Boy Talk: I FOUND him on 'Are we dating the same guy?'

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The only person ruining this moment, sir, is you. And he doesn't want to waste his time. OH MY GOOOOO Sorry, it just came out. Starting the vibes high this Wednesday. I'm not actually tired. No, I'm feeling really good actually. I'm feeling really good, but I couldn't sleep last night. I really my brain was too alive last night. Like I could almost feel my heart was like pumping last night. I was like I can't I need to like I can't wind down. How do I wind down?

Yeah. Do your books not wind you down? I thought that was a whole premise. Usually, yeah. But like I was I was reading and I was like, I'm usually fast asleep by now. Like I usually don't really make it through a page or two in the evening. Have you had a coffee or anything in the afternoon? No.

Not good news. Well I was asleep. I was just like wired. I mean, don't get me wrong. I was asleep by like eleven. Yeah, okay. But I was like, God, this has taken me a while to drift off. I mean it's eleven. I know, but we live very differently. Absolutely. We have different body clocks. Absolutely. When you're aware that you're not drifting off.

Yeah, well And I was like, I'm usually drifting off by this point. And you need to not get to that point where you're stressing about these Not drifting off, yeah. And then I was like, Oh, I was supposed to get it and I yeah. Yeah. Just couldn't shit my brain off. Yeah. Yeah, that's a shame. Go. Well you should have put a calm story on.

Yeah. Because I've been putting like a podcast on. Yeah. You know, if that if your m if my mind's a bit busy and then you're just focused on the words and then I'm out. That's usually what the book does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kindle stand, clicker. Yeah. And I was like, God, I'm really getting through this story tonight. Something high stress. Maybe I am. High stress. Maybe it was that man in my house this morning and I was preempting the Yeah.

Yeah. Just oh build a space. An uncomfortable situation. Taking up so much space. Like I'm trying to get ready. You're in the way. I can't even spread out. I can't have your fucking toolboxes on my cream carpet. I keep having to tell you take your trainers off. No. You bring in ladders. To be fair, I've got just got that one nice handy man who came here that one time. Yeah, he's nice. And he is nice. Yeah. He's the only man I like my flat. Yeah, he's nice.

He takes his shoes off. And he's a relationship. He has a relationship. We have a how you again. Yeah. Hello, how are you? That's as far as it goes. Hi again. Thank you. Just that on the wall there, please. Yeah. Hi again. Well I'm braving the horizontal stripes today. Yep, love it. Everyone keeps

It's that's whenever we're in horizontal stripes now, Suzanne. Braving the horizontal stripes. I got comments on TikTok. Braving the horizontal stripes. It's actually it's a bold and brave move, especially in yellow. Yeah. Right? It's it's giving us sunshine. It's giving us just like good vibes. Yeah. It's giving like a ray of sunshine. It's giving like primary school teacher like I'm happy. Hi kids. It's giving Balamore a girl. Yeah, hi students. Yeah, Miss Rachel vibes.

Hello. Yeah, it is. It's giving. Woo woo woo. I teach children. Yeah, it's great and colourful. Yeah, I'm an art teacher. That's what it's giving. It's giving so today we're gonna be using charcoal to create an image of Yeah. Look, I miss paints. Yeah, Chintsey was an art A level student. Still done. Think about it actually talk about A Level up because it does piss me off. Yeah, I remember. It was more about the writing than it was about the artist story.

You're judged on how well you can write about the fucking development. Which is I think that's just I understand that is education. It's criminal to the arts. You know, and it's just like no offense to anyone in my A level class. But some of the weakest Student Artists We're getting a star. Just because They had the allure of the right. And I don't have the allure of the right. If only Chat GBT existed then, then you would. No, I keep saying like

Like if chat G B T existed when we were at school. Seriously, what are the kids doing now?'Cause surely they're just writing their essays on Chat G. Well'cause when it we were on I was on Hollywood Lydia and she's like, I was like, just pull chat G B T up, babe. Yeah. Get it done. Yeah. Get your essay. Handship. She was like, you're like Yeah, I mean I mean maybe I'm just joking, obviously. You know. But apparently you can ask Jack GBT, write me an essay and make it

undetectable. Like AI undetectable. Can you say like write me an essay in French on Euthanasia? A hundred percent. Because that would have saved our lives. A hundred percent. Do they know different languages? She's a genius. I know she is. Of course. She knows everything. Wow. That's like the death of Google is coming. We should name her. I just call her a her. Yeah.

There's you know, the Alexa, the Siri. I guess she doesn't have a n she wasn't named. She wasn't named. But we could name our one. Yeah. Well, you can give them voices, you know. Wow. And you can speak to them and uh and then they'll reply in a voice. I don't that to me I don't want to get that far. You know. It sounds quite nice, really. Yeah, but then it's like I bet there's people who were falling in love with with the guys.

I know. And it's a slip of the thing. That's so true. You know? They're falling in love with their chat GBT. That's like that man who's in love with his car and has sex with his car. Mm-hmm. And his donkey. And the first thing. The man who's in love with his Ferris with that Ferris wheel and the man who's in love with that roller coaster. Is there a roller coaster? Mm. I used to watch it all. Could be. I used to love that show those shows.

Well, happy Wednesday everyone. How is everyone feeling? Oh woo woo woo We made it halfway through the weekend. We've made it halfway. It's just a good Wednesday afternoon. Like I think if you're listening to this like past like three PM, it's like babe, the day's done. Yes. Like the week is done. Like tomorrow's Thursday. And then tomorrow we're gonna be saying it's Friday tomorrow. Yeah.

'Cause I always remember at school Wednesdays w w were tough. Wednesdays were tough. But Wednesday afternoon, like that way home from school on Wednesday it was like, Oh But I say too. I don't remember thinking on Thursdays that we were almost there. It was just like a Friday. It's like, thank God. I remember thinking like Thursday, like I'm saying it's Friday to it's Friday tomorrow. Oh yeah that's true, which I like. Thursday morning, but then like Thursday afternoon, yeah.

Let's get it. Let's get it. Well we've got a funny question of the week. If we had a free period, it was like, oh my God. Fantastic. Okay. So our question of the week this week is speaking of the horizontal stripe. What's an outsory in Balamori, babes? A man wore that made you question everything. Because I do think, you know, for men. Have you seen that man on TikTok? I literally saw it yesterday and he was wearing black leggings, vinyl.

Wet leg leggings. Yes. The wet leggings. I don't know who he was, I don't know what it was. I'm skinning Danny Zoo. Yeah. But wet vi not even leather, shiny vinyl. Oof. Yeah. Anyway, that's it. I mean, I feel like the classic is gonna be like the white the skinny white jeans. And the and the the the low s especially with summer coming out. Yeah.'Cause but I do feel like for men it's it's very easy to get it right. Like

All you really need ASOS exists. ASOS exists. And it's great. Like is like a good pair some good pairs of jeans, some good T shirts. Some nice. We don't have to do too much. You know, what are those nice trousers? You know, little straight trousers. Nothing skinny, nothing tapers. And a clean trainer. And a and an air force. And a white Nike Air Force. And a nice pair of sunglasses. Yes. And Bob's your uncle, Fanny's your art.

Okay, we've got here the first culprit. Ripped leather jeans and a velvet top. It's giving texture. Whoa. Sir, why are we mixing mixing such textures babes? Say that again. Ripped leather jeans. What the fuck? So like leather trousers. Skipping Ross from friends. And a velvet top. Oh my god.

The way I would leather jacket. Oh my god, this man bless him. Do you know what happened to this man? This man watched Top Gun and thought, Yeah, I'm cool. I'm cool. Yeah. Because listen to this, bless him. Yeah. Leather jacket. Aviator sunglasses. Oh that's it. He wanted to be Tom Cruise. Maybe he actually has a few. Top gun. Yeah. We I went and bought a pair of aviators. Oh. I was like, everyone looks fucking good in these. Aviators are a classic.

And she still rocks all her different beings. I remember when I was gagging for a pair of aviators and I'm sure they will come back around and be If not, they may be back. They've they're the classic, but uh maybe he does actually have a motorbike so Maybe he does. So we can give him a pass. Ripped denim jeans that had sparkly diamantes in the rips. Oh we just don't need to do that much. Oh, that's actually insane. Zara bomber jacket, light pink. Bomber jacket.

