Has This Ever Happened to You?

We just became friends and we met . We actually talked like a detention freshman year and I sat next to him .

It's like a breakfast club thing .

It was pretty much and it was you know he's . He is like my best friend . I love the guy to death , but I just like what the fuck was the point of that story .

I peeked in high school , and then I , you know , not even half a career , half a career .

I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby .

Listen to what I'm made of baby will you be ?

I was more confident about myself . It was like pre-9-11 , you know , things were great . And then the twin towers happened .

Thanks a lot , thanks a lot .

Thanks , obama . I mean , I was like shit , so sama Ruin everything . That's how it was .

Hello , and welcome to the Cult of the Funky Panther . We are coming at you from the city of Fort Worth , located in the heart of Texas . By listening to us , you have now entered a legally binding agreement .

AI is a scary thing . Ladies and gentlemen , how is you ? Oh , hello everyone . Oh , hello , everyone , oh hello everyone , and welcome to the Funky Panther coming at . You live from Fort Worth , texas . We got a wonderful show for you Tonight . This is episode 147 . Hey , hey , don't adjust your screen , because thank God .

I'm Chad , I'm Javier and I'm Chad and we are the Funky Panther Again .

This is episode two in the new studio . We hope that the people that have been watching the first 50 because we did 50 minutes of the show . I hope you all enjoy it .

It's been a great yeah , and I'm going to assure you that the four play some of that free show is going to end up on this show because it is because , if you run over and it is what it is we talked about good folk and a chow . No , we talked about Texas day , brazil and . Chama , gotcha Chama .

Gotcha .

Chama Gotcha yeah .

Let's see , let's check the group . Chat out real quick . Lobster bisque . Lobster bisque sounds amazing right now . Also , javier . What does it say ? Something Jones ?

Javier .

Jones sounds Let me check my phone . Javier , seed and Jonestown . I guess Harvey is drinking tonight too .

So thanks again for joining us tonight , our first intoxicated listen there .

Chad was the entire Ria passenger . Oh , from Brighton . No , no , no , no , no .

Okay , so we're going to get into that .

Oh was that his flight ?

No , it wasn't his flight . Have you not heard about that ? No , so there was an international flight that was turned around . I think they went back to Atlanta , I think .

I heard about it today . It's from Atlanta to Greece .

Hold on . They were in Greece .

They were two hours into their flight and G-G-G-Poo-Poo .

Two hours into their flight and they had to come out like the pilot had to ask the ATC to turn around for a biohazard issue . Oh , my . Somebody shit themselves all the way down the plane . Oh no , like . Got up , made a run to the bathroom and just shit . Oh no , bro , was this a real thing or was this a real ?

No , no , no , it was a YouTube pranks .

It was 100% real and there . So you know there's people who love listening to ATC traffic and stuff like that .

Yeah , I love it . I listen to all 9-11 ATC traffic always Okay .

Anyways . So somebody recorded , they screen grabbed that and so it's already been released where the pilot's asking to turn back around to do to a biohazard .

And then they released the news article Got the poo on board so I have to say that wasn't a fear of mine .

I mean , but it is now .

Dude , no , no , no . Shitting myself in public is one thing On a plane , but shitting yourself on a plane , an aluminum tube when you're going to have , you've got two hours , you're flying already two hours out . You got two hours back and you got to look those people in the eye .

Well , here's the thing , though , because , looking at the group chat , I think they just landed in Barcelona . You're not too far out , why can't you just land at the nearest airport ? Or you just got to go all ?

the way back . I think they turned around and went back Because the earth is flat Earth flying ?

out of his flat , scran away in a way . It don't matter , but I have a story . I have a story of something like this that has happened to me before . I'm here for a story . So back when I was young , I used to go to Mexico all the time by myself , like when I was 15 years old on . I used to take the bus , I used to go over there .

No , not me .

So we were coming back . My cousin was with me at the time and my mom came back for us because she's like , oh , I'm going to visit my parents , all this stuff , so we're coming back from Mexico to Fort Worth .

The imagine , the embarrassment I'm sorry , one of those mega buses that you picked up at , like La Grande Plaza ? Yeah , exactly , it's exactly the one .

Sorry .

I had to tell that story , junior . It just had to be told .

