Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Mark Wwain moultrends.
Yeah, that's the.
Name of a person who's in the news, and Mark Wain.
Is all one word.
Hell yeah, Mark Wain.
The name rules. Uh So we'll talk about that. That's called a tease.
After the break, we'll talk about what Mark Wwayne is trending. But first we have to let you know that you're in for a racing glass of cool waters. Fox News has named Jesse Waters to succeed Tucker Carlson as anchor of the eight PM hour, The lucrative highly sought after a PM Hour. Jesse Waters has been on my radar since he was like an intern for Bill O'Reilly and like he would do more offensive yeah, like against Asian people.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's when I first found out about him. If you if you haven't seen it, I haven't seen it in like fifteen years.
Is that when you knew that Jesse Waters culture was for you?
I know, that's when I knew. That's when I became a fan. Got the poster.
Yeah, that was my first thing.
That was like that really terrible man on the street bit in Chinatown was like, this is just unhinged.
Racism, okay, sure, Yeah.
His new persona seems to be that he tries to be like a character in Madmen, like that is conservative for Madmen. Like he dresses in like suits from that era, and he just like says wild misogynistic shit that somebody would have said in the nineteen fifties.
Yeah, he killed a guy trying to hide and hit.
It took over his personality.
Is that how mad?
Isn't that I've only seen like the first three episodes. I was like, I cannot deal.
With it anymore.
But isn't that?
Is that the thing?
Right centrally like drapes, He doesn't.
I don't think he kills anybody like he does the war or something in the war, and like he's just kind of a dufiss and his like super confident leader higher up in the military just like dies right in front of him, and he just takes his dog tags and is like I'm that now.
Which is the exact fucking conceit of Season nine, episode two of The Simpsons, The Principal and the Popper. Yeah yeah, when he comes back and like his name's really arm In tams Ay.
Yeah, Yeah, they're like the whole thing happened during the Korean War, so and that one was Vietnam War, so they based that on this.
That's so funny that I think of that. I'm like, that's the Simpsons, like, don't but.
That's probably actually probably something from literature before that. But I'm ignorant, So I will take the Simpsons as.
These or Simpsons for eight hundred Alan's Whom?
How fucking like incendiary?
Is that first episode gonna because most people were saying, like, if you thought Tucker was bad, the thing that's gonna come after Tucker is not gonna be fucking like, you know, more measured.
Yeah, seems like everything just keeps getting worse. It's like the Putin thing. They're like, Oh, you thought put you were gonna fucking be crying for your mommy Putin. When this next guy comes along, you're gonna say, wow, Wow, where is Daddy Putin?
And you can and he's gone.
You're daddy or diddy, we don't know. But everyone's like he's weak. Everyone thinks Putin's weak. Anyways, this is not a story about that. This is a story about Jesse Waters and how he is new King of Yeah, this is just gonna be some some ship we have to deal with now. It seems like a real bad guy and he's gonna be probably twice as famous as he is right now in two months.
Mm hmm.
Has Tucker come out with a new episode of his uh wood Shop?
I should think know, because Fox was like, you can't be doing these sad ass little Wooden vlogs, my man.
Yeah, interesting, So I'm pretty sure. I mean, I feel like we would have heard because the Internet would have started talking about it.
But yeah, I don't think.
I think we only got that one grand opening, grand closing, grand opening, grand closing.
Well, Miles, speaking of grand closing, we can finally close the book on Jeffrey Epstein's suicide.
Murder Apartment, No, the Justice Department. In a way.
He was murdered by negligence of two guards federal jail guards.
But he said two guards.
I was like, what like a two like a shooting guard or appoint two guards.
Yeah, it was de shooting guard.
And you consider Michael Jordan, right, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, definitely Dwayne Wade, Michael Jordan.
It was Steph Curry and Michael Jordan. Okay, two guards, two guards.
