Hello the Internet, and welcome to Joe Biden Trend's seapap machine.
I am Jack.
That is Miles and these are some of the things that are trending. The head of Cardier, who has a seven point five billion dollar fortune, says that he's losing sleep. Where we're going to talk about losing sleep a lot in this episode. He's losing sleep because of the prospect of the poor rising up and consuming him.
Presumably you six son of a bitch. This guy also has like a ton of hot takes. He's like as a South African like Jewelry Overlord, diamond magnate. I just do love the idea of like that his altruism is
only coming from a place of self preservation, right. He's like, yeah, man, robots could create quote structural unemployment, then they're gonna blame us, and then the poor people will kill us, right, I mean yeah, right now we're at the energy where people are so ubrating when billionaires die, like like the dude who like recently passed away and was like, oh, time to post the crap memes. But yeah, I don't know, this is must be scary for you to I don't feel so bad for him. Yeah. Yeah.
He's specifically worried about robots replacing workers and the poor rising up to bring down the rich. And he said it all out loud, all right, because it's just they don't talk to anyone who is not also a billionaire or paid by them to agree with them, right, and so they We'll just continue to get a window into how they talk, how they think, and we salute you, a multi billionaire luxury jewelry company owner.
I wonder because that guy, the person I'm thinking of, is James Crown, who's the former director of JP Morgan. And like when he died like in a like a motorcycle accident on his birthday or some shit, and asspen people were like, yeah, all right, whatever, good riddance, And I wonder that shook the billionaire world. They're like, he died on his birthday and like the poor people were like.
Good yeah, oh no, Johann Rupert, is this man's name? Is that a conference? I mean, maybe this is the only way to get through. He was speaking at the Financial Times Business of Luxury Summit in Monico, so he knew his audience.
Fucking Monico, the Monico. Can you can get to Monaco? But do you have money to stay in Monaco? That's right, is the question. Yeah, well, I like I said, told his fellow elite. Yeah. True. He can't sleep, can't sleep at the thought of social upheaval he thinks is imminent.
I mean maybe some of me is like, yeah, maybe maybe they'll do something. But the other thing they'll do is invest in more police. Yeah, I'm gonna say, search screen technology.
Yeah, those robots will We'll just make the robots kill them. Told the conference a beare in mind.
When the poor rise up, the middle classes won't want to buy lugury goods for fear of exposing their wealth. So, I mean he's thought this through at a deep level.
Yeah, he said, how is society going to cope with it? The hatred quote, we are destroying the middle classes and it will affect us. It's unfair. So that's what keeps me awake. The unfairness.
No, no, no, the fact that it could eventually, like me, generations from now, have a negative impact on people who are related to me. Yeah, or at least the security guards I pay to protect me. I just would feel sorry for them if they got hurt trying.
As then that would be unfair. And that would be your job.
So here is one billionaire person who still is afraid for their life, whereas a lot of them seem like they're just like, for my birthday, I've decided to break the land speed record on a Harley right, all right, So there is a bicycle designed. It's kind of somewhere between a bit and this person like he actually designed it. It's a real less bicycle, and it's being covered as it's breaking all the rules and turning heads.
And that is because it is stupid, right, Like, it's because you know, bicycles are wonderful items because they are so you know, efficient in transferring our energy. Yes, and this thing has like the wheels the size of little lego pieces and the way the chain set up. You're like, I don't know if this is actually going to return your investment of energetic output in terms of you being able to move forward. Yeah.
You look at the design and you're like, oh, okay, so something I must be missing something, And then you see it in action and you realize you are missing nothing. It is exactly as inefficient as you expect it to be. There is a reason that it appears to be Like what when he is displaying how it works. He is operating on what appears to be the flattest piece of pavement ever constructed. Like it's just it's like fake grass
and the flattest piece of pavement ever. And yeah, the way it works is so it's like two tank treads that are like meeting the ground at weird oblique angles, and you just like are cranking on a treadmill. You're basically like powering a treadmill.
It's I mean, I get it. I think because this person designs it looks like always designing weird wonky bike designs, like square wheels and shit. So I get where you're coming from. But yeah, it's just like one of those things. When you look at it, you're like, come on, buddy, I get I mean, I know what you're doing.
Here in a universe where people are like deathly allergic to circles, I feel like this makes sense. But here I don't see the need for it other than that it's turning heads. It feels like it would be the purview of people who go to the beach with like a parrot or a snake around their neck.
Oh, like the most histrionic person in your town.
Yeah, they don't have anything to say, but they would like you to look at them and engage.
With them and be like, Hey, what's that? Oh, what's this? Yeah, this is the world's shiest bricycle A bike.
For lizard people like to walk around with their their pets in public on their shoulders.
Do you think if you're one of those people and like, you're not fIF eight miles Okay, I'm sorry Jack. When you're out there, do you always charge people to take pictures with your Boa constrictor? Or do you see it as a community service. That's why you're out there to bring joy. And you wouldn't dare take a penny of your fellows and give this away for free, man? So I'm telling you man, I'm like, you're going to get more good will if you just did it for free charge to fifteen bucks.
