Megan Imbert: [00:00:00] Hello, my courageous friends on this week's episode of the frequency of courage I am joined by Naseem Rochette, who has an incredible story I was reading her bio and we come from the same backgrounds, working in high tech and and all of a sudden, May 21st, 2018
Megan Imbert: her life changes forever. Naseem, first of all, thank you for joining, and thank you for stepping into your courage to share your experience.
Naseem Rochette: Oh, thank you, Megan. I'm so thrilled to be here. I love what you're doing with this podcast, I agree fully we need to hear and see more inspiring stories to help us get through those tough times.
Megan Imbert: Absolutely so, May 21st, 2018, what happened on this day.
Naseem Rochette: I'll say you noted you were in, you know, tech as well. So I had a great meeting with a client that day, feeling fabulous, as I'm sure you know, when you know, you have , a great, just a great day.
Naseem Rochette: So [00:01:00] it's A spring day, May 21st, 4 o'clock in the afternoon, I had taken a little bit of an early train home, have dinner with my family, and I am walking across the street to my husband who was picking me up. I'm in the middle of a crosswalk when a car turned and hit me. Now, Megan, when it first hit me, I was still standing, I was standing and everything is in slow motion in these moments.
Naseem Rochette: So I was standing and I was thinking, she's hitting me today on this great day that I'm having. And, all these thoughts, I'll be black and blue, I'll be late for dinner, but I'm not worried. And then the car accelerates and drives over me. And then it reverses. And drives over me again, and then it goes forward and drives over me a third time.
Naseem Rochette: And, , this happens in a matter of seconds, but for me it was like 20 minutes of dialogue, , in my head. [00:02:00] Watching this all and, and feeling like my life was ending.
Megan Imbert: I have so many questions right now in terms of how fast was this car going? Did they know that they hit a person?
Naseem Rochette: Yeah, so, , when she first hit me, it was a woman, , she, , she stopped. But then, she accelerated. I talk more about it, in the book that I wrote about this experience, but she never really apologized or spoke to us.
Naseem Rochette: So we don't know all of the details behind what she was thinking, but I can tell you what, my husband who was watching and I think, we believe she was trying to flee the scene. Because she really didn't have insurance., I think that when she heard me screaming, my husband's screaming, other witnesses screaming, it was a, it was a hell.
Naseem Rochette: So I think she was trying to reverse back down to where she hit me in the pedestrian crosswalk. And then the third time, I think she was probably just trying to get off me. This is what I'm projecting. I don't actually.
Megan Imbert: What's so wild to me is your [00:03:00] husband's also witnessing this, the love of his life, the trauma that all of you encountered in a matter of seconds and minutes.
Megan Imbert: What was going through your mind when this happened? At first you said when you were standing, it was like, Oh, like this is inconvenient. , and you walk away with some bruises, right? But obviously PTSD. But you didn't have any broken bones or anything, which is so astonishing.
Naseem Rochette: Yeah, I didn't know that at the time. , and although there were no broken bones, I was completely broken. the person that had woken up that Monday morning was nowhere to be found. , and while I was underneath the car, I should say that, at that moment, at that day I talked about I was having a great day. It took me a long time to become a person I liked, I was a very insecure young girl, , really, , spent a lot of time, probably a lot of self help books, inspirational stories, , working hard to be somebody that I was proud of and on that day, in that moment of my life, I had three amazing [00:04:00] kids I had a good job, knew a great husband. We had a really good life. And I, I was happy. And as the car first ran over me, I, I hit the top of the car, I hit the pavement. She drove over me. I was trying to get out. I was trying to get out from under the car.
Naseem Rochette: The second time she reversed over me, I remember thinking, there's something wrong, this is going on too long. And I think, , everything, , it had slowed down, but it got even slower at that moment because I started to realize, and I could hear in my husband's screams that he was watching his wife die.
