What's The Right Way To Park?

Is the Christy Swan Show.

Here we are.

It's one of those days. We were just talking to our boss. We said, we said it's Thursday. She said it's Wednesday. My kids think it's Friday.

It feels like Friday.

It's a funny day. I'm officially telling you it is Thursday. Thank you all day now while I've got you Jack, Yes, you know that my sight is failing and I've been given this beautiful bracelet from a friend of mine many months ago, and I can't the class is too small for me to see. Oh when we play a song next, can you please put this on my wrist? I can thank you.

I love that bracelet. It's stunning.

After three o'clock, we have Katie Perry tickets inside the bum bag. She's just gone and announced extra shows in cities around Australia.

There's four in Adelaide.

She's going to be pink Man.

She's going to have people to fill that stadium.

In next those sweeping statements, we'll be asking for your unpopular opinions.

The Christy Swan Show.

Let's get on popular.

Sweeping statements.

Oh yes, what is something that you have believed for a long time? But you almost don't want to say it because you know that you might well be on your pat malone.

Right, we're so cranky today that we're kicking the show off with sweeping statements.

I had three did, and that's unlike me. I don't know what to go for. I know that we did talk about food courts. I'm going to change it up, okay, because I've got a new one that I haven't told you, And it goes like this. If you're in a car park and you see an empty space and you decide to pull up past it and reverse in, you can go to hell.

Why what sort of animal drives front on?

Everyone drives? That's the point.

Go back.

You should have your license taken off you. If you can't reverse park into a car.

Park spot, I beg your pardon.

You should have your license.

No, remind no, I'm not talking about the ones where you're I can't think of the word talking about the ones where you're pulling in.

Yeah, but I always I always reverse in. I drive forward and reversing in so that when I go it's a lot easier about.

The people that are waiting and think that you're moving into the.

Park, But no, I'm moving.

Forward, and then they move forward because that's what a normal process is. And then they've got to reverse up because you want to reverse in.

No, you put your indicator on and your wait eight seconds.

Parking goes nos first.

No, end of disagree.

You can go to hell.

Go to hell.

Can we have a car parking brawl? If you and I met in a car park, it would go I'll tell you what.

This's happened to me twice this week, and the next time I'm hoping it's you. I'm hoping it's you because I am ready to go.

Okay, this is my sweeping statement today. You're going to it not like, oh great, I think.

The most disgusting food texture there is is an omelet. They are vile. Why would you want to put that texture in your mouth?

Someone?

I had a bite of someone's the other day, and I'm like, actually, at the age of twenty seven, I've just realized how disgusting omelets are. Yuck, poach it or scramble it and have it on some sourdough. Just that omelet texture in my mouth?

No, thank you?

What was it? Who made it?

A cafe? They're just they're awful. Though. I just had that it came to me.

Well, look, you're entitled to that opinion, but you're wrong. What is your sweepy sam and what is your unpopular opinion?

Make us angry? Let's make swe angry today.

I feel like we're angry now.

It gives me life.

It's a Crissy Swan show.

If you need a doctor, join over one million Australians who are skipping the waiting room and speak to instant scripts doctors online from the comfort of home.

To find out all visit instant script stuff.

God, are you the Chrissy Swan Show.

Let's bring the moodweed down.

Swan's sweeping statements.

Oh yeah, this is where you have a full skirmish, a fisticuff with the entire population that does not agree with you.

You and I just had a fight in the song about your sweeping statement because it's ridiculous.

I really think that you are so entitled.

No, I'm correct.

Your time is better than my time if.

You six seconds. It's how a car park works.

No, it's not how a car park works. They're designed to go nose first, get out of the way. Everybody is going shopping and needs to get there.

Look at our instagram at the Christy Swan Show. If you'd like to see us off air fighting?

What is your sweeping statement? You're on pop of your opinion? Thirteen twenty four ten High.

Caf Hi, Christy Hijack, how are you going good?

Yours has got to do with cyclists, which happened to be a subject of much rage.

