When a man with a mysterious past beams onto DS9 to see a doctor, the only treatment he gets are accommodations in the brig. But when the crew begins to doubt the person’s true identity, Kira must come to grips with what she really wants out of their relationship. Which DS9 character would you FMK? What are the sexual ethics of the holosuites? Is there a best pre-murder meal to order from a take-out window? It’s the episode that has no lollipop b-story!
Feb 12, 2018•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 196
When a Klingon’s dying breath is to proclaim victory, the crew get dramatic about it. But while Odo becomes even more perplexed than normal about his colleague’s behavior, they’re cutting the phone lines and reenacting the death throes of a dying civilization. Should colleges and universities divest in Valeria? Is O’Brien going to have to get used to doing it in front of other people? Where is Quark in the cum hierarchy? It’s the episode where we go “full tube” to preserve our privacy.
Feb 05, 2018•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 195
When Lwaxana Troi visits DS9, she’s not the only diplomat causing problems for the crew. But when Odo turns to putty in her hands, it becomes a moment of truth for the both of them. Are "social charisma" and "work charisma" different things? Does “picnic” mean grabbing something other than a basket? What is a Yamato Truther? It’s the episode NOT sponsored by a garbage can company!
Jan 29, 2018•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 194
When characters from imagination and fantasy start arriving without a ship, it ruins bedtime for Deep Space Nine. But when llamas turn into bangers, the crew’s dreams turn into nightmares. Does Writer Salad make a filling meal? What’s Jake going to do with that baseball bat? Will Adam ever learn how to pronounce ‘denouement?’ It’s the drunken episode that nobody asked for (and the episode that will probably get us kicked off Maximum Fun).
Jan 22, 2018•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 193
When Nog and Jake inherit a boat load of a Cardassian condiment, they propose a deal where anything more than nothing should be a win. But as Major Kira oversees the construction (and then the destruction) of an out of the way Bajoran Pizza Kitchen franchise, her gamble on diplomacy has her losing her shirt. Is Morn packing a hammer? What ever happened to “Genital Knees”? Is there anything higher than empire? It’s the episode that dares you to eat a sauce you don’t understand!
Jan 15, 2018•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 192
When Sisko is presented with a perfect opportunity to redeem his reputation as a diplomat, he fails to recognize it for what it is. Meanwhile, Chief O’Brien is trying to keep a safe distance between himself and the doctor and failing miserably. How many clown shoes fit in the average bag? Is this old man set in his ways, or is the whole town? What’s the problem with Jake Sisko? It’s the episode with sub-Nagilum-level effects.
Jan 08, 2018•1 hr 14 min•Ep. 191
When Kai Opaka makes an unscheduled visit to DS9, Commander Sisko, Major Kira and Dr. Bashir take her off the station as soon as possible. But when their Winnebago crashes onto “Planet War,” one of them will be unable to leave. Do humans in the 24th century have super eyesight? Does the promenade have a Claire’s? What’s the greatest amount of emotion depicted in Star Trek? It’s the episode that’s grandfathered into immortality.
Jan 01, 2018•1 hr•Ep. 190
When a pair of twins use their prominently placed keisters to smuggle an egg onboard the station, a deal brokered by Quark goes sideways and a man is killed. But when the prisoner shows Odo his necklace, the shape-shifter has a chain reaction. Is Lieutenant Toast a character that exists to save work doe the payroll department? Is this episode meant to be a stirring tribute to the makeup designer’s deceased father? Are these guys gum commercial twins or beer commercial twins? It’s the episode whe...
Dec 25, 2017•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 189
When an extremely droopy Tony Robbins convenes a group of Ferengi economic minds, scheming for profit in the Gamma Quadrant is their top priority. But when he chooses Quark as his successor, the bartender is thrust from his comfortable place behind the scenes into a spotlight that proves dangerous. Where are the eyes supposed to go? Why would a Vulcan steal homework from a Ferengi? What are the chances that Rom has a nice apartment? It’s the episode that turns on Find My Friends!
Dec 18, 2017•52 min•Ep. 188
When diplomats from the Gamma Quadrant head straight past a good premise, they wind up in Quark’s bar. But when the Ferengi act like Ferengi, the stakes are raised for the staff of DS9 in the worst way possible. Are the Wadi elves or sharks? Is O’Brien just going to spend the rest of Season 1 on an air mattress at his mother-in-law’s house? Is Major Kira our emotional proxy? It’s the episode that is paid for with swag from a natural history museum gift shop.
