The Heartbreaking - And Hilarious - Note Peg Left For Chrissie

This is the Chrissy Swan Show.

I've literally just arrived at the microphone. Jack, how are you?

I mean, I'm good, Swanny, how are you?

I really wanted to share with you at this point of the show. Two pm on a Friday, A note that was left on my bed last night when I got home from Coldplay. So I left the house. I left the house and it was magical. Of course, Coldplay one of the greatest super bands of all time. Unbelievable, it was always going to be incredible. It was a very big effort for me to get there. It involved, you know, Avengers Assemble, seven thousand people.

I was very proud of you because I know the effort at talk and you got there.

I got there and I didn't miss one note of the concert. I couldn't believe it. I even caught the train in on my own. I mean, I'm a miracle. Got home and there was a note on my bed, and that was why I was running in because I didn't know where i'd push it. And here it is. Oh, that's it.

That's a receipt.

Okay, are you ready?

Just on my pillow?

What does it say?

I miss you? I'm sad. I want to sleep in your bed with you peg and therein Wow was the very last night that I ever attempt to leave the house.

No, you can't, tough shit, kid, I can't.

Live with that.

And look at this little This is where I need to be.

You are so ripped by those children.

I am right to be a shut in. I am right. I am in my hermit phase and that's it.

Yeah, I feel like you've been in your hermit ear for the last eight years.

No, no, the last year, the last year, absolutely, the last year. All right.

Yeah, hey, Swani, after three o'clock, you're debuting a brand new segment.

Yeah, we got the.

Windmills of my mind.

It's going to give you an insight into what thoughts are running through my head at any given moment.

Amazing.

We've also got your invites to the kid the roy in Nova's Red Room increases Queasy and before three o'clock someone is going to win that Disney cruise line. In Chrissy and Jack's Voyage to Victory, say good eight to us and tell us what you did last night?

Did you go trick or treating the Chrissy Swan Show.

I can't wait to hear the dulcet tones of your voice. Chrissy sayday, it feels like it's been a busy week. It has, man, Yeah, it feels like kids are busy, parents are busy, everyone's busy.

Everyone there's so much on. This time of year is just jam packed with stuff.

Yes, and I want to hear everything that happened last night was trick or treating. I really had to slow down and look left and look right on my back ally Sally way on the way home because the kids were everywhere everywhere, and dads, so many dads into Halloween.

I know, I like pooh pooed Halloween decorations on the house yesterday, But I love trick or treating. I think it's so fun and it's fun seeing what everyone dresses up as.

I loved seeing everybody out and about. And you just realize that neighborhoods these days are like ghost towns, usually high fi. Owner. Good, Now, what'd you do last night?

Well, we were in Elston weekend. We've got a really beautiful school community and every year there's sort of a grid of four streets that just go ballistic, so we sort of high tails are there after a little bit of a costume malfunction between the kids, and then and.

Then yeah, just crawl the streets and feel their little feet.

Hurt and they're full of sugar, and then head home again.

I at about the same time that you were doing that, I was receiving photographs of my daughter Peg dressed as Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks. Inexplicably, I mean, that is not a Halloween costume.

But whatever, you know, I don't think it matters anymore. I saw a lot of tradees.

There was lots of tradees.

Kid.

Well, can you imagine my horror?

I waited six weeks for a bespoke hoodie to arrive from America for this child. And the photograph I got from the mother that had assembled to look after her while I was at work and take a trick or treating. The jumper was around her way for you. I just pinch, zoomed, and I'm like, what is going on?

Costume?

Yes, we are sending you a two hundred dollars frank Green gift pack.

Let's go to Kate.

Hi, Kate, Kate going good. You're from Frankston.

Do you see tones and eye around it?

All? You know?

I'm South Frankston, But yes, I do see her down the beach occasionally.

There you go. I got one.

Finally, what did you do for Halloween? Kate?

Last night? Well? I dressed up as a Purge.

What's the Purge?

Ah? It's if you listen to the Purge song you'll know what it is. You'll have to go and have a listen to it.

So is it a band?

Even I don't even understand that.

It's just a horror movie. It's a Purge. You go and look that up. So I had I was sitting in home, I dropped the kids, dropped the kids off, so I was sitting under the I was sitting on the deck handing out the food. Then the kids decided they'd finished and they wanted me to pick them up. So I put my purg mask on, lasted the music

They didn't.