Oh I think I think obviously he wasn't wearing it. He wasn't wearing it. With the illusion. The jacket was wearing him. Because the thing is is like if Harry Stows wore a pink bomber jacket, fucking hell. We'd eat it at one point. We'd need it up. So jogger shorts under jogging bottoms, but the bottoms being halfway down is bum.

Yeah. I mean this is a tailor's oldest talk. I mean it's giving Central City for Central Sea walks with his asshole out. Are you not like afraid that someone's gonna pull your pants down? Yeah. I don't and so does like Jaden. J and Justin Bieber back in the day. And Justin Bieber even now. Like I just I don't really get it. D d do they think it makes their torso look longer? Do they think it makes them look taller? Maybe like does do do they think it makes their legs look

'Cause it makes their legs look shorter. They must want that. They must want that. Yeah. And they must want a longer torso because that's the only cause it's like your torso's now starting at your willy. Mm-hmm. Well, really, sir, your waist is at least a few inches high. Like pull your trousers up, so Your legs are this long. Your bum's here. Your waist starts up here and your legs are there.

Yeah, they must want their legs to look small. Yeah. Because then if you're wearing high topics, you're not sure. But like you're having to hold your trousers up, like are you not stressed? But that's the part Are you not stressed? But that's the part of their alliance. The allium is part of the walk.

Like central seats, the part of the the swag. Yeah, the swag. But like does he walk around his house like that, or is that like I'm going out, I'm gonna pull my transfer. I'm sure they're sat up here. I bet he's got a fucking belt on as well. At home, I'm sure they're sat belt and braces. But you know, when he's in front of the public, he wants The ankles to look short. Is it a lexicon? It's look long. Is it also just like they think it's like effortless vibes, like rolled out of beds? Yeah.

Effortless. Badhead. Like big chain. Just like effortless. Like I've not really made an effort center. Maybe that's what it is. Yeah. Like slouchy. Sent I'm just looking up. Central C bum out. Let's have a look, sir. We could ask chat. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Boom. Yeah. Like like at least who thinks it looks good? At least have green boxes on side. Right. At least have a right chance to do it. You know what I mean? At least have green any boxer shorts and think, Yeah, that looks good.

But men must think it looks good on other men. Green hat. Green hoodie. He should have green boxes on to make it all, at least monotone. Yeah, like your whole arsenal. God forbid you had a hole in your pants. God forbid uh I mean I remember hearing one time that David Beckham never re re wears a pair of boxes.

I've heard that too. And he just chucks'em out. I've heard that too. Always a fresh pack of Kelvin Kleins. I appreciate that. But not good for the environment, sir. Yeah, that's true. Because you can wa like wash your boxes, David. I mean how filthy are you getting?

Sorry, we've got here a sleeveless hoodie. Wait. Oh my god. Sorry, I had to just I've got one, but mine's cute. Yeah, it's cute when it's crop neck. Mine's a cute little crop neck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. On a On a guy that's that's criminal. Yeah. No thank you. Oh my God. Tight white turtleneck. Nipples out, everything nipples out. Tight along the arms, tight on the ankle, on the wrist.

On the neck, just like no skims. Bucket hat on a first date. Okay. Okay, I mean it's it's okay. Fake Versace t shirt. Aww. Okay. kept wearing a pair of car heart jeans that were too tight and short, and his belly bulged over them. Oh no, oh no. Car heart's cool you see. Car heart's really cool. You know, y you know, I know for the boys it's really cool. Yeah, car hearts. So you can't let you know, if you've got that one pair of car heart jeans, I'm sure he's wearing them to death.

Awesome. He put on a pair of cuffed beige cargoes last week. You can just cut that cu cut off cut yeah. You can just cut the cut off, Sarah. 'Cause I've seen people do that with women's joggers. Just cut the cut off. You got a nice pair of so you could just take the scissors to them. An all grey tracksuit. I feel like that's kind of a sleigh. I think that's sexy, no? Someone hates that.

My ex always used to wear Nike Tech tracksuits. It's like a shell slip energy. Let's look it up. Hoodie with a T shirt over it. Absolutely vile. How are you getting a t shirt over your hoodie? That's an interesting choice. I'm not actually like let's see. It's like this it's got lining. It's got like it's Oh yeah. I mean if at least all they were it's like oh fucking At least it's matching. I can hear you before I can see you, I can hear you swishing down the corridor. I look yeah.

I imagine he's got his bum out though, probably. Yeah. You know, because that's probably the look. It's kind of basic. Spiky Louboutons. Wait, let's just take a moment for the spiky lube.

Paint splattered jeans and an LV printed top. Save to say I never looked back. This was the spiky loo person. White leather jeans. Michael Jackson was quaking in his boots. White. He wore the same outfit, jeans, black t shirt and trainers to every date. We went on five. Oh maybe Steve Jobs. Yes giving Steve Jobs actually. And he uh i you know, and if it's a good black t shirt and good pair of jeans. Like it's his favourite one.

It feels good in it. I'm as I'm hoping that you would open I'm hoping it's not the same. I'm hoping you open his wardrobe and there's like twenty black tops and twenty pairs of the water. But equally your dates could have been over five weeks. So every Friday that you just put sis. They've washed it. Oh. My Brian used to wear skinny jean shorts. He has little matchstick legs.

Oh Oh with a little turn up at the knee, right? A little jean, little turn up at the He's wearing jorts. It's Jorts summer. It's Jorts summer, but not tight jorts. No, not tight jorts. Baseball shirt over a hoodie? He he's going to the games trying to keep warm. I'm going to get to that. Swim shorts out and about. Mm. I mean if we're not struggling like pass. Um'cause like in Australia the men have got their toes out in the supermarket. A jumper with goggles attached.

What's that? Like skydiving goggles? Again, another Nike Tech vom. Girls are like the Nike Tech. Yeah. So is it I think it's just giving basic on the Nike Tech. Yeah, it's giving ba yeah, that's exactly it's giving basic. Most common one here is skinny jeans by far. I mean the skinny white leather jeans have took it took the cake for me. And the the what was it? Someone said matching tracksuits. I quite like matching tracksuits. Yeah, go on ASOS. ASOS man, matching track.

Red sneakers. Yeah, I don't really like that. T shirt and a blazer, a cry for help. Oh but I'm sure Zach Effron wore a big one. Yeah, seventeen again. It's definitely Yeah, Zach Efron wore a t shirt and a blazer and seventeen again, no? Yeah when he was getting out of the car. No. Was that just a jacket? Was that not a blazer? That was a jacket. He was giving Danny Zuko that day. He had aviators on in that scene, no? Did he? Didn't he win the moss?

I think he could have one second Mandela effect. One second. Has he got AV? He's wearing aviators. And a leather and and a leather jacket. Exactly as our man was doing earlier. Yeah. So we could maybe this was his inspo. Fuck top though. It was seventeen again. Look at that with Mike O'Donnell. It was a leather jacket without a lapel, you know, like the Fucking Oh my god. I'm sorry, this is one of Ly's this this scene changed

Our brain chemistry. I think for any woman who watched this film and anything Yeah. Especially taking the jump from high school musical to this. Oh, that was huge. It was just like Wow, what is going on? Yeah. What am I feeling right now? What is this emotion? What are these feelings? Yeah. Is this love, lust, desire? Yeah. It's all of them. Yeah. Yeah. I mean that's such an iconic scene. That scene I'm actually getting goosebumps. Head to toe. Because

I would love to watch back the moment we watched that scene for the first time. First time. What was our reaction? Were we even taking it all in? I think we were. You don't forget something like that. Did we go to the cinema? Like this was probably a cinema trip. We possibly went to the cinema. This is a Zach Ephron film straight after high school music school. We had let's fucking go. Let's go. It's the heart throb. Yeah. The 2010s.

Still the hot rubber for now. Absolutely, Zach. Come on the pod.

Let's manifest. How much could we pay Zach? Whatever he wants. Oh, we could give him a couple thousand pounds. Come on, Zach. If he needs it. We can give you 2.5k. Yeah, does that sound tensing that? For an hour and twenty of your time. Three thousand pounds. Let's start bidding. Make it five. Now we're talking. Five K Zach.

5k in a lovely afternoon with these two women. What's not to like? Look at me. Look at the stripes. And listen, I've heard Zach, you dated that Australian waitress. Yeah, we've heard it. What about a podcast? So no, you're not so no you're not just dating, you know the A listers. Yeah, the Vanessa Hutchins. Think about it. Five thousand pounds. What about uh two hours of your time?