But we didn't know who it was . Now Now I know it's junior .

But it was better . But I but imagine my , my dismay and my disappointment where everyone in the bus like literally I remember hearing the door open and just looking back and we're like dude , what the fuck man ? And he's like what the hell happened ? Like yeah , you should .

That's it . That's a shotgun , you're fucking .

I don't necessarily . I don't have an issue with that aspect , Right .

It's fine , it's bodily function , whatever Sure .

But I don't know if I'd want to be on the bus knowing that I just pissed off an entire busload of people .

Yeah , especially when they're all eating sloppy jokes and you're shit Dude , that's like the worst man , I mean like it's like one of those things where whenever I , before I fly , I try to like go to the bathroom as much as I can for the flight because I hate I'll piss in the bathroom because you know me , I hate flying .

That's it , like the fears always take the alcohol up your ass . You don't do my stevo . What am I not boofing ?

I'm not . I'm not boofing .

I'm not going to boof .

But , that is called .

Yeah .

Yeah , right .

Yeah .

When you stick they used to call it butt chugging , but chugging , yes , but no , fuck that the kids , the kids , they call it boofing .

Yeah , you wouldn't have to go to the bathroom ? Yeah , but you know but I'm a charming drunk . On my plane , whenever I was single , like I used to fly from Charming drunk .

Hey , you have to know yes .

You think you're charming , but we had you drunk on the fucking boat and you were . I blacked out on the . You were obnoxious , it was terrible .

It was the worst , james . Dean let's see , let's see . Fan favorite Gladys have you , have you all ever ridden a Mexican travel bus from one state to another ? You never ride in the back a third or half .

That's exactly it was like this had to be this had to be like maybe 20 years ago , but it was like a El Conejo .

Everybody knows El Conejo . I'm not really sure if it's still around , because I haven't ridden El Conejo in a long time , but but I even know what you're talking about .

It's like , yeah , I used to see those buttons . Yeah , you used to see them all the time .

Yeah , but it was the . It was the worst man , because I used to , I used to love doing it because I being I was 15 years old . I was 15 years old going by myself . I felt like a big fucking man . But do you remember El Conejo ?

I was working at the QT in North side one time and one of those buses- pulled up and like unloaded the shit and they all came in .

Yeah .

And they were just like they just came straight from Mexico and I was like fuck , I was like it's done .

But man , yeah , I'm going to , I'm going to the group chat . Javier was a drug wheel . No , no , it was 20 years ago . It was crazy , it was crazy yeah .

I think you're , I think you're out of the clear now .

I'm straight . And then Gladys said I think it is a tornado , tourimax , conejo and some other stuff . Yes , sir , and you know my sister , she hates wine , so she'll only take the buses really , but yeah , but like the one that just came up , she hates it . It's like three hours from here to Chihuahua . She hates it .

So , like you know , they check your shit , Because I mean , it's almost like it's close to 10 hours just to go to El Paso .

Pay someone $20 and the charges disappear . That's correct , but no like . That was a big fear of mine .

I've always wanted to take the megabus from here to Austin .

Yeah , we're gonna do that . We'll do that soon . I've taken the Amtrak from here to Austin . I've gotten drunk on the Amtrak because it got that little drink place to go into .

I never thought about taking the Amtrak down to Austin .

Hey , speaking of which like , if you ever have like maybe a weekend free and you wanna go to Austin , take the Amtrak to Austin . Man I took the Amtrak up to , You'll get drunk and also he takes you through the back roads of Texas .

I took the Amtrak up to Canada and on the way up there it was great . On the way back , the seats that we got were up against the like bulkhead of the back of the train so you couldn't recline them . So I had to sit up straight for like Ooh , that's true . A few hours .

Yes , and I snored a lot and it wasn't really that comfortable either .

The train up there to Canada that had , like some really plush , almost like leather seats . They're almost like first class seats , fantastic .

On the group chat now . Now I have to ask how do you feel about Valarys , since you only fly I don't know what ? I can't tell you the last time I flew , like I don't know what Is that ? Like the small jet private jet company ? I know there's a small one that goes from here to Lajitas and Big Bend .

Is it ?

Yeah , it's like a small little private jet .

