The Fifth Column - podcast cover

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welchwww.wethefifth.com
Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition.

www.wethefifth.com

Episodes

Members Only #259 - Tariffed into Chastity

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Tickets for tomorrow’s Moynihan-moderated debate at the Village Underground can be purchased here ! And subscribe to the Moynihan Report YouTube channel ! * Winnipeg land acknowledgements * Prison competition * Tariffs for erotic French movies * Traitorous Hollywood not paying enough to make movies * A listener wants to talk about Steph Curry * Rare books * Lying on the fact…...

May 06, 202518 min

#503 - Mea Minima Culpa

They’re all back. And they recorded a very fun, very long one…during the day…to minimize drunken regrets. So many topics are covered—the Koch brother, the last episode, bad interviewers, bad manners, the strange new media, the strange new Ukraine strategy, exit Walz, etc—that we might as well dispense with the usual bullet points and just get right into it…Enjoy! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.c...

May 03, 20252 hr 11 min

Members Only #258 - We Don't Talk About Fight Club (Mostly)

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Moynihan couldn’t make it (we don’t know where he is, but if you see a shirtless man yelling at a parking meter in lower Manhattan, please let us know). In his absence, Kmele and Welch cover a wide swath: alien oceans and scientific hype cycles, the collapse of local journalism, the rise of YouTube basketball nerds, and why Luka Dončić is the people’s MVP. They also wade into darker waters—federal crackdowns on camp...

May 01, 202518 min

#502 - The Second Battle of Batya (w/ Batya Ungar-Sargon)

Errr….This one gets pretty heated. But we’re all still friends! We think. And Moynihan is now sober and his blood sugar is back to normal, so there’s that too. Either way, hats off to Batya for braving another episode with three people who disagree with her on pretty much everything. We talk Tariffs, Trump, lawfare, Ukraine, and everything in between. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Apr 24, 20252 hr 5 min

Members Only #257 - I'll Ruin Everything You Are

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * The Hungarian dentist and the prostitute theory * Your TV wife sees Hitler all the time, no? * Facilitate… * Dinners with politicians * A digression on Big Star ( FYI: "Holocaust” ) * Elder scams * Apple Watches and proof of life * Back to Rogan and Murray * A trip to Libya for a copy of the Green Book * #9 Fifth Dream * Doing an impression of a smart person / Paul believes * A theory …...

Apr 23, 202521 min

Members Only #256 -- How Media and Public Health Failed Our Kids (w/ David Zweig)

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com On May 11, 2020, as I was navigating personal collapse (“it’s been a really shitty two months,” I said on an interesting-to-listen-to-now Special Dispatch #20 ), my two daughters were wrestling unhappily with Zoom school, and all three of us lads were in the process of buying Covid cars, I came across a Wired article that landed like a Cher-style open-ha…...

Apr 21, 202519 min

#501 - Due Process in Scare Quotes (w/ Jesse Singal)

Moynihan is out with a “tooth thing” (which sounds lame, but is allegedly a “painful,” “very serious” dental emergency that definitely doesn't involve a tall, attractive blonde woman). Fortunately, our pal Jesse Singal ( Blocked and Reported , Singal-Minded ) is along for the ride, and outlines the plans for his heroic crusade to save THE REPUBLIC by beefing with JD Vance on X. We dive into Trump 2.0’s extra-constitutional improvisations, fail to steer clear of trade policy, and search desperate...

Apr 18, 20251 hr 26 min

#500 - The Triumph of the Idiots

Is this episode 500?? Well, not really. Likely a bit higher. There have been some numbering convention mixups over the years and we’ve also recorded almost 300 paywalled episodes (yes, you should subscribe now, ya skinflints). But let’s just pretend it’s 500 and say…happy 500th episode, Fifth Column! * Waymo through skid row * The dumb right * Dead cats bounce * They took brown doublewides from us * Nixon, but in the open * Where are the Dems? * Besides magic * The DEI trade off? * The sweet met...

Apr 10, 20251 hr 43 min

Members Only #255 - Val Kilmer Didn't Die for This

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Val, Tombstone, Top Secret * Top Gun takes it to 11 * One the best Hollywood memoirs * RIP Capucine * African-American Monday * Johnny Depp, musician * OK TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE COLLAPSING ECONOMY * Spartacus moment? Once they start flipping… * “They couldn’t believe it. Ben Shapiro, of all people…” * A Norwegian. A Dane…and a guy who *isn’t Finnish, Matt* * On the best fight of …...

Apr 07, 202529 min

#499 - One of the Dumbest Decisions in American Political History? (w/ Scott Lincicome)

* We bring back the great economist Scott Lincicome to separate MAGA myths from inconvenient facts on trade, trade imbalances, ChatGPT math, and getting “ripped off” by our (former?) allies. * Note: watch Kmele and Moynihan (and Gerald Posner) on the latest episode of the Moynihan Report * Eli’s new Liberation Day jam * These tariffs are dumb * Really, really dumb * Ruinously dumb * Laura Loomer is dumb * Tom Sowell isn’t dumb * MAGA’s Iraq This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this...

