Chrissie Reveals Her Tattoo Idea

Show.

Good afternoon, It's Jack with you on our favorite day of the week, Thursday.

Hope yours has been good. Hey.

Over the next hour, we're going to be talking about something that's happened at Chrissy's house. She actually made a confession about something she hasn't ever taught her kids to do, and it's.

Come back around to bite her on the butt. Don't you hate that.

We'll also be talking about Bruno Mars he's been in the news. But next one of my best mates and star of the Today Show, Sarah Arba, was going to stop by and we're going to pop her through a tight five.

The Chrissy Swan Show.

And we recently caught up with one of my closest pals and star of the Nine Network.

Sarah Arbo from The Today Show has stuck around. Thank you so much, Sarah.

We're going to see you pop up on sixty minutes again this year. Arba, Well, you're not sure, no, I hope.

So there are a couple of things cooking, but nothing in the immediate term.

Yeah, there'll be one or two through the year.

Ye have you got an exclusive with Raygun?

I don't know there are any exclusive left with her. Is there anything left to on earth?

I still love her so much. Yeah, I'm still obsessed.

I think that there's a level of obsession from everyone. It's kind of everyone wants to know. And we all thought she was going to be in the jungle. She's not in the jungle. It's like something around the corner.

The confidence is really extraordinary.

We did get her to do the kangaroo on our show, so I'm pretty proud of that moment.

Perfect Now whenever, I always give you a little google every time you're coming on the show, just to see if there's something that's happening. And the first thing that ever comes up with you is your extreme privacy. Oh did you know that that? That is the first and foremost the information that is out about you.

It is funny, Yes, apparently I like to keep my life under wraps, and you know, to an extent I do. I don't think everyone needs to know. You know what time I go to the toilet every day. It's just like they get enough of me in the morning.

See, I'm going to have to that question, Sarah. Let's get to know you a little bit better. I want to I want to kick things off. It's been bothering me. Do you own an udi?

What is that?

You?

Obviously don't. They like a wearable blanket and for me a sign of like if I put an ooodie on, then I am in and I don't care about myself.

I want one of those.

If you go on, Christy, I will get you one.

Yes, I've got an idea. You can get them with your AFL team on them. And Arbo's a big Collinwood goal.

Yes, let's get a magpie. Yeah, I came into it.

That. That's easy done. That's Tzzy done. Mine has the cast from Friends on it.

I'll stop it that too.

I've got an avocado one as well. All right, Next, do you have a New Year's resolution for twenty twenty five?

I hate them as well, Christy, like you do. However, I did promise myself that.

I would read more. Is that boring?

No, that's also on mine.

No, Jackie, I know, I know it's so boring.

But like, I've got my iPad, my mini iPad, so I've just downloaded a whole bunch. I've actually downloaded three books and I've started one of them, so hopefully I finish.

All three by the end of the year. That's not too much to us.

No, that's good.

That's it's good.

It's achievable, and.

It still leaves plenty of time for her to go out for dinner and drinks with you.

Just that, and also I still want you to watch TV shows and source good TV shows for us.

Okay, all right, yes, all right?

Next time?

Side are you on? These are the Blake, Lively and Justin bul.

Wow, we had a proper breakdown of this on this show actually this week.

There's so much we don't know, Chrissy.

Like, we had Aaron deertainment reporter in the US who was going through all the ins and outs, like literally in so much detail that I've never heard before.

And I think Blake might be in the right here.

It's just actors behaving badly.

Well, they just need to behave like the rest of us, right, We're all so well behaved, show mate.

We will not speak of it. Doesn't it remind you of when you know friends of yours get divorced and then they just completely descend into acrimony and you just want to go, guys, just pull yourselves together and just be adults.

Please stop being squabbling teenagers.

Did you have any posters of anyone on your bedroom wall growing up. I can go first if you want to, you want to feel better about it.

Oh, I almost think I was going to answer before you finish the question. Backstreet Boys, Hansen, especially Taylor.

Yeah, you're on a human No, No one liked to.

He was so hot and then he went way off the rails with his weird views and stuff.

But like he was just spunk back in the day.

