This is the Christy Swan Show very much to talk about contraception, and that song, interestingly enough, is my contraception. You're listening to the Christy Swan Show on Nobody I do, and I love that song.
It just upsets me that Currel's on it.
Just usess you when classics are covered, I feel like a lot of them need to be left alone. And but Cyril is particularly pre He just rolls a wheel and goes, oh yeall.
Sing that that was around in the seventies or eighties.
I'll remix that. Yeah, who is he? What does he look like? He's a DJ?
Does he have a face?
Yeah, let me show you. I'll put him in front of you right now.
Yeah, let me have a look.
I seen him because I imagine him always very shady. He's got he's covering his eyes. He doesn't want to be recognized. I wouldn't either, not what we did, after what he did to the Smoky and Susie Quatro song.
All right, let's move on.
We're talking about the birth control pill, which is really a mine field.
You know, if you're when you're in a relationship with someone.
Because if you've decided that you don't want to have kids. You've had that conversation, then you need to believe that that is the truth and that the pill is being taken or administered or whatever.
Oh absolutely, because otherwise that is that could really take your life in a path you were not expecting.
It's massive, trust, isn't it massive? Massive?
Anyway, the tables have turned here because on Reddit, my favorite little scrolly sart, this guy is saying, am I the bad guy for sneaking birth control pills into my wife's food and drink? I mean, I don't have to read anything more to say, yes, you are, Yeah, you don't.
You don't do that? No, why don't you start with a conversation.
I feel like that's almost probably illegal, I reckon.
Anyway, He goes on to say that he's been married to his wife for a year. She was vaguely mentioning that she might like children, and he panicked, and he said that he, you know, got some birth control pills on the way home. I don't know how a man will get them, but anyway, you know, it's America.
You never know.
There's a Black Martin for every black market for everything.
And there's also a Black Martin for everything Black Martins.
I don't know where Martin came from. There is a black market for everything.
Martin says, don't don't you know, don't criticize the way I make money.
Leave Martin alone.
Anyway, It turns out this guy crushed up some birth control pills, which it's very hard to crush up a birth control Marvelon's not Marvelon Marvelon's I've.
Never seen one. How big are they? Is it like a pan at all?
Well, it depends.
No, no, no, no, they're tiny. Oh yeah, you can dry pop them even people. Yeah, they just go down.
That's a skill you've really lasted.
Yeah, I've taken a lot of birth control pills in my time anyway, know that they're different sorts. So there's ones that you've got to take every single day, and then it's like a cycle, and then it starts again, and then there's sugar pills, and then they're sort of the freeish ones, like the government ones, and then if you have a reaction to them, you can step up and they're not cheap either.
You really see a fortune stitched up being a chick?
Do you absolutely do?
I feel for you guys, dudes, Like, just don't have to worry about that, do you?
It is not fair.
You're right anyway.
This guy drugged his wife and then had the gall to ask strangers on Reddit, how many pills are you supposed to take? He didn't even read the dosage. He gave her four pills in one go, which is the equivalent of the morning after pill.
This man's a Netflix. It's bad doco waiting to happen.
It's really really bad.
But as I said before, contraceptive pills are a mine field. And I know at least two women I reckon. If I really sat down and thought about it, I would know a lot more. And I'm sure they're not proud of this, but they have told me that they have said they were on the pill.
But they weren't.
You can't do that.
Apparently it's quite common.
Have you lied about being on the pill? You can be anonymous.
Did you just go I want this baby, and I'm going to do it whether you want me to or not.
I can't imagine that's so wrong.
The Chrissy Swan Show, we're talking about the contraceptive pill and the sneakety dickity stuff that goes on with it. Because if you trust someone to take that pill. You don't know whether they are or not.
No, and then all of a sudden there could be a baby.
Or you could be like this dude on Reddit you were just telling us about, and you secretly crush it up into your partner's food and joy.
We take it once a day at the same time of day, not four. That's what you take when you're, you know, wanting to avoid whatever it's about to occur. Do you know what I mean?
That's very irresponsible.
Thirteen twenty four to ten. Have you lied about being on the pill?
Annie?
Oh pillows?
Hi? Hi?
I haven't lied about the pills that I've lied about taking the morning after pills.
Okay, tell me how did it happen?
So I was.
