The Fifth Column - podcast cover

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welchwww.wethefifth.com
Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition.

www.wethefifth.com

Episodes

Members Only #248 - Marvin, Mugshots, and Migrants

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * If this plane crashes, it’ll just be ‘Steve Wozniak, Allen Iverson, and some other people’ * Murder motel in Huntington Beach * Marvin Gaye's confession * A shot, a beer, and Paddington 3 * Brexit, bananas, and robber outfits * Not their best. But sort of. * The New York Times ’s dumb report from Europe * Does Vance have a point? * Ukraine negotiations without Ukraine * A bunch m…...

Feb 17, 202519 min

#490 - Among the Bullshitters

So we took a few days off. We deserved it. Sort of. And after all, there were pilots to filmed, kids to be cared for, conferences to attend. Indeed, on Friday we gave a talk at a wonderful University of Florida conference on America’s love of bullshit. But we begged off from the proceedings for an hour to record an episode. Because we love you guys. And because we needed to discuss Pete Hegseth, beer bongs and Goldschlager luges, Elon’s weird kids, the future of DOGE, the future of Ukraine, Isla...

Feb 16, 202558 min

#489 - Neocon Don and Sandals Gaza

* The hockey plumber * A very brief return to tariffs * Let’s fight the drug war again! Yay! * Neocon Don wants to make Gaza great…for the first time * This is a very, very bad idea * Like…an extraordinarily bad idea * The 80-20 issue * Lia’s standup special * 60 Minutes in the docket * “Restoring freedom of speech” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Feb 06, 20251 hr 52 min

Members Only #247 - The Dumbest War Begins

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com We asked ChatGPT to give us some titles for this episode. Turned out to be a pretty decent précis of the discussion…and the last one is particularly good: "Tariffs, TikTok, and Toe-Kneading Terror" "Mary Poppins: Feminist Propaganda & Economic Illiteracy" "Avocados vs. American Fish: The Dumbest Trade Debate Ever" "Trump’s Tariff Tantrum: The Art of the Du…...

Feb 03, 202521 min

#488 - By Order of the MAGAstate

* First class mud hobbit * At the 80th in Poland * An executive flurry * The interrogation of RFK * In defense of pharma * The interrogation of Kash Patel * Give us Greenland, Part 32 * Overreach on DEI? * Frozen budgets * Getting the win * Is *this* the art of the deal? * Why were the JFK/RFK/MLK files held back? * And what will we find therein… * The most annoying Kennedy * Trusting Deepseek * Has the press learned its lesson? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other ...

Feb 01, 20251 hr 44 min

Members Only #246 - Premature Denazification

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Moynihan in Poland (Katya stole his mic) * Ronalda Reagana * Know a Nowa Huta * Onward to Auschwitz * Maybe don’t speak to the far-right German party? * Axis of anti-Woke * Unimpressed with nation-states * The Best Black History Month Report, EVER * Lia vs. MLK Part II * Rufo’s Sore "Winning" * Activism vs. Truth * Our “Blind spot” * Yellow/Blue Dress Explained * YOUR Outrage (Not Mine) * Ove…...

Jan 27, 20251 hr 8 min

#487 - A Symphony of Horror

* The Zombies reunion * Edibles and expressionism * A ghost on the knee * Who needs a desk when democracy’s dead? * Outage equality * Don’t ever integrate? * Segregation redux * Why Steve hates Elon * Those terrible oligarchs * Who needs the Constitution when we have executive orders? * The Jan 6 pardons: a disagreement * The art of the overcharge * Ross Ulbricht goes home This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.we...

Jan 23, 20251 hr 56 min

Members Only #245 - Everything Old Is New Again

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * The sycophants are back! * Are we suckers for paying? * Gauleiter Musk * Day one executive orders * The newest, greatest Amazon Prime perk * New national bird: Jim Eagle * Pardon me? * Guess what? Leonard Peltier is not a good guy! * That Outside magazine article * Inauguration babes * Kmele’s letter to his daughter’s school * Not our oligarchs! * Ari Shaffir vs. Howie Mandel * Governme…...

Jan 21, 202519 min

#486 - A Deal with the Devil, MelaniaCoin, Danny has AIDS

* Melanie: the eternal First Lady * A bad deal but…the only deal * The same situation, over and over * Joey B’s final babble * Ike, Elon, and the unacceptable “oligarchy” * The Ralph Lifshitz Award for Cultural Betrayal * F**k You, Surgeon General, says Matt Welch * The shittiest NYT story in recent memory * A shitty celebration of murder on Jimmy Kimmel * Pete H on the Hill * Women in combat is not a weird debate * RIP David Lynch * RIP Bob Uecker This is a public episode. If you'd like to disc...