You make it worth it. Two hours of your time in this chair, whichever chair you want to sit at. Yeah? We'll get your flights tonight. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Five thousand pounds and your flight. An accommodation. Someone listening somewhere must have a connection to Zach Ephron. Yeah, we'll be watching. Because he's got a brother. What if his brother's girlfriends, friends, he's got cousins?

He's got family. Yeah. He's got friends. He's got people who've met him on his Instagram. What's he up to these days? Yeah. Like that. He's gotta be one person away. We have to. Two at least. Don't they say you're always like two people away from From someone? Back at it, fourteenth of May, filming. Saw it. I really liked it. Love it.

He's acting, he's like someone on that film set has gotta have a girlfriend, a daughter, a cousin, a second cousin of someone who was once tuned in to the girls' bathroom. Look at this. Seeing it. He's reclaiming that heartthrob title. Yes, he's stepping back into his era. GQ, Sexth Man of the Year, let's go. Let's get it. Wow, what film is this, Zach? Let us know. We need to go to the cinema. So, as we said before, Zach, we'll see you in the cinemas if we don't see you here.

Five grand, night in a hotel, flights. Or you could stay in Sophia's spare bedroom. Or you can stay in my sped. Or you can stay in Cincya's bed. No, we can't. She's got a lot of labor. Let's not make Zach feel uncomfortable. Oh yeah, sorry. A night in a board. Or just a bedroom that you could have. Or a five or a five star, all expenses paid. Yeah. You let us know and you get back to us. Five thousand pounds. Right.

Right. So what we learnt here is that there is a man out there on the streets wearing a velvet top and leather skinny ripped jeans. Stay safe, Alton.

Just before we get into it, quick disclaimer. Just to this we are not doctors, we are not professionals. We do not actually know what we are talking about. It's a light-hearted space. Okay. Don't take what we say literally, because we could be wrong. Yeah. And if there's anything serious, if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with.

Please contact a GP, a professional, because that is not us. We're just girls, girls and boys, just like you. We're just trying to get through life as well. Not professionals. Enjoy the Okay, I feel like a couple of weeks ago we were speaking about Or maybe it was on Patreon. Yeah. We were speaking about these Facebook pages, Are We Dating the Same Guy? Remember? Yeah. And now we've got for our first dilemma this week, my best friend's boyfriend and baby daddy.

potentially caught on are we dating the same guy page? Well I just informed you didn't I what happened to Wizard Liz. You did, yes. And you know what he's done now? No. He's released pictures of the messages. Why? Obviously he thinks it incriminates him less.

But it doesn't at all. Oh my god. Yeah. And the messages are like, Are you still it are you still in Dallas? I'm not sure about the lookout. Well, and he's being like, It wasn't that Yeah. He's saying like you know, we didn't meet he but it's like

He had all the intent. Right. It was like you still in Dallas and she was like, How many you got a wife? Yeah. And he was like, Ooh, it's all um it's all fake. Oh, it's a long distance and it's complicated. Like um she was like, But you have a wife though. Like You're wearing a wedding ring haze or it's complicated. Like we're not technically married. Like

Okay, you're literally incriminating yourself further. And then she's like that. And then it was like, we can speak about this in person. And she was like, sorry, I don't hang out with married men. Right. Like fucking Idiot. And then and then how does he think that that's a good thing? Yeah, and then literally on Snapchat it says Landon turned on disappearing messages. Cause then he shot himself.

Turned on these messages so that they would delete, but she'd already taken pictures of them. Oh my God. Idiot. Yeah. Imagine the fear he was living in until he got caught. He thought that that was better. those messages weren't incriminating because they never met up. But he literally said, Let's talk about this in person like

And obviously playing down his relationship where you only up because she rejected you and they're engaged. Oh my God. In that mental intention, you l just got rejected. In that mental. Yeah. How does he think that that is better? He released the messages. So it's giving yeah, we need to fucking background check these men.

So for anyone who doesn't know, are we dating the same guy? It's pretty self explanatory. It's just like people will put a picture maybe of someone that they've matched with and be like, I think I'm gonna meet this guy on Friday. Like

How like what's the vibe guys? Like he's been a bit yada yada yada. And it's kinda just good to like has anyone had any bad experiences with this guy? Like just do a bit of extra research. Yeah, just for also for your own actual safety, I think it's good to do that.

So we've got here, I have a dilemma which I would love to know your thoughts on. I met one of my now best friends at the gym over two years ago. Let's call her Susan. She is one of my friends who I've met later on in life, but she's really supported me through a shit breakup and I just couldn't do life without her.

But I feel really conflicted due to recent events. Right. I first met Susan at CrossFit, where her and her boyfriend, we'll call him Brian, were both members. Not long after I started, they had to go on a break. From their relationship. Yeah. Right. Susan had found out that Brian had been texting someone else. Not long after, she decided to give him another chance.

And put it down to him just being quite low, stressed about work, struggling financially, like he went through a bad patch. But then it's just like, why do they need to seek validation from other women? It's so embarrassing. The fact that blaming it on is your like next solution like oh I'm not feeling good right now. So in so I'm gonna go message someone else.

W yeah, what about one? What about equal? Like what about a walk in nature, Brian? Yeah. What about a fucking long hot bath? What about two sessions? Why don't you read a book? Yeah. Why is that the solution? And and and then they that managing the way to manipulate their way out of the situation by saying, I was low. Yeah.

I've got financial problems. I was stressed. That's why I did it. No, you were seeking validation from another woman. You've got a lovely, incredible, amazing woman here who's your girlfriend. Who could have helped you with that burden. Who would have also actually wanted to support you because that's what a partner does. Fucking

Um Sarah's given him another. Since then there have been no issues and they seem really happy. She often says maybe it made him realize what he could have lost. Yeah. I can understand that. Towards the start of the year, Susan had told me that her and Brian had been trying for a baby, which was great. Fast forward a few weeks ago in Marks and Spencer's drinking a matcha, she tells me Oh, I've still not tried the MS matcha. We have, we had it on tour in Newcastle.

Oh God, forgot about that. I don't know how I plucked that specific memory. I remember the black and white stripey straws. Memory unlocked, memory unlocked. Yeah, dome lids. Yeah, okay, memory unlocked. It didn't It didn't blow my mind though. No. It wasn't off because it wasn't that ingrained. All right. She tells me she's six weeks pregnant. Okay. Oh god, what's happening? Obviously, I was so happy for her. Tears were shed. It was a joyous time. It is joyous when you prag. However, last night.

I was scrolling on Facebook and what do I see? A picture of Brian on Are We Dating the Same Guy West Midlands page. It's close to home for us. Oh my god. Well, with the east. Yeah. Yeah. South. Yeah, absolutely. West Midlands is Glasgow. Yeah. It's Edinburgh babes. Yeah. But it's all right. They sound similar. Absolutely. No, it's tough. Astra GBT babes. Yeah.

The worst Midlands is Glasgow. I was shaking. I called a mutual friend. Wait, so she was just browsing the She was just on Facebook. Yeah because I mean you're part sorry, yeah, you're a part of the group, whatever. I called a mutual friend who told me that she would want to know if it was her. Okay, right. So you're thinking Okay, I've just found my friend's boyfriend on there. She's told me she's six weeks pregnant. Like, what do I do? Yada yada yada.

Um but my other friend said, Look, if it was us, we'd wanna know. Absolutely, you wanna know. So I called Susan. I told her what I'd seen and she simply asked me to send the screenshot for reference. No. For reference, the post of him said absolute definition of red flag. Lies, false intentions, sweet talker until he gets what he wants.

Says he wants a relationship and then lie after lie after lie. Well yeah, because he's got a girlfriend and a and a and a baby on the way. Someone else had already commented on it, saying that all he wanted off them was a friends with benefits situation.

Being an English teacher, all I could do was analyse Absolutely Analyze the grammar. Analyze the game foreshadowing character arcs. All I could do was analyse what had been put What had been put, what does a sweet talker until he gets what he wants mean? So she analyses the sentence he What does a sweet talk until he gets what he wants? So he's obviously he can break this down. He's saying everything he needs to say. What's that thing? Whether it's a pathetic fallacy. Yeah.

