A Look Back At... Sweeping Statements PT.2 - podcast episode cover

A Look Back At... Sweeping Statements PT.2

Jan 13, 202515 min
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Episode description

We did say it was everyones favourite segment. Of course we had to do another round of some of our best controversial takes.

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Transcript

Speaker 1

This is the Chrissy Swan show.

Speaker 2

Let's get unpopular swans sweeping steamers. Oh yes, what is something that you have believed for a long time but you almost don't want to say it because you know that you might well be on your pat Malone.

Speaker 3

Right, we're so cranky today that we're kicking the show off with sweeping statements.

Speaker 1

I had three did, and that's unlike me. I don't know what to go for. I know that we did talk about food courts.

Speaker 2

I'm going to change it up, okay, because I've got a new one that I haven't told you, And it goes like this.

Speaker 1

If you're in a car park.

Speaker 2

And you see an empty space and you decide to pull up past it and reverse in, you can go to hell.

Speaker 3

Why what sort of animal drives front on?

Speaker 1

Every one?

Speaker 3

Drive?

Speaker 1

That's the point?

Speaker 3

Go back. You should have your license taken off you. If you can't reverse park into a car park.

Speaker 1

Spot, I beg your pardon.

Speaker 3

You should have your license.

Speaker 2

No remove No, I'm not talking about the ones where you're I can't think of the word talking about the ones where you're pulling in.

Speaker 3

Yeah, but I always I always reverse in, I drive forward and reversing in so that when I go, it's a lot easier.

Speaker 2

What about the people that are waiting and think that you're moving into the park, but no, I'm moving forward, And then they move forward because that's what a normal process is. And then they've got to reverse up because you want to reverse in.

Speaker 3

No, you put your indicator on and your wait eight seconds.

Speaker 1

Parking goes nos.

Speaker 3

First, no end of disagree.

Speaker 1

You can go to hell.

Speaker 3

Go to hell. Can we have a car parking brawl? If you and I met in a car park, it would go I'll.

Speaker 2

Tell you what that's happened to me twice this week, and the next time I'm hoping it's you. I'm hoping it's you because I am ready to go.

Speaker 3

Okay, this is my sweeping statement today. You're gonna not lie.

Speaker 1

Oh great.

Speaker 3

I think the most disgusting food texture there is is an omelet. They are vile. Why would you want to put that texture in your mouth? Someone? I had a bite of someone the other day and I'm like, actually, at the age of twenty seven, I've just realized how disgusting omelets are. Yuck, poach it or scramble it and have it on some sourdough, just that omelet texture in my mouth? No, thank you?

Speaker 1

What was it? Who made it?

Speaker 3

The cafe? They're just they're awful though. I just had that. It came to me.

Speaker 2

Well, look, you're entitled to that opinion, but you're wrong. What is your sweeping stamond? What is your unpopular opinion?

Speaker 3

Make us angry? Let's make Swan angry.

Speaker 1

Today because I feel like we're angry now.

Speaker 3

It gives me life.

Speaker 1

The Crissy Swan Show. Let's bring the mood weed down Swan's sweeping statement.

Speaker 2

Oh yeah, this is where you have a full skirmish, a fisticuff with the entire population that does not agree with you.

Speaker 3

You and I just had to fight in the song about your sweeping statement because it's ridiculous.

Speaker 1

I really think that you are so entitled.

Speaker 3

No, I'm correct.

Speaker 1

Your time is better than my time.

Speaker 3

If you six seconds. It's how a car park works.

Speaker 1

No, it's not how a car park works.

Speaker 2

They're designed to go nose first, get out of the way. Everybody is going shopping and needs to get there.

Speaker 3

Look at our instagram at the Christy Swan Show. If you'd like to see us off air fighting.

Speaker 2

What is your sweeping statement you're on pop of your opinion thirteen twenty four ten High Caf.

Speaker 4

By Christy Hijack, How are.

Speaker 3

You going good?

Speaker 2

Yours has got to do with cyclists, which happened to be a subject of much rage.

Speaker 4

As just like you, Christy, how you hate people that reserve his car park. I'm actually with Jack and I reserve all the times. However, the cyclists on the road bicycles should pay for registrations. It drives me insane the amount of times you have to stop let.

Speaker 5

Them go past.

Speaker 4

I just want to run them over. See.

Speaker 2

So there's like two types of people one that caesar cyclist and feels rage and then me, I don't even really, I don't even notice them.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I'm with you, Catherine. Even driving around the lake on the way to work today, I was like, mate, move to the left. I'm like, you're going to get clipped.

Speaker 1

No, but they're a vehicle just like us.

Speaker 3

No they're not.

Speaker 6

They are they need to pay registration.

Speaker 1

Here's but what about pedestrians.

Speaker 2

Did they need to pay registration or do they have a right on the roads as well?

Speaker 3

But then't walk on the road.

Speaker 4

Cyclist take up room on the road where We're paying thousands of dollars car registration and I just want to run them over.

