Fr. Mike answers that God does not make us with flaws, but we are all born with the unfortunate effects of original sin. We were all made in the image and likeness of God, but if we feel like some sinful behavior has been a part of us for as long as we can remember, that part doesn’t come from God. It comes from our fallen nature. Whether or not we were “born that way”, God still wants to make us holy and wipe away even the most deep-seated blemishes. God loves us just as we are, but loves us to...
Jul 25, 2019•10 min
Fr. Mike offers a follow-up to his video on Dr. John Gottman’s “four horsemen of the apocalypse” with this video on Dr. Gottman’s proposed remedy: the Golden Ratio. For every one instance of these four horsemen that signify a relationship is falling apart—which are defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, and contempt—there should be five instances of the opposite. The four horsemen still rear their heads in the healthy relationships that Dr. Gottman observed, but these relationships have the fol...
Jul 18, 2019•9 min
Fr. Mike goes all the way back to Genesis to explain why Catholics have a pope. God established the kingdom of Israel with the twelve sons of Jacob. Centuries later, he appointed David as the king who would unite this kingdom. Centuries after that kingdom was divided, Jesus established a new kingdom by appointing the twelve apostles. To unite this new kingdom, which is the Church, he appointed Peter as his vicar here on earth. Jesus is the king, but he gave the keys of the kingdom to Peter. This...
Jul 11, 2019•14 min
We hear the phrase “in the world but not of it” quite often. But how do we live that out in our everyday lives? Fr. Mike gives a crash course on how to follow Christ in situations where there may be tension between you and someone you’re close to. Reminding us of Matthew 10:34, “I have not come to bring peace, but a sword,” Fr. Mike explains that Jesus is a cause of division. As followers of Christ, we have to acknowledge and accept the painful reality that following him will cause us to be divi...
Jul 04, 2019•10 min
When it comes to trying to control God and keep him at a distance in our lives, there are at least two ways that we go about it. Either we lay low and stay out of trouble, or we excel at whatever task we’ve currently been assigned to. Both strategies intend to keep God out of our lives so we can keep doing what we’re doing, because we’re comfortable doing it. Well, if you’re in one of those camps, get ready because God can call you to something different any minute now. You may not have even not...
Jun 27, 2019•7 min
Fr. Mike is honest about why it’s so hard for us to make friends. A necessity for friendship is time, something that many of us simply don’t have. More than that, true friendship requires a painful level of vulnerability and transparency. When asking yourself who you are willing to be friends with, you’re really asking “Who are you willing to give access to your wounds?” With that in mind, consider what Jesus said: “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master ...
Jun 20, 2019•8 min
Fr. Mike asks if the bad things you think you don’t have the capacity to do are actually just things you don’t have the opportunity to do. A friend of Fr. Mike’s was recovering from an addiction, and this friend noticed how he was deceiving himself. He was telling himself “I would never …” when he should have been saying, “I haven’t yet ...” Many times the sins we avoid we have only avoided because we haven’t had the opportunity to commit them. Acknowledging that we may do something regretful if...
Jun 13, 2019•8 min
How we spend our time is one of the most valuable decisions we make, because time is one thing we can never get back once it’s gone. Maybe God is calling you to do something more with your time, in this very moment even, but distractions are pulling you in too many different directions to focus. Make no mistake, distractions steal our time, even those we willfully choose. Even worse, as St. Alphonsus Ligouri said, voluntary distraction can steal our soul. Maybe there’s a dozen different things y...
Jun 06, 2019•11 min
For many people, the Catholic Church’s teaching on in vitro fertilization and contraception is a hard one, but it is in concordance with the nature of things. The nature of a thing, as Fr. MIke puts it, is its “what-it’s-for-ness”. Sex is for procreation and the unity of the couple. Equally important is the fact that sex, not in vitro fertilization, is the natural way to bring forth a new life. Contraception and in vitro fertilization violate the nature of not only sex, but also the nature of th...
May 30, 2019•13 min
Perhaps you’ve felt the temptation to be a cookie-cutter Catholic, one who does all the Catholic things that other Catholics are doing because they think … well … that’s what makes us Catholic. But comparison is kind of like the cousin of envy, Fr. Mike says. If we only express our faith in certain ways because that’s what other believers around us our doing, we should re-examine our relationship with Christ. After all, he is the only one we should pattern our life after.
