This week, we consider the logistics of having sex in space, note that San Francisco is full of either tons of homeless people or werewolves, share some clown facts, express our feelings about less-abled people, have some plunger problems, read some Amazon reviews, recall our most favorite (and most brutal) middle school fights, discuss the things that should never be used in a store display case, learn all about face-slapping massage treatment (seriously -- this is a real thing), and talk up th...
Oct 05, 2012•59 min
This week, we talk about impossible expectations for journalism, play "Indian Food or Star Wars Character," discuss the wild and wacky goings-on during the average San Francisco morning, get bored with our futuristic toys, reminisce on how crazy New York can be, laugh at dumb pigeons, laugh at dumb cartoons (and their marketing campaigns), choose between our theoretical daughters banging either Bret Michaels or the high school football team, read the worst revenge letter ever, hate on bad candy,...
Sep 28, 2012•1 hr 18 min
This week, Ryan tries to get healthy, Mike & Ike break up, weird classmates turn into weirder adults, Max and Anthony go to Toys R Us (and deliver a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles history lesson), Max winds up at a sad mall again, we ponder how animals pleasure themselves, Ryan shares his meticulous Indiana Jones notes, and we imagine a world without Guy Fieri. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Sep 21, 2012•53 min
We took a week off, so get over it! But now we're back to talk about awkward Tahoe trips, beer-buying logistics, the Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3 wrap party, autopsy animals, Brian's Charlotte's Web fan fiction, the Disney Concentration Camp, shoplifting from K-Mart in the '90s, what life is like in the Mrs. Doubtfire house, Kickstarters for sci-fi trash heaps, bad advice for bullied kids, lethal furniture, and insane Lego savants. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott,...
Sep 14, 2012•1 hr 11 min
Apologies in advance for the audio screwiness this week. To make up for it, we tell you all about our trip to the zoo with our second VIP listener, where we watched a prison riot in the gorilla pen, learned about Max's fear of spiders, tried to steal pretzels from kids, took some low blows for the camera, acted like dirty thieves, met the world's funniest goat, and witnessed a race riot in the polar bear pen. We also find out why some of us would make horrible (or awesome) parents, Anthony whips...
Aug 31, 2012•1 hr 10 min
This week, we have the most athletic intro ever, mourn the loss of Nintendo Power, mourn the loss of the Sears Wishbook, share our Christmas wishes, learn one mustache's origin story, discover we're too old for Pokemon, recall our parents beating the crap out of us, beg Hollywood not to remake Problem Child, get angry at pretentious art, poop in space, learn how our special guest met his fiancee, learn about one cool band, and share Sweden bathroom stories. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, ...
Aug 24, 2012•1 hr 8 min
This week, Max has a terrible werewolf movie pitch, Anthony gets hit on, the Golden Gate bridge gets hot and heavy, nurses rave about cat tranquilizers, Brian shoots himself, Max accidentally blows it, Scott discusses the horrors of Disneyland, we roll our eyes at Velcro wallets, we rant and rave about terrible reality shows, Anthony geeks out about Star Wars Celebration, we open some early Christmas presents, and Scott relays the secret history of one very special Vanilla Ice song. Starring Sco...
Aug 17, 2012•1 hr 22 min
Sex in the 1920s, live Harry Potter puppet shows, the Home Alone Band, reviews for nature trails, Ryan Scott's Excellent Virginity Adventure, the early days of cybersex, pithy email responses, Anthony's new OkCupid initiative, getting excited over household appliances, the continued ruination of the English language, number 2, sewer-worthy silverware, and extracurricular creativity. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Aug 10, 2012•1 hr 2 min
This week's episode is all about our first group trip to California's Great America theme park, which included trashy people, some wild dancing, whorish preteens, a sweet airbrushed t-shirt, and garbage disguised as food. We also get an email from our saddest listener, hear the craziest story ever (courtesy of this week's special guest), and get some Anthony-targeted love advice from one of our female listeners. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville...
Aug 03, 2012•1 hr 19 min
We discover that horse fights are terrifying, discuss our dream jobs, confirm that chinchillas are terrible animals, solve the mystery of the used condom and the toilet brush, learn to not be such packrats, examine Ryan's downtime, teach Anthony how to talk to girls, get an update from one of our listeners on his crazy girlfriend, recall one amazing '80s turn-of-phrase, learn about Ryan's international travel plans, and experience the death and return and death of Putnam Whipple. Starring Scott ...