He's saying it's beautiful. Oh my god, I I I would have babies with you know, all the things the men say to All the Ilya. All the ILIA. Like they net you know, they know what they're doing and then once they get what they got, and then they fuck off. Okay, so Susan's asked for a screenshot. So I sent Susan the pictures and she asked me to reply to the post, asking for more info. Okay. Yeah. Fair. The one girl who had replied to the original post.

said she hadn't spoken to him for a few months, but the other girl's post said that she last saw Brian four weeks ago. Oh my God. So he's already out here meeting up with with with other women. But had stopped replying to him because she was sick of his lies and inconsistencies. It's probably not clear he's got a girlfriend or a baby on the way on his socials. She said she didn't want to get involved and she's sorry if he had a girlfriend.

But to prove she isn't lying, she gave me some very specific information about him that wouldn't be on social media. My issue is Susan is being very dismissive, saying that she doesn't believe it. She thinks it's just some girls having a joke. The times don't quite add up. She's checked his phone. There's nothing on it. And he always has location on.

To me, like in my opinion, there's no smoke without fire. I don't think that girls would simply go out of their way to make this sort of stuff up. I also don't think people would post in retrospect randomly on one day, like they'd do it in the heat of the moment. She is also really close with her sister.

Mm-hmm. And her sister has only just come around to being on good terms with Brian after what happened last time. So I know that she won't tell her about this because it's all gonna kick off again. I'd love to know your opinion on this and I feel really conflicted. I don't want to be a bad friend. I feel like her whole pregnancy like is maybe tainted now. I know she's gonna reveal to our other friends that she is pregnant in a few weeks' time when we all get together.

How can I sit here and she while she announces this and pretends that everything's okay? How can I listen to her be excited for her pregnancy when this has happened? Am I the one in the wrong for believing the post?

Not at all. I am off work in half term and my mind is going overdry. Half term Oh, and this is them after their park run. I'm on the left, Susan. This is these are the friends. Gorgeous girl. Susan on the right. Susan in your Lululemon BBL time. Susan does not deserve this. You girls look beautiful. All right, so you've sent the screenshots to Susan. She's just kind of saying, I don't believe it. They're making up lies. She's she's she's just like, she's avoiding.

Obviously Susan doesn't want to believe this at all. You no one wants you don't want no one wants to believe it. If anyone's being presented with this information, like especially newly pregnant. Yeah, you don't want to believe it. But I fear As the wizard Liz did, she found out he cheated, she's four months pregnant, got rid of that man instantly. and i fear that is that is the only

outcome that can happen from these cheating men when you're pregnant. Because like the level of disrespect when you cheat when you're not pregnant is is astronomical.

So the level of disrespect when you're cheating with a pregnant girlfriend is absolutely you l Unfathomable. Because it also goes to that Unfathomable. That other mindset of like, well, I can do what I want, she's not leaving me, she's pregnant. Yeah. It's unfathomable that treatment. And the only way That they're gonna learn, not not that you're gonna go back, it is it is leaving them. This this this man is Sarah does should not be with this man.

What can you do though? I think it's one of those things where And I have sisters. Like you've done what you thought was the right thing. I think you have done the right thing. You've told Susan, like I believe that this man is out there

I don't think he would be on this website wouldn't for no reason with different girls commenting. Like I feel like that's not really the purpose to like make up stories on this website. Like no it's a pair of warn people. And it was two women. Yeah. You've got multiple sources. Yeah. Um and you've told her and at the end of the day, like

This is her life. She's gotta make her decisions. Like maybe it's something that she's just like, look, I can't even deal with this right now. I can't even think about this right now. I've got my own shit going on. I've got a lot running through my mind because I'm just fucking found out I'm pregnant. Like I cannot deal with this man's behaviour right now. Like, you never know.

Maybe in a few months' time she might be like, Right, okay, I've kind of settled into things a bit more like I'm think like She's not gonna I think just because she's brushed it under the rug to you I don't think that means that she's brushed it under the rug to herself. It might just be like, look, okay, like I don't want to keep talking about it. Like I'm thinking I'm not thinking about that right now. I've got other shit on my plate. Like I've heard you, like you've told me, like

I will deal with this how and when I see fit. And I think as the friend, like it it is tricky because you obviously want her to just be like, leave him, go, yada, yada, yada, but she hasn't chosen to do that. And what you can't force her. Like she's gotta make the decision that she wants to make because it's her life and she's gotta live with whatever con consequences happen. So as long as she's happy with the decisions that she's making If it was me, I'd tell her sister.

'Cause then I feel like sisters can get sisters sometimes are the only person who could get through get through. You know? So like I would maybe tell her sister be like, look, I found this out. Obviously, she's not told you because she knows. how you're gonna react, but I just feel like you might be able to h help handle it with the family. Yeah. I don't know. Uh obviously she I just wouldn't go behind a pregnant woman's bag. No, I I

If she was a pregnant Yeah. I'm not touching a pregnant lady. I'm not stressing out a pregnant lady more by going behind. Happy family. Family's gonna be, you know, this gorgeous unit. He's come back. He's he d you know, he's learnt that he doesn't want to lose me. And it's just fucking typical. Like who does he think he is? I know. Like who the fuck does he think he is? That you've got a pregnant girlfriend, you lunatic. She deserves so much better.

She's gotta make her own choices. Let her know just let her know you d you do deserve better. Yeah. And I will get better. And it will get better and it there are People out there who obviously we're not talking about thinking about other boyfriends or potential, but you don't deserve this. Yeah. So, like, remember your worth. Remember who you are, Sarah. Little spin. Remember who you are, Sarah? Was that dramatic?

Yeah, it was perfect. Remember who you are, Sarah. And like stand on business and get rid of this man because like you will thrive on your own, unfortunately well, fortunately you will. Like, who the fuck does he think he is? He thinks he's the king of the fucking world. No chicken, you can do that here on Facebook. He can't get away with that. Like, come on. Like at least what she needs to do is

show him the Facebook and be like, you know you're on this page. Yeah, has she even confronted him? And like people are talking like, Can you explain this please? Like people are talking about you on this page. Like what is it? Like she needs to at least tell him, like, I know what you're like What are you doing? She needs to at least have it out with me. But then it's just more manipulation than lies.

Check it out. But then at least like he would know, oh shit. Like I'm not safe with anyone because girls are on Facebook exposing. But but then Catherine and Austin. I know. She knew. He still w you know, she confronted him. He still went off gallivanting around doing doing whatever he wanted to do. It's just like they w won't be fearful until you le until you actually leave and they're like, Oh damn, she left.

It's true. Like I'm sorry you go your friends going through that, Sarah. So it's a hard spot for your friendship to be in when you're like, I don't really think you should do that. But then it's like Who am I to tell you? Like I think maybe never been in her shoes. It's a complicated situation. And also like she's never been pregnant before. This is all right. It's just a little with that. Imagine her emotions right now. Yeah, I can only imagine the stress.

The anxiety, the the fear also of this situation. So all you can do is be there for her. Like you you know, you have to give it some grace that she might not be like, Right, I'm leaving tomorrow, I'm out like she might she's obviously not reacted like that. I think she's still processing it probably. It's a lot to process. Yeah. And probably until she's got hardcore evidence of like cheating, maybe until then she'll like wake up and

realize that you know,'cause she's still making ex you know, you you wanna make you wanna make excuses for the big thing. Well yeah, but she don't want to believe it. No. But I there w hopefully will become a time where she realizes that she deserves so much more. Maybe that's after the baby's born, you know. Maybe.

Because unfortunately having a child cannot fix no things. Can if if anything, it makes it worse. When you haven't got a supportive partner, obviously and a cheating partner, it's just gonna make it worse. Hi, I'm Dorina, co-founder of Quo. You might know us as Open Phone. My dad is a business owner and growing up, he always kept his ringtone super loud so he'd never miss a customer call. That's stuck with me.

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We've analyzed this behaviour before. Oh We've dealt with this live and direct in the flesh. In our past lives. And it enrages me to this day. Yeah. In our past lives, obviously meaning Six years ago. We have dealt with this first hand. We've dealt with this first hand. From both of our ex partners. And it is way more than just the act of so much more. Right. So Sarah it it's a little bit more. It represents the word I was looking for. So much more.

Right. You're like, what is it? What is it? There's actually nothing that enrages me more than she's like. And also there's nothing quite like it. There's nothing quite like it. There's nothing quite like it. Like And it's something that our parents probably didn't face. It's a modern obstacle. Exactly. That's it.