As just I do pritty, how you hate people that reserve his past? I'm actually with Jack and I reverse all the times. However, the cyclist on the roads a bicycles should hate for registrations. It drives me insane the amount of times you have to.

Stop let them go past.

I just want to run.

Them over, seem So there's like two types of people one that caesar cyclist and feels rage and then me, I don't even really, I don't even notice them.

Yeah, I'm with you, Catherine. Even driving around the lake on the way to work today, I was like, mate, move to the left.

I'm like, you're going to get clipped.

No, but they're a vehicle just like us.

No they're not.

They are they need to pay registration, prissy, he's.

But what about pedestrians? Did they need to pay registration or do they have a right on the roads as well, but.

Don't walk on the road, cyclist, take up room on the where weird paying thousands of dollars car registration and I just want to run the most, just to say.

And you can't keep saying you want to run them over and you can't say that.

Price loge Pharbacy voucher for you, Catherine, And maybe you chat to someone as well.

Can Maybe I need to stop saying anybody the reverers parks into a car park space can go to hell. But I do mean it.

Hi, Kylie, Hi Jack, Hi Chrissy.

How are you so good? You're so bright and bubbly, Kylie.

That's me.

I love your show, listen every day.

That means so much to us. But what do you think about children.

That?

Yes, well, I'm really not fond of people bring their children when you invite them for dinner on their devices all night. You try and have a conversation with them, and they're not interested.

So what's your what's your sweeping statement?

I don't like children on their devices at the dinner table.

I think that's fair.

I think that's fair.

Like breakfast time you did invite guests for breakfast, they bring their kids that's fine, that's great. They're always on their devices, even at lunchtime.

And I mean, having said that, it is a good thing to bring if you're the parent and you want to talk to your friend.

Who's the other parent. Yeah, okay, because you know, and it's terrible parenting, but we've all done it. Once they've got a device, it's like you're on your own yourself. Yeah yeah, but I do understand, Kylie. And then they get this weird zombie face. That's what I've been calling it at my house. I'm like, look at you, you look like a zombie. And I like to hear that. And I'm trying to guilt them into living a life instead of just.

Endless YouTube show some emotion.

Correct, Hello, Amanda.

Hi, Christy Hijack, how are you good?

Will?

We're good, But I feel like you're about to say something very controversial. Mandy.

Yes, I do hope that you can end an ongoing debate between me and my girlfriend.

We're very talk about today. I'm here for this.

So her sleeping statement is that Purple Rain is the worst song ever.

Cool.

My statement is my counter to her is that Mantle belongs to Slice of Heaven. Oh please, discuss.

Wow, I think I mean, look, I don't want to add a third song into the mix, but I think you've forgotten.

Um Blue.

Night clearly clearly the worst song ever.

Well, we cannot even listen to her musical taste because her favorite song happens to be Cottnye Joe. So she can't be taken seriously.

No, she cannot. She can points to your friend Peter.

Priceline Pharmacy to you a Mandi.

The Chrissy Swan Show, The Chrissy Swan Show.

Let's flip it and mix it in.

It's the number one personal blend of brand in the world. Chrissy's flipped and mixed it.

Let's go.

I'm a danged to help a bit of a process.

You know.

I mentioned yesterday that I was going to give Pesto a crack in my new flip it.

Did you get around to it?

I did not only gender for tonight there was a shortage of Basil's going on.

What do you mean like to buy? Yes?

Oh, I could not find any anywhere, only the stuff in the pot. I'd like someone to explain to me what the point of that is, because it doesn't grow in me.

Do you still have your veggie patch or herb.

No, I cleared it, gave it to my sister. Okay, I've hello Courtney, Hi, Hi, you know I've had that. I've had an old neutribullet for many, many years. But I've got the new flip and it's reinvented my love of the neutribullet? Are you mad for a neutral bullet?

I got an old one that I got as a Christmas gift, like many years ago.

I'm never going to use this.

I actually use it all the time.