And model Google, who is this?

We need to show Jackie a photo of him?

What else did he do? Apart from getting doodle out in a pair of calvins? I can't even remember. An actor, wasn't he?

I think he was an actor. I think he was in like a music video. But yeah, apart from being a model, I know very little else about.

Alrighty one last question, Swanny, what is.

Your most used emoji?

Oh?

I like this.

I actually think it's the face palm one.

I find out for sure, Hang on, it's the face part or the eye roll. But do you find out by sindy?

So if you go to your emojis, it's the top left. See mine's so boring. Mine's just the laughing face of mind. So is mine We're so basic.

And the next one down is, you know, the cute one with the hands out like.

Mind's the eggplant.

Watch The Today Show weekdays from five point thirty on Channel nine.

But we love you and we'll have you on a lot more this year, I promise.

Yay, thank you.

The Crissy Swan Show.

Swanny has recently got herself into a bit of strife at home.

I have three kids, and do you know what, I've made a rod for my own back not taught them how to clean up after themselves.

Yeah, no you haven't.

I haven't. Just you've got to teach them absolutely everything, and.

I've missed that. I missed it.

I've taught them a whole lot of other important things, like how to make an omelet, how to shop the wonderful cheese.

But surely they can watch TikTok videos on how to clean I'm always being served how to tidy and clean Mari condo like videos.

They didn't even I honestly don't think they even know that that's what happens. So I'm trying to teach them.

As in, they don't know things get tidied and cleaned vite.

Yeah, I see, they don't they don't know. That's a thing like I literally every time something happens like the aforementioned omelet, Yes, I'll come in ten minutes later and it's just the omelet's been eaten and someone's left the kitchen and I have to go leo slash k slash peg, come and have a.

Look at this.

And you can see here the eggshells, the bowl with the whisk. I'm thrilled that you use all of that.

But what happens now, well, they're like, well, looks like you best get to cleaning mom.

I know. And then I have to really bite my tongue and say, see this is what I mean when I say, and it's a recent concept. I understand you ought to clean up after yourself. So you've got to work out in your mind. Okay, do I clean as I'm making it? And why the sort of person that wants to leave that mess and enjoy my omelet and come back to it. You got to do something, But you got to do something. Yeah, you know what I mean.

Nah, They're like, we wait for mom to clean it up.

Can I tell you I left the house on Monday, walked out of the house five am on Monday, or Tuesday. I can't even remember the day. The house was spotless, the clean the cleaning had been done by me.

It was spotless, ready for selling sunset cameras.

Yeah, I could have sold. It's what I said to you. I could put it on the market. It looked so good, and that is good for my brain, so I know that when I come home, it looks good, and that's that. Then all my kids got sick whatever. By the time I came back on Monday afternoon, it looked like an army of raccoons had broken in. And I nearly wept when you walked in the door. Yeah, I nearly wept because I was so tired, and I'd worked so hard to get it to look all right, and it did

Did read it to me in real time. Yesterday, and boy did I love it well.

Because I didn't even know it was that funny because I meant it.

I know, but I just found it so funny because it was just so stern and savage, and I love it when you're like that.

When I left yesterday morning, they were all still asleep, and I just quickly recorded what the kitchen looked like, just went co documented and it was disgusting because I hadn't cleaned it up, the mess that they'd made good. I thought, stuff it, I said, Leo, I'm telling you this once. If the house looks anything like this in brackets see video below. When I get home, I am going to a hotel. And I didn't even think that

I was secretly hoping last night you were going to send me a selfie from like the QT or something.

And it is possible. I want to know I alone here thirteen twenty four to ten. Give us a call. What is the most unhinged, out of control threat you have made to your children.

You can be anonymous if you're embarrassed or if child services might.

Come after you should never be embarrassed.

But just for sharing it with us, we're going to give you a one hundred dollars voucher in the roundhouse and you can buy yourself some beautiful cutlery.

Yes, and you can eat off it alone in your hotel room.

The Chrissy Swan Show, The Chrissy Swan Show.

And we are currently in the middle of this.