Angie, never heard of it. Never heard of it. She's you know, all they had out there back in the day was Meet you at the pub at seven was in two weeks. Okay. All those cameras, instant flat. Disposables. Disposables.

And they weren't taking O O T D's back in the day. They don't know where to post them. They weren't getting pictures before you went to the pub. Where were you posting these pictures? You're putting them in a picture album and flicking through maybe once a year. Yeah, we ain't getting thirst traps on holiday.

Can't show mum and dad that when we get home, can I? Yeah. It was like it was tenerous. It was like if we wanted to meet a man, we've got to go out onto these streets. We can't lure them in. No, we can't sit at home and post something. I hope it reaches the right demographic. We've got to walk these streets. Yeah.

Right. Okay. So let's read out what it's Yeah. So like our parents have oh our grandparents, God forbid, this is God forbid, Margaret, how did she do it? If I could speak to my grandparents, th th they'd be perplexed by this sort of email. Like th this This will give them a heart attack. Mm. Like a Victorian child. A Victorian child would. Go into anaphylactic shop. If they had to read this email, it would make no sense. What is a picture? A painsae? A painting that moves.

No, it doesn't move. But like all they had was paintings. Yeah, well it would be my boyfriend would illustrate me. If I That's what it would be. If I was back in the My boyfriend won't be in our family portrait. And I was yeah, and someone wanted to was doing my paint, I'd say

Go on, make my tits look a bit bigger. Yeah. Shrink that, which I'd say, go on, make my hair look a bit longer. Come on. Yeah. But you can't move, you can't see it until it's finished. Yeah. There you go. That's what Lydia says apparently We're getting all historical. Is it Henry VIII? Oh fucking hell. Catherine of Aragon. And he made

He like we don't actually know what it looks like because I think he makes tweets to his picture. Slang Henry. Slang. Make me look a little bit, you know, a bit better, a bit of muscle there. Right.

So we don't even know what we've not even said. So Sarah says, my boyfriend hates taking photos of me. That translates to my boyfriend hates me. And you cannot convince me otherwise. You cannot. Sarah, we won't wouldn't even have to read this email. That is how your boyfriend feels about. Your boyfriend hates you. Doesn't want you to shine. Doesn't want you to look gorgeous. Your boyfriend hates you. Doesn't want you to post on Instagram. Doesn't want you looking good. Out there.

And feeling good as well. And feeling good. Doesn't want to give you a compliment. Wow. Wow, babe. Wow. You look amazing. Get a picture of hair. Come on. Do that again. That was really good. Yes. Or just even like this isn't even for Instagram. We're at dinner. Smile. Taking nice pictures of you for his own memories. He hates you. Like

Sorry. We could move on now, but we're gonna read. But we'll talk about it for forty-five minutes. Absolutely. Because there's nothing that rouses me or us up than this. This type of shit. Do you remember I would go in Hollywood my ex boyfriend? Oh, I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. Yeah.

It's just like And it was the it was the daily argument. The daily argument. Who the fuck So embarrassing, so embarrassing. No, no, so embarrassing, so embarrassing. Trying to make you know, who's embarrassed? Well I'm the one in front of the camera. I'm not embarrassed. All you gotta do is sit there and fucking tap your screen. All you gotta do is maybe fucking stand up. Yeah. I'm even making it so you don't have to stand up. Yeah, exactly. You don't have to move. Exactly. So embarrassing.

Are you insecure? Just just tell me. Apparently. Do you hate me? Just tell me. Like, do you think I deserve better? You know it. Always. Okay, so your boyfriend hates it. Girls, I need your professional help. We're locking in. We're locking in. Locking into work.

I love the podcast. I've only been a listener for a year, but I've now listened to every single episode while Sarah. Fucking hell. Don't get sick of us. I've been with my Brian for almost four years. Oh, that's four years too long. Yeah. I am twenty three and he is twenty four. We have grown so much together. Yeah,'cause like think we've gone into our whole twenties together. From being still not let us take a good picture. We're in America.

From moving states together, getting new jobs and promotions, finishing his degree. I finished mine this year. Incredible Sarah. And living together. He is my best friend and lover in one. Not your photographer though, is he? And that's important. Oh my god, we have a picture. He is truly an amazing man and boyfriend, paying for my flights on holidays, as he should, even booking me business class if I ever have to fly alone. Does he take a picture of you in business class?'Cause he should. Yeah.

He's caring, hard working, funny, extremely family oriented. due to his culture and does a lot for me. Also, my family is obsessed with that. I mean it sounds nice. Okay, it sounds quite nice. I'm sorry that we were so harsh, but this just type of shit enrages us. Okay. And maybe that's a Sephere and Chincy issue. Maybe. Maybe we're maybe we're projecting our past experiences onto you. But inju

It's like it's not I'm not asking for you to fucking I'm not asking for you to do anything. I'm asking you to I'm asking you to lift your wrist.

Put some effort into it as well. Otherwise we're only gonna have to do this for longer. The quicker you get in a good mood, the quicker this is done. Like this can take four minutes. Or we can make it last four hours. You choose. Exactly. Like if if you just have a good attitude. Mm. But it's like, you must hate me because you don't want to see your girlfriend happy. There is just one problem. He hates taking photos of me and even hates taking photos with me. Oh so it's huffing when

It's couple pick too. It's couple pick. And it's like we're at a wedding. You're in a suit. Yeah. Come on. Like we're getting a We matched. Yeah. My dress matches your croissants. Yeah, your croissage. If there is one thing about me, I love a good pick, and he should understand that. Also like it doesn't. We're on holiday. I'm dressed up. Like look, she's giving influences. She says, I love scrolling Pinterest, getting photo inspo to recreate. Yes. You two are actually my biggest insta inspo.

Thanks, Sarah. That was very nice. It's truly a hobby for me. Yeah. Like you enjoy it. Yeah. You love putting on your outfit, showing it off to your look to your friends. Capturing the moment. These are my hottest years. Exactly. I'm getting hot. Document them. These are my hottest years. It's exactly like be proud that you've got a hot girlfriend. It I just don't get it.

Me neither. I don't understand it at all. Sexy, stylish girlfriend, and you're in Mikanos. Yeah. Make it work. Take a picture. It's time to crack in. Yeah. And I want to share that, she said.

Whenever I feel cute and want a pick, he gets frustrated. Oh let's just hold space for the word frustrated seeing red. I'd be seeing red'cause all you need when you want to get a nice familiar is just someone who's up for it. Right? And someone who's like, Yeah, okay, try that. No, that looks shit. Surely like me asking you to go back to the buffet to get me a a coffee is a bigger deal. Then Stay there, babe.

Can you just hold take a picture of that? It's mental, isn't it? It's actually mental. It's actually mental. But then it's the but then it's the whole thing, it's like Insecure Doesn't want to give you a compliment, you know, doesn't want to let you know you're looking girl. I know, but so but maybe

This is down like I could understand maybe if he doesn't like getting couple pics. Maybe he hates having his picture taken. Maybe it's just like he's like, I really don't feel comfortable. I really don't like it. Like, fine, okay, whatever. But like you could take pictures of me all day. Yeah. should be a hobby of yours, to capture my beauty.

Right? That that should be your hobby. That should be your life passion. You can put it on your CV. Yeah. So do he gets frustrated and either flat out refuses. Not a flat out refusal. Or we'll take them. But not put any effort into their shit. Then the Venepson is even more pissed off. Because he's frustrated. So he carries the frustration up. This is Oh, this is a deal breaker for me, sorry. This is like actually like MPTSD. That's the classic, like, oh. Oh I'm embarrassed. No.

It makes me feel like I'm being selfish or self absor self absorbed. Yeah, that's how he's making you feel. And really all you're doing is just asking for someone to tell asking your boyfriend who loves you to just take a photo of you. And also like You're not asking him like ten times every day, even if you were, I don't care. But you're asking him like we're on holiday, we're at a nice outfit, like even like come on. Listen to this. Don't I don't want to know. He states.

He doesn't like taking photos of me. Yeah, what's his reason? Come on. Because it ruins the moment. You're ruining the moment with your fucking bad attitude. The only person ruining this moment, sir, is you. And he doesn't want to waste his time. Oh my God. There's something about this topic that just makes me see right. Let's hold space for wasting his time. Who the fuck do you think you are?