Speaker 6

Just say.

Speaker 2

And you can't keep saying you want to run them over, and you can't say that.

Speaker 3

Price like farbacy voucher for you, Catherine, and leave you to chat to someone as well.

Speaker 2

And maybe I need to stop saying anybody that refers parks into a car park space can go to hell.

Speaker 1

But I do mean it. Hi, Kylie, Hi.

Speaker 4

Jack, Hi Chrissy.

Speaker 1

How are you so good? And you're so bright and bubbly, Kylie?

Speaker 7

That's me. I love your show, listen every day.

Speaker 1

That means so much to us. But what do you think about children?

Speaker 7

Yes, well, I'm really not fond of people bringing their children when you invite them for dinner. I advices all night. You try and have a conversation with them, and they're not interested.

Speaker 3

So what's your what's your sweeping statement? I don't like.

Speaker 7

Children on their devices at the dinner table.

Speaker 3

I think that's fair.

Speaker 1

I think that's fair.

Speaker 4

Like breakfast.

Speaker 7

Time you invite guests for breakfast, they bring their kids, that's fine, that's great. They're always on their devices even time.

Speaker 2

I mean, having said that, it is a good thing to bring. If you're the parent and you want to talk to your friend who's the other parent.

Speaker 3

Yeah, okay, because.

Speaker 2

You know, and it's terrible parenting, but we've all done it. Once they've got a device, it's like you're on your own yourself.

Speaker 1

Yeah yeah, but.

Speaker 2

I do understand, Kylie. And then they get this weird zombie face. That's what I've been calling it at my house. I'm like, look at you. You look like a zombie and.

Speaker 1

I'd like to hear that.

Speaker 2

And I'm trying to guilt them into living a life instead of just endless.

Speaker 3

YouTube show some emotion.

Speaker 1

Correct. Hello Amanda, Hi.

Speaker 5

Christy Hijack, how are you good?

Speaker 2

Well, we're good, But I feel like you're about to say something very controversial.

Speaker 1

Mandy.

Speaker 5

Yes, I do hope that you can end an ongoing debate between me and my girlfriend.

Speaker 1

Yeah, we love this very talk back.

Speaker 3

Today's I'm here for this.

Speaker 5

So her sleeping statement is that Purple Rain is the worst song ever.

Speaker 1

Cool.

Speaker 5

My statement is my counter to her is that Mantle belongs to Slice of Heaven. Oh, please discuss.

Speaker 3

Wow.

Speaker 2

I think I mean, look, I don't want to add a third song into the mix, but I think you've forgotten um Blue Dave Night, clearly, clearly the worst song ever.

Speaker 5

Well, we cannot even listen to her musical taste because her favorite song happens to be Cottnye Joe. So she can't be taken seriously.

Speaker 1

No, she cannot. She points to your friend Peter.

Speaker 3

Priceline pharmacy voucher to you, Amanda.

Speaker 2

The Christy Swan Shows, The Christy Swan Show.

Speaker 1

It's time for this Swans sweeping statements.

Speaker 2

You know last week's sweeping statement where I said, if you're the sort of person that backs into a car space, you can go to hell.

Speaker 3

Week before week before.

Speaker 1

It continues.

Speaker 2

In fact, in tomorrow's correspondence there's another final word.

Speaker 3

There is not a final word. Nobody is on your side, and the three messages you've received people are one true. I will go through every TikTok and Instagram comment with you. I'm sorry, Swanny, You're just wrong, La.

Speaker 1

La Lay twenty four ten. What is your unpopular opinion? What is your sweeping statement?

Speaker 3

I've got one kick us off, Swanny.

Speaker 1

I've been sort of brewing this for a while.

Speaker 2

Things have been annoying me. Every time that you say, oh God, that that person's not my cup of tea. Someone you know has written read a book on psychology and suddenly they're a clinical psychologist and they can diagnose everybody, and they'll be like, oh, they're a narcissist.

Speaker 1

Oh that's that's that's the trauma talking. And I saw a post on.

Speaker 2

Instagram that said this, everyone you dislike who is sometimes selfish is not a narcissist. Having needs doesn't make you codependent.

Speaker 1

I love this.

Speaker 2

One disagreement is not gaslighting, and feeling sad is not depression.

Speaker 1

Amen.

Speaker 2

If I want a diagnosis of anything, I go to a medical practitioner or a psychologist or a psychiatrist, someone that has studied these things, not someone that's listened to mel Robins.

Speaker 3

Fantastic point, Swanye, But I need to get back to the root of this segment. What is your sweeping statement there?

Speaker 2

My sweeping statement is everyone you dislike who is sometimes selfish is not a narcissist.

Speaker 3

Great. I love it. We need to work on what an a sweeping statement is for you, because that was like an essay you just read.

Speaker 1

That makes sense to me.

Speaker 3

A sweeping statement is a strong, short, concise statement. Al Right, what about this you go.

Speaker 1

I'll take my diagnosis from some one that studied it.

