Hello the Internet, and welcome to Season three twelve, Episode three of Dilyshi Guys production of iHeartRadio. This is a podcast where we take a deep dive into America's share consciousness. It is Wednesday, November one, twenty twenty three.
Oh yeah, big day.
Hello's Day.
I guess, I mean it is day of the day. It's All Saints Day, it's Prime Meridian Day, it's National Biologic Coordinators Day, It's World Vegan Days, Cinnamon Day, calzoned, It's like everything, there's way too many things.
Wow, today they were all holding.
Dude, National deep Fried Clams Day, National Stress Awareness Day, Cook for your Pet's Day.
We're not doing that.
National Family Literacy Day, National Author's Day, National Vinegar Day. Okay, wow, I didn't even know they had the day, but yeah, shout out to you.
Like everyone was holding their breath for Halloween and then they're.
Like, yeah, what a day, what a day?
Wow? Uh well, all right, shout out to all of that shit. My name is Jack O'Brien aka. This is a story of a guy who pissed his pants named Jackie Obriy. That is courtesy of Landowski The l Nope Landowski Landowski c or LANDWSKIK no no way to know. Anyways, I'm throwed to be joined as always buy my co host, mister Miles gras Hey.
It's Miles Gray aka just bringing back the Halloween One aka Bile Spray. Thank you so much.
For having me.
I don't have my singing boots on today, but I have my lifted boots on and we will.
Talk about that later. We will talk about that best journalism being done in the United States right now, and know our priorities are not in this place. No best journalism being done is looking at weather Rondes Santa is wearing list, So we'll talk about it. Miles. We are thrilled to be joined in our third seat by one of our very favorite guests, a very funny comedian activists, the host of the great award winning podcast Good Muslim, Bad Muslim, the singer fellow on comedy at the Pop
Culture Collab. I is written in New York Times, wrote and performed a piece on NPRS Fresh Air. It is the hilarious, the talented Zara Norbal Sorrow.
Zara, last time we spoke to you, you were on the precipice of parenthood. Yo.
Was that a precipice. It feels like I'm on one now.
But the child is here. For listeners who are hanging on to the developments, the child is here, child.
Is health, child is here.
Oh congratulations, congratulations, what a child is this? I had a baby, and in this the sleep is slowly coming, slowly sleep?
Oh when I sleep.
Right right?
Right?
Yea wait I sleep?
I have like a panic. There she's sleeping, she sleeps fine, she's going to sleep right. Oh but my sleep right No, I'm never going to sleep again.
Oh well, yeah, it'll it's it's temporary. It's funny. Like our guest yesterday, April Simpson, also has a young child and was also dealing with sleep deprivation. So we better hope this whole week maybe should just be all sleep deprived for new parents.
Sleep deprivation, the sleep deprivation season. You're thirty one through twelve through twelve. Yeah, and that is so three twelve is the numerical equivalent of three point thirty one when your brain is sleep deprived. Exactly.
Yeah, it's actually it's my overrated, my overrated asleep.
I'm dead. Yeah, you read it.
I'll sleep in my lambeau when I finally get that ship right, bury me up right.
Ah right, I don't want to be sleeping. I maneuver a bulldozer daily. It's fine, workless.
No problem, all good, all good.
The sound of the people screaming when you're closing in on their house and bulldozer wakes you up. Oh yeah, yeah, no, I know that's part of the system.
Everything else works out.
Yeah, you're meant to just load this gravel into the truck. Oh right, where's the truck five miles that way?
When they say it takes a village, yeah, any range, no problem.
Shout out all the sleep deprived, tired cp CPE people out there.
Yeah, you just don't know. Everyone says you're not going to sleep, but this is a different kind of you don't sleep. It's just not the same. It's not like my husband was even saying, it's not like medical school. It's just different.
Yeah. Yeah, because you.
Have this like little peanut putty bee that could die any minute.
That's what the steaks feel like, especially early on, like half the time I would wake up to look if seeing my kid like.
Still in the bass and net okay good.
And when they're sleeping soundly, you're like are you dead?
Yeah, you're like this is too sound. And then you got to like like, I don't want to touch them, but I'm gonna see if I see their lungs moving. Yeah, and then they're too small. Sometimes you can't tell them the swaddle, so then you want to hold your finger under their nose breath comes out.
I know.
Look, we're all we all suffer from this sickness at some point.
We're crazy how much they keep on breathing even when you're not watching. Yeah, I'd never like, I'm the type of person who like feels like I need to stay vigilant on a plane in order for it not to crash, even though that's funny. Yeah, I'm like gripping the silence, just like, come on, man.
I've been flying planes, have you really?
Yeah, just since you just since you gave birth.
Because I've been so sleep deprived, I just wanted to test myself.
Yeah, And the line, right, that's I kind of like like there's got to be some work of sat tired that it's like that that like somebody once they become incredibly sleep deprived and incoherent, people just start trusting them with everything, because that does seem to be how things work and in Washington.
Am I just gonna say, like the US presidency. If there's ever been a president, a consistent presidency that feels like it's asleep, it would be the US presidency.
I'd noise looks like he's straining so hard to keep his eyes open. It's like that moment like when you're in class and like you're you've just like never been more tired in your life. You're just like, damn my eyes, ye want a different one. I want to close so badly. All right, Well, so are we going to get to know you a little bit better in a moment. First, we're going to tell our listeners a couple of things that we're talking about today. We are going to talk
about Ronda saying his boots. We have diagram, we have expert opinion, we got it all. So we're gonna look at that. We're gonna look at another another one of these dang shoplifting rings that popped up in the last couple months and it turns out to be bullshit again. Wait Waingle, damn time miles every single time. What is it about it.
When these when these retail companies start screaming crime wave it's not.
But oh my god, I was here for the last one.
Oh well, great, well perfect timing with you.