Apr 04, 20251 hr 31 min

Members Only #254 - These Days of the Condor

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Tomorrow on The Moynihan Report: Actor and former fat guy Ethan Suplee ( American History X, Wolf of Wall Street, Mall Rats, Remember the Titans ). You can watch live at 4pm ET here. Archived there too! * Muslims and parking * No turkeys in NYC * Matt to the mothership * Austin Fifdom * Kmele and a Complete Unknown * Our paranoid times * No MAGA, no paranoia? * When you’ve lo…...

Apr 01, 202520 min

#498 - The Signal and the Boys

* FYI: If you want to join the Zoom for March 27 episode of The Moynihan Report at 4pm ET, use this link * The Legend of Gavin and Charlie * Bob in Tulsa * Moyn in Miami * The bumbling Signal Boyz * We hope our kids never lie like this * Defund NPR * Another 25% will save American industry * Remember the minerals deal? * The jury on whether we should execute the judiciary * Car swastikas * And much, much more! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get ...

Mar 27, 20251 hr 45 min

#496 - Ich bin ein Disappointed Konspiracy Theorist

* Live tweeting history * The importance of Jack * The “climate of hate” * Some of these goofballs are normal * RIP Manny * The fake ceasefire * If only were weren’t a democracy… * Back to Gaza * Civil liberties, due process, and magicians * And a bunch more…. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Mar 19, 20251 hr 20 min

Members Only #253 - One-Armed Lithuanians and Mute Latvian Cats

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * The golden age of Oaktown’s 357 ("I just put Juicy, Got Him Crazy into Chat GPT to determine what it's about and it is definitely a song about...." * Yes, we briefly talk about forgotten about rappers and their dumb lyrics * Pumps and the Bump * Grok has this to say about our Hammer convo: “The casual acceptance of MC Hammer’s Speedo situation is absurdly funny.”...

Mar 19, 202521 min

Members Only #252 - On a Sunday, On the Lash (w/ Thomas Chatterton Williams)

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com A rebroadcast of our last subscriber-only Second Sunday episode. Thomas Chatterton Williams stops by. Everyone’s in the same room. Many bottles are emptied. Many offensive jokes told. Many careers destroyed. Enjoy.

Mar 17, 202520 min

#495 - Cranks, Conspiracies, Campuses, and Ceasefires

* The one Jew she likes * The amateur crank historian * The cranks always end at…take a guess * Kmele isn’t interested in Ms. Macron’s dong * Show we draw some distinctions? * Congrats to the Buchananites * The weirdness of Gavin Newsom’s podcast * On Bannon * On Columbia, the first amendment, masks, and dangerous idiots * The Ukraine non-deal * And much, much more This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth...

Mar 15, 20251 hr 56 min

Members Only #251 – We Got Five Years of Covid Fury

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com I was very moved by friend & past guest Jeff Blehar ’s Covid anniversary piece , so … I just read it out loud. And added related commentary for paying subscribers. Some links alluded to therein, in rough order of reference: * Reason Roundtable Covid look-back * Related Twitter thread * “ The Great COVID Rupture : Three years after ‘15 days to slow the spread,’…...

Mar 13, 202516 min

#494 - State of Delusion

* A very long SOTU * Al Green meets Buju Banton, Tripadvisor objects * The most beautiful, terrifying word in the English language * The “deficit” you shouldn’t care about * The forgotten Foxconn boondoggle * The hopeless Democrats * Maybe look at, say, Dean Phillips and ignore the Squad * Asian finger cuffs * Two cheers for parliamentary democracy * Poor lil’ Marco * Who killed Gene Hackman’s dog? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bo...

Mar 05, 20251 hr 38 min

Members Only #250 - Twitter Is Now Real Life

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com There’s some discussion of parenting. A tiny bit about the Oscars. And a bunch about the triumph of conspiracy culture. But this is mostly a subscriber-only episode about the Zelensky debacle and the ongoing U.S. foreign policy realignment. So why bother with bullet points?’

Mar 03, 202519 min

#493 - Fifth Extra: John Bolton on Trump 2.0

* Trump’s maturity * Trump’s deal making * Trump and NATO * Trump vs. Europe * Trump and Taiwan * A price on Bolton’s head * Is he a neocon? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

Mar 02, 202539 min

#492 - How Deep Is Your State

* The traffickers of the Fifth Column * The genius of Bill Belichick * Those Boston boys aren’t so terrible after all * Nick v. Stewart * Democracy died in the light! * The WaPo freakout * The press pool freakout * No one believes in anything, part 387 * The “Epstein files” will contain nothing of interest * A “Roman” salute that no one noticed * MSNBC is apparently racist * A live event in NYC! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus...