What on earth? Th those are the classic excuses though, yeah, absolutely. Waste of my time. We've both had You don't need a picture. Like who you even posted these pictures for? What are you gonna do with these? Yeah, ruining the moment. It takes two seconds. There's a fucking sunset behind me. Yeah, time is now. So do you know what I mean? I I would like to ask her like if he compliments her. Me too. You know, because I do think it goes in with that, like

Me too.'Cause it's that whole jealousy thing doesn't want you to feel beautiful because they want to keep you small so that, you know, you still want them. They don't want you to feel like you could deserve better, you know? And it it's it's like this whole He's not an Instagram boyfriend, that's for sure. Not at all. But like And you're an Instagram can become an In Instagram boyfriend, all they have to do is follow direction. Yeah. Follow direction. That's all it is.

Um and his excuse for not wanting photos with me is that he's a very private person and knows I'm going to put it on socials, which I would always ask his permission before posting him.

Yeah, so but also it's like we're at a wedding I just want this for my memories. Yeah. Maybe this works for the MI five. A new screensaver. Maybe it's James Bond. Yeah, like a new screensaver. Like can't we just get pictures to look back on and remember this whole thing? Yeah, we don't have to post it. Like it's not you know, like you know Yeah. Also just like something to show like mum and dad when we get home. Oh, he's us blah blah blah. Or to show the kids. Yeah.

This is us when we're twenty four. Maybe he's got a double life. Um he doesn't really post. Okay, so his whole excuse is it's like oh Instagram is a waste of time. It doesn't mean anything. Like don't I don't even want a picture because like we I don't even post. Like, make sure you don't post me. He also said he can be a bit insecure sometimes. So I do understand that and respect that. Oh, so he's actually said I am insecure.

I guess I just want your advice on how I can get him to take photos of me. What I can say to him to get him to enjoy helping me out. Exactly. That's what it is. It's like just help me out. I know Sophia Sprime puts in the work. He does.

Because your holiday picks are gorge. Thank you. And and that is I pass that along and that is good attitude and eagerness to please. And to help. But also it's quite simple because that's what you want to do for your girlfriend, no? And it's like a boyfriend who doesn't want to please or help or or assist their girlfriend.

Cause when you blame it. Why are you with me then? When you take the photo element out of it, all you're doing is asking your boy for favour help with something. For a favour. You're asking him like Can you put the suitcase up cause it's too hot? Can you do this cause it's blah blah blah? Yeah. It's just from if I could do this without you, I would. But like

I need two people here. I haven't got a fucking coming out of my bum hole that loops around that can go over there to take the picture of me. I can also make invisible on my fucking picks in retouch. Yeah. So like I just need some help.

Yeah, and he's saying, No, I don't want to help you. No. That's just what it is. Can you help me bring this suitcase upstairs? No. No. Do it yourself. No, do it yourself. It's a waste of time. It's going to ruin my moment. I'm watching the TV. It's exactly the same. Yeah, a waste of my time. That's just rude. Mm. Also.

If you guys have any tips on taking photos by yourself, no, no No, no, no, there's a whole human No There's a whole human with two hands. With two hands And ten fingers. Hopefully. Yeah. Even if he's got even if he's got two three fingers on each hand, he can take a picture, I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure of it of it. Even if he had one hand, I'm sure he'd be able to take a picture. He'd figure it out.

Even if he had no arms and he had two feet, he could still take a picture with his feet. Yeah. Little toes. And you and and so he's probably saying get them on your own. Wow. One could only take so many cells. Do you expect me to grow a tail that has fingers? Like Do you want me to clone myself? Uh, I don't have too many friends in the city I live in. All of my close girlfriends live very far away. Content. So, like Saturday morning, let's go cafe. You're gonna snap me on the way, babe.

Exactly. It's not hard. It's not hard. I've already scattered out the location. I already know what angle I want. I know you know where I want it. Like I'm just gonna walk back and forth for fucking two minutes and that's it, done. Phone's away. We have a trip planned to Egypt and Turkey at the end of the year. Like come on, content, content, content.

So you advisable me and the world to make pics attached of some rare photos of us together. A very stressed Sarah, like Brian.'Cause you know what my thing is? Wait, let's look at the culprit. I mean he looks friendly, but Obviously. He does look friendly too. He can't lure us in with his with his friendly smile. No. Like Sarah quite nice. Yeah, Sarah you're beautiful. Oh here. I can see why you want to be a little bit more. Oh here he is. Absolutely. This man, right, your boyfriend.

I don't understand how he hasn't put it on the Sarah together of, you know, this is just giving like happy wife, happy life. Okay. Does he not see that when you get a nice pick? You're like, oh great, thank you so much. Like, love you. Like, I'm in a great mood now because like, yeah, I've got the shot of my holiday. Yeah. And does he then not realize that when like he's so aggy and won't get a nice pick, you're then miserable? Does he just not think like

Oh yes, Sarah looks great. Let's go go go go go go. She's gonna love this. Like woo. Yeah, but then it's like it's so much more than the refusal of taking the picture now. Because now you're making me feel like every time I'm like I'm getting ready, I'm like, Oh, I really want the picture here. Like I can't do it. Why don't you wanna help me out? Why don't you wanna do a favor for me? I do so much for you. If you ask me to go grab you this or

you know, yeah. You know, go to the shops and just grab you something. Like I always want to do something for you'cause I love you and I wanna help you. So why doesn't he wanna help me out? Like it's so much more than just like Or don't don't want to take a pick right now. Like Yeah. I would be sat there like, Does this man hate me? Like he must hate me. He must hate me.

We've got to get a lot of people. There's nothing worse. No, I had it so bad. Yeah. Like just like they drives you crazy. And I think it's even worse when you have some followers I do. Yeah. Because it it it it's like a they don't want you to Okay.

What are the words? They don't want you to build more of a platform. It's like they want to keep They just don't want to help. They don't want to help. They don't want to help you in any aspect of your career or anything. Yeah. And it's like Oh my god, you're just So you need to say to him, so I think we need to get through to him like this is actually way more than

I would just say to him like I don't know why you always make it a problem. Like it's really not a problem. Like It's making me question it. All I'm asking is like Just for you to like take a nice picture of me like when I've like

made an effort and like got my nice dress on for the evening. Like I just like you to take a picture of me. I don't know why this is kind of like a recurring problem for us. Like I just don't really understand. And I think it's such a shame Yeah that Yeah, it's such a bad attitude. Around this like tiny task. It's like why like I just want you to support me for five minutes and to and

you know, take a picture of me at the beach or take a picture of the bigger. But also like does he not walk around and see all the boyfriends on holiday taking pictures of their girlfriends? Yeah, but they're probably secure men who want to take pictures of their girlfriends. But then is he just not like he's he's Oh, I should do it as well then. No, he doesn't want you to shine. He doesn't want you to put it in the middle of the thing.

Boys on the chairs, girls on the benches, boys snapping like this. Any holidays doing it. There's a sunset. Yeah, the boys are up. The boys are up. We're going over there. Yeah. And they're clocked into work. But like So why is your boyfriend not like, Oh, come on then? He's insecure. He doesn't want you to post, he doesn't want you to feel beautiful, he doesn't want you to shine, he doesn't want you to get

De post. He doesn't want you to feel beautiful. I I fear that is it. Mm. And he doesn't want to help you out. Like If you're asking your boyfriend for a favour and he's huffing That's what I mean. Like take the photo out of it. Like ultimately, you are just asking him to do something for you, and he's saying no. Like it's the same as like it's.

morning like you've got to leave in 15 minutes you're rushing to you've got to go to work. Yeah. You said, oh Brian, could you please just make me my ice drink in my to go cop? Yeah. I'd really appreciate it. And I'm I'm really just frazzled this morning. No, wasting my time. Why am I gonna do that? That's exactly what that is. Let's give them other examples. It's just like he they've got these excuses that like

It's a picture or Instagram is the fact that it's a picture and it's a view and it's like And it's like they think it whatever. But it's exactly that old waste of mind. It's just take the photo out of it. It is the same thing. Or it's or it's this. I've had a long day at work. Yeah, I you know, I've ran over time. It's like I'm coming home. I forgot. You know, he's been at home since six and like

I don't know what I'm having to do. Could you put the other? Hey babe, like could you just like put like some chicken gojons in in in some chicken nuggets and smiley faces. Some chicken nuggets and smiley faces and maybe like cook me some baked beans just for when I better go get back. I'm starving. Like I had the tiny tea. I'm yeah. Craving.