Naseem Rochette: And you know, I. I have three kids. I started thinking about my kids, , reflecting on life. I didn't want to leave them, I thought no one's going to ever love them the way I love them. But then I also thought Megan in this, , I feel very lucky for having this, this moment, I thought, well.
Naseem Rochette: , I had said to myself, every time I get on a plane, [00:05:00] travel a lot for work, Oh, should I write the kids letters? And I never did totally in that moment. I'm actually thinking, why didn't I write them letters? But then I thought, you know what? They know, they know who I am.
Naseem Rochette: They know how much I love them because, , although I've always been a working mom when I'm with them, I've been present. And we've had great vacations and we laugh and we spend time together. And I felt like, you know what, they do know me. And, , I felt a little peace that at least, they know how much I love them. The other thing I actually felt in that moment was, , I'm so glad my kids know how much I love them, , but. Does everyone else in my life know how important they are to me? And that was probably one, one regret I had, is just not making sure everybody that I appreciate and that has impact knows that.
Naseem Rochette: So, that was going through my mind and then the car went forward [00:06:00] on me. And at, at that point, I kind of snapped back into a little bit , of the moment, that present moment. And, , was watching the muffler and the underneath of the car. And that's, , when I started just feeling so tired and the car stopped.
Naseem Rochette: And I was, , I was done, , I thought I was, I was ready to just let go. , I couldn't tell, I was just in a pool of blood, I couldn't move my arms or legs, felt like my face had been ripped off, and I was just, I was just done.
Megan Imbert: Wow. There's so much, there's so much there, the slow motion of the thoughts and the moments of your life, and to be able to have this moment.
Megan Imbert: To really live the rest of your life how you choose to and obviously share your story like you are right now and inspiring people. There's a couple of things that immediately pop up for me. , I've never been a fan of funerals [00:07:00] ever and I tend to think Obviously, there's a lot of grief but I tend to think a lot of the folks that end up grieving or having any regrets, it's because they left those words unspoken, or they felt, did they really know how I cared, or did they, oh, we had this stupid petty fight and, never got over it or something. and friends that have had, , bouts with cancer or, any other kind of near death types of experiences tend to come away with a similar thought of, how do I live my life now that is one that is truly living and being present and being in gratitude and maybe taking more risks? What has this journey been like since 2018 in terms of, PTSD and the trauma of reliving that? I would imagine that's an entire separate motion of working with therapists what was that process like and how does that impact you to this day, if you're comfortable sharing?
Naseem Rochette: Absolutely. , I am an open book. [00:08:00] After the accident, although I didn't break any bones, I couldn't walk. I couldn't see, I couldn't think I couldn't move. I had lots of soft tissue damage. I had nerve damage. I had, torn everything you can imagine. The car actually drove over my head and neck.
Naseem Rochette: Wow. , so I had, obviously a very bad concussion, , my face was all cut up. , I had to have surgery on my eye. So although nothing was broken, , I really was,, so far from the person that I had been that morning, , I was, pretty much unrecognizable. I was even unrecognizable to my iPhone.
Naseem Rochette: I couldn't even, not that I could, , bear a phone, with the, with as bad as my, , brain injury was, but I came home and I was, Megan, I was, I was never actually admitted to the hospital because nothing was broken. So I was in the ER all night, cause they had to do , some surgery and stitches and things like that.
Naseem Rochette: But then, , I went home And, I remember [00:09:00] feeling like, well, if it's, if it's not that bad that I'm in the hospital, , am I really, was it really that bad part of me? That's thinking, am I making this up? So actually a week later when I saw the tire marks on my neck, I remember feeling so excited because I was like, It really did drive over my head and neck because I knew it did, but having that proof actually was, was really validating. I went home and I wanted to be that person I was before, which was someone that had the three kids and the busy job and juggles it all. It kind of made it look easy. And I didn't, I didn't accept help. I gave help. So when I first went home and people were trying to help me, I was so embarrassed.
