The Fifth Column - podcast cover

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welchwww.wethefifth.com
Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition.

www.wethefifth.com

Episodes

#454 - A Conspiracy So Vast (w/ Jacob Siegel)

So many of you have written us demanding the return of Jacob Siegel that when word got to us that he was back in New York, we hunted him down and demanded that he submit to a *third* appearance on The Fifth . We discovered that Comrade Siegel, a gravelly voiced veteran of Afghanistan and Iraq and senior writer at Tablet, is hard at work on a book, an expansion of his already expansive essay “A Guide to Understanding the Hoax of the Century.” So we sat back in our chairs, asked a few questions, a...

May 09, 20242 hr 34 min

Members Only #209 - Rotten (and Racist) in Denmark

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Shogun erasure * Revolutionary accents * A debate on Israel and a subsequent anti-Moynihan calumny * Alas, anti-Semitism is common in certain parts of the world * Pointing this out seems pretty obvious * The WAV file * My melanated baby * Teaching kids versus raising kids * Indoctrinating someone else’s kids into your way of thinking is some serious cult shit * Torturing …...

May 06, 202422 min

#453 - No Step on Snek

* Children of the revolution * No journalists allowed! * The Italian Gadsden flag * Oh no, Matt Welch…no, no, no * In defense of …Al Sharpton? * Dead soul singers * The great Baby Huey * Forgiving student debt is insane * College is dumb but it makes economic sense…for now * The New York Times and NPR * Jihad rehab * Twitter welcomes another sexless fascist This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/sub...

May 03, 20241 hr 19 min

Members Only #208 - Bananas Foster

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * The Banana genocide * Professor, professor…let’s stick to the facts * A conspiracy documentary full of cranks and losers * 60 journalism professors find a story they cannot countenance * Listeners on ADHD and Adderall * RFK in CA * Nodding along with Lemon * How to talk to an Auschwitz survivor * The trickiness of memory * Two sets of rules * Peaceful protesters get a call fr…...

Apr 30, 202418 min

#452 - The Strawberry Statement 2024 / The Eternal Adderall Shortage (w/ C.J. Ciaramella)

A two-for-one offering from The Fifth: first, the lads discuss the ongoing student stupidities, free speech and protest, Kmele at TED, and how your views are probably pretty normal (ed. note: considering the full-court coverage of the Columbia intifada, it’s sort of surprising that no one is referencing this terrible 1970 film , written by Ad-Roc’s dad). And then, some bonus content with Reason’s C.J. Ciaramella, who joins to discuss the government war on Adderall, his own ADHD diagnosis, and wh...

Apr 25, 20242 hr 39 min

Members Only #207 - Columbia Breakdown: Next Stop Baader Meinhof?

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Swedish breakdown * Columbia breakdown * The continued rise of American extremism * The politics of “genocide” * The politics of propaganda * Chicago expectations * A newborn in the Fifdom * Our Batya episode * Trusting anti-trust? * The NPR excel spreadsheet * Books on McCarthy * Three best presidents? * The Watergate conspiracy is at least fun to believe...

Apr 22, 202420 min

#451 - The Battle of Batya (w/ Batya Ungar-Sargon)

You asked, we delivered. Our pal Batya Ungar-Sargon enters the octagon to (politely!) fight the Globalist Fifth on trade, Trump, robots, unions, automation, and a bunch of other stuff. But we also agree on lots of other things! Hear Batya talk about her wild Israel debate on Zerohedge, how her last book foresaw the NPR madness, and why perverse incentives have created a boring media echo chamber. Thanks for listening! Love, Oskar and Raoul This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this ...

Apr 19, 20242 hr 34 min

#450 - Republican Wine Moms and a Dead Double Murderer

* Ozempic Joe * The Juice has expired * Revisiting the “Trial of the Century” * The double murderer who “abandoned his race” * In defense of Marcia Clark * Dementia dads * Matt Lauer emerges * Nutty MTG, drunky Boebert * Arizona abortions * Operation Bubble Wrap * Poor guy in a ski mask shoots at cops * Group condemnations and the “IDW” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Apr 13, 20242 hr 54 min

Members Only #206 - Hitting From the Ladies' Tee

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Kid rapping * Saturday Night Fever is dark, dark movie * Girl dadding * Anti-communist manifestos * On Andrew and Israel * Big bombs in Iraq: not so fast, Andrew! * The normalization of extremism * Don’t be Paul Robeson * What it means to be “anti-war’ * Dehamasification * A bachelor party in NY * And much more!...

Apr 08, 202425 min

#449 - The Prince of Tide Pools (w/ Andrew Sullivan)

Third time’s even more charming! Andrew “Cheech” Sullivan is back, puffing away and ruminating on Israel, Iraq, conservatives, the trans movement, loud music from bluetooth speakers, the awfulness of Trump (who won’t be a dictator, btw), the resilience of American democracy, the resounding victories of the gay rights movement, and the general boringness of identity. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefift...