I thought about . Have you seen those where it's like the , it's not like private jet , but you get some of the same benefits . So it's a private charter , but you just book your seat , so it's like a smaller .

Oh , the spirit . It's the Spirit Airlines of Mexico . I don't know , I've only done . The only Mexican airline I've done is Idle Mexico , but I've never done any other one . That's Valarys , that's , they fly from the most major US cities to Mexico , all around Mexico .

I thought that plane was gonna crash Because there was like a bunch of kids from a soccer team Like they were flying to Ireland .

And that's like straight up movie shit . Yeah , it's like real life for you Like a life ? Like being a cannibal at some point You're gonna get eaten . I'm gonna get eaten by sharks on the fucking .

Or you're gonna end up on some rock and they're gonna eat you On the mountain side .

Yeah , no , fuck that , but yeah , I hate flying . Flying is a shit , and so it was a Best riding is fun .

I don't have any problems flying .

Well , I mean , like I'm more terrified of taking the train , taking the fucking security and shit .

Oh yeah , whenever I was , it's all bad and you're like I used to date a girl who had , like what's that thing called Like a global entry ?

Yeah , yeah , the one that was like fancy passage .

So she's like all we had to do . We didn't have to take her shoes

Yeah .

Like they did a pre-check . I was on that . Oh , I wonder if I still have it .

But what I thought was weird was so my first international flight , whenever I was flying back out of a country I think it was either Mexico or Cuba , Both of them actually I thought I was gonna take my shoes off . So I started taking my shoes off and they're like no , no , no , we don't do that here .

Yeah , fucking dick , I think it's .

You probably his name was Richard . His name was Richard . Yeah , it was .

Dick , I'm very attuned to these .

I tell you whenever I don't know why I hate flying so much . The only flight that I knew I was comfortable with was my bachelor , not mine , not mine . One of my favorite , like Anthony's bachelor party , it was a bachelor or bachelorette party .

Yeah .

And so everyone I cared about was on a plane and I was like , if this thing goes , we all go .

It's very selfish to say I mean , I was on one flight and it was actually Jesse and I's first trip that we took together .

Jared , where have you gone ? Where you thought the plane rides were trash ? This became a travel episode .

I don't know where you're going , but yeah , we did , it's fun .

In my mini travels . Oh , oh , black and white private jet . I don't know . The only one is cause I get motion sickness .

So there's that .

But other than that , like flight wise , I've flown a lot , but I just none stand out to me . They were just horrible . So it's surprising , though , what you can get out of DFW airport but you can't get out of others , cause , like I went to two different times , my friend Ryan one time had a key chain . They had a bullet on there .

One of those key chains .

He was able to fly out of DFW airport to Vegas and then when it coming back , they got him for it and they said he couldn't have it on there , so they confiscated it . And then I was like , okay , I mean obviously , yeah , but it's a novelty item , but I get it , whatever .

Hey , but it's okay , she's your ex .

Yeah , but I mean .

Yeah , shit doesn't matter anymore .

I was still married at the time , so I was just like fuck and I had to just let him toss it .

And you know , at that point , like , do you , is there a way to like , just to be like , okay , can I just send it ? I think you have to leave the airport .

You literally have to get out of line , go to the mail place or whatever and ship it back , and or you just cut your losses .

I remember hiding a pocket knife .

In your prison wallet .

No outside of Six . Flags Just watch hit my ass Cause you couldn't bring on a knife in back whenever they started doing the what's it called .

My sister-in-law .

I always put everything in a locker there . I'd rent a locker at the beginning .

Yeah , but you couldn't go in . I'm talking about like they wouldn't let you in the gate Cause they were doing the . They had the , the not X-ray machine but the metal detector .

Yeah , so like for my sister-in-law's graduation when it was at T she graduated from TCU like my key chain had my supreme like pocket knife . I paid a lot of money for that shit , I'm sure you did . And so like they're like hey , we can't accept you . You got this pocket knife . I'm like it's a key chain . And they're like nope , get out .

I was like I can't .

I was like . I was like I can't fucking kill you .

Stabby , stabby .

here I was like I'm not going to walk back to my car Cause it was like fucking , like 10 minute walk .

You just shoved up your butt . Did you hide it somewhere ? I did , I actually , like you know , I was like around the little garden area .