You bring the mythbusting realization, so we appreciate those already.
We'll talk about Halloween, candy weather, what you should do with it, how you should consume it according to dentists, and we will talk about a subculture that I need to get in on that's happening in New Zealand. It involves blasting Celine Dion.
As loud as you fucking can.
People are like, it's a social contagion, and I say, let let it burn?
Then yeah, or do you mean.
Let it burn? Exactly? That's what I meant. The second one, My hock will b there we go, trend will go on, there you go. I can't sing like Celeine Dion. It turns out that's why you gotta just blast it, Just blast it.
You have to get into pound your chest.
Oh yeah, get that vibrato, get that Wolf of Wall Street. That's right. I was watching that very recently, one of those ones that gets in your bones and you have to watch it every once in a while. But which start Matthew McConaughey started. That was like a vocal warm up he was doing, and Scorsese was like, could you just like do that on camera? That was weird as fuck.
That's how why we have that. Before we get to any of its are we do like to ask our guests, what is something from your search history math jokes, math jokes, a math joke?
What's a math jake? Give me hit me with one?
Okay, the I says to the pie, be irrational?
Why says to the pie irrational?
And the pays BG. The pie says back, get real.
This is rational number.
Come on, you know the imaginary number.
I oh, okay, I'm a ha ha love that math joke.
One of the Okay samue Obai has better math jokes than the ones I found on the internet.
But it was.
Math joke cartoons.
Wait wait, what got you on to math jokes?
Somebody told me that they don't like comedy, they just like math.
Yeah.
It was like some guy was like nagging me in a in the grocery storeline.
Were you doing like a tight five about grocery lines or something?
I mean, okay, let's be real. I'm a out of commission comedian right now, performing right now, which means that I'm performing everywhere everywhere.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Like.
I'm sorry, world, that's just what happens, Just trying jokes out on everybody.
Wait, so you ask someone randomly and lie you like, hey, like you want to hear a joke?
Basically basically that's what I'm doing now, just like I say a dumb funny thing like, oh, I guess this line's gonna just keep going And I don't get.
That a geometry Is that a geometry joke?
No, it gets there, you know, like then they just like keep at it, you know, just double down, like it's just a wrapping around corners, all the corners. I'm sure there's a math joke to plug in here.
Yeah, well famously keep going. Yeah, in geometry, they just keep going.
And going and pie goes and goes forever. And the guy was like, I like math, just not jokes. And I was like, what the what.
The fuck are you talking about?
Man?
What? I don't know if person, you know, they were just the person like, yeah.
Is he telling me to stop making nice?
I just don't.
I love that binary though it's math or humor, pick one. It's like, I don't know, but I guess why wasn't the geometry teacher at school because she sprained her angle. You like that one? You like that guy and he's like crying.
It's so like, fuck ah, you rite that this moment has changed me.
Right right right? I love it. I like math? Okay?
He like was he my seven year old son sort of thing. My seven year old son would say to me, like, I try and make him laugh and he's like, I like math, dad, okay jokes. That's kind of fucked up.
That's actually probably the most scathing response you could give, where you're like, honestly, I like math better than whatever the fuck this is.
I know. Yeah.
I was like, man, come on, man, I I've had a baby.
I'm please, man, I haven't I haven't gone up in like months.
You just burst into tears.
And he's like, fuck fuck, I'm sorry.
Okay, I didn't know.
I didn't What the fuck?
That's when I dropped the fourth lift on him.
Yeah, that's right. What what's something you think is overrated?
Okay? Overrated? Asleep? You don't need it?
Okay.
I can no longer, ironically, I can no longer do mental math in my head.
Mm hmm, oh wow, because just running on pure fumes in this can I can't.
If you were to be like five minus two, I just stare at you. I like I'd wait for you to do it.
I just like everyone, of course knows minus two is.
You're doing that thing where like you're at a party and you don't know a person's name and you're trying to get them to say it.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Oh and then this is my partner, and this is uh uh three h.
Sure yeah your name?
Good sir? Why of course I know your name. It's as simple as five minus three is, which is, of course, and I don't even have to finish that. Well, my name is Hank. But that worse two I guess, right too. Yeah, sure, I wasn't. You're not an idiot, I guess.
But I can do. I could operate heavy machinery just fine, right, fly planes, and I could probably perform surgery.
Oh easy, easy, easy.
I mean the stuff that we have to do as parent, as new parents, like cutting a baby's fingernails on an hour of sleep.
Oh shit, yeah, you know how long I fucking waited, baby, those little tiny baby fingernails. I was so afraid. I'm like, I'm gonna cut the whole fucking fingertip off, like I'm like, nah man, And then in the beginning I was biting them off. I was like, and nobody got presitionent precision like my mouth.
And.
So you're you're a fingernail viighter right yeah, yeah, every now and then.
But then now like it's finely to the point where I trust myself with those little baby fingernail scissors and like we were doing all right, but yeah, it's there's a lot. There's a lot getting adjusted to little tiny life.
And then just holding her going downstairs. I go downstairs with a child. Yes, I don't know why that's so terrified to me.
Like you are when you're flying that plane, you know exactly.
Yeah, so that's why I just was like, sign me up for all the things. I don't need sleep. I'm a hero. Yeah, I just don't ask me to do math. I can't tell you what five minutes three is, but I can do everything else.
But yeah, oh yeah, you need me to you mean to operate that back home real quick? Yeah?
Easy?
But I mean there is a They found a real similarity between like sleep deprivation and like having a couple of drinks, Like they're not that dissimilar and like, yeah, I definitely get because because when you're sleep deprived, you you have less energy. Your inner critic has less energy to like pop up and be like, hey, shut the fuck ups, what are you doing? You can't drive a back up, so you're just a little bit there's just
less energy to go around. And so some of the things that are you know, luxuries, like the things that step on the brakes for us during our most awake moments, are no longer operational, and we just get that's why we, you know, get a little punchy, because we're we're basically sleep drunk.