Apr 04, 20242 hr 45 min

Members Only #205 - Almost Lost, Unfortunately Found

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Last month’s “Second Sunday” broadcast was fun, boozy, and…almost lost. We won’t point any fingers—though they might be jabbed in the direction of a certain someone during the recording —but through a Peter Jackson-like audio excavation, it was saved. Was that a good thing? Errr…who knows. And so, with a few nips and tucks, here she is! And we’ll be back…...

Apr 02, 202424 min

#448 - A Hot Mess (w/ Kat Rosenfield)

The title says it all. The three lads were together, in the same studio, for the second time in as many months. And it’s possible that the start of this particular episode was, for whatever reason, a bit chaotic. But as we settle in with our friend novelist and journalist Kat Rosenfield, we ultimately managed to discuss a few things like… * Kat’s cancellation story * Her great New York mag piece from 2017 * Wait, what is sex trafficking? * Did Kat steal a sled from a kid? Or is that kid a filthy...

Mar 29, 20242 hr 41 min

#447 - Sour Lemon and the Blood Libels

* Note to Ben Shapiro: not sure Candace Owens is a big fan of the Jews * A sick little girl needs Bruins v. Rangers tickets. I mean…sort of. She recently had Covid… * When life gives you Lemon, fire him because he’s a terrible interviewer * How not to do an interview * Depression and ketamine * The Jamaican national anthem * The chocolate balls of Sweden (again) * Remembering Milo * A friend emails about Trump and democracy * Guys, pay attention to the actual bad stuff Trump has said * A wager o...

Mar 19, 20241 hr 26 min

Members Only #204 - Amplification Accusation: The Dumbest Debate Ever?

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Norm the Nosy Neighbor * A terrible coinage * Did Moynihan kick off this idiocy? Probably! * Why did we “amplify” a popular internet documentary that we didn’t like? * We should have disliked the thing we already disliked even more * Getting clicks is always more important than adhering to the unwritten colleague code * The only was to redeem for insufficient dislike of…...

Mar 18, 202420 min

#446 - Tik Tok Flip Flop, Porn-Free Texas, Democracy-Free Russia

* Too much toilet paper * A subway shooting in Brooklyn * BTW, dude isn’t dead * Mike Tyson might kill that YouTube guy with the dumb earrings * On banning Tik Tok * Texans have no porn * Who will win the Russian elections???? * Anti-Italian cable descramblers and freaky phones * Malaysian monitors Russian election from basement apartment in Malaysia * That’s not what democracy looks like * A Fani update * Repent for not disliking it enough This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this...

Mar 16, 20241 hr 16 min

#445 - Women Glow, Men Plunder (w/ Josh Szeps)

* How the Fifth Column helped destroy Josh’s public radio career * People who started on “our side” but went around the bend… * Consistency, people * The shrinking of acceptable American opinion * Sure, we all have our own biases…but… * Echo chambers and media fragmentation * Right wing “cancel culture” * Florida cancels DEI departments. Good or bad? * MSNBC panel: “Immigrants in Virginia? LOL!” * “And btw, crime isn’t real” The Uncomfortable Conversations Substack (and new YouTube channel ) Thi...

Mar 07, 20241 hr 28 min

#203 - Old Pee Eyes is Back

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Birthdays was the worst days, now Coen drinks champagne when he’s thirstay * Stolen packages * 9-0… but not really * Disaster for democracy! * We’re worried about Keith Olbermann * Disastrous polls for Ol’ Joe * The RAGE and the pride * As always, Trump is raising money * Keith is crying piss * A bizarro time machine * Some dating advice for (MAGA?) Mary...

Mar 06, 202411 min

#444 - We Sell Sanctuary

* The worst Scouse accent ever * Blackfishing * Trump and Tish * Lawyers and lawfare * A lunatic DEI artifact from…that company * Congress’s Venceremos Brigade * The immigrant song * The lads disagree… * With burning concern * Fetterman, Mitch, Biden, Tucker again * Matt Remke getting worked * And so much more! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Mar 02, 20242 hr 1 min

Members Only #202 - The End of Vice

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Back to New York * Subways and free markets * Milei pisses on mercantilism, MAGA types don’t notice * The Foxconn con * The rise and fall of Vice * No one talks about the content…they should * Funny, QAnon all the time doesn’t make money * Shane Gillis om SNL * Nora Dunn and Dice * The people will always decide * A very specific digression on Kansas City. Sorry. * Revisiting that …...

Feb 26, 202424 min

Members Only #201 - The Sounds of Blackness

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Matt calls in from a murder motel in Southern California that doesn’t really have wifi. He saves a few bucks. Kmele and Moynihan do the heavy lift. Everybody wins. A few topics discussed: * Houthi bodegas * Industrial policy schizophrenia * Will Kmele join the “back to Africa” movement? * Ujamma and Nyerere’s stash * The Fighting Sullivans (and no, the youngest wasn’…...