I act like I was tying my shoes and I stuffed it in the soil . That's exactly what I did and like I , yeah , I went in left and it was still there .

And so dude terrorism .

I mean no , no , no , not terrorism , but Well , they kept you from being a terrorist . True , yes , but also I've seen this happen for people like people record those videos before they go to ACL , like a month before they bury a bottle , they bury a liquor . And then like I see that too .

I got to work with the , the Ubi-Dabi people , so Disco Donnie is the production company that puts on a lot of these big festivals . So Ubi-Dabi comes through and I got to learn a little bit about the ins and outs and how they plan everything .

People hide their bombs out there .

The problem is , though , you got to make sure you're not burying it . It'd be my luck , I'd go out there and bury a bottle of vodka or something , and it'd be underneath the fucking stage .

Yeah , well , I know where the stage is at , though , and I wear like the setup is , so I know where .

Yeah , but they bury it .

Yeah , but they didn't you know if you didn't know they would still be there , so all you have to do is just tunnel under to the stage . This feels like deja vu .

So you can I think you can self-mel it glad it says , but like I know whenever Tammy was in Denver , you can't . This is a separate story . The alcohol is getting to me now .

I'm like so I haven't heard any , so I'm still trying to process this . I'm sorry . I'm sorry .

So you know , when she was in Denver , she's like I'm going to mail you this weed , I'm going to email you , I'm going to email you , I'm going to mail you this marijuana .

That's so fucking elaborate .

If we weren't going to see a post service and a death cab in October , then I would totally like do the lineup for ACL .

It looks good .

It looks amazing . I love it . I love Austin as a city . I just love it . Everything , everything . Austin is great .

I love you , so you're not a lot . I'm just going to cut you off now . You've gotten really on ecstasy you got really feely with the table . All of a sudden it's on the other side . You don't get the drink as much now . Yes , I do . You got to get a chill out .

I only had a chicken fried stick for lunch , hey so let me let me , let me ask you .

It sounds good .

Now that we're talking about concerts and stuff and music , what is one show that you wish you can relive ?

I wish I could relive . Yes , oh man , blink 1A2 , jimmy World and Green Day .

Oh , that sounds amazing it was a great .

It was a great concert .

Was it like a like a back in the day , when it was ?

like 2002 maybe .

Yeah , what was the one song that you listened to whenever it was like like the favorite song you went out there to listen to ?

for , Dookie , Green Day Dookie .

I wanted to hear the whole album , so they were playing that .

They played most of that . They played a lot of that album . So the song when I come around , was really that in basket case when they would when they played basket case . I went , I went , fucking nuts .

What's your favorite Green Day song ?

Oh , um no , so there's a I can't remember the name of it , but it's um it .

It's kind of a creepy song and I think it's a . I have to look it up . Anyways , you come back to me , I'll tell you Mine's nice guys finished last .

It's like the quintessential

Almost other than Harvey Danger's Fly Boths at a .

I don't know if I have a favorite Green Day song .

Oh , that was a great song .

That was a damn good song .

Paranoia , paranoia . Everybody's trying to get me .

FOD all by myself , so it was two songs there's five minutes and 47 seconds long , and it was FOD you listen to that , and then it would .

It was a long pause . I was up by myself , yeah , I loved , I loved that song . It was like a secret song or something .

It's like that Blink 182 one we talked about last week or a couple of weeks ago . Yeah , from Tick Up your Pants .

That was the cool thing about then whenever there was , like always , myths , like I heard . There's a secret song at the end of the corn album .

And then you have to listen , and then you have to listen to it .

Oh my God , I heard it .

Oh , that track is like it's like 10 minutes long and so you knew there was like a . You know yeah .

Dude , that was me whenever I listened to the blueprint , the last track , which was like one of the most legendary tracks because it was the one with Eminem .

It was Renegade . Oh , it wasn't the last track .

Renegade had Eminem and Eminem like . It's famously known that Eminem's verse on Renegade was the greatest like feature because , like he took over Jay-Z's track , that was like amazing , it was yeah .

Oh my God , really .

Yeah , man Lateralis . Yeah , For me that was the first time I listened to Tool because Gil had it . I mean me and Gil , like had albums that we traded to just listen to .