I'm starving. Like I've had, you know, a bad day. You know, Sarah was giving a nightmare today. No, I want you to make that nice chili when you get home. Yeah, he said, Oh no, waste of my time. It's exactly what that is. It's like, well, you're a waste of space actually, because if you're not helping me out in any aspect of my life, what the hell are you here for? What do we do then?

I think next time it happens, strike where the iron's hot, go like this needs to change. This is really unattractive. This is so much more than you would. Just go, what the hell's up with you? Yeah, like this is really unattractive. I think I might go and find a boyfriend who wants to take me some pictures. I would s do you know what I would say? I d I wanna ask her if he if he compliments her because I feel like if she's like, Yeah, no, I he doesn't tell me I'm beautiful and stuff.

It honestly goes hand in hand'cause they don't want you to shine. It's like they don't want to big you up and make you feel beautiful because then you realize that, oh, I can do better than this loser and leave. That's exactly it. That is the psychology. But a secure man compliments that go, Oh my god, you're so beautiful. Oh my god, look how gorgeous my girlfriend is and it's like this they want you to feel beautiful. But it's such a shame that everything else is so great.

Like great relationship, best friends, like families love him. Like he sounds like he really takes care of you. Like it doesn't The two don't really go hand in hand. It's cause usually like the boyfriends who don't want to take pictures of you are the nasty, shitty boyfriends. Not usually but the the great lovely boyfriends.

But yeah, a man can still be a loser even if he's buying you loads of stuff and upgrading your flights. Do you know what I mean? Unfortunately. I think all you can do is maybe let him know How much, how important this is to you. And don't let him make you feel like it's a stupid thing to like care about. This is making me doubt you as a person. Like let him know the severity. Yeah. And then hopefully

He would then come correct and be like, Oh, really like I didn't realize it was that thing. Like, of course. Like, okay, like and maybe that you're giving him the opportunity then to change his attitude. Like it It's five minutes of your time, if that, please. But like otherwise, it's like, why do you actually want to fall out about this? Like, why are you fighting me on this? This is such an easy fix for you. This is not This is the easiest thing you could do for me.

This is an honor. Yeah. This is a this is this So why are you trying to fight me? You should take pleasure in this. You've got a beautiful girlfriend, you're on holiday, she wants a picture. This is an honor to be an Instagram boyfriend. Bow down. Like Take take pride in your own. Take it aid. Take pride in your role. Take pride in your work. I your work is your work.

Like it's mental. It's actually mental. Like, have a serious conversation and also maybe have a conversation like ahead of time. Maybe not so in the moment of like Can you take a pic? No of energy like bad mood. Like I'm talking like before we go on holiday.

You're gonna have this discussion. I need to chat to you. And we're gonna have a new attitude and what because I've been there. It ruins holidays, it ruins trips, and it's like This is so dumb because you're making me feel like I'm trying to I'm being really vain and being really stupid and like an idiot and asking for so much when really

This is such a easy fix from you. This does not even have to be an issue, but now thanks to your attitude, you've made it one. But you're telling me it's wasting your time. It's maybe fifteen minutes out of your holiday in total. So yeah. He needs to switch up, otherwise you'll find someone who does want to take pictures of you. While you're having that conversation, it's more trying to manipulate gaslight, flip it on you. Why do you even need pictures?

You don't need to be posting on Instagram. You shouldn't be wearing that for Instagram. You know, shit like that. Then alarm bells need to go bing, bing, bing, bing, ling, ling. Bing a ling.'Cause like that's like controlling weird, like isolating behaviour now. Good luck.

I hope you get some nice picks. Brian, you ain't getting star of the week, no fucking time. Actually, you are banned from Star of the Week. You're banished. Even if you fix up on this photo front, the fact that she's even having to email him to be. Seriously keep us posted? Yeah. She's going to Egypt and Turkey at the end of the year. We will hold out to the city.

This is important. Just break up with him and find a new boyfriend before them and take him. Seriously. And then you'll get some good content. I'm not joking. You'll get candids he didn't even ask for. Go on your own and take your tripod. Like that'd be more than that. And your Bluetooth clicker. But I don't want you doing that when you've got a boyfriend who should be willing to help. Like Okay, right, one more here for Lowe's to take a deep breath. Final point.

God forbid it was a fucking Canon G7X. Like I'm only asking you to use the iPhone. Canon G7X. Also, like what about our wedding day then? We're not getting any pics on that day either? I can't even What about our child's first birthday when she's burned out the candles? Well not first one, but you know. I know I got. Maybe the third. Okay. We've got here.

The end is near. You just put a gravestone emoji. Okay. Yeah. Hi girls. We've got Elvis writing in. Greetings from Las Vegas. Viva! Elvis Vegas. So Elvi, it's a girl, right, Elvi? Sorry, girl. Oh, this this is actual other. Her name's Elvis. No. Oh. She was writing in from Las Vegas. Oh, you just said that. Sorry. I was like, cool name. That's okay. It is such a cool name. Um, this story begins with me and my high school best friend. Let's call him Peter. Peace of a lark. Go Brian. What do we

Do we have a Brian in this room? Or maybe she's new. Let's stick to Peter then. Okay. Something new. It's quite nice. District twelve, let's go. We were best friends since he moved from Germany in his sophomore year. I was a freshman. Imagine growing up in Las Vegas and like yeah I go to school in Las Vegas. Tanamojo core. Right. Did she grow up in Las Vegas? I didn't know that.

We were strictly platonic for four years. People would always tell us we would end up together and we would hit them with a ooh, no, we're more like siblings. Classic. We moved in together to our first apartment right after my graduation. I felt myself starting catching feelings, but I would pretend I didn't I didn't because I didn't want to destroy our friendship.

Taylor's oldest time. We had jokingly gone out to dinner and he told the Wedding Kings it was our anniversary. It was very much like that for an entire year until one night we had our friends over. We all had a few drinks and we were just so close. Yep. One by one, a lot of our friends left and then it was just the two of us. And let's just say the rest was history. Oh, that's a beautiful friends to lovers listen story. Sorry. Obviously things are about to take a turn, but We are now nine years

She with a two-year-old daughter to prove it. He is my person. The person I laugh uncontrollably with, the person I cry to when I feel like my life is falling apart. And the person that helps me dust myself off and pick myself. But we can't forget About the gravestone. I truly thought he was the per oh, that was past tense. I truly thought he was the person I would spend the rest of my life. That's more space for thought. I thought.

He was. Short story long, the problem is he has not proposed. Right. Nine years is quite a long time. Nine years is a long time. We have had countless conversations about how I want to get married and how important it is for me. Yeah. He always says, you know, he'd like to get married as well. And sometimes, you know, he even is the one to bring it up.

When I ask him why he hasn't proposed, his answer is always, I wanna have enough money to give you the ring you deserve and the wedding we both want. Which is a valid Excuse Which I feel like is a reasonable excuse.

Except he could have saved up for it by now. Like he's had enough time. It's been nine years. Yeah. Also, we have a shared bank account. Like, I know how much this man is making. Right. Okay. Also, like I imagine you probably mentioned to h it to him like four years ago. You could have been saving for four years. Well, you've got a two year old daughter at least. Yeah. So if you took it seriously, like, you know, if you really wanted to I don't know.

It might sound vague, but me having to nag about it makes it feel like it's not something he wants. I tell him about how much it sucks to have to explain to people why he's not proposed. It makes me feel like he doesn't actually want to marry me, like there's something wrong with me. Oh no. I can't help but grow resentful and I've caught myself kind of trying to push my feelings for him away.

I've even checked his phone to see if he might be talking to someone else, but his good DMs could not be any drier. I had originally set a cutoff date. Where if he did not propose by then I would break up with him. This was last December. But with the holidays, I thought it would be better to push it to January. Oh, it's been half a year. I don't think you told him about that cut-off date. That was just a date you set in your mind.

And that's like when you set a date to like break up with your boyfriend as well. It's like I'll give it six months. You know, I've sent him pictures of the ring that I want. The end of this trip, right? They're going on a trip. The end of this trip will be my new cut-off date. I would never give him an ultimatum or threaten him with breaking up.

But maybe I should. Like, am I wrong? How do I even approach it since we have a child together? I love him. I'm in love with him. I really wouldn't want to be with anybody else. I just don't think it's healthy for my self-esteem or our relationship. I'd appreciate any advice. Oh my god, look at their baby girl. Oh my god, she's so cute. You're not ready. No. Oh my gosh, he's giving Tate McRae.