You're just chuning in. Welcome, take a seat, make your coffee. But you would have missed a text message that I sent to my sixteen year old son, who was at home ostensibly babysitting my youngest child, who is eleven.

Good on your land.

Look. I got home and they were alive, which is great. Your house wasn't My house, look was not. And I sort of knew that would be the case. So I made sure Leo had a copy of a video that I'd made of the house of the kitchen looking disgusting by his own fair hand, and I just said, Leo, I'm telling you this once. If the house looks anything like this when I get home, I'm going to a hotel, and I bloody meant it, meant it, and it was a bonker's threat that I didn't have to follow through on.

But I would have, Jack, I would have. You know, I was at the end of my tether.

You were you were done.

Thirteen twenty four to ten, we are asking you, what's the most ridiculous threat you've made to your kid in the heat of the moment?

Leoni, what was it?

Christia?

Jack?

Oh, look, we made up this name for Bertha, and we explained to our kids that she's from the Naughty Girls Home and if they didn't improve their behavior, we were going to send them and so on numerous occasions, we've literally ripped the phone out and starts pretending to dial and they right, we're ringing Birtha now, and they just like sterical girl.

You know you did you ever have? Did you ever have a one sided conversation with Bertha? Like what just like Bertha, it's time?

Yeah, look, I'm sure we have. I haven't had to use it for quite a while because the kids are a little bit older, but yeah, definitely.

That reminds me. I've had one way conversations with Santa, and it looks like this like I've called and I've gone Santa, and these little faces just looking at me. I'm like, Saturday, it's not but we're going to have to talk about what's you know? How many how many many lumps of coal have you got? Because I'm going to need three three and maybe an orange and three twenty cent pieces and that's all they're getting for Christmas? Are you on the same page? And these little faces

We only that's a one hundred dollars out in the roundhouse for you.

Oh thank you.

Well dad, let's go to Amy Swami.

What is the funniest, most unhinged threat you've ever given your kids?

Well, I don't have kids myself yet, but I'm thinking of myself as a child. And I was a little bit of a cartwheel kid in the supermarket, a lolly kid, so always asking dad for lollies and cartwheeling down the aisle, a bit of youngest child syndrome. So Dad would threaten to throw me into the charity binness I was.

To play.

Amazing that is good because you would have gone on it. You can't do that and then you would have looked the charity bin and gone, hang on, that is a big drawer. I would fit in there.

Yeah, yes, it's quite the threat.

Amy.

We're going to send you a one hundred dollars voutcher for in the roundhouse for that. Well done, and we're finished with you.

Jilly.

Hello, Jill, Hello, how are we all?

What's the funniest threat you've made to the kids? Jill?

So, my threat to the kids was so I had three babies under three and a half, so it was pretty full on bath time. They would hop out and they would pick here, they would fight and all that sort of stuff. So to get them in order and get them dressed, I would always say, right, that's it. I'm going to jump in the bus. I'm going to get the empty the empty the bus, and it's going to take me all the way downstairs and down the

One hundred dollars out in the round house is on its way to you, Jill.

That's genius, huge Chrissy Swan show.

I hope you're having a nice Thursday. It's time for this.

Chrissies clique.

That's Bingo mass Oh.

We haven't spoken about him for a while.

We haven't, but he has got a couple of songs out at the moment, that one with Lady Gaga and the one with Rose. Yes, we're playing them all the time, so we hadn't disappeared. I sort of thought he had disappeared, and then he's all over the place. He's poked fun at the rumors that were circling last year about his fifty million dollar gambling debt.

I think I remember us discussing this at the end of last year, or maybe you and I spoke about it off air, because you said, what's happened d Pruno mask and we googled and that came up.

Fifty million dollars.

Like I have anxiety because I got a parking ticket a few months ago and I still haven't paid it, and I know that it's mounting. It's probably three hundred and seventy dollars.

Now, yeah, that'll creep up on you, and that.

I lose sleep over that. Can you imagine if I had a fifty million dollar gambling debt. I'm not saying he does.

He was.

He dropped a new single. We need to discuss the name of it.

What is it?

Fat Juicy and wet.