I've been sleep drunk.
Yeah great, And this is why you should be flying those planes because you have utter confidence.
Would you rather have a Would you rather have a drunk ass pilot or a sleep deprived pilot?
That's what I'm saying. You want me?
Is this a math joke? I don't know.
I'm just if we're likening the two right, and people always make jokes about how pilots are drunk as should all the time. Would you I'm like part of me?
I like the drunk pilot, yeah drive yeah, yeah, like a sleep deprived yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. And that's why they're so damn smooth. When they get on Mike, they're like, hey.
Right when you get that you get the phone call from your boss, that's like waking you up because you slept in you'r late for work.
And they're like well, and you're like, yeah, man, I'm so yeah, I'm looking at my car now. But he sounds so fucking chilled out.
Man, what I sound like to my baby? Hey?
Yeah, read a cruising altitude thirty thousand feet? What I just ask? Why you're not at the office.
I'm gonna land this plane on a fork?
Yeah?
What did the acorns say when it grew up? What? Gee? I'm a tree? Uh?
Ship, We're doing it.
And that's how I end. That's how I punctuate all my mass jokes. And that's a mass joke.
What uh?
What's something you think is underrated?
Okay? Everyone should have a child.
This is such parent Uh.
I love it everyone, no matter what, no matter this.
Yes, everyone adopt a baby, have a baby, take someone else's, do an egg donation, kidnap a baby. However you get to it. You should have a baby. It's an experience.
I like that you said it, like it was almost like doing ayahuasca or something like that. It's soward, dude, it's a fucking rifts. Oh my god.
What do you do on ayahuasca? You like remember your past, you go into your deepest, darkest holes. You throw up a couple of times.
Yeah, oh my god, you're visited by the spirit ye, by a presence that is familiar yet more good.
Yeah, do you know what it's like to just like be there at like two o'clock in the morning, just like an excruciating pain. But by the way, I'm forty having a kid like this is not like being twenty or thirty. Even when you're forty and you're having a kid like.
It ain't for sissies.
Oh my god.
It is my old crusty man and alcoholics getting old. Ain't for sissy's kids. Oh my god, my back my, oh my god. Yeah.
It just like I can't tell you how many times I like thought back to all these like baby showers I bleue off or like friends that I just was like, oh, yeah, did you have.
A kid, No big deal, whatever, I'll see.
You when you come out of that in five years.
I guess, wells are you're doing a hell of a job selling.
Thank you.
I think everyone who has heard this can agree we should all have kids. Yeah.
Yeah, it's so hard, and like all the ways that your life hasn't been hard up to that point, you know, like you just.
Don't know you just like I had. I have a Dula who and by the way, thank god for Dula's talk about underrated and she also is a parent now and she just was like, yeah, I just had no idea.
Yeah, like even you can be.
An infant care specialist, yea, you have your own kid, and then you're like, oh my god, the hours, oh my god, the it just when they cry. There's no one else in the world who when they cry, like every bone in my soul feels like it did something wrong.
Yeah, it happens. It happens, and it spreads to other like I can't watch nature documentaries. I can't watch movies, wear beds, really your children. Yeah, nature documentaries are fucked up because it's like, oh, the natural rule of Like I don't know if it was just the specific nature documentary I saw, but so many nature documentaries involve the youngest member of a pack getting picked off by a wolf or by some sharks.
Oh yeah, that would suck me up.
Yeah, and you can't. It's like you see the mother the mother animal, like you know.
Having Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.
No, no, no, thank you.
I told you, Jack, You've got to stop watching that compilation video on YouTube.
It's not it's fucked up. Baby animal. Baby animals get launched. Okay.
But here's why else everyone should just have a kid. It's because I realized, like part of the reason why I waited till I was forty is because there was just no accessibility for me in my thirties to be able to have a child. Yeah, And there are all these like social programs that we used to have that we just like do not have anymore. And like in other countries, there's all this nanny care support. Nannycare is
like subsidized by the government, you know. And I just think, like social structures vanishing is a sign that we all need to just like procreate or you know, adopt or you know, do egg donation or surrogacy, because the more we're all having children, the more these programs have to be like supported.
Right.
Yeah, Yeah, So this is my pyramid scheme.
Is to just have more people have kids. And cources puts the pressure upwards.
Of the bottom up approach.
It's like, is this how I become that anti? That is like, how come we haven't had kids yet?
All right, let's take a quick break and we'll come back and talk about some news. We'll be right back, and we're back. Why did the two four skip lunch, you guys? Because because they.
Are already like that was right there, already.
There, the already is key in that joke which King loved fractions which Henry eighth.
I read that one and I was like, well, that one sucks because I didn't because I was like, I thought it was Henry the one eighth. I hadn't even like thought about it.
I could say it, but hey, yeah, all for one night. Now, that's an eighth right there, bro, that's right, the three point five grams.
And I call my drug dealer. I would say, hey, could I have a one eighth please? What eighth of one ounce? Please?
Yes?
The good, the good good that Mary Jane, is that one aronic of one ounce, one eighth of one ounce of the finest.
Chronic Oh my god, I miss weed so much.
Oh yeah, well, hey, all in due time, All in due time, that's right, just like the reckoning for rondas Antis's boots all time.
That's right, it happened.
Look, but we've looked, we've talked about the boots. His boot game is strong, some say even fishy, saying what's going on down there? And people started dragging, like drying dry diagrams of what they believe to be in their lifts within the boot. And you know, the GOP sadly is not a great party to run in, especially for men that are perceived as anything less than a twelve
foot tall rambo recreation. And naturally, the Trump fans have especially gone in on Ron DeSantis's boots as a way to like, you know, nag him and be like Trump number one, This guy wears boots that have lifts in them. And the debate over like his heels has now got to the point where political fucking political outlet got the fucking opinions of several cowboy boot and shoot experts like fucking cobblers to figure out whether or not Ron DeSantis is actually wearing altered boots.
