This is the Chrissy Swan Show.
I have polished up my crystal ball.
Spexsavors is helping Chrissy with her mystical visions.
Should have gone to Specsavers.
Natas Screen.
Christ.
Hi, Hello, how are you with Airy Fairy? I just want to say, straight off the bat, you are a very punctual woman.
Oh. I don't know if my teachers say that, but I think I am. I like to think I'm punctual.
Well, the word that came to mind was late, and I thought that meant you're never late, But maybe you're always late.
I get there eventually, people know I'm on my way. That's yeah, you're right.
So she was wrong, and you're always late. Not punctual you.
I see the words hard to find, and that means that you love online shopping.
Absolutely guilt free.
No, I can see me.
You the best cash there is.
I can see abandoned buildings around you, Tash. Are you like an abando sort of hunter?
I like going bossy king like three, But I don't have any around me as such. But I travel to go to those.
Random property Wow, what's that called? There's a name for that.
Yeah, I don't know, but I love it too, And there's this one in arra Rat in Victoria that I desperately want to go to an asylum of diner.
You are one out of the way to Woodford, but anyway, good?
Oh is there one out the way to Woodford? Okay, I'm going to google that. You like essential oils, particularly the calm ones on lavender. Yes, lavender?
Yeah?
Oh, Chrissy, Tash, there is a secret around you.
You're cheating on your partner.
Not wrong. Sorry that was punctual, wasn't it.
There is something secret though, Tash. There you've got a secret or maybe you were a secret.
Yeah.
There's a lot of secrets around my life.
But personally, yeah, give us one, like in what kind of area?
Oh no, there's so many.
But physically.
I might be aging faster.
Than I want to be, and that is a secret.
Yeah, I'm going blind my eyes.
Oh I should have gone to Specsavors.
Mate.
Well, you're going to love this price now.
Also, Tash, I see a big basket of odd socks and they're driving you crazy on my pool table.
I have kids, I have boys. Yes, you're in my house, Chrissy. I'm walking around looking now.
All right, I am going I'm gonna give you one big hit.
Chicken nuggets are life?
Yes, after school, and even maybe I do that while they're at school. Yes, yes, Well.
Can I tell you? Can I tell you my secret?
A couple of weeks ago, I ordered two boxes of forty nuggets each at.
The drive through And did you eat the more yourself?
No?
I ate one in the car with the kids, and then I froze another one because they go, what now I.
Want to cry? Nuggets?
Well, Tash, I know it's sad that you're going blind, but the good news is you've got a VIP Specsavers voucher for one pair of glasses or sunglasses and two hundred and fifty dollars cash.
Ah ah.
The Chrissy Swan Show, Let's do this.
Specsavors is helping Chrissy with her mystical visions.
Should have gone to Specsavers.
I have a spec Saver's update.
Oh yeah me.
Yesterday I said on to do list Tuesday, drop my specs in my brand new blue slash green speck that I stood on. Got a text message ready to be picked up.
Mate. They would have just chucked them in the bin and got your brand new Pairchrissy Swan.
Can't turn it around that quick, Maite. They're the same glasses. Those people are mystic themselves.
Because you've got your special lenses and stuff.
Correct.
Wow, I love this. Who is in your office today?
Hello Amanda, pull the curtain back and take a seat in my cane chair.
Hello Chrissy, Hello Jack.
Hello Amanda, Amanda, Jane.
Clarus again, my sisters. My sister's ne he named Jane.
Amanda Luise.
Clors. That's with an el. You're on the right track, Lee, Yes, oh.
Amanda. Why am I seeing the word.
Grumpy Because I just got back from Bali.
And you wish you were their slummered puggy Amanda slummer Peggy, that's it.
What did she drink in Bali?
Ah?
She drank.
You drank a lot of mahidos though specifically yes.
I did lots of mahidos.
Good thing about them is you pay a fortune. There's no booze in them.
Okay, Now I can see a big box of bi carbsider. You're mad for buy carpsider or someone is, maybe your mum. You use it to clean everything everything. All roads lead to buy carp Oh, I've got some rust on my fridge.
You know what'll get that, Amanda, buy carp.