Jan 17, 20251 hr 51 min

Members Only #244 - Second Sunday Coming Down

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com A rebroadcast of our most recent “Second Sunday” episode, during which paying subscribers can hop on a Zoom call, ask us questions, berate us, tell meandering stories, and be generically clever/hilarious/insane. On this episode, we talk to a number of people in Los Angeles about the ongoing conflagrations and the city government’s predictably feckless r…...

Jan 16, 202522 min

#485 - The Fire This Time

* Black Bill Kristol * Nobody beats the Rizz * Stealing Greenland * Yet another horrible big city mayor * When you love Castro, you are obviously an incompetent moron * Forget it, Matt. It's Chinatown * More on the 🔥 * Is big city governance killing progressivism? * Your lying eyes * Elon’s Nazis * Mark Zuckerberg and “winning” on free speech * The end of corporate walkout culture * January 6 pardons and pizzagate crazy person gunned down * Hobo stabs thug This is a public episode. If you'd lik...

Jan 10, 20251 hr 54 min

Members Only #243 - Pox Blankets, Political Cartoons, Poor Parenting

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Lia the diva * The era of athlete actors * Moynihan correction: It was Bubba Smith in Police Academy. Dick Butkus was in Police *Story*. * I want to make fun of my boss * Awful political cartoons * More on progressive schools * Are you a hypocrite, MM? * Reflections on Jimmy Carter, DPRK fan * The neo-neocons? * The vibe shift and the sense of the heroic (says MAGA Matt) * Matt…...

Jan 06, 202517 min

#484 - Pumps, Converts, Fatwas, and Ex-Presidents

* No more Bobby * No resolutions * Pump it up: The bionic podcast host * New Year’s terror in NOLA and Vegas * The military connection that doesn’t matter * The advent of “car ramming” * In celebration of Chaim Sapir * Forgotten terror * When Charlie destroyed our faith in the media class * Jimmy Carter’s awful op-ed * Erasing Islamism * Revisiting Rushdie * Getting scammed by the “truth” people * Broken kneecap policing This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscrib...

Jan 02, 20251 hr 28 min

Members Only #242 - The Emo Episode

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * An episode that takes a break from politics? * Stars, tardigrades, and microscopy * Race in space * Matt and Moyn watch “A Complete Unknown,” come to different conclusions * Phantom and 40mg * AI’s take on this section: “Listener emails prompt discussions on art, personal struggles, and growth during the holidays.” * Books for young men searching…. * Can The Man Who Shot L…...

Dec 30, 202417 min

#483 - The Christmas Cromnibus and a Slow Boat to Mauritius

* Pivot to Zoom * Rereading books * The ex-presidents * “It’s 1,547 pages of unreadable garbage. Every year, it’s like Christmas." * Chip the RHINOOOOOO * Elon’s Political Fantasy Camp! * Is Trump losing his power to threaten? * The end of AOC? * Before his own inevitable perp walk, Mayor Adams does a hot assassin perp walk * Insurance companies redux * Kmele is a bad drinker * Don Jr. trades up * Barron is everyone’s boyfriend This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other s...

Dec 20, 20241 hr 42 min

Members Only #241 - Tinder Trotskyists, Siouxsie and the Nazis, When We Were Kings

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * If you think it’s expensive now, wait until it’s free * Unpersuasive persuasion * How race is like probiotic soda * Ends and means * "If one killing is justified, where do you draw the line—10,000? A million?" * Siouxsie and the Nazis / Bill Grundy * Tinder Trotskyists * More “memoirs about trauma and identity” * ‘Oh, they’re taxing us, let’s go murder people.’ * 23andme and Zor…...

Dec 16, 202424 min

#482 - Centrism Kills (w/ Josh Barro)

* The Daniel Penny verdict * REinstitutionalization * When should the state involuntarily commit? * Remember, she was a very bad candidate * The great exhale * Joe and the Squad * A fake Portuguese guest * Barro blowback? * On the Substack revolution * The repulsive Luigi Mangioni * The failed Kaczynski * And much more! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Dec 12, 20241 hr 50 min

Members Only #240 - One Hitter: Taylor Supports the Death Penalty

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com One topic in the news . One quick podcast on that single topic (rather than just texting each other about how certain media figures are vulgar, stupid, and morally depraved). Welcome to the Fifth Column One Hitter! In our inaugural episode, Matt and Moyn get pissed off about the hideous reaction from certain very online cretins to the awful murder of Uni…...

Dec 06, 20246 min

#481 - From the Mexico of Heaven

* Little Moynihan’s pediatric cancer fundraiser can be found here! This might be the opposite of an incentive, but a random donor will be chosen for a personalized roast video from Moyn and his daughter… * The idiot winds (That “One More Cup of Coffee” live performance MM referenced) * Pete Hegseth replaced by Ronny D? * Ok, you asked for it…with new information, the lads return to the Hunter pardon * "Is he really doing something injurious?" * Preemptive pardons? * The uselessness of cable “new...