The album for me was like better , just because that was what I first got to introduce to you and there's so many songs that tie back to that time and everything and you just hear them . He was like I saw them in concert , not this past January but January before last , and they were .

All right , so I wanted to bring this up . You know Jared likes to get in these conspiracy theories and stuff like that . Yes , yes , so I recently saw a TikTok and a guy was talking about how this , this firefight Canadian firefighter , went through a portal and ended up a portal a portal , a portal a portal and ended up .

He has no recollection of how he got there . I think I remember hearing that , or any of that stuff , right .

And so he , the guy , tied it into you know , the national park systems and stuff like that , how people just disappear and never to be found .

Yeah .

So he's like upside down world or whatever it is , there's nobody there . Well then he ends up flagging down a truck , gets on the truck and then he's in and out of consciousness and the next thing he knows he's waking up and the guy's like this is the end of the road and it's Sacramento . So he gets out in Sacramento .

Dude , I think my boy just like got drunk and wanted to hang out with some dudes , went to a strip club . He's like hey , let's keep party going , let's go to a fucking .

Vegas . This has Doc Brown written all over it .

It does you gotta fuck your kids buddy , it does a hundred percent , like he doesn't know back to Sacramento . But everything's all speculation , right , because he has no way , of like , filling in the gaps and there's no truck driver that's come forward . But like , oh yeah , I gave him a ride .

And who's going to like watch the news and look out for his shit like that ?

though , but you would think that somebody be like , oh my gosh , the story is insane . Yeah , I was that truck driver . And it would come forward and say like , yeah , I gave him a ride because you know he wanted to ride on the group chat .

Sounds like he jumped on a Mexican bus or sounds like he got either got drugged or ended up with a concussion .

That's what that's . A theory is that he had a concussion ? Is he hit his head ? I think he fell down , hit his head or something like that . Or somewhere by the bunny slope and there was like a the .

Sunny Bono died like that . When he hit it , he hit a tree .

Yeah , a lot of people don't realize . Like man , you , you have a yard sale and one of your skin . All your shit goes everywhere , right , and you smack your head on the . You know ? You know what I'm saying .

Like he's very wild description they call it a yard sale Very insensitive to yard sellers and resellers .

They call it a yard sale because , like , whenever you fall , like your skis go and it's all over the yard , man , it's like just got spread out .

Everyone will come by on from you , yeah .

There are things I don't do yeah .

I went to this job .

I've snowboarded twice and that's were you successful at it . I was only that , like my legs were hurting and my back was hurting .

Yeah , I was never . I was not very good at snowballing .

I was a . I've never done snow Shit Dude it's kind of terrifying Like .

I've never even ice skated because with my luck I would . I would be like , okay , you got the , you got the choice right Black diamond , this way , or double black diamond . And then it's like the green trail and somehow my ass is going and I can't control it and I'm going black diamond oh , it's side of the side of the mountain and down and down I go .

That was my dream Whenever I used to play in 64 , like 10 , 80 , snowboarding is to be a snowboard . Fuck , Let me get that black diamond baby .

Let me get it . I never played that game . I got it . I got it at the house Do you come over .

What yeah man ?

Y'all come over . You know what let's all go over hang out with some pets , you know .

Play with a cat , you know we move the podcast away from your house . You're like , so come over .

I live with my girl right now I need for . I ran . Actually I ran into Anthony . I had seen Anthony since like see me early day like early day cause I was like the . The big fight was that night and I went over and no , he wasn't . He was . No , I saw Anthony , me and Tam .

I saw Javier at Albertsons you did yesterday . Yesterday Was it Monday or no ? Sunday , sunday .

Yeah , are you sure ? Yeah , it was yeah , cause we were buying groceries .

I bought groceries . Did I get correct ?

dad .

No , no , no , no , I was checking . I had a message .

I was going to say to me no , no , no , okay , you got , you got off the rails . Sorry , sorry man , hey man .

All right . So obviously you had a few . You had a few questions . Do you want to ask Jerry ?

Hey , um , yeah , I did . Oh , so number one is some of these .

How does it feel getting close to 40 ?

Yeah , because you made this a big deal whenever you talked with Dank and you know , age was a thing .

I don't know . It just it's like I don't feel , like I'm that old , like I still feel .

I don't know what age I paradox .