The good news is, the good news is that you are going home with a flipp it no matter how you bum out about this thing. Okay, Because if you get two of these songs crep, we've mixed them together. If you get two crept to get a thousand dollars worth of neutrable and stuff. If you get one correct, you get three hundred bucks worth. But if you get none correct, if you just hang up now and say stuff and I've got something better to do, you're still going to get the neutrible at flip.

Okay, all right, we need the names of these two songs, so just yell them out once you know, court Okay, espresso.

Yes, and the other one.

Is it's going to come in.

Can't take it out? One of the yes it is.

I'm sure I have some who before we even got to the lyrics.

Well done, Corse, put on your courtney. You're clearly an auditory process. It takes one to know one. All right, You've got yourself both of them. That's one thousand dollars worth of Nutribullet prizes. You're going to lose your mind.

Register by the Nova Player app if you'd like to play tomorrow the Chrissy Swan Show.

Let's see what's on the interwebs.

Chrissy's click base.

When I see the words Wendy Williams, I must click, I must.

I love that woman.

Of course, you and I in the ven diagrams of a ven diagram of things we have in common, Wendy Williams is clearly in it.

Absolutely she's in.

It, as is egg noodle, dumpling, soup. There's a few other things. Wendy Williams of course came to prominence. She never had a show on air here in Australia, but she did have a talk show. She's a radio legend in America.

Yeah, and I would in high school. Go home and watch her talk show on YouTube. Watch the full hot topics twenty minutes. That's obsessed with her.

She is amazing. Most people got to know her when she passed out dressed a's statue of liberty. That's right, that's how most people know it.

And also when she did the burp fart. Should we enjoy that quickly? Yes, it's a matter of time.

She's not lowly good.

Apologizo. What I don't understand is why, like where are like you and I in that audience that would be shrieking laughing. Played again and listen to the low key reaction to a legendary burp fart.

It's a matter of time.

She's not lowly good.

Apolog is unbelievable so great anyway, she has disappeared from the limelight for all sorts of reasons, but she's broken her silence. This is big over the p Diddy situation because she called it years ago on her show. Yes, she has been openly critical of him and saying all throughout her show that he needs to be investigated, that

Interesting, I love this and also Swanny Wendy would know because she was in the music industry. Her husband's in talent management in New York. Like, I think that she's got some proper tea.

What I think is interesting is this why? I mean, she has actually said stuff about it over the last few decades, but everybody else has not, And I just think that's an interesting piece of human nature.

It is.

I think I think I know why why? Because I've done so much deep diving.

Yeah.

Yeah, people know what could happen to them if they spoke, and that is death. Like allegedly several people I mean again conspiracy theories on TikTok, but it feels like a lot of people were unlived by Ditty.

Or because of him.

He is like the devil, a monster, a monster that is a really good word. I do want to say, though, take the action of going for the deep dive on this very very carefully, because what you will uncover is extraordinarily disturbing.

Yes, very like it's not cool no.

No, let's have a change of speed, can we please?

Sure?

Mendes? Sure, Mendes seems like a very nice gentle boy.

He does.

He seems like a real like deep thinker and as like it enjoyed poetry.

Yes, and a red you know, and a red why?

Yeah?

For some reason, my daughter has a pathological hatred for Shawn Menders. I don't know where it comes from, but I think it might stem from jealousy over Camilla Cabeo. I'm not hundred percent sure, right, but they were famously going out, and then they broke up, and then there was alleged little tryst with Sabrina Carpenter. In there they are back together, Camilla Cabeo and Shawn Mendes, and this is what he had to say about his sweetheart.

Camille and I have just done the best job at preserving our private little fire of love for each other, because no matter how strong mentally you are, when there are millions of people commenting on it, it's so hard not to be affected by it.

Yes, I agree, But should we tell him that his girlfriend's name is Camilla not Camille?

Yeah? That was weird.

Also, you know how Sabrina Carpenter talks about him liking mushrooms and how the mushrooms are changing here.

What does that mean?

But changing your voice?

Bro?

Is he does he enjoy a fungie.

He's into like meditation and apparently mushrooms allegedly.

Oh I can tell he's very calm that he do like aya vida y.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is the Chrissy's Fun Show.

Well, high, we're still here. There is nothing you can do about it.