Dating this really really attractive ex military cop and it was like eleven o'clock at night and there were no cameras open, and I just couldn't be bothered going the next morning to the cameras to get the pills.
Okay, So this is how's Maybe.
Luckily I didn't end up falling pregnant, but my period was three days late and I was in a panic.
Did you say to that guy, that military cop? Is that what he said they did. That's got scam written all over it. By the way, I don't know if I'm just jaded, but like if anybody says they've got a job like that, I go, yeah, right, I cold on you Donald Duck.
And he hung up on us. Oh did she I reckon? He was nervous. I could sense nervousness.
Voice because she's like, yeah, yeah, I'll tell the story. And then she's gone, oh my god.
I want national radio.
All right, let's go to Jesse.
Hey, guys, yeah, good, what was your what was your big pill Lie?
Well it's not so well, it's not anything baby related with more to excuse my poor behavior.
Okay, great.
I was acting like a raging mole, and the best thing I could do was say, I'm on a new pillow came My hormone are out of control. There's nothing I can do about this.
That is Oh, that is really good. I have done that about other things too. Like I've said, I must be low in iron. I must be getting lower in iron because it affects my movie.
You said that three days ago. You said to me that you need aron infuge because you're tired all the time. Were you lying to me. Oh, never, lie, I will pull up the text messages.
No, I do need an infusion.
No, you're late, but I need I do need an infusion now. But there have been times in the past that you that I have been a mole, as Jesse has said, and I've had to go, oh, I must just be them iron talking.
Yeah, right, Jesse. What was the reason for your bad behavior at the time though, Like, was it anything? Was there anything else going on?
No, say, totally inexcusable, just in the selfy mood. And then after, you know, when you think about afterwards, you're like, oh, I might have gone too far there. I've got a back down somehow without apologizing.
Yeah, blame it on the Druggers.
Absolutely, We're going to send you a Priceline pharmacy vout to Jesse. You could use that for the.
Pill the Chrissy Swan Show.
The Chrissy Swan Show.
I think we're about to have an argument Jack, Okay, maybe our first argument ever.
Probably not.
No, we don't argue like when we're off air. We never argue.
No, and we never argue on air. But there are some things that you believe one hundred percent. Now, other things that I believe one hundred percent and I'm right. But I'm happy to entertain your thoughts.
For the sake of four minutes radio Listen to me.
You remight, here's another analogy for you, in the style of the one that I gave you earlier about three D glasses. I'm like a cranky mother barley dog, okay, and you're like a puppy and I'm like Gody, that's me, the angry Balinese dog.
I love. I've got to tell you a story about Balinese dogs.
After Okay, mental note and note Baronese dogs. Now, I just I hope I'm right here that we're going to have a differing opinion, because it'll be a real downer if we If we're aligned on this.
That's okay, We'll just going to thrift shop, okay. Michaelaur and Ryan was awaiting.
Scooting through Reddit. I found this thirteen twenty four ten. By the way, which way do you face in the shower? Do you face the water or do you face away from the water?
Any excuse to play this?
I love this Becky g song. Shower is it because it has a shower? Did not get the airplane credit it deserved ten years ago oh did it deserve it? Though? Absolutely no.
Are we arguing about that?
Now? Which way do you face? Because this I just feel like there's only one answer. There's certainly only one answer for me. Whenever you shower, which way do you face? Asks this guy on Reddit. I think most people respond that they rotate depending on where the soap is. However, I let the water hit the back of my body, and I've recently learned that some people face the water jet head.
On and he cannot believe that. Well, I'm going to go first.
Okay, So if you're standing under the shower, yes, where.
What am I looking at? Am I looking at the shower head? Or am I looking away from the shower head? I am looking away? No, you're not, I said, I'm looking at.
You're looking Well, that's wrong. That's the wrong way to live.
No, Because you're walking in, you're wanting to get water on you, so you face where the water is coming from.
Like no one, so many you've cooked it. That is so bizarre to stand in the shower where the wall most likely is and the showers coming out, and you're just facing a wall like thirty centimeters from your face and there is just water spraying onto you. Yeah, no, man, you turn around.
I turn the head so it hits me on the buzzies. Like if I'm just standing there, it's not in my face. I'm not like an idiot. I am, but you know, not in that not in that moment. I'm standing there, and I that the water is permanently because I'm the only one who uses that shower. Hello, And then I face it so that if I am just standing there, it hits my boobs and then I can lather it all up.