I don't know what age I feel , but I don't feel like I'm as old as I am .

Right , I look at my cause .

I'll be 39 in December .

Yeah , I look at my age .

I'm like fuck , I'm almost 40 .

There's no way that I'm there .

You know what I think about that too , because , like , I still think that I'm like 36 or like 35 or 34 .

Sometimes I think I'm like 30 . Yeah .

I feel like , like our generation , the way it was now , like then , like maybe like 15 years ago , like we were , we would have already had grandkids , grandkids .

You know , do you think it's just like we've we've dealt with so much trauma in our lifetime , just from all the world , that we are stuck , kind of feeling like we're at a younger age or so ?

so , yes , I feel like I mean like I think back to where my parents were at my age because , like , my dad was already divorced from my mom when I was , when he was like 34 and had 15 kids already .

Yes , 100% .

But it's like . You know , looking back at my past , it's not stereotype .

I know it's real yeah it .

Is you racist ? No , Looking back at my parents when they used to party with their friends and they were like in their late twenties , early thirties when he's like swinger parties .

No , we'd hang out with all those tapes .

Did you ever watch the Ninja Turtles ? Like fucking live show where it's like we're out of our shells , the rock concert , one that's sucked , but I was a kid . I was like I love it , I love it . So they got all of us kids together .

I enjoy not having children .

You know me too Like I love the cats , I love the , I love Bubba , and you know we've talked about kids , we've talked about having kids already , but like I'm enjoying the time we have now , like I'm enjoying this , I enjoy the times that we record .

How old is she ?

She's 33 . She's 30 . She's in her early does she want kids ? Well , we've talked about in the past she was against kids and so , as our relationship has gone on , she's like maybe I think it's fine .

You better start fucking . It's a problem I need . What's that thing that ?

I don't know , I don't know I have my . Agra .

Yes , I need that A blue

Yes , I see all the ads all the time . Mints , yes , they do . Yeah , that's kind of fun , but but , um , we talked about it and I think , like I'm not going to be an old dad if we think .

I know that's my thing is , I don't want to be a fucking grandpa dad , my dad was uh .

my dad was in his uh like . I think he was like 47 when I was born . Yeah , damn it , I'm going to go to group chat real quick .

Sam just commented with something uh , culture and social circles that make you feel certain age . So young things feel young . So old people things feel older .

Yeah , 100% , because we kind of associate with a lot of younger people really .

Yeah , we do .

I mean Jordan is .

Jordan's in her early 30s . Yeah , just turned 30 . Just turned 30 . Kate is like 24 . Right , like all of our adult friends , are these in his 20s ? Yeah , I mean all of our friends that we grew up with . They have kids .

They have their families , they're set .

So that may and like , and what Corey said on the chat kids , kids aren't for everyone and but , but it is amazing , like I mean , like I had to raise , I had to help raise my brothers and sister because their dad was a piece of shit .

Like I have a hard time . I have a hard time just sitting here thinking and again , like this is no offense to anybody who has kids . It's just like I can't put myself in the same mindset of like waking up one day and be like , yeah , I want to , I want to raise a child .

And so also I'm selfish man .

And people say this . People say , oh yeah , you can still do all the things with kids and all that stuff . And our generation is trying to prove that and I saw that actually , I don't think it's our generation , I think it's a generation before us no now like the .

Oh , you mean like .

Because I mean I'm at a music festival , I'm at a metal like literally it's a metal festival and there are these girls and these guys and they have strollers out there pushing these kids around in like 200 degree degree weather .

So you know , for me it's just Well , because as a kid I we always every summer we took like a two week vacation . We would drive somewhere to my mom's fucking four tourists and we would take a two week vacation and we went to a bunch of cool places .

You know why y'all drove ? I didn't appreciate them as a kid had nothing to do with money . It's because they don't want to put some screaming ass kids on an airplane . Maybe I don't know . No , I don't know .

But we just we drove but we saw like the Grand Canyon , we saw all this stuff but I didn't appreciate it as a kid and I'm just like quit taking your kids , they don't care .

I mean that's a good thing that you were able to do that Because , like for me , it was just like getting in a car when we could driving to Mexico and the same place .

Yeah , I'm not hating against it , I'm not against it . A lot of my Mexican friends like if they went anywhere , oh , we're going to a town we can . Oh , where you going Mexico ?

