Tig Notaro and Stephanie Allynne on Finding Humor in Love and Work

Hey fam, Hello Sunshine.

Today on the bright Side, comedians partners and co directors Tag Nataro and Stephanie Allen are here to talk vulnerability in comedy, what it's like to work with Reese Witherspoon, and so much more. It's Monday, July twenty second. I'm Danielle Robe and.

I'm Simone Boyce and this is the bright Side from Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come together to share women's stories, laugh, learn and brighten your day.

Simone, it's on my mind Monday. We're talking work languages today. So what does that you ask Let me ask you this instead. Are you a procrastinator, a little bit blake, a little bit or a lot of.

Bit depends, It depends on the task.

Do you find that you have trouble getting stuff done?

Is this an ADHD self diagnosis? Quiz?

No?

Okay, I have a point, I promise.

Okay, Okay.

There's this article from The Every Girl that says knowing your work link which is the secret to your productivity. So there's a lot of these articles out there that have listicles and languages and.

The new Cosmo it's the new Cosmo quiz.

Yes, So Basically, I want to go through these and see if we even agree.

Okay, let's hear it.

So apparently there are five different languages achievement, recognition, growth, collaboration, and freedom.

Freedom sounds interesting? Do I have to pick one or can I have all of them?

Well, let's go through them and let's see what we think.

Okay.

So the first is achievement, and this is the work language for go getters, for people who love to hit targets, solve problems, reach milestones.

That kind of sounds like you definitely. Up next is recognition.

This is the language for people who feel the most accomplished when they receive public acknowledgment or praise for their work. So even a simple thank you from a boss is a big deal for people with this work language.

Okay, who doesn't want to hear thank you from their boss? Who doesn't want to hear validation from their boss? One thousand percent? This is just natural, This is human nature.

Honestly, I sort of have a theory that you, as a boss, can tell your employee thank you, and they care about that sometimes more than like a promotion or oh my god, increase.

One hundred percent. They don't they're so stingy. Usually with the validation. I think that bosses should be way more effusive with the praise.

The thank you word goes such a long way.

Mm hmm.

Okay.

The third work language is growth. This one's for people who are constantly learning new skills improving their current skill set. They love a challenge and opportunity to learn something new. You can catch these people signing up for workshops or training programs. I love this one because there are so many resources that go untapped, especially at a lot of bigger corporations that have more resources. But you can take

Yeah, like I really like learning new skills?

Yeah, okay. Fourth is collaboration. The work language for all the team players out there. So if this is you, you love a good brainstorming sash, you enjoy bouncing ideas off of colleagues, and individual recognition doesn't matter as much to you. Knowing that the team got the job done is the most rewarding. So if you love a group project growing up, this one's you.

Who loved group projects? Are they in the room with us right now?

I'd love to know, Well, you're an only child, there's no way you.

Loved a group press.

Absolutely not. I will do it myself, Thank you.

I kind of love I like brainstorming back and forth with people.

I do love collaboration. Yeah, I don't know about a group project. Like we can brainstorm together and then I'm gonna go off and I'm to do my own work.

That makes me laugh. Okay.

Last, but certainly not least, is freedom. So this one's for solo workers who want independence. They enjoy taking ownership of their own projects. A person with this work language would rather manage their own workflow and are more likely to prefer a remote job with flexible hours.

Everyone I hate freedom.

This one is like, here's the thing.

I feel like we could go in and be like, this one's me, this one's not me, But I think everybody has a little bit.

Of all of these one hundred percent the freedom one is speaking my language.

Yeah, the stress language ones that we did feel like they're more apropos.

Okay, Well, if you're feeling a little bit dissatisfied with this list, I do have some recommendations for other work languages that we could add here.

Okay, give it to us.

Number one, parental leave. Okay, let's support our dads, our moms, everyone in between who wants to start a family, and let's make sure that they have time off to recover from it.

Can I amplify that.

I even think family leave because yeah, they have to be caregivers for sick family members.

So just like leave in general, bereavement time to be human.

Yes that part also snacks, that's my second work language suggestion. Yeah, so healthy fruit snacks, chicken chips, boiled eggs, protein bars, coconut water. Like I like a robust selection. I want to walk into the breakroom and feel like, oh my god, I'm at erawon, you know what I mean.

Well, here's the thing. A lot of companies have unhealthy snacks. They have like the cheetos, the fruit loops, the cereal bar. I want like a spinach bar. Can we have a salad bar?

I'm laughing because those are the snacks that we have in our podcast.

We do have lacroix here though, that's true, that's true.

Okay, another work language that we need to add good coffee within a one point two mile radius. Yes, like I need some excellent, artisan brewed espresso.

Give me the lux coffee.

Also, if there's like a coffee party on Fridays, I'm never leaving that company.

Fantastic.