Speaker 3

Done. Okay, my sweeping statement, if.

Speaker 1

You haven't done a degree in it, I don't want your opinion.

Speaker 3

Got it? Good? Good? I can't believe I'm turning into this dude. But my sweeping statement is Cold Plunges and Ice Barts Rock. I know I hate myself, but I know I did one earlier this week and I loved it, and it was awesome and I got the euphoric rush people talk about after it. My skin felt amazing and it was like all taught. It was just a real vibe. And I went back and did it again. What because I felt like, I'm like, oh, I need.

Speaker 1

That one to say that again. It's the ice spark.

Speaker 3

From Cold Plunges and Ice Barres Rock. I'm going to turn into Joe Creasy and like an ice bar it's going to become my whole person.

Speaker 2

I think he's off it now, you know it's only a fake a Creasy Swan show. I love this segment because it gets me fired up and it makes me laugh.

Speaker 1

Two of my favorite themes Swans sweeping statements.

Speaker 2

Now, I'm not very good at formulating the sweeping statement. You've pointed out, So what about this? Okay, here's my sweeping statement.

Speaker 3

Jack, Oh, I knew this was coming.

Speaker 1

Go if no, No, I'm really trying to be a good girl here.

Speaker 3

You're going to say if my name is on the show.

Speaker 1

Oh yeah, we see. If I would, what about this? How does this go? How does this fly?

Speaker 2

If I want to diagnosis of a personality disorder, I'll go to a professional.

Speaker 3

Yeah that's good, But I think for this set, particular segment, the way we would slightly change that is, ye, if you are someone that gives out diagnosis and is not and he's not a medical professional, stop like because we need to we need to target it. Do you know what I mean? Great? I like that. I like it.

Speaker 1

You know what I mean?

Speaker 3

You know? I totally get your sentiment and you are spot on. Thirteen, twenty four ten. What's your sweeping statement? Everyone that gets on air with us this afternoon will win a double pass to Saturday Night, which is in Cinema's October thirty one movies.

Speaker 1

Hello, Hi, how are you guys?

Speaker 2

We're really good and I feel like you're really gonna set a cat among the pigeons here.

Speaker 5

Yeah, my sweeping.

Speaker 6

Statement is that people without kids should not be giving you parenting advice.

Speaker 1

Ahmen to come in late, and I'll tell you that too.

Speaker 3

Really, yeah, I sometimes give you advice though.

Speaker 1

Now, no, you don't. Not about parenting.

Speaker 5

Never needed.

Speaker 7

It's never needed, honestly, unless of my haus kids.

Speaker 5

I'm like, okay, yep, I'll take it.

Speaker 7

Otherwise it's just yeah, it's just irritating.

Speaker 2

Sometimes nothing drives me more crazy, Like would you ask a twelve year old for advice on how to drive a car?

Speaker 1

No, they've never done it.

Speaker 3

Fair point, Susie. What's your sweeping statement?

Speaker 6

So, my sweet hello, my sweeping statement.

Speaker 5

Hello.

Speaker 6

People listen to their devices on aeroplanes without headphones are.

Speaker 1

Very very rude people, Susie. I recently went to Bali with my mum and she dist.

Speaker 6

That and oh sorry Christy, Oh no, no, I was.

Speaker 2

Horrified too, And I sort of looked at her across the aisle and I was like, oh, does she not realize or maybe she's just taking a bit of time to pop her headphones in or whatever. No, And I had to say to her, Mum, you.

Speaker 1

Can't do that.

Speaker 3

And how did Patty take that? Did she listen? Oh? Yes she did?

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah, thank god. But yeah, why would people do that? That means that everybody has to listen to what you're listening to.

Speaker 5

Oh yeah.

Speaker 6

We had a flight on Saturday, all the way from Singapore to Sydney and there was a little girl. She was with her parents and we were like exactly like you, like, surely they're going to ask her to put her headphones in.

Speaker 3

Okay, there is an example where I can give out parents in advice. If I'm not a parent, surely I can say, listen, kid, put some airports her headphones.

Speaker 1

And that's just civic opinion.

Speaker 2

That's not well, if I were you, I would make sure that they ate their snow peas before they got their bonoffy pie. You can jam that kind of advice because you don't understand how much I've been trying to get the snowpeasy.

Speaker 3

I can give the advices as like chucks and their headphones in and shut up.

Speaker 2

Yeah, because that's just like, you know, a person to person thing. That's not parenting.

Speaker 3

That's not Yeah. Okay, let's finish with Tyler.

Speaker 1

Hello, Tyler, Hi, Tyler, what is your sweeping statement?

Speaker 5

My statement is if you can't handle spicy food, grow.

Speaker 3

Up Well, I feel attacked.

Speaker 1

Tyler Oh, I love spicy food.

Speaker 3

Grow Up.

Speaker 1

Chrissy Swan Show is a Nova podcast.

Speaker 2

For more great comedy shows like this, head to Novo podcast dot com.

Speaker 1

Are you

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