They actually ran from the car, so I followed them get in and we did it all the way home. They all their friends. I've got girls, so all their friends were walking past. They try to hide, like you can't hide.

You're in the car on the tape the way that you just described everything that went on and then said, oh, people looking at me like I was a freak. Do you wonder why?

I know?

It was fantastic. I loved it. I'm dressing up.

Kate's a vibe Kate.

We're going to send you a smart Sense blender combo from Mutual at, the number one personal blender brand.

Oh my god, it's just a word on them.

They are amazing.

I know you've got one.

Oh god, They're so good.

Now let's finish with the beautiful call of Trish Swanye.

Hi, Trishy, why are we talking to you?

Well, I don't want to talk about last night.

I'm going to talk about Wednesday night and gratitude.

Oh I love a bit of gratitude. How good does it feel?

You went to cold you cold Play?

It was awesome?

That's really awesome. So you won the tickets on this show that we gave away.

The very first day, Yes, in November last year.

Yeah, when they announced that the tour was coming.

Yes, and I'm just so grateful it was awesome.

Who did you go with, Trishy my twelve year old?

Oh God, so glad to hear it, and thank you for calling, Trisha.

It's nice to hear from people after they've been well.

It's really important to.

Say thank you, right.

The best time.

I had the best time fair enough, because it's really hard to have a good time with your kids sometimes, like.

To first ever concert and sang every word of every song and.

Absolutely loved it.

I'm just for amazing and I'm just.

So grateful to you guys for the prize.

And I thought, Trish, I get it, and I'm grateful to you for telling us because I've always said, twenty one years in this industry, my favorite part of it is giving, being able to give away these sorts of experiences, and.

It's just you know, sometimes people take take take, they'll never say that.

Well, Trisha, I want you to take take take even more.

I'm going to send you a smart Sense blender combo from Mutrable at the number one personal blender brand in the world.

Tisha, I'm going to give you the absolute amazing recipe for a vanilla thick shake that comes out of that thing like you cannot believe.

I want one now.

God's so good. The Chrissy Swan Show one Pass is now available at Priceline Pharmacy and Sister Cob members are getting exclusive access to boosted perks. Start your free thirty day trial today.

Learn more at priceline dot com.

Today U slash one pass tacuse eligibility criteria and exclusion to mine.

The Chrissy Swan Show.

And it is my birthday on Sunday.

I can't believe.

I know this is so cliche to say, how quickly are you around? I feel like it was two weeks ago. I was organizing a potato cake cake for you.

I agree, I agree. It feels like it doesn't feel like two weeks. I'm really gonna answer, I'm really going to interrogate. It feels like four months, Kay, three to four months. I can't believe a whole year has flown by one. It was a big one last year, it was a fifty. And you know accordingly, today, not one card, not one bunch of anything here at this building. Not one person has said happy birthday Sunday.

I think it'll be Monday, because Sunday you're closer we're closer to your birth on the Monday.

That's how I say that.

It's a convenient excuse, that's how that's what my approach is.

I'm going to give you and provide you with everything on Monday. I like it.

I'm thrilled for it. I'm not a greedy person, but I do love a birthday because it reminds me that I can see my friends. Do you know what I mean.

Yeah, it's a forced reason to do it.

Yeah, otherwise you just never do.

You just never ever do. You've got to teach your kids absolutely everything. And I realized a few years ago that includes thinking of thoughtful presence the people that you love.

And you are a great gift giver.

I really love giving.

Yeah, you're good at it. It's quite a skill. Yeah, I really think it is.

But it's an easy brain shift. Once you master that, bang go for it. So I wrote, tell me if this defeats the purpose, because kid, my middle son, he's a bit of a romantic. He's a bit like me. It's good at presents. Thinks about it, they mean something fine, peg practical, but always has an idea. Leo thinks that's not for him.

Just s if giving him in general.

Yeah, like I remember.

A fe few years ago.

I said, are you going to write me a card or just go and get me something? I said, it's not about the money. I'll transfer the money. It's about the thought. You've got to learn to think about others and what they like and pay attention. He looked to me like I had four heads. So he's still a work in progress. Anyway, I had to send him a letter to send back to me with the instructions. Leo,

Let's get that. Only fans and baby.

Thank you for that, Mum.

I've putting it in bit of self love.

As they say, time is money, and the more that you spend working, the less time you have for yourself. So this Saturday, here's the pincher.

