit my life to changing the things that Surge was so angry about. With hope that maybe one day, if we worked hard enough, things would be different. Now it's later and I'm singing these exact same words. Words that you wrote about wars around the world funded by the US. Manufacturing consent is the name of the game. And I'm forced to reflect the bottom line is money. Nobody gives a f**k. I'm what the f**k I've been doing for the last 20 years.
There I've made good on my vow. If his words apply to what's happening now, the nothing has changed. Creating death. I can't stop thinking about it. I make a new vow that I won't stop thinking about it. The very first step I take is to call Rosa. I don't know what to do, Rosa. The bestie that I met in Polly's side who actually finished the degree and became a legit humanitarian with a UN passport and everything. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to tell people to do.
I'm supposed to put out an episode tomorrow and I don't know how to put an episode out without talking about it, but I also don't know what to say about it. The end. Oh, Caitlin. It's always nice to hear your voice. I woke up that morning. It wasn't even the full sentence. I just said Hamas has declared and then ellipses. It sounded out loud to Doria as I got. But they've called a third into Fata. It's been getting worse and worse and worse. Just the sheer logistics of getting aid in.
That's very controlled by Israel. There's no negotiation. What is impactful. I think free. I mean, it's a voice. No, they're a fifth. They make the processing genocide episode. When I send the episode out to everybody to get feedback to make sure they're okay with how I'm using their voice. I think it's very beautifully done. I think it's just important to acknowledge that. My friend, Ali Dejani, sends me some notes. How the West is feeling right now. Less important.
People in this part of the world just need to be given that moment to feel because they're going through a very, very traumatic experience. Taking a moment at the beginning, maybe, just to say... For all of you out there, we're Palestinian. I rewrite the beginning of the episode. My heart is with you. First and foremost. I think what I also really want to say to you, Caitlin and stuff. People who are talking are just like missing the fucking point. I just genuinely really appreciate it.
You can solve it. I personally thank you. My sister texts me and tells me that her boyfriend, who I consider to be family, a man who I believe is more progressive and has more integrity than I do, says that he thinks that genocide is too strong a word. It's the first moment of realizing how deeply ingrained pro-Israel ideology goes into regular Jewish families, progressive Jewish people. I create the art for the episode. All of it says processing genocide.
I change the name of the episode for processing genocide to processing Palestine. Not because I'm afraid he's going to be mad at me, but because I want him to listen to it. November 6th. More than 10,000 in Gaza have been killed. Fans write saying, I can't believe my favorite podcaster. I'm so disappointed. Prospective work relationships. I like to me saying, after looking at your website, I see that our values are too different for us to talk about working together. I wish you the best.
November 15th. I'll shift our hospital as destroyed. I'm going to do something that I've never done in my entire life, which is post angry messages on my social media. I start out by just reposting stuff. I'm reposting stuff. I'm posting stuff. I'm reposting stuff. Even if it doesn't fit in with my artist's thought, the voice that I usually use on my Instagram. But then, every single day, I'm posting stuff. I'm posting stuff in November 24th. A quote unquote humanitarian pause.
Are any Thanksgiving orphans in Toronto having a Thanksgiving dinner tonight? Will you invite me? And eventually, I get the courage. There's no one to have Thanksgiving with. To say things with my own mouth. Also, on this colonial holiday, please don't stop thinking about Palestine. Don't go back to sleep, guys. Don't go back to sleep. And a lot of the posts, I'm really just talking to myself. It's so easy to go back to sleep, and I almost went back to sleep.
But I have a friend who pulled me out. Lots of people have been expressing some disappointment around the really black and white kind of clear cut position that I've been taking. Don't let apathy rise. I often do take a very humanizing all sides approach. Friendly at Pabani, she's the one who pulled me out of the sleeping. The actions around us. Don't let even the complication speak. Some feelings about this. That you might have. Power is a monopoly on legitimate use of violence.
Don't let that stop you. Problematizing the rebellion that has formed as a response doesn't feel right. Why wouldn't we call the Israeli military terrorists? Because they have a monopoly on the legitimate use of violence. The pressure needs to be on Israel to stop harming the Palestinian people. So there's no need for rebellion anymore. I record about one post per week, talk about colonialism today at dinner. Grappling with the oppressed oppressor identity. It was a concept by Rachel Ricketts.
It is work to be done. You disagree with colonialism because then you automatically have to disagree with the president. But it's work to be done privately as you publicly support. Discuss. Bring it up. Take a stand. All of the recordings that I do, all the videos that I make. You gotta get over it. I post about 20%. That's not going to go over well. I'm never going to put that on the internet. So pods is the thing. Get buddies. Get buddies.
I kind of could use some Toronto buddies because my friend Alia Pavani is very busy being a person. I joined a neighborhood, what's happening, knowing how to do real political work. So I don't want to bother her to mind here again. And my favorite place to be in my bed. It just so happens that I'm in a very depressed moment in my life. And I say that I'm going to do stuff and then I just don't show up.