I was like look look , I'll tell you what my greatest memories and the greatest times I've had have been like when I'd go to the farms of Sacatecas , where my dad's from , and like where there's no light pollution , you're able to see like everything in the sky .

That's fucking crazy .

Versus like the city the city life of Monterrey , mexico , where it's like the biggest like business area Mexico has to offer , bigger than Mexico's city , and like you're every night on the street going down getting like corn on a cob that they're roasting , getting fruit , or like going to pay like 10 cents for like a hamburger that's like done by way better places

I mean I was happy with my family , Like we went to , we went out to Corpus and stuff like that .

Yeah .

And then we went to . I went to Carlsby Caverns . I thought that was the coolest thing .

I loved it whenever I went over there .

I loved it .

But I mean .

I just can't imagine trying to travel with kids and keep it . Dude , again , I have a hard time keeping up with my own shit . Yeah , I'm having . I'm one of those travelers I'm double checking to make sure to still have my passport . Do I still have my wallet ?

Yeah .

And so I can't even imagine trying . My luck is I would end up pulling a home alone and leaving my fucking kid either at the house or he'd get on some other plane and fly to New York and have to live some sort of crazy adventure .

Well , that was my . That was my biggest fear too . Flying like overseas is being stuck there or something , Because you can't come back , you don't have your passport . Whenever I first got married , I went to Ireland and Would you go to Temple War ? I believe so .

I own . It's weird , I do that too .

I'm not coming close to running out of underwear on this trip .

We went to Tennessee a couple of years ago and that's the one thing I made sure I had enough of .

It's a three day trip . I'm taking 38 pairs of underwear . Yeah , for sure .

I'm not one of those man . No , no , I take that .

I just plan out my days . Man , I think you're a loose living man .

I think you I think in some cases I am , but in other ways , like I am , very rigid .

There's some shit . I'm nowhere near , nowhere near climbing close to like running out of it's , just you can't replace your underwear on the fly on a trip , you have those certain things that you just figure out , and , especially when you're overseas , their clothing is not

No , whenever we were in London , same thing . You know , it's kind of one of those things where we went , where we're looking for pubs to go to , and you know , we ran into one as a red line . That was like after , like people got off from the stock market , people were like dressed up , really nice , and we're like this is too nice for us , let's go .

Same thing happened in Ireland . They got on the Grand Railroad , yeah , pretty much .

They went to Ireland . Same thing , Like downstairs where the locals were , there were like singing the fucking friends theme , like singing like fucking American TV show theme songs .

They just think that's what we listen to all the time .

Yep and then upstairs was like the fucking Irish people . Irish jig music .

It was cool Cause we went to . We went back there for new years in 2019 . And it was pretty cool cause we went to this Irish show and , sure fucking enough , like dude , I always get pulled on stage for this kind of shit and they're like they were doing the .

They're teaching you the Irish jig .

Yeah , the Irish jig that they do .

This is how you do the soldier ball , I do that in fucking . Ireland . That's what they did in Titanic , right ? Yes , the soldier boy .

So I had to get up on stage and do that dance for a bunch of fucking Irish people . So that was kind of fun . And then it was cool cause they played the whiskey in the jar , which Metallica did .

Oh , I fucking love whiskey in the jar , but they always do that song there and they're like oh yeah , it's a whiskey in the jar . I'm like that's not how you do it .

But talking to the bed , I know I was like this is a Metallica song . Where's all the guitar they should play ?

it at night too , of like when they were here . I wanted to listen to one of the . That was the song to listen to .

I love that song . It'd be that song .

You know , I listened to that song in Mexico . I would stay up until like 6am and I would watch MTV because we didn't have kid with house . And my members did in Mexico , I would watch . That's how I got my love from like rock music was because of Mexico . So shout out to Mexico for love .

We went to Mazel , on Mexico . Oh yeah , I went there too , and we took a taxi into the market or whatever and it was like a golf cart and they had this little like sound system in there . It was playing like Backstreet Boys and then it plays Snoop Dogg . It was this song that let me hear you say woof mother fucker , woof mother fucker .

Hey , man come on .

God damn .

And they switched to like Backstreet Boys and X-Aing and he was just like these are white people , they want to hear this music .

