No Car Sundays, Girl Scout Cookie SNAFU 03.13.23

baffo flick for you. That is courtesy of Scoutie Magoo and in honor of the Russians beating Tom Cruise to space in making a film on the International Space Station. Sorry Tom, not fast enough, buddy. Holy shit, you guys. We it's a banger. This this fine Monday in our second seat, co hosting today. So he's promised he's going to be very serious and on topic and just on the rails. We're thrilled to be joined by mister Colt Group got me like himself, the advice King. The poetry

window is open because it's Chris motherfucking Cropt. Hello, I am the co host. Hello, Hello Chris, I am Chris Crofton the co host of the DAILI side guys, and I am very serious and handsome. Yeah, you're wearing a collared shirt and shit, look you look great. Man. You guys are both hoton miles. I know how this works. I gotta be hot. I gotta be hot. It's serious. You also have one of those microphones that like lights up. I have a gaming colors. I have a gaming microphone,

and I've never gamed in my fucking life. It's very stari. I haven't game since Atari. I haven't game since combat, since two cubes shot cubes at each other. Yeah, those are the days. Well, I'm here, I'm here. I'm like so excited to be hosting the Daily's eye guys. This is incredible. I'm climbing the ladder. I'm hoping to be the CEO of iHeartRadio probably shortly. That's the first step, is uh yeah, co hosting the Daily secues in our third seat. Another Tdzy Hall of Famer, brilliant stand up

comedian you've seen on all the TVs and stages. It's Blair Saga the Daily guys. It's great to be back. I miss you guys so much. Oh my goodness, it's so great to have you back? What a what a combo we have? Hey, Blair the booking guys, Yeah, I know what a surprise mister Chris Crofton. Uh, this is exciting. This is I mean, this is We'll see, We'll see how this goes. This is a concoction. Yeah, hell of a hell of a Friday ak Monday Monday. Yes, a lot of Friday energy coming to you on this month.

Brilliant case of the Mondays today, if that's right? Yeah, the Monday scari's people say that, don't they get? Yeah, Sunday scary, Sunday scary? What's Monday? Then the Monday just a case of the Mondays? Oh yeah, I got a case of they just don't even come up with a word. Yeah. And mordant Mondays manic Mondays. That that seemed off to me. My Mondays are never manic. There other Mausoleum Monday, Yeah,

Mausoleum Monday is pretty good. So yeah, Blair is like I saw Blair, I met well, I don't know Blair, well, I just know her from Daily's like guys, but I met her through Johnny Pemberton and uh and um and well at least he told me about her comedy and stuff. Anyway, I just am a big fan and I'm a big fan of us. Any comedy that fucking Blair does about food is all. I mean. I just wish she did whole specials about just food, and that's all about French fries,

shoe string fries. For out. Blair's outrage about shoe string fries is one of my favorite fucking things. I don't think you want to humiliate me. I mean, that's my favorite. And this is the job of the co host, is that you talk about the favorite jokes that the guest has done and then do an impression of them. Is that right? That's usually I'm so flattered I that you even remember that joke from a long time ago, because I can barely remember what I had for breakfast this morning,

so look gratitude. I don't really like shoe shing fries. Um. My thing about them, honestly is that you have to get a whole It's humiliating again because you have to get a whole handful just to get the equivalent of one regular fry. It's like a horse eating Hey, It's like you, It's it's hell, it's horror horrible. Hell. Yeah, I like it also, just because it's like, how often are you hanging around roller rinks or something? You know what I mean? Like, when is this coming up? I

got it wrong, Blair only eats at the finest steakhouses. Okay, you're talking about I do love us. I do love a stackhouse. Yeah, you're talking about amused bushes. I'm so sick of amused bushes. All right, Blair, we're gonna get to know you a little bit better in a moment. First, we're gonna tell our listeners a couple of things we're talking about today, or maybe not. I don't know how deep we're gonna get into the dock, because that's a

it's a chaotic episode. Good we're gonna talk about There's a good Twitter thread that I'm just gonna like read to you. But it's from a climate journalist about how the Netherlands was like this traffic quagmire, like they had just like filled their city with all these like scroads and highways and shit like that. And I think I had always associated the Dutch with like bicycles and windmills and shit, but they like had a brief dalliance with our style of city. The American style of city and

were able to, you know, fight back from that. So I just wanted to It felt like a little bit of good news, So I'm gonna talk about that. The BBC published an article about this Canadian study that said, actually, there was no mental health crisis from the COVID pandemic. Everything's okay, so, which was news to people who are still suffering from a mental health crisis from the COVID pandemic. So we might talk about that. Probably not, Actually what

was the study from. It was from Canada, it was public. The BBC like published a head line that was somewhat misleading because it was like the headline said mental health crisis from COVID pandemic was minimal dash study, and then the study itself is like we only asked rich people in high income European and Asian countries, so this is a very limited sample size. It's harder to it's harder

to get cigars, which is contributing to my angst. That's right, why I haven't been to my favorite steakhouse, haven't had an amous boush is so unamoused right now. I would love to talk about that because I the fact that rich, the fact that people, rich, rich people thought the biggest

part of the pandemic. There was a problem for them as the restaurants needed to be opened, and they did that whole we need to open the restaurants for like the sake of the workers, and all these lies they came up with just because they missed their favorite chef or whatever. They got to say hi to the chef. That's they live. They live for that shit were We might talk about Joe Rogan's new comedy club, mech Comedy Mothership, because that opened in the past week or so. People

were buying tickets for five hundred dollars. So Roseanne bar was one of the early headliners. And I just like to talk about stand up with other stand up comedians and kind of get you guys opinion. How many jokes are you stealing from Rosanne's Fox News set? You know, like it was pretty good. Pronoun that job. That's the punchline of everything. My pronouns are get a job. I only saw that twenty second clip, but I can only know in my heart that that's the punchline to every joked.