May 23, 2019•7 min
What good does feeling sorry for yourself do? Fr. Mike points out a hard truth in saying—while you have the right to grieve when tragic things happen in your life—you never have the right, or permission, to feel sorry for yourself. All it does is shrink the universe down to the size of you. It blocks out the blessings God gave you that you should be thankful for, and paralyzes you from joyfully giving to others. When you feel the temptation to feel sorry for yourself coming on, in the words of S...
May 16, 2019•9 min
Many people say God acted much differently in the Old Testament than he did in the New Testament. They say the God of the New Testament is merciful and compassionate, but in the Old Testament he is often harsh and unforgiving. A thorough look at Scripture reveals that this is not the case. God is in fact merciful and just throughout the Bible. Fr. Mike clears up a great deal of confusion between the Old and New Testaments, and shows how God has stayed quite the same since before the beginning of...
May 09, 2019•8 min
God wants you to be holy, so he is going to set you on a path of purification if you choose to do his will. He is the one who is going to make you holy. This process is going to strip away many things you hold dear. It’s going to require active participation in his will, doing what is right and good. But it’s also going to require passive acceptance of things that are out of your control. See everything you do and experience as a chance to grow in holiness, and God will make you into a saint.
May 02, 2019•13 min
Jesus asked the crippled man at the pool of Bethesda, “Do you want to be well?” It seems like an obvious question, but—as Fr. Mike explains—in order for this man to desire healing, he had to believe he could be healed. So many of us have given up on the thought that God can change us from whatever it is we don’t want to be into whatever it is we want to be, and what we believe he wants us to be. Whether it’s an illness, lack of willpower, or just lack of ability, we believe our problem is chroni...
Apr 25, 2019•8 min
There are many great ways to describe hope, but Fr. Mike defines it as “trust in another extended into the future.” He recalls two stories from the Gospels that exemplify what hope is not. When Peter denied Christ, and when the two travelers on the road to Emmaus abandoned their hope in Christ. Peter had Jesus (they were basically best friends), but—by denying him—was essentially saying he didn’t need Jesus. The travelers needed Jesus, but the way they saw it they no longer had him. Fr. Mike exp...
Apr 18, 2019•8 min
Fr. Mike’s words on taking up our crosses may come as a relief to many of us. He rejects the “harder is holier” approach, and reminds us that taking up our crosses is ultimately about having more freedom. Christ says “My yoke is easy, and my is burden light” (Matthew 11:30). God has a particular task for each of us, and taking up our crosses means denying what we want for our lives so that we can do God’s will. After all, that is what we were made to do and the only way to truly be free. “Then J...
Apr 11, 2019•11 min
Jiminy Cricket said “Always let your conscience be your guide,” but how do I know if I have a good conscience? A good conscience more often is concerned with our responsibilities than with our rights. It is more preoccupied with what God wants than with what I want. Fr. Mike tells us, “Stop thinking like the world and start thinking like God.” The world will have us think our conscience is the final judge on what is right and wrong, but as Catholics we know that God is the final judge, and our c...
Apr 04, 2019•12 min
When Catholics call Mary their mother, it may seem like they are taking away some of the respect due to Jesus and giving it to Mary. This is far from the case. Fr. Mike points out two reasons why calling Mary our mother can improve our relationship with Christ, and strengthen our faith life. Loving the people Jesus loves helps you love him more. The more you love Mary the more you love God. Jesus gave Mary to us as our Mother on the Cross. “When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he lov...
Mar 28, 2019•10 min
Fr. Mike discusses four signs that your relationship is in danger of falling apart, especially when it comes to stonewalling. Stonewalling, as used in the context of this episode, is when we refuse to communicate or cooperate with someone. Psychologist Dr. John Gottman calls it one of the “four horsemen of the apocalypse”, or one of four types of expression that indicate that your relationship is falling apart. The other three are defensiveness, criticism, and contempt. As Christians, we should ...
Mar 21, 2019•9 min
Fr. Mike is asked a lot about what to do when your life is thrown off course by a breakup. In a previous episode, Fr. Mike discussed four questions to ask yourself when discerning God’s will for your life. When presented with a new door (or big decision), ask yourself: Is it good? Is it open? Is it wise? Is it something I want? Now when applying this discernment process to a relationship, you have to remember that the other person is likely asking him or herself the same questions. The hardest h...