I was like , wow , it's not our music , the Gavin ended up ratting you out .

Yeah , a little asshole , I didn't get in trouble .

Oh , you just got your shit taken from you . No , no .

I have my snoop collection . So , man , I've still got my fucking case logic Like oh really , yeah , I still got my binder .

It's funny you say that because like my BMW is at the shop and it's outside the gate and like it's kind of like I haven't driven it in a couple months .

Where are ?

you going with this .

My case logic CDs were in that BMW and somebody had gotten in there because the door was loose and it's just chilling there and I'm like please don't take my CDs .

You gotta move them to the trunk man .

I took them . I took the case logic . They were still there with my racquet ball racquet Very white , I know .

But I was like oh my God , it's still there .

Because when I was moving things over the other night . So I still have all of my notes from high school , Like you know , those notes that girls like . And all of my pictures and , like all of my playboys were there .

Jesus , and so it was just one . They all stuck together .

But there was a . There was one magazine that was there from like fall 2001 . And I kept it because I was like I'm keeping this , it might be in my mind Jesus 9-11 . Yes , no , but I was going through like we're just going to tie .

I was going .

I was going through like the fads and trends , like back then versus now . Yeah , you know they had a pair of Oakley's that , like you , wore right here , but they wrapped around the center of the flame was like wearing those dude Like that kind of style looking back at him like what the fuck were people thinking ?

Well , I've been watching a lot of like old wrestling lately .

Yeah .

I just have it on . It's from like probably 97 , 98 .

It was like 99 . Yeah , yeah .

Raw and it's always uh , this , uh episode sponsored by Super Soaker or whatever . It's like these brands that don't really exist anymore and you're just like , wow , that was a . And then I saw like Cineburst , gum , frutiburst , all that I was like oh my you could still get those Oakley's , though they're there . You get them on eBay and yeah , find them on T-Mu .

but somebody read a comment on Reddit . Someone was like I asked my parents to buy these for me and they're like you're never going to wear them and like I'm pretty sure like sure as shit , like why would you wear that shit ?

The only person I ever remember wearing those is Flava , flav and maybe like a wrestler , but of course probably Scotty to a hottie or something like that . Yeah , or a Grandmaster six .

RIP . They're both dead right .

No Scottie to hotties still warming it up , but Grandmaster six is dead .

I'm not gonna wear that today on the group chat , I still have an old girl's gone wild where the chick changes the TV channel without using your what is she using for China ? You know what those commercials and the deep Elm live .

You watch that . Oh , you come on late at night . Yeah , I was like I want to hang out .

I want to hang out in deep .

I love like those were the times , yeah , yeah .

Mom , how far is deep I love , why ? All right , I think .

I think we're going to have to call it .

It's because we're I'm drunk . Yeah , yes .

You just got on a full on ramble . Sorry , what happened tonight ?

I didn't eat anything , and I'm you know what ?

What happened with you ? All right , so this episode , as you know , was just off the rails the entire time and and we're actually here for that it doesn't happen that often , as it used to . Every once in a while , javier gets a little toasty .

Jared's a little toasty .

We're all having a good time . Man , that's really static , you let me turn that out , ok . Anyways , thanks for joining us live . We're right at the end of our program , jared . Thank you for taking the long drive over here and along the four and hanging out in the studio with us again .

Where can we find you , Jared ? What can we find your things ?

You could find me at Tales from the Fort on Instagram and YouTube and Spotify , and you can find me at Ties of the Past , wednesday through Saturday , slinging antiques to old bitches .

So the latest , the latest episode of Tales of the Fort .

With Dank 817 .

Yes , Mr Dank 817 was on there Boys from the Osis Galosis podcast .

We had Juan and Grizzly from there , so got to listen to a clip from it .

I haven't heard the whole episode yet .

It was a banger , so definitely check that one out , and we just released the YouTube episode with Gabby Minton on there . So , she was very fun to have on the show , so she's a great gal , she is oh yeah , so she's very talented gal in soothing music so it's always fun . But yeah , tales from the Fort , check us out we're finding sometimes .

All right and without further ado . I'm Chad .

I'm Javier and I'm Peter , and we are the Funky Panther .

Fisher , bulbix .