This is awesome and.
The look it's in now, okay, we've got the results in All of these people are saying something's going on here.
Something may write ron there's one diagram They point to diagram miles. It's the best journalism I've seen in the past five years.
It's it's it's a close up of him sitting on like a barstool, but just focused in from his like ankles and foot area, and they say like number like one, they're saying like, oh, the leather is bunching too much here, meaning like that there must be there must be a foot there. Another point shows too.
What where his ankle joint is?
Right, Yeah, they're like, that's where his ankle joint is. Then they point to like where his toes likely end, and then they judgtapose out there like right next to it. Number four. You can see where that big joint is, where your big toe meets your foot yet bulging that thing's pushing out way too early. That's like in the midst like in the arches area. And they're like the verdict is our man is playing around with these.
Bigness and like the function of the diagram. The diagram is so effective. You can like see his foot inside the boots and you can see how uncomfortably it is positioned, like he is suffering for his art here is Yeah, it's it's not great, like straight up his ankle, his like toes pointed like a ballerina. But then it's also
like mashed to the side, like his calf. It would be wild like if you like snapped his achilles on the you know, but like I wouldn't be surprised, pretty he might tear his calf in the next few Yes, calf has to be in just agony at all time.
I kind of love it when men get picked apart like women do.
Though right exactly, this does.
Bring me great joy. I mean, and and talk about your calves being in agony all the time, and she's, oh, my lord.
Welcome, welcome. Ron.
There one boot maker they spoke to in Texas who candidly admitted he's like, you know, actually have made custom boots with hidden lifts.
Four politicians in Texas.
I won't say who, but let's just say I know how this shit works.
They say, say, it ain't George S. Bush. I couldn't think of it. I couldn't think of a letter. Besides, w what's what I call him? G Bush? No, that's too obvious, George W. B.
What is the theory behind it. I mean, doesn't Tom Cruise wear lifts and he like saves the country regularly?
I think, yeah, and some shots too. And then other times, like I know that they'll just have him like standing on stuff just to make.
Him right or something. Yeah, exactly.
But so the one guy, this this Texas bootmaker, plainted to the fact that he's like, the boots do have a traditional Western silhouette, but the heels appear shorter, and he's saying that when you put inserts into cowboy boots, you want to actually saw down the exterior. He because you can get up to a quote five inch scletto of height in there if you do it right. And he said, and he said, quote that's too much for
the common man. So on already made boot, they'll cut down the heel about half an inch to accommodate the lifts, which looks to be what happened here. Point of evidence number two is they point to his pant legs that seems to indicate that he is wearing a wider than necessary boot that would also accommodate the insert And so if you look at I would.
Have to agree looking at this diagram, it's pretty clear to me what's going on?
Yeah, it's and you hate to see it, you know, Like again, the GOP is not a place for short kings, especially when two like a lot of like the political people pointed out, like taller candidates win a lot of the time, except for like the one time where Barack Obama is shorter than Mitt Romney and Joe Biden is shorter than Donald Trump.
But guess what I don't just in my mind, zi, Barack Obama is not sure of than Mett Romney. Barack Obama and a half to two inches taller than Mitt Romney in my mind's eye. And that's all the matt right, Like when we're you know, like when people are voting, they're not like sitting there and looking at like a boxing way in it's like how tall they read? Yeah, you know needs as taller.
You're right, My grandma's always said to me, it's not how big it is, it's the motion of the ocean.
Yes, your grandma seat too mainly defeat just talking.
About I think she was talking about big dicks.
But really, oh well, hey, shout out the wisdom of Grandma for there too. Yeah, but like he recently went on a podcast right where the host is like a fucking avowed trumper, like he's worked on the campaigns, like all he does is pray, which.
Also, by the way, is weird to be in a vowed trumper. Is just like, what have you done with your life? Okay? Continue?
So he shouldn't. So Ron de Santis went and on this show knowing that the MAGA people have been come in for his boots, and the host did not waste time making Rond de Santis squirm with his concern trolling over his boots, like really put it away. He's like, oh, do.
You know what they're saying about you right now?
But here, listen to this crip.
This can't feel good, and I'm just worried about your mental well being.
Truly, truly, this is him on this podcast where immediately he goes for the boot or the throat or whatever we're saying here.
I'm sure your marketing team points out how they're trying to troll you in the marketplace. Okay, I'm sure they're doing that. Can you bring this one clip? I know you were on what do you call it?
On?
What was it?
Bill Maher and Bill Maher talked about the boots I've seen you walk with these boots. Go and play this clip this on TikTok went viral. It doesn't have a million views, It doesn't have you know, ten million views. This thing's got one point two million likes, and some people are wondering.
How do they I don't even under I haven't seen that.
What there's They have not shown this to you, Okay. What they're trying to say with this is that in your boots you have heels.
No, no, no, those are just standard off the rack. Luke Hazy, how tall?
How tall you governor? How eleven five to eleven? Okay?
Why don't you wear tennis shoes and dress shoes?
I do wear tennis shoes when I work out. Yeah you do?
Okay.
I got a gift for you. I'd love for you to wear okay, I shop.
Oh he looks so guilty.
He's preaking out sneakers for him to wear.
I don't accept gifts. I can't accept that.
I found it out. So it ends right there with him being able to be like I actually can't accept gifts or even trying the sneakers that would.
Verify be on this show anymore. Out of here.
It's so fucked up. Like part of me, like you know you as part. I understand like the toxic masculinity of it all. But for someone who is such a vile piece of ship, you're like, now your rep what is so fella?
You know what I mean?