Naseem Rochette: The receiving of the love. Yeah. Like it felt debts in my ledger. I was telling the kids like, write down who brought the flowers and the [00:10:00] dinners. And I didn't want anybody helping me.
Megan Imbert: Hmm.
Naseem Rochette: a couple things happened, my doctors luckily forced me to start seeing a trauma therapist. And that was very helpful, because she taught me about the art of Kintsugi. And, the idea of Kintsugi, for those that aren't familiar with it, it's taking a broken vase and when you put it back together, you do it with a gold inlay and you celebrate the cracks.
Megan Imbert: Beautiful.
Naseem Rochette: And I remember, , feeling like, okay, I can break, but it doesn't mean I'm broken. And, I can talk about the things that have happened, not as a victim, but just as part of my journey. And, around the same time that this was happening, my brother and I are very close my brother lost his dog and he lived in California. So he was far away. I live in New Jersey, but I remember feeling that I want to help my brother. [00:11:00] He lost his dog. He's in pain. How do I help him? And that helped me realize that, wow, just like I need to help him. People need to help me for their own healing.
Naseem Rochette: Yeah. The accident didn't just happen to me. It happened to everyone that loved me. And I needed a way to let them support me, and I actually found that there's this dimension of strength that we don't think about in letting people help. , I had always thought of letting people help as, as kind of a weakness, if I'm honest, but it is actually takes a lot of strength to sometimes put their needs first.
Megan Imbert: Yeah, it's like almost blocking, blocking the blessing and blocking the way that they want to show up and give love. , that's so powerful in terms of how to receive in a moment like that. And what was this experience like for your husband and your kids as well? , that had to have been
Megan Imbert: so difficult. And as you heal over [00:12:00] time and, , I remember I read one of the articles whether there could have been outbursts or not really even recognizing who you were and dealing with all of it. How old were your kids when this happened?
Naseem Rochette: They were 9, 11, and 13
Megan Imbert: tough, tough for ages in and of itself there.
Naseem Rochette: It was, as you can imagine, very, very hard on the family because they had a kind of a powerhouse mom. And I may have been there. But that mom was gone and, in the beginning, , we went from this kind of very happy, energetic, music playing in every room, , dancing in the kitchen to, needing quiet and silence.
Naseem Rochette: Like , my kids couldn't even hug me because I was so bruised and raw and in so much pain, certainly they didn't want to look at me, because I, I was. Unrecognizable , I had so many cuts and bruises and things on my face. And so it was a very [00:13:00] hard year, luckily, early in that journey, we decided and I think it was very purposeful as I said, I liked my life. I wanted, I wanted to get back there and we, we decided that this was going to be a happy story. And I think having the courage to do that was because of hearing other people's inspirational stories and journeys and knowing that you can have something really horrible happen and still get through it, , and life might be different.
Naseem Rochette: But, , I don't have to judge it as worse, , it's just a little different. And so deciding to make it a happy story, I think really helped us. As I started to embrace the idea that other people need to help and that, , I could share my journey in that Kintsugi philosophy, I think it also really helped the kids.
Naseem Rochette: heal because I was letting them do things for me. I was letting other people do things for [00:14:00] me. And once you start sharing, the tough moments, you get to start sharing the victories. I often give the example of, you know, if I said to you, you know, I, I showered today really wouldn't be, you know, like you wouldn't be cheering for me.
Megan Imbert: I'm cheering for you. But if
Naseem Rochette: you knew that I couldn't, stand or I could walk up the stairs, you know, or touch my head cause I couldn't move my arm. You wouldn't know what a big deal it is that I showered. And so if you don't give people the opportunity to know where you're starting from, they can't celebrate the milestones and the victories.