Maybe it's another white powder.
Please don't do that in Bali, you'll.
It's not me, but maybe my mom. She's a clean free.
Yeah, you grew up near a house that should have been condemned, or maybe it was your house.
I grew up near a house ye falling.
Down, spooky Boo Radley Starr.
Very spooky and all the kids used to play in it.
In your house, in a spooky house. Oh that's epic.
Good for spinn the bottle though.
Hey Amanda, Yes, there's a redundant around you, whether or not you want one desperately because you hate your job, or somebody's just got one.
I want one.
What field of work do we think Amanda works?
And mister Chrissy, it's clerical offhicey correct, God, I can hear you hate it. You have an aversion to pigeons. Don't like pigeons or birds, the wings spooking.
My sister hates birds with a passion, and we always find it funny when we throw like chips at the seagulls and they come near her.
And she goes.
Yeah, she runs away screaming.
She doesn't like pigeons. She doesn't know, but she does like the sound of music, and so do you. Amanda the film I love musicals, No.
The sound of music, specifically Maria von Trapp.
The session's over, mystics TapouT.
That's West Side Story, wicked.
Give up.
You have one a VIP Spec Savers voucher for one pair of glasses and two hundred and fifty dollars cash.
Don't stomp on them.
I won't them.
Also, Amanda, I hope you quit your job soon.
I hope so.
The Chrissy Swan Show, the Chrissy Swan Show, Let's get all mystical.
Specsavers is helping Chrissy with her mystical visions.
Should have gone to Specsavers.
First of all, these are the Specsavers. Did I tell you that the fancy blue slash green glasses that I stood on, like stood on until they became like an opera pair of glasses?
Yeah, the magicians at Spec Savers fixed them.
Fix them.
I knew that.
I told you that, But you know, everybody listens to every minute there might be someone going on what.
Happened to those classes were fixed? Hello Alexis, Oh, Hello, Chrissy, straight away, straight away, the mystic juices are flowing. Alexis.
You are known as very out going. It's a word that is used about you.
Oh, it has been in the right environment.
Yes, yes, And you are not easily embarrassed.
If you ask my children, they would say that, Yeah, I like to dance when I hear music in the shop.
Yeah, right, me too.
Are you are drunk?
Is your favorite? Is your favorite disco? The supermarket? Because it is for me.
Yeah, I love a supermarket, I love a shopping center, just anywhere.
And yeah, Cole's radio slaps man.
It's the best.
Don't go to clubs anymore. So that is my music.
You are putting off an important appointment, Alexis, stop it.
Well, I mean I'm well overdue for an eye check, you know, hence the call Christy. Well, I need to get down to spec safe.
Don't put it off anymore. I'm not saying that there's glack, Homer. I'm just saying, don't put it off dark. Hey, you've been annoyed. You've been annoyed royally by an old school friend.
I don't know about annoyed. I have just today I'm moving house and I'm moving back to Melbourne, and I'm moving back to the hood of school friends. So I am seeing people I haven't seen for a.
Very good We'll be careful because you're about to be annoyed by one of them.
Oh no, I know what it is.
One of them's a dropper in r and you'd rather die?
I would?
I would?
Yes, Yeah, nip that in the butt. I've got a couple more things here.
You've been a member of a cult, and by that I mean something like an essential oil cult where you're like, you know, buy one, go on free.
I'm thinking do Terra tupperware, something like that.
Do we call?
Yes? We do?
Yes.
What's your most recent team we purchased? Being Alexis, I.
Bought a whole lot of dog pooh bags and dog poo carriers.
See, and that brings me to my It brings me to my last word, which is you are very messy.
I see, I see the word messy.
Look normally I'm actually really clean. But literally I am sitting on a box in my new place with crap everywhere, and that's what I see.
Or maybe you're a messy drunk. I don't know.
Get off that box, Alexis and head into your local Specsavers because you have a VIP Specsavers voucher for one pair of glasses and two hundred and fifty dollars cash.
Also was Ellie Goulding.
Ellie Goulding that had shared wrote about check. The Chrissy Swan Show is a Nova podcast. For more great comedy shows like this, head to novapodcast dot com.
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