Nah, then they don't value you as much as they should.
And also, Jack, I don't know if that's a Boa constrictor. It looks like a garden snake.
It's really tiny and it hasn't moved in four hours.
Don't get too close to this Boa constructor. It's starting to smell. It's all floppy, all right. We have a new Superman. Miles really don't even know why I said it like that. I guess we've be talking about Loomy too much. Who is it? Jack? Who is the new super Bowl? You know who it is?
It's David Korran sweat Koran's wet corns.
Wow, Who's head?
So you might suspect he is British from that name, but he is from Philly. And okay, did you watch We Own the City.
First two episodes?
Okay, so do you remember there was a sting operation like kind of a slow Burn investigation happening with a guy who had a beard.
Oh yeah, I'm looking at this. Oh yes, yes, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, a little little too handsome to be a Baltimore cop. But they like put him in baggy T shirts and sweatpants to be like, oh yeah that guy. Okay, And when you see him without a beard, he is basically indistinguishable from Henry Cavill.
So the idea of like we.
Make these movies until the stars get too expensive or bored with it, and then replace them. This is the most like one to one where they're just like, yeah, this is this is we just found a replica.
There's like yeah, he's God. I mean, it's so funny how no one can get past the Christopher Reeves aesthetic of Superman. Yeah you know what I mean, Like because even when they talk about Nick Cage, like I know that's been his passion project since he was like born, because has been to play Superman coin. But I can just look at him like, it ain't gonna be you, bro, because you ain't Reeves enough, and now you're just getting clones.
They gotta like down the road on that, or at least enough to take those pictures that everyone got everyone's hopes up. But like the idea of a Superman who is interesting or has a personality or has like human defects and like challenges, like right, people have had that idea.
It seems to be what makes superhero movies interesting. And yet there's just something about Superman where they're just like, yeah, that's not what people are looking for, and they always come back to just the most handsomest guy with brown hair and blue eyes that you can find, right, So yeah, I don't know, I mean, it just try something different.
Man, Like Superman's so fucking dry as like a superhero where it's like, man, he don't got problems. He's an orphan, yeah, and I mean he like was a misfit his whole life, but he's great now I got to see here and he's invincible. I'm like, then that's not interesting. Like give him like a debilitating porn addiction or something.
Yeah. Yeah, there was like at one point, I think, like towards the end of Mad Men, people were like talking about John Hans maybe getting cast a Superman, and it's like kind of over the hill Superman who presumably suffers from like a drinking problem or like a sex addiction. I feel like that's implied by the John hammness of it all. Oh yeah, but then yeah, that never went anywhere.
There is actually supposedly a Black Superman movie in the works, written by Tana Hesse Coats and produced by JJ Abrams that, according to James Gunn, the new like co CEO of DC is like still in the air, still in developments, and if it happens, it would be a elsewhere tail separate from the DC continuity like Joker, So it would be one of the good ones that we allowed to happen.
Fucking so stupid Black Superman would blow the fuck up anything not Christopher Reeves looking Superman would blow Yeah, would do really well. I would just I'm like, yeah, for that great. But they're like, no, what if we got a guy who was a photo copy of Brandon Routh or whoever that first super Mann of Steel guy was back in the odds?
Uh, well, he is from Philadelphia, So what if like the one piece of texture they allow is just Superman has like a thick Philly accent.
That would be kind of fun. Yo, yo, Lands, Like, what the fuck lewis?
Yeah?
Lo, But he's also a gambling addict, so he's like using like telekinesis to like help the Eagles win and shit, so he can make money on the SEC. All right, let's take a quick break and we'll come back with more news.
And we're back, and people began to notice that Joe Biden has been shown up with indentse in his face that seemed to suggest he had begun eating like out of a feedbag. Possibly and in fact it is that he has begun using a seapap machine. You know, he's just a man of the people sleeping with a seapap machine. He's got apnea, and the White House says after indentations from straps were seen on both sides of his face Wednesday morning, that he has recently begun using the seapap machine.
Since two thousand and eight, the President has disclosed his history with sleep apnea and thorough medical reports and so he it's it is kind of wild that they're just like, so, yeah, he used a fucking seapap machine last night.
Guys, like, what do you what do you want? What do you want? It means he's dying. Well, then didn't he also call it the I He said Putin's losing the Iraq War.
Yeah, so he keeps doing the like multiple times in the past twenty four hours, has confused Iraq with Ukraine, which I did.
It.
It's a great comparison to make for some deep trenchant analysis of America's culpability in the current world order. And like the double standard of Russia. You know, everyone's like, we shouldn't even allow Russians in the country, Like, shouldn't allow the Russians to compete in the Olympics because they unilaterally invaded Ukraine on false evidence and false pretenses.
But nobody's bringing up.
The Iraq War except Joe Biden, who he's like, there's something stewing down down there.
