Ep124 - False Acccusations (Johnny Depp Amber Heard Trial)

Intro [0:00]
Hello my dears! My name is Johanna, and I welcome you to the Johanna Draconis - The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD podcast.
In this episode we will talk about false accusations, as the Johnny Depp Amber Heard Trial is dominating the minds of people these days and there are a lot of emotions and reactions that have me quite worried. It is apparently quite a loaded topic.
So I decided to insert this episode, while emotions seem to climb ever higher and the constant coverage triggering quite a lot of people and it being a taboo that needs to be addressed. It is hurting a lot of people and causes enormous damage.
So let us talk about it.

Prelude [0:52]
I will preface it, that I will not focus on the court proceedings, as court systems, especially the US one, would most likely just end up being a 30 episode rant and get us nowhere. But in case you want to hear my impression of the situation:
In my opinion all you need to hear is the message he gives his fans, where he says he is scared to death, frightened and don’t know what to do (link in the description). And especially the hopeless and I-knew-it-wouldn’t-work smile and laughter afterwards is all too familiar.
I wish I had seen it from the start - it is a typical outreach moment, but as usually more an outburst and is often not recognized by those around living in a different reality. The voice is usually for me the strongest give away - ignore the smiling and also focus on the eyes.
I wish I could have helped. Just for the record, that men can’t be victims is utter nonsense and is not up for debate. She doesn’t make a believable case for me. Especially the strong mouth down face she did at the start reminded me more of a tragic clown make up.
To me it felt more like a mockery of abuse victims. We will see what the court decides. Back to the topic: The problem with false accusations is that they cut badly in two ways. They hurt the real victims and - of course - those wrongly accused.
Not being believed is a very widespread and very painful experience for abuse victims. Be it about the experience itself or the problems it created afterwards. There are no limits in how low people will steep to dismiss a person and therefor not having to deal with it.
We will first talk about the false accusations affecting real victims and then about being falsely accused.

False Accusation affecting real victim [3:13]
I start with the false accusation affecting real victims, as it is the group that is hurting most at the moment. Victims of abuse have to fight so hard to get their suffering acknowledge - let alone something be done about it.
And then a woman tears down years of progress for her own selfish reasons. It is betrayal. And the worst part is that she doesn’t even seem to care. We all know the statistics and we all know what effect it will have on past, present and future cases.
The amount of suffering it caused is immeasurable and you will likely have to deal with people questioning you again in regards to the trial. This is an enormous defeat for the real victims and the acknowledgment of their suffering and their attempts to get justice.
There is no positive spin to it. So all we can do is bear the assault. If you are affected by it, I can just recommend the standards. Stay away from the news and social media and the like. Try to reduce your stress load and postpone what isn’t necessary.
And take very good care of yourself. These are tough times and it is okay to not perform as you might think you should. Spoil yourself and keep yourself good company - sometimes by just being with yourself.

Being falsely accused [4:50]
For those who have been falsely accused the trial is in a bit more positive light - at least the latest events as far as I picked up on them. But we have the same problem ironically again - the feeling of not being believed. Saying the truth and being called a liar.
Happened to me too - naturally. I think Eminem was putting it nicely “I am whatever you say I am - if I wasn’t, why would you say I am?”. He had of course a lot of experience with being falsely accused - including to cause people to harm others.
If people accuse you of things than aren’t true, then it usually has little to do with yourself. I was accused of having affairs, pregnancies and the like in amounts I can’t even count. Not that I am interested in knowing it - as it has nothing to do with me.
It is about a version people made up in their heads about me. A straw men about myself - and they attach whatever they want to it - as it is THEIR creation. It really helps if you understand that people don’t talk about you - but this other version of you.
So to go back to the what Eminem said, if what they said is completely removed from what I am - then they couldn’t possibly mean me. They must be talking about someone else. Creating this separated, created by public opinion version really helped me a lot.
Though I want to add, that one should listen to criticism and check if they are valid before dismissing it. Depending of course on the source and circumstance. But besides that: No one knows you the way you do.

Outro [6:49]
That was it for todays episode, I hope you found it helpful. Hope you are safe and well. And as always, if you have any questions or feedback and the like, please let me know at contactme@johannadraconis.com. 
More information and transcript you can find as usually under johannadraconis.com/podcast/ and links are in the description. 
I hope to see you next time. Watch yourselves and have a wonderful time.