Dec 11, 2017•57 min•Ep. 187
When Dr. Bashir witnesses the death of a dangerous criminal, the officer in charge of his capture presupposes that...maybe he’s alive? But when a new lieutenant has some fresh ideas w/r/t station security, Odo struggles to ensure their working relationship doesn’t get burnt. When is a super dumb Bela Lugosi voice ever a good idea? How long should you have to wait before dispensing corporal punishment? Is it a good time to start killing characters? It’s the episode that ravaged us all!
Dec 04, 2017•52 min•Ep. 186
When some sneaky aliens decide to out-creep Dr. Bashir, they attempt to abduct Jadzia. But when the trial begins, it’s unclear if she’s an ankylosaur or a floor mat. Can Odo be Christmas Lights? Is Klaestron 4 a “mask and gloves” planet? How do you direct Nana Visitor? It’s the episode with all the great older ladies.
Nov 27, 2017•54 min•Ep. 185
When Vash returns from the Gamma Quadrant with a sack full of toys, she brings back with her a person who knows when she’s asleep and when she’s awake. But when an auction for the quadrant’s hottest item starts causing bangers all over DS9, it’ll take more than a six finger discount to end the bidding. What kinds of holosuite programs does O’brien use to unwind after work? Have we seen ear diddling before? Is Vash more of a “cowboy” or “medium single” type? It’s an episode that was written for t...
Nov 20, 2017•53 min•Ep. 184
When the station encounters its first Gamma Quadrant alien, they send the handyman down to make First Contact. But when the alien’s pursuers show up, starfleet is forced to relax its policy about gunfights on the Promenade. Is #MeToo going to still be a thing hundreds of years from now? Why does that beverage cart have googly eyes? Is the Predator canonical Flash Gordon? It’s the episode where we become each other’s extravagance buddies.
Nov 13, 2017•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 183
When the inhabitants of DS9 come down with a case of flop-sweat aphasia, O'Brien has to be thinking that the sexy part comes next. But when the word salad is followed by a deadly main course, Kira turns to kidnapping as a last resort. Does the Federation have enough people to fix DS9? Is it possible to hug the sick out of someone? Can Odo turn himself into cat litter? It's the episode that does not enjoy a gentle touch.
Nov 06, 2017•1 hr•Ep. 182
When a Barnaby lookalike gets a decidedly unhappy ending on the holodeck, Constable Odo becomes the prime suspect. But when the kids of Deep Space Nine use the distraction to do pranks around the station, it’s up to a very unlikely character to teach them a lesson. What do we do about movie talkers? What’s the difference between where a Bajoran keeps their genitals and where they put them? Is Odo’s relationship history more problematic than Geordi’s? It’s the episode that’s pro Vichy Bubble.
Oct 30, 2017•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 181
When Bashir makes friends with a man who is obviously a spy, the subterfuge, like the tailoring, goes way over his head. But when 90’s hair Bajorans start importing suspicious cargo, the crew will have to take risks far greater than hiding in a changing booth after store hours. Who’s your hall pass from the cast? Has DS9 overcompensated for the potted plant issue? What are Lursa and B’etor hiding with their boobs? It’s the episode where we really strain the portmanteau.
Oct 23, 2017•53 min•Ep. 180
When a reluctant and somewhat recalcitrant Ben Sisko is given command of the worst neighborhood in Starfleet, a tone is set for a very different kind of Trek. But when the locals identify him as potentially playing a major role in their religion, the commander's commitment to his job comes roaring back. Is the space station a metaphor for urban Detroit? Did someone tell Nana Visitor that she was going to be the star of the series? Is Picard looking at Sisko’s junk? It’s the episode where we trad...
Oct 16, 2017•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 179
When Star Trek: The Next Generation trots out its greatest ambassador for a special retrospective episode, it's only fair that The Greatest Generation does the same. But when the hosts start arguing over the best and worst episodes of the series, it could take more than an intergalactic cheerleader to put their relationship back together. Where did Frakes get his wardrobe? Are Members Only jackets cool again? Is this educational programming? It's the episode that takes advantage of what pretty l...
Oct 09, 2017•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 178
The Greatest Discovery Episode 1: Oopsie-Daisy Murder When a precursor to the Argus Array gets a hole poked in it, the Federation sends its B-team: the USS SHEzhou. But when executive officer Michael Burnham pokes a hole in a nearby Klingon, the situation escalates quickly. Is Sarek the only Vulcan teacher? Has Georgiou given Burnham too much latitude? Is Saru the COB of this episode? It’s the episode that lights a beacon that can be seen across the galaxy.
