¶ Funky Panther Episode With Dank817
Does a penis taste like cotton candy ? Um no , oh man . If it is , if it tastes like a beef and cheese from Arby's , I'm fucked Get in here .
We gotta start the show . Want another ?
one buddy . Yeah , I'm down . Hey , so what ?
What is this ? It's like white people elixir .
It's good , though , oh hello everyone and welcome to the Funky Panther Coming to you from Fort Worth , texas . We have got a hell of a show for you here on episode 186 . We have got our man the big shark the man from too high . Dank817 . Yes , sir , it's been a minute since we've had you . You've never been in the new studio .
Oh no , I haven't bro , it's been a minute .
since we've had you , You've never been in the new studio . Oh no , I haven't right , it's just fucking nice as fuck .
Appreciate you . Hell yeah , I did it all myself .
Yeah , you did a good job .
Sit back , relax , enjoy . Let's get into it . I'm Chad , I'm Javier , I'm Tim . We are the Funky Panther . I like that Dank shows up and he's like is this where we ? had it last time . He's like I don't remember pulling up here .
Well , if you recall and I mentioned this in the first 30 , if you don't already do so make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel so you can see all the crazy shit that we talk about on the first 30 .
But in the first 30 , we talked about the last time you were on and miraculously I don't even know how it happened but the video cut out and it cuts back on and then just the room is full of smoke .
Yes , sir , you know what I mean I tend to do that we probably should have prepared better and done it again this time we had a smoke show we had one of those .
Yeah , we did His name's Dank . We had one of those smoke machines man .
Yeah , we did have a smoke machine . His name is Dank .
Yeah , that's my nickname , but we should have planned for that this time too , goddamn fools , you know you got the Big Show . Yeah , dank's wrestling name would be the Smoke Show , smoke Show , smoke Show . Yeah , nice , and just be like this and smoke .
No , for real , that's fucking hilarious so .
Dank , how you been man .
It's been a little bit , bro , man hanging out staying above water um trying to stay creative . Yeah , yeah , man , that's about it staying creative .
Talked about you juggling all the lives . Right , you're working . Yeah , your dad man now , yes , sir , you're still doing all the things with the too high . Oh yeah , you still , uh , doing music and stuff .
Yeah , not as much , maybe , yeah you're busy , but you're still doing it , yeah , just trying to get more back into music because , um , I don't know why , bro , like I had like a confidence thing with with music , out of nowhere . It just kind of came where I was like , oh no people even like I suck .
Well , it wasn't that , because it's just damn too it kind of was . I'm saying like you get that mindset , you're , you're just like because I would .
I it got like it got to the point where I was recording songs and then I was telling the producer like hey brother , this shouldn't even sound good , like I was like you even like this shit and I was like I'm gonna just kind of sit back for a minute .
But then , um , my homie session and eric evans kind of was like you know , like come on , like let's make some music .
And then , like I made some songs , like I did , just did a song with joe for him a feature , so oh yeah , that's pretty cool , but just trying to get my confidence back and dropping music and getting back out there like how I used to be yeah , did you happen to ?
you mentioned eric . Did you happen to go to the uh thing that he was at with ? Um , uh , it's ernie like over there at low down I didn't get to make it to that .
I um , I don't remember what the fuck I was doing , but I just know I didn't get to make it to that .
I really want to go . I was curious because I don't know if I've seen Eric live before .
Yeah , he goes hard bro yeah , I mean I listen to some of the music .
Obviously , he's one of your dudes , but I really want to go . But after being out all day for Arts Goggle , I was like I don't , I'm just , I'm too old for that shit . Like doing all day and night .
I just couldn't do it .
But I was . I was pretty bummed , I wanted to go real bad .
Yeah , yeah , same bro . I didn't get to make it out , I didn't even get to go . Who knows , it happens . It happens , bro . Sometimes you forget where you go .
For us , it's that age , you know , we were like my knees hurt or like you know , I'm sleepy . I want to take a nap . I didn't get drunk . I wish I would have gotten drunk . I was taking care of a cat , but you know that's crazy .
It's not bad not to just not to the studio .
Oh wait , now you can't do that , it's too smoky . Yeah , yeah , I was gonna say I can't do .
I'm like a response . I'm uh .
My girlfriend says I'm like a hover dad yeah but sometimes I wonder , though , like you see parents , I go to some of these music festivals and stuff and you'll see um parents like they're trying to show , like look , we could , we can still do it yeah we can still do it .
And then by the end of the night like you see those same parents and they're just like but it's a lot fucking done , and like they have the kid with them and like I can , I can see it in their face . They're like blaming this child yeah for ruining all their yeah for ruining their life , that's what's happened . I could see it .
You get like and you and I've looked . Man , I've looked in some of these guys eyes like the you know the dads . I've looked at them , they've looked at me , they made eye contact and we talked . We talked through our eyes and he's like straight up like I don't't know what I did .
Bro , that's how I am every time I go to the grocery store .
You see somebody I'm like .
I feel you brother . But , no , I get it , bro , because when we first started taking the baby even the older kid it was kind of more of like fuck , why do we do this ? But once you kind of get it in , get used to it . Because you still got to keep in mind . They have a schedule that they follow .
So , right , as long as you follow the schedule , I feel like you're good , because the last few times we went out with the baby she's been asleep , so you know perfect .
I ran into a friend um at arts goggle a few years ago and he he had just had a kid and he's you know , they're pushing their baby through there and he's like you want to see the best thing about having a kid . And I was like no , yeah , sure . And he like lifts up the back of the stroller and he's got a cooler back there with his drinks .
He's like nobody ever looks in the stroller . Yeah , it's basically like a wagon you can always be carrying . You know what I mean , except you got your kid in there , so no one gives a shit .
Bro , last Saturday the bottom of our stroller was a box of Michelobes and a four-pack from Martin House .
See , it works . Maybe having kids is worth it , for that Maybe it's not that bad .
Nah , you're going to lose some sleep , that's bad for me . You're definitely going to lose some sleep , man . And then you're going to start hearing crying out of nowhere . Bro , that shit's crazy . I'd be hearing babies crying .
I'd be like where's my baby ? Like there's nothing no . Nobody was crying . I hear phantom phone vibrations .
Nah , it's just like a thing , bro . I don't know , that's weird . I think they call it a phantom cry . You just be hearing shit , but it's not really nothing .
I saw on an episode of the Office where Pam comes back to the Office and Kevin hears , like I heard , if you cry in front of a mother she starts lactating . And then he goes up to Pam's titties and he's like wah , wah , wah . And she's like , oh , what the fuck ? You know , like you know , she went lactating .
But I guess another baby cried at the end of the episode . She started like lactating . So is that true ?
You know , I didn't ask and I didn't experience that . To be honest , but I mean . I did experience like random .
Like she would show me like yeah , it was weird . I don't think dank's going around crying at tits . No , I wasn't . It's a weird thing to ask , javier .
Yeah , it was a real weird thing , I don't know where it came from . I had like a whole bro because I watched the baby come out , like I was like , oh really , like I was like with the doctor , like she was like catch her .
I was like , oh my I , I was like you're like a baseball mitt or what no , I was more of kind of like like a tony hernandez coming off the blind , you know what I'm saying . No , it was just weird . So that like I was kind of like on the side , like if this was like the coochie .
