* Racist Macca? * Some bad names * In praise of (trans?) Pee Wee * Does Long Duck Dong denounce his past? * Was that a Reaganite video game? * Trade war nonsense: the court says…maybe not * Moynihan’s $700 dress (including a $250 tariff) * Kmele on CNN * The end of Elon * Just like Reagan and Thatcher but not all * No suspects, no DNA, no fingerprints, no leads * MI:7 DEI This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wet...
May 30, 2025•1 hr 8 min
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * We think we *might* have talked about politics in this episode? * Happy anniversary Christian Cooper! * Talking to the dude who made those drug PSAs * The Glug (1981) * 2020: The year that broke America * Burning down the house (almost) * The tax protestor in our midst * Johnny Rotten, Johnny Ramone, the Plastic People, and the politics of punl * Nick of Schumpeterian Gatsby…...
May 28, 2025•20 min
* The ritual humiliation white genocide slide show! * That’s not really true. But it doesn’t really matter, does it? * Trolling with refugees * That Mandela picture MM mentioned… * Uncle Paul * “Well do you DENOUNCE that language? Huh? Huh? Did you even say thank you??” * The big, not-so-beautiful bill * The trillion dollar dome * Gaza and the “14,000” * Our Original Sin and Korean Robert * When did he lose it? * That Christie clip is actually six years old. But here it is . This is a public epi...
May 22, 2025•1 hr 26 min
* Jack London and hobo Oakland * The lovely government of Qatar * Trump in Saudi * A carnival of corruption * Chasing heroes… * The end of the “introventionalists” * But do they *fear* him? * The new Chomskyites * Declining freedom… * Trump’s fat, rich friend who wants price controls * The triumph of gesture politics * Black Leo This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...
May 15, 2025•1 hr 38 min
You demanded, we complied. Last month in this space, I interviewed science/technology/Covid journalist David Zweig about his great new book, An Abundance of Caution : American Schools, the Virus, and a Story of Bad Decisions . It was a bracing conversation, filled with damning media/elite criticism, blue-state horrors, and F-bombs galore. Then a funny thing happened: Dozens of you wonderful paying subscribers said Mr. Welch, tear down this paywall, so we can share this with our normie friends! A...
May 14, 2025•1 hr 13 min
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * The Bill Bixby of East Egg * Figure it out, people * Solitude: City vs. Country (not a reference to the Jonathan Richman song , btw) * Allemansrätten and who makes the most money in your postal code * Jawohl CHEF! * Banning internships will help the poor * “Worse than Watergate” and the Ballad of G. Gordon Liddy * How does one start restoring a car * The brilliance of our mod…...
May 12, 2025•19 min
UPDATE: The initial version of this episode was missing two audio clips, both of them featuring exceptionally stupid people saying exceptionally stupid things. To be honest, you were be better off not hearing either of them. But the episode has been corrected, the punishing stupidity included, and now you’re worse off… * Notes from a live event (going live later today ) * Fifdom represents * Spotify exposes! * RIP Swampy * India, Pakistan, and the American retreat * Ending power, hard and soft *...
May 08, 2025•1 hr 56 min
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Tickets for tomorrow’s Moynihan-moderated debate at the Village Underground can be purchased here ! And subscribe to the Moynihan Report YouTube channel ! * Winnipeg land acknowledgements * Prison competition * Tariffs for erotic French movies * Traitorous Hollywood not paying enough to make movies * A listener wants to talk about Steph Curry * Rare books * Lying on the fact…...
May 06, 2025•18 min
They’re all back. And they recorded a very fun, very long one…during the day…to minimize drunken regrets. So many topics are covered—the Koch brother, the last episode, bad interviewers, bad manners, the strange new media, the strange new Ukraine strategy, exit Walz, etc—that we might as well dispense with the usual bullet points and just get right into it…Enjoy! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.c...
May 03, 2025•2 hr 11 min
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Moynihan couldn’t make it (we don’t know where he is, but if you see a shirtless man yelling at a parking meter in lower Manhattan, please let us know). In his absence, Kmele and Welch cover a wide swath: alien oceans and scientific hype cycles, the collapse of local journalism, the rise of YouTube basketball nerds, and why Luka Dončić is the people’s MVP. They also wade into darker waters—federal crackdowns on camp...