It's about it.

We've got another hour and I'm thrilled because between now and four pm you are going to be grace with a dulcin tones of one of my closest dearest friends, the Great Dave Thorno Thornton.

Oh yeah, we're getting him on the phone.

Can I tell you I blew his mind this week with a tidbit about a supermarket that I thought everybody knew and he had no idea.

I can't wait to hear it, I know. Also big news today Katie Perry. She's announcing more shows in Adelaide. I think she's announced another show in Melbourne. But you don't need to worry because in Chrissy's Quizzy we have a double pass to go and see her. Sweet thirteen, twenty four to ten. Jump on the line, swan.

So fingers crossed, You're about to hear from two crazy Katy Perry fans.

Chrissies Quizzy.

Oh yes, Ben.

Hello, Hey Chrissy, how you doing?

Raw?

Is your favorite song? Did you enjoy that? We just played it just now?

Yeah?

It was.

It was perfect timing.

I'm hoping it's a sign.

It's so good. In fact, when it started off air, Jack and I both said, God, this is a good song.

Yeah, it's an anthem.

An it is an anthem. Have you ever seen her sing it live?

I have, yeah, a few years ago. So good.

And I mean we all saw the AFL performance the other day, so she's pretty good.

Yeah. I love how sort of masculine she is. Live like she's really like Juty or something.

When she was running up that stage with her hands and she was both strong.

She did that Celine Deon thing, you know when she she punches her hand in the air. Perfect.

I mean, name another legend. Please let's move on to mel Hello, Mel, Hi, Hi, so good. You also loved Katie's performance at the Grand Final.

I did, and I thought you was far, far and away better than Tina Arena.

I know you may not agree, but I think she was fabulous.

I mean that those two together really made my heart so happy.

It was wonderful to watch. But she's definitely shown well.

One of you is going to go and see her live. There are tickets in the limited edition. Chrissy s Fonshow bumbag made the best fan? When your names are your buzzes, Ben and Mel and it's the best of five, meaning the first person you the first one is to get three answers. Creepy, We was bloody one of yours.

Question number one, what.

Beauty treatment did lamar odom get done this week? We were talking about it yesterday. It involves a fish and some sticky stuff. You scho it was a salmon sperm.

Facial Question number two?

Which direction? From which direction does the sun rise?

Ben?

Now?

Yes, Ben, well done? God, I would never You could have a gun to my head and I will.

Yeah.

I don't know directions.

I'm terrible.

I'm like a Burmese cat. Keat me off the right. Question number three, can you name this Katy Perry song? Come on guys, Yes, Ben? It is teenage drain.

Two points to Ben. Now you could still get in there.

Maybe you'll know about Nicole Kidman. We're talking about Nicole. Next, one of Nicole Kidman's offspring walked in a runway at Paris. Yes, it is Sunday Rose. I love how we all know her middle name because we were all so desperate to find out what she was going to be called back in the day.

What a name.

She's sixteen now, and you know there was some controversy about her name because people said it was like Sunday roast.

Right, it's a bit like Mehy.

It's a bit methy.

It's just a bit Sunday is a bit me Oh god.

That's question.

Question number five?

Which comedian was Katie Perry once married.

To Ben Ben?

For the.

Now, I'm going to it was Russell Brand.

Yeah, I'm giving it to Mel. Just got in there. I'm getting official approval from Tom. All Right, guys, it's a typewreak. Question number six is for the win.

What is the key ingredient in an omelet?

Ben?

Yes?

Ben Egg?

Correct?

Oh? Mel, you put in a valley and tair fish. Oh so close. But Ben, you are going tell us everything about it.

Best day ever, the best time, Ben tg Dainty have announced that Katie Perry is bringing The Lifetimes to Our presented by Snaffle, to Australia this June. Get tickets tomorrow at ticket Tech.

The Christy Swan Show, The Christy Swan Show.