Do you do it because of the feeling of it hitting the boobs.
Or because you know, because it's practical, that's what you're doing. You're washing.
What are you doing this for your face? It hits the back of my neck and my hair.
But why do you need to clean the net?
I clean all aspects of how do you clean your face? I then get my cleanser, my ordinary cleansing. If you ask, lather it up, get some water, and then wash my face. You should never have the shower directly hitting your paws. A dermatole just told me.
That I am shook.
I just never if I if I'm shaving my legs, I will turn on the side and that's it. I never ever do the back unless I'm cleaning my bum.
I'll turn around.
The water goes right up there.
I turn around to turn the shower on or off. But aside from that, I'm facing the wall because I like to look around, have a cover sing. Just facing the wall is very confronting and very grim.
It's practical thirteen twenty four to ten. Which way do you face?
I can't believe that, really, I can't believe that. I just it's a very sad image, the idea of someone facing the wall and just being sprayed.
Oh, it's sort of, you know, like Prisoner of Wall.
The Chrissy Swan Show.
You got a big question that Jack and I cannot agree on. Which is the right way to face when you're having a shower. We all do it every day, and I personally do it the same way every day, and that is I walk in and I turn on the shower and I do not move. I'm facing the water.
That's it, as if you're in an asylum. I turn around and face out of the shower and have a look around whilst I'm cleansing and washing my body.
And he's got a very clean back, which nobody sees Martin.
Who's right, Christy? You're one hundred percent right? Thank you?
Man?
Completely mad, it's gone completely mad.
It's like all the.
Bits glean, all the bits are exposed.
You face that there front exactly. No, But Martin, what you do is you slightly tilt your right shoulder back or your left shoulder back, and then the water like will go down your chest and into the bits.
Did you hear the ridicule in Martin's laugh.
That's stupid.
Martin thinks I'm an idiot.
Yes, yes, he's actually words where you've gone mad?
Which is true.
Hey Martin, we're going to send you a soda stream art. Push for better, thank you very much, don't you?
Yeah?
Push for better means face the water? Hello, Rachel? Hey guys, who's right here? Me facing the stream of water? Or Jack facing away?
Sorry Christy, it's Jack right, roach, Yes, why with a little rotate every now and again exactly like I was just saying to Martin, I don't mind a little black shoulder back, shoulder back every now and then to let the water come down the front. And don't get me wrong, twenty like eighty percent facing away, but like every now and then you'll you'll just turn to get a little bit on a chest. But no, we're not facing the wall like a weirdo.
I don't understand to Rachel sensitive.
Also, so if it's really hot or really cold, it's okay.
That's true, You're not like getting nippleburn. Yeah, so to stream art, push for better, Rachel is what I like to say.
Should I try?
Like you know, they say that it change is as good as a holiday.
I do.
I have a shower tomorrow with it facing. I just can't understand.
You'll have a shower tonight.
I will. I will show tonight.
I do have two a day.
You'll be pleased to know good.
I have three?
Well, I have four.
I have it. Do it tonight, try and film it and we'll whack it on the socials.
But all my busies in front bottom will be dry. I don't see all the bits that really need a washer in the front, your face, your armpits, but your busies, your belly button and you.
Do do shoes the technique of it.
Why do you need a technique when you can just put water on it like you do would dish or a T shirt like anything else that needs washing.
I don't take the head off and get it up there.
Get it.
I take it off, put it in my arm, pits everything.
I do that as well, but facing the other way. But why hey, Jackie's on the line.
Jackie, please help me make sense of this.
No, I've got to agree with jack When I get into the shower, I face the shower head because the taps on. And then once I've turned it on, I turn my body because the front of me is now wet. Now the back of me is getting wet.
I love her up.
I wash it all and then turn it and wash it all off. And then if I want then in there, I'll put my back against it the gain.
You're busy in that shower, Jackie.
Actually, I'm actually demonstrating this as I'm telling you this, and.
I'm imagining it too. I'm flipping around and I feel dizzy. I feel very very dizzy, slippery.
So to stream for Jackie, let's finish with jjson.
JJ who's right here me facing the water, facing away.
None of you.
He's got to both sit in the shower.
Oh that is grim.
The Christy Swan Show is a Nova podcast for more great comedy shows like this hett Anova podcast dot com, dot are you