Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of the success trend Finale. I am Jack, that is Miles. Thanks for having these are some things that are trending. So the Succession finale is this weekend. Do you have predictions?
Do you have hopes?
No? I don't. I'm not.
I don't watch Succession to be like this is what's gonna happen.
I'm just more like, what oh fuck?
Oh oh man, I've got I know a lot of.
People have some I've read so I've seen so many headlines are like a theory as to why Mattson's go Joe deal. I'm like, what the hell fuck?
Yeah, it's not sort of, It's not like a mystery box show where you well, how are they going to explain the polar Bears from season two?
It's not the leftover.
It's like Damon Lindeloff's succession or something like that. But yeah, I don't know. I hope.
I guess at the very least because of the last episode, where you know, the real world began to intersect with the roy family. I hope that maybe it's like I don't know, becomes like a morality tale and they're they lose it all something fucked up happens, because like this is what happens when you fuck with normal people all the time in pursuit of your media empire.
I don't know, there's something like that. I'd be like, yo, that's wild. Yeah.
I feel like a lot of the takes like people were like anybody who is sad that bad things are happening to these people is like a capitalist piece of shit. Like I don't By the way, there are no takes that are that strong, but like, you know, like I don't know, I don't I feel like I don't have to hate, Like I can feel sorry for these characters at the same time as like recognizing that they are part of a system that is completely corrupt and like that this is so.
By that logic, you'd be like the Sopranos is disgusting, they're murderers.
Yeah exactly.
I'm just like, no, that's what drama is like, shows us bad people doing bad things, but like you get to see their humanity and like fall for them a little bit.
Yeah.
That's the part that fucks with you is when you begin to side with the capitalist ship bag who's a fascist wannabe who's trying to bring about the demise of American democracy.
Yeah, and you.
Can also feel bad that he's a shook one who has no ability to deal with his father's law.
What a what a penultimate episode for Roman?
Yeah, but uh.
Yeah, you know, I've got a lot of I've got a lot of wagers on the final episode. I think it's going to be coming through. Got some prop that Miles who won this one, I'm gonna say covers that winners right hand. Yeah, because I feel like this is as big of a final episode as we've seen since Game of Thrones probably right. Oh yeah, I hated it, which was Yeah, that was a disaster. I don't know, Breaking Bad was one that felt didn't it was huge and people felt like it stuck the landing.
I wasn't as big a fan.
I wasn't like, oh that's I don't know how many I'm like, oh, that was the best one, even like Sopranos, Like I was like, I think I think it's good in that it elegantly wrapped up the show and left people thinking. And you can talk a lot about it, but I don't know, like I'm one of those people who like won't watch, Like I've never seen the Seinfeld finale.
Because I just refused to watch it because.
I heard it was bad and be I don't want to like be like and that's the end of it, because it just feels like a show that can exist.
Those are your friends and you don't want them to go away because you will also watch it exactly because methods.
Right, because Kramer is my favorite guy ever on and off camera.
Yeah, I think Sopranos and Seinfeld are like one side of it where it's like kind of a fuck you final episode where it's like, yeah, we're actually giving you not what you want, but they do it artfully. I think Sopranos is one of the best to ever do it, if not the US six feet Under kind of just gave you all like they were just like, all right, we're gonna show you how everyone dies, right, Just it
was like fan service in the best way possible. I feel like if I had to guess which direction Succession would go, it would probably be more in the Sopranos Seinfeld direction.
I think maybe I don't know. Again, in my mind, i'd be like, yo, I hope they get.
Got just taken out.
Yeah, I would be like, yo, yes, if it's by.
And they just like, oh, that this ship was going to happen.
That was Yeah.
I mean the last time we saw Jeremy Strong's character, he was swimming in the ocean. I'm just saying it's not true. Out of the realm of this whole ship.
Yeah, yeah, it's wild.
And then whole ship wait what the whole entire his whole ship.
Bro just wow, gets his ass man, he's floating with his head back.
He doesn't see this ship coming. Yeah, this whole shit.
Gets too busy thinking about Gojo. There's also news being made by Las Culturistas Big Money Players Network, super produced by our same super producer on AJS and and superducer
Becca Ramas. So Bowen was talking about how when he was on the Aquafina show, Yeah, that they were shooting in the same studio in Queen's I think as Succession and Jeremy Strong came into their set and asks yeah yeah, and asked where the bathroom was and was told and then uh so, I'll just read directly from Bowen's quote, So Jeremy leaves ten minutes past and a production assistant from Succession comes into the office and goes, hi, was Jeremy just in here and they were like, yeah, he was.
He went to the bathroom. And then this PA.