Did you know that I've got a podcast It's called The Christy Cast and get it wherever you get your podcasts. And there's an episode going to air on Friday, And I blow Dave Thornton's mind with a fact that I thought everybody knew. So we're going to play around of what did your friends not know that you could not believe? Thirteen twenty four to ten. Give us a call and he joins us. Now, Hello Dave.

Thornton, Hello Christy Jacky.

Now, I just want to tell you are live on air, So no fruity language please.

Oh you know me so well? Hey, I feel like when your mate's in the car with their kids.

Yeah we are. I always answer the phone going, oh hello, I'm in the I'm in the car with Leo.

Yeah, speaking of fruity Thorno.

Before we get to this story, I just want to talk about your contact photo that you've picked for yourself on your iPhone.

Yeah, what about it?

Yah, it's fruity in.

A sense that you look like you've just murdered someone in the bush and have taken a selfie, and I just want to give you that feedback.

Okay, great, well, now the aco is onto me. But then I thought it was all right, But here I am getting thrown under the back.

No, you look like an EMU that accosted me in my car.

Well, this don't paint a good picture at all.

Well, let's move on to something a lot more wholesome. What did I remember? You and I were discussing how unsettling it is when you have to go to a supermarket that isn't your regular supermarket, and we both wander around, going where's the biggies, where's the And then I I said to you, Dave.

You said to me that at the end of every aisle there is a red or not even a folder, just a two sided piece of perspects hanging from a chain, and it will tell you where everything is sitting in the aisle. And it blew my tiny mind apart.

And you went you had no idea that this community service existed, and you went straight to the supermarket to check. And you sent me a photograph of you also looking like an EMU with the with the piece of perspects.

Okay, this is now. This has now hit me a few times so that I'm incompetent with a small head on my neck. But then, but yeah, Jack, it was I'd send it not once but twice. Now I think could have me three times to Chrissy. Every time. It blows my mind apart because I have meandered for I mean, I'm forty, I've spent a good what what is for three decades just walking around the supermarket. I don't know where's the baked bean? Tell me where this thing is?

I love sussing that clipboard. It's fun.

It's the best, Chrissy.

Do you remember on the podcast. I bought it up because I said this should be like a Google Maps for supermarkets. Go to a new supermarket, and I thought it was the greatest invention I've ever thought of. You said, it's just a map at the end of everything there is.

It's a little bit more analogue than a Google map, but it is still a map. Have you also played that wonderful game where the actual specific thing that you want isn't listed, so you've got to sort of check the vibe if you were setting out the sitting out the supermarket where you would put the Chipotle Mayer.

Or the polenta. That's what I always with, the rice and the know we love you.

Thanks for coming on. I can't wait to see your new contact photo because it needs to be changed.

Thank you for.

The Christy Swan show.

You're just tuning in you miss the gorgeous Dave Thornton podcast. He is a grown man, and his face when I told him that at the end of the aisle and every supermarket in every city in the country there is a list of where to find what it is that you want, he had no idea. So we're asking you thirteen twenty four ten, what is the little tidbit that blew your friend's mind when they found out? Hello Emma, Hello, what is your friend Jenna on about here?

So they're saying it's a bit nippy?

She thought it was it's a bit nipply.

Well, a lot of people do say that, and I don't know where it came from.

Say nippy, Yes, you never heard that.

I have heard that. Really, have you heard of tom people that it's a bit nippy?

No, because it's it's nippy, right, it is.

But also when it is cold, you can get a bit nippy as well. I understand where that comes from.

Pharmacy voucher for you. Emma.

Hey, Stace, Hi, what did your friend Danielle think?

She thought that the Big Bang was just TVV show.

Big Bang theory? So how did it sort of unfold? Like, I love that moment that your friend realizes something.

Well, first off, she thought was at work years ago and every Friday because she thought that the Rabbit's actually the Great Wall Trime was actually built to keep the.

Rabbits out that famous.

Yes, yes, So then every kind of Friday we would.

Do a watch. Does Danny not know?

Yeah, she thought it was hilarious.

It was you know, isn't mean or anything, but yeah, and then so you know the fact that she thought the rabbits kept out of China with the wall, and then yeah, we.

Just started people just started paying stuff and that.