So the ap says Jeffrey Epstein was left loan in his jail cell with a surplus of bed linens the night he killed himself. Nearly all the surveillance cameras on his unit didn't record h Right. I remember that one worker was on duty for twenty four hours straight, and despite his high profile and a suicide attempt two weeks earlier, he wasn't checked on.
Regularly as required. They needed a fall guy or fall.
Guys, and they seem to just be like these two lazy bums who were working for twenty four hours straight and couldn't even stay awake.
It's their fault.
So yeah, I don't still not a very satisfying ending.
I'd say, no, no, it's not.
I mean, this just means that they've decided to stop investigating it and give us the fall guy that they are, Like, we've officially come up with an official fall guy. Just these wanting to make an announcement. These two shits. Look at them, aren't they dumb? They look don't they look like they're about to drift off to sleep?
These two, these two guys, I just like that, say, a surplus of bed She's like, what does that look like?
Like?
Were they also like encouraging him to like be like, hey, I don't know, this looks like you might be able to do something with all this.
Anyway, we're gonna take a nap for twelve hours. Yeah you know maybe, Yeah, I don't know. So, uh.
They get them up like a mummy, and that was what did it. He's okay, yeah, I remember.
I remember my mom saying to not do that when I was a kid, like, like as a little kid like with like an older cousin being like, let me wrap you in this sheet like a mummy, and she's like, you're gonna fucking suffer.
Can't remember.
That was a good thing. That scared me off of doing mummy wraps to myself, like you could, you could breathe, you could stop breathing.
But that was.
The coolest man.
No, you know why that ship just felt so oh you know what. We did it in eighth grade. I remember as like a school spirit thing. There's like a contest of like who could wrap their teacher as a mummy and toilet paper the quickest, And I just felt this is such a waste.
We could be wiping our butts with this.
And not just from an ecological perspective, but just yeah, like your your dumps are so messy that it just breaks your heart to see. Oh yeah, I mean all the toilet paper go unused at times.
I already know toilet paper is just is futile and at a certain point and I just I just get into the shower.
Yeah all right. And then the Supreme Court getting a couple right.
Yeah, I think they because this is on the heels of the Alito thing too. It's like, I guess maybe the only way we can keep the Supreme Court from like completely falling out of line is keep exposing a little controversy every time, so they need to make good
in a decision. But yeah, it's all part of this like legal theory called like the independent state legislature, and essentially their decision was saying like that's bullshit, basically saying that the state legislatures can make decisions about elections from congressional elections all the way on down like an opponent's or like the people who are you know, saying like no, no, no, no, like this is actually a very valid legal theory that was basically saying that, like we can sidestep.
The courts to do whatever we want in elections.
So the Supreme Court did a solid by basically saying like, yeah, okay, we'll prevent some jerry manders.
So preventing jerry mandering, does it also have an effect on like Trump or a Republican's ability to like steal an election or that that is separate when you talk about like states being able to do what they want on a presidential election or on an election. That's what jumped into my head, and I think I might have been.
Wrong, I'd imagine. I mean it just it gives untold power right to whoever. If if the courts can't decide that, then that means the state legislature is higher.
Than the court well in that respect.
And that's when they're like, no, the place where you can like again post a bunch of four Chan memes and then suddenly you have the power to do this because you won your like no, no, no.
Got it.
So, as a producer Brian points out, there is the overall jerry mandering that is the electoral college that we've been We've been I'm rolling with for choice.
Yeah about that.
All right, let's take a quick break and we'll come back and talk about somebody named Mark Wain.
Mark Wain.
And we're back, and a GOP senator by the name of Mark Wayn Mark Wayne, those two names but fused together, so Wayne isn't even capitalized. Mullin has challenged a Teamster president Sean O'Brien to an MMA fight on Monday, after O'Brien called him a greedy CEO and a clown and a fraud in a tweet last week and also showed off that he's small.
Yeah, the real incendiary part of the tweets that I know, really got to Mark Wayne. Do you think racist white people read his name and think he's black?
Maybe like it? Yeah, it feels like it could go in one.
What's your name, Mark Wain?
You Mark Wain?
Okay, Mark Wain and then like and then he's probably here's like, I know what it's like to be profiled because of my name. Anyway, So this guy, Sean O'Brien, he tweeted a picture of Mark Wayne Mullen at a debate like I think it was last year, and it was a picture that was taken from behind the lecterns with the podiums, and we find out in this picture Mark Wayne was standing on like a little apple box to appear taller during the debate, and he was basically saying, like, yo,
look at this small man. Energy is what the teamsters, you know, president is saying, And this is how this guy responded.
He said, an attention.
Seeking union teamster boss is trying to be punchy after our senate hearing. Okay, I accept your challenge, MMA fight for charity of our choice. And then he offered a time in a place of September thirtieth in Tulsa, which is where Mullin's from, and he gave O'Brien three.
Days to accept.
Wow, I mean it was just going towards duels.
Wait, so on the on the apple box, I'm just trying to picture how this works. Was he lowered from the because otherwise, like you walk in and then you climb up on an apple box, it's gonna be pretty obvious to people and they're gonna notice that you just got five to six inches taller, like as you reached the podium. So was he lowered down onto the podium stern fartman style? Was he just standing at the podium as people filed in.
No, I think I know, I have a feeling that was there and he had to just own it.
Yeh know.
Or what I would do is i would pretend my back hurt so I'll be crouching, so then you can't really perceive the difference in height. And I'm like, oh, I'm gonnatretch my back and then step on like and then when it's over, just kind of bend down a little bit and scootering.
Out, pretending you like dropped something at the podium.
He's double dipping too. Look at the he got. He got some some chunky heels there too. With the apple Box. I get it.
But he's so racist. He was like, I can't be smaller than this man of color. I'm debating. Yeah, but anyway, no small man energy detected.
Nope, Box, I'll prove to you I don't have a small man energy about me.
No small man energy found fight me, which is.
Great, And I love the response of O'Brien, which is, basically, you know where to find me any place, anytime, cowboy.
I'm not fucking with no teamster. Have you have you met teamsters?
Yeah?
Mark?
Wayne? Yeah?
No, no, no, no.
Maybe he saw that.
Elon Musk's mom asked did he not fight Mark Zuckerberg and was like, see that worked out cool and he's.
Staying say something but nah, now Elon, he's apparently he George Saint Pierre is saying, I'll train you for your fight against Zuckerberg.
Okay, it's all because sant Pierre Ago he's a MMA fighter.
Okay, but yeah, we'll see. But yeah, this is very It's just getting WWE mixed with dueling muskets.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Seventy three percent miles number of the day, daily guy's number of the day, seventy three That is the number of Americans who do not have a landline.
WHOA, hey, I know my grandma still has hers.
I don't.
This is kind of fucking me up.
I knew people don't fuck with landlines because I myself have had numerous moves where I've denied. I was like, no, no landline needed here, But seventy three percent is pretty wild. I didn't think that. Like my mom and like my aunts and like older relatives are a part of that distinguished twenty seven percent.
Yeah, that are still rocking with the landline.
Landlines are still when I go and visit my in laws, they still got the landline and they are still going off. As you might have heard, in the background of some of the episodes I've recorded there, the spam phone call industry is still alive and well, and it knows about your landline.
And they pick up every time thinking it's not someone named scam caller.
They just open with their social Security number to just get it out of the way, because they know that's what they're looking for.
I'm gonna go out on the limb and say every immigrant, like kids who whose parents are immigrants, has their landline still?
Yeah? Or if you just haven't moved in a long time.
Well, I just think of all my mom, like all the Japanese people I know that immigrated here that like live in the States. When I'm like thinking of people who still have like, those are all the people I think of the I'm oh my god, I like going like, wow, this Uni den cordless phone. I remember this from ninety eight. Yeah, because my dad doesn't have one. Yeah, And I think that's gonna be just American. He's too, he's American on that shit. But anyway, let us know who's who's got
him who doesn't. But I miss actually talking on the landline. I do miss that form of communication.
That was something that man I spent so much time as a kid talking to girls on a line Outkay, lover boy, lover boy over here.
Hey.
I had a girlfriend that I really liked in like sixth grade and she loved talking on the phone, and I would spend like three hours a day. It's like sitting there playing either Bulls Versus Lakers the song game or Labyrinth, the wooden box game. Yeah that you had to crouch the phone to get the connection going, and then you would play with a wooden box and a metallic silver Yeah. I got so good at that game,
like I can. I think the last time I tried, I could still take the marble all the way to the end and back.
Oh shit, good for you.
So yeah, yeah, I just man like the amount of time was front of the phone, and my mom thought someone was wrong with me. I would be quiet, and she would like walk in my room and I'd have the phone in my ear.
It's like, are you on the phone.
I'm like, are you receiving terrible?
She's like, you're not even talking right now, and I'm like, we're watching something still.
There's Cops is on. Oh my god, you see that ship dude? Oh my, the guy's so drunk. The tone of my conversations like we're doing that shit.
It's funny.
Our young producer Bay was saying, yeah, oh I would love a landline like that.
It's yeah, like it was so like kitch nostalgia.
Yeah, yeah, I get a record.
In a way, though, do you realize when like you didn't have smartphones and just all this like rapid information coming at you that, yeah, we were just spending time like on the phone.
That was just we weren't scrolling. We were like.
Honestly, so much of my day would be spent talking to like whoever my love interest was on the phone, and half the time it would be watching this what do you watching already? Now?
Oh oh whoa, whoa, I haven't seen this one. It's good, okay, okay, And then you're just doing that.
Those are the days, simpler times.
There's a there's a thing going viral, Titanics coming to Netflix.
People.
Some people seem angry and think that Netflix hurried up a Titanic appearance for July first, after the diving tragedy, the submersible tragedy.
But these things take take longer than.
That, So yeah, I get that, though, I get that people go oh Titanic. Oh okay, put Titanic on Netflix right now. I think a more sexy theory is that Netflix was behind the submersible going down.
That's an interesting idea.
As pre marketing, like they knew Netflix or Titanic was coming to Netflix and then they slowly just egged the guy on into a tragic end. Anyway, because I think that's all I have to believe. After talking about private equity, I'm like, yeah, probably they would do that too.
Yeah, right, But there's people. That's the thing.
I don't believe any thing now. I don't believe anything that's like competent and well planned out is happening because the entire power structure of the country is just people like doing a bad job on purpose and becoming billionaires.
Yeah, we're just driving until the tank's on empty. There's no grand scheme. But hey, yeah, I guess, I guess we'll check it out.
Was the last time you watched Titanic? It's seriously watching.
Like beginning to end.
Yeah, I think it's been since it was in theaters the first time.
And I think I probably did it like in college, like on a like just a for a while. Yeah, yeah, do you dare me to go in my room right now and watch Titanic all the way through and not come out n.
Til it's over.
Okay, just come out weeping.
Oh my god, Myles is so drunk. Dude, he just went in his room and watched Titanic the whole way through.
To be fair, as our writer Jam points out, James Cameron's movie remains the safest way to go get the Titanic.
Actually, I would say this. I spent entirely too much time on YouTube. I think I mentioned this on the show of like a rendering of the entire Titanic so you could actually kind of see around what it felt like on the inside, and like, look at all the rooms and shit, I just.
Need to close my eyes to do that, Miles. Wow, just my okay, dream palace. I just close my eyes and I'm back there with Jack with myself.
Oh wow, that's an image I think we're gonna have to make for.
One of your French girls.
Oh yeah, absolutely all right.
Those are some of the things that are trending on this Tuesday, June twenty seventh. We are back tomorrow with a whole last episode of the show, a very fun one. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourself, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacype and we will talk to you tomorrow.
Fight bye,