For all this stuff you do to come at people who are different than the ciss head crowd, Like this is kind of this is a beautiful irony.
But like yellow line diagram was the best thing I've ever seen.
Yeah, the host shows the outline of like what people suspect is going on here. It's like the magic bullet diagram in JFK.
And it's like so convincing. It's like, just exactly what's going Did you see how his posture change. His posture changed when he said five, Like we said how tall? You said five eleven and he signed.
But I was like, sir, your shoulders are a lot lower in relation to that chair than your the host is, which because you can't you can't, you can't fake the torso you know, you know what I mean. But anyway, it's definitely clear the host is trying to rattle him, and I would say he succeeded, but like I wonder if like now DeSantis's team is like now internally trying to figure out how to play this, Like do they embrace it and be like all right, you caught him?
So what He's still a fucking monster biggot the world.
He's a small man, but a huge bigot, huge big So.
What are we talking about? He's got a lot of hate in his heart. He's got this guy, I'm telling you, he's a hustle racist. This guy's all hustled.
Don't warrior that?
I mean, is this what undoes a racist?
Is?
Like? But you're you're actually short and that's it. That's what makes him be like, oh no, I have to reefing my entire career trajectory.
Maybe they don't say gay stuff was a bridge too far.
No, no, it's my shoes.
Watching that podcast host just like push him around, just have his way with him, like makes me real, Like he couldn't be a worst candidate to be the guy trying to unseat Donald Trump like professional bully, Like like truly the worst pick possible. Yeah, Like because they can come up with he has to know that at some level that has to be what's happening with like that when they're like okay, say everything and then smile and like the smile that he flashes appears to be trying
to kill him. Yeah, exactly.
It looks like he's being lightly electrocuted trying to hide it. He's all good, He's like, but yeah, this is again this the saga will continue that podcast host to your point, Jack, like it was such like I love a low energy concerntrol, like they didn't tell you about. I don't know if they're worried about this. I don't know if your team's show. Oh they didn't show you. Okay, so this is what they're saying in the marketplace.
And then the diagram, Yeah, the damning diagram.
We just let me just show you something here real quick. Never never thoughts on this guy.
Yeah, okay, Ron, Okay, I'm looking at this picture of him that you have here in Tampa.
Mm hmm.
That is a man wearing lifts.
Oh yeah, and oh yeah yeahah absolutely absolutely. The video of him walking across the stage in the boots, it's oh yeah, I've never seen it. Also, it just looks like if you had taped erasers to the bottom of my feet and asked me to walk around on them. I don't know why that's what I went with. But like it, you know, like just the discomfort of like walking on a thing that is not supposed to be there, Like it just feels weird.
What if it turns out they're not lifts, it's just how he walks in boots.
That would actually be really that would be something we were also saying earlier off Mike that what if he just had one really big toe and that's why he's got to have his foot all back set into the thing he doesn't want to wear. He doesn't want to wear overly long shoes, so it's better to go vertical with it to get buy that big toe from space and then he has to do a big toe reveal to be like it's not lyfts. Guys, I got fine at my big ass toes man, Are you happy this.
Such a long toad king, I would be forced to, you know, feel a little bit of simpathy.
Yeah, shout out the lt cas.
Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. Amongst the GOP it's okay to be different.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they seem to appreciate that, they embrace the fact that humans are varied and they don't conform to just one sort of set of traits or identities. But yeah, we'll see ron Nikki Haley's gaining on you. But I don't know what that means anyway, because it's Trump's to lose or actually to win, I guess really.
Yeah, gaining and that means that she's getting closer to second place, and second place is behind Trump by like forty percentage points.
Right, Oh yeah, I can't believe he's running.
He's gonna win. He's gonna win. That's crazy, stocks He's gonna win. He's gonna he's gonna run the country from pretty.
He's Biden's dropping the ball right now. He's upside down on everything. He doesn't know do this for it? He doesn't know do domestic polsease. He's losing, He's losing support, folks. But yeah, anyway, do we feel that next year?
Yeah?
Yeah, truly, I mean destabilization here we are?
Do we think that the reason? Because this is like giving me a new perspective on like what it must have been like to be a short king who's living a lie and like has to be in lifts all the time in public, and like it. It just puts a whole new perspective on Tom Cruise, for me and the idea that like, you know, how he runs like loves to run in movies, like, movies are the one place where he can use camera trickery to appear taller, right, And so I just wonder if it's like he just
feels free. It's the only place that he feels free because he can just like you know, otherwise having to walk around in these in these lifts like which just look look like a real nightmare to I.
Mean, given that he also is very high up there in a major international cult. Yeah right, I imagine movies are a place where he's free.
Yeah, that's true.
Also yeah, well yeah, because we're talking about how like JM was sort of doing an analysis our writer and suspected that the Mission Impossible movies are sort of like low key about trying to get out of scientology.
What Yeah, it's the theory is strong, Like the theory kind of holds together, it coheres.
Right, so much going on in a boot I.
Know exactly just let us look in them boots? Wrong? What if this was all just because I had to run to Santa's foot fetish. I was just like, just let us look at your feet. I see those things, man? You don't got nothing on wiki feet. Man, you got them fangs on you, them long toes.
I mean I knew coming into.
This, I knew you knew that's what this was about.
I'm into fetishes. I have a fetish for fetishes.
So I know, yeah, all right, good, let's take a quick break and we're gonna come back and just keep talking about round sentences that we'll move on to something else. We'll be right there and we're back, and has anyone So there's that one there's that one picture of him on the beach, right yeah, with Casey and it's like clearly photoshopped and there are no footprints behind them? Is that because of something to do with like maybe his feet aren't even real?
Isn't that don't make him a vampire?
Yeah, maybe he's a vampire. That's if you're footless?
Can we can?
We can get right on them feet pictures.