May 01, 2025•18 min
Errr….This one gets pretty heated. But we’re all still friends! We think. And Moynihan is now sober and his blood sugar is back to normal, so there’s that too. Either way, hats off to Batya for braving another episode with three people who disagree with her on pretty much everything. We talk Tariffs, Trump, lawfare, Ukraine, and everything in between. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...
Apr 24, 2025•2 hr 5 min
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * The Hungarian dentist and the prostitute theory * Your TV wife sees Hitler all the time, no? * Facilitate… * Dinners with politicians * A digression on Big Star ( FYI: "Holocaust” ) * Elder scams * Apple Watches and proof of life * Back to Rogan and Murray * A trip to Libya for a copy of the Green Book * #9 Fifth Dream * Doing an impression of a smart person / Paul believes * A theory …...
Apr 23, 2025•21 min
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com On May 11, 2020, as I was navigating personal collapse (“it’s been a really shitty two months,” I said on an interesting-to-listen-to-now Special Dispatch #20 ), my two daughters were wrestling unhappily with Zoom school, and all three of us lads were in the process of buying Covid cars, I came across a Wired article that landed like a Cher-style open-ha…...
Apr 21, 2025•19 min
Moynihan is out with a “tooth thing” (which sounds lame, but is allegedly a “painful,” “very serious” dental emergency that definitely doesn't involve a tall, attractive blonde woman). Fortunately, our pal Jesse Singal ( Blocked and Reported , Singal-Minded ) is along for the ride, and outlines the plans for his heroic crusade to save THE REPUBLIC by beefing with JD Vance on X. We dive into Trump 2.0’s extra-constitutional improvisations, fail to steer clear of trade policy, and search desperate...
Apr 18, 2025•1 hr 26 min
Is this episode 500?? Well, not really. Likely a bit higher. There have been some numbering convention mixups over the years and we’ve also recorded almost 300 paywalled episodes (yes, you should subscribe now, ya skinflints). But let’s just pretend it’s 500 and say…happy 500th episode, Fifth Column! * Waymo through skid row * The dumb right * Dead cats bounce * They took brown doublewides from us * Nixon, but in the open * Where are the Dems? * Besides magic * The DEI trade off? * The sweet met...
Apr 10, 2025•1 hr 43 min
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Val, Tombstone, Top Secret * Top Gun takes it to 11 * One the best Hollywood memoirs * RIP Capucine * African-American Monday * Johnny Depp, musician * OK TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE COLLAPSING ECONOMY * Spartacus moment? Once they start flipping… * “They couldn’t believe it. Ben Shapiro, of all people…” * A Norwegian. A Dane…and a guy who *isn’t Finnish, Matt* * On the best fight of …...
Apr 07, 2025•29 min
* We bring back the great economist Scott Lincicome to separate MAGA myths from inconvenient facts on trade, trade imbalances, ChatGPT math, and getting “ripped off” by our (former?) allies. * Note: watch Kmele and Moynihan (and Gerald Posner) on the latest episode of the Moynihan Report * Eli’s new Liberation Day jam * These tariffs are dumb * Really, really dumb * Ruinously dumb * Laura Loomer is dumb * Tom Sowell isn’t dumb * MAGA’s Iraq This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this...
Apr 04, 2025•1 hr 31 min
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Tomorrow on The Moynihan Report: Actor and former fat guy Ethan Suplee ( American History X, Wolf of Wall Street, Mall Rats, Remember the Titans ). You can watch live at 4pm ET here. Archived there too! * Muslims and parking * No turkeys in NYC * Matt to the mothership * Austin Fifdom * Kmele and a Complete Unknown * Our paranoid times * No MAGA, no paranoia? * When you’ve lo…...
Apr 01, 2025•20 min
* FYI: If you want to join the Zoom for March 27 episode of The Moynihan Report at 4pm ET, use this link * The Legend of Gavin and Charlie * Bob in Tulsa * Moyn in Miami * The bumbling Signal Boyz * We hope our kids never lie like this * Defund NPR * Another 25% will save American industry * Remember the minerals deal? * The jury on whether we should execute the judiciary * Car swastikas * And much, much more! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get ...