Yeah, yeah, you have my loyalty till the end. I'd also like to suggest a lush terrace where I can decompress from the stresses of the day.

We kind of have that here, yes, yes, some outdoor space. I think that's great.

Mental health benefits, Oh yeah, Like give me some free therapy, give me a guidance counselor that I can go downstairs and sit down with whenever I'm.

Having here honestly talking dirty to me. And finally, unlimited time off. I just think we're in twenty twenty four unlimited PTO.

Yeah, studies show that people don't even take advantage of unlimited PTO when you give it to them. Yeah, so maybe not unlimited, but I want ample time off. I want to be a human I want to feed my wanderlust.

Similar to understanding our stress languages, this article says that knowing our work languages can help us lead a healthier, more fulfilling career. I have to be honest, I kind of wish simone wrote this article. I like yours better.

I thank you. I'm so flattered.

Yeah, I'm just going to go with that.

I think our guest today probably know a lot about work languages because they have a lot of experience working together.

That's so true.

Take Nataro and Stephanie Allen are comedians and partners in work and in life. Their latest endeavor is the rom com am I Okay, starring to Coda Johnson, and it marks their directorial debut as a duo.

So we have to ask them about that.

They've been married for almost ten years now and they have two sons, Max and Finn, and they truly are a power couple. Tig and Stephanie are both comedians, writers, and actors, and they actually first met on the set of the twenty thirteen movie In a World, and.

As they say, the rest is history. So after the.

Break, we're talking all things love and comedy with Tig Nataro and Stephanie Allen, stay with us.

Tig and Stephanie, Welcome to the right side.

Thanks for having us. Yeah, happy to be here.

Welcome, Welcome.

Are they our first couple? I, oh my gosh, you're right, Yes, this is our first couple.

This is a big day, our power couple. No less, Tig.

There are so many moments from your recent Amazon special Hello Again that had us and stitches. The entire office had the best time preparing for this interview because you gave us so much laughter. And Stephanie, you're a part of a lot of your wife's jokes. How do you feel about being part of tigs material?

I enjoy it and our kids enjoy it too, And I feel like Tig's good at knowing you know what to share and what not to share.

I feel like Stephanie's good at also letting me know what to share and what not. I mean, speaking of this special, I don't know if you know, but Stephanie was nominated for an Emmy for directing my special.

Yeah.

I could not be more thrilled, very happy. I mean, I.

Can't even express enough like I would choose her over me any any old day. And that is from my heart.

And soul.

Stephanie, congratulations on your Emmy nod. So in the special, you talk about nailing a meeting with Reese Witherspoon. You know, she's our EP and we have all these guests that come into our studio and the cameras, the mics turn off, and one of the things we get the most is is Reees really as amazing as it seems? Or can you send Reese my book? Like people are just obsessed with Reese Witherspoon, which I totally understand.

Can you set the scene for nailing the meeting?

I think everybody wants to know how to nail a meeting with Reese.

Well, you've come to the wrong people.

Personally, I feel like I fumbled through my entire relationship with Reese, and conversely, I feel like she's fumbled through her entire relationship with me because she has teased me relentlessly over the years for different things, and I've let a lot of things slide. But I also have to say I love having a relationship with somebody where you can rib each other and I take it from her and she takes it from me. So as far as meetings,

Let me tell you what I heard.

I heard that Reese Witherspoon is five to two, Laura Dern is five ten, Nicole Kidman is six feet, and she leans five eight.

That's why I said what I said.

Well, it was interesting too, because you I think you are good at meetings, and I think you're good at reading a room. And that was a moment where it was really like wow, she really went off there and couldn't quite figure out what was going on. But clearly we found out that you have a hearing issue.

We hope that you are getting the treatment that you need for that to avoid future snaffoos. You know, that moment was so funny to me because I am six feet tall taking sephony, so I particularly delighted in the tall person humor of that joke.

So okay, you two have been married for ten years and now getting to sit with you both live. You have such a cute rapport with each other. Are you guys a romantic couple? Do you celebrate anniversaries? Or is that stuff corny to you?

We celebrate when we met, when we started dating, when we got.

Got it, decided to start dating.

We have so many anniversaries, it's ridiculous.

It's truly embarrassing.

It's so sweet. Are you gift people? Do you take trips? How do you celebrate?

We go out to dinner and I liked to send Stefphanie really pretty flowers with a note that says, you know, ten years of pure hell, here's to ten more.

When you two first met, who made the first move? Was there were there butterflies from the start? How did the how you meet story go down?

Well?

We met on Lake Bell's movie In a World, and we were both actors in that And at the time, Tig had a girlfriend and I did not know I was gay and only dated men. So I feel like we had a very platonic, like just enjoyment of each other.

Yeah, we had so much fun working on set together.

And yeah, that I wouldn't say there was like a move.