I feel so terrible that I didn't actually put this into the document for us to look at.
But yeah, well you know I would be.
Described what he's got fike feet, folks.
Yeah, thick feet, thickfoot king.
Yeah, those look like the inflamed foot of a man who's been wearing lifts.
Yeah, and one of his feet is propped up like a barbie foot.
He can't stop propping it.
His imagine that foot is stuck like that from overuse of the lifts.
They it took three days to get the left foot like flattened out, but they yeah, yeah, he.
Has extremely flat feet.
Yeah yeah. Well, hey, Ron, not anymore, not with the magic of these lifts.
No, not at all.
All right, we have an update on the story that we've been covered breathlessly. We're like, guys, stop stealing from Target. There's a left ring that is putting them out of business, and it turns out that is bullshit.
Yeah, we've been covering, like I remember, the first one we're talking about is probably Walgreens in the Bay Area.
They're like, oh god, it's so out of control.
And then it's like, no, your rents to you're not doing enough business and you've over expanded too quickly, and you're using this as cover. And now the latest one was like about a month ago. Target is the latest company crying crime wave and they said we're gonna have to close nine stores because they're shoplifting so much. And again every.
Fucking place CNBC.
Target says it will close nine stores in major cities citing violence and theft. Wall Street Journal target to close stores in San Francisco, other cities sighting theft. Bloomberg Target closes nine n YC. West Coast stores to stop losses from rising theft. The New York Times target sighting theft to close nine stores.
Everybody just took this and ran with it, okay, and sadly for two York Times is the most liberal publication in the world.
What obviously, Yeah, I'm so confused.
I know their coverage is so to the left. It's right, that's how fucking wild it is.
It's crazy.
But like, sadly for them, jud Legum's Popular Information team took a look at the numbers of the stores afe in San Francisco and New York and guess what, These stores that are being shuttered actually had lower instances of theft than the fucking stores that are remaining open.
What does that work?
And then but politicians, they only read the Wall Street Journal, so naturally, a few senators have introduced a bill called the Combating Organized Retail Crime Act, And that's really just more cop shit, right obviously, and they point to this statistic in their press release about why they need to act, quote, organized retail crime cost retailers seven hundred twenty thousand dollars for every one billion dollars in sales. That's a fifty percent since twenty fifteen.
Damn, I'm in the wrong business.
Hey wait quick math those are you love math joke? And I know you're really good at math? What percentage of seven hundred twenty thousand out of one billion?
Three?
There you go, it's.
Actually zero point zero seven percent of sales. And like the group that they say they get the stats from, this lobbying group, the.
National Retail Federation is.
The one keeping the stats, and even they admit they stopped recording these specific stats like back in twenty twenty because the numbers are so minuscule.
Oh my god.
And really a lot of people are just like, just like the Walgreens thing, some people who are like savvy investors kind of looking into it and they're like, it looks like maybe a target is just trying to hide behind the theft argument to cover up the fact that their stores are just doing less business because they're poorly planned in the locations they're at.
And maybe because the prices might still be too high.
Maybe that could also be a thing too, but of course that couldn't be that what target'd be like we're losing business because our ship's overpriced.
Yeah.
Well, and also for them to have nine.
Stores, oh yeah, close down, like and that's just.
The ones they close, Like there's more stores that they have. I mean it's poor planning. Yeah, take down there.
Yeah, but I've seen a lot of people argue about this store to where they're like.
People really buy into it.
They love to people love to cape for retail stores. It's fucking wild. Like there's like there's a Twitter thread going on. I was like looking at people saying, like, if you knew anything about being in retail, you know that, like law enforcement is so underfunded that they can't even do anything about it. And other people were like, have you ever worked at a store and have someone steal something? You never call the cops, you know why, because they're
gonna be like the fuck you want us to do? Yeah, like did you catch them?
Their response to most things, it turns out.
Oh wait, hold on, there's someone having a fucking mental health crisis.
We're right there, We're right there. Gunshrown.
But yeah, like it's yeah, so this fucking this, this like little dumb story keeps coming back all the time. It'll never go away, but you cry out for that.
Theft has gone up a little bit in the past ten years, and that is because of self checkouts. They introduced self checkouts because and it was a calculated risk that self checkout would save them enough money that it would offset the losses they would have from people just being like miss missed that one. But okay, okay.
Everyone knows that self checkout is where you go when you want.
To steal ship. Yeah, yeah, and they know that I do. I'm just saying yeah. And also what you do is the person who's like the monitor, like the one human they have over there, you get good with them. You're like, hey, man, you want I'm about to come up on a London broil. If you want, I'll split it with you.
And you're like, that's right, listen, I'm gonna buy this boot lift. Yeah, don't tell anyone about it. That's how I that's not my sleep deprived brain does things. Hey, I'm going to commit an act.
And they're like, I think you're here for your child's three month checkup?
Oh oh my bad. Okay, sorry I thought it wasn't target all right. There's a story from dentists where I appreciate the specificity of their vision. The they're really like just being like, we don't give a fuck about any other part of the body. We're good here. So an article this week, a dentist in Virginia implored kids to eat all their Halloween candy and one sitting because it's much better for your teeth.
Oh hilarious.
It might upset your belly a little bit. Yeah, might get all your candy in one sitting. It might like put you into a diabetic coma. Like literally, but I don't know every single Dennis, yeah, every but this isn't like one way silly Dennis, Like every single year Dennis give this same advice where they're like, I mean, if you're gonna eat candy, like a big bag full of candy, might as well get it out of the way now and then just go brush your teeth immediately.
Oh, rather than like a prolonged, a prolonged, multi year's effort like my weird bag candy vault would be.
Because you're candy in one city, you're exposing your teeth to that frequency one time. But if you're sitting there and you're eating it every twenty thirty minutes for the next few days, over the next week, it's causing more damage to your teeth. Oh that's that's a quote from one dentist.
