The Crate and Crowbar - podcast cover

The Crate and Crowbar

The Crate and Crowbarcrateandcrowbar.com
A group of friends who work in the games industry meet up once a week to talk about PC games over a drink. “Off-the-cuff” is a polite way to say “unprofessional”, right?

Episodes

Episode 213: Auto Camel, Psychic Eagle

Chris, Tom F and John Roberts discuss Spelunky 2, Dota 2’s update, Wolfenstein II, Divinity: Original Sin, Assassin’s Creed: Origins, and other oranges besides. Plus: the faulty UX of life, dancemat Tinder, internet things forever lost to time, and diminishing takeout returns. Spelunky 2 has been announced! Here’s the trailer. Dota 2 has been updated! [...]

Nov 03, 20172 hr 14 min

Episode 212: Amazing Raids That Don’t Exist

Tom, Chris and Tom discuss Steam’s new curator system, Wolfenstein II, Destiny 2, and Opus Magnum. Plus: an episode of 999 featuring a rogue X-Wing CD-ROM, the New Game+ of your life, and the machinations of the hated foe, Alex Wiltshire. The Halloween Steam Sale is on. Stories Untold is good, and cheap! Here’s Valve’s [...]

Oct 27, 20173 hr 48 min

Episode 211: An Etch A Sketch’s Dream Of Itself

Chris, Pip and Tom discuss the new Zachtronics game, the closure of Visceral, A Mortician’s Tale, Shadow of War, and more. Plus: Babe Runner: Pig In The City, the midpoint between The Raid and Watership Down, hot cauliflower facts, inadvisable waffle digressions, and some videogame questions maybe? Jury’s out on that one. Here’s the trailer [...]

Oct 20, 20173 hr 46 min

Episode 210: It’s Captain Flippin’ Good

Chris, Tom and Tom discuss the 10 year anniversary of The Orange Box, Universal Paperclips, Middle-earth (TM) Shadow of War, and EVE Valkyrie: Warzone. Plus: explaining your game in fifty words or less, Chris’ worst idea, games fit for an Oxbridge application, rum, and more. The Orange Box is 10 years old this week! Here’s [...]

Oct 13, 20172 hr 27 min

Episode 209: Orange In Story

Chris and the Toms discuss Assassin’s Creed: Oranges, Divinity: Oranges Sin 2, and the hunt for a missing crate of origins. Also: Cuphead’s accessibility, Skaven’s terrifying ‘shitty rats anywhere’ power in Total War: Warhammer 2, and Battlegrounds’ Chinese review bomb. Player Unknown’s Battlegrounds has had 70,000 Steam reviews in the last 30 days and its [...]

Oct 06, 20173 hr 46 min

Episode 208: Sid Meier Is Not A Pirate

Pip, Tom F, and some refreshing glasses of gin and tonic assemble to reflect upon the release of Heat Signature before moving on to other hip and happening PC games of the moment, including: XCOM 2: War of the Chosen and PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds. Also! Your questions regarding community controversies and one of like a million [...]

Sep 29, 20172 hr 1 min

Episode 207: ANY% ALL DOGS NO PEOPLE

Tom, Chris and Tom gather on the eve of Heat Signature’s release to talk Divinity: Original Sin 2, which they haven’t actually played, and Dishonored: Death of the Outsider, which they have. Plus: character name conventions, systems with character, the secrets of a Twitter drafts folder, and the number of action points consumed by making [...]

Sep 22, 20172 hr 1 min

Episode 206: Promoted To Death

Chris, Tom, Pip and Tom discuss Heat Signature’s impending release, FUGL, XCOM 2, Tooth and Tail, and loads of questions. Plus: top Chris Pip tips, one-handed Final Fantasy, the problem of being both extremely fast and extremely poisoned, and bums. Again. Find out more about Heat Signature, the game what Tom done, here. Here’s a [...]

Sep 15, 20173 hr 33 min

Episode 205: An Ever Shrinking Park

Chris and Pip convene in a post-Tom world to discuss PUBG’s popularity, new Life is Strange, and Absolver. Also Chris says he won’t talk about Destiny 2, and then does. We’ve skipped the questions section this week due to our (temporarily) reduced headcount – we’d like to dig into them properly when we’ve got at [...]

Sep 08, 20172 hr 32 min

Episode 204: Slug In A Hurricane

Notorious hobbledehoys Pip, Tom F and Tom S gather to discuss gaming matters of the day, including the plot of Half-Life 2: Episode 3, XCOM 2: War of the Chosen, Ken Follett’s The Pillars of the Earth, Destiny 2, Dead Cells and bums. Plus! Your questions and finest game name substitutions. Show notes: BIG NEWS [...]