Mar 14, 2019•10 min
What does the Israelites’ forty years in the desert tell us about the purpose of Lent? Sure, they both involve the number forty—which often represents a time of test and trial in the Bible—but what’s the more important connection? The Israelites’ time in the desert and our forty-day Lenten fast represent God’s invitation for us to trust him completely. Fr. Mike explains, the Israelites did not believe the Lord could bring them into the Promised Land because it was inhabited by a people much more...
Mar 07, 2019•6 min
Fr. Mike knows the tricks we can play on ourselves when it comes to picking something for Lent. So he gives a straightforward guideline: Don’t pick something that’s arbitrary. Pick something that is necessary. In other words, don’t say you’re giving up watermelon when you know you will hardly eat watermelon anyway; and don’t give up hot showers if you know cold showers actually won’t help you grow in holiness. We can easily fool ourselves into thinking strictness equates to holiness. Likewise, w...
Feb 28, 2019•5 min
The value of a new parishioner introducing him or herself to parish life and just asking the priest, “How can I help?” is priceless. When entering a new community, we may have all of these ideas about what we can do to help, but to listen and simply tell the leaders that you are available shows humility and understanding. Fr. Mike knows firsthand about all of the different types of parishioners who are on fire for the Faith, and want to do something to enrich parish life. The ones who end up hel...
Feb 21, 2019•10 min
Fr. Mike breaks down the real definition of love, which is willing the good of the other for the other. He goes further than that though, saying that if we truly believe in Christ, then the loving thing to do would be to share Christ with others by being his witness. St. Valentine risked his life by being a witness for Christ and for love. In our calling as Christians, let’s be courageous and love others not just by doing good deeds for them, but by sharing Christ with them.
Feb 14, 2019•10 min
Fr. Mike explains how God restores our brokenness, especially when it comes to our bodies. So often, we find that the more precious a thing is, the more fragile it is. And when something precious is broken, we often think it’s become worthless. Like when we break a fragile teacup, we throw it away because it no longer has value. But that’s not the way it is with our bodies. God created us to be temples of the Holy Spirit, something very precious. But we’re not like fragile teacups. If we’re brok...
Feb 07, 2019•9 min
Yes, you are a burden. We are all burdens, including Fr. Mike, but we are burdens worth carrying. Many of us choose to deal with our problems on our own because we don’t want to bring our mess into other people’s lives. But the very nature of love is to sacrifice for others, and we cannot have any meaningful relationships in our lives if we do not share our burdens and bear some of the weight of other people’s burdens. “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”—Galatians 6:2...
Jan 31, 2019•8 min
It may seem too difficult, or even unrealistic, to be a saint today. The reality is though, a saint is simply someone who has conformed their will to the Father’s will rather than the spirit of the age. Fr. Mike mentions three popular mentalities that prevent us from becoming saints: Our hearts want instant gratification, while becoming like Christ is a process. Fr. Mike’s advice is learn to love the process. We like keeping our options open, but becoming a saint requires giving everything to Ch...
Jan 24, 2019•10 min
God has his commandments and everything, but aren’t there times when there are exceptions to God’s rule? It’s a trick we’ve all tried to pull. When a particular sin is too hard for us to avoid, we say to God—or perhaps a priest—something like, “I know the Church says don’t do this thing, but in my case it’s different.” In my case, there are obstacles that make avoiding the sin impossible. In my case, I think doing that thing is justified because of xyz, in my case … etcetera. This is what Fr. Mi...
Jan 17, 2019•8 min
Why is skipping mass a mortal sin? And when we do go to mass, why do we need to receive communion in a state of grace? It’s tempting to believe we can love God in whatever way suits us, but that’s not how love works. The way we express our love for God is through obedience and worship. Fr. Mike speaks a harsh truth when he says, “If you love God on your own terms, you don’t love God, you love yourself.” In the first of two explanations, Fr. Mike explains that going to Mass on Sunday is our weekl...
Jan 10, 2019•8 min
Who would have thought algebra and data could be the key to discernment? Fr. Mike explains that the discernment journey isn’t always about having this epiphany moment where your life’s purpose immediately becomes clear to you. Figuring out what God’s will is for you sometimes requires a step-by-step process where you gather data, so you can come closer to the answer you’re looking for. That’s how Fr. Mike found his vocation as a priest. It required a lot prayer, time in adoration, talking with o...
Jan 03, 2019•6 min