The special Yeah, my pronouns are kiss my ass is their favorite thing to say. I mean Ted Cruise had it and then she said it in a stand up special. I know Ted Cruise the famously the most unfunny person alive living on the planet today, except for that time that he tried to dunk a basketball and came like a three feet short. That I was like, wait, is is he a physical comedy genius? What the fuck is happening? But I think that was inadvertence. He just yeah, gave

me a good laugh. Jack. Wow, we might even talk about Girl Scott cookies. Oh yeah, the Mandalorian, all of that, plenty more. But first, Blair, we like to ask our guests what is something from your search history? And you're our guests, so I'm asking what's something from your search history? Okay, Um, can you take Rodeola with well? Beautron was and the answer is no, from what I was able to ascertain. So if anyone wants some scientific advice, you heard it, hear f us. Yeah, we do tend to like to

give out medication. Yeah, from a medical professionals. Yeah, what was the first one? Um, Rodeola? It's from what I understand and adopted jenic herb and you know my favorite social media I really kind of don't go on Twitter and Instagram as much I love TikTok because I think it's really like not that toxic. And so then I find out about all this weird shit on there, and then I have to try and weed through what's not going to kill me, you know. M Rodeola is a

great name, yeah for anything it is. It's got the word rodeo in it. Yeah. It appears to be a supplement, like you know, you get it from places. When I google rodeola and spell it just completely wrong that they're like, do you mean like rodeola Athletic Greens supplements. So that's what we're saying with Athletic Greens. Not to shock anyone here, my job. We just justin just had to edit out thirty seconds of stunt silence. It's something like great Tom right, you know about Great Tom k r A t O.

M oh no, oh no, I don't know what that is. Yeah, it's all over my neighborhood. That's like a Yeah, it's selling it like vape shops, but it's supposed to like it's supposed to be an herb, but it's anyway, I've just found out about it because it's like advertised all over my neighborhood in Tennessee. I live in like a neighborhood that's like mostly where you can get keys made and get Craig Tom. Yeah. Yeah, I've known people who have been into that it's some kind of fake weed

or something like that. It's some kind of like thing where you can get a story, you can get like a throwing star in a Craig Tom. But it's like like a psychoactive sort of like a sleek some people smoke at some people. I was wondering if people knew what it was because it's all over my street, yeah, which just gives you an idea of like, I'm in a really really wealthy neighborhood. Blair, what is something that you think is overrated? Well, Jock, I'm so glad you

asked one day. Oh good, I think it's overrated. All right. I got what I would call a massive bone to pick with these eight ounce plastic water bottles. If you are drinking eight ounces of water, you don't deserve a single use plastic, you little fucking baby. I'm so mad at you. I need at least four of those little loser water bottles to even gently let my palette and then I instantly become like the number one worldwide demon

contributor to landfills against my will. Like those mile long floating trash pottles in the ocean are all because of me at one freaking cannabis buying bottles. Everyone needs to become more ashamed of yourselves. If you can't drink a regular sized water bottle, you shouldn't get any water. None for you. A camel is drinking more than you. Delinquents get a life. You disgust me. If I ever run for office, will be my main campaign in this country. But I will never run for office because I plan

to disappear into the forest in five to seven years. Shit, disappear into the underbrush. I agree with all that those things make me so mad. I agree with I agree with you and I you know, and I think that all those water bottles, man, those little water bottles, I mean, I think I think they're bad. And they're not for sale individually right there. They only come like they only

give them out at like events. It feels like, yeah, or at my m mother's house or other places where there's children, and I'm like, the children shouldn't get water if they can only drink one sip of water. I don't want I don't want them not have water. Yeah, it's too little water. What's the idea with them? Really? What? Why do they make them so small? In my estimation, it's because they think that they're not wasting because people can't handle a regular twelve ounds sixteen ounce standard sized

water bottle. And honestly, I'm just sickened. Yeah that's yeah. I am a thirsty boy, and I like I would need, yeah, at least like four or five of those things just to just to have the equivalent of one regular water bottle, one regular water bottle. Not to mention, everybody misplaces their freaking water bottle all the time, and then then you end up like fifty thousand of those things. And then everybody just goes off into the sunset and makes the

wanders into the forest. Production assistant go clean them up and ruin the world. Is that your ten year plan, Blair? When people ask, are you like, well, ten years and ten years from now, I will have wandered off and disappeared into the forest. I you know, I speak about this all the time openly, and I probably shouldn't, but I am at odds with the career that I love and chose, and also this deep hermit introvers did part of me where you know, I want to live in nature.

I don't want to have social media and I don't know how to do that and also be do what I do. But um, yeah, it would be cool to get like successful enough where I could live in like Colorado or something and then you know, fly in for whatever I have to do. Yeah, yeah, you come a pilot, become one of those rich people who has their own plane and they all have the same pair of baby at or sunglasses. And honestly, I would just take a shrack in central California. That would work for me also,

so we'll see. Yeah, I kind of got to live that during the pandemic and it was pretty great for a while. And then and then and then and then it things. It takes a turn. The next thing, you know, you're fucking don't know what day it is and you're trying to trim your beard when you got no beard, and you just go I would kind of crazy, like you know, like the shining, I mean, the shining is

kind of like I mean, I get crazy. There was nobody there for me to go crazy about I mean, I was by myself, so I couldn't like, you know, threaten anybody, but or go crazy. You know, I went crazy. It was all aimed at me. I just went to bed, you know. If I went too crazy, I went to bed. But but uh, you know, it's just anyway it gets, it gets too much. So yeah, you do need to be able to fly in and out of civilization. Yeah,

that would be good if you could. I wish if I had a helicopter during the pandemic at that cabin, I would have been fine. Hell yeah, that's what's so cool about la is it makes you have the thought at least three to four times a day. Man, I wish I had a helicopter. That's how you know it's a good city. That's true. Yeah, that's totally true. Since I've been in Tennessee, I have not thought about having

a helicopter at all. I've thought about having some basic beauty on the streets, like something besides a fucking payday loan store. But you know, we got snow capped mountains everywhere. Now. I like that a lot, enjoying that of beautiful unexpected vista myself, I have to Pasadena is like incredibly beautiful for the past couple of weeks. It's amazing. No, but I feel this, and maybe you know it's just at

some current moment in my life. But a lot of times I feel that I'm too whole film for this city. Oh yeah, you know you definitely are. Yes, I think I think that you're right. I think like, yeah, you're you're not good people. I've met you in person and you're friendly. That's already like, wait, you're like week two weeks for La, like say hello, say hello and stuff. You're still gonna be like, I'm busy right to some face, Like what do you mean you're busy? You're looking right