This is from Leo.

This Saturday, I would like to offer you, Mum, two whole hours of my immense strength to august eyes and move some of the stuff that you've been winging about from the garage into the house. If I do that, you can save the six hundred dollars that you were about to pay the strangers on air Tasker. By doing this, you won't have to earn that six hundred dollars and you might actually take some time for yourself instead of using that time to work more to pay for the

Love Leo. What was his take?

I sent it to him on text with first the instructions read this and then when you've digested it, send it back to me. It had not landed on his phone for longer than one second.

At about straight back.

That kid did not read it, but see it tomorrow between nine and eleven.

Also, that is just divine manipulation from you. I love that so much.

Thank you.

That's how to parent.

You don't ask, you don't get.

Hey, next we're going to give away a Disney Line cruise in Chrissy and Jack's Voyage to Victory.

The Chrissy Swan Show, The Christy Swan Show.

You say tomato, I say tomato. You say voyage.

Jack says voyage to the Chrisy Swatshow let's get someone on this cruise Disney Cruise Line now sailing from Australia, Chrissy and Jack's voya. Yes, it is sailing from Australia. And when it goes, it says.

All's good.

That's the best impersonation I did.

That was the best one you've done this week.

Thank you.

Yeah, you've really worked.

On It really means something to me.

Thank you.

You are so welcome.

Biancha.

You stole this position from Mandy, who had done it two or three times. She was she thought she was home and host Biancha, But no, you are the carryover champ now anchor.

You and I are playing to get so you get one lifeline in this quiz. If you need me, you've just got to buzzing with your name and then you can just ask me for help.

Right, yeah, great, Alisha, you are mine.

Thank you.

I'm excited.

What's your favorite sort of Disney vibe?

I love all the princesses, do you?

Oh my god, you're going to lose your mind on this cruise. It is so PRINCESSI it's really good. You'll love it.

And guys, make sure you go and see mowana Io, which is in Cinema's November twenty eight.

Apparently it is incredible.

I love my obviously, I haven't seen the second one. I love the first one because it's gutsy and also it looks to me like there's real bodies in there. Yeah, okay, there's thighs and butts and it's great.

We love that.

And also I love a film with an elite soundtrack. So good, great as thank you. Our quiz master is in the studio swaning Hello, Tom, Hello, Hello.

How you feeling? Do you want us to speak quietly? Are you okay?

No?

I feel great?

Okay?

Have you come as Cruella de Ville today?

Potentially run us through what's happening? Tom?

Okay, we read. I think we should just do it, sho, just get into.

You need to know is that your names are your buzzers and get cracking ladies.

And that someone is going to win this Disney cruise line. There is no more carryover champions.

Is it stuff?

One of you is winning?

Question one?

Who voices the character of Elsa in Frozen Yaka?

Yes, Bianca, Dina Manzel correct, yes, or if you're John Travolted the great.

Okay? Question number two, This is for the win, Bianca. Where does Mowana live.

Ka?

Bianca's going all of four?

Yes, b Anchor.

Oh my god, oh my god, I'm shaking.

Oh my god, it's so exciting. Please tell me who else is going to be on your ticket?

Oh my god, my husband, who are two kids?

They're going to go nuts?

Oh my god, let me tell you, Bianca, did you know that you can put the kids somewhere and there's little adult areas where you can have proper drinks and stuff.

Don't tell me that I saw people.

I saw people enjoying themselves with my own eyes. And who's their favorite? Who are your kids' favorite characters?

My Sonny is watching the Classics at the moment, it's Jungle Book Underella, so you would not believe it.

Oh my god, I love this so much. You guys are just going to have the time of your life.

Please send us so many photos and videos Bank and we want to see what it's like.

Oh my god, I will thank you so much.

Congratulations and make sure you see my one or two which is in Cinema's November twenty eight.

The Chrissy is One show.

I've got some exciting news Chrissies Clique game. Oh my god, my boobs are tingling like the I can't see that you're making that up. Listen to those strings.

I never got on board with Game of Thrones.

Oh my god, I miss Shack. I think I was going through a strange time in my life because I remember that that sound was the sound of maybe I'm gonna be okay, maybe there is something to look forward to. And I think it's because I had three kids under three, right, and four jobs and including breakfast radio, and I would I think I want to say it was live on a Thursday night, okay.

And you would just hang out, you could watch it.