Things in my calendar and then I don't go to my house, like actually like crossing the threshold from the inside of my house to the outside of my house where people are actually impossible for me at this time. I'm working at my bed desk. Because I can't leave my apartment, I decide that I'm going to paint a message onto my windows. I paint backwards on my windows and when you're painting letters across a limited space you run out of green areas. So I have to see.
My final game is almost like a child painted it. When I see the results of my labor, this took me about three hours to do. It's not great, it doesn't look very good. It's not really definitely not like I'm going to miss that small amount of humiliation that I experience every time I see that I've done the message. And let the message be enough. The genocide's been going on, it's continued.
A friend of mine who's been really active and speaking up on social media, Axel Cacoutier, sends me a global call from a theater based in Ramallah. Ashtar Theater. They're asking theaters around the world to put on the Gaza monologues. This feels like my zone. I am actually unbelievably really. I can do this. I go into Photoshop, I create a special mermaid palace, Gaza monologues. Social media. I invite people to come to my studio, the mermaid, the monologues out loud.
Not as a performance, but just to read them. Nobody shows up. I write to the theater and tell them at this other stage that we call the theater of the mall. A.K.A. Radio, A.K.A. Podcasts. Would they be interested in me transforming these monologues into thing that I've spent my entire life getting good at. They say that that would be great. They would love that. And then I realize, suddenly, that I feel hasn't.
Not only can I personally not afford to take on a huge project that would be volunteer based. I just don't feel good about asking people to do things for free. December 28th. More than 20,000 people in Gaza have been killed. It's New Year's Eve and I'm at a farmhouse with a bunch of friends. It's the first year that I've been invited.
I want to be invited again, but I can't stop myself from bringing up what's happening to every single person, talking about it, and going to bed, wondering if I made everyone uncomfortable every single night that I'm there. January 11th. South Africa presents a genocide case against Israel to the International Court of Justice. Israel and the United States deny it. Officially accusing Israel of genocide. You know, why didn't Canada do that?
Thinking we're going to call our political representatives right now today. You know, calling a representative, not that easy for me. I have trouble with calling, emailing, anything to do with calling. If you also struggle with these things, this is my invitation for you, viewer, I'm starting from square one. I have no idea how to call. I have never known how to call. I have no clue. So I'm just going, I'm opening up Google. Dear Serge Tankins Instagram.
I write to Serge Tankin, asking him, begging him. I know that Serge doesn't see this, to say something about what's going on. To you, person who checks it for him. My message is important. Okay, so Ontario government's, Ontario government as a voice for genocide in his own words, all genocides recognized and unrecognized, known and unknown. We need him now intact. I'm not going to admit. We need his voice speaking the truth again. Oh, hey. Here we go.
Use our new tool to phone your MP, demand a ceasefire. A diehard pay. There we go. Name Caitlin Prest. Feel out the fields below. Okay, I'm filling out the fields below. This is a great website, cjpm.org. Okay. I'm doing it. It's happening. Click the call, clicking. It's full. Elbox is full. Okay. I'm going to try again later. This website, it really gives you all the stuff you need to know, but it doesn't look like it's up to date.
You know, it's saying more than 8,000 Palestinians have already been killed in those acts. Actually, like it's like 22,000. Oh, God. Okay. January 26th, the U.S. suspends its funding for the UN Agency for Palestinian refugees. Other donor countries follow suit. An artist named Yasmin Mansuri has volunteered to help me out with Mermaid Palace and the heart. Waiting for me at a coffee shop. I'm late because I have to listen to one more system of a down-zone.
The radio topia press release is going out on Monday. They need me to approve the copy for another round of reruns. I have a light bulb moment. There was a philanthropist who gave me a lot of money to start Mermaid Palace years ago. I will ask this person for money to do this. Oh, my God. I'll follow up with Ashtar Theater who said they were already interested.
This philanthropist did send me a text saying that they heard the Processing Palace 9 episode and they wanted to debrief about it, but I didn't really know with that. Man, I start to doubt myself. I start to wonder if I'm being serious. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. This might be more than I can. I don't know. I don't know. And then I walked into the coffee shop and I told Yasmin about it. I said, what? What?
And also listen to the system of a down-song or at the Lyriot Society. Don't you find that they'd speak exactly to what's happening right now? You don't want to go down in history with the sadstadge of liberty. I would add a generation that I didn't agree with. Where most people would start to feel really stressed out by my manic proposition, Yasmin's eyes light up. She begins to glow and she says that she's so in. On the heels of Yasmin's enthusiasm, I throw together a small budget.