Megan Imbert: It's so powerful. I think about I, , had a surgery on my ankle that led me to 18 weeks non weight bearing and thankfully, I was on the ground floor apartment. I had one of those little scooters with the bell, but I will never forget when I finally was able to be weight bearing and just, I stood in the shower and I just cried. It was something that I just took for granted [00:15:00] a simple shower or just standing on your two feet so so profound and I think also what an experience especially for your kids and seeing their mom need their help and Allowing them to do that because I've been on this journey right now where I've been thinking especially for women around like grief and rage and anger and emotions So often, at least in my life experiences, women in my life, it was like a private thing.
Megan Imbert: It was like, Oh, I'm going to cry or get angry where people can't see it. And , I think allowing children to actually see their mom or dad coping is actually a healthy thing. Did you feel like that in your household? Like there's a bit of resilience building or, Hey, it's okay to process this.
Naseem Rochette: Yeah. And the kids even now, so they're 20 and, , they feel so proud that we've gone through this journey and how, we all went through the journey. We [00:16:00] actually celebrate the day of the accident as a holiday. We call it unbreakable day.
Naseem Rochette: We have a party and, we give ourselves a little credit for how much we've gone through. Thank the people in our life that have helped us to get through it but I think it's built the resilience in the kids and in myself, that, tough things happen. How we frame , our narrative, our story, the words we choose really can make a big difference in how we navigate those moments.
Megan Imbert: Something you said earlier, too, around when things occur in our lives, it doesn't have to define our life. It's a moment. That then to your point the words and what's the story we're telling ourselves every day and people often get Addicted to this happened to me this victim type of thing versus okay It happened to me and acknowledge all of the emotions with that but then how do I move forward or What help do I need in order to help me move forward?
Megan Imbert: So I really, , am [00:17:00] inspired to hear how you've handled this and processed it all. And, I know you had mentioned at the beginning of the show too, with the driver and obviously having some issues there, have you gotten to a place or have you in your own way, any sort of forgiveness or how are you, how do you hold or, or not totally there's no judgment either way. I'm just curious, especially if it's not met with someone willing to apologize or take accountability. So that feels like a, that's feeling like a heavy one for me to ask the question, but I'm going to
Naseem Rochette: megan you touched on something that, , was very impactful to the journey, when the accident first happened, I felt no ill will to the driver, to be honest. She a lot of bad judgment and, continuing to run over me. But, it wasn't a hit, she wasn't out to get me. But when I, I saw her, six weeks after the accident at the courthouse and, she didn't acknowledge me and, [00:18:00] I was all bandaged up, I had a cane, sunglasses, and I was with my husband and my daughter, my husband, who she had seen, , but there was no acknowledgement and I actually came home from , the courthouse that day and lost it on my kids, it was really my breaking point. , I was Screaming at them, you know I'll share with you that my my youngest will still get teary eyed when he thinks of that day. It was such a tough day It's actually the day that I finally allowed, you know I I started going on antidepressants and anti anxiety because up until that point I thought well, i've got a strong mind I'll just think my way out of it But sometimes you can't you have to listen to your body. So that happened and when she didn't acknowledge or apologize, it was like salt in this full body of wounds , and things never changed. We did see her again a couple of years later, again, similar, , lack of empathy or, , even kind of any [00:19:00] human connection. But what I decided along the journey, , is one, holding, holding a grudge or ill will or thinking about her, , that negative energy just takes too much energy. I wanted to focus on the fact that I was alive. I learned a lot of good things. And, we call it Unbreakable Day. I survived let me focus on that. The other thing I realized about both the driver and, even other people in my life that didn't necessarily show up the way I expected them to was that , We don't know, we don't know so much about the people around us, and we don't necessarily know what triggers them, what defenses they need to have. And I believe that the driver, like she doesn't acknowledge me or the event. That's her defense mechanism. Maybe that's how she has to get through the day. , and do I agree with it? Do I want to live that way? No. But can I [00:20:00] understand it? Yes. And so let me focus on what I can control.