You could it was not bingeable like it is now. No, you had to wait.

I love that. That's like how'swives for me get to wait every week for.

So exciting and I reckon it's an important thing to try and get your kids into something they've got to wait for, because I don't have to wait for anything these days.

No instant gratification always.

Anyway, Game of Thrones is going to be made into a boovie.

That's massive.

I feel like going to the cinema now and waiting, just sitting there getting my favorite four throw from the back middle seat.

My swan.

It's in the early stage of development. You'll be sitting at that cinema for seven years.

Never get there too early day, you can never show your support. I want a crowd fund this thing. I don't know what episode the rare wedding is or what series. I think it's early on. Please promise me before we part ways, so in the next twenty years.

Yeah, okay, that I watched that that you.

Must watch up until that moment?

Is it?

La will?

You will never forget it?

It's the real hectic.

Yeah, I've heard of it, but it was so shocking.

I just don't think it's for me Game of Thrones, but anyway, Yeah, look, it.

Might not be. It might not be.

It's got some big words.

Now let's move on to a non celebrity click clickbait. Ossie divides with brutal message over revaulting act.

Oh.

I mean I'm there because I've seen the top of a bin and we are your one stop shop for bin content.

We love bin chat.

We don't like it when people get angry when you put your rubbish in their bin.

And I mean you are dumpster dive yourself.

I sure am. Oh my god, I meant to tell you. I was talking to Sarah, our boss. Dear listener, imagine this the madness of me talking to my boss, one of the most important people in this company. She calls me.

She called me, and I said, sorry, I can't talk now.

Why don't say because you're dumpster dive in. Oh, that's a new load for you, that's a new low.

Keeps me. I said, I'm pushing a mid century bed frame into my boot all on my own.

Can you imagine how hard that was? Had I got an injury.

Why are you she chunk out of my Was that from hard rubbish? Yes, well that serves you right. That is the world.

Yeah, that's the universe saying stop getting people's from their nature streep and putting it into your house.

You're never going to do anything with it. And also take Sarah's call. I did. I did take it, and I just told her that I was busy. I was busy, and I'd call her back and I did.

Booked and busy.

Anyway, I drove home with my face right up against the windscreen because the bed was behind my head. Anyway, how about this? A fed up homeowner in Perth has laid down the ground rules with dumpster divers looked to cash in on recyclable cans because in the wa and say you get cash for your cans.

Like the five or ten cents?

Yes, yeah right, And she wrote very very simply on the top of her weely bin and I don't want to cause offense to anybody in Perth, but I am going to do quite a strong accent here, please, she wrote in sharpie ten cent warriors, if all cans and bottles have been recycled.

And I have been off the pit.

The Crissy Swan shows well as the sun sets. On my fiftieth year. On Sunday morning, I wake up one hundred and forty five years old. No, it's my birthday on Sunday, and I'm really excited because I've I've taken control and I've planned the whole thing. Here's what I'm doing Sunday. It's well, I'm having two birthdays. Okay, I'm having Sunday with my mom and sister and my best friends, and then on Saturday, just me and my signets, my little babies.

And what are you doing on Saturday?

Waking up nice and early, It's going to be a warm and lovely day. We're going out for breakfast. I said to them, I haven't been out for breakfast for ages. And Peg said, well, we go to your favorite place, wink wink, And I said, yes we will. And she said do you think they will serve carbonara at nine am? And I said, I reckon, you might be in luck. Then we're coming home. We're going to do our two hours of heavy lifting of stuff for mummy. Go ahead.

Yeah, that's an elite day.

It's the best day.

And then I might finish it with Borat. Oh great love Borat.

I haven't seen that film for ages.

Oh God, it's so funny. I could watch it every day for the rest of my life. In fact, Kit and I probably do. It was the happiest day of my life when Kit, in particular, when I realized I was like, oh, you're old enough for Borat. Sit down, son.

Whack it on.

So funny.

Hey, thirteen twenty four to ten. Next increases Quizzy. We have our final invites to see this guy, the Kid the Roy live in Nova's Red Room. Jump on the line, and we should also mention here, Swani, I'm very proud of you that you made it to Coldplay last night.

I did it.

You saw some live music and those left in Melbourne, Sydney still to see the shows. You are in for an absolute tree sure Friday. Here on the Christy Swan Show, The.

Chrissy Swan Show, The Chrissy Swan Show.

