¶ The Power of Discipline and Purpose
From a growth perspective . It's my burn right that you helped me develop and it's you know for the world to hear . I have nothing to hide . I want to retire in the spouse hall of fame , the parent hall of fame , and work hall of fame , right . But I , when I die , I'm going to die right .
Welcome back to another episode of the burn . I am Ben Newman and you know exactly how we do this . Every single week , we're going to bring you a story of an athlete , an entertainer , a celebrity , somebody from the business world who has recognized that why and purpose is not enough .
There's an underlying burn that ignites your why and purpose , that causes you to show up when you don't want to , and especially after you win . I have told you countless times that I'm excited for the guests that we're about to spend time with , and this is a special one .
I'm telling you this is like double , triple special for me , because we have the opportunity to spend time with Chris Kokores today .
Not only is he somebody who has welcomed me into his life and the business world of you financial , a powerhouse not only on the east coast but across the country in the financial services world but he's welcomed me into his life and we've had the opportunity to become great friends and it's an iron sharpens iron relationship .
As much as this guy knows about leadership and people . There have been things that I've shared where I needed his help , and it's an amazing relationship . He has a unique and authentic energy about himself and his resume speaks for itself .
We will share that in the details and the notes , but I think what you're going to learn is that when you show up and you're yourself and you care about people , you can make a difference and accomplish a lot in life . Chris Kokores , welcome to the burn .
Ben Newman , wildly happy to be here . Thank you so much for the super kind introduction . Definitely more than grateful for it .
The one thing I do have to say before we get rolling . When we met , I somewhat had hair . Now I have no hair . You still have these amazing locks . Your hair is like gone nowhere . You're supposed to be managing all this stress of the industry and you're always smiling . You still have this great head of hair .
What keeps you in such a good mood and I'm not trying to say that it's all polyan and you don't have challenge and adversity , but you always seem to smile and be in a good mood through the ups and downs . Why ?
is that ? That's a great question . I think I would point to a handful of things in my life that have happened that I think are tremendous blessings that kind of keep my attitude on the up and up . Number one , I would say I won the parent lottery . I think my parents were wonderful guides in life .
They both had unique upbrings and a hard scrap industrial town in Connecticut believe it or not , that doesn't exist A town that's definitely seen better days and both of them went through a lot to have the family and the education that they received and to provide for my sister and I , which is an awesome job of Always supportive kind of let me be me , let me
be a bonehead , that I make mistakes and learn as an adult . And you know I credit them with a lot of the foundational kind of mindset that I show up with every day .
I think they got me kind of through college and into working years and then you know , since then it's been my unbelievable bride and you know Emily has been such a tremendous supporter and gave us these beautiful , healthy kids that you know are a blessing .
And I also think that you know , on top of those two things , we get the choice every day to interpret how things that take , things that happen in our worlds , influence the way we see it . And I think it's a choice to see things in a positive light . The world has got to happen to you .
How you respond is your choice and I think if you have the humility and the internal peace to respond to those things in a positive way , it makes a world of difference .
You know , one of the things that I admire about you and we've had the opportunity to have so many conversations , have some really fun times together and I always love your attention to detail and everything that you do and I've been with leaders from so many different companies , from CEOs of the like , the full CEOs of Fortune 100 financial firms to the CEOs of
individual organizations and I just love and admire how you lead , the manner in which you lead .
But you just mentioned Emily and the kids and I have this memory that just popped into my head when I was there in a visit in Mechanicsburg PA , which we are going to talk about , what you've done out of Mechanicsburg's PA , when you got people making excuses who are in New York City , in Chicago and LA . It's really mind blowing .
But I remember I was there for a visit to work with many of the individuals in the organization . We were going out to lunch and you're like we're going to hit this great Greek spot and you were talking about how you always want to have time for Emily and the kids and to grab lunch . We go to this Greek spot . Teddy is like dominating .
Your youngest is dominating this Greek salad . It's all over his face .
Right .
Yeah , I remember walking away going . I've been with a lot of leaders in this industry who would just claim I'm too busy to go grab lunch with my family .