Megan Imbert: That's so powerful. I was thinking in complete agreement that likely she has her own struggles and that's her own trauma that she's going to have to work through if she chooses to do so and confront it. It's avoiding or approaching when it comes to this kind of stuff. And I have a teacher in my life who reminds me all the time the only way to heal is to feel and to really sit with, it's taken some time where I've given the grace of forgiveness to people when I know I might not get the apology. And there's this beautiful, Hawaiian prayer. It's the Ho'oponopono prayer that I, I love it so much. I even, I even say it to my dog, and you can say it to the mirror, say it to your husband, your kids, but to look at someone in the eye and say, I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me.
Megan Imbert: Thank you. There's such a power to that. And when that first happened, where. [00:21:00] I was in a setting and people did that it reminded me of the moments in my life where I didn't get that apology or I didn't hear what I needed to hear. And So much of this is like when we're at war with ourselves and so mirror work for me is also a really big deal Staring at the mirror and I have another coach in my life Who's like do not leave that mirror until you see the miracle that's inside of you and I'm just like, okay, It just starts the day in this light of like, Oh wow, I am this miracle.
Megan Imbert: I am full of love and what compassion, what kind of light can I be? Because also bear in mind, the driver, , she easily could pick up your story one day, or I'm sure she, you never know what down the road could look like too. And regardless of whether or not you hold space there, , it's so powerful to have that love I just hope, I just hope people, they can forgive themselves as well, cause there's probably pieces of that as well in all of these situations. [00:22:00] How's your day to day routine changed?
Naseem Rochette: , I have to take it a little different, I say my operating system changed where before the accident, , there was music in every room, , it was probably out till three o'clock in the morning at the conferences, loving the, like the clubs and the lights. And, , I was a master of chaos. , I cannot be that. I'm not that person anymore. I found new value in this new person, but I can't, , I can't go to concerts. I can't have music playing in multiple rooms. The lights, , those things have changed and the way I work has changed as well. , I'm not that master juggler. I like to, go deeper and I'm more focused, but what's interesting is I found that as I go deeper and I'm more focused, this new me is also more vulnerable.
Naseem Rochette: And so I have been able to forge, , relationships and build trust. , and solve problems, , at work and in life in [00:23:00] ways that I wasn't able to before, because I wasn't as open.
Megan Imbert: How fascinating is that? I keep talking about obviously the frequency of courage. I'm a huge fan of courage. So courage and fear are on the same coin.
Megan Imbert: And then I feel like in order to get to love, that's that vulnerability. But what it sounds like you're in that authenticity frequency, which is even higher than love, which is vulnerability, the showing up unapologetically, this is who I am. This is what we need to do. The depth of relationships, I, I used to be someone that wanted to be liked by everyone and I wanted to have all the friends and always had FOMO of, oh, I'm going to miss out.
Megan Imbert: I want to be there. The pandemic years really changed that for me where it was like, actually. Who do I really want to have in proximity? Who do I actually like and want to be around as well? So it is super interesting when you go through challenging moments in life. Usually the people that show up are not who you would have maybe even expected.
Megan Imbert: In the work world as, as a people leader, [00:24:00] I've been really trying my best to just embody the kind of leader that I've always wanted to be, where it's like, I might not be on the same every single day or, there's things that are happening in the world that I think we need our full human to show up I just really feel like the more we all can feel safe for me to be myself, and stop wearing the masks.
Naseem Rochette: I love what you said there, Megan. I think as a leader, it is. It's especially important to show up and be an example of that vulnerability, one thing that I found, when I was at home and even when I went back to work, as I would share some of the struggles and the things that I was going through in my journey, people would share back.
Naseem Rochette: And so all these, people I knew sometimes for years and years and years, I didn't know what was going on with them. I didn't know, , sometimes about the cancers or the lost jobs or, other things that were very personal and [00:25:00] impactful. They weren't sharing that we're not used to sharing those things, but, sharing, like somebody has to share first, , and once you do, , I find people always share that.