Dec 05, 20241 hr 40 min

Members Only #239 - I Never Promised You a Rose Garden

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * The boys had just heard the Biden pardon news. So much they missed about the specifics…and this brilliant video had not yet been created. * Citizens of the Fifdom debate RFK * The professional Youtube debaters * Teens and true crime * JonBenet * How to interview your dad * A listener asks: Is Dan Crenshaw the worst? * Park Slope politics and the crotch Magen David * The M…...

Dec 02, 202418 min

Members Only #238 - 🎁 UNLOCKED 🎁 - The RFK Problem (w/ Alan Levinovitz)

As a Thanksgiving treat, an unlocked Members Only episode featuring Moynihan in conversation with Dr. Alan Levinovitz, author of Natural: How Faith in Nature's Goodness Leads to Harmful Fads, Unjust Laws, and Flawed Science and The Gluten Lie: And Other Myths About What You Eat , about RFK’s view of public health, why you are fat, the myth of “natural,” and why so many people have stopped trusting “the science.” We won’t be unlocking any subscriber-only episodes for awhile so…subscribe! This is ...

Nov 27, 202456 min

Members Only #237 - Roofies, Commies, and Sissies

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Pete’s past * Friends with a murderer * Roofie vending machines * The worst cabinet pick? * Trans snakes that play golf * Damn dirty commies * The three things reds do well * A store called Store * That truck is still with Kamala * Little Baron’s soooooooootcase * One black woman’s quest * Biased bookstores * Axios: Trump’s liberal cabinet * ChatGPT is wrong about everything * Back to Cormac...

Nov 25, 202425 min

#480 - The Media Mess / Gaetz Pulls Out (w/ Ben Smith)

An hour with Semafor founder Ben Smith discussing the sorry state of the media, followed by a Smith-free hour with the lads discussing, among other things, two very different people who nevertheless shared a very deep love of young people. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Nov 23, 20241 hr 53 min

Members Only #236 - Here Comes the Nanny State!

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Kmele: Forever the HNIC * The Filet-O-Fish is Alaska pollock * A Swedish horror show * RFK at HHS * He forgot to mention this stuff… * Elon’s principles? * On Matt Gaetz and John Bolton * You know, we had a pretty good record on Covid… * Moulton v. a Salem Witch * A listener’s Irish-Catholic family is falling apart * That fake Netflix fight...

Nov 19, 202417 min

Members Only #235 - To Overthrow the World: A Conversation on Communism with Sean McMeekin

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Michael Moynihan sits down with Bard College professor Sean McMeekin to discuss his new book To Overthrow the World: The Rise and Fall and Rise of Communism , a Fifth-approved history of the global communist movement, from the ur-commie instincts of Plato to the sinister stupidities of Plekhanov. They also contemplate why so many smart people fall for ba…...

Nov 17, 202420 min

#479 - The Case Against Tariffs (w/ Scott Lincicome)

We’ve promised this one for a very long time. But now that Trump is returning to the White House—the mercantilist maniac who recently said “the most beautiful word in the dictionary is ‘tariff’”—we finally followed through. By popular demand, we called upon Scott Lincicome, senior visiting lecturer at Duke University Law School and vice president of general economics and Cato's Herbert A. Stiefel Center for Trade Policy Studies, to answer all of your questions on protectionism, tariffs, and trad...

Nov 13, 20241 hr 59 min

Members Only #234 - Come On and Zoom! (Wagnerian Opera Edition)

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Our first post-election Second Sunday Zoom call! If you missed it, shame on you for choosing to spend time with your family or choosing not to pony up. But it’s all here. All three hours of it. Yes, it’s the “Die Meistersinger von Nürnberg” of election analysis. But to be clear, we also discuss Emperor Hirohito, Kentucky politics, Australians, New York …...

Nov 12, 202418 min

Members Only #233 - A Grave New World

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Welch and Moynihan are back in the studio, three days after the end of democracy, counting the days before they get the midnight knock from Trump’s NKVD. So what does one do? Engage in some anticipatory obedience , obviously. But can anything save them? Subscribe to find out! Note: Matt came across this amazing video only after recording this episode. So …...

Nov 08, 202433 min

#478 - The Dream of a Six-Foot-Four, Tobacco-Chewing White Savior

The Fifth did a bit of processing today with our Trump-supporting friend at her Connecticut studio. Hungover, exhausted, bedraggled, the lads then returned to the scene of last night’s Fifth-Free Press-Reason party and recorded this episode. They enjoyed it. And they suspect you will too. . This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Nov 07, 20241 hr 27 min

Members Only #232 - Last Episode Before the Camps :(

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Kmele on his appearance in Thomas Chatterton Williams new Atlantic piece * The end of America! * If you don’t vote like me, you should be ashamed of yourself! * We’re not “heterodox” * On never talking policy * Authoritarianism in America * Boyz in the Hood redux * A whole lot of final election thoughts * A listener from Utah teaches us about TBCK syndrome * Kemi Badenoch on uneq…...

Nov 04, 202426 min
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