Why has that been so important to you to maintain and to do those things , and how do you think that actually makes you better and focused when you are under the gun and challenged and going through adversity in the office ?
That's a great question . I think that the most effective way to respond to that , Ben , is I try to remind myself as often as I can , and one of my peers who does a great job of this , who has my position in Tennessee , Western Tennessee , Jerry Corliss , is so wonderfully great to remind me .
It's like we're all going to die one day . Like we're going to die .
I mean , it is myopic to kind of think that way and I think it's important because it brings clarity to focus immediately . So I say that under the guides that I feel that we have the option to squeeze every last drop out of the toothpaste container every day that we wake up and we either make that choice or we don't make that choice .
You know , and I think that's such a helpful guide in how we attack and approach every day , Attack and approach every interaction with the stranger , with our spouse , with the people that we work for our children .
You know the choice when you're really tired and you don't want to put your kid to bed , but you know that extra 10 minutes is not going to make a world of difference in their day .
Like , dig in and do it , Because those little things , those little touches , when we , when we invest in others , they invest back in us and I think that that's such an easy paradigm when you're busy to forget that it's made a huge difference in my life .
Living one day at a time and focusing on the things that are important , I know , for you to do what you've done and before we talk about being young , keeping priorities straight , really having this meteoric rise at a very young age to sit in the seat that you do sit in , which is such an amazing story in and of itself , I do want to go back to the
influence of your parents . You've always talked about the blessing of having parents , but you also pushed yourself and what I'd love to know , did it come from your parents ? You know where did that burn and fire to work hard . You know let's not overlook the fact that you did play college football .
You know you accepted the challenge early on in our coaching to do 75 hard , which I know you wanted to wanted to kill me when , when I first said it , but you took it on . You and I have done boxing classes together , and so how important has discipline been for you to understand what you had in you .
And then how is that translated into the business for you ?
Great , great question . I would say foundationally . Again , discipline was something that I always struggled with , you know , as a kid and as a young adult . I think I learned it , I think I'll put it this way , I think it's cemented in the after college , right , I think .
Or , Scott , whoever you believe in , gives you gifts that take you so far and then disciplined with the rest , right . You see that with pro athletes . You see that with pro athletes that go the wrong direction . You see that with mediocre pro athletes that turn out to be , you know , goats , right . And I love that picture of Brady in the draft .
I think it's just so emblematic of somebody that was just so damn stubborn and focused that he willed his way to , to a magical career . You know , arguably the best person that ever touched football off the earth . So I think that I think a discipline really does propel us , right .
I think again , god given talent , get us as far as they'll get us , and then discipline really gets us the next level . I would say maybe my second or third year in this business , I noticed that discipline had an outside effect on impact and outside outside effect on results that were driven through that discipline , and I think that that's continued in my life .
Today I have one metric I still track professionally on a pretty consistent basis . I think it yielded a lot of growth for organization . You know , internally and externally in the last couple of years have been really lucky to achieve . So discipline is the key man , it's it . Without it A lot of magic has to happen for continued success to take place .
So what I find unique about your leadership style is I understand your discipline , I know your belief in discipline , I know your belief that you have to get in and you have to do it . But the industry as a whole oftentimes is led by individuals . You almost would call it like an iron fist .
Right , they're going to tell you like this is what you need to do and you better do it this way or it's just not going to work out .
And one of the things that I've admired about you is this amazing knack for recruiting from a place of empathy , understanding , wanting to know people's families , wanting to know how they're wired , wanting to know the big picture , wanting to know why they're in the business and wanting to recruit the right people and then creating an environment where you're not saying
, just come and do what you want , but you're actually inviting them to have a platform that supports them , saying , why wouldn't I be disciplined in this environment ? And I think it's very unique . I think it comes naturally for you . I think you have this humble nature to say , well , it's just the way we do it . But I think there's some intentionality there .
How important is it to lead to the heart and to recruit the right people , but then to build this environment where you don't have to rule with an iron fist , you just support them and love on them , give them what they need and they want to be disciplined in that environment .