Oh Sarah gorgeous and this is Brian's like Brian. Come on, man. This is father of our child. Oh, he looks like you look like husband material, Brian. Like, let's get it. Right. So we've got so yes, she doesn't want to offer an ultimatum because you're gonna feel like you're for you're forcing him Or like I mean then I guess then it's real. Yes. You know? Because it's like if I'm giving you an ultimatum and you genuinely don't propose

I have to walk away. I actually have to stand my word my word and walk away. Otherwise I'm just a tw Like I knew an ultimatum and I've stayed. Yeah. And you're gonna laugh at me. And you're gonna laugh at me. And then you're never gonna propose. Exactly. And I'm just empty threats. So you've got the ultimatum in your head. Well yeah, if you're not feeling like this I think you're valid, I think you've expressed it many times, it's kind of excuse, excuse, excuse.

This is I think there was that basic thing of like when you're in a long-term relationship, like you guys are a family. You literally have a child. You just you just need to have these conversations and be on the same page. Like Even if it's about like, oh, how long do we think we're gonna live in this house for? Yeah. Where do we wanna live? Blah blah blah blah blah. Like

These are just normal conversations that it sounds like you guys talk about getting married and getting whatever. And it's like, you know, we should ask him, like, when do you see us getting married? Like, when would you like to do that for us? Like all this talk about like because at the end of the day.

I'd rather be a little bit more than that. I feel he's just saying like, oh, what like when the time is right, like when when my money's right. I fear that is how but he's answering the question. Yeah. Just like kind of being like You know, you know, when I've got, you know, that much money, absolutely. And it's when I've got X amount.

Or maybe s maybe probably not even saying a mark, it's probably just saying, Yeah, w when the time's right, when the money's right. Mm. What fucking I'm gonna need some more details. Like yeah, like'cause the thing is it's like when you maybe save up you can always think, Oh, well I'll save up more and more you know, it's like there's never going to be You don't have to pro propose to me with, you know, the ultimate dream girl ring. Like

I just want to marry a complete wedding budget. We could be engaged for three years. I don't mind upgrading my ring in five years' time. You know that That's quite you know, that's quite a nice thing to do. Upgrade the ring, get a new ring. Like my mum's like added bands and like on anniversaries, like got a new you know, like that's quite a nice thing to do. So

I don't know. I just think like at the end this is just something that you guys aren't on the same page on. And I don't think like y the relationship is doomed. Like I feel like you guys are probably very happy for the most part. Like you've got your lovely little family. But then in a and it's like I just need you to pull your finger out your ass. Like Maybe he's just very comfortable. Maybe he thinks like, Oh, we've got kids now. Like, you know, like it's not really top like

Getting married and hi a wedding is not his number one priority, is it? He wants to spend his money on other things, maybe things for you as a couple, like maybe houses or whatever, or holidays for your family or whatever. And like that's just not number one, but it's number one for you. So you guys just need to get on the same page about this because I think you're within your o I mean, what are you gonna do that I mean at the end of the holiday?

So but she sounds like she's already she's detaching. That's not normal. To say to us that like I'm trying to stop my feelings or I'm I'm now down to cheating. He's obviously really trying to avoid this and he he's actually really trying to cut corners. He doesn't want to do it. It's quite spoken to like his family about it. Maybe it's probably not spoken about, maybe. Maybe like you would spoke to him about

And also I'm embarrassed now. Well it's'cause it's all that people are watching. Well it's really trying to dodge it. So it's just like, yeah, now you're doubting yourself and I don't like that. Yeah. Like now I'm especially when you know like I really want this. Yeah. Now you're thinking, is he up to no good? Is he like I Your husbut

husband or your boyfriend. He should not be making you feel like that. No. Like fingers crossed on the holiday. H how long these conversations have been going on for. How long has he been putting it off? Because he's not saying that he doesn't want you to know. He's not, which is good, but It's not acting like a few years. You want it within this like this year maybe you are gonna have to give them an automatum.

Well she has in her head. Maybe she needs to say it. Yeah. But she she doesn't want to. But yeah, so but I I imagine she's gonna leave when he doesn't after this holiday. Like that sounds like she's given the ultimatum to him, but not verbally. But not verbally. Yeah.

And all power to you, Sarah. I mean, let us know how it goes, please. Let us know how it goes. We'll either open that email and there's a big fat rock in your finger, we'll go, Oh, you did it Or if you had to leave, you had to leave. You had to do what you had to do because He wasn't listening to you and he he didn't want the same things of you as you ultimately, I guess. I'd love to get into his head. Yeah. Like I'd love to know, like I'm hoping that it's just not that I'm hoping, but like

I really hope that it this is just like genuine like laziness, not really taking it that seriously, as opposed to like this man actually does not want to spend the rest of his life with you. Yeah. But I guess we'll I guess we'll never know. Well hopefully we know so. I mean how'cause it's like how many more conversations can we have about this? Like, you know? Yeah. How many more times do I have to say like, I want this? Like I don't want to keep asking this year. Yeah. You know?

Yeah, and I don't wanna be yeah, and it's like if you don't want to then I might have to go find someone who does want to, unfortunately. You could be engaged in you could yeah, like you could laugh make me laugh as much as y you can and and I love laughing with you, Matey, but

I wanna get married to you and if if you're like resisting that then mm You could just put the wheels in motion yourself and just book a venue and just get going. Just say, Yeah, we're getting married now. We're getting married next year. I'm not waiting for you anymore. Yeah.

You could say that, but then if that's not what you want, Sarah if that's not how you want things not the dream, is it? You don't want if that's not how you want to go about things. It's not the most romantic. Yeah, lock in that plaza a couple of years ahead. I lock down the plaza, but I do wonder what is going through his head. Me too. I hope it's just it's not his priority as opposed to him not him actually like wanting to be with you. Yeah.

But it's like I don't like I don't like that now you're thinking he doesn't want to be with you. Yeah. You know? It's like we shouldn't be feeling that. Your partner should not be making you feel like that, you know?

Good luck, Sarah. I fear we need our star of the week. Let's our star of the week and let's feel optimistic for the second half of the week. Absolutely. Okay, our star of the week this week. This is such a lovely story. So Amelia has written in and she said, I would like to nominate my Brian. Sam Sam the star of the week this week. Me and Sam have been together for five years, and we've just moved into our first home October last year. Nice.

Since moving out I have really missed my family dog and found it very lonely since Sam works long hours and I work at home most of the time. Yeah. My reason for nominating him for Star of the Week is that Sam has Got us a puppy to keep me company, which I am beyond excited about. Look at their little dog. Let me see. Look at all my belly's removal. I think he's a labradoodle. Oh my god, little fluffy puppy. Please call it Brian.

Oh my god. Yeah. It's a commemoration. Maybe it's a c Oh wow. Sam's out here buying Amelia puppy. This is your first child, guys. You're gonna be a family. No, that's really lovely. He doesn't want you to feel lonely, got you some company. Thank you, Sam. What a gem. Thank you, Sam. Thank you, Amelia. Round of applause for Star of the Week.

And on that note Oh a quote a quote. Right. I'm gonna look up ultimatum quote. I mean, this is gonna break some hearts. Oh I found for I found a nice one. Okay, go on. This isn't really relevant to any specific dilemma, but it's just a lovely um thing. Today I learned about a term called a glimmer, which is the opposite of a trigger. Glimmers are those moments in the day that make you feel joy, happiness, peace, or gratitude. Once you train your brain to be on the lookout for glimmers,

These tiny moments will appear more and more. Aww. Glimmers. I love that. I mean th y yeah, this one's doom and gloom. I mean God. Okay. I was trying to wind up the vibes for the NBA, but that's okay. Apparently this is a quote from Mandy Hale. So this is this is Mandy's perspective on the automated. All right, Mandy. Mandy said. Quite simply, the person you're meant to be with will never have to be chased, begged, or given an ultimatum.

Oh God, Mandy's hitting the home truth, isn't she, for our poor Sarah? But she's not offered the ultimatum, yet. Let's look for those glimmers. All right, guys. All right, thank you so much for being here. Happy Wednesday. If you would like a bonus episode, you can get them every single Monday over on Patreon. And you can email your dilemmas and your star of the week entries to hello at the goalsbathroom.com.

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