at me? Yeah, I mean I've had that happen in Los Angeles, like when I moved to Los Angeles at age forty five, too, Like I already had done stand up here and well, I die whatever. I've done stand up for a long time. But it was like starting over in Los Angeles, you know, and everybody was it was like high school, except I was forty five, right, And you say hello to people right to their face, they just are like stare at you. I mean, it's like and then they're the ones that are doing a

good job. They're like, hello, how are you, and like this guy's never gonna make it. Look at you, Look at them communicate disgusting, horrible vulnerability. Yeah, so it's true. We need to start a stand up scene somewhere nice, yeah, like and like yeah, like Colorado or something. But we got a guy I don't know where because those people, those places are all full of rich people though, who have like run away to have free you know, fuit

quote unquote freedom. So all your jokes have to be about like thank god there's no regulations around here, you know, be like, yeah, this is my kind of stand up What is something you think as underrated? Player Aqualfour, I mean, like, I know people like it, but to me, it is oxygen. I put it like all over my entire place and my entire body, and I just pretty much live my

entire life looking like I'm perpetually covered in amniotic fluid. Yeah, I love it so much, Like I don't know if I'm addicted to it or if it actually is just

some incredible thing that I revere and value. It's like vasiline ish, right, It's like vasiline, except much more viscous and less scented and yeah, yeah, but you were all day every day or is it something you put on like it just really good for your skit Like so you know, having little kids the like they get rashes all the time, there's all sorts of skin problems and we had a dermatologist be like just put aquafour on everything, Like that's truly the answer. It's so when did you

start using it? Like when did it like come up on the radar kind of thing? Like has it always been around? I can't remember when I started. It feels like it's been such a big part of my life. I would say I am like probably viciously addicted to it, but I always am like putting it all over my hands and my lips and my face and you know everything. That's just yeah, it makes me feel safe and nice.

How much are we talking? Like are you leaving like wet aquafore footprints behind as you walk around in your I think that I just like if you look at me at any given time, like I always my face like I just kind of always look a little I always look a little wet. Yeah, I always look like I just got like slightly like misted, you know. Yeah, And that's a lot of people wouldn't prefer to look that way, but for me, it's sort of a standalone preference. And yeah, that's how I just move about the world

looking wet all the time. I like to look a little flinty, a little ashy, little dust like I just came from a place that recently experienced some volcanic activity, or like a little eighteen hundreds dust bully. Yeah, yes, yeah, exactly, used to John Steinbeck Jack. Yeah that's what. Yeah, I'm doing that right now. Look at my fucking head, you guys, if you guys on the listening to this show, because

see what I look like. And they're talking about talking about a guy it looks like he needs aqua for I mean, you see that scar that's from shingles that I got, like lat during the pandemic. I got shingles. I thought that was for I thought that was for some other people. Yeah, I was like, shingles, shingles is for everyone. Yeah, but he sounds like you really turned it all around. I turned it all around. I did,

Like you wouldn't believe how great things are going. I'll tell you about it before I do recommend aquafor like too everyone because it's it's just good. Like I definitely am one of those people who didn't realize how dry every part of me was before I. Well, yeah, that's

men like having to switch to moisturizer. Like I've had to give pep talks to men to get them to wear a moisturizer, like they think it turns them gay or something like they actually certain men are like I'm not wearing moisturizer, like I was raised in Kansas or something, and you're like you look like shit. Yeah, are very odd species, very peculiar. But they've been. Yeah, they've been. I agree, but yeah, like because I've taught I'm not

making that up. I've had to give people talks about moisturizer and some people have just been like no, I'm not gonna do it, Like being a being a heterosexual is all about having dry fucking skin. But also they're all mad, like girls are so fucking judgmental and they won't go out with me just because my face is falling off. Yeah, white guys I think in particular, Yeah, like in cells like don't moisturize, never heard of it? No, they're like, no way you kidding me. I'm not compromising.

I want to wear Aqua four now, that's all I know. Yes, I think you look great. You look way better than me. I mean that's an understatement. I mean you should much much. You know that's obvious, you always do. But I look dry as fuck compared to everyone in this these three zoom windows. Chris, your flattery has bullet me to heights you will never understand. Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it. Where we talking about last time you were on Chris about wet boys versus dry boys. I

don't remember what that was about. I don't know. There wasn't a ka that was wet boys related. But yeah, I think you were saying you were saying you were a dry boy. Yeah, but I don't remember why. I don't remember anything. I forgot my mom's birthday the other day. My mom was like, she turned eighty one, and it was her birthday the next day. And all I've been thinking about is how to make money lately, which is like the worst. So I'm like thinking all the things

running through my head. It's like a roulette wheel of like clean houses, right, ad copy blah blah blah, just all this crap, you know, And so I got so confused that I was over at my mom's house and I was there for some birthday related event and she said, you know what I would like? I would like She said Rio. I would like that band Rio. And I was like that band Rio. I was like, you mean Rio by Duran Duran that song and She's like, no, Rio Rio, and she said I want that. I want Ario.

I want Rio Ario Speedwagon is what she meant. She wanted Ario Speedwagon or Phil Collins records. And she said that to me and I said why, I said, what do you mean? Like, I said, I'm broke right now? What you want me to just go get you some records? For like no reason? She was like Chris, and she was like, it's my birthday. I forgot, and I forgot a couple other times too. Yeah. But in my defense, you know, she raised me. She raised me. Yeah, you need Chris, come on, you need a gotta pick up

your mama. So I'm Phil calling. I got myself together. No, I got myself together. But I didn't get her anything for her for her birthday because I was just I was busy. But I shifted into like, oh of course I understand why you're Okay, that'd be nice. That would be nice if I got you that being a mother job. Jeez, my mother's you know, well she's gotten plenty. All right, let's take a quick break and we'll come back and

talk about carless cities. Oh wow, and we're back. And am I like when you think of a Dutch city or like the Netherlands or Amsterdam or you know, like do you pick what? What? What do you picture? How do you what do you see in your mind's eye? I went there once, so I know, but I just see like rivers and bikes and people walking in those um waffles with powdered sugar on them. But I do think it's a majestic place of beauty where it's like

sort of feels like it's from a children's story. Yeah yeah, yeah, picture like fucking people in exercise clothing, like hot people and exercise clothing clothing, like walking by canals and talking about like you know how much healthcare they have? Yeah, just going to the doctor. B Yeah, Like I think I'm going to go to the dentist today because is not really aching, but it's starting to like I can feel something coming on yeah, do you think you would I should go Hans, And Hans is like, yeah, so