It's a really interesting dynamic . I'm glad you picked up on it . I think it really speaks to the quality of the culture that's been in this organization for a long , long time , and I think I have the unique advantage of saying that I was able to start here . So the people that I work for today are advisors .
I grew up idolizing professionally and so I get goosebumps talking about it . I still pinch myself when I get to spend time with these folks or offer them advice in their business and I think that that shines through then in a handful of ways .
Most importantly , recently we took a little group outing away and we had five advisors that have been here their whole career and two that hadn't , and one additional kind of outside guests at this outing .
And what struck me and the new , the two new advisors that just started with us great people , but from out of the area and what struck me the most was that the first night we all gathered for dinner we got there about noon , you know , and then we had dinner later that day was how welcoming just five advisors that I kind of grown up with work to these
other two new people . I mean I can't do that , Ben . You know I can't fake that . I can't . I can't recreate that . You know those advisors can't fake authentic , organic connection with those other people . They can't fake welcoming somebody into the world .
So I feel tremendously blessed that our folks do go out of their way to welcome the new people that you know want to call our place home and allow me to work for them . That welcoming sense is almost unrecreatable unless it's real and organic , authentic .
So that's a huge part of our success is the , is the culture and the people that create the culture that have been here for a long time , and how they go out of their way to welcome , you know , new folks in the organization and that helps that explode . I think that's been , that's been a huge key for us . That's been a huge key for us .
So now let's talk about because I think it's interesting it's that I would almost like what you just described , that that family nature that's welcoming . It's a attention to detail on culture . It's like a small town feel and I think a lot of people must see and go . How in the hell have you done what you've done in Mechanicsburg Pennsylvania ?
Yet what you've done , which is really remarkable , has created such a strong enterprise in you financial that it's really become a national brand where you've been able to attract powerhouse advisors I mean some of the top advisors in the world who are in some of those major cities
¶ Living a Purposeful Life in Mechanicsburg
. How does a guy in Mechanicsburg Pennsylvania pull that off ? Because , number one , you know , there's a lot of people . There's all the excuses in the world being in small town , pa , to not grow the way that you have to not think big enough to attract these people from around the country .
So I would love for you to maybe speak to not just financial advisors , where the manner in which you recruit and how you do is like nothing I've ever seen in the industry .
But I want you to speak to those people who make excuses because of maybe where they came from or my town's not big enough to not just be in that small pond but to say you can go live as big as you want to . I'd love to hear what you could say to all of our listeners who may struggle with that .
Yeah . So I'll say two things . I'm going to write these down so I don't forget them . The first thing is one of the elemental parts of , I think , where we've gotten from a growth perspective is my burn . Right that you helped me develop and it's for the world to hear I have nothing to hide .
I want to retire in the spouse hall of fame , the parent hall of fame and the work hall of fame right when I die . Again , we're all going to die right , your life will be measured at some point .
I'd love to be somebody that at the eulogy , somebody offers a kindness maybe that Emily Iyer offered that person that we've forgotten about right , because we were fortunate enough to give so many kindnesses away throughout our lives . So hopefully that takes place right , I think .
Secondarily , when I was a younger rep , a newer rep you drive everywhere , right for everything . You drive four hours to open a Roth IRA for somebody for $50 a month with American funds . I would devour books on CD . That was when we still had CDs . You get them from the library , throw them in the CD while you're driving . 85 .
True , it was really safe , but in one of the mouth and glabell books , I forget which one is up top of my head he talks about . This opportunity might have been blank , where there is a general , a military general , that's hired to do this war simulation . You know what I'm talking about ? This book , no-transcript , and they have no advantages .
This general has no advantages . He's got this rag tag group of people and he's operating some rogue state rogue cell trying to fight a Goliath Army somewhere in the world . And the Goliath Army has all the tech advantages , all the systematic advantages , all the financial advantages , you name it .
And what struck me about this comparison , one of the most points that he goes on to make is that this person didn't have this rogue cell operator , didn't have any of the burdens of mega bureaucracy that the big army has .