Yeah , I was like on the side and then the doctor was like right here , but I was like helping the , my girl and the doctor at the same time and and the baby came out bro . It was like she came out like that and then in my head I was like what the fuck ? And then , like it kind of went back in .
She's trying to get a look and she's like nah , I'm good .
To the top , like right here I'm going back in , and she was like get ready , dad .
¶ Unexpected Home Birth Experience
And then she pushed and that baby just was like , and I was like oh my god . And then I was like what the fuck ? And then the umbilical cord bro , I'll never forget this shit . This shit was warm on my fucking leg . It's a beautiful thing it was , but it was like crazy to me because after I was like bro , like what the fuck ?
And then we just went home after like like right after we went home .
How long did it take before you started crying ?
I didn't cry . I'm not a crier , I'm a man . No , but I didn't cry , bro . I just was more of like damn , like what the fuck ?
We just had a fucking baby . What the fuck ?
Just the way you put it , you're like huh Because you know , Even then , like I didn't plan on getting high , but then my girl . So look , I'm about to tell you what happened . We were supposed to have a water birth Right and my girl was in the the bathtub Doing her thing and she was like Quit fucking staring at me , go hit your pen .
And I was like okay , and I took off running . I went to go hit the pin but I was hitting that hole like harder than you're supposed to hit a fucking THC pin . I came back in all cool calm and I'm like , yeah , I'm ready for this shit . I remember hearing fucking G Herbo playing on the speaker . I was like let's get this shit going .
Then it got to going . I was like , oh my God .
Wow , so you did that on purpose .
You inhaled that like I need to . I need to hit that . I went and hit that bitch like a couple more times , probably like five to six . I ain't gonna lie .
Every time I was told to go , I did it makes sense because you were chill , calm , collected , present , cool , yeah , through it all yeah , I didn't , I didn't like go .
I wanted to . A couple times I want to be like what the fuck ? Because I better . You see some shit when you're down there and I feel like I was in the war , bro .
I feel like I was in World War 2 .
You see some shit Down there , in them trenches , oh my god dude , you got more More heart than I do , cause I think I would've been Like playing Playstation In the waiting room .
There was no TV . There was no TV like kind of crazy to , because you know it happened so fast . Like I said , we literally went back home after they gave us like a little meal you know , but we know we left but we had a like a home birth at a birthing center , like we didn't go to the doctor okay , got it yeah .
So it was a bit different for me from my first kid . Like this shit crazy . I'll never forget that shit , bro . That shit was like bro coochies be opening the fuck up . I don't know , bro . I had a . I got a different respect for women after and they fuck my music up , bro . I can't rap about hoes and shit . No more , man , because now you're like .
You know what I respect . You can't rap about these bitches , and I seen somebody have a baby and it's like , bro , y'all be fucking giving life . yeah , yeah , yeah , like what the fuck ? Respect , you Can't rap about these bitches . And I seen somebody have a baby and it's like , bro , y'all be fucking given life .
Yeah , yeah , yeah . Like what the fuck Do you look at everything a little bit different now .
Yeah .
Yeah , yeah .
Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , cause you know I can't , you can't be doing out , you know , or even just like fucking up and just leaving . It's like where you got like kids , like you just got a responsibility , you know yeah , yeah .
So another . You got one . Are you confident you're like I can go for another one ?
yeah , yeah , man . Um , honestly , if I'm gonna be honest , I I could go for like three more okay , but I'm not right now . I'm not . I'm not , I'm not willing to gamble because I want three more . I want them to be boys , cause I grew up in a house full of girls . I only got one brother , but I got four sisters .
I don't think I can do it again Like another house full of girls . I don't think I can . Yeah , I'll try , but not right now .
Dude , I'll tell you . You said they , they give life .
Yeah , it's crazy you all you do is just and they take care of the rest . It's like you know , it's crazy , it's wild , yeah that shit's fucking crazy , bro .
Like what if we were like seahorses though ? Oh yeah , that would be fucking funny the dudes you know we had to carry just shitting out a bunch of . I don't think we could handle that .
but you know , at one point in time I thought my girlfriend was gonna die yeah , I swear to because she was like I can't do this no more .
And I was like Did she do it like all natural and shit or what ? Yeah , all natural and I was like . Nah .
Dude , I just remember telling her . I was like are you good she's ?
a boss .
I'd be willing to hold the or something , or something . Nice . Yeah , that's real nice . I don't know , texas day , brazil , I mean god for sure I'll take that one yeah , it was crazy , bro , like shout out to her , but shout out to women too , just because that's crazy . They be having babies .
They be having babies dude shout out to women that don't take epidurals like I mean , that's wild , god damn . Or just take it . You know I gotta be numb .
I'd have to be numb . I'd have to be numb , I'd have to have no feeling .
I went through the whole getting my hand squeezed thing .
Or squizzed .
Squizzed . That's not a word I heard that word before .
Squizzed , squizzed .
That's a squish , I could have thought .
I heard that word somewhere . That can't be right . I could have thought I heard that word , that can't be right . Jamie , can you look that up ?
shout out to Vanya . She said she did it natural for both her kids .
So she also said you forgot the last part . It's like death . Yeah , you're crazy . You forgot the last part . Yeah , it was crazy .
Like I said , I was watching everything . I seen everything up close and personal , like I had meta goggles on . You know , I'm saying it was just like do they got that ?
do they got that app on the metal ?
I don't know why don't you look and see ? I'm gonna check . I bet you can watch a youtube video and like it looks like it's no . Thank you , I feel like I didn't blink the whole time .
It's right up there like I couldn't yeah , that's how I felt and then you know , after we went home like I said , after we went home directly , I just remember I was like what the fuck just happened like what the fuck do you think that ?
that's because of how many times you hit the pin and it made you like kind of in that or do you think you'd be like , if you were , if you were totally sober , do you think you'd be saying the same thing ? Yeah , bro it was .
It was like I think the pin just really enhanced my like what the fuck ? Meter , because it was like if I was sober I probably wouldn't have been able to handle some of that shit yeah , I can , I can believe that when I was like hi , it was kind of like , okay , gross , but I can't move .
You know , I'm like helping , and then it's like I'm right here already and like stuff's getting on me and I'm like , and then you know what was nasty ? Like the nastier part the lady kept . She showed me like the placenta . Oh yeah , bro , that shit was like fucking it's wild like a jellyfish . I can't even think of the movie I watched .
It could have been a spongebob episode where he had a flashlight and he flashed like some type of nasty shit on top . It was just like nasty looking and it smelled weird . But you know what was crazy ?
you know those cost a lot , yeah yeah , placentas , yeah and the lady asked us if we wanted to keep it , and I just was like , maybe we want to sell it , did you ? No , I didn't want nothing to do with that .
That's , uh , that's uh , you , they dry it out right and they eat it . Put it in pills , put in pills or stuff , yeah , for their hair .
For their hair . It's apparently like Really good for your body , it's got like stem cells and all that stuff in it . Yeah , smells weird .
Just don't tell me you did it Like I , just the thought of that yeah . I'm not gonna do it . I mean , I would never do that .
I mean , I probably would If you didn't tell shit's tough , like fucking , it's like leather man yeah , like rubber , like rubber leather . Yeah , it's weird rubber leather .
Yeah , they gave me some scissors , I've delivered , uh , I've delivered one . I've delivered one baby it's real warm , that was enough we got , we got a toilet baby too , and and that one was already delivered , so toilet , baby yeah , sometimes people think that they're . They don't know they're having a baby and comes out in the toilet . It happens .