Mar 27, 2025•1 hr 45 min
* Live tweeting history * The importance of Jack * The “climate of hate” * Some of these goofballs are normal * RIP Manny * The fake ceasefire * If only were weren’t a democracy… * Back to Gaza * Civil liberties, due process, and magicians * And a bunch more…. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...
Mar 19, 2025•1 hr 20 min
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * The golden age of Oaktown’s 357 ("I just put Juicy, Got Him Crazy into Chat GPT to determine what it's about and it is definitely a song about...." * Yes, we briefly talk about forgotten about rappers and their dumb lyrics * Pumps and the Bump * Grok has this to say about our Hammer convo: “The casual acceptance of MC Hammer’s Speedo situation is absurdly funny.”...
Mar 19, 2025•21 min
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com A rebroadcast of our last subscriber-only Second Sunday episode. Thomas Chatterton Williams stops by. Everyone’s in the same room. Many bottles are emptied. Many offensive jokes told. Many careers destroyed. Enjoy.
Mar 17, 2025•20 min
* The one Jew she likes * The amateur crank historian * The cranks always end at…take a guess * Kmele isn’t interested in Ms. Macron’s dong * Show we draw some distinctions? * Congrats to the Buchananites * The weirdness of Gavin Newsom’s podcast * On Bannon * On Columbia, the first amendment, masks, and dangerous idiots * The Ukraine non-deal * And much, much more This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth...
Mar 15, 2025•1 hr 56 min
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com I was very moved by friend & past guest Jeff Blehar ’s Covid anniversary piece , so … I just read it out loud. And added related commentary for paying subscribers. Some links alluded to therein, in rough order of reference: * Reason Roundtable Covid look-back * Related Twitter thread * “ The Great COVID Rupture : Three years after ‘15 days to slow the spread,’…...
Mar 13, 2025•16 min
* A very long SOTU * Al Green meets Buju Banton, Tripadvisor objects * The most beautiful, terrifying word in the English language * The “deficit” you shouldn’t care about * The forgotten Foxconn boondoggle * The hopeless Democrats * Maybe look at, say, Dean Phillips and ignore the Squad * Asian finger cuffs * Two cheers for parliamentary democracy * Poor lil’ Marco * Who killed Gene Hackman’s dog? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bo...
Mar 05, 2025•1 hr 38 min
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com There’s some discussion of parenting. A tiny bit about the Oscars. And a bunch about the triumph of conspiracy culture. But this is mostly a subscriber-only episode about the Zelensky debacle and the ongoing U.S. foreign policy realignment. So why bother with bullet points?’
Mar 03, 2025•19 min
* Trump’s maturity * Trump’s deal making * Trump and NATO * Trump vs. Europe * Trump and Taiwan * A price on Bolton’s head * Is he a neocon? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
Mar 02, 2025•39 min
* The traffickers of the Fifth Column * The genius of Bill Belichick * Those Boston boys aren’t so terrible after all * Nick v. Stewart * Democracy died in the light! * The WaPo freakout * The press pool freakout * No one believes in anything, part 387 * The “Epstein files” will contain nothing of interest * A “Roman” salute that no one noticed * MSNBC is apparently racist * A live event in NYC! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus...
Feb 28, 2025•1 hr 51 min
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * RIP Roberta * What’s the “woke right?” No idea. * MAGA Brooklyn * Reform Party 2000! * Nadia didn’t pay, so… * But does it vindicate the collusion narrative? * Eli Lake’s “Framed and Guilty” * The Great Negotiator * The rise of AfD…and the end of Europe? * Kmele and Kanye (“ He’s a NAZI, Kmele, a NAZI …”) * Moynihan’s memory * Drinking with Team Uterus...
Feb 25, 2025•21 min
* Matt vs. the Gremlins * He lasts about 20 minutes * Subscribe to the pod so he can stay at normal hotels that don’t use Compuserve * Two minutes of Kayne and the Yahud * Everything is a lie * Free speech king goes Russiagate * Trump’s Ukraine disgrace * Allies and Axis 2.0 * Here DOGEy DOGEy DOGEy * Misunderstanding democracy * The animals of Hamas * Inhumanity makes one inarticulate * 😡🐰🥚 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus ...
Feb 21, 2025•1 hr 28 min