I put it all in a bowl by my bed, and after I brush my teeth, I have one.
Yeah you go. I do not use hands. I just go face first into a bowl of peel.
Yeah.
Of I call it peeled candy. That's how much. That's how much I use I'm consuming vegetables and fruits that the only thing I can say is peeled candy. Peel the wrap, peel the skin off my candy, and then just go at it.
Yeah, yeah, you gotta. You gotta do the thing where you know those flat jolly rancher candies.
Oh yeah, yeah, those are so good.
You just put those on each side of your mouth before you take a little retainer.
Yeah, wrap it around so I got it for a little bit, and wrap it around both so you have one in your bottom jaw. Oh yeah, yeah, topjaw.
And then or like going X rays and that film, you have to bite down on just those flat pieces. I just love that.
I just I don't know. I guess it could be argued that it's also not great for kids teeth to have them bult through a plate glass window and a sugar crazed frenzy after eating an entire pillowcase full of candy. But I'm with the dentists on this one.
Hey, you know what, I watch a lot of true crime. You know what lives outlives you? Your teeth?
Teeth, that's right.
Yeah, you know, after you've been murdered and manslaughtered, massacred, whatever, tortured by a serial killer, how do you want your teeth to look to the whole rest of the world.
That's what that's mainly. Yeah, when people are like, what am I going to leave behind when they're having existential crises? Teeth, Just your teeth, that's what you're going to leave behind.
So you sit down, little Jimmy and you eat that entire goddamn bag of candy.
Yes, do you think wat?
You do you think kids want to do that? Like, I know everyone's like, I'm gonna eat it now, but like I feel like there's always that sort of deferred gratification thing, like yeah.
No, he's reading to parents of kids with candy like adults in charge of kids bags of candy, right right? I used to eat my knees is candy. They forget about it.
Yeah, yeah, they really do. They are crazy shit.
They forget about it after like three days. They're like, yeah, whatever, Halloween, Oh Jack.
Do you dole it out?
Do I dole it out?
Yeah?
They're no.
I'm saying, are they in control of their their bag account? No? No, no. They get a couple of pieces on Halloween night and then like maybe one or two and like a couple of nights after, and then they forget about it because they're also like they my wife raised them on the idea that fruit is dessert and fruit is the sweetest thing that you get, and so they are there they really prefer fruit to candy. And I'm just sitting there
being like, you suckers. When I eat all of their candy and Dad has all my Jolly Ranchers in his mouth again, I'm going to enjoy for the rest of the night. Dad's teeth rotting out of his head at such a rate that we can actually see it in real time.
I think I saw a worm come out of his incisor too.
How's a gummy worm, I saying.
It's gonna diagram on this.
Yeah, and finally we've got a great trend a thriving subculture in New Zealand. There's been a bunch of headlines in the past week about how a New Zealand town has been plagued by drivers blasting Selene Dion ballads, which has turned people's lives into chaos.
It sounds to me like plagued is the wrong, should be enhanced blest, yeahs, blessed, thank you.
But yeah, it makes it sound like it's a prank of some sort of some sort, but it's actually kind of nuanced and beautiful. So there's this, there's this elaborate New Zealand subculture in which siren clubs have quote siren battles where they blare music on speakers hooked up to modded cars or bikes to compete for the title of Siren King to win. So this is like this was happening with like bass when when I was growing up
with like cars with like yeah bass war. But the difference here is to win, their sounds can't just be the loudest. They also have to be the clearest, which is why competitors many of them of the Pacifica community have been using Celine Dion because her music has high treble, which it makes it very clear. You can play at it a loud volume and three blocks away they just hear the voice of an angel sound out in the night, clear as a bell.
As if I didn't already want to move to New Zealand enough, I know, Right, that's their biggest problem is people blasting Celine Dion.
Yeah.
Well, and it's wild too, because it's not even like even when people are like it's a gang or whatever, they're like, no, it's actually like a really positive thing for like young people.
It's not even like they're doing a gang. They say, like the kids are like actually, like this keeps me pretty like it's like a fun, productive thing that we do together, right.
It like it reminds me of like how like in some cities on the East Coast, like they're they're like angry when they see like groups of kids in this like city on bikes and stuff. Yeah, and they're like.
It's a nuisance.
You're like, honestly, some of these kids like this is this is healthier for them to have fun together doing something like on a bike. Then you know, getting into some fucking nonsense or get in trouble. So it's it's it's always interesting to see how these subcultures pop up. And then like I love that it's such a respect
for the fidelity that they've had to dial it. And it's like Selene Dion is actually like it's not even about the style, it's about this is the music that helps us really determine who the Siren King is.
I'm just picturing like a bunch of teenagers. It's like that scene in Shawshank when like the voice comes over and like all these teenagers just like look up in a single tier like runs down their eye, you know.
Right, Okay, what's your favorite Selene Dion ballad?
I mean the power of Lirve? Yeah, I feel it has to be right. I'm blacks and that shit. If I'm not by heart well going, that.
Feels I'm sorry, it feels a little little played.
Although I'm not saying the power of Nerve is the you know, like an original banger either, but I just feel like that would if I'm trying to be a Siren King, I'll probably try and win.
With that one.
I think you would win, Sion King Miles and.
You know, thank you so much. I'm you know, I'm I am planning to just maybe make my way to Auckland to see how I can you imagine that fucking comedy movie about some dude in like America.
I'll be like, I just want to be a siren King dad.
And making the journey to New Zealand.
Do it. Live your dream, Live.
Your dream boy. But he's trying to like bring bass music to the Siren battles and they're like, everyone's like this fucking sucks man. It's just it's all muddled. Man, I can't this is not Siren King material.
If you kiss me like this, oh like that, it's all coming all coming back.
I'll come in the backroom. I mean, now, wow, when it gets to.