I think it should go. It's free, just drop in at the dentists, maybe maybe go for a two fur and get a get a health check up. Yeah. And then also like windmills, I guess, you know, with like some guy who's like wise inside it or some lady who's wise with like a hump and they was like, don't forget to use moisturized rohodion or whatever that stuff you were saying was rhodesia or whatever rodeola. So yeah, I feel like that is in my brain, and like

I assumed that was always the way it was. And apparently during the like fifties, sixties, seventies, they bought into the American style like city building, and they like bought in heart. They like filled up the like some of the their canals with cement and replaced the canals with like highways, and there's just like these pictures where it's just like four lanes of traffic in the middle of these cities that we now associate with like Mike riding

and wait, so they change that. They like they they removed the cement from the canals. Yeah, yeah what a what and what happened? What what made them come to

some radical decision to change everything? So like among things like you know, it just being a nightmare to live in a city that is just jam packed, Like you walk out your front door in a car whiz by like here yeah yeah yeah, like America, yeah yeah, so about people like children were getting hit by cars all the time, like and you know, the air was like disgusting, but it was like a I guess it was nineteen seventy one, the daughter of In nineteen seventy one, three

thousand people were killed by cars. Five hundred of the the people killed that year where children, And that probably happened today in America, right yeah, I mean they like so today we have three times the number of automobile deaths that they do and like per capita. And the reason for that. So one of the children that was killed was the daughter of a journalist, and he wrote a front page article that with the headlines stopped murdering our children,

and that just like that. It wasn't like everyone was like, yes, you're right, we should stop murdering children. Like it was a long process, but like and there there were other factors like it was there was like gas prices started shooting up because it was the seventies. So I can't imagine a reality like that where gas costs too much. But they were paying like seven dollars right now, right, Yeah,

it's fucking crazy. Yeah, you know what you is here in Tennessee like three fifty yeah, which is still like too much, yeah it is, but like yeah, that's how they keep it low and then they can they jack it up for liberals because liberals can be like, oh, well, you know it's because of this and that and maybe because of supply chains, you know, like but you know, Republicans are like they have to keep it artificially low and like red states because otherwise the Red states will

go crazy because they just like God tells us the gas prices. Yeah, who's the you know, like it's just funny if the gas prices were seven dollars here, because everyone here is a conservative, they would they would their storm the capital again. Yeah, just every day, just keep storm. Jesus names the gas prices. Who is interfering with the with Jesus, Yeah, with gas Jesus. Yeah, it really is

seems to be that simple. The like companies were just like we need to we we like money, and like the pandemic slowed down how much money was coming in, so I wanted to open back up. We are going to charge more money for everything. Like that really seems to be the more distance we get from it, like all the all the gas companies are having just like

record breaking profits. But the reason I like the story is so interesting is because, like it just I assume, I think we like tend to get focused on like the way things are and assume they've always been that way. And like there's this one drawing of like what Amsterdam was supposed to look like, and it looks exactly like

a city in Texas. Like it's just you know being choked by like all these lanes of like highways and stuff like it, or like the b QE like in you know, like parts of New York that are just like all these highway interchanges and shit. But they like were able to back away from that because like that

that article led to a movement. People started like protesting and just like laying down in the streets, and like you know, after gas prices shot up, it became fashionable for like the Prime Minister like urged people to use less energy, change their lifestyles. Announced a series of car free Sundays, which is my favorite idea, Like can we just try a car free Sunday like fucking once in America?

And I feel like people would see that their lives are like livable and it's cool too for your kids to just be able to like run wherever they want and not be worried about getting like run over. Literally that that would never happen. That would never happen, because that would be like you're taking away all right to

drive are ah? Yeah, Like what do you think we're closer to the a car free Sunday or the actual purge happening in the I to the purge, we could have a car free Sunday is when the aliens finally come down and if they say you have to have a car free Sunday. But yeah, there's they introduced really moderate like incremental changes. They're like, guys, just just hear

us out. We're not saying you have to for just saying car free Sundays one day every couple months Sundays, and you can only use your phone one hour a day except for phone calls. Yeah, I'm taking care of those. Would be some badass aliens. The city's also began like passing policies to discourage driving. They like made parking in city center super expensive. They removed some parking spots entirely.

They reduced speed limits, so like there are things that can be done that have worked in the past, Like they turned some areas into car free zones. Like all these things that like seem completely impossible, like we think of the United States possible in this country because this country thinks that cars are like an extension of their fucking like just said, like freedom. You know, it's like

toxic men. I mean I think about toxic masculinity constantly now because of what's happening in Tennessee with the drag show band and and the fuck the abortion band, I mean the state. I mean I just moved back here because I could afford it better, you know. But it's like it's a nightmare. And it's all these fucking men, these alcoholic men who are running things. I mean, like we keep electing alcoholics. We're fucked. Everybody in Tennessee is

an obvious drunk. Every person that every member of the legislature. I mean, that's the culture here. They all fucking drink their heads off. You know what drinking makes you do, It makes you fucking crazy. I used to be an alcoholic. I know you're a nut. You make laws about crazy shits because you think you're I don't know, like a human meteor. Like alcohol makes you grandiose. That's the last thing you want in a leader. I mean, you know,

but I was thinking about cars. You know that that is what Men feel more powerful in a car are than they feel. It's the only place now that they're like, at least I can't get canceled in my car like no one less, you know, I can ride around with my fucking dick out and fucking four wheel drive and all this bullshit, and it's just it's just men are so have been told there are only two ways to be mad or or or madder. I don't even know, you know, like there's two ways a man can be

calm or made. The only time I'm calm is in my truck. And if you try to take away my fucking truck, then I'm gonna go fucking crazy because that's my only other setting. Well, I think, I think I always say this on this show, but like conservatives like their whole thing in their head is that they are against big government. But then now there's all this like insane control coming over in all people's lives. But if they have you had the car thing, it wouldn't even

be about what the issue is about. It would be of taking away that something they can't do. There's no self awareness. But I guess our government with the two were always it's just about winning at this point. It's never actually about what's best for anyone. It's about beating the other party. And aside from that, I also think that there should be when the aliens come down, that