Yeah , I delivered one . That was enough for me . I was like I don't need to do this ever again Baby talk , baby talk , All right let's pivot , shall we ? You're wearing Too High merch . Yes , sir , tell us , before we get into the upcoming event , what is Too High .
¶ Too High Lifestyle and Events News
Too High . You know it's just a cannabis club cannabis lifestyle . You just a cannabis club cannabis lifestyle . You know , we're just a movement group of people all enjoying the flower . We just meet up and have fun .
Who all are a part of Too High .
So it's me Big Dank , big Shark the CEO , my boy Kinky K , the other CEO . You know we kind of half and half .
He's the one having all the parties , though , so we kind of half and half .
He's the one having all the parties , though man fucking Kinky's the one down there turning up right now , but I haven't been to none of the parties .
I mean , that's a hell of a drive . What is that like ?
seven or eight hours , something like that I used to go before I was involved in all this I'm in now . I used to go all the time Involved For real bro . I situations now it's like shit . I used to go to south podger all the time and turn up . You know we used to have shows and it's just popping down there too high . It's popping down there .
We got brand ambassadors um , I ain't even gonna lie , I don't know their names because they're from down there . You know it's more of like a I don't , I try to keep up but shit with too high kind of moving real fast . So but yeah , we got brand ambassadors .
Man , this shit moving , this shit jumping right now hell yeah , y'all still doing the the magazine yeah , we got the magazine . We just started a ? Um instagram page for that . Um , I'm pretty sure it's called too high magazine . I'm not really ceo yeah , it's kind of kinky started kinky . Uh , it's kind of more of a kinky thing like this kinky shit .
I don't really keep up with kinky , he kind of do his own thing . But yeah , the magazine is going good . I know I've been trying to look for like actual like , to get it actually printed up and going , but it's kind of a task Right now . It's all online , right ? Yeah , everything's strictly online on TooHotTexascom .
That's awesome .
Hell yeah , I think we're on like issue three four nice maybe even five ? No , I'm not really sure yeah , so this past year .
So I went to . I've been to a couple of your events , but the one I remember was the one with the , the taco truck and everything like that , yeah , that shit was fun .
I had a great time , um , and then I was like man , I can't wait till the next one , and I feel like it's just been like a dozen down near south lauderdale they've just all been down there .
Um , like I said , kinky been down there turning up bro , they just um , they had the original , the first tiny sesh which we're doing , the tiny sesh two here in fort worth . Um , we had the too high arcade down there , yeah , um , all the pop-ups have been down there , which that's what we've been doing a lot of pop-ups down there .
um , I just haven't had really no free time really to do anything up here , but I got got some now , so we're going to do it . That's why we're doing the event .
And yeah , bro , I'm just really trying to do more up here because at first our first couple events were like I said , they were up here , but man , it's just , you know , you got to feed the crowd and the crowd was down there .
I feel you , so what can you tell us about the upcoming event ?
Oh , that shit's going to be lit bruh . It's called the Gas Station Texas . It's a new THC , aids , cbd , like one of those legal dispensaries . Yeah , it's on fucking November 16th . It's kind of like the tiny sesh , like tiny desk , but no desk , just straight sesh . You know what I'm saying . But yeah , it's free . It's a free show , pretty much .
We got trustee low um slug d low and north , just three artists um session djing , what the fuck else ? Oh , oh , we also have a it's called proud . We have like a proud to pay thing , so we are selling tickets as well . But it's just all profit goes straight to the artist um it's 30 , which you get access to .
We'll have a smoke lounge for you to watch the show at , out of pretty much Comfortable couches TV , air conditioner , all that nice shit . You get free beer . Martin House sponsored the event . So that was cool , fucking A Hell . Yeah , shout out to Martin House , dude .
Martin House is the shit they sponsor , all the cool shit .
You know what they really the fuck are and you know what's crazy Martin House is like even them sponsoring events . They have fucking good ass , fucking beer .
Yeah , yeah .
So it's kind of like man dang Shout out to those guys . I'm glad I knew them . Glad they helped out . Are you still doing the kickball man ? And you know what we , what we just talked about doing that the other day . Um , so I guess I could tell it here . I'm sure foe will probably kind of who cares ? You know , we talked about that shit .
Yeah , uh , kind of doing it more of tournament style because we didn't really want to do like too high versus full step go again yeah um , which the people I know . I talked to the dudes up at santo's tacos .
They were down to play and I was telling fall like , maybe we can find some more people to get more teams , like you know and maybe make a whole day out of it .
So that's yeah , yeah , like you said , a whole tournament format if somebody get a too high trophy yeah , because you know , when we had the last one , um it went , it went good .
Honestly , we had it like real , legit , like it was up in a actual field man .
I heard there was a bunch of cheating allegations man , let me tell you something about them bro we was whooping , I guess they would say we was cheating because we was winning .
So I don't really know see how we was cheating . If we was winning , why do we have to cheat ? It wasn't no fucking hard game . Hey , if you ain't cheating , you ain't winning . I mean , you ain't cheating , you ain't trying , that's right .
But if we didn't have to cheat because we was already up before , like we took the break , it was like fucking 15 to 0 man see someone just say you're just playing hard , that's all it is , yeah but no , it was cool , bro . We had a halftime show .
Yeah , we had a band , damn , I don't even want to lie who it was , I don't even remember what those , those boys were there , right ?
I want to say , yeah , they were there , right .
I want to say yeah , they were there . Yeah , Jose , Did he play on the team ? I saw Grizzly played on the team . If that's his real name it's Jose .
His legal name's Grizzly . Saw them at TX Whiskey . I forgot about that Friday night for Grizzly's birthday .
You know , I went and then at the door they was like we're not selling tickets , no more . No , uh , swear to god a tx . And then I was behind somebody they sold a ticket to motherfucker first off you don't have to buy a ticket , you just go straight to the bar .
I did that shit . I went around for jesus when he performed yeah I went right around . I didn't even know where I was supposed to go . They're like , yeah , go over here .
I'm like okay , and I went the opposite way and I just walked in well , it was packed because they were doing the they were doing like a screening or screening whatever they had . Hocus Pocus on , and so they had a lot of people in the back .
Oh , all the white moms were over there , oh yeah .
But I just now walked up and they was like what are you here for ? And I was like , oh , it's my homie's birthday . And they was like you got a ticket . And I was like cannot buy one . And they I was like hearing the person in front of me and she's like , yeah , I just sent it , you know like we're not selling tickets , no more .
But it was like I wasn't really tripping because I was like I'm not , it's seven streets like I'd rather not be here anyway .
Yeah , but yeah it happened like hey , this racism is still out about , huh wow , that's crazy but you know what ?
I didn't even look at it as racism , I just look at it as , like you know what ? I didn't even look at it as racism . I just look at it as like you know what Wait you were at TX .
Whiskey . I went the golf course , or did you go to Texas Republic ?
No , texas Whiskey . Okay , you said 7th Street .
I'm like this isn't on 7th Street .
No wait , tx Whiskey . I just not went and they wouldn't let me in , because I was even talking to fucking Juan . Yeah , because he's like bro , I'm sorry , you're like , I don't know . He's like I'm right here at the gate and I was like bro . They ain't letting me in . Oh , that sucks .
Man , I'm sorry . Well , it was pretty lame , if you're not . I mean it wasn't lame because of the weather was nice , it's a nice patio , but it wasn't like he was getting crazy or anything like that .