Goes, did he ask where it was? Did he come here to ask you where the bathroom was? And they were like yeah, why and the PA says, ah, he has a scene today where he has to ask someone where the bathroom is. And then Bowen Yang was saying, I think that is method to such a ridiculous degree that he must be in on the joke.
Is his theory right.
Like to the point if there's like an exasperated pa like he was like he's been doing, it's because it sounds like the same thing of like, was my dad doing this stupid bit where he's asking where the bathroom is?
Right because he knows where it is? Oh my god.
And then it's fun for that person because when they go finally find Jeremy go you had to ask where the bathrooms like I didn't know where it was.
Yeah, so let's I don't know.
I can't I can't do it, but I respect the hell out of anybody who can do a Kendle Roy impression. Somebody just did one on Twitter and I love it so much where there's so specific, so annoying.
Yeah, because it's also like a it's like a total lack of soul and charisma too, but with just a little bit.
It's a really hard needle to thread.
Yeah, just devoured, no soul, no any no confidence, but like somehow propped up by circumstance, but then has like also just has this entire bible of like tech bro speak right right.
Right, He's just drawing on it all times. It's so wild.
Anyways, enjoy your succession finale succession watchers. We're gonna take a break and we'll come back and talk about news that doesn't have to do with my friends from Wastar Roco.
But maybe sharks.
Maybe sharks, not baby sharks. Parents don't worry, and we're back. And I know I told you it wasn't gonna be baby sharks. But when I talked you think the sea, you think lighthouses and seamless transition.
Uh.
Ten lighthouses that for generations have stood along American shorelines protecting mariners from peril, are being sold at auction by the federal government.
Ah, because we don't need them no more. Huh.
I guess we don't need them no more.
I feel like right, Yeah, that's what they're saying. We don't need them no more because gps.
Yeah, we don't need them no more.
Yeah, we don't need the but the lights where the cliffs are and ship where're gonna hit You're gonna run run aground.
I don't know. I mean, isn't there something romantic about a lighthouse? Oh?
Love it? I love it so much.
I've said that as someone who's never even been in a fucking.
Lighthouse, never even on miles. Aren't the idea of them? It's a lighting so dramatic.
I think the first lighthouse ever saw it was like on a bag of cape Cod chips or something.
And that's all you need to see, you get it. That's what's good about lighthouses. They are not subtle. They are just standing there being dramatic narcissists.
Giant sea dicks. Look at my land dick.
Sea dominating the land ee seafaring folk.
So you can how much do we know? How much like a lighthouse is going for? Is it even worth it? Or is it just like for someone who's so obsessed with lighthouses, like that's what it's going to appeal to.
About one and fifty lighthouses have been transferred, eighty or so given away, and another seventy auctioned, raising more than ten million dollars. So that's not that much.
I guess given away.
Okay, so only seventy years old and all of that is totaling up to ten million dollars. I'm no math wizard, but I think that's less than a million dollars each. So they seem like you can get them pretty cheap, since, yeah, get them, we're given away for free. I did have an opportunity my to talk to some people who have been to lighthouses in person, and they say they're boring. The plotting is predictable, the light just goes around in a circle the whole time.
And they're smaller than you expect them to be.
Oh okay, like yeah, exactly, predictable and smart.
Without the magnetic charisma that from that, they just stand there and don't do shit.
Anyways.
Shout out to the lighthouse keepers out there. You know, some Trump workers at mar A Lago moved boxes of papers the day before the FBI visit, according to a report.
But I feel like I read six months ago, right.
Everything sounds like the same thing over and over again.
It's like, yeah, I think that went from like being a rumor to now, isn't that person like cooperating?
Yeah, isn't that why this has happened?
So yeah, okay, so maybe we'll get them this time, folks.
Yeah, who knows, Maybe this is it.
Yeah, like on John Oliver, you hit the button, You're like, we've got him, bring out the band yet?
Nah? Yep, maybe not.
This turns out not turns out he will be our next president, even if he's in jail.
Yeah, somehow, or Ron de Santis can or H'm sorry, Rob DeSantis can pardon him.
Yeah, as he said, that's.
Been his new things, like you know, and i'd i'd pardon the president. You're like, oh my god, dude, you you're already losing. Yeah, by saying shit like this.
He is.
Just a professional kiss ass. Like that's all he does is kiss people's ass and like it. Now he's moved on to Elon Musk from Trump. But like his first deal with Trump, where like when he first became a politician was just being a Trump guy, like more than anybody else, dressed his baby up in like Maga outfits in the campaign ads, and he's like and.
Donald Trump saved our country, babe. That's my favorite part, Like.