they should ban the politicians from having Twitter. I'm still fucking annoyed at these politicians on Twitter acting like every tweet is the goddamn wrestling promo. Like I missed the old days when they were just fake smiling in public, like freaking Richard Nixon and doing bad shit in private. Like I don't want to see them openly just being nuts every day. It's like terrifying to the Yeah, yeah, it's like the joker. They're all like the joke, you know,

like everyone tries to outjoke or the other one. Well, how about if you know, I don't know, I don't know what they know everything. You know, they just want to outlaw everything, just to out out outlaw their other joker. You know what it's like, you think you're the joke. Girl watched this. Yeah. Richard Nixon, by the way, went

last time there was inflation. He just came on and was like, companies, if companies try to raise prices for the next month, they'll be like under arrest, like something that today would be seen as like the most socialist thing that's ever been done. Yeah, everything, everything is socialist, if it doesn't mean unrelated a little bit. But that star series on Watergate with Julia Roberts was absolutely incredible. Was it really? Yeah? Well, I enjoyed the hell out

of it. Was so good. It was really about Martha, La La, La La. But what I forgot her two other names Lady Bird Johnson. Is that no Martha? Um, I forget the name? Is Julia Roberts play Richard Nixon? Want so bad? I want that kind of casting. I would be so interested in biopics or biopics, which is it? I mean, I can never no Julia Robbers play Martha, Martha the whistle Blower, Martha the whistle Brow. I want to see Samuel Jackson. Yes, I want to see Samuel

Jackson as Amelia Earhart. That's kind of shit I'm talking about. Yeah, I want to see that. I'm tired of them casting who will look like the person. It's so fucking stupid and juvenile, Like, oh, we have to get an actor that looks like that's so dumb. I mean, that's Martha could ever think of in the world. Yeah, like casting in a in a meeting, being like he doesn't look enough, Like I thought we were here for art. But guys,

everybody laughs and jumps out the window. But one thing quickly about aliens, to Blair's point, is like I wish they would come down and bosses around too. And I'm starting to lose faith in the alien And I just want to mention that because they've been buzzing around here for what fifty years or whatever, just I don't believe they're aliens anymore, because if they were aliens, they wouldn't give a fuck. They would show up and get in

our faces. They're not like, oh, they're just investigating. That's horseshit. Why would they ever waste They don't give up? What are they afraid of us, for why wouldn't they just come down and start patting us on the head. I just I don't. I'm I'm I'm a big believer in everything. I can believe in anything. I believe in bigfoot, I

believe in ghosts. I believe in every goddamn thing. But aliens fucking do it already, Like come down here and shoot us with a ray gun, or fucking tell us to have no cars on Sunday, or just get it over with. Stop just buzzing around the sky and drive diving underwater and stuff. Come on, stop diving underwater. And I'm not kidding. People are like, what the fuck are they doing underwater? Or tell him to come up here and kick Mitch McConnell's fucking ass. He fell down, You

can't mean to him. Fuck that. I hope he falls down a million times. Yeah, all right, let's take a quick break. We'll come back. We'll talk about some other stuff, and we're back. And should we talk about girl scout cookies? Should we talk about the Mandalorian? Why wouldn't we talk about girl Scout cookies? I don't know that much about nerd shit, so but I know nothing about it. I know the Mandalorians like a freaking Star Wars thing. Yeah, he's a Boba Fett nothing. But I'm a job obviously.

You know that, Jack, I don't alcoholic. Also, you missed the alcoholic. You were drunk between the release of a Return of the Jedi and the third prequel, Claire. I don't know if you know this about me, but I was an alcoholic from like nineteen eighty four to nineteen I mean so twenty ten. So all the movies that happened in between those times I didn't see because I

was like movies or for Normis. I was like, oh, it's oh, it's hang out of the docks and write poems on you know, old old you know, carved poems into they don't do anything. Yes, get drunk down, you know, I get drunk, ride the rails. Yeah, yeah, you were. I was riding the rails. So I haven't seen like Forrest Gump or anything. You were living, brother, That's what I thought, But it just turns out I missed a bunch of movies. I didn't live. I was not living

at all. I was like, look, I missed a bunch of shit completely sober, so like I'm even there and I miss it. So you missed a lot of shit because you were too cool. You were too cool for it. No. No, like I'm saying, I consume things, I attend things, I watch things, and I like won't remember half of it. It's like very odd, like I'm missing half of my brain or lobottomized or something. What was your main sport volleyball? Surfaing? Well, volleyball is like what I played in college, but yeah,

that was the main one. Do you still surf? Very very rarely. I'm kind of weak and cozy now. I don't really like to be cold or put out or have any sort of you know, physical struggle. Sure, I like to sit down. Okay, that sounds good to me. You got a picture of those of you watching at home? Blair as a picture of a painting of a surfer right behind her on a wall. Very nice painting too. Yeah,

you're right. All right, Then we'll talk about girl Scout cookies. Fine, if you guys do want to talk about the Star Wars I actually don't watch the Star Wars series either, but I am getting into Star Wars. I thought Fandom Thread was a Star Wars movie. If I did enjoy the rides at Disneyland, which I was only able to go on because Matt Rogers like knew how to navigate the Disney app, which again I should have spoken about that instead of little water bottles. I can't believe Disney

has been applified. I mean, how are grandma's and grandpa's get to take their little grandkids there when everything is done by a fucking app? Do you know that fucking out on the same they make. They make the fucking people applying for asylum use apps. And if you can't fucking use an app, this is true, you can't apply for asylum in the United States, and that you don't actually make it so people can't apply for asylums. They

don't have a goddamn foam. Yeah yeah, apps. Come down to your aliens and tell us to stop using apps. I love the They just like have some notes for us. They thrive, and they don't like vaporize anyone or like even ask to speak to our leader. They're just like, we have some suggestions. That's my gentle opinion, Jack, that's

my gentle opinion. I want them, but I have to believe in benevolent forces in order to take one more step each day they do, they do a thing I my benevolent forces cold brew coffee that keeps me taking steps. But there's also nice people. There are nice people around, you know, and we got three of them right here. I really feel like that, and I feel like the whole daily zeitgeis community is really a pretty kind bunch

of people. But here's the thing. Is if if the aliens came down, man, and they could say something like everybody needs to eat more salads or whatever, but they to solidify their point, the thing they can do without giving a shit is they can vaporize Jim Jordan, right. They can just use there. They're like, just as an example, we're not going to vaporize everybody. This guy's a real