Naseem Rochette: Definitely. And as leaders, once you start to share and create that culture, , you build much stronger community and collaboration and trust and, , I know it's, , an overused term, but the psychological safety in a team that you can bring your authentic self is so meaningful to both your day to day.
Naseem Rochette: Success and joy, but even the innovation and outcomes that you can drive in the business.
Megan Imbert: It's probably the most important thing in my book in terms of culture and creating more heart centered leaders, conscious leaders in terms of If you know that somebody is really going through a tough time It's so interesting because what I'm about to say is, especially us working in high tech, there's so much pressure, produce, produce, produce, [00:26:00] and if you don't know what's going on with members of your team, it's just kind of like almost cyberbullying in a sense in some environments where it's like Would you say that to someone's face, face to face?
Megan Imbert: Would you look them in the eye and have the demands or it's so interesting middle managers in corporate America, I think have the hardest job because it's like you're rolling things up.
Megan Imbert: You're also helping inspire and keep everyone on the same path. But if you have the safety where you can actually share what the the barriers are or, , with respect to people's privacy, like, Hey, this person needs a little bit space or a little bit more support. Then, I think it ends up making you more , profitable , because you're going to be able to produce something that's of more quality and think more about your priorities.
Megan Imbert: Have your priorities shifted? Are you doing more speaking? Where do you see the future when it comes to this experience for you?
Naseem Rochette: Yeah. So I am doing speaking and workshops. , I've written the book, , and candidly, I wrote the book, not expecting anyone to read it. It's an indie published book. So the success and, , winning book of the [00:27:00] year was such a wonderful surprise. But I see how many people as you know, you know, from the podcast, how many people have stories that they need to share, and so I'm, I'm, just thrilled to have the opportunity to do the talks and, , help people, recognize that, as I said before, breaking doesn't mean you're broken.
Naseem Rochette: So that's been fantastic, not leaving tech anytime soon. Really working hard to incorporate, many of these lessons, both in my day to day, the leadership and, as I help other leaders,
Megan Imbert: I love this and part of the reason I, just like what you said about you doing your book, the podcast was really for me to practice using my voice, sharing my story, reclaiming my voice.
Megan Imbert: The after effects of that is just giving other people the permission slip of sharing their stories and maybe trying something new or starting a new hobby but the ripple effect of this and the storytelling and the sharing and, [00:28:00] oh, well, if she can do that and if she can go through that, then I can too, we definitely need more of it and I, I keep thinking about this show and, every episode's my favorite because, There's just something unique about every single individual and I keep thinking I'm like wow the frequency of courage it's a movement This is more than a show just like what you're doing and how you're showing up So what do you hope your legacy looks like though when it comes down to it?
Naseem Rochette: there are probably a couple of things, one is embracing Unbreakable Day and giving ourselves a little credit for what we've gone through, because, as you talked about before, everybody's gone through something, but most times people sort of just shove it in the closet and, think it's, it's too hard to talk about or deal with. I don't want to be a downer, but we learn things in those moments.
Naseem Rochette: So take the time in this space to be kind to yourself and recognize and appreciate what you've gone through and , the resiliency you've built from those [00:29:00] things. And, , also , to appreciate the people that helped you in those moments. Because I think when we shove it in the closet, we don't bring it up again.
Naseem Rochette: We're also, not doing justice , to the people around us that, that show up for us.
Megan Imbert: One thing that you mentioned too around, not sharing and not giving voice to our experiences. Even if it's journaling or to yourself, like you don't need to start a podcast and go all over the news, you know, simply just sharing with a trusted friend.
Megan Imbert: Because what I'm really seeing and there's a lot more studies on women of the suppression of and we pack it down and we pack it down and then it perpetuates into illness and sickness and so we truly are doing a disservice when we're not voicing how we feel and what we're going through in a safe way and yeah, the kindness piece, there's so much that we can do on just a day to day basis that's free.
Megan Imbert: Saying hi to somebody, smiling, it's very, very simple.