You're listening to the Chrissy Swan Show on Nova, and that song my Friends is a banger.

It sure is.

Chrissy's quizzy.

It never fails to bring a smile to my face and I sing it very well in the Toyota.

Give us some live vocals.

Careda Tom can't even see.

Straight, he's a bit tight TI.

All right, well we digress. We're talking about Neo and Zum. Excuse because we should be talking about the kid LaRoy who is headlining a Nova Red Room exclusive invites up for grabs. It can only be you, Samantha or you Melissa.

Are who h yeah?

Yeah, let's pretend we're there and we've got our in butt, We've got our free drink.

Whoa Kate's going?

Everybody settled down, you know like they do.

The host, Yes.

Hosts, isn't she? I don't know who's hosting it? Who knows?

Maybe Meltrasina, maybe maybe Smallsy, maybe.

Smallsy the great Man.

Maybe it's you Jack and you're just hiding your light under a bushel.

Sarah and BT our bosses. If you're listening, can you please make me host so then you can fly me up to go.

I really want to see the kid Larroy.

And you know I haven't got my invite because I'm fifty one. Alright, Samantha, we see Samantha v Melissa.

May the best lady win your names, your buzzers.

It's the best five. Being the first person to get three ounces Crep wins the game off to see the kid LaRoy.

Black As is hosting.

I'm told, oh, perfect, what's your number? One? Who else features on the song? Stay alongside the kid LaRoy.

Guys, you can't be kid Leroy fans and not know this.

Come on, even I know this.

Is my daughter.

Justin bab oh.

Dear, there is going to be a revolt. Question number two. A big day for horse racing tomorrow, Derby Day takes place at Flemington Racecourse in Melbourne.

What's the dress code?

Melissa?

Melissa is black and white.

It is black and white.

Correct? Question number three? What does the QR stand for in QR code? God, we must have said this a billion times and I did not. No, never, it is It is a quick response. The quick response code makes sense?

Question number four.

Twenty years ago today, Siara released this song again, even Tom's flatlining and even he has to sound.

Do you know the name of the song Ladies?

It is, of course the Great one two Step Ah.

This quiz sucks.

Question number five in here does in which Australian state was the kid LaRoy Bourne?

You talked over them and I don't know who got in first?

Tom, who was it? Samantha, Samantha. I'm that's not a d's a city day?

Who gets that?

So we've got one point to Melissa, one point to Samantha.

Whoever gets this next question correct wins the game so that we haven't lost every listener.

That listens to this show.

They sound very similar, don't they?

They do which.

Car manifest So this is it for the win because Jack is done. Which car manufacturer makes a people mover called the Carnival? Amanda, Yes, Samantha for the Wina it is the key.

Well donelation, Samantha. You will be going to see the kid Leroy live in Nova's Red Room. It's Friday, and everyone is up and about and we're happy to be here.

And it's Alex Warren and Ellen Henderson who didn't get the memo The Chrissy Swan Show in our sometimes you know, X, oh, no, you've never had an ex partner.

I have had exits, and.

You know, and I've had nearly nearly beans and all of that. And some of question that people that want to be in your life often ask you is what are you thinking of? Like they might catch you, like, you know, at the kitchen table or sitting in the passenger seat of their car just looking outside, and they'll go, penny for your thoughts. And I've never known how to answer that, because my brain is an unusual masque, it's an unusual thing.

It could have been quite scary for some people if you started to run through and list what you're thinking.

I agree, but it's only because it's the only you know, geography. I know I'm very safe in there, but for most people it would be like, you know, walking through Gotham City at midnight with a bat on the loose. What I thought I would do is sometimes I go I can hear in my mind. There was an old song from the sixties called Windmills of my Mind. And I don't know why I know, because I wasn't even around in the sixties, but I think it's such an iconic song that it goes lag a circle in a spiral

No, I haven't, and.

I have, I guess sort of created the machinery, the technology for you to come inside my head, wow, and understand what it's like to spend a minute in there.

Would you like to come into this?

I'm scared, I'm reluctant, but let's.

Enter the windmills of my mind.

In the windows of.

My computer. Keyboard feels too small, Wabe, my hands are too big. He's Japanese washy tape, the same stickiness as masking tape. Linel Richie stares at his reflection in the mirror and says, I'm Linel Richie before he goes on stage. That's true, direct debits, hate them two Iesight goes downhill quickly. The Irish name Sirsha is spelt s Ao ri s e. The s must be pronounced. That's another Irish name. Duel chair, de leche structure, a tiller technically a cheese or is

Where can I watch Borat for free?