Yeah , like I said , I wasn't really tripping either . I went and got food after Nice .
Nice .
All right , I want to bring up something real quick . Okay , so we kind of hinted at it earlier today , earlier this morning . I feel like we've been here for all day , use your words . We hinted on it during the first 30 , but I stopped Javier and he wanted to basically send flowers to Joe Exotic .
Oh , yeah , yeah , yeah I almost said Exotic Joe .
Joe Exotic , that's his other name . So Joe Exotic is engaged . What To another inmate at the federal prison ? Oh boy yeah yeah , joe's been uh joe , joe's been uh into the guys busy beaver that joe exotic , yeah , so uh , he got engaged to um to a latino man . Yeah , because joe joe has a , joe has a type right , right , you know .
So joe speaks spanish if you did not know , yeah , so if you didn't know .
So I got a story .
¶ Trump Rally With Tony Hitchcliffe
A friend of mine was running a . They got sent to the prison . They had to go take a sick person out of there and Joe Exotic happened to be there and the prisoner they were trying to take out spoke Spanish . Well , the guy that was going to pick him up is Hispanic but does not speak Spanish .
And .
Joe made fun of him . This dude got made fun of by joe exotic for not speaking spanish . That's that , that's fucking wild , that's awesome . Um , anyways , yeah , so uh , if you don't know , joe exotic is the tiger king right , so right he is uh , he is engaged to jorge marquez mendez . What says jokes ? I Joe Exotic . Meet Jorge Marquez .
Oh .
Is what this says . He is 33 . He is so amazing and he's from Mexico . Now the quest of getting married in prison and getting him asylum , or we be leaving America when we both get out . Either way , I wish I would have met him long ago . What is he in jail for ? So Joe Exotic's in jail .
I don't know what he's in jail for , but Joe Exotic's in jail for a murder for hire .
How long do you go to jail for ?
that he's got 21 years .
Maybe you should get less . I think , so he ain't really do it . That's the whole thing .
He's saying that he actually wasn't trying to hire anybody , but he tried to hire . He told an FBI agent he was trying to hire . He wasn't hiring him .
so Okay , so I do have news on why the other guy was in jail . Okay , immigration issues .
Oh Well , he shouldn't be in jail . He shouldn't be . Could have thought of that he should just be thrown back across the border .
Yeah , why did they ?
just do that . Why did they just do ?
that I mean , don't put him in jail .
Poor guy , just throw him over like in a catapult , that's what happened , though ?
right , I thought they . I thought that's how they get him back . Is that not how they do it ?
It's all catapult Launch over illegal . They just sent you as . Yeah , I think they kept him in jail .
So you just launch them like launch them in a catapult you land into the , the real , grand and I know somebody who was almost got deported back to africa , even though they were from france .
No , yeah , what is my .
That's a round of okay , wait a second .
Almost went back to africa , even though they're for france , but they're getting deported regardless my , yeah , my cousin , cousin's baby daddy is from France , but I guess on his birth certificate , or whatever , it says Africa or whatever . And they were going to send him back to Africa and he ain't never been there . That's wild .
No , no , no , send me back home . France is okay , but I don't know , I don't want to go there .
I mean , I'm sure he probably lived there when he was younger and all that shit , but I just thought it was crazy like damn they're gonna send you to africa .
A majority of the french national soccer team is actually they're from , I thought you was a french , nigga .
No you was african oh fuck what was that on ? I don't know that was on something I don't know .
I thought I just made that no , I heard that somewhere .
No , you never heard of . Yes , I did . If that , if I did .
I didn't mean to steal it , I thought I just made that up . No , I heard that somewhere . No , you never heard it before . Yes , I did . If I did , I didn't mean to steal it , I thought I just made it up .
So also on this whole celebrity thing , Trump just had a rally . Have you seen that shit ? So Trump's opener was Tony Hitchcliffe .
Kill Tony , kill Tony .
Shout out to Kill Tony man . So did nobody vet Tony Because what he did like I listened to the whole thing . Did y'all end up watching the whole ?
thing , I listened to it . So I ended up listening to it this morning .
It was fucking funny . I don't think it was funny . I think it was right up his alley . He's a roast comedian , right he ? Right , he roasted everyone . Why would you have a roast comedian open up ? He's like he . He followed the national anthem .
Does that seem like a thing to do ? Trump been on the run , though he was just on joe rogan and I think he was even on theo vons podcast he was on the nose everywhere .
He wasn't there with the nut boys he was with that andrew schultz .
He was with andrew schultz , oh yeah , and he's supposed to be on the main , the god too , he's supposed to be on with us next weekz he was with Andrew Schultz , oh yeah , and he's supposed to be on Charlemagne the God too . He's supposed to be on with us next week . Was he with Charlemagne the God ? Because ?
that's Andrew Schultz and Charlemagne the God have a podcast together , right but he was with another dude .
It was him and another white dude , but I don't think it was with him and Charlemagne I know charlemagne .
I think she did his show so joe rogue was trying to get kamala on uh , but she didn't like a tight schedule or something .
Yeah , made it difficult , trump made time hey , but I'll tell you what the entire state of puerto rico . They want to kill that motherfucker all right , so he killed tony .
They want to kill him , so here's . Here's the thing .
I've got some clips I'm gonna play real quick , even people that Nicky Jam , all those reggaeton people that were going for Trump .
They're like , yeah , we ain't about that , no more are you going to play the clip , or should I tell the joke real quick ? I'm going to play the clip real quick . The kill Tony one yeah okay , so let me pull that up . I'm just going to do it over here .
A political rally and you're doing jokes like you're in a comedy club . It doesn't , you can't .
Don't do it .
I don't know if you guys know this , but there's literally a floating island of garbage in the middle of the ocean right now . Yeah , I think it's called Puerto .
Rico . I'm going to tell you , that joke kills at comedy clubs . I don't like the joke kills at comedy clubs . I don't like the joke , it kills . And I said to him I don't . It's just like if you're puerto rican and you hear that in the audience , like oh , it's a funny joke , the joke does well .
But I said to him I go , dude , that's the one's gonna get you stabbed a political route . Yeah , so that was the one that like really hurt him the I don't even want to kill .
I can't , I can't no , can I repeat ?
can I repeat what he said ? Yeah , for sure . Okay , I'm gonna repeat what he said . So did you see the part ? There was a ? There was apparently a black guy sitting down like close wearing a hat , like a weird hat , and he's like look at the hat that he's wearing . Whatever he's like , no , that's my friend . We uh had a halloween party .
We carved watermelons together and I was just like , oh , my god , that's what kill tony does , right , I know , I know just not at a political rally Not at a political rally , but that's the thing . There is Kill Tony . That's like if they invited Orlando Brown and he started doing some weird shit up there , and it's like what the fuck did y'all expect ?
I know , I'm just saying whoever booked him made a huge mistake . Yeah , that was just a poor judgment .
And If they invited Jeff Ross , there would have been no difference . Like Kill , Tony did what he got paid to do , Exactly no .
I agree . I don't think that anyone should cancel him . So Trump's been going , he's not going to get canceled . He might have a little shit for a little while , but he's not going to cancel .
I don't even think he can . But Trump came out and said something you can't give Kill Tony .
No shit , somebody said there was a comedian , that or something , and I have no idea who it was , never saw him , never heard of him and don't want to hear of him , but I have no idea . They put a comedian in which everybody does . You throw comedians in , you don't vet them and go crazy . It's nobody's fault , but somebody said some bad things .