Sep 02, 20172 hr 58 min

Episode 203: Off-Tanking The Teen Snake

Chris, Tom F and returning guest John Roberts talk Gamescom news, Technomancers, West of Loathing, snakes and Flotillas. Here’s the Age of Empires IV trailer. Also, Jurassic Thingy. Overwatch’s latest short, which Chris doesn’t like, the tiresome arsehole. Here’s that interview where EA’s Patrick Soderlund talks about the possibility of Mass Effect coming back. John’s [...]

Aug 25, 20172 hr 11 min

Episode 202: Shoot Toast At My Face, Table Neighbour

Pip, Chris and Tom discuss No Man’s Sky’s latest update, 868-HACK’s latest expansion, and The Long Dark’s latest aurorae. Plus middle names, questions, and wat. Here are some of those XCOM 2 propaganda posters. Snake people? Don’t fuck them. Here’s the Prey demo. Also, West of Loathing. Everybody’s been playing that No Man’s Sky. Tom’s [...]

Aug 18, 20172 hr 22 min

Episode 201: The Seven Gun And Knife People You’ll Meet In Heaven

Chris, Tom and Tom discuss Artifact, the Dota 2 International, Hellblade, Shadow Tactics, The Shrouded Isle, Lawbreakers and more. Please note: we discuss the recent Hellblade debate, including some mechanical spoilers, from around the 28 minute mark to the 49 minute mark. After that, there’s a less-potentially-spoilery chat about the game itself. Here’s the announcement [...]

Aug 11, 20173 hr 51 min

Episode 200: You Think I’m A Lake, But I’m Just A Bunch More Sand

Pip, Chris, Tom and Tom celebrate 200 episodes the only way they know how: by doing another episode. Featuring The Long Dark, Tacoma, ducks, rum and time. Plus: looking forward to Guild Wars 2’s next expansion, the future of esports and VR and dancing and stuff as experienced at ChinaJoy, hastily abandoned segue ambitions, meditations [...]

Aug 04, 20173 hr 20 min

Episode 199: The Sum of Everything is Quern

Two Toms and a Pip gather to discuss the death of everything, Unity’s rep, Pyre, Walden, and QUERN. Also, mad clunking noises! We had to record on a table with the old mic this week, so apologies for the dip in sound quality. Normal services will resume shortly. Show notes: Contrary to what we thought on [...]

Jul 29, 20172 hr 6 min

Episode 198: Crying On The Shoulder Of A Ryan

Chris and Tom S are joined by PC Gamer editor-in-chief Samuel Roberts to discuss The Sexy Brutale, GTA Online and open world co-op. Then, suddenly, Pip! Plus: CBeebies on fire near the Sennheiser Gate, pulling out of Everything, old Dota grudges, the mysteries of the Sweaty Brutale, and an encounter with Kelvin in The David [...]

Jul 21, 20172 hr 49 min

Episode 197: Turd Act Plort Twist

Pip, Tom and Chris discuss VR, Hollow Knight, Slime Rancher, a little PUBG, esports, whether or not we should have more wine, and puns. Plus: quadges from quadges, bodily censure, the 7/10 fallacy, and loads more. Be summoned by the hot takes bell, be repelled by the heady tang of fresh plort. when you go [...]

Jul 14, 20173 hr 3 min

Episode 196: Ten Thousand Agility To France

Chris, Tom F and John R discuss Tyranny, Zombie Night Terror, Diablo III, Everspace, and so on. Also: a fate worse than Bejewelled Infinite, things gravity can’t do, and a briefcase full of snakes. New Overwatch man, Doomfist. Evil Genius 2 is being worked on by Rebellion. The first one was made by Elixir. John’s [...]

Jul 07, 20172 hr 6 min

Episode 195: Adjusted Columbo’s Rubberbanding Radius

Chris, Tom, Tom and secret Pip discuss Steam sales, Diablo III’s Necromancer, PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds, and more. Plus: meditations on the question of review-bombing, how the radishes are doing, assorted crime, and an extended discussion of Poirot for some reason. Looks like meat’s back on the prix fixe, boys. Diablo III got its Necromancer this week. [...]

Jun 30, 20173 hr 35 min

Episode 194: If All You Have Is A Bone Store, Every Problem Looks Like An Ossuary

Pip, Tom, Chris and Tom discuss mod drama, patch note etiquette, Dead Cells, Tekken 7, Nex Machina, and Dota 2’s co-op update. Plus: mangled metaphor, the worst names for things, time management, allergies, and more. Apologies for the dip in sound quality this episode: as we explain at the beginning, Britain’s heat wave rendered our [...]