And also backstory, I didn't know I was battling three deadly ill is at one time. I had pneumonia and invasive cancer and an intestinal disease that was eating my inside. So I was kind of struggling between scenes. But I was also really enjoying having fun with Stephanie on set. And when I got sick during that movie and I collapsed one day and went off to the hospital and that's when everything fell apart. But Stephanie and I reconnected later. It was like six months later. Oh yeah, it was

And she was just like, oh yeah, me too.

And then when I was going to bed after I had given her my number and like midnight, I got a text.

It said sweet.

Dream Yes, that's hilarious.

Oh my god, this is the funniest person I've ever met.

I love that sense of humor. Sephanie like somebody a partner who could make you laugh.

It's the best.

Oh yeah, And we couldn't hear.

We were saying we're not texts and we couldn't stop texting each other. And then she on Valentine's Day and not even planned, was like, hey, come meet me and my friends. We're having a drink at La Poobelle and I went there to meet her and she was sitting at this big table with friends and we both wore these big wool Canadian sweaters and I was like, how funny that we both.

Have these on.

Let's switch And our friend at the table was like, here, I'll take a picture of you. And as soon as we put our arms around each other to take a picture, we started kissing.

Oh whoa did they get a photo of it?

Yes, our first kiss cap shirt on camera.

That's so beautiful. That's like every woman's dream, truly.

So romantic.

Just swap wool sweaters with your crush and then you lock it in.

That's what you do.

Well, every time I go on a first date, I'm like, Okay, if this is the person I'm gonna marry, I would love a photo of this, But you can't ask for ato on your first stage.

It's la anything as possible.

Well, I was just gonna say, it's just that crazy feeling when like you touch someone, Like we were putting our arms around each other for the picture, and it was just so natural and immediate to kiss. Yeah, I had never kissed a woman before. Wow, and it was so natural.

And neither of us are public. Yeah, we're not like making it. Yeah, we're not like we make out in public.

And then the next day Copany wrote me a fifty thousand page email saying that she's not gay, but she had fun and that she wants to be friends. And then I just wrote back saying okay, Dyke, and then we've been together ever since.

That was when I was in a cohumor.

I see no red flags all I see our green flags here. I mean, it's perfect.

This is such a great conversation.

We have to take a quick break, but we'll be right back with more from Tig and Stephanie. Stay with us, and we're back with Tig Nataro and Stephanie Allen. Since you're both comedians and writers, I want to get your pulse on the importance of comedy right now.

I'll give you a quick story.

I moved to LA from Chicago about ten years ago, and I didn't know anybody, and I realized I hadn't laughed, and so every Wednesday night for two years, I would go to the comedy store from ten pm to two am, and it was five bucks and I would just laugh and laugh, And comedy's always held such a special place in my heart, and I look around our social and political landscape now and feel like it's needed more than ever.

What do you feel.

It's so tricky because I feel like I, for both of us, we really feel the weight of things in the world and have a massive sensitivity to that. And simultaneously, I think it's our natural instinct to find levity and light and look for where there's good and try to elevate that. And I think it kind of all goes together at times where you go, God, I'm feeling so low.

It's both.

And Yeah, So I watched your film on HBO, Max and Dakota Johnson really made me giggle. I loved the story. Why was that a project that you wanted to bring to life?

Well, I had worked with Lauren Palmerance, who wrote the movie, and I just feel like she's such a talent. She's just a very funny, deeply funny person. She had sent it along to us for potentially directing, and because Stephanie, I don't know, I mean, you had a somewhat similar story in the Later in life coming out story. It just felt like not only was it a different take on coming out, but it was yeah, I think a personal yeah connection, Yeah.

I really.

I mean I've felt like I just governed my sexuality late. I now look back and go, God, I wasn't that old. And I feel like even since then, ten years ago, so many people are coming out at so many different ages and really discovering that part of themselves, you know, at seventy or eighty. And in this movie, Dakota's in

Yeah, Stephanie, I want to talk to you about your own experience a bit more and how it parallels with what we see in this film. You know, I often hear authors talk about the act of revisiting a particularly defining chapter in their life as almost reliving it, and the body doesn't know the difference whether you're writing about something that happened to you or whether you're experiencing it or re experiencing it.

So was there an element of this for you where it felt like you were reliving this?

Yeah?

I mean you can't help but go, oh my god, I went through this exact same thing and had all of these feelings and then at the same time going

And so I like that feeling a lot.

But I felt like in making the movie, I didn't want to in any way belittle those emotions at the time because they are so significant, and I think when you're on the other side, especially in today's culture where so many people identify as queer and they don't like labels and everybody is a little of everything, that's to kind of go, oh, I think I'm gay. I enjoyed that it was specifically that and that the label mattered because she had to embrace that for herself and say that was true.

There's this video of you on a party bus with Sarah Paulson, Alison Janny holland Taylor Glennon Doyle, just to name a few, and you're singing the Indigo Girls. It's hilarious and I need to know where you guys were going.