So if he needed to send a message he could put a message , a handwritten message , on a dude's shoe and send him on a motor scooter 100 miles , so he didn't have to worry about the message getting intercepted from big tech , right and he could do it and he could act responsibly and nimbly and kind of figure it out right .
I think what's interesting about kind of our market to speak to the mechanics for thing is that book always kind of rang in my head afterwards . It's like okay , well , what can we do to deliver value to our business partners and grow our distribution in ways that might be seen as creative or thoughtful ?
Because there's only so many folks in our marketplace , right , Well , that's fine . Those people probably have relationships somewhere else in the industry that they're willing to open up top to . If we treat them well , we support them , we show that we care , we show that we love them .
So luckily that happened a bunch of times in my first year and was very , very lucky in a lot of ways in that growth and I think a lot of that fruit of those trees that we planted a long time ago is starting to really get ready to be picked .
So , yeah , we've been really lucky in that space , but yeah , so one of the things I wanna highlight and I appreciate you sharing it is this concept of living to show up in three Hall of Fame , and I hope everybody heard what Chris shared . Three Hall of Fame , that's beyond . I'm gonna show up and give my best .
You know , when you think of the Hall of Fame , I want everybody , whatever sport you love , think of the Hall of Fame Like that is the best of the best of the best . And here Chris is stretching himself to say I wanna show up in three different Hall of Fames .
And so I just think , for all of you listening , regardless of where you are , regardless of your environment , regardless of your pain , regardless of your adversity , regardless of your challenge , regardless of your self-talk , you can pick all the Hall of Fames that you wanna show up in as well .
And I think there's a power of attraction because of how you show up and the conversations you're willing to have and how you treat people , because those things are so important to you . Most people don't go into the Hall of Fame for having poor character . You know we can go over . You and I are huge , both huge sports fans .
We could give plenty of stories of the people who have not gotten into the Hall of Fame because of poor character . So as much as people say , oh , they were a great athlete . But usually if there's a but , they're not getting into the Hall of Fame .
And so I think there's this attraction power that you bring because of just this burning desire to wanna just do things the right way , and I think it's special and it's one of the things where , yes , you and I have been able to do a lot of fun things and it's been blessings for our family to partner with some amazing individuals , but until you tell me I
don't have a place for you in the organization , like I don't even care about the money that comes from our relationship . I mean , it's really one of those things .
It's like it's special and I think and I joke you and I both get busy sometimes and we miss a call or two and it's like , okay , well , now the contract is extended another month and I was like I just wanna get back on the phone with you , because we always pick it right back up and I just I wanna say I appreciate , knowing the industry the way that I
do , that you're willing to think that big and you're willing to do things the right way . I just I really think it's a very special thing , that's more needed and I hope other leaders realize .
In my opinion that's the right way to lead and you've shown me a lot about the industry and doing things the right way and I think it's why there's this attraction to where recruiting somewhat takes care of itself . Do you find that to be the case , that when you take care of people , it's you get introductions to other people ?
And I know that's the way it was as an advisor take care of somebody , they take care of it . But it seems like that's also happening for you from a recruiting and culture and growth standpoint of the organization .
Also I'd say that's such kind words , thank you . I still have so much room to go and grow personally and interpersonally , and I think coaching is a huge part of that , whether it's you or somebody else or whatever . However , somebody can fill their bucket professionally , emotionally , to continue to develop . That's a huge deal .
But yeah , I do think that if you get the ball rolling in the right direction and you genuinely show up and support people , I think that they tend to return that kindness . And my parents big believers in kind of the golden rule that was instilled early , and I think that that's shown to be very true in my professional life for sure .
Last question for you , chris . So I know you said that the Three Hall of Fame , so you kind of alluded to it .
But knowing that you've done things differently in the industry as a leader , knowing that you've done things really , I would say , from the age in which you've done them very , very rare , what do you really want your legacy to be in this industry ?
Great question . You know , I hope I'll give you this perspective . Recently the gentleman that recruited me into the business passed away , so I may hope that he rests in peace and I hope his family is doing great . You know , in this time of turbulence , we just went to the celebration of his life .
I think it was in August and he died in his , in his young 80s , and you know , I think as a whole , one of the folks that I worked for here said this and he said when his name is Gary Winkins legend , industry legend , oh gee , I mean like just an unbelievable human being at a presence , almost like a George Washington asked presence , you know , and where
I revered the dude , we started , right , it's crazy , I think . Somebody I worked for here said this . They said you know , you go to , you go to a service for this somebody's life and you know , a lot of times you sit in the audience . You think , boy , I don't know that person they were talking about , right , the person leading the service .
I observed their character doing X , y and Z , and then they talked about them doing A , b and C and yeah , I didn't know that person , right . But interesting about what this advisor said is he's like every story that they tell him about him was true and accurate and real . And that was him . You know we had choked up talking about him .
He had just an overwhelmingly generous , special soul , just a wonderful , a wonderful example to follow . You know he had , I think it's 13 grandkids . They were all there , they all , you know , offered special words and thoughts and it was cool to kind of hear what they said about him after retirement . He retired at 67 . 65 or 67 .
But you know he basically , you know he would wear this like little limo driver hat around and pick up his grandkids wherever they want to go , at any time , right ?
And you know he talked about a dude that went from being the pinnacle of professional success to saying like , hey , I'll pick you up at soccer , what time you know , any place , any time , and think of the special way to you know kind of see the world through an experience like that .
So , anyway , to answer your question , it would be to have a lot of people feel like I , emily and I had made a positive impact on their lives in some way shape reform , mentally , emotionally , spiritually , socially , professionally , whatever .
When we're dead .
You know , for lack of a better way to say that . You know , we , we are put on this earth . I feel like we're put on this earth to make other people's lives more fulfilling and enriching . You know special and and I'd love to be remembered that way .
That's as a powerful perspective . You know , I've I've heard people say you know , my dear friend , ed Milet always says you're going to show up to those pearly white gates and you know your twin is going to be right there and you're either going to recognize them or you're not . That's a totally different perspective that I've never thought of .
Is , you know , sitting there are people at your funeral going to say who the hell are they talking ?
about .
You know they're talking about you know , right , like they all have fames . What are they talking about ? Like I knew this guy and I just I think that goes to Chris there's no doubt that that is going to happen . Let's hope that it is decades upon decades , upon decades from now .
But I think that will happen because it speaks to what I said when we really started today just the authenticity and the manner in which you show up and I just I appreciate what you do for the industry , I appreciate how you lead , I appreciate the example that you set and I appreciate you giving me the opportunity to to play a small hand in helping you fight
for those Hall of Fame . It's a , it's a deeply meaningful relationship for me and I'm so glad because we've been talking about this for a long time that we're finally able to to share some of this behind the scenes , in front of the cameras here on the burn . So thank you for coming on .
We had very grateful for the partnership two-way street all the way . But thank you so much for the opportunity .
Well , I love you , brother . I look forward to continuing to fight with you . Love you too , bro , can't wait for it .
And to each and every single one of you listening , I want to share something I didn't intend on when I prepared for today's interview to share it this way , but , with that story Chris just shared , I want you to think about your life and I want you to think about the word perspective .
And are you living in a way that's going to provide the right perspective for other people that choose to live their lives the right way ? And I think , if you think about somebody sharing what they're going to share about you at your funeral , did you live the right way ?
And I know we challenge you on a lot of things with the burn , but that's what I want to leave you with is that challenge of evaluating where are you ? How are you showing up ?
Whether it's the small town that you're in or the self-talk that you're listening to Are you showing up with great perspective to fight the way you were destined to fight and to fight to go get in the Hall of Fame that are most important to you ? I appreciate every single one of you choosing to be with us on the burn every single week .
Make sure to subscribe and to share and make sure to lean in in your life and to know that we're in this fight together to connect to that burn , because we know the burn is what ignites why and purpose and causes you to fight when you don't feel like it and especially after you win . Until next week , this has been the burn .