I don't think that. I don't think that's appropriate, don't you No, I don't fat juicy and wet FJW.

What do you think you could be talking about?

Well, obviously it's an I fill it ah, yeah, duh, because that's how.

You want them, fat juicy and wet.

Anyway, it's a racy track, apparent.

Would you rather fat juicy in moist? What's what's worse?

I think fat juice in web is pretty bad.

Having said that, that is what you want for a steak, isn't it? It's a racy track and he posted a cheeky message on his social media which included a plead to his fans to keep streaming his music because he wants to be out of debt. In no time, Okay, fifty million dollars. Hey, Speaking of Bruno Mars, an event planner from New York City called Marssy Bloom sat down on a podcast so American and it's so New York City,

Here, I'll tell you.

A story because I didn't never sign an NDA And we were working with jlel and Errod before they broke up, and we're going through a list of musicians and she goes, what about Bruno mi I as, I said, you just work with him and he's five Don't be ridiculous, I said, I'm telling you a million, five million, that's writer plus right at the night. You get forty five minutes, you get an hour, and you five.

Million for forty five minutes.

Absolutely not so what is he?

Oh?

Fifteen million? Five what's that? I'm not very good at maths, but.

We're in the wrong studio for that that's a lot of gigs.

Though maybe maybe he does have a gambling debt and that's why he's charging so much.

Five million though even for his friend Jaylo imagining they know each other.

You think, is this the song?

This is Fat Juicy and were Fat Juicy and Cookie?

So let me go up.

It's just gone three o'clock.

Hopefully you're just knocking off work, or perhaps you're on the way to pick the kids up. We are with you for another hour before Ricky leads him and Joel, and in that hour we must do sweeping statements. Swanny and I are going to share our unpopular opinions.

We're also going to talk about hot pilates.

A TikToker over in the States wasn't thrilled that a dude was in her class, and Chrissy and I have thoughts. Next though, Swanny is going to attempt to tell us a story about wanting to get a tattoo, but when her uncle is brought up, it's going to quickly go off the ales.

The Chrissy Swan Show, The Chrissy Swan Show.

And I think things are about to go off the ales.

You know what. I'm a stubborn stubborn girl, stubborn girl, and I was signed to here. Yes, I'm a stubborn girl and big girl too.

You're just stubborn the big girl.

Oh you Pat's youngest shir a big girl.

Girl.

Oh you Pat's youngest t shirt a big girl. We're talking about We're talking about tattoos. Yessach, Pete Davidson, gorgeous. Pete Davidson is getting all he's removed. Two hundred removed this, Yeah, two hundred tattoos removed one by one. Is that it really really hurts. And I'm like, I can never commit

And the one that I really shut down on it was an apple because that is boga.

I still love the apple, but I'm not going to do that. But tell you what I could get that will never go out of fashion? Obviously, A no is what.

Is just in nice script?

Oh you catch it?

Just the.

Just the words. I'm imprastination for you. He's sitting there. It's like seven thousand degrees middle of summer in brizzy.

This is what his uncle. For those that haven't heard this story before.

He's sitting on a covered veranda in some sort of vinyl couch with cracks in it. And I go over there and he's sitting there with a long neck beer. This is my family, and he's looking at me. Keep in mind, he's been hit by a tram.

Three.

He's been hit by a tram with his uncle, Joe. Dear old uncle Joe's been hit by a tram twice on different occasions. Actually, yes, like five years a party got hit by a tram once and it was very bad. And then he got hit by a tram.

Again in Brisbane.

Yes, in Brisbane. Brisbane used to have tramps.

Fun fact, didn't know that.

So he's been hit by a tramp. There's been some damage of some sort. Anyway, I'm sitting high fork in and he's shocked when he see he's shocked when he sees me. He does it like you don't want signfer When Kramer walks in.

A room, fully startled, and.

He goes because he probably hasn't seen he since I was in a nappy like one year old.

I'm about sixteen at this time, so not impressionable at all.

I don't worried about how are you.

He goes, he goes, are you Pat's youngest?

And I go yes, and he goes, Jitu a big girls.

Youngest crissy swan show.