Jun 23, 20172 hr

Episode 193: So Much For The Tolerant Elf

Tom, Chris and Tom talk their way through a gigantic pile of E3 announcements, including expansions for Dishonored 2 and XCOM 2, Shadow of War, and assorted pirates. Plus loads more: see the show notes below for a full list of games and their associated trailers. Far Cry 5: footage and a very silly picture [...]

Jun 16, 20173 hr 53 min

Episode 192: Ludomancers of Batman City

Chris, Tom F and Alex discuss the future of XCOM 2, the history of Andromeda, Worlds Adrift, Dead Cells, Dawn of War III, Battlegrounds, and more. Plus: methods of movement, the Warcraft movie, micro but perhaps too much, secret pantalons. Here’s the teaser image for Firaxis’ to-be-announced XCOM 2 thing. Kotaku’s article about Mass Effect: [...]

Jun 09, 20173 hr 37 min

Episode 191: Flamingos’ Uranium Legs

Chris, Pip and the Toms cannot resist chiming in on Far Cry 5 one last time, but move swiftly on to Tom S’s impressions of Destiny 2 on PC, Tom F’s of Caveblazers and Legacy of the Void, and Chris and Pip’s differing feelings on the much-changed Dota 2. We hadn’t seen the actual trailer [...]

Jun 01, 20172 hr 14 min

Prey: A Lock-In at The Crate and Crowbar

Just in time for the weekend! Chris, Tom F and John R discuss the successes and failings of Arkane’s beautifully-designed sci-fi horror being-a-cup simulator. Needless to say, this one-off special episode is completely rammed with spoilers from the outset. If you haven’t played Prey all the way through to the end – and past the [...]

May 26, 20172 hr 11 min

Episode 190: You Can Extrude A Beard

Chris, Tom F and Tokyo 42 creators Sean and Maciek discuss Tokyo 42, game secrets, Far Cry 5, Offworld Trading Company, Forts, Edith Finch and loads more. As is said at the beginning of this episode, we hit our first serious technical problems while recording this week. As such there are a few gaps and [...]

May 26, 20172 hr 27 min

Episode 189: And You Can Have The Hated Holiday Elf

Chris, Tom F, Pip and a deck of Lego cards discuss Hanano, puzzle game design, Endless Space 2, pre-pre-E3 news, and more. Plus: a bumper helping of grudges, Chris’ flimsy manifesto, the fallacy of rock-paper-scissors, the duality of Linux as both man and penguin. In which Ubisoft announce a series of logos, some of which [...]

May 19, 20173 hr 46 min

Episode 188: West, Aft, South And Down

Chris, Tom F, Tom S, and bonus Pip discuss Prey! Lots of Prey. Lots o’ Prey. Also: Risk of Rain, Assassin’s Creed and Far Cry rumours, gimbal lock, and fascinating regional WASD. Give that toaster an extension cable. Hopoo Games’ Risk of Rain 2 translates a 2D roguelike to all three dimensions. Assassin’s Creed: Origins. [...]

May 12, 20172 hr 14 min

Episode 187: The Contenxt of Bundvr Chegg

Chris, Tom F, Alex and a modicum of Pip discuss Prey, Exo One, Dawn of War III, and What Remains of Edith Finch. Two hours of actual podcast: one bonus hour that we will never speak of again. Also: increasingly poor startup pitches, missing swans, goblins, pro StarCraft, walking simulator naming conventions, too much rum, [...]

May 05, 20173 hr 49 min

Episode 186: Big Crab Claw, Little Crab Claw, Cardboard Box

Chris, Tom S and Tom F discuss Phoenix Point, Vanquish, N++, The Signal From Tolva, Elite Dangerous and more. Then: a wild Pip appears? Plus: Destiny on PC! Dice in the wrong places! Penguins! Games on laptops! Plugs! Lambrini! Buckets! Ending! Every! Word! With! An! Exclamation! Mark! Phoenix Point is Julian Gollop’s new game, or [...]

Apr 28, 20172 hr 6 min

Episode 185: In The Passion Pond At Red Tide

Chris, Tom, Pip and returning guest Tim Wicksteed discuss Megaquarium, Golf For Workgroups, Battlefront 2 and much more. Plus: returning to Hearthstone, a little Dota 2, Unexplored, Loot Rascals, Hackmud, and your questions. Tim’s game is Megaquarium. It’s about a mega aquarium. His previous game was Big Pharma. It’s not about a big farmer. Behond [...]

Apr 21, 20173 hr 18 min