Feb 22, 202412 min

#443 - Take a Load off Fani / RIP Alexei

* The Fani Willis train wreck * Daddy and the sacks of cash * $9,999 * Russian McDonalds is so good that Tucker doesn’t care about freedom of the press * The political pilgrim * The murder of Alexei Navalny * A wave of whataboutism * Are your 19 year old daughters about to be drafted to fight in Gaza? * Time to retreat from the world? * OpenAI videos are sort of terrifying * Free Rachel Dolezal Kwame Nkrumah This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get ac...

Feb 16, 20241 hr 17 min

Members Only #200 - The Anti-Racist Headset

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Kmele gets an Apple Vision Thing because of he course he does. And he wears it the whole episode because of course he does. It’s a racist product, btw. And Bobby Jr’s Super Bowl ad was good. And Matt likes Usher, it seems. And certain conservatives like visiting and praising dirtbag dictatorships. And in case you hadn’t noticed, Joe Biden thinks it’s 19…...

Feb 14, 202434 min

#442 - In Defense of Colorblindness (w/ Coleman Hughes)

We’re back with two episodes smashed into one! So if you have a spare two hours… First up, our friend Coleman Hughes returns for a one-on-one conversation with Kmele about his brand-new book The End of Race Politics, which you should buy immediately . Also: Coleman was on Bill Maher’s show on Friday, most of which is available on YouTube. After an hour with Coleman, the full team is back for a few very uncomfortable conversations about a few very uncomfortable topics. Just listen and you’ll unde...

Feb 11, 20242 hr 10 min

Members Only #199 - Why You Should Never Fly Coach

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com A rebroadcast of Sunday’s live Zoom, available only to subscribers, of course. And this particular live event was only available to Never Fly Coach- tier subscribers. So you know what that means: If you’re not subscribed, maybe it’s time to pony up? And if you’re already a subscriber…remember that there are different tiers and that we can, in fact, quite…...

Feb 09, 202417 min

#441 - Dancing Daggers, Disturbed Dignity & Dozens of Drives to Delaware

* The point of a dagger * The Messenger of death * The billionaire model * WE NEED SOME QUICK BITES * The murder of James O’Keefe * Horrible people, horrible ideas, great writing * Requisite 2024 talk * In (soft of) defense of Jon Stewart * Cori Bush is the Whitney Houston of Congress * LD on Simmons pod * Jamaal Bowmen is the Philip Larkin of 9/11 (hmmmmmm) * Yay for Aaron! * And so much more! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus ...

Feb 01, 20241 hr 28 min

Members Only #198 - Everybody's a Critic (Vol. 144)

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * A black man on his toes * MJ at the Apollo * A “Compassionate” Traitor * Ron Radosh’s review of the doc * An entire life of lies * And a list of actual commies in the government (Note from MM: When I say “married to Ethel Rosenberg, * A shitty copy of Mission to Moscow * Listeners and Redditors: you’re wrong about Trump and democracy * The man vs. the movement / MAGA vs. po…...

Jan 29, 202428 min

#440 - From Nashua to Haaazzaaa

Oh dear. Watching the New Hampshire returns, the lads do a spot-on impression of the good old, liquor-soaked days of 2016 Fifth Column and get pretty deep in their cups…so yeah, sorry about this one. * Trump wins * Cutting from Trump’s dumb speech * 20 percent for Dean Phillips * This is, in fact, democracy * No one says anything on cable news * The speeches * The overstatement machine * Moralism doesn’t work * A brave defense of Iran-backed Islamism * A sort of drunken rant about hipster Houthi...

Jan 24, 20242 hr 59 min

Members Only #197 - Grappling Joe, Ending Ron, Inevitable Don

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Michael Winslow RIP? * Joe Rogan would tear Kmele in half * The cockfighting story that never was * Some pretty pathetic fight stories * That insane UK piano player video * HHHHHHAMAAAAAAZZZ * Chris on Kmele’s pejorative for the Irish * The end of Ron * It was always “inevitable” * Back to the basement * Voters and immigration: not that complicated * You want European politics? * Trump’…...

Jan 23, 202421 min

#439 - Ladies Tees and Democracy Pleas

* This time, we’re not going to hold back * Destroying from the ladies tees * I love with Doug * More media implosions * ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ * Democracy is over when my irrelevant newspaper folds * Passover is too Jewish * The uniqueness of the Holocaust * Opinion mongers making calls about newsworthiness * This era as history * Whatchutalkinabout Fani Willis * Ross Douthat and “Neocon Nikki” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, vi...

Jan 21, 20242 hr 50 min

Members Only #196 - You Make a Lotta Money

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com In a rebroadcast of our latest Second Sunday, Tina Nguyen joins the lads again to discuss Substack, Andrew Yang, Kmele fighting another podcast host, James Bond, Tucker Carlson, Vietnamese immigrants, militias, and…the great Tom Vu. In case you’re unfamiliar with America’s greatest Vietnamese import, some of his greatest hits ....

Jan 19, 202416 min