piece of shit, so we'll vaporize him. Now if every cane just all you guys have to do is not drive cars on Sunday and we won't vaporize anybody else there. You go, see you guys later. Now we're going back underwater to do whatever the fuck we do down there. All right, are you guys? Girl Scout cookie fans, do you partake then? Mince? I am Yeah. I have actually been a lifelong supporter of the Girl Scouts. That's really why I do it, is because I like to help

young wood him in advance in this country. But yeah, I know all of them intimately, and I usually purchase them from my acting teacher's daughter, and that's sort of where I'm at. Yeah, what's your favorite type? Wait, what's the new name for? You know, the Carmel Delights. Yeah, Carmel Delights. Obviously, that's my favorite one. And it's only a light seven thousand calories for a cookie for a cookie, and what I like to do is eat seven to nine in one sitting and then it feels sick for

three hours after. It's a little nice little ritual that I like to do. Also love a frozen benmint, like the masses. My brother, Peculiar guy, he likes the peanut butter ones growing up, which was a very odd outlier choice peanut butter sandwich cookies or the peanut butter chocolate coated ones because there's just one of the masses. By the way, it gets no one, we're all the masters. You called me a basic bee. I included myself in the number two, the one and two. That's the ones

I prefer. They're the best ones objectively. That's why pop music is spop music, because it's so enjoyable to all. Oh fuck, I lost that, I know you did. Yeah, all right, so caramel delights, I never heard of caramel delights? What do they used to be called? Samoa? Yeah, so I'm out of my league already. I don't know what I'm talking about a professionals talk, all right. Yeah, I want to know one thing. Did Girl Girl Scotts really make them? Yeah, in a in a tree tree in

the forests. No, a company named Little Brownie Bakers. Little Brownie Bakers makes them. They are of course owned by a giant Italian confection company named Farrero, and they have just been fucking up the like availability of like they just haven't been producing as many as are needed required requested by the market. Which this is just a thing that we're seeing repeatedly, where like companies, I don't know, they're they're just like, yeah, sorry, we fucked up. What

do you want to do about it? And because there's not because the world is full of monopolies now and there is no like free market, even like the thing that the right like claims to believe in, like doesn't actually exist in the country, and so it's just these massive companies being like, yeah, we'll give you what we choose to give you and you'll like it or you won't get it, and also like we're going to raise

prices essentially. Yeah, so yeah, Girl Scouts are the Girl Scouts as a community have expressed disappointment with their partner Little Brown Bakers for their like supply chain issues. But

the supply chain issues are bullshit. They're just like, yeah, companies have supply chain issues all the time, and then they fix them if they're good at their job, or like, you know, people who get paid tons of money get fired for not fixing the thing because that's like what your company does is make Girl Scout cookies and you're like, hey, our bad, We're not making Girl Scout cookies this year

as good. Well, the monopoly thing is like yeah, that's why people have to beg for their TV shows back and beg for their favorite kind of corn chips back because there's no other I mean, it's supposed to be like competition. If it was a free market for real, then someone else would make you know, a corn chip like that, But now people have to like be like please do plea please at Doritos. Yeah, you know, look, I don't want to do too many hot takes as I like to do on this podcast, but wow, wow,

it's brought up Doritos not a good chip. Come for me? For me? You think I'm afraid of you. I hear you all out there. I know what you're gonna do. I know a lot about chips. Doritos not a good chip. Doritos are from I'm just because I'm old. I'm like Doritos. I don't even know about any newer chips. People love Doritos. But what's your favorite chip? You know, I like a lot of chips. I partake in a lot of chips.

But if I had to go with one type of chip, obviously I'm gonna go with kettle chips because I like two chips that cause oral injury and harm. I hate that when I get cut by by snacks, that's like very humiliating. See him. Yeah, I love them, and they has such good flavors to like, just really really well executed flavors on the kettle chip. Yeah. So the Girl Scout's introduced a new flavor, Raspberry Rally, and immediately sold out and then what, Who's whose naming these? Somebody's grandma's

naming these fucking things. They really seem very like raspberry rap jacko jack. Are you gonna get those a raspberry rally? If they come back up to stock, I would, Yeah, I would absolutely try them. They are thin mints with instead of mint flavored chocolate cookies like raspberry flavored. Oh that is not what I was imagine right in my head. I would fun with that, actually raspberry chocolate of a

famous incredible combination. I I was thinking that it was gonna be just over the jelly, the raspberry jelly thing, yeah, yeah, or some shortcake bullshit, you know, yeah shortcake with like a little jelly center or some shit. Yeah, hashtag shortcake bullshit, some short I love that. This is my dream. This is my fucking dream, like like what to be with Blair Saki hearing new fucking new takes Takes. This is I'm not kidding. If anyone listening is not checked out,

go on fucking YouTube. And I saw this live lyric Hyperion's time I ever performed it. It was an all food show and it was like one of my favorite things I saw the whole eight years I was in Los Angeles. That's so kind, Thank you, Chris. And there was no second place. Actually, it was the only thing I enjoyed in the whole eight years I was in Los Angeles. And if you are in Los Angeles in

the comedy scene, you'll understand what I'm talking about. So yeah, that was just anyway, if you can find it's kind of like on isn't it on like YouTube and pieces or in like on TikTok or something. I only like a few, very few that should be on Blu Ray. Yeah, in my opinion, Fuck the Mandalorian. I don't even know what the Mandalorian is. Boba fat He wasn't even a main character. Why does he get a show? Get out

of here? I watched the movie that he appears in with my kids and like, didn't I don't really give a fuck about Star Wars that much. So, like I wasn't like telling them about that. I always thought it was weird that everyone was like so into Boba Fett when he like appears on screen for like fifteen seconds. Yeah, and the second he was on screen, they were like, who's the guy in the green? Whoa he's did you? Oh? I love that I actually think my nephew is really

into it as well. And anytimes kids I kind of trust the opinion of kids, Like anytime they really like something, I'm like, maybe I should check it out. It's definitely making me if I was watching Frozen by myself. No, I love those movies. I actually say that so ironically. I think that there's so much heart and vision in all those movies, and they work on them for like seven years, yea they get they can only get like four seconds done in a day. Like I actually think

they're all masterpieces. Where do they go after they're done doing that four seconds? They go back to their apartment at Burbank and like play Russian Roulette. I think it's actually meaningful work that is shaping these children's lives. I think you're right, Blair, And you know what the thing is with me is another problem here is like like as far as my relating to anything, is that as an ex alcoholic and also like a person who was raised by wolves, we have we are I'm one of