Oct 07, 2017•45 min•Ep. 177
When Captain Picard starts slipping through time, his sanity is called into question. But when Q shows up to blame him for the creation of a space-time butthole, Picard must unify the crews of his past, present and future in order to save humanity. Does Star Trek First Contact bubble bath have an expiration date? Does Worf have a holodeck eating disorder? What does all this have to do with Joel Schumacher’s Batman films? It’s the episode that’s the end of one thing, and the beginning of another!...
Oct 02, 2017•1 hr 21 min•Ep. 176
When Lieutenant Ro is sent on a mission to infiltrate the Maquis, it’s just another late-Season 7 daddy-issues episode. But when the conflict between her loyalty to the Federation and her hatred of Cardassians comes to the fore, Picard doubles down on his inappropriate workplace behavior. Is Beverly the ship’s greatest disease vector? Are Starfleet officers the narcs of the Alpha Quadrant? How are we supposed to sympathize with Bajorans when all they eat are wraps? Everybody knows that the Feder...
Sep 27, 2017•1 hr 14 min•Ep. 175
When a clump of crazy straws sets up shop inside the wiring of the Enterprise, the ship’s holodeck programs become self aware. But when the characters begin to endanger the ship, they attempt to take back control by playing by their rules. Who's got time for canapés? Is there something going on between Jellico and Nechayev? Does the Parrot Army have anything to do with any of this? It's the episode where we finally decide what Riker's favorite sexual position is.
Sep 25, 2017•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 174
When a mysterious probe delivers a holographic Daimon Bok to the Enterprise, it’s a revenge served lukewarm. But when Picard discovers he may have unknowingly sired a son, the ship drops everything to save the beautifully coiffed boy. Is “farmer” the most eccentric job you can have? Does Picard need to start keeping a loaded DustBuster under his pillow? Why stop work on an amazing invention five minutes before you’re done? It’s the episode where Maury Povich takes a turn as co-host.
Sep 20, 2017•55 min•Ep. 173
When Worf and Alexander take a field trip to a Klingon renaissance fair, an assassination attempt is foiled, and an old family friend appears to help. But when Alexander decides not to go to Klingon summer camp, his mentors must face the possibility that he'll never become the warrior they want him to be. Are Eric's balloons here to stay? What does a Klingon scented candle smell like? Which one is Lursa and which one is B'Etor? It's the episode that knows where to get the raw materials.
Sep 18, 2017•59 min•Ep. 172
When Admiral Nechayev comes aboard, Picard would almost rather be relieved of command than carry out her orders. The mission coincides with Wesley’s Spring Break, and he’s eager to do some sweet bong rips to get out of the funk he’s been in. Who's the George of TNG? Why not deploy the Paul Sorvino Solution? Was anybody woke in the 90s? It’s the episode with all the pan flute. COOL!
Sep 13, 2017•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 171
When Worf fires a photon torpedo that goes off course, Picard and Data go on a road trip to retrieve it. Meanwhile, Dr. Crusher’s cure for Lt. Barclay’s flu ends up being a step in the wrong direction. How many arboretums are there? Is Nurse Ogawa’s relationship moving too fast? Is Kevin coming to Deep Space Nine? It’s the episode that’s a really beautiful tableau.
Sep 11, 2017•49 min•Ep. 170
When a nacelle engineer totally puts himself into his work, Worf and Troi are tasked with investigating the circumstances of his death. But when Troi starts displaying some similarly troubling feelings, it's up to Worf to keep her from going over the edge. Is LiveJournal a compulsory part of a Starfleet career? Where's the boldest place to kiss someone for the first time? Are there special phasers for the elderly? It's the episode that's only slightly better than Ben Affleck's first film!
Sep 06, 2017•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 169
When Data’s attempt to become a sculptor coincides with the ship encountering a rogue comet, eldritch emanations from the heavenly body cause him to take his exploration of an ancient art form way too far. Now the Entrepreneur is in ruins, and the only way to save it is for Picard to go incognito. Did we just witness an ice life genocide? Did Worf and Geordi doom the ship by leaving a torpedo next to an open flame in engineering? Should Picard just blow up the damn ship? It’s the episode that pa...
Sep 04, 2017•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 168
When Data crash lands on "Planet Renaissance," he starts performing feats of strength and sells dangerous cargo to the blacksmith there. Meanwhile, Counselor Troi studies for a test where her answers have life-threatening consequences. Who's ever seen Space Rangers? What is the loaf of the week? Should we change the show's logo? It's the episode that suffers from mechanical amnesia.
Aug 30, 2017•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 167