Naseem Rochette: You're actually absolutely right. Another thing that I realized through this journey, , I call it positive energy, [00:30:00] but when you're in line for a coffee, holding the door, smiling at somebody, people feel that energy.
Naseem Rochette: And it can really help and change their, their day, so, so be present, , when you, you know, as often as you can be, I know we're all busy, but , if you can take the extra moment, I think people would be surprised at the ripple effect. Yeah,
Megan Imbert: and building of connection, even today when I was on my way to my Pilates class, I usually don't carry cash on me.
Megan Imbert: Sometimes I'll carry extra water bottle or something, if I see a homeless person, I'm in Austin. So we do have quite a few right now. And I was stopped at a stoplight. And, , a fellow was just sitting on the corner, I just looked over at him, and I didn't have anything to give him, but I just did the little wave, and he just smiled at me, and it was just like, I got tears welled up in my eyes, because I'm just like, the acknowledgement, , and the realizing , yeah, we, we all are going through something, and even where I live in my neighborhood, I don't know a lot of my neighbors but I noticed sometimes I might see the same, old man [00:31:00] walking and he's always suited up with his briefcase. And I'm just so curious, even today he's just walking through and I'm just like, good morning.
Megan Imbert: How are you? And he just, he looks so perked up like, wow, she said hi to me kind of thing. And, that's what I would want to encourage listeners to do is just look at your day to day and just, just. Slow down a little bit. I mean, literally slowing down, , in all the ways can, can save lives too. And coming full circle on your own story, when I don't know what the driver was experiencing that day, but I've lost an aunt in a car accident and it was where she pulled out a little too far , in a stop.
Megan Imbert: She was headed to a job fair. She knew she was losing her job. So of course her mind was elsewhere. And , it was an instant thing. And I remember being there to, to handle that for my family. When I experienced that, and that was my early twenties, I am the one now I, I almost stop at yellow lights. , if we're speeding around, it's going to save us maybe not even the same amount of time. I kind of giggle now when someone whips around me and then I see them at the stoplight. We can slow down [00:32:00] because literally could change everything.
Naseem Rochette: Yeah. , that presence is so important. I mentioned , I'm doing life coaching now. And I think, one of the reasons that so many people turn to coaches is because they just need that presence. They need to be heard. They need that thinking partner. And unfortunately, , we are all so busy and sometimes that just gets, gets lost.
Megan Imbert: Yeah. So for your coaching practice, who would you say are your ideal clients? Are there certain demographics that you prefer to work with or how is that going?
Naseem Rochette: candidly, , I'm working with people early career, mid career and , it's not necessarily even executive coaching. It's when you need to reframe your story. And that's really what I focus on because, the other thing that I really learned, and we talked a little bit about this is the words we choose, , being kind to ourself, those things really matter. And, , sometimes it just starts with reframing how we think about ourselves, [00:33:00] how we talk about ourselves, , , as coaching, it's not about me telling you to do it.
Naseem Rochette: It's about helping you find, , the courage and the insight within yourself to change your story and your words.
Megan Imbert: Wow. So inspiring. Is there anything on your heart today that we didn't touch on? I
Naseem Rochette: yeah, , it's a complex time in the world,, so I just want to stress how important there is those small moments of presence and energy are, the little smile, The saying hello, calling a friend, telling them how important they are to you. we always need that, but maybe we need it a little bit more right now.
Megan Imbert: So Unbreakable Day, I'm putting it in my calendar for May 21st. Are there certain traditions or, , anything that you'd like to do that day? Maybe it's writing some letters of gratitude or sending some voice messages, lighting some candles.
Megan Imbert: Is there anything that you do particularly?
Naseem Rochette: Everything you said [00:34:00] are great practices for Unbreakable Day. The first year of Unbreakable Day, I actually, , sent out an email to, , the people in my community that I felt had really helped me sharing some of the lessons. And, which later turned into, , part of the sermon section of my book, but, just acknowledging, acknowledging what you've been through, patting yourself on the back, taking a moment to breathe and, , one thing we didn't talk about, but I'm, I'm going to mention, I, I said, , at one point I started some meds cause you can't think your way out of everything.
