This week, we stroke our chins and discuss Cheetos etiquette, Anthony's trip to the Image Expo, Star Wars has-beens, baby Wolverine (that is NOT Wolverine), real-life bar fights that aren't nearly as cool as the ones in the movies, Ryan's fighting techniques, Max vs. a human dinosaur, winter underwear, our least-favorite Internet slang, the pitfalls of computer voice recognition, and terrible listener email. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville....
Mar 02, 2012•55 min
This week, Anthony talks about how much he hates fun, we explain exactly why the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are the worst ninjas on the planet, Scott and Max discuss their weekend adventures with the Chinese mafia, half the cast pulls knives on the other half, we realize that "the South" is everywhere, some raccoons get trolled IRL, we tell you where NOT to go on a first date, and we wrap up with crack whores and babies. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and M...
Feb 24, 2012•1 hr 7 min
This week on the Comedy Button, Max plays Santa Claus, Anthony hates on dumb holidays, Scott reviews his birthday gift, Ryan relates his excellent Valentine's Day adventure, we relive our '90s fashion nightmares, Brian admits to seeing Star Wars in 3D, we reminisce about our hometowns (and someone named Scary Gary), we tell you what to drink on your 21st birthday, Brian brings a most horrid makeshift projectile weapon to light, and we realize that old video games suck. Starring Scott Bromley, Br...
Feb 17, 2012•1 hr 5 min
On this week's episode, we share our very special Toys-R-Us memories, recall some truly terrible Halloween costumes, marvel at the amazingness of the Sears Wishbook, cringe at stories of very drunk friends, ponder vegetarian options at steakhouses, consider camping out for Star Wars in 3D, talk about random trips to gay bars, discuss our biggest failures with women, and shake our heads over the weirdest birthday present ever. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott...
Feb 10, 2012•1 hr 6 min
This week, the crew jokes about getting older, owning pets (and freaking them out), the greatest movie never made, being the coolest person at the worst job in the world, hot dates at Guitar Center, training dogs in order to impress women, things NOT to do with a woman, Jersey Shore spinoffs, video store nightmares, harsh listener reviews, and tainting work computers with pornography. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.
Feb 03, 2012•1 hr 8 min
This week, we examine the science of gayness (according to our listeners), dumb Amazon wish lists, bus horror stories, setting tree fort traps for Vietcong burglars, porno jackpots, the sad life of the Duffel Bags PR guy, the Justice League vs. world hunger, the continued debate of fart politics and girlfriends, the rules of "OH SNAP!", listener questions, and Ryan's first girlfriend. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Jan 27, 2012•1 hr 9 min
This week, we remember why our parents may or may not have thought we were gay during our bromances, how awesome ToyFare Magazine was, how lame some of our childhood toys (like neon Batman figures) were, how awesome others (like ThunderCats) were, how girls failed to remember that handsome Harvey Dent became Two-Face, and how the Real Housewives of Atlanta think black mannequins dressed as slaves can't actually have sex with them. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max S...
Jan 20, 2012•1 hr 44 min
Put your mittens up, people! This week, we recorded an episode that sucked (so we scrapped it), and then we recorded this one (you get to be the judge of whether this one sucks too!) In any case, we say hello to Ryan Scott's bizarro rapper twin, examine the upper echelon of Snob Hill, discuss the pitfalls of OKCupid, give our advice for name-changing (short version: just rename yourself "Max" like Max did), listen to some terrible theme song submissions, consider having babies (or not), and mock...
Jan 13, 2012•1 hr 21 min
Our first episode of 2012 brings heartfelt discussion about local crack dealers, the kilometer-high club, horrible Christmas vacation antics, the worst food in the world, Cirque de Noel, Sonic's lowest moment, genius TV commercials, homeless Family Feud, Fleshlights for monkeys, Max's bizarre New Year's adventure, dangerous winter weather, bad Andre the Giant cosplay, bangin' out to Home Alone 2, and kickstarting a Kickstarter. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, ...
Jan 07, 2012•1 hr 33 min
CHINA! INDIA! JAPAN! BRAZIL! Raul Julia's swansong takes place in none of these countries, and it's actually nothing like the video game at all. In fact, we're not really sure why this movie is called "Street Fighter" at all. Whatever the case, kick back and listen to us make fun of one of the worst video-game-to-movie adaptations of all time. YOU WIN! PERFECT! Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Dec 30, 2011•1 hr 44 min
Just in time for Christmas, it's our first official movie commentary -- and it's for that fun-filled 1992 torture porn classic, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Marvel at young (and sociopathic) Kevin McCallister's extreme aptitude for mercilessly assaulting hapless thieves within inches of their lives, and ring in those happy holidays with joyous cheers of "that guy should have permanent brain damage right now." It's fun for the whole family! So queue up your DVDs, grab a drink, and get ready fo...
Dec 23, 2011•2 hr 1 min
In this week's mysteriously Ryan-free episode, we talk about junk in the trunk (and not the kind you're thinking of), awkward dining experiences, borderline stalking, fun freeway activities, wild bangout situations, Meerkat Manor, hillbilly hand-fishing, the world's worst vending machine guy, Revenge of the Nerds: The Series, more theme song submissions, outlasterbating, proper Fleshlight prep, getting cozy with the vacuum cleaner, the Japanese weather report, indecent proposals, Lindsay Lohan's...
Dec 16, 2011•1 hr 17 min
This week brings chatter about Pizza Club, womanbabies (i.e. the female analog to "manbabies"), Russian mail-order brides, more reasons why we'd never want to live in Australia, awkward bangout situations, pretending to like stuff that sucks, more awkward restaurant stories, Guntown, caveman games, music (our #1 competitor for some fans!), a lot of people we're grateful to, sex comma pets (it makes more sense when you hear it), and the dingbats at Threadless. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano...
Dec 09, 2011•1 hr 27 min
After leaving the world's worst tip at a local restaurant, we point out the rock-bottomness of Kmart, get cozy with some YouTube fetish porn, tell you all about the TV Hat, get some insight into portrait studio hell, read some pretty disturbing email (including one about either the world's worst or most awesome mom), discuss the Comedy Button dating game, share our Thanksgiving stories, run down the porno hot list, and listen to some pretty awesome fan-made theme songs. Starring Scott Bromley, B...
Dec 02, 2011•1 hr 27 min
This week's verbal mayhem involves some real-life Beavis and Butt-head adventures (starring two drunk idiots named Brian and Max), awkward Las Vegas clubbing moments, zombie MILF pornstars, fun activities to indulge in while driving, the most insane tattoos ever, the sad state of Connecticut, money shots, fartistry (yes, that's spelled correctly), and drunken online dating antics in the wake of unfortunate breakups. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scov...
Nov 25, 2011•1 hr 21 min
Today, we regale you with our journey to the time warp that is the Sears Portrait Studio, offer up some Miley Cyrus nudes, go to SPAAAAAAACCCCCEEEEEE (our own personal Caddyshack II), talk about a most interesting weirdo we met at a restaurant, make fun of dumb furries, examine Hanna-Barbera's foray into live-action films, talk about bangin' celebs, and discuss losing the big V. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Nov 18, 2011•1 hr 12 min
This week, we recorded in the wake of Max's big 25th birthday celebration. It's time for some stories about not knowing how to tell time, some of the nastiest strippers we've ever seen, getting kicked out of cabs, Scott's completely insane girlfriend, the inevitable Alcoholocaust, riding the redneck short bus, frog dissections for the r-words, trolling our old substitute teachers, and our favorite kinds of hats (it's worse than it sounds). Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, ...
Nov 11, 2011•1 hr 13 min
This week, we celebrate Halloween with a bunch of boring Halloween non-stories because we're old and stupid. But we've got plenty of cartoon porn, professional masturbation, weird hairless cats, ice-breaking (literally), lonely basketball hoops, parent-child bonding, and giant dongs to discuss. We also learn whose to-do list Anthony is on (again, literally), and we mull over which celebrities we'd most like to pummel. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Sc...
Nov 05, 2011•1 hr 4 min
What do we do when our wives are out-of-town? What kinds of dumb Halloween costume is Scott Bromley cooking up? What sorts of disgusting conversations can we have about mayonnaise and other white substances? Are Louie Anderson and Roseanne Barr actually the same person? Just how awesome was ProStars? What sort of extracurricular delinquency did we indulge in during our high school years? And if we answer all this nonsense, will we finally be relevant enough for Wikipedia's editorial stamp of app...
Oct 28, 2011•1 hr 19 min
This week on the greatest podcast known to mankind, it's time to find out what happened with one really drunk girl at Anthony's 10-year high school reunion, discuss alternative breast cancer charity ideas, talk about some weird-ass porn communities, harp on San Francisco's crazy homeless people, deliver a unique brand of nerd justice to filthy shoplifters, and who knows what else. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Oct 21, 2011•1 hr 6 min
Holy bejeezus, it's the greatest podcast of all-time! Five guys who couldn't be more different than each other have banded together to infect your ears with second-hand stories of Natalie Portman's lunacy, fake-ass cartoon voice actors, drawing hot naked women, bumping uglies at high school reunions, the irritating plate-glass guys in Paperboy, dinner-eating dynamics, the wonders of funemployment, the true origins of the Masters of the Universe, getting sloshed on Pepto Bismol mixers, and plenty...
Oct 14, 2011•1 hr 7 min