Now what they've done is taken . Somebody that has nothing to do with the party , has nothing to do with us , said something and they try and make a big deal , but I don't know who it is .
I don't even know who put him in . I mean , listen , I don't want to get all political , even though like election's right around the corner , but like he never takes responsibility for fucking anything , it's your rally . I want to know who signed him to come to Madison Square Garden .
I , who signed them to come to Madison Square Garden . I want to know .
Because you know that person . I'm sure Trump has fired that person off the campaign . Listen , if we ever got big enough where we had a Funky Panther event . You better fucking believe we're going to know who's involved and what's going to happen . Okay , I want to know what comedian would you want opening up for our Funky Panther ?
rally Funky Panther . Yeah , funky Panther , rally Funky Panther .
Yeah , funky Panther rally . Yeah , it's been a while since we got each other on a mishap .
There's going to be some dude named Cletus Cousinfucker , and he's going to be like all right guys . Hal Hitcher , Hal Hitler . Oh my God , Don't forget to tip your waitresses .
No , that's the comedian you want .
I mean , I would laugh .
What comedian , same what comedian .
But what ? No , legitimately , like a political thing , are we running for office as the funky panther ? But I mean , I think you gotta be .
The three of us are running for president at the same time like I think there's some really good comedians that don't do the shit that tony henscliff does if dave chappelle would have said that , nobody would have bro kill tony .
I watch kill tony every fucking monday , bro , it's great . I like Kill Tony because I like me personally . I like whenever comedians it don't matter their race , they just going to say whatever they want , right .
And I like when Kill Tony make fun of black people because it's like , bro , you fucking you funny as hell for that shit , because you know what , and you can see the people in the background laughing and everything .
Like it's Kill , I'm gonna ask you this real quick because I I truly believe this . I think you've got two . If you're gonna bring in race into into comedy , right , it's either out of a place of hate or love oh right and you can tell .
I think you can tell and like whenever I watch tony , I think it's it's out of a place of love , like he's just roast , like it's just like two friends roast each other right it's not like kramer you know what I mean , like the very two different things .
Yeah , because I can watch some like facebook clip of some random white dude doing comedy and he's saying some racist shit .
It's like yeah , but like you listen to the conversation that that tony's having with you , know the individual on the stage and but then you go back and , like for context , you listen to every interaction he's had with anybody , right , and it doesn't matter what you are ? He's just gonna he's gonna fuck you up .
That's what's happening like kill tony , it don't matter like race and abilities handicaps lack of abilities yeah give a fuck , bro , he gonna talk and you know what I like about kill tony . He'd be bringing up like if people done drugs and they're like sober , he'd be like . So tell us about your meth addiction . You had 20 years ago Like fuck bro . Remember how
¶ Comedian Selection for Funky Panther Rally
good it felt ? No , like literally , I know it's like bro , this guy's fucking crazy , yeah .
so I mean whoever got Tony on there fucked up . There's a lot of fairly clean comics that could have done like Pete Holmes not that I'm saying he would go do Trump . Well , you've got to find somebody who's willing to , or like Nate Bregazzi or something like that . I'm sure there's pro-Trump type comedians that somewhat fit that realm You've never seen .
Nate Bregazzi . Is that a white guy ? Yeah , of course it is . Let me tell you something , bro . Well , you know what's crazy ? Me being mixed race , I only watch black comedians and Mexican comedians . I just can't really get to the white dudes but kill tony's . Funny as fuck to me , but I don't know .
I like uh , now motherfucker , yeah , but you know what I like .
That one dude , uh , I think his name is chris de stefano .
Yeah , yeah , that's the name , yeah is that his like name , yeah yeah
I like him but . And then , when he like to all these other dudes that come on to kill tony , I'm like who the fuck ?
is this white guy ? But ?
apparently they're like famous and shit , but I was like who the ?
fuck is this rocket ?
man was on one of them , though . Oh yeah , I think his name was like casey rocket .
Oh yeah , no , no , no , no um the actor that was in how high oh , um , you mean a method man no harlan oh , harlan williams , yeah , he was on the last , kill tony harlan's funny man ? He's yeah , and you know what that's . Kill , tony , is how I figure out . These white dudes are funny Harlan .
Williams , like you don't really see . But who are you going to have ? I'm saying like , okay , here's a setup , right , yeah , so somehow just the Funky Panther is running for president , so the three of us are going to be the president .
Okay .
Where three collective head makes one body right . Okay , three dudes in a trench coat , three kids in a trench coat , yeah , so we're going to be the president , but what comedian are you getting to do our rally ?
Sure , I mean , I think that if we're like going legit and we want to be strategic and like politically correct , then , yeah , you go with yourself like a Nate Bergacci or something like that , someone that is hilarious but also knows how to like keep it tame-ish , because I'm kind of with javier , I think louis ck up there .
Nah , bro , you gotta get shane , gillis yeah , shane gillis is great that's who I think is a funny white guy .
Yeah , he's fucking holy I just want him up there just making the face . You know the face , that's all he does . Have you seen his ?
trump impression yeah , bro top dude on kill tony and then the guy who plays dr ph Phil .
Dr Phil yeah .
Man bro , I don't care what nobody say , kill Tony , put all these white dudes on Even though they've been famous if it wasn't for Kill Tony , a lot of people wouldn't know about them .
Yeah , I feel like If it wasn't for Joe Rogan , a lot of people wouldn't know who Kill Tony was . No facts , that's true . Kill tony was through joe rogan podcast . It's wild . What else do you have , tim ? That's all I got on those two , but I wanted to ask . So I keep getting fucked up with tiktok shop . Oh , no , timo , what'd you get now ?
So I bought some new underwear and I'm gonna ask you if you , if , okay , look , that's crazy , here's what . I didn't buy it on tiktok , though . I saw it on tiktok shop and I was like I'm gonna see if amazon's got it , because I wanted it a little bit quicker . Okay , all right , do you fuck with the underwear that separates your ?
shit . Oh yeah , Wait , what do you mean ? It's got a little pocket down there .
They got a little pocket , oh , for your nutsack . Yeah , yeah , yeah . So I got a new one . That's not just a pocket for your nutsack , it's got a hole for your , for your , for your stick too . So your stick goes in one pocket and your nuts are in another pocket , so you got two pockets going on down here . Listen , I'll be real with you .
How often are you like you just twist wrong ?
are they comfortable ? Dude they are so fucking comfortable because you know I'm with you on that .
You know I'm telling you , you know all of a sudden you're in one pocket and you gotta like you know how many times I have to oh no it's not like that , it's not like that . David Archie . We're not even sponsored . Not sponsored , but David Archie underwear could be David Archie , david Archie , look that shit up .
So the ad I said is like pocket underwear this is for like they said it's for normal , like if you're normal size , you could probably fit . This is what got Tim and I was like , by the way , he says this , but that was the cell and I was like I'm normal , I'm normal , I love you . But they got different sizes . Let me try .
No , no , they just got that one size man and that's the problem .
You're like you can't fill it out . You're like , oh well , fuck if you're a bigger guy man you're not do they have things like is like one of them .
It looks like a monkey holding a banana . It's like a little Chiquita banana and that's what you put it in . Or is it like a elephant trunk , but it's just a little bit shorter than it should be . No , it's straight up like it looks like regular underwear , but inside you've got like a hole and then you've got the little cup thing down here .