Naseem Rochette: Give yourself a little grace. Look, when I'm crossing the street, my heart's still, pounding. I bet. Sometimes it's still hard. I can't think my way out of , I'm rationally, I know that it might be safe, but now I give myself the grace of, you know what? I'll just breathe for a second and then I'll cross.
Naseem Rochette: And that's okay.
Megan Imbert: Yeah. Our breath is our biggest ally. Some of this is, it's really getting out of our head and [00:35:00] into our body and if we over intellectualized versus feeling. When we get anxious or Angry or anything I always come back to my breath our breath is free. And if we learn how to Okay, that's coming on or if you're walking with someone I'm sure in those instances like anybody that knows it's just kind of like maybe they hold your hand or they're there whatever needs to happen and what I love about this conversation, too It does shed light on Reminders for us as we interact with other people to your point earlier we might not know what someone's going through and then some instances we do but we're moving so fast through life that we might forget that hey This is a challenging thing that, , some people don't even think about crossing the street.
Megan Imbert: And if they're walking with you, it's like, okay, we'll take our time, or maybe we'll go a different route or something like that. So I think that's, again, comes down to presence and really seeing the people that are around us and what they might be experiencing .
Megan Imbert: What do you feel like worked well in terms of when people wanted to check in with you? [00:36:00] And you could have been going through a wave of emotions But were there ways of framing how can I be there for you? because sometimes I think that at least I'm projecting here that can be kind of exhausting too if it's like I don't freaking know What I need right now.
Naseem Rochette: You actually bring up a Wonderful topic wonderful point. So one of the hardest questions for me Was how are you because I didn't want to be a downer and say well, I can't see I can't move I can't think I'm kind of miserable But then I also didn't want to say I'm good and kind of lie and not share So what I do now and what I tell people to do and you know in for my accident was before the tap backs So I couldn't you know, just give a heart don't ask a question to someone that's going through trauma Just say, I'm thinking about you here.
Naseem Rochette: If you need anything, , and just put out your love, but not ask for something, , because that very innocuous, how are you [00:37:00] has caused so much angst, for me. And, , for other people because you want to be honest and
Megan Imbert: yeah, and I do think people need the brutal honesty. I think we're at a place now too in society where it's like, I'm not good. And then also recognizing they're coming from a place of care versus like, I don't want to lash out at you right now, but I'm not good.
Naseem Rochette: I think that's why just saying, , I'm here for you and letting them respond on their own
Megan Imbert: time thinking about you. Yeah. I also appreciate too. And the day of, Instacart sending a meal, sending something, sometimes that can be helpful, without being too intrusive as well.
Naseem Rochette: You know, people can receive it, I mentioned the first, so the first time with the, when the accident happened, , all of those gifts early on were like debts in my ledger.
Naseem Rochette: I wasn't comfortable receiving it, , a few years after that, I [00:38:00] lost both of my parents, my father and my mother. And when people were sending me flowers and dinners, I could receive it. and feel the kindness. And it felt so good. It really helped so much.
Megan Imbert: For me, it's been around work on my own worthiness, my worthiness of receiving, my worthiness because I was always giving. I'm always the thoughtful one thinking of other people. And then when someone thinks of you, it's, it does matter. And when you get to that place of having capacity to receive it, it's really, really special.
Megan Imbert: I appreciate your willingness to make this experience something that can inspire other people. And I am so glad now that I, I know who you are and I want to follow your journey and support, however. Thank you for taking the time today to be on my show. Thank you for being a light and making, something so beautiful out of this experience.
Naseem Rochette: No, thank you, Megan. And thank you for all that [00:39:00] you're doing on Frequency of Courage.
Naseem Rochette: We, we need all the stories.