Was so fan fantastic. You've just faded her down. I mean, I would give anything to be like Danielle. She sounds like such a sweet kid.

You know.

Or Stacy Priline farmac. Imagine sitting through Stacy telling you that segment out the office.

Jsiah, Hello, Hi, how are you good? What did your friend Jackie think?

So she thought that chicken salt actually contained chicken and she hasn't ever tried it before because she doesn't eat meat, and we all told her, no, it's got nothing to do with chicken.

Well, I sort of see where she's coming from. I would have assumed that there was some sort of chicken extract.

Same Sosaiah. That's kind of blown my mind.

Yeah, Well, because you know, I was like almost today years old when I looked at the ingredients on my favorite stock kibs, chicken stock kibs. There's no chicken in me either, and there's no beef in the beef stock keeps.

You would assume, So.

You would assume.

So Kinas signed pharmacy voucher for Ushazi. Let's finish with Natalie Swaneye.

And Natty Hi.

Hey, you going could would it?

J just not know that the jay is silent in jalapino and for heaters.

So does she say jellipino and fagiis.

Yeah, exactly. And we didn't realize until we're in Mexican restaurant ordering some food and we all.

Turned and looked at she get deported.

Crissy SWANSO had a ball today.

Jack Jame Swaney, Let's click for one last time, Chrissy Cliches. I really think one of the most interesting people around at the moment, apart from Chapel Roone, is the great Sabrina.

Carpenter agreed, obsessed with her.

In fact, this weekend, I am going to spend half an hour doing what I should have done many months ago.

What is that?

And just finding out what her siblings look like, where she's from, what her parents look like.

We're doing a full deep dive.

Yes, I've got to know all of this information.

Hey, you should do we should I should start doing that as well, because I've been doing too much ditty deep diving and it gets a bit grim.

Yes, and I feel like, you know, a deep dive on Sabrina Carpenter will be happy and amazing, like you know, a sorbet after a heavy dinner.

For you You know, yes.

So let's start with this. She has responded to claims that she does not sing live. Someone Salty on TikTok has said, I hate to say it, but thirty percent lip sinking, thirty percent backing track, and only forty percent live.

I think what people don't understand is on TikTok, especially these artists when they're on a stage. Yes, there is a backing track, guys, because if they need to take a breath, there can't be no lyrics. And she's human, so yes there's a backing track.

It doesn't mean she's track.

Doesn't think she's not singing live exactly. And also speaking of her live, let's just enjoy a bit of BEDCEM live.

Can we please?

Accent just makes me wish I just had.

More partners when I was twenty, I mean, and it's just like so delicious her whole life.

Anyway, she sings live, and she.

Has made it very clear she goes. I sing live every show one hundred percent. Would you like to speak to my audio engineers? Smash Next, she is on the cover of Time one hundred. This is a legendary issue where the world's most influential rising stars are always featured, and she is on the front. And have a look at who writes the article.

Christina Aguilera.

Aguilera is now a musical journalist and she has written for Time one hundred. There is nothing that that woman can't do. I hope in the article that they discuss their beginnings as child stars, of course, because I haven't done the deep dive properly on Sabrina Carpenter, but I do know she was one of those Disney style.

Yes, she was on a Disney Channel show early on.

Yeah, I mean she's magical Girl Meets World.

It was called Oh yes.

God, my Son's loved Girl Meets World. Love that Now. She looks amazing on the cover. It's like old school Marilyn Monroe, which is absolutely the vibe that she goes wore, and that I think because she's so sweet and so good. I think that recent film clip where she's like murdering that girl and the girl's murdering her back really works because it's a real juxtaposition a total characters. Next on the Sad Cab Deeve Dive Amanda Seyfried, who is an

I gotta be epic.

Well, I hope it doesn't happen. Why can I tell you there is no franchise that gets on my tits more than Mother and Me. Really, I didn't like it live, I didn't like the movie. If you're listening to me SABCAV Don't Sign on. The Chrissy Swan Show is a Nova podcast. For more great comedy shows like this, head to novapodcast dot com.

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