Wow?

In windows of your mind?

Do you think you know me a little better?

I think you have probably lost your mind.

I think us collectively today have lost both of our minds.

Anybody think like that? Because any does that relate? Do you relate to that at all? As your brain like that?

I want to say yes to make you feel better, but none.

Else is his.

Chrissy Swan show.

Now it's never ever too late to send us nasty messages.

Get on it, Chrissy's correspondence.

Jack, you are interruble. Why yesterday, Jack.

You said that anyone that dresses their house up in the theme like Halloween should be shot on site.

I think that was the word to you.

It's Jacky and I hate you well. Libby has a problem. She says, Jack, you are so wrong about Halloween decorations. How else do the kids know that you're okay to have trick or treaders? That is a good point.

She's got me there.

Well, also, how do you like disseminate that information? Because I went trick or treating with my kids when they were little. I didn't know that you only go to the houses that have got stuff out the front, didn't I know. I ended like walking down the wall wave an old man's hat. It was a hot day and the door was open, and I just thought everybody did, yeah,

You're not into Halloween.

That's a great point.

That's a real future by the point to me, old curmudgeon.

Anyway, she says, we only go to houses and have clear decorations. We don't want to bother the ones like you.

Well, babe, you will get into my apartment anyway.

Hate Halloween, don't hate Halloween. Hate decorations on people's.

Houses, so people can get into your apartment with the aberites guy that you force to take seven different flights of stairs and codes.

I hate having to go and meet them.

Another Halloween related message from Trevor. We need to do a whole phone topic on that. Another Halloween related a message from trev Trevor says, while listening to the show earlier, I was horrified to hear Jack say Halloween was American. I'm just imagining. I'm just imagining that. Trevor's like that, it's time to do summary.

Research, Jack, What is it? Where does it come direct?

This lack of knowledge on the origins of this entry. It looks like you've just had a work done, He says, Oil shoved no, showing he's clearly possessed by the devil.

Has something happened to Trevor.

He's like one of those gargoyles at the top of the building at the end of Ghostbusters, and that's what they say, Oil Shah.

I swear Halloween is America. No, I'm obviously wrong.

No, it wouldn't be. It's like Irish pagan Celtic. It's Celtic, of course, isn't it. I don't know, but this conversation, no I know, I mean what Trevor means, is you know, like Christmas isn't American either, but Santa Claus is a Coca Cola invention.

Got it?

Everything leads back to Moroca Miracle. We've been having lots of bin chats of late, and I am ashamed to say it.

I could talk about bins all day long.

Yeah, I really could.

You're obsessed with them, I know. But it's the best thing about living in an apartment, the bin shoot. I will forever live in an apartment purely to not have to walk outside to a bin.

I do love it.

When I go and visit the major on the Gold Coast, we've got a bin shoot and it just seems like we're so rich.

Chef's kiss.

Yes, you never have to tie the bag.

You I know, would never divide your recycling in your guard. But it all goes down and stay, which brings us to this message Lauren, because if no one can see you, what does the matter?

Correct?

I mean, what does your dad say, what does David say? Go to the same place anyway?

The same place?

Well, Lauren begs to differ because we had somebody call in and say that she was shamed. She had to go through her she got a note from her counsel saying, oh, you've put a bag in there, which I do all the time. By the way. Anyway, she says, you've got to be careful. You can't put the plastic bags in with the recycling because it means that entire load doesn't get recycled. Okay, fair enough, And she says she's a proud, proud.

Bin nerd that on your laws.

Let's finish with enjoying life. Enjoying life commented on a photograph of your gorgeous, shapely and tanned legs. Jack, Oh, that is you, isn't it. No?

I think they commented on you in the back because you were in the background. Wasn't it about you? Was it about me?

I just read the comment whose solarium does she use? And I thought it was talking about your legs.

I think it's talking about you in the back because you're so taed ha ha.

I would never use a solarium. I get my tan the real way, like in Bali.

The Crissy Swan Show.

If you're anything like us, you're still basking in the after glow of Coldplay. And if you're lucky enough to have tickets for the next shows, have the best.

Time Chrissy's click fait Ah.

Yes, Ed Sheeran, can I confess I love Ed Sheeran. Who doesn't.