It should be this direction . It's like a hole .
You know what that reminds me of ? There was this kid with the Chappelle show . They were showing pictures of famous people and it was I don't know if you remember in Dave Chappelle they had the player haters ball , yeah , and they had one . They were showing celebrities pictures and they showed one of Rosie O'Donnell's like
¶ TikTok Shop Underwear and Dick Holes
she looks like she got underwear .
So here's the thing , though . I remember we had a conversation about this one time do you use the flap in your underwear to piss , or do you go over the top and a lot of people go over ?
no one uses the flap , so I've always been a flat .
I've always been a flap guy , serial killer . I know you're not wrong . You have to . You have to use the flap no one uses the flap . No on these you have to because you can't just like , because now you're having wrong , you have to use the flap . No one uses the flap . No on these . You have to .
Because you can't just like , because now you're having to like pull it out of this hole and stuff . It's weird . What is there like trap doors in there ? There's trap doors . I'm telling you , the whole thing , the whole thing's wild . I don't get it . I don't get a pot like a . There's a pocket in a pocket on this one .
I'm telling you this one doesn't have what .
You just call it like a window , like what is a dick hole ? Well , it doesn't have like . So , you know , like the normal one , you just like separate it , right , yeah , this one you gotta pull up . Oh , it's like a , it's like a , it's like the trunk of a car , is it ?
it like the old timey underwear , like gown , where it had the square hole in the back for you to take a shit out of you undo the button ? Has anyone ever used those in history ? Because I feel like if you're going to take a shit back there , you're going to have shit on your ass and your clothes .
You would think that would be really popular with the gay community .
Here's the other thing that's getting me , though . I saw this and I'm not gonna , I'm not gonna buy it . I'm not gonna buy it , okay , but man , like , I'm like .
So I'm wearing an adult , I'm wearing a onesie right now oh yeah I'm wearing a onesie , but it's a dickies it's a dickies onesie but they've got short versions of not dickies but like I've been seeing on tiktok , that was a thing like three or four years ago the male rompers they're coming back really , and I was kind of curious about it , but you know you
can't be freaky nowadays .
Man diddy in jail for being free .
I'm not gonna get him , but like who was it ? Thanks a lot did you ruin , was it ?
no , you can't be no freak . No more , tim Was it .
DJ Envy . That said , ain't nothing wrong with being freaky . He's a freak , yeah , and he's also under investigation for tax evasion . I think he'd be letting his woman Tax evasion's . Okay , though she can do whatever she wants after what he did he cheated on her . He cheated on her . She can do whatever she wants .
I don't condone cheating all I'm saying is , like tiktok's been , they've been on their game here lately yeah and everybody like , for some reason I guess it's because I've been I actually watch the videos . So now I'm in this algorithm thing , yeah , yeah , and I get stuck in it . And so now I see all these paid advertisements for underwears with dick holes .
Exactly now there's another brand and it looks just like the same ones . Like right , that's what happened . So you've been seeing a lot of dick prints .
They also have that underwear too . They're like oh yeah , if you don't feel like you feel you're mad enough . My boyfriend wears this thing that makes his dick look bigger . What ? Yeah , it's , and it's like wear gray shorts with them .
I'm like build a boat what algorithm are you boys on ? I don't know what the fuck ?
I saw this . I didn't go to penis talk . I did not go to penis talk .
I didn't either , but I also ended up on cartel talk and that's if you haven't been on cartel , talk that shit's wild yeah , it's kind of because different algorithms dude I'm watching this I'm sitting there flipping through here and all of a sudden I see this video of , like , there's a white guy flying a plane and there's a bunch of hispanic dudes in the plane
with lots of money , yeah , and all of them wear a mask and all of them have jewelry . Where are they going exactly ? And how I ended up on that , that side of tiktok , I don't know . But I've also ended up on prison tiktok too .
Okay , that's I like prison prison tiktok's actually pretty cool the actual food cooking prison ?
no , no , they're no , they're like well , I've seen that , but they're actually in prison making it so like you got the guy like . So there's one dude that I watched a lot that was like just making stuff , He'd been in or whatever , but now he's out and he's just like acting like he's in and cooking food .
I think I watched that guy , but I've seen it now . Where they're actually is like it's a cell . They got the metal toilet water fountain going on and they're over there like making them boys in the feds , right they're making real shit .
They're making food in there and I'm like bachi bro , you know I have a friend like my actual friend I went to high school with . Is is one of them kind of people .
He went viral and he's in like the penitentiary good like fucking d-lock or whatever , like he was bro , he posted a video of them like fucking making quesadillas and shit yeah , you can make a whole like tv cooking show based off of just that and we're getting a fucking great , and he's just casually posting it dude I love it , I love those videos because they
I seen it where .
Yeah they , they make hibachi like they flip the bed over and off the grates . They just like heat it up and cook their I learned what a stinger is .
That shit's , that shit's crazy . So they cut like the wire and split it up and that's what they use to heat their water . So they've got , they got some like exposed ass wires and they're just shoving in a cup and heat up the water .
Man hey man , uh , what is it ? Uh , what were you ? Macgyver ? Yeah , macgyver , that shit , right , that's , that's 100 , what , uh ?
what like prison is now ? It's like it's like everybody's macgyver and some shit in there . Yeah , I'm here for it bro , my tiktok .
All I see is people cooking . I see funny ass pranks and I haven't been on prank tiktok what the fuck else do I see on tiktok ? I see I watch these like . I guess like streamers they be beefing with each other . I watch a lot of that in 20 versus one TikToks . Oh , I like those it's just hard not to watch sometimes .
I've been coming across this one streamer . He's been streaming God of War , playing it , whatever , and the dude's kind of a hefty guy and he's got across it . It says God of Fat equals ban , so I guess people were calling him God of Fat or whatever .
And so I'm of fat equals ban , so I guess people were calling him god of fat or whatever , and so , like I'm just watching to see what people and some of the like , the things that people are coming up with , the like skirt that word it's just funny , so like I saw god of girth . That was a good one .
Um , there was another one talking about like how he's like the god of snacks and just random shit .
I'm like the funniest streamer is this guy named john breaks bad news oh yeah , I want to pay someone .
I want to pay him , bro , top three have you ?
what have you seen him ?
no , oh bro , you gotta watch that shit he calls this is uh john john breaks bad news .
Uh uh , funky , wanted you to know that you're a piece of shit and that you rely on your parents too much for their money and , uh , you need to learn how to talk to women and also you have a small dick , yeah , and the person will be like huh , he just calls and like breaks bad news afterwards he'd be like okay , I love you yeah okay love you
the other one of the other . The other side of tiktok I've gotten on to as well , is family court Okay .
Yeah , I'll be watching that shit too . It's intense bro .
It gets wild . So people are like they're going for child custody or whatever , or saying that you need to pay more child support , and sometimes that judge is like what do you mean he needs to pay more child support ? He's covering all like their insurance . They're doing all this and all that .
In fact , I'm actually gonna reduce this and I'm like damn yeah , they do shit like that or they'll like matter of fact , I'm gonna make you pay yeah it's . Yeah , yeah , I watched it .
You gotta get I know you don't do the tiktok that much . Yeah , no , I don't . But you know , last week we were talking about like ads and things like that that get you and one got me recently .
Was it a beeria bomb ? No , was it get blitzed ? It got me those Get blitzed .