It's Jack with you And if you are a pilates guy or gal, you're gonna want to listen to this.

I have uncovered an alarming trend.

Jack.

Well, it's not what you think.

I'm about to say that men are flocking to female dominated yoga and pilates classes. That is not the trend that is alarming. The trend that is alarming is that they're not welcome. Ladies are complaining about men in there, you know, in through the nose, out through the mouth kind of classes, and that makes me sad.

It feels harsh.

It does feel harsh.

You do pilati?

Yeah, I was King of the Reformer, mad for it, Oh, the.

King of the Reformer.

And how many men are in your like what's the ratio meant to?

So?

Like the other day there were three dudes including myself, and then probably seven chicks.

So I think there were ten of us, And.

Are you made to feel welcome or just like nothing? Do you know what I mean?

Like, well, I'm not okay, Yeah, I've always felt welcome. I'm respectful, and I'm not annoyingly loud, and I don't grunt. And I'm also the teacher's pet. The bloody teacher froths me.

So she just stands here and chats with me the whole time. So I think they'd be more annoyed than I.

Are you getting any work done? Or are you just like, oh my god? Have you seen the new trailer for the Cutter.

I'm trying to but she does a lot about chat.

Well, not the case in America. I have listened to this little piece to camera. Is lady recorded.

I'm going to say something about men and group fitness classes and pissed some people off, But I don't. Just took a hot yoga class and there are many guys in the class, particular man pushups before class started, heavy breathing, grunting, slurbing as water. It is a quiet, sand peaceful yoga class. It is seven in the morning. Why must you take up more space than you already naturally do? Why can you be seen and not her demire cutesye, you know,

It's annoying, and we are secretly.

Oh she's a bit annoying, secretly hate her. The problem I have with this is she said hot yoga. Oh it is peaceful and calm. It is not. You get in that room, you are fighting for your life.

It is a straight up hell. That's how I imagine hell to be.

I've done it once, shame, and I felt like my head was shrinking like that scene out of Beetlejuice.

You all of a sudden, did you have to walk out of the room or did you commit?

When you say walk out?

Does that? Does it count?

If I crawled?

I crawled on all fours through through the door into the bathroom, push the bottom of the door to get into the bar, and just lay on the cold floor.

How long into the class do you think that was?

I did it. I did it for a while. I was quite you know, crave. Yeah, but just say how long is the class? Ll for forty five minutes? I reckon. I did thirty, but it was uncomfortable and I was like short of breath. I'm that guy like I would be guzzling my water and going, ah.

Ah, you feel like you're at death's door. I'm impressed to you recently, Swany I did it last week with two of my mates, and I made it to the twenty two minute mark.

Oh my, that sounds familiar. I think I did the same.

I looked at my cause, I looked at my phone and I'm like, I just I've got to step outside.

And the teacher saw and opened the door for me.

The exercises themselves weren't what I was struggling with.

It was the heat. My head was spinning.

How hot is it?

It's like it's like one hundred degrees now I feel like it's only like thirty eight degrees.

I think we.

Should talk more about hot yogurt tomorrow and speak to people that don't want to die at the twenty two minute mark. I know, because it's the secret.

What's the secret?

Do you prep? Do you like super hydrate?

I was sucking back on my Frank Green the night before to ensure that I was hydrating. It didn't help, But okay, yeah, tomorrow, we need tips because I'd like to be good at it.

I would too, because I love the heat fine in far North Queensland and stuff. But put me in a Biggram studio in wherever and I'm dead.

The Chrissy Swan Show.

It is Thursday, which means we must do.

This Swan's Sweet Pea Steamers. Oh yeah, it's back back to twenty twenty five, our favorite segment and yours our This is where you get it all off your chest. You're not going to get in trouble for your unpopular opinion. We are all friends. What do they say on that Uber eat sat Charlie XX and Martha Stewart. We listen, we don't judge.

You listen and we don't.

And we don't judge. Thirteen twenty five or ten give us a call where all ears.

Kick us off for the use on our third year of sweeping statements.

Speaking of ears, mine has to do with the ears. The only.

I always get bess this word wrong.