four children. We're all majorly old or like you know, adult you know older than you or Jack and and no kids, no kids, four children, no kids, And that's because our parents scared the shit out of us. And it's really true, there's no other reason. And so I have no kids in my life, so if I started working,

we're watching Frozen. It's just I was just imagining myself upstairs in this house that I just moved into a Madison, Tennessee, which is like home of the like food truck slash you know, I don't even you know, it's just food truck slash slash vape store kind of thing. I just imagine myself up in the attic watching like that's that's important in her child work though, And so if you feel called, you should not be a shame that I yeah, Frozen or any of them, that's really nice. And Coco

a favorite I sobbed in theater coat. Yeah. But I was just having this conversation with my therapist yesterday, and I think she accidentally recommended Avatar, the TV series on on Netflix because I was saying how the reality TV that I have been consuming lately um makes me feel spiritually brankrupt because I quit it for a few years

when I started developing a solid meditation practice. I was like, this is toxic, but then you know, I'm sure it has been brought up on this show in the last week, but the vander Pump rules bomb dropped and suddenly I'm all sucked back in and what was I don't know how to get out? Like I've had explained to me why, like what happened? And yeah, you know by people who generally funk with reality TV, but this really, like from an outsider's perspective, I like it feels like, Oh, something's

really going on over there. I'm happy to give you the Reality TV nine to eleven. Like I know we've had the synopsis, but like, what is different about this compared to because it feels like they're so like one of them cheater on the other one with another one, and like that seems to be happening a lot on vander Pump. What in particular about this time kind of sucked you back in? Okay, So this is what I'll say about vander Pump. Of all the Bravo franchises, maybe

one of the weakest. Like I stopped off. I fell off after maybe season two, season three, so I think they were in season season ten. Now, yeah, hadn't thought about it since and there since the relationship basically and they've all One of the oddest things about this show and this cast is they all have had sex with each other, Like they don't seem to sleep with people

outside of the cast. I don't know if they was saying it was like the Habsburg Empire where the Yeah, and this woman that's been cheating, she was engaged to another cast member, and then you know, she was very good friends of the girlfriend, very close friends of the girlfriend of the man she's been having the affair with. And you know, she also is presents as like this very benign, like uncalculated, has no idea what's going on girl, And then it's come out like all these intense calculated

war moves and strategy that been employing a cigarette. Surely she's had all these decoys and symbols and like wild moves that just no one could have anticipated that this bitch is actually just completely different than anyone thought. Yeah, I mean that sounds pretty good. Also, their new bar that's like the whole storyline is like three blocks from my house, Like it's really close and it's very odd. Yeah, I don't know, will you go there? Are you? I

think I will. Yes, I will be going at like five pm because that's still the time, I like, but yeah, yeah, I'm curious. I'm curious are there still people from the cast working there? For real? Like? Can you go see him in action? They don't work there. It's the two guy, one of the cheaters, plus his partner. They own it and like that's their thing is Yeah, so yeah, I've never seen it, So I just I've heard about it.

I've trying to join in. I've heard about it. Yeah, but no I did because I dated someone younger than me. So they told me about vander Pump Rules and they loved Pump Rules and she came to visit me out in California and she wanted to go to the restaurant that was. Did you go? I didn't go because I don't know why, but I would have. I would have gone. I just wouldn't you know, I probably wouldn't have been

as excited. Get your v neck on. Just it's been shocking to see the how uniting it has been around the country and what that means. And yeah, I was just sick all of it. And it's had me in the choke cult. Wow. Just to finish off the girl Scout Cookie story since we started it, they also use palm oil in their cookies, which is an industry that is backed by child slavery or like uses child slavery, and in fact, the palm oil in Girl Scout cookies

can be traced back to child slavery. So that's just wanted to make sure one of the most disturbing things I could have heard today and were the child slaves at least Girl Scouts. Right, One of the wildest things about humanity and being a human is like everything good also has some sort of deeply sickening underbelly. Yeah, I want, like, I feel like it doesn't neat or it shouldn't be like that way by design, but it does. It does

feel like that, especially in the modern world. Well, if everything isn't re election of our internal worlds and we are all the sum of the entire spectrum of good and bad, it does make sense. But oh it's so painful. Yeah. Yeah, that's a huge man, I can't believe you just said that. Like that makes me want to talk for half an hour about that with you, like, you know, because that's like very big. That's a very big I think about

that stuff all the time. Yeah, I mean, like what is inside people and in terms of like, you know, we can take multitudes like a bunch of the multitudes, or you know weasels. Yea, well, I do think about that like almost twenty four hours a day, because now suddenly we have descended and devolved in a world completely devoid of any nuance. And I'm like, it's just not

the truth. It's it's so untruthful. Yeah, social media, man, it's like I gave every goddamn freak in the world, you know, to free reign for all their multitudes to go crazy on. Let let everybody know what they think. And a lot of people are. But it shows you everyone to freak, even someone you thought you loved for years and years and years from actor, rock musician, and you're like, they are the coolest person I've ever seen.

And then you see them tweet and you're like, what the sixth y'all old hero aerial pink let the most unfunny thing I know. Yeah, that's like don't beat your heroes type stuff. I mean, it's it's it took me a long time to understand because I was and so I was so in all musicians, you know, when I was younger, and now I am one and That's why I wanted to be one so badly, just because I thought they were so cool, you know that I couldn't even handle life. But I would have been such a

fanboy it would have been disgusting. So like, but musicians like you can get confused about, like someone like Ryan Adams for example, Like his songs are pretty, you know, and so you figure someone who makes something pretty must be nice, and that's not true. It's like, somebody can be good at making music the same way that somebody can be good at, you know, some other thing that

has people don't connect with good. We're not gonna go like you're not gonna think like the world's greatest stockbroker is gonna be a nice guy. But it turns out the world's greatest musicians not either. They're just two things people do. One is just one that stirs these positive emotions music, you know, so you figure, oh, this person must be nice, but that does not correlate. I've met people who are really good at making music who are just not nice at all, and that screw screws me up.