Feb 28, 20251 hr 51 min

Members Only #249 - Killing Us Softly

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * RIP Roberta * What’s the “woke right?” No idea. * MAGA Brooklyn * Reform Party 2000! * Nadia didn’t pay, so… * But does it vindicate the collusion narrative? * Eli Lake’s “Framed and Guilty” * The Great Negotiator * The rise of AfD…and the end of Europe? * Kmele and Kanye (“ He’s a NAZI, Kmele, a NAZI …”) * Moynihan’s memory * Drinking with Team Uterus...

Feb 25, 202521 min

#491 - The Last Globalist

* Matt vs. the Gremlins * He lasts about 20 minutes * Subscribe to the pod so he can stay at normal hotels that don’t use Compuserve * Two minutes of Kayne and the Yahud * Everything is a lie * Free speech king goes Russiagate * Trump’s Ukraine disgrace * Allies and Axis 2.0 * Here DOGEy DOGEy DOGEy * Misunderstanding democracy * The animals of Hamas * Inhumanity makes one inarticulate * 😡🐰🥚 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus ...

Feb 21, 20251 hr 28 min

Members Only #248 - Marvin, Mugshots, and Migrants

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * If this plane crashes, it’ll just be ‘Steve Wozniak, Allen Iverson, and some other people’ * Murder motel in Huntington Beach * Marvin Gaye's confession * A shot, a beer, and Paddington 3 * Brexit, bananas, and robber outfits * Not their best. But sort of. * The New York Times ’s dumb report from Europe * Does Vance have a point? * Ukraine negotiations without Ukraine * A bunch m…...

Feb 17, 202519 min

#490 - Among the Bullshitters

So we took a few days off. We deserved it. Sort of. And after all, there were pilots to filmed, kids to be cared for, conferences to attend. Indeed, on Friday we gave a talk at a wonderful University of Florida conference on America’s love of bullshit. But we begged off from the proceedings for an hour to record an episode. Because we love you guys. And because we needed to discuss Pete Hegseth, beer bongs and Goldschlager luges, Elon’s weird kids, the future of DOGE, the future of Ukraine, Isla...

Feb 16, 202558 min

#489 - Neocon Don and Sandals Gaza

* The hockey plumber * A very brief return to tariffs * Let’s fight the drug war again! Yay! * Neocon Don wants to make Gaza great…for the first time * This is a very, very bad idea * Like…an extraordinarily bad idea * The 80-20 issue * Lia’s standup special * 60 Minutes in the docket * “Restoring freedom of speech” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Feb 06, 20251 hr 52 min

Members Only #247 - The Dumbest War Begins

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com We asked ChatGPT to give us some titles for this episode. Turned out to be a pretty decent précis of the discussion…and the last one is particularly good: "Tariffs, TikTok, and Toe-Kneading Terror" "Mary Poppins: Feminist Propaganda & Economic Illiteracy" "Avocados vs. American Fish: The Dumbest Trade Debate Ever" "Trump’s Tariff Tantrum: The Art of the Du…...

Feb 03, 202521 min

#488 - By Order of the MAGAstate

* First class mud hobbit * At the 80th in Poland * An executive flurry * The interrogation of RFK * In defense of pharma * The interrogation of Kash Patel * Give us Greenland, Part 32 * Overreach on DEI? * Frozen budgets * Getting the win * Is *this* the art of the deal? * Why were the JFK/RFK/MLK files held back? * And what will we find therein… * The most annoying Kennedy * Trusting Deepseek * Has the press learned its lesson? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other ...

Feb 01, 20251 hr 44 min

Members Only #246 - Premature Denazification

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Moynihan in Poland (Katya stole his mic) * Ronalda Reagana * Know a Nowa Huta * Onward to Auschwitz * Maybe don’t speak to the far-right German party? * Axis of anti-Woke * Unimpressed with nation-states * The Best Black History Month Report, EVER * Lia vs. MLK Part II * Rufo’s Sore "Winning" * Activism vs. Truth * Our “Blind spot” * Yellow/Blue Dress Explained * YOUR Outrage (Not Mine) * Ove…...

Jan 27, 20251 hr 8 min

#487 - A Symphony of Horror

* The Zombies reunion * Edibles and expressionism * A ghost on the knee * Who needs a desk when democracy’s dead? * Outage equality * Don’t ever integrate? * Segregation redux * Why Steve hates Elon * Those terrible oligarchs * Who needs the Constitution when we have executive orders? * The Jan 6 pardons: a disagreement * The art of the overcharge * Ross Ulbricht goes home This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.we...

Jan 23, 20251 hr 56 min
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