Wait.

I was doing my final show in the la of my Hello Again tour, and there were some people that group will loosely socialize together with dinner or drinks or whatever, and it came somewhere of like, oh, I haven't seen your show. I want to go to your show, or of all these different people, and I was like, oh, well, my show is in I've already done La. The closest

And then was it us? I think yeah.

And then we were like, if everyone's going down to the show, why don't we just rent a party bus. And everyone was like chiming into the email thread going yes, yeah, And so we all met at one house and got in a party bus and we were at a house that was in the hills, like where where you're riding along an edge of a cliff type hill where trees and branches are slapping against the windows were like, you know,

Sounds like kind of like a low key chill experience.

To paint the picture, Indigo Girls is playing and Alison Janny is like hanging from the top of the bus with on this pole.

I was the one filming that and this it felt like as soon as like we all met at the house and everyone's talking and excited to go see the show. It felt like as soon as we got on the party bus, like it immediately shifted where everyone was like on the poles.

Yeah, it was hilarious, chill, early afternoon cocktail party to where everyone truly I have to say, Alison Janny is a freak of nature. She is a horse. She is so strong. This woman was upside down basically doing crunches from the Yeah, the poles. But yeah, we were flying down the road and I don't know if you know this, but Alison came up behind me in an all good fun and picked me up from behind and carried me down the aisle of the party bus, and I was like,

No, yeah, what I was like, God, I'm in a lot of pain. And then but of course I've been through worse pain.

But so I did my show, and then I was feeling really bad for a couple of days, and then I went to the doctor and sure enough tracked ribs and I told not to make her feel bad, but just because if I broke somebody's ribs, I would want to know.

I want to know how do you let somebody know that? What did you say?

I just texted her and said, nay, you broke my ribs, sweet dreams.

Yeah, and then she sent me flowers and.

She wrote, Okay, yeah, I mean I wasn't upset with her. I thought it was hilarious. Of course, felt terribly So maybe you should edit this out. But I love Alison Janny so much. It makes me crazy too.

I do too. She's a legend.

I wanted to be here when I was growing up. When she played CJ on The West Wing. Oh, I thought that was it the best.

Yeah, but no part of me was upset with that woman. And so there you have it.

It's a great two truth and a lie for a party in the future.

Oh my god, you're so right.

So you guys are so celebratory.

What do you think is the best way to celebrate something? If you were to give us a little advice, some like non traditional way to make something celebratory.

To me, it's a really basic generic stuff of like I love our kids, love hosting our friends and family at our house. Like they love setting the table, they love putting snacks out or dirves and helping cook and to look down our dining room table and have our closest of friends and family celebrating something. Yeah, there's truly nothing better that I can think of. I mean, I know it sounds very obvious, but I guess that's why.

It's those kind of things.

And I feel like it's sort of that, you know, like when people are like, oh, well, don't say anything yet, or knock on wood, or don't want to jinx it, and we're like, pop in the champagne.

Yeah, jinx it, let's get excited.

There's not a heaviness like in Hollywood. You you work towards something, you write something, you pitch something, you meet about something, and every now and then something happens, and the majority of things don't happen, and people, you know, reps will call saying like, oh hey, so this didn't happen or they passed or this got you know, ditched

We we move through life.

Yeah, and that's why we're okay with celebrating because we know probably it's gonna be ditched.

You know what's hilarious is even like be getting talking about that meeting with Reesa Lauren, Like, I'm like, oh, did.

You go poorly?

I never really thought about if that was successful, Like, I'm like, they were so great.

Yeah, we had so much fun.

We laughed through the whole thing, and they you know, passed on everything we threw their way.

But we had so much fun and that's what we left feeling.

I guess that's the benefit of working with the love of your life.

Yeah.

Absolutely, just just one of the benefits.

Tig, Stephanie, thank you so much for making us laugh and for joining us on the bright side.

Thanks for having us. And if anybody cares, I have a podcast as well called Handsome with the Comedian's Fortune, Fimester and May Martin if you want to check out Ridiculousness and Reese was a guest on it.

I love your podcasts. Thanks very entertaining.

Thank you so much for having me.

Yeah, thanks well, thank you so much for coming.

Tig, Natara and Stephanie Allen are comedians, partners in life and work, and co directors of the film am I.

Okay, that's it for today's show.

Tomorrow.

Brianna Scurry, one of the most decorated goalkeepers in US women's soccer. She's here at Talk Olympics and advocacy for women in Sports. I'm really excited for this one. Listen and follow the bright Side on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Simone Boye.

You can find me at Simone Boye on Instagram and TikTok.

I'm Danielle Robe on Instagram and TikTok.

That's ro Ba.

Y see you tomorrow, Folks. Keep looking on the bright side.