That one gets me every time I've been reposting .
I've been reposting them . We've all played the game , we've all had a good time .
We've all got you missed . You missed the mark on that one . Fuck watch football get blitzed . No , so there was uh and I know I'm late to the game here because they've been doing this for a while . I just not been interested dick holes under your underwear .
No , uh , the mushroom coffee .
Oh , the mud , are you doing ?
Mud it was one called overdose or something under dose , something no-transcript , but I was like , but it was a really cool imagery and I'm like , okay , you got my attention Until I clicked on it just to see what it was , because I was actually curious if it actually had caffeine , because it mentioned coffee and it's like , yeah , it has coffee , it's got mushrooms
, it's got all this different stuff . Keeps you like your stomach good , but it also still has caffeine .
I'm like , oh cool , and so I like left it , and then all of a sudden to your point earlier , like I started getting like mud , and like there's 12 other brands that are all doing the same fucking thing . How could they sell that , though , if mushrooms are illegal , but it's ?
not like those mushrooms . No , not those mushrooms .
Like linesman and shit like that .
Yeah like the mushrooms that like enhance your mood your , your brain , your gut aren't those still illegal ? No , those are the really , those are the non illegal , those are normal mushrooms you get those at the fucking store they don't make you they don't get you high , though they don't like right none of this gets you high .
That's called brain power , right ? How about hornswoggle ? You know what ? Yeah , they do .
The wrestler , the midget leprechaun yeah and like , since all these ads came up , I'm like , alright , you know what ? I'm gonna go back to the OG . That made me click the first time . So I went on Amazon and got me some whatever the dose thing was alright and I got it today , so I'm gonna check it out tomorrow .
I'll come back next week .
I wanna know . I'll let you know how it was . What is it ? Brain power ?
so I've seen .
I've seen the mud like so it's .
It's like got cacao , so it has like a chocolate taste .
Yeah , it's got water . No , for real that's called mud water . But hey , hold up , is flint michigan's water still it's still fucked up is it really ?
I don't mean to laugh , but like , yeah , flint michigan , hold up . I thought obama said he was gonna fix it .
How long has it been ?
Years . Actually Is it more than five . Yeah , that's more than five .
There was a .
Holy shit . There was a documentary where Everyday Dose I was listening to a Freddie Gibbs song and he said his cousin was still sick from drinking the Flint water and I was like no fucking way .
This shit's still like that . Shout out to flint everyday dose , so it's called everyday . It's got coffee , mushrooms , collagen , protein and nootropics collagen . Yeah , yeah , you know nicotine's a nootropic right no it is nicotine , like teen , yeah it's crazy how like nicotine is now good for you , dude . Okay , so nicotine has always been um nicotine .
Nicotine's good for you and I think everybody should be on nicotine , is it really ? Yes , it's just addictive . So they're trying to figure out how to make it not addictive . I'm into stuff like that um addictive stuff .
So here's what they figured out they found out that actually it helps , uh , preserve the brain and actually help uh , but people with dementia and alzheimer's hell yeah but they're trying to figure out how to make it like . How do we make it like not addictive ,
¶ TikTok Trends and Nicotine Insights
right , and also not make me like go crazy after about 10 minutes ? Yeah , you just have to , you have to just keep doing it . Oh , but I'm I'm gonna tell you , I think , and I tell everybody this like , if you're gonna do nicotine , you should be doing like zins or any of those .
Like , yeah , straight nicotine pack , it's just nicotine salt and whatever full flavor thing . It's two things and that's it .
That shit make you feel some kind of way or something it can make you ? I mean , if you don't smoke or don't , I ain't ever smoked a cigarette , yeah , I don't and he gave me one .
I popped it in I was like , oh , I'm good , this is nice , this is cool .
And then all of a sudden .
I was zooming , it will make you I ain from Costco .
Zip Fizz is pretty good , I don't even drink energy drinks . What the fuck is Zip Fizz ? You might not need it . Don't touch any nicotine .
I don't want to Probably stay away from it . That's why I'm a little confused .
It's the opposite of what you're trying to go for . Yeah , it's going to make your head spin and you're going to feel weird .
Yeah , I feel you don't want none of this , do you ? That movie's fucking crazy Dude it makes you happy .
It makes everything so much fun . Food tastes better . You don't want anything to do with this .
You don't want any of this I like when he was like I think I would like some of that cocaine , like bro , who the fuck says it like that ?
It's so good , it's such a good movie . Yeah , I will say this . So the first this happened . I saw this like maybe 25 years ago , 25 years ago or so , at the Grand Plaza , not the Grand Plaza . At the , there used to be a bazaar . I'm not sure if it's still there .
It probably is the Lancaster Bazaar , not the Lancaster Bazaar over there off of , over there by a seminary , over there by Hemphill , I don't know , it's over there in the south side , over there by two bucks liquor , um , but they it was like a little bizarre .
It was an indoor bazaar and they had like sexy lingerie underwear and it was an elephant mesh underwear where obviously the trunk was like long mesh , that's what I was trying to say earlier , and it had ears on the edge , like here on the ends nice , but I didn't see nothing on the balls , so maybe I mean I was like , oh , I've seen that before .
But I was like , how do you fit , how , how much meat you got to get in there ?
they just stay hanging low .
But I was like this guy's fucking crazy but that was that was when I was zoomed in so you could see it okay . Is it the dick hole underwear ?
yeah , this is a dick hole . So you , you've got your underwear , you've got a real nice butt . Uh , you've got just a tiny pocket for the goods and then just a straight up hole . That's just a . That seems like an awkward mix for me . It does seem awkward , and I was .
I was concerned about it I'm gonna tell you I was concerned about it , but after wearing it , number one , it puts everything just away from your body and I'm as a as a if you don't deal with the , the , that those type of parts you don't know .
Oh , I see the quick access fly , but it like , uh , sometimes stuff sticks to your legs and stuff and it's uncomfortable and you get sweaty down there . So here are the benefits and features of the david archie dual pouch for that to me , I'll buy it you've got quick dry ball pouch fabric . That's and that's nice .
Yeah , you got special room for your private area . You've got support pouch for your ball . It just it just says I mean there's not enough room for both , but you got support for one ball and then a quick access fly .
So whenever you got your thing in the hole you just lift it up real quick yeah , exactly , so you can go to the bathroom so that's the that's the weird part , because then , whenever you put it back down , you have to tuck it over that's why , why did ? the guy that they have in this , like that guy's , packing hard . Why does ? Why is he the model ?
That's what it does . It make you look like you're packing , it does so even medium to small guys that's small .
You can't do small with that you can't do small , you're going to say medium . You're going to tell us you're medium .
You got to be a medium .
I like to say regular .
Like regular . Do you know where they would get my money , like if I was in high school , if they had like boner protection , where it would keep your boner down .
If you were having class , oh , for real , I would have bought some . If you were having a class , I might buy some . Now , I don't know , man .
I'll buy them . Send me that link . I'll buy them and try it out . Yeah , I'll buy one . I'll buy one .
It's a seven pack for like 20 bucks . Oh , that's actually not that bad See . Look , that's cheaper than fucking .
Angel .
Fruit and Lume . I honestly need to reach out to David .
Archie , at this point , waney and your balls yeah , I need to .
I need to reach out to david archie your franken beans all I say is that I think tiktok has just become one big ad at this point pretty much , but they're trying to ban that shit .