Is really fucking up in Iraq. I'll tell you that. What I was talking to Mikyle, I said, Buddy, man, come off it, Jack, Yeah, I don't know. I mean, look, this is I don't know, y'all. This is what happens when you you discourage people from trying to primary the president. And you got old time traveler McGee over here.
So our only options would be like, if he isn't medically up not saying that this is disqualifying, sure of course not. If he wasn't, the options would be or it would basically be Kamala versus RFK junior.
If you're looking purely just at the Democratic primary, and who I mean Mary Ann Williamson, right, I mean that's
why I think I think more. I mean, we're I don't think we're gonna see much mainstream media attention on Cornell West campaign, right, Like that's I think that's what That's what scares so many big d Democrats is when progressives are like, well, well, hold on a second, this guy just dangles progressive politics in front of people until election day, and another person is like living it and it's funny to see on Twitter like when people start
talking about Cornell West, like you're gonna make Trump win, right, And it's like you actually need to understand what the stakes are for different people. Maybe for the life that
you live, you're very comfortable with the status quo. For other people, the status quo is killing them, so there might not be much of a difference, and the only alternative is to try and seek someone out who's actually trying to address these like existential threats, you know, in real time, rather than like, I mean that's for something later on. And by that, I mean when I'm out of office and then you ask me why I didn't
do it. I said I didn't have enough time. Yeah, but yeah, that's where we're at.
And then malaria is trending. Malaria is circulating again in the US this summer. Five mil local cases have been diagnosed in Florida and Texas. It is fairly easy to prevent and treat, but it also you know, that's assuming there's not a huge widespread outbreak, and it's not typically on the radar of doctors in the US, so they're issuing this as like a thing to the doctors being like, hey, this is now something you have to take into.
Account if you're seeing an outbreak of fevers in the US unexplained fevers. Sorry, it's not nineteen fifty the year before the US declared malaria. No more like it could be malaria.
Yeah, it was declared eradicated from the US shores in nineteen fifty one. There was a small outbreak I think in the nineties and like one example, but it seems like it's now possible again.
Yeah, which is weird. Like, all right, folks, be on the lookout for malaria.
So Ike mascots are like the Ike mascots were trending in a couple of places over the past couple of weeks. There's a new mascot. Canada has an Ike mascot which looks like a cross between like a Playmobile toy and slender Man.
Yeah, it's got play play I said, Playboy beil, playmobile hair, Playboy bilt, the slender Man face.
Yeah, and for sure Playmobile CARDI is that anything? All right, let's write it down and then they're asking people to like name the character and it's fun. It's just what it's like, very minimalist smiley face on a weird, kind of vague humanoid shape. I also noticed people were like, it's cursed monstrosity. They're also describing it as reminiscent of a sleep paralysis demon. Yeah, which is a phrase I've
just been seeing pop up all over the place. So, you know, just in our mission to chart the national shared unconsciousness. M hmm, it seems like a lot of people are suffering from sleep paralysis and reverencing sleep paralysis demons of late.
Yeah, it's I mean, it's like funny you just starts Twitter for just sleep paralysis demon to see it come up in so many different ways. It's yeah, the new shorthand for.
I always associated that with like a dark, shadowy figure like sleep paralysis demon, Like.
Yeah, but I guess it's all Look, it's it's whatever.
Appears in your room when you can't move and you're actually asleep but feel like you're not one person.
Sleep Prolysses demon is another multinational furniture company's mascot and can that's right.
And then there's also the Blajaj, which is all the shark. Yeah, the shark, very popular shark stuffy toy in Japan and full sized Blajaj appears in commercials wearing a suit sort of like Jack and Jack in the Box but much cooler and apparently Blajaj is a LGBTQ icon and is huge in the trans community thanks to yours worth of memes. It's like etymology. It's like no one knows exactly how this happened. You can't trace it to the first photograph.
But the character isn't like overtly marketed with a gendered backstory.
Like Tito Ball the Swedish testicle meatball. They do have one that.
Yeah, they do, just have a what looks like a deep red testicle I guess as a reference to their meatball. But also his coloring is similar to that of the trans flag.
So got to find them everywhere. Yeah, got our icons all around. Tito Ball, blaha, sleep paralysis demon, take your pick. Lufzig a big bad wolf toy that people. It's like an Ikea character.
It was just like a stuffy that they sold near the register, and because so many people shop at Ikea, it became like somewhat iconic. But it became a symbol of the Hong Kong protest movement a decade ago after one was thrown at the Chief Executive c Y Lung during a town hall meeting and suddenly it like blew up in popularity.
Yeah, folks, Yeah, like that's who the billionaires need to be watching out for. Yeah, yea mascots because they were the people around radical causes.
We're all gonna rally around the Canadian sleep paralysis demon and take down all right, Well, those are some of the things that are trending on this Wednesday afternoon. We are back tomorrow with a whole ass episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to y'all tomorrow, bite by bite