You know'd be like if you met Leonard Cohen and he was like, fuck you, which I think is totally possible, you know what I mean? And I bet Leonard Cohen also probably you know, you know, probably had sex with everybody in this restaurant if he had one. Blake vander Pop rules, Yeah, Chris, do you look down on musicians who you meet who have a seven point three and below from Pitchfork? Oh yeah, Oh yeah? I have seven

point four album from Pitchfork, No big deal. I have a seven point four tattoo and Monster Energy font on my back. Nice. We'll see it, they see it across fit Well. Blair, It's been such a pleasure having you on the Daily Zeitgeist. Where can people find you? Follow

you all that good stuff? Their pleasure is all mine, Jack and Chris, you know coming back on here has really been like a bomb, a salve to my tired soul where you can find me as always at Blair Sake, B L A. I R. S Occi and I also just I haven't been on for a while, but I just want to thank all the Daily Zey gang who come up and say hi to me on the road. It makes me so happy every time. Two things I

would like to promote. If you have any interest, Chicago, I'll be at the Chicago Comedy Bar March thirty first, in April first, really excited about that, two shows each night. Haven't been to Chicago in a long time. And then I will also be doing an hour in Los Angeles on Thursday twenty seventh at the Lyric Hyperion. And I only do that like once a year, so and it's a pretty small venue, So come out if you'd like.

I would love to see you. And that's all always on my social media and all my link tree and my bio. I wish I could be there. Yeah, everybody listening if it was in Los Angeles that Lyric you to go I'm talking about? Was? Was? I mean? As was that the Lyric Hyperion? Anyway? Anyway, it's a great place to see. You can be rolled like that's really close to the performer. It's really a nice It's like a very nice little venue. Thank you. Ye Is there

a work of media that you've been enjoying? Well? Wait, a work of media? Oh we say that instead of tweet now because so few people are on Twitter? Because oh okay, because yeah, I thought tweet, but then I was like, oh, I'll tell you about a book i'm reading. Were either, oh I'm reading jay Z Jones in the six which just made me think of, um, what we were just talking about about musicians and rocks and I'm like rock stars no one day, They're just like partying

and do it and make it insane music. But oh, I did just see a funny tweet in relation to what we were saying about that article about the pandemic not being harmful to her health. And it was Marsha Belskis and it was she quote tweeted and said, actually, or I watched all six seasons of Glee, even the New York episodes, So it made me laugh. I think that was a bad paraphrase. Sorry. On the one that's good, it was I got it and I enjoyed it. Thank you,

Thank you Jack. I liked it. I liked it too. Chris, Where can people find you? And what is a tweet or work of media you've been enjoying? You can find me at the Crofton Show on Twitter and at on Instagram, and you can listen to my podcast colbru got me like on all the places, and you can go buy my book The Advice King Anthology, and I don't care if you get it from Amazon. Go right ahead, and

get it. It doesn't matter to me. Don't go through Vanderbilt's website because you have to do fifty eight thousand things to get a book. Just buy the fucking have to actually apply to Vanderbilt. And yeah, I mean it's like I just heard from people have to register all kinds of stuff. Nothing against Vanderbilt, but they have an old website. And uh yeah, go get my book and also go listen to my record. Um hello, it's me from twenty eighteen and I got a new one coming

out this year, so that's exciting. That isn't any tweets, you know. Up, I'm looking at the damn what's that. Let's just go with your books. Well, I got one thing I wanted to try. I do poetry window on Twitter, and I want to do one. I'm just just to read one that I think's funny. But I also gonna look, I'm looking for this guy. It's the same thing that happened last time. There's this. First of all, go check out Blair Saki's tweets. That's what I say every time.

I am fan like I am, I am like a big fan And oh that's so kind but not frightening, just regular fighting. No, but that that that you know that is I do this every time I scramble, I can't remember, I can't find the tweets, and then and then I say, go just look at Blair sockings tweets. So I can't find a tweet again. So I'm gonna do it again. But I'm gonna read this poem, which I really like. It's just so stupid. But I do

these poems on Twitter like almost every day. Like I say, poetry, windows open and people give me topics, so this There are more a lot of times they're just jokes like this one. Someone sent me the topic back in the Saddle and I said, what Steven Tyler screams into his sleep appne a mouthpiece, which I which, I just like that one. And that's for the older crowd. I would have done something younger, but I don't know what the fucking Mandalorian is. Yeah, that's what you're gonna have to

google right after. We were gonna shit out of it, and I'm gonna watch Frozen. I'm gonna cry all by myself healthy. I bet you are right. I'm not kidding, and I'm gonna put that shit on my face what's it called again? Aqua? I'm gonna be covered in aquafore watching Frozen. If anyone needs me, hold my calls. Tweet I've been enjoying Alex Turnteine for what tweeted I hate small talk? Oh okay, what are your thoughts on the Louisiana purchase? I saw that that was such a funny one. Yeah,

you're right, that was a good one. I love that one. People who say they hate small talk, like I feel like everybody does, and we still do it like I don't anyway. My therapist, though, you can't. Like I used to try and trauma bond and be like people would be like, hey, how's the weather, and I'd be like, all, I had a bad childhood. You're not supposed to do that either. We're supposed to be somewhere in the middle. Yeah,

ask him about the Louisiana purchase. Yeah, there's something in the middle, something neutral, something that neither one of you knows what it is. There you go. You can find me on Twitter at Jack Underscore O'Brian. You can find us on Twitter at Daily Zeitgeist. We're at the Daily Zekegeist on Instagram, we have a fan page on a website, daily zeitgeis dot com, where we post our episodes and our footnotes, where we link off to the information that we talked about in today's episode, as well as a

song that we think you might enjoy. Superproducer Justin is there a song but you think people might enjoy? Well, it's been a rainy day and it looks like a rainy rest of the weekend for la, so to fit the mood, I'm suggesting this dark, cynthy industrial track with a huge sound to it. I first found this song a few years ago while I was watching a trailer for a defunct video game that got marred and scandal and never actually released. I don't think I'm not going

to get into it, but this track is amazing. It's called Acid Rain by Lorn and you can find that song in the footnotes footnotes. Also, the article that I was talking about about the like change in the Netherlands is from a thread by Michael Thomas. Will link off to that tweet and the footnotes. All right. The Daily zeit Geis is a production of iHeartRadio from more podcast from i Heeartradio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or

wherever fine podcasts are given away for free. That is going to do it for us this morning, back this afternoon to tell you what is trending and we will talk to you all then. Bye bye bye