What ?
yeah , well , maybe still trying to yeah , if you vote for trump .
He's banning tiktok I just seen that shit . They said if they got until like a certain amount of time to sell that shit , it's like early next year they'll sell it . It's a wrap . They can sell it to me .
I'll give it back I'll give it right on back swear to god for five million .
I don't even want a lot , wow , I just need five . What a nice guy right yeah , that's not bad . You know how much tiktok is worth right now it's stupid and I just want five million yeah , and you can have it back , all rights . I don't even want my name attached to it .
I don't think that's how it works though they can't have my head that's how it works . You're like I'm gonna , I'm gonna purchase it and I'll own it , but you still do all the things I just got one more thing that I saw that I thought was really , really kind of I swear if it's like fucking butthole underwear .
No , it's not even but this is uh , so Russia has fined Google . Okay , oh , so Google has not allowed . They've basically censored Russia's pro-Kremlin propaganda .
Kremlin , yeah , the .
Kremlin .
The dude from Dragon Ball Z . Yeah , that's Krillin man .
The Kremlin is the Wait . Hold on hold on Wait . Kremlin is like the leadership of Russia .
Kremlin is like the leadership of Russia .
Kremlin is not the guy's name from Dragon Ball Z . No , it's Krillin .
Krillin .
So you thought his name was Kremlin the entire time ?
Yes , Is that not it ? Now , you know I don't watch stuff like that . What was the other ?
word that we found out Squash , squish Squash . It's not I can't remember . Squish .
Yeah , it's not squash , squash , Squash . I squished the shit .
So Google has fined or the Kremlin has fined Google , and it was like it said .
Declan , or whatever Declan , or whatever Declan .
It's more money than it is on earth .
It's four times trillion , so like trillion , trillion , trillion , trillion , right Trillion , and they find them so much Like obviously it's just bullshit .
I bet an Arabian dude got that much money . No one on earth has that much money Declan Altogether .
The world combined does not have that much money , so how would anybody even they're just being assholes . You know what If somebody told ?
me , I owed them a decillion amount of dollars . Like bro , shut the fuck up he's like is that fucking alien money ?
I actually believe that was the response from Google was bro , shut the fuck up , no fucking way the legal response ?
Yeah , I saw that I was just like , but you know they fuck around and nuke this bitch .
google better pay I looked , I looked at it , I saw that word and I was like I've never seen that word .
And then they said it was like a trillion plus , you know they've been reading too much fucking harry potter . It's a fucking hogwarts money , did you see also ?
uh , I'm pretty sure it was singapore , singapore . Um . So apple had this thing that they were supposed to . Uh , if Singapore was going to start buying like Apple products , apple had a promise that they were going to start putting money back into something right Like they . They made a promise in order to get their products in the country .
Well , they didn't actually fulfill that promise , so now it is actually illegal to use any Apple products in Singapore .
Like , if you're like a resident , right , okay , travel , or something like that . If you're like a resident , right , okay , traveling , is fine , yeah , whatever , but like yeah .
Think about all these people that have spent way too much money on these phones and devices and Apple Watches and stuff and now it's like literally illegal . Because , I believe Singapore is one of those places that they'll cane your ass , oh yeah , yeah , cane yeah Like there's a punishment Like they'll beat you with , like a with bamboo cane .
Yeah , for like spitting on the ground like it's a very like clean country and if you spit on the ground .
That's like illegal too like well , I wouldn't want to go to no places like that . It's like if you singapore , if you spit on the ground .
I think it's like two years in prison or something that's crazy .
If you're gonna do that , might as well jack off on the floor dude that's a lifetime , that's actually what's funny is that's only 30 days that's crazy .
Spitting on the ground yeah , it's a really clean country and they have um , they've every every morning . There's like these old ladies that go like legitimately , they go out and sweep . That's how it was in beijing too yeah , so does mexico .
Old ladies sweeping their stuff in the morning this is like the whole city they're sweeping , like , yeah , they're sweeping the streets you know , in istanbul , if you like kid a , you go to jail for like 10 years or something like that .
In where Istanbul ?
I feel like you're just making up that at this point . No , no .
They worship cats . They got cats everywhere in that city . I think if you , you get a year in prison . If you like , abuse a cat .
Yeah , like the whole spitting on the sidewalk thing . I mean I believe an American got arrested years ago for spitting gum on the sidewalk and then it was like a big international thing and got caned over like that was his punishment ?
is it just like getting hit in the knees with a cane , or was it like a beat .
No man , it's like they're gonna whoop your ass . Yeah , they ride your flap off your brand new underwear , saying king instead of cane .
Yeah , that's exactly . All right , all right , let's .
It's about time to wrap up . You want to plug the too high like social media event anything yet again yeah , too high texas at too high texas and that's tx .
You don't have to spell it out oh , fancy yeah , tiny session 11 16
¶ International Fines and Punishments
november 16th , um 8 to 8 to 11 pm . Um , like I said , you can go buy a ticket . It is a free show , you can . Anybody can pull up for the free .
We don't have tacos but go support your artists , go ahead and pay that 30 bucks . You get some extra stuff and some free beer you said free beer from martin house .
Man , you can't beat that shit . Yeah , um yeah , too high texas . I don't even really care to promote myself , just promote the too high texas . We're gonna have all kind of merch , um limited merch .
We're gonna have the kelly sparkson merch out uh , hell yeah , I want that , I'm not gonna show the public that yet dude , I'm gonna use that later yeah , but we're gonna for sure have the merch out . Um , I think kinky's coming up .
I'm not really sure you're cool to see him yeah , so even then , even though it's always lit when he's here yeah um , yeah , we're gonna have a little after party afterwards all right .
Next time you decide you want to have a too high . I gotta see when , when you free dude , no , well , no , don't fucking do it for me let's have a collab .
Can we sponsor a team we'd love to like ?
I would love to sponsor a team if we like somehow yeah , I'm down , yeah , funky panther team too high . Fucking . Uh , get bliss shit get stoned .
That's a . That's a hell of a fucking mashup right there . I'm down for that too , honestly I was talking , I was talking Funky Panther , but yeah , that works too . I'm just going to throw this out there . Expansion pack Dickholes For weed .
Oh yeah , oh , for sure yeah .
We got to figure out . The problem is , what kind of games do you want to play , getting high ?
There's only one person now , though , that it's me so you know , sometimes I play little games like I'll be watching the Sopranos , you know , and I'm like every time they cuss , I'm gonna just take a hit every time Tony eats gabagool , I gotta fucking take a hit every time Carmella puts her hand on your hips , I'm gonna take a hit .
I just be playing little shit by myself . Yeah , and then I look up and then my girl will be like how many dabs have you took ? Don't worry , bud Like 20 .
Well Dank man . Thank you for coming on .
We appreciate it . It's been too long .
So good to catch up . If you already do so , please make sure you follow Dank on social media . 2highttx on social media . Yes , sir , also follow the Funky Panther on all things social media . You can find it at thefunkypanthercom Call . Leave a text , leave a voicemail 817-677-0408 .
Also follow Get .
Blitzed . Yeah , I was going to say that let's go ahead and plug that , let's just follow , get Blitzed . Thank you , no , for real , brian . I keep telling you all the buy the game , you watch football , you like to drink Giblets Games . Stay good everybody .
I'm Chad , I'm Javier , I'm Tim and I'm Dan , there we go , and we are the Funky Pimper .