I mean, it's just it's not possible not to like it.

No, especially in these corridors. Swanny, he's the god of Nova.

He's the god of Nova, but he seems like a thoroughly decent man. He does, and I obviously know all the words all these songs. I've never had to actually stream his music because I get six or seven songs a day because I only listen to Nova. Yes, I did not enjoy the names of his last four albums. Ah.

I did not like it.

The Plus minus subtract.

They just didn't.

Identify the songs in it. I don't know where shape of view is? Is that in subtract? Is it on?

Do you know what I mean?

That's fantastic point.

You're right, whereas like we know, don't panic is on? Parashis? Do you know what I mean?

You just sort of know you put the songs.

Absolutely stupid Girls by Pink It's on I'm not dead.

We don't talk about short Mendez later anyway.

He has said that all along that series of Plus and Minus and mathematical symbols was written on his body. He's got tattoos of those things, and then he used them on the albums he has said. The next series of albums, the next theme, yeah, are currently hidden Animalia style. Do you remember that?

I love it?

Oh my god, looking back now, I know that that was just my mum wanting to get rid of me.

Really, yeah, what do you mean if.

You give a kid animalia, you will not see or hear from them for two hours in the corners looking for the cheetah or looking for the jag.

Yeah, okay, sorry, palm tree quickly the two cares of an iPad back then exactly.

Anyway, it's somewhere on his body, and we're going to have a crack of deciphering this code.

But first we're gonna hear what he has to say.

So I got plus multiply divide and some tracks tattooed around my wrist.

Equals came in there a bit later. But the next symbols have been in my arm for thirteen years as well, and I saw.

That serious next year.

It.

I guess that's kind of prison break of me, isn't it?

Clues it is? Now I've got a few ideas. I can see the picture of a big lion head and the picture of a shark. So maybe it's after iconic movies. Maybe there's one going to be called the Lion King. It's one of be called called Jaws. You know, maybe that's the theme.

Yeah, he's also got photo frames on his back. Maybe he's going to name the albums after different photography brands like Kodak.

Callon Kodak sounds cooler than Hanna.

I know, I liked Kodak.

And what else have we got here? I know there's a little there's a few mentions of sauces here, heinz, ketchup, et cetera. Maybe it's a series based on condiments mustard, Ali, tributary salt. Salt's a cool name, salt pepper. I feel like that's been done before anyway.

I like this little tidbit Ed's given us.

I do too. There's a koala. Maybe it's animals koala keiwed. There's a kiwi there, New Zealand.

There's a gecko.

No animals feels a bit snaw. It's a bit kitty.

I could really play this.

Everyone.

Let's move on to sean At Mendez.

He revealed in a very long and labored monologue to a live show at Colorado's Red Rug that he still doesn't really know where he stands with his sexuality and not sure he's still working it out. Basically said, I was busy at fifteen when everyone else was sorting it. I was busy being a global superstar, and I'm trying to sort it out now. I kept on saying to you,

Because like being with someone in a heterosexual couple.

Yeah, for him to go on stage and say that, I can't imagine they would be together like it was quite It's just not something I think she would want.

Well, that's very old fashioned of you, because what's to say that she is not as equally progressive?

True?

Do you know what I mean? If she's the same and she understands what that.

Is, yeah, maybe she'd be down with it.

Yeah, I think so.

I think a lot of people these days, a lot of young people have been raised with that sort of tolerance and understanding. It's no big deal.

It's nothing they have to get their head around.

I don't think. But he sat down for an interview, and I always forget the specific magazine. This one's New York Times, and he said that Journo says, almost unprompted, Sean talks at length about Kebeo, whom he dated for several years, past tense. He says, you know that I'm learning about love with her. If anything goes, if anything went wrong with my family, she would be the first person I would call.

So they're still like best mates.

Then, well, I just love that because you know, friendship is the real superpower.

It is. It's the best ships.

You're my friend. You have the most beautiful weekend.

Thank you, I charline you as well have the best birthday. Enjoy actually eating at a restaurant. Christy Swie, be it at your.

House and I am making my triple layer coconut cake for myself.

You like me to bring some in?

Tom? Would you like some? I'll wake up Jesus christ.

Also the Races.

Yes, all right, I check our check there you Monday. The Christy Swan Show is a Nova podcast. For more great comedy shows like this, head to Nova Podcast dot com, dot a, you