Jul 27, 2012•1 hr 6 min
This week is all about Max getting hot oral (surgery), breaking into Brian's apartment after a night of drinking, helping Anthony pick up girls, guest host Jack DeVries' San Diego Comic-Con 2012 adventures, the sudden rise in cereal mascot crime, the miracle of courage, the true story behind all those Chuck E. Cheese vomit balls, open-door bathrooms policies, the scavenger hunt for a garbage can in a movie theater, the terrible and baffling stories that children tell, a great example of a terrib...
Jul 20, 2012•1 hr 5 min
This week, we learn all of Anthony's dirty iPad secrets, hear the world's longest manscaping story, share embarrassing secrets with our doctors, get stonewalled by Aeon Flux, remember our terrible family vacations, try to imagine Brian as a child, remember the good old days of Cracked Magazine, talk about Max's cartoon penguin-petting zoo trip, outline just how terrifying bugs are, pour some more salt on Max's daddy issues, discuss Anthony's gnarly sk8er boi-ness, and attempt to speedrun our ter...
Jul 13, 2012•1 hr 7 min
This week, after host Mike Drucker tells us what it was like working at Nintendo, we imagine which fantasy worlds we would want to live in, beat the dead Brony horse some more, discover that VidCon is the weirdest convention on the planet, talk about terrible music, find out where Max's mom didn't work, recall the strangest sex we've ever had, and learn all about Ryan Scott's fake birthday weekend. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special...
Jul 06, 2012•1 hr 5 min
This week, we learn that Donkey Kong Country is kinda racist, fix a car with a donkey, anger the Bronies (again), wonder whatever happened to Sinbad, consider naked skydiving, commit Press Your Luck suicide, distance ourselves from all the babies, discuss having children, make fun of fan fiction, reminisce about Fruit by the Foot, and open up about our fathers. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Jun 29, 2012•1 hr 7 min
On this week's episode, Brian and Scott go to the beach, Clifford the Big Red Dog destroys everything, Gotham City is overrun by evil surf gangs, Brian tells the Bronies to get their lives together, sex in horse costumes gets complicated, Hasbro recycles the '80s on The Hub, geese are still jerks, Ryan is the worst superhero ever, and we recall breaking all our parents' stuff. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Jack DeVries.
Jun 22, 2012•1 hr 1 min
This week, we remember the morning after the Alcoholocaust, discover we're definitely not experts in Asian culture, offer some bad advice in response to your terrible emails, confirm that geese are still jerks, get a shout-out from Radford University, discuss dinosaur porn at length, look like dorks, compare children to dogs, hate on Sunday comic strips, love high school football games (and the associated partying opportunities), discuss moving out of the states that suck, discover the worst Ita...
Jun 15, 2012•1 hr 1 min
This week, two-thirds of our cast (including Max's girlfriend and special guest-star Jenn) gets drunk off of the worst booze known to mankind, while the resident manbabies (Anthony and Ryan) are semi-forced to eat terrible foreign candy. It's the Boozeocalypse, the Alcoholocaust, Wine/11 -- whatever you want to call it. You asked for it, people! Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jenn Not-Yet-Scoville.
Jun 08, 2012•1 hr 20 min
This week, Brian quit smoking and wants to kill us all, we explore the confusing logistics of being a monster, we never want to play video games with the Joydick, Ryan Scott hosts another Recipe Corner, living with survivalists would be insane, we explain that we are not licensed counselors, we want stupid teenagers to stop having babies, we talk about lots of dumb things we've done, we tell you about our crazy relatives, Ryan shares his Nintendo dreams, we reveal which porn images haunt us, we ...
Jun 01, 2012•1 hr 12 min
This week, we talk all about wrestling moves that double as sex positions, those ridiculous Leprechaun movies, those ridiculous Child's Play movies, Brian's love for Hoarders, the store where manbabies go to die, RoboCop bubble bath, Captain Power toys, Anthony's childhood disdain for personal hygiene, Brian vs. the Amish, the Alcoholocaust, listeners' sex dreams (about us), things we never want to hear during sex, and how staying up too long will turn you into an insane person. Starring Scott B...