Come on, yeah, when we get on to Rob, yeah, which I'm not above taking a nickname the Trump gives someone and using it if I don't like that person. So Rob DeSantis has signed a bill that would basically protect Elon Musk from lawsuits if his rockets blow up and kill workers.
Yep, that easy, folks. That's all it takes was to completely just.
Jet fuck your campaign announcement on Twitter. Uh, and then you can get a bill that I don't know, this is really wild. It's it's more than that, it says. The bill expands the definition of spaceflight entity to include any entity authorized to conduct spaceflight activities beyond one solely associated with the United States Federal Aviation Administration, opening up which entities in the broader industry will qualify for the expanded immunity.
And the bill also.
Cuts out language ascribing liability to spaceflight entities for damage caused from quote inherent risks. Instead, the bill brought into scope of liability immunity to include all space flight activities to go ahead, get reckless.
Let this shit fucking do.
I don't know that, you know, we see stuff like this all the time, but it feels very convenient for Elon Musk and I got I hope fucking nothing happens with a bill like this where like it's necessary, but holy shit, that's not that's not the kind of that's like a regulation you want to see.
That was the question that popped in my mind the last time he had a rocket launch and the whole shit blew up and there were giant chunks of rocket that were like falling on like what. One just like completely obliterated a mini van that was like parked nearby, And I was like, well, they're going to be killing people, Like they're lucky this didn't kill anybody, even though it was an unmanned launch. They're lucky that the giant chunks of shrapnel falling out of the sky didn't kill anyone.
So like, how is that going to be continue to be profitable?
And I think all that did was basically give Elin the imaginations like how do I get Ron DeSantis to make it legal for chunks of rocket to hit people?
Right?
Also, people from his campaign, or at least like his supporters, seemed to be admitting that the launch was an l No Radio host Eric ericson email supporters of Desanta's about the mishap and said it was bold.
It turned out to be a mistake.
Oh but worry not.
So so we'll see.
John Wick five is in early development for the Gunfu Crew. Yeah.
I've only seen the first one and probably alight.
I've heard the third one is really good.
I watched the fourth one. It had some cool shit, but I get.
The appeal of just watching people like wile out like in an ultra violent way. I just I think it's one of those things where like when there's five of a movie, I start going, nah, nah, you're going too fast for me, and I'm not going to hitch up.
Yeah, I get it. You were you were salty that someone sucked up your dog. I always been with you on that. And then there was like, now there's going to be a fifth one.
Mm hm, this is right, which is especially signirising to people who saw John Wick.
For I will just say that, oh really yeah, not.
Just that's enough.
Yeah interesting yeah uh. And finally let's wrap it all back around. Yep, they're saying the Great White shark population is booming. Great news, because it was that you were in danger. They were being hunted after an irresponsible movie that we never advocate for on this show called Jaws came out and suddenly everyone was like, they're killing machines. We've got to protect our beaches, and you know, it
was very bad. The writer of the novel Jaws like ended up spending the last decades of his life like lobbying and working on behalf of to keep ye keep sharks from being killed. It seems like, you know, they have been able to get their population levels back up to normal or like something approaching normal, not like the horrifying low levels they were at before. And the mainstream media also give you two guesses as to how they're approaching this story.
They're just like me. They're saying, wat's out.
They're gonna bite your whole shit, bite your whole shit, America.
Yeah, I already know, because I've already seen one, Like I've already seen an article that's like, you're not gonna get your whole shit bit by a shark.
Relax. The chances are very low of you getting your whole shit bit.
Yeah, I think this is This is also good news for mainstream media publications because they can just recycle the content that everyone forgets from the summer of two thousand and one, because the Time magazine issue that was on the new stand when nine to eleven happened was a Summer of the Shark picture of a great white shark coming at you on the on the cover. So maybe they'll maybe they'll just be able to kind of recycle some of that.
It's wild though, how like there was a shark question mark.
That's what they'll put out.
There's like one story of this, uh like Connecticut woman who had her who got her her not her whole ship, but her lower ship bit by a shark, And it's like every news site just has to get on it because it says bites off leg.
Yeah, I mean I am regrettably going to be reading that article. But uh and you're so jealous jealous ah lucky ah bite my whole ship.
I want to get my whole ship bit.
Anyways. Uh, those are some of the things that are trending on this Friday, May Yeah, sick. We are off on Monday for a Memorial Day. We are back on Tuesday with a whole last episode.
Of Remembering All the Orcas.
Remembering All the Fine orch a reminder that we are changing our publication schedule, not next week but the following week, where we will have one Friday episode, one Monday episode. We'll be doing new things with format. We will be you know, taking submissions, talking with listeners, all a bunch
of fun ship. So yeah, all right back Tuesday, whole last episode until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourself, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to y'all on Tuesday.
Bye bye