The only ear buds okay, okay, headphones, earbuds. I don't want to say air pods because that's a brand name. The only things that you should listen to music yes through or have phone calls through your phone in your ears are are the ones that plug into your phone, corded ear buds for the wind. Don't give me. Don't give me the air pods. Don't give me ones that don't what I have, because.

I will lose them.

I will lose them.

That's a problem.

I will lose them. And then they run out of battery. And what are you going to do?

These ones? They plug in bank, never out of battery, never lost, They never fall.

Out, getting you the way of like your walk and strut though, and they're walking.

Yes they do.

When they're plugging into my phone, it's annoying because you have to like then strategically plug your phone into your pant bottom or yours.

You need a bum bag.

That's just never gonna happen.

So it's fright and center.

It's perfect, absolutely not. AirPods are fantastic and one of my favorite inventions.

Okay, good on you what some what's your.

My sweeping statement? Oh this feels a bit. I don't know if it is that unpopular, but I think it is. I don't think we have.

Enough billboards in Australia.

I agree.

I was driving down the Peninsula a lot over the summer, and every time I saw a billboard I found myself getting excited.

I love advertising. I love what they do with them.

So do I.

And it's such large forms. Creatives can get really great, really good, and when you see a good one, you get so excited. Like on the way home from the airport, I saw the Specsavers ad. It's fantastic and it says welcome to Sydney and you've arrived in Melbourne, and then in Sydney it says welcome to Adelaide or whatever. And for a minute you get that oh my god panic and then.

You go, ah, you got me, you got me, your cheeky respect say this.

I agree there should be more, and I think it.

Helps people like stay alert on the road when you're driving, because it kind of grabs your eye.

But I know most people I would be like.

Money from the don't listen to them. Advertising makes the world go.

Absolutely.

I want our freeways and highways to look like Times Square.

Agree.

If I was the Prime Minister, that's what I would.

Do The Chrissy Swan Show.

First, we're going to do this segment where Swanne and I discuss everything we didn't get to over the summer break y ey.

We have so much to discuss with Chrissy and Jack. Oh yeah, so much to discuss. Start using that because it is a great phrase.

We have had six weeks apart, and all week we've been doing this, and quite frankly, we could do it all month with the amount of stuff we missed over the summer.

Break one hundred percent.

I've had a rolling note on my phone and I've been meaning to discuss with you your favorite words. You're right, Jack. Last year you said that you'd read a thing on Dourmoir, which is a fabulous instant account that we both.

Follow, Celebrity tipoffs.

Celebrity tipoffs secret I know who run it blind lines. It's sort of like a guest who don't sue sort of situation. And you revealed last year that someone said that Rihanna actually can't sing anymore and that is why she's concentrating on makeup and hosiery. I think it is, you know, And.

There was a hair product taking there was there was an.

Entire hairline, but no concerts and no singles, and we were like, of course she can still sing. Just before Christmas, some footage came out of Rihanna in a karaoke bar in New York City? Is that right in New York City, which is where our friend Lauren Phillips ran into her as well recently.

I know lots of Jason Lauren fame had a full night with bad Gallery.

Added New York City bar.

I mean must like these.

That woman can attract a star, Lauren, and sure can.

I wonder if if she heard Rihanna singing like this, she tries, I cannot believe it, because we've got what that song sounded like when we heard it on the radio. Never do you. It's so good, so rude, but it makes me feel better.

Oh wow, isn't it gold? Wow? Swanny Well, speaking of terrible singing.

Yeah, our gal Katie Perry released a special edition of her album one four three.

I really thought that she was back from the brink when she performed at the AFL halftime. She was really great, and I thought she's back.

And I want her to be back because I love the back catalog and I do actually like Katie. There's a song on this extended version, so she adds three

Because we're not giving.

It's not.

He's not even heard singing.

Look, it's not great. I feel very bad judging people for songs when I can't write a.

You're not trying to do global tours. You're not trying to say that you're an acclaimed singer.

That is horseshit.

Christy Swan Show Who is a Nova podcast. For more great comedy shows like this, head to novapodcast dot com dot a you