I ask myself if I'm prepared to risk alienating a wealthy fan. One of the most important sources of funding I've ever had in my life and I shrug my shoulders and say, fuck it. I tell radio topia that I will know by Monday. I write to Ashtar Theatre following up months later asking them if they are still down. It's Friday and on Sunday. But the philanthropist has written back three words. Sure, sounds good. I get a yes, a yes, and a yes. Except the network makes me take out the word genocide.
And I don't bother them about it. I just let it go. And then I start freaking out and start thinking about how and how I'm going to do justice to this issue. I'm not a reporter. I'm not a historian, I'm not an artist who makes elaborate, serialized audio arts with people that I'm intimately close to about our intimate close relationships. I am out of my depth. It is without question. The first thing that I do is email Alia who just so happens to be an organizer and an excellent audio artist.
I call Yasmin, who's enthusiasm as part of the reason why this is even happening. And then it's February and it's time for me to go to Italy for the only job that I have lined up this year. I'm at the Grand piano. On the week of what is known as my all-time favorite holiday, Valentine's Day, the day of celebrating love. It used to be my favorite holiday. I'm in a cab. For me it's a day about love general. You know, love all the different kinds.
On my way to celebrate with the man who has asked me to be his Valentine, Alia DeGoni. He came all the way from Amsterdam and other friends who were in processing ballastine also came. I looked down at my phone and realized that I'm too late to send a message that I had recorded for him. I'm not too late. This is a not too late friendship time or our Valentine's Day. It's regaza and I know I don't say it right. I say it like North American person.
It's like when white people do Spanish accent and Nicaragua and stuff. You know what I mean? I don't know. There's a reason to take a different sentence. I know all ears and I will touch. It's been almost four months since October and I don't know how he's feeling about what's going on. I don't know if he's thinking about it every day or if he's trying not to think about it. I don't know what it feels like to be their generation Palestinian and watching this happen from afar.
Yeah, it's about a series that I'm doing coming up and I want it this tomorrow. I want a descendant voice memo so that you would have time to think about it. I don't want to assume. I don't even know how you're feeling. I wanted to record a very long and convoluted voice memo that he could listen to and process on his own time and figure out what he really felt about it instead of feeling the pressure of.
I shrugged my shoulders and accept the fact that the moment to ask him about this in the way that feels right, it might not come. I arrive at the Airbnb where Ali has procured two bottles of fancy organic wine and a big mountain of fancy Italian cheese. We hook up the Bluetooth speaker and put on some tunes and the first thing that Ali puts on is revolutionary Palestinian hip hop. We spend the first hour having him translate the Arabic into English for me, line by line.
And then we spend the rest of our Valentine's Day talking about what I believe is the most important love to celebrate the kind of love that makes it so that you care about people far away that you haven't met yet. Next week is basically going to be deciding on the legato of the occupation. What day do you know? 19. I forgot that my phone was still recording from the cab. It's in my pocket and you can hear it kind of shuffling around. Sorry.
They will basically decide whether or not Israel has the legal right to basically say you have a right to defend yourself. If the occupation is legal, God forbid, then the resistance is invalid. Okay, so I think is the international court of justice? Basically, kind of like the UN, it's like the legal thing that basically decides what are the rules of the world? Right, exactly. And international love.
But the problem is, I remember studying this in political science, but they don't have an execution. Exactly, exactly. The execution arm is the security council. Which is, what do they do? Oh boy. I'm like, where is Rosa? She knows I'm all about the security council. They have the veto power. Yeah. Right, right, right, right. Oh shit. Are they the ones that said they veto the ceasefire at the beginning? Mm-hmm. Well, the US, the captain veto again. Right, right, right, right.
Okay, so tell me about the players. Tell me about the players. Like, so- No, there's no players. Like, basically Indonesia, like, Palestine via Indonesia, because Palestine isn't like an actual member state, full member state of the United, shamefully. Yeah, shamefully. Yeah. As basically put forward this decision to the general assembly and the general assembly raised it to die C.J. to say, hey, can you give us your thoughts about this? Because, like, we clearly see a violation of rights.
And so you tell us what you think of this occupation. Mm-hmm. And if they are, if it is a legal occupation, then you are still, like, regardless. Yeah. Even if you are, like, legally, the occupier of the 142 people, you're then, you get it for a five-day halt, responsible for their protection, so you are genocide-ing them. Yeah, exactly. One week. I'm happy that we're talking about this. I've been feeling pretty alone. I know that I should be. It's so isolating and unique.
Having a hard time, like, reconciling this with my friendships. Yeah, I mean, too. It's really hard. Maybe a horror. Why aren't you saying anything? I know. Are you, like, anti-dance-up? Yeah. Like, it's just simple stuff. But. Do you have a picture of that? No. Why? What do you need? I can go. You're my Valentine. I'm on your service. Um. Oh. Wait, so is Rosa coming? Or is she's coming tomorrow? No. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Oh my god. Wait, wait. One last thing.
I'd rather if she pick up something and then I can stay here and we can keep talking about Palestine for as long as possible. Is Rosa coming? Rosa is on a Valentine's Day date with her new girlfriend, Dorine. And she's come to see me perform all the way from Athens, her new home. She just moved there from Beirut. I decide that I'm going to spend all the money that I made doing the performance, going to Athens to see Rosa's new life.
Would I give you a hop to rate this, be recorded, and maybe just speak about what you've read? What's the difference, like, about like, right? February 29th. More than 30,000 have been killed. They talk about martyrs and what this meant in the context. I get to spend more time with Dorine. Many Arab would, to a certain extent. We talk about the project. And Lebanese person for my age could relate to bombs going off and you're not going to school.
Yeah. The Athens actually has a lot of Arabs from Palestinians all the way to Gulf to Oshawa. The anarchists they were. My last night in Athens, a Palestinian visual artist and filmmaker, comes all the way from her house in the anarchist village to the sea to meet me. I woke up in the morning wanting to reach out to you, but of course we drank much more after you left. So here I am the day after. So deeply, profoundly, eternally honored that you came out.
To somewhere that was inconvenient for you to have dinner with us. And then with Gaza Monologues. I'm wondering, would you be willing to record one? Hi dear Kathleen, how are you? I'm so happy to send you this message. And yes, I would like to have a monologue. And yes, I would like to talk in your show and your radio. Definitely. It's all yes. So I get the courage to finally send Ali my long and convoluted message asking if he would be down to record a monologue. He sends me one back.
Hi, how's it going? Happy to record. I'm not necessarily comfortable sharing my own story only because it's people who are there that need to be highlighted. So it looks like I will be in Amsterdam next weekend. And I spend whatever I have left of the money that I made going to Amsterdam. I mean, Amsterdam, it's very early. I did see very much. Oh my god, there's a boat. Oh my god, there's a boat. Look at that fucking boat. Look at that fucking boat. Am I going to go on a boat?
Am I going to go on a boat? Am I going to go on a boat? I didn't go on a boat. I did record the very first monologue with Ali. And I returned home to Toronto. I'm important to talk to her because she's now working with Palestinian refugees. And the first thing that I do is hire the Palestinian filmmaker and visual artist who needs to remain anonymous for reasons that you will hear about in her episode. So I think I'll give her a call, okay? She introduces me to Aula Shahadi.
It's very difficult to get a visit to the UK. And now I'm saying, imagine if you are British, applying for a Palestinian visa, what that complicated questions will be? A comedian from Janine. And I say the first question is, who invented hummus? So this is very... The second question is, if you see an Israeli tank coming towards you, what should you do? A, have a cup of tea. B. Sahara Abunadi, an embroidery artist in her cousins, Amsa, Ahmed, Tarnim.
In the last part, you can count how many cows they destroyed. But in this war, you can count how many cows they didn't destroyed. I record with all of them, and then I call Yasmin. It's kind of an all-hands-on-down situation. And Ali. The specific ask is to do things that materially affect the state of Israel. Love. And we said to work, editing it all together, into what you're about to hear. The next series on the heart. Great love. Readings and reflections on Ashtar theaters, Gaza Monologues.
June, 2024. 37,700 people in Gaza have been killed. 1,100 and 39 Israeli people have been killed. I hope that you will follow me on this journey. To Jordan, to Nazareth, to Lebanon, to Janine, to Iran, to North America, to Gaza. Now it's July 8th. We are a week late, releasing this episode in the trailer, which is going to come right after this episode. I highly recommend that you click on it. It's July 9th. And there's a new report out saying that, I don't know, it's from a... From the Lancet.
L-A-N-C-E-T, or Lancet study. The total deaths are actually closer to 180,000, not 39, not almost 40, 180,000. Listening, opening your heart, it might seem like a small thing to do. But it's a big thing to do. And so, I thank you for doing it with me. Stay with us. And now, it's July 19th. We're extremely late, releasing this episode. But today, a tiny corner of this senseless world made sense. The ICJ ruling came out. The occupation is not legal. The resistance is valid.
Restitution has been ordered. Return of land assets, cultural property, evacuation of settlements, dismantling of settlements, return of Palestinians, cease all settlement activity, compensation. Obviously, as I remembered slash learned in this episode, we know that there is no execution, no crime, of the ICJ. The security council is, the state has a veto. So we'll see what happens. But all the more reason for everybody in all the countries who are repped on the security council to get loud now.
To get loud now. To get loud now, right now. Right now. Right today. There's no way that you calling your reps could possibly be more ineffectual and more embarrassing than the attempt that I shared with you today. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow. And you guys can try with me. Bye So, this rough steep wasn't the only way to get demonized and he appeared in an accounted off swoops invitation. This time in the dark.