Hey fam, Hello Sunshine. Today on the bright Side, learn the science back secrets to lift your mood and boost your happiness. It's Wellness Wednesday, and happiness expert Karen Guggenheim is here to share the simple yet powerful steps you can take even when life feels overwhelming, plus the number one action you can start today to create more happiness in your life. It's Wednesday, September eleventh. I'm Danielle Robe.
And I'm Simone Boyce and this is the bright Side from Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come together to share women's stories, laugh, learn and brighten your day. Today's Wellness Wednesday is presented by Coliguard.
So today, before we dive into our show about happiness, I think let's all take a small pause to remember the events of September eleventh, a day that forever changed things for us as Americans. I know I was personally changed by it. It's a day etched in our collective memory, reminding us of profound loss and unimaginable courage and the resilience of the human spirit. And as we honor the lives that were lost and those who bravely stepped up in the face of tragedy. We also reflect on how
moments like these shape us. I think they remind us of the importance of community and kindness and finding light even in the darkest of times.
I think we can all remember where we were when we saw the towers get hit, and I was in middle school at the time. I was in class and I can vividly remember watching it with all of my classmates. And I think something shifted in me that day too, Danielle, I think that moment really galvanized my resolve to become a journalist one day.
Yeah, that makes so much sense, because in the aftermath of seismic moments like that, we all are searching for ways to heal and to rediscover joy. Really, so today we'll be exploring how happiness and well being can not only exist alongside hardship, but also grow from it. We've talked about happiness on this show a few times and in different ways. I think my favorite idea about it is that happiness is.
A muscle, not a mindset.
But we've also joked about happiness, right We've talked about sitting in your car for a few minutes to look after yourself, or of course, the importance of touching grass.
It really works. I will say that it really does work, you know, Danielle. The older I get, the less I know. But one thing I'm totally sure of is that I need nature in my life every day to stay happy. I think even just like a little bit of nature, a little encounter with nature can do wonders for your
mood and wellbeing. For instance, there's this study I came across that showed that patients who had plants and flowers in their hospital rooms had way shorter stays in the hospital, used fewer pain meds, and felt less pain, anxiety, and fatigue. So it's in the science. It really really works. It's incredible just how having a piece of nature, even removed from its environment in your perspective can really change everything.
That's the gorpcore and you Simone, I love it.
It's true. Okay.
I have two things that bring me a ton of happiness, quick little things. The first one, please guess, three guests is the first one doesn't count?
What do you think it is? Sleep? Yes?
I really feel like sleep is a game changer. And I don't mean it just as a joke as a sleepy girl. I think if you feel like quitting something, if you're crying, if if anything, like, the first question should be am I exhausted or is this a real feeling? For me?
It's usually exhaustion.
But the second thing that brings me happiness that I've noticed mostly in my adult life is girlfriends. And I don't mean that in a trite way, Like I have two girlfriends from college that live in la and we try and see each other at least every two or three weeks, and we just giggle. We laugh so hard, and no matter what any of us is going through, like if it's a breakup or a parent is sick or anything, just giggling with old friends brings so much serotonin to your brain.
This is honestly a huge requirement for me when I'm thinking about, Okay, who do I want to hang out with?
If we're not laughing, I'm.
Sorry, we're not ry hanging out, or at least I'm not seeing you that often because I got enough of my.
Life that I'm not laughing about.
Like when I'm with my friends and taking the time to do that, I need to laugh.
One thousand percent. And you know, the word happiness can sometimes feel abstract. It's like, how do we even get there, especially when happiness feels out of reach. And so today we're breaking down and offering science backsteps to find the happiness that we all deserve.
Our guest today is a true pioneer in the global happiness movement and a leader in promoting the science behind happiness and well being. Her name is Karen Guggenheim, and she's the co founder of the World Happiness Summit. It's this conference that brings together experts from around the world to explore the science behind happiness and also learn about practical tools to help increase well being in all areas of life.
She's also the.
Founder of the World Wellbeing Policy Forum and the CEO of the well being platform WILLHASU, which organizes both the Forum and the World Happiness Summit.
And while all of that is incredibly impressive and important to me, it's her personal story that's the most inspiring, because she experienced devastating loss in twenty thirteen and it was that loss, that seismic moment that kickstarted what she calls her intentional happiness journey.
Her debut book is coming out next month. It's called Cultivating Happiness, and it's a practical and accessible guide to dealing with adversity and leading more fulfilled and purposeful lives. Well, Karen is here with us. Now let's go ahead and bring her in. Welcome to the bright side.
Hi everybody, how are you?
We are here to talk all about happiness and how we can all cultivate it in our own lives. And I want to take a moment to talk about how you define happiness not as an emotion necessarily, but more as a skill. How did you arrive there at that belief?
Well, let me tell you first how I arrived at it, and then what my definition is. So actually my happiness journey was bumpy, and the origin it really is with unhappiness and actually loss. So eleven years ago I lost my husband. He died suddenly from the flu, believe it or not, before COVID, when I guess it was huge
shocker that people actually die from the flu. You know, At first it was total heartbreak, and I wanted to shut off to life and I didn't really want to live anymore, and nothing was ever going to be good again. I wanted to just go inward, and then I remembered I had children, and then I decided that I had to live for my kids and if I was going to live. I made that decision that I was going to live happy, and I didn't know what that looked like.
I did understand that it wasn't going to be continual joyful feelings, but that I would be able to enjoy life again, be fully alive again, and so I made that choice to be happy. And my journey was through purpose and meaning. And the first step actually was understanding that it was going to hurt. So I had to walk into the pain, walk into the fire with the hope that it was going to be okay afterwards and
I would be able to heal. And so my definition of happiness is more about you know, wellbeing, So looking at the different elements and dimensions of well being that when you cultivate and work on naturally makes more opportunities to feel positive emotions. So everybody loves joy, loves positive emotion, but sometimes life happens and that can be either disappointing and makes you angry, painful, et cetera. And it's so
important to feel those feelings. But through working on our relationships, our physical body, our careers or a financial well being, the community as well, and giving to others. So those are the ways that I build my happiness. So four months after he died, I was getting an NBA George Son University. And when I found out that there was a science to this and there are steps to it and frameworks to become happier, I wanted as many people
as possible to know that, to learn from that. And so I get to have an event and an organization and a community that largely lives up to the legacy of who my husband was. He was a very kind man, he was a scientist. So it's teaching people how to become happier from a data driven perspective. I feel that
I carry his legacy. It was bad enough that he died and he didn't get to see his children grow up, and I wasn't going to have his whole legacy be pain and loss because I could do something about that. And in that feeling, in that sense of empowerment and agency that I could do something about it, that was such a driving force to my healing and then to the work that I do today.
Do you remember the first day that you started to feel happiness again after the loss of your husband.
I can tell you that I remember about eleven ish months after he died, and I was with my cohort at Georgetown and somebody said a joke and I was like analyzing me, and I was saying, that's really funny, But does a widow laugh It's been eleven months? Is it the right time to laugh? Should I wait for
a year to laugh? Like I'm having this whole inner conversation, right, And then I said, you know, in the same way, that is very important not to negate my feelings around pain and not to sugarcoat something or go into like toxic positivity. It's also authentic that in this moment, I find this funny and I'm gonna laugh. And I gave myself permission to laugh and to break stereotypes and to like, okay,
widows laugh and then sometimes I cry. But that was about the first time that I really like, yeah, I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna let it flow.
You know, that's really beautiful When you look back on that time, I know you're about practical steps. What was something that you did that really made a difference.
First going to Georgetown and deciding to live and to do something about it and to retrain. I had to retrain I also wanted to meet people because I knew that social connection was so important, and then of course dedicating my life to promoting well being at scale through the world happiness. It was like the most impactful thing for myself personally that I was able to do, because
in helping others, I heal myself. And also a really important part, I think is the narratives that we tell ourselves about ourselves and who we are in our lives. And so I knew that I didn't want to be a victim. I wanted to be a hero of my life, and so I purposefully did not spend time in the victim role. Why me, you know, why so young? What if I would have taken him to a different hospital, et cetera, et cetera. So I just went into what
can I control? What is positive, what's constructive? And I think it's so important to tap into your strengths, and so some of my strengths are curiosity and encourage. So a lot of people know about post traumatic stress disorder, but there's another concept, which is post traumatic growth. It is going through the trauma and you know the challenge and you grow from the experience. You don't bypass the pain, but you grow from and so that's what happened to me,
you know, after feeling this incredible amount of pain. Because by the way, for those of you who are listening to this and our moms, when you see your kids in pain, that takes it to a whole new level. And so to see my children suffer, and there's nothing that I could do except hold space for them because I couldn't bring their father back. Obviously, there was a lot of pain and a lot of loss, but a lot of transformation because I didn't attach to the pain.
I just let the pain go through me whichever many times it was going to go through me like waves, and I accepted the feelings and like go of the feelings. And I think it's super important to go through the loss and the feelings of that and the grief and then let it go so that you can have fertile ground for your own happiness.
This conversation is so bright side. I love the contrast between post traumatic stress disorder versus post traumatic growth. That's so empowering to know that there's another lens through which to view trauma. And we also you're on the bright side. Love a framework, and Karen, you have created this framework that you call the bridge to happiness, and you created it for anyone out there who wants to just bring more happiness into their daily lives. You say that the
beginning step is choice. Now I can see the eye rolls happening now, right, Like, I'm thinking of my friends who are currently going through depressive episodes, mental health episodes, and I know what they're thinking. It's not that easy, simon. It's not that easy, Karen, to just view happiness as a choice. Will you break down why that is so effective?
Though?
It depends on your definition of happiness. So if you're expecting life to always be easy and to be challenged free and to be one positive, you know fast it's not going to be like that. So for me, that was also something that really helped me was understanding that life can be hard. Okay, that made it easier, believe it or not. Like, Okay, life is hard and many times really hard, right and for a lot of people,
much harder than for me. And it is difficult and challenging to go through the steps, right, particularly if you're dealing with a mental health issue. Okay, those are really hard because it's inside your head. I've suffered with anxiety. It's horrible, it's brutal. You know, it's like termites in your head. And still sometimes I have it, but I
go into the framework. See, so I know that if I don't do something about it, which means the choice, it's going to balloon into something for me that it's really really toxic and difficult to get out of. For example, if I go out for a walk and see nature, even if I don't want, I don't wait to oh gee, wonderful, I'm feeling like crap and I want to just go
in nature. Yeah, you know, no, I feel anxious. So I'm like, okay, I need to go out in nature because I know that's what's happening biologically is going to help me get out of this mood. And then visually I'm seeing nature. And also science says that if you're seeing nature, that also improves your well being. So I'm letting my body help me hedging myself towards possibly getting out of it. Then maybe I will call a friend. Then maybe i'll put music on as I'm working, I'll
read something inspiring. There's a bunch of things that I do depending on how anxious I'm feeling so that I can reset and that it actually works because I've tried it. You know, I've experimented, So why not experiment on certain things that the social scientists have researched that show that improve your well being. And maybe it's not instant, but over time, small action lead to big change because of the neuroplasticity of our brain. Our brain can adapt or
brain can change, we can build new mindsets. And certainly when you're in right now, if you're going through a very difficult time, it does sound like almost like magic or negating, but it actually works. It's not immediate. Losing weight is not immediate. It takes you know, you have to go and for a walk, you have to go to a gym, you have to sweat a little bit. But eventually you start to see some change. And it's the same thing for our minds and our mindsets.
We're taking a quick break, but we'll be right back with Happiness and Well Being Advocate Karen Guggenheim.
And we're back.
Karen, what you're talking about sounds to me like a bridge, like you start one place and then you cross the bridge to get somewhere else. Your ted talk was actually titled the Bridge to happiness, but you say that the bridge is really meaning. I'm wondering if you can share more about that.
Happiness is like a practice. Okay, So when we're talking about this, like the world happiness of it, or with the experts that come there, it's a practice, right, It's a daily practice that you do. It's not a pursuit or a place that you're going because actually, happiness is inside you, right, That's where it is. So you can keep looking outside at a job, at a person, at a car, at a house, at an outfit, at a trip,
and you can be happy in the moment. But for sustainable happiness, you have to go inside and practice self care. Sometimes it's self compassion, self love, self forgiveness, forgiveness of others, work in your relationships, leave a relationship, leave a job, All of these different things those compose you know your own internal happiness and what matters to you. But the bridge of meaning what you aspire or pursue, for example,
is purpose. And the beautiful thing about that is that you don't even have to accomplish the purpose is the pursuit that is a satisfying part because you're taking actions that are aligned with your values. Right, So once you know your purpose and what that is, then you connect with values and actions that are align with those values.
That takes you on this kind of life journey. And along the way you are feeling more fulfillment, more optimal emotion and flourishing, and also building resilience for when life happens, so you're able to build that muscle for when you need it. Something else that is really important when I talk about the bridge, The other two components of meaning is coherence and significance. Right, So significance that could be like where you attach also with your values. What is
important to you, what makes life worth living? That's significance and coherence is that things make sense. Right, So we need our lives to make sense to us. When you experience a loss, a loss of a job, a divorce, anything that ties into your identity, it's very disorienting for people because it taps into coherence, and so that shakes your meaning. And we are meaning making machines. We're social animals and meaning making machines, and we're doing that all
the time. And I read something today and I thought it was kind of inspiring, and it was like, there're two prisoners right, looking up the jail cell out of the window, and one sees mud and another one sees a starry night.
Right.
Both are true, both are reality based. But you have a choice on which one you want to focus on. We can process the other one take action on the other things. But largely I think that we tend to look at what we don't have or how we are left out. And I'm not talking about systemic exclusion or something like that, talking in everyday life and in every day common relationships, where we focus on maybe what we didn't get instead of all the things that we have
or did get. How can we contribute to somebody else getting right? And another part of the work that we do from our foundation and our nonprofit work with the world, will being a policy form, is also to look at how we can change systemic policies, you know, in the workplace and in government and education so that we can promote well being.
Will you give us an example of that, because I find that so interesting, Like I'm not sure in America our systems are in place for happiness.
I agree that our systems are not in place, and that's why we fell out of the top twenty in the World Happiness Report rankings for the first time, and our youth is like sixty first in the world in happiness. I think we have a lot of social comparison with the social media, which is a place of everybody's having a better time than you, everybody has it better than you.
So comparison is like a happiness killer because obviously with filters and all these joyous things that you see and you don't see the background or what it took to get there. By the way we feel little, it makes
us feel small, It makes us feel real small. We need to work on feelings of belonging and maybe redefining success, maybe looking at policies that quantify success beyond money and GDP, but look at, for example, inclusion and belonging and how is the environment doing, and how do we create more win wind scenarios. How do we teach our kids right? We teach them like trigonometry and calculus, and that's amazing.
I've never used calculus in my professional life. I don't know about you, ladies, but I would have loved the classroom well being. And about me, how does my brain work? What's a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset? How do I change that. What are the guide rails around media? Do I really want to go there? And so I think that we need a shift in how we think about success. If we're talking about the United States and in American society.
I always come back to that concept of the internal locus of control, which is what you mentioned earlier, this idea of focusing on the things you are truly empowered to do on your own. And I'm so heartened to hear about the policies that could improve happiness for us in America. But at the same time, I also just know that no one is coming to save the day, save us and fix everything. So I think the responsibility is really on us to focus on what we can control.
Absolutely, it's both scary and empowering you think about it, because we can do something about it. Yeah, right, But if you're the one saying it's too hard or what is one person going to do, let me tell you something.
You know, with this World Happiness Summit, I devoted my life to it because I just felt it, just felt it was the right thing to do, something that I could do and I could control, right, And it created a lot of meaning for me, and it has created a lot of meaning for a lot of other people and has helped so many people. I would have never imagined that I could do something like that that would have significance for others and help others at scale. Now,
is it going to curate everything? No, But if we can all at least think that it could be possible and start acting in ways of things that we can control, then we start to move the needle, yeah, and have a ripple effect.
It's time for another short break. But when we come back, Karen Guggenheim tells us how to fight hopelessness and despair, and we're back with happiness and well being Advocate Karen Guggenheim, The hopelessness is the killer right Because I'll be honest, I'm in a really good mental health space right now. The past couple of months was a bit turbulent and up and down for me in terms of my mood
and my just outlook on life and my emotions. I'm in a place right now where I can really absorb everything you're telling me, and I can absorb this framework. But when you feel hopeless, it's really hard to do that. It's really hard to stay consistent with this kind of framework. So what are the keys to keeping this in mind when you do feel that sense of despair or hopelessness.
The theme for the next timent actually is hope and community. So hope is so powerful, it's so important, and I think that when you're feeling hopeless, it's like what you're saying, you feel like you have no internal locus of control. So it's super freaking scary. You feel like out of control, and that's really hard. And so first of all, we're okay, Like in even if we're not feeling okay, we're okay.
We're all different, we're all dealing with a lot. We live in a society which is barrashed with information, right, So it's a lot. It's a lot that's going on, and it's a lot that's scary. And then, okay, the other thing is do you feel more hopeless when you're listening to the news and when you have alerts coming everywhere? I have zero alerts on my phone. I hardly look at the news because I stay just peripherally informed as
to the large events. But I know how it impacts me and not in a good way, and so what I choose to do is use my energy to put it into the working solutions that then can help inform people who are making policy decisions or business leaders or individuals. So if for you there is a trigger that you know, don't do it. Don't go there. Protect yourself. So I'm very disciplined. I don't look at my phone first thing
in the morning or last thing at night. So after nine pm, I don't check my phone because if I do, whether it's good or a bad message or whatever, I'll think about it and ruminate while being thinking about it at night, and then if I don't sleep well, then I'm going to be cranky the next morning. I'll have less energy, and that's going to then multiplying to something that most probably is not going to be great for
me down the line. So those things are really important to see what are your triggers and what are your glimmers, and then what makes you feel good. If being with a friend or playing with your dog or whatever it is that just gives you a bit of a nudge in a direction that makes you feel better, then do more of that. Help. If you feel lonely, reach out
to somebody and off for help. We're hardwired to feel better when we help other people, and so try some of that, Try some of these things and see what feels better for you, and understand that sometimes you just cannot feel well and that's okay, Karen.
I love the word glimmer you said, triggers and glimmers. The imagery of it is so bright and powerful to me, at least when I think about a glimmer, I do think about service. I also think about gratitude. And I know this is kind of like a played out thing in our zeitgeist because we talk about gratitude a lot. Easy to talk about, sometimes harder to implement what actually happens in our brain when we experience gratitude.
What's really interesting about gratitude is that it's very hard to be unhappy and be grateful at the same time. It primes your brain towards the positive. So whether you if you want, some people are like, oh, I don't like to do gratitude lists. Just say it in your brains, in your mind as you're brushing your teeth, right, think about things you're grateful for. Take that opportunity brushing teeth. I'm going to just say something that I'm grateful for.
And it's the act of being grateful that primes yourself towards a positive feeling or seeing life in a different way. Also understand that feelings come and go, so you are not your feelings. It's data. So if you see it like, Okay, my feelings are telling me something, am I hungry and my lonely, break it down into like what it is that you're feeling, and then maybe then you can take well, I didn't sleep or I forgot to get a hug, Like a hug is also an amazing, amazing boost. I love.
I'm such a hugger, Karen. I totally agree with you. If I hug somebody I care about, it feel better. Oh my god, I just I breathe easier. I think that's a glimmer, Karen.
As we come to an end, I want to talk to you about relationships and how this factors into the happiness equation, because you've said that, out of everything in our lives, relationships have the biggest impact on our happiness.
Why. Like I said before, we're social creatures, and so you know it's about people, it's about relationships, and we're not meant to be alone. You know, loneliness doesn't feel good now, difference from solitude and we all like our alone time, and that's what I'm talking about. But the feeling of loneliness and isolation is very impactful. The Surgeon General talks about that we're very people centric, so people matter to us. So our relationships matter, whether it's a
personal relationships or professional relationships. This is kind of like why we do what we do, but it's like it's meaning. People are meaning. They create meaning in our lives. They are the mirrors that reflect who we are. Many times, whether it's a friend or a loved one, it can be like going home, you know, in a relationship with a person.
Amazing, Karen, thank you so much for joining us today.
Absolutely my pleasure, Karen, this was awesome. It was so great to meet you. Thank you.
Karen Guggenheim is a happiness and well being advocate, author and founder of WAHASU, the organizing body behind the World Happiness Summit. Her first book, Cultivating Happiness, is out next month.
That's it for today's show.
Tomorrow, we're joined by the most awarded artists in the accadem Me of Country Music Awards history and three time Grammy winner Miranda Lambert.
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coligard dot com slash podcast. Listen and follow the bright Side on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Simone Boye. You can find me at Simone Voice on Instagram and TikTok.
I'm Danielle Robe on Instagram and TikTok.
That's ro Ba.
Y see you tomorrow, folks. Keep looking on the bright side.