May 25, 2012•1 hr 7 min
This week, Ryan is an accomplice to murder, Scott's dad is in the High School Sports Hall of Fame, drug dealers love cartoon characters, '80s WWF got really insane, Max tries to talk about comics, Ryan calls in from the Murder Train, geese are jerks, squirrels are awesome, Brian's mother is surprised that he isn't in jail, drunk college girls remind most of us why we're relieved we aren't single, and the toilet in Pee Wee's Playhouse hates his life. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony ...
May 18, 2012•1 hr 5 min
This week, after a brief note about podcasting from SPAAAAACE, we chat about how Warhammer figures can save your life, how Santa Claus is always watching you, what happens when you throw toys into ceiling fans, childhood bullies, the porno magazine Max bought on his anniversary, American Stuffers (the greatest show ever), Star Wars character names vs. rapper names, Gremlins 2 (the greatest cartoon ever), Max's Cinco de Mayo Kentucky Derby story, rich people hunting the poor in San Francisco, gia...
May 11, 2012•1 hr 5 min
This week, we dive into naked stand-up, farting to end a conversation, Scott's podcast from 1986, Ralston brand cereals (and why they didn't make any sense), Transformers in real life, what episode to start on when checking out the GameSpy Debriefings, really racist email, the worst marriage proposal ever, themed weddings, making our future children do everything for us, fake New York movie gangs, the Haight Street Drug Deal game, shameful Google searches, the terrible life of a dog, and the wor...
May 04, 2012•1 hr 7 min
It's the all-relationship episode, where we answer your letters and discuss how to get your lady to kiss you after she's been down there, guest-host Jack DeVries' sex bucket list, butt secks, what to do with a stack of money when you're single, why you shouldn't marry young, how Brian Altano lost his virginity, how Scott Bromley managed to masturbate to Hocus Pocus, growing up (and growing a pair), and relationship advice for cavemen. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, and Max Scoville, with ...
Apr 27, 2012•1 hr 9 min
This week, former GameSpy editor Will Tuttle joins us to talk about his babies and quiz Ryan on a bunch of things that may or may not be real food. We also talk about Double Dare and... a bunch of other stuff. It's a surprise! Oh boy! Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Will Tuttle.
Apr 20, 2012•1 hr 11 min
This week, we discuss why Facebook sucks, why Tinychat makes us feel like we're cult leaders, how we found out our significant others were cool, how Ryan proposed to his wife, the strangest things that have happened to us during sex, how special guest Jack DeVries lost his virginity to Cool Dog, the horrors of hot dog stuffed pizza, attending a DJ battle, newspapers that cater to the homeless, how bullying has changed over the years, sad-faced soda spills, how to write a good email, almost getti...
Apr 13, 2012•1 hr 13 min
This week, Max gets a drink thrown on him, Brian explains his hatred of Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Scott talks about the world's saddest aquarium, we recall how we learned how to swear, and we learn about "posh wanking." We also talk about popular-but-really-messed-up books, why our generation is a bunch of whiny manbabies, 100-year-olds and Internet age-gates, fat people not wanting to date fat people, urination awkwardness, more dumb press releases, people taking pictures of food with their phone...
Apr 06, 2012•1 hr 2 min
Oops! It looks like we've left a window open. Starring Jeff Green, Robert Ashley, Shawn Elliott, Anthony Gallegos, Sean Molloy, and Ryan Scott.
Mar 30, 2012•2 hr 5 min
This week, we discuss weird ways to finish having sex, looking at Playboy Magazine as adults, awful summer camp stories, why we hate going to the movies, terrible press releases, handmade torture chambers, Ryan Scott's recipe corner, bad first dates, one listener's awkward homosexuality test, and truly miserable greeting cards. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Mar 23, 2012•1 hr 7 min
This week's episode is all about fun with model rockets, causing massive amounts of destruction on the night before Halloween, Double Dare (and why it could never happen in 2012), Doug Funnie's impact on the masculinity of America, learning from Maxim magazine, the pitfalls of growing up too fast, another cooking lesson with Ryan Scott, the ghost of Brianna Altano, New Jersey's 2012 mother of the year, meeting a ghost in real life, horse dreams, and cleaning out our manbaby closets.
Mar 16, 2012•1 hr 1 min
It's time to discuss homeless San Francisco hyenas, terrible children and the people who have them, Anthony on conciseness, Mario Party drinking games, dumb names for pets, the Ryan Scott Recipe Corner, Tinychat boobies, the transformation of Mr. Hyde into Dr. Jekyll, meeting celebrities, and Shannen Doherty's horrible life. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott.
Mar 09, 2012•59 min