Baby, that's when you're fucking That's when you just put your siren King crown on. You're like, yep, any other questions.
That that sh it's hot.
I feel like I will always love you. Would be a fun one to just like hear again ring out because it opens with that long a cappella. Just just her, just Whitney, you know.
I mean, she's got lines like the flesh and the fantasy folks.
It's all coming back when you when you said that line, it's all coming back to me, and it's all coming back to me. I just could smell the back seat of my parents car that song was playing, and I was nine years old.
Oh, I thought this was you like making like making out in the back of your parents car, and you like.
Should I put the celine Dion on? Shall we? Uh? Shall we smooch to some celine?
Damn Jack?
Shall we bless the back seat with some celine? Like can you take me home? Yeah? Yeah, sorry, that was a big swing on my part.
I didn't.
Sorry. Why do you have goosebumps? Drop me off? Drop me off? Up here? Well, Zara, such a pleasure as always having you on the daily zeitgeist. Where can people find you? Follow you all that good stuff?
You can find me at the grocery store in line, try and have some jokes. Yeah, but if you don't look there, you can catch me on x Zara Comedy.
Nah, you're on Twitter.
It's Twitter, you.
Know, on the ig metaverse.
Oh wow, so you can stand up on the latest trends. Uh.
Just don't ask me to do mental math, folks.
That's right, right, for sure. And is there a work of media that you've been enjoying.
Oh my god, no, not one.
No, looking at my baby monitor.
Camera pro I've been really no. I've just started Bluey.
You just started Bluey? Yeah? Oh man, I was just bringing I was just having a Blue revival in the past couple of weeks at our house. Blue is the best? Have you gotten into blue yet?
No?
We don't.
I don't really watch shit with the baby yet.
Yeah, but I don't know when you're supposed to, you know, I.
Know that she's just sort of stared.
Yeah.
I mean like when the Guys child was first born, I was watching the boys okay, holding him, yeah, and I was like, man, these motherfuckers getting their heads melted. But part of me was like, man, he can't like everything I read, and like the doctor's like, they're not their eyesight isn't that developed yet, so they don't know what the fuck is going on.
I'm like, Okay, cool, cool, because there's some pretty wolent shit.
I have watched a lot of X files with my daughter. Oh, and I'm pretty much banking on her not actually seeing any of it.
Yeah, but maybe she is.
Maybe she's going to be really in a fantasy absorbing it.
Yeah, she wants to be the Smoking Man next year.
Miles, Where can people find you? What's work media you've been enjoying? Uh?
Find me on the AT based platforms at Miles of Gray. Also find us on our basketball podcast and also my ny podcast Fortunate Fiance was of Alexandra and check out The Good Thief. If you still haven't heard the true crime show that I hosted, let's see any stuff I like. No, I'm in the same boat.
I have not.
I just tried.
You know, Goosebum started losing me.
I'm not gonna lie. I got a couple more episodes in. I started, I started wavering a little bit. Although there are references to Arsenal, which shout out to the writer whoever decided to make like that kind of be a central plot line for something. But yeah, I'm gonna be honest, I've I've lost a bit of momentum there. I think we're gonna try five Knife Freddy next yeah, or five Nights at Freddy's because the writing, the pieces don't stopped
be like like why is this film so divisive? And I'm like, now i gotta see you, like, yeah, let me know it's also the best, I think, debut for a horror film directed by a woman too made.
It Struye No Shit. You can find me on Twitter at Jack Underscore Brian. A couple of tweets I've been enjoying. First, Andrew Lawrence tweeted, Wow, you're in your sixties and you think the kids these days are out of control? What a unique and interesting opinion to hold. Are you impressed with their work ethic? Holy shit, you aren't very fascinating. Please continue. And then also we got a tweet from rock O T. Thompson, which is Camille Paglia, the feminist academic,
on a show. It was like a talk show. I don't know it.
Was she a traitorous one?
Was she am?
I remembering?
Right?
Was she the one that was like women should stay home?
I don't think so. But the main thing I know her for is she went on a talk show and was like Revenge of the SI, the third Star Wars movie is the most important work of art of the past decade essentially, And that is the sort of like, if you're going to be a strange, out of touch older person, I prefer that like having weird, out of control enthusiasm for something as opposed to just having the
same bullshit like disdain for everything new. Instead focus on the new things and like find a thing that you really fuck with and be wrong about it, but still, you know, I prefer that. So that was rock O. T. Thompson retweeted Camille Pegley on Revenge of the Sith two thousand and five.
Oh yeah, okay, I just looked her up.
She is.
She's accused of being anti feminists often.
Okay, yeah, well she's pro Revenge of the Sith this track.
Yeah, blame the woman for Darth Vader.
That's right. Yeah, that is kind of the plot of that movie, isn't it.
It's perfect for it.
You can find us on Twitter at Daily zeit Geist. We're at the Daily Zeitgeist on Instagram. We have a Facebook fan page on our website daily zeike guys dot com, where we post our episodes and our footnotes when we link off to the information that we talked about today's episode, as well as a song that we think you might enjoy wells, what song do you think people might enjoy?
This is a track by an artist called Sleepy Eyes. It's one word and the track is called so Cold.
In Koreatown and as an Angelina, like you know, I'm.
Like, okay, that's giving me a visual When you listen to it, it sounds like it's like spooky house music but like lo fi uh. And then again like if you've been to Koreatown, there's like a lot of like like half occupied malls and shopping centers shit, So like I don't know, all of this kind of does come together esthetically in my mind when I listen to this. So this is sleepy eyes with so Cold in Koreatown.
All right, We will link off to that in the footnotes. The Daily Zeich Guys is a production to buy Heart Radio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. That's going to do it for us this morning, back this afternoon to tell you